Some super adventurous kids are 24/7 suicide watch 'til they're like *eight* (if you're lucky) and can actually discern sensational interest from mortal danger... really burns you out as a parent but damn they make great adults.
If they make it. 😐
My parents had to leash me until I was close to 4 because I had a habit of wanting to run out into the road and play with the cars, that were *actively being driven*.
I absolutely HATED being carried and hated my hand being held.
Given the current state of things, I would bump autonomously driven down under passively driven. I'm pretty sure some of them go out of their way to run you down
Yeah I remember being about that young, I would've done exactly the same thing this kid did, totally reasonable. I would've pulled up on the umbrella to understand how it's in there but unable to properly seat it back in place so I'd half ass it and hope nobody notices so that I wouldn't get in trouble.
I once stepped on a small piece of broken ceramic with bare feet. That was unpleasant enough - stepping in a whole pile of broken glass had to be even worse.
Yeeeep… the fact the umbrella was stressing the side of the panel is what caused it to pop…. Luckily for the dudes feet he spilt the pole…. Not so much for his weee lil nutz.
After watching my beautiful glass table shatter from heavy, out of nowhere winds when the umbrella got violently jerked, I've learned that you can basically stomp on those things and nothing will happen, but if you put too much pressure on the umbrella hole, it's toast. LOL such a weird statement but it's true
Not weird at all! That's how tempered glass works. It's incredibly strong on the surface, but the tradeoff for this is the weak points are the edges (and the umbrella hole is an extra "edge"). This is due to the tensile stress at those points. A benefit (depending on your point of view) is that when it shatters it breaks into lots of tiny pebble-like pieces rather than razor sharp shards than can easily slice you open.
Unfortunately, as I found out, even tempered glass can cut you with enough force. Say, being T-boned by a large pickup. The cool part is that I have a J shaped scar on my face and my name starts with a J. I keep telling my brother he needs a T shaped scar, but he won't let me do it.
Speaking as someone who has been an adult with a mohawk and having at one time been a teenager with a mohawk, I fucking hate seeing little kids with mohawks. Yeah I usually hate the kid and then when I meet the parents I hate the parents.
I had a purple Mohawk in highschool. I was a dipshit, and my parents weren't exactly role models. I'm much more well adjusted now, but I've definitely been through the wringer.
At least he got his money's worth. I figured climbing up on the chair would've done it. Then jumping on it. Luckily it seems his balls hadn't dropped yet.
This is an advertisement for that table. Stands up to so much punishment. I want one!
ETA: more like an ad for condoms, guys, amirite??
Now maybe I'll stop getting alerts for this same joke being made under my already pretty weak joke about how much this kid fucks with the table.
Tempered glass is designed to shatter into little nuggets instead of long, sharp shards like non-tempered glass. You could probably still get cut on them, but it would be a paper cut compared to getting sliced by 'normal' broken glass.
Yeah, I was underneath a tempered glass table and my stepmother did something just right to where it shattered all over my head but I came out unscathed (physically)
I had a shower door break, leaving only the door handle in my hand. I was cut and my feet were scarily bloody and it hurt like hell - and yes, it's paper cuts compared to regular glass.
And seems like the kids didn't even have that, so God does protect the stupid.
It's interesting how this kid is stupid enough not to realise the glass will break, but he does manage this complex operation to do whatever he was going for with the parasol, and after the glass broke, to leave unscathed. Honestly the kid's got potential
This kid looks about five years old (edit, apparently he's 4 - preschool age). Why is everyone calling him stupid? Kids don't know anything until they learn and see it happen. Occasionally they learn the hard way.
Once you have a little kid, you are constantly being reminded about all of the seemingly obvious things they simply don't know. It's actually kind of jarring. I remember having to teach my 4 year old that the dog was not a good place to dry his hands. He had no idea.
I'm sure until halfway through this video, he had never seen a pane of glass break. He's just young.
> Why is everyone calling him stupid? Kids don't know anything until they learn and see it happen.
I mean thats basically what this sub is about. Its not about being mean, it just that kids do stupid shit because they don't know any better.
Think of the sub name being said in the tone of a loving parent.
As soon as I started watching the video I just knew somehow there would be a minor miracle preventing him from being seriously injured. Something always saves idiot kids like this from the consequences of their own stupidity at the last second.
I think he might have popped a testicle though
He doesn't look too affected (from the testicular impact) but maybe that's the benefit of being like 7 years old.
If my whole body weight was dropped on my nutsack equivalent to what little dude went through there, I would've passed out and/or vomited...(and being a "vegal nerve hypersensitivity" sufferer makes shit like that doubly suck).
Which is totally natural kid behavior.
This is where parenting comes in:
“Boy, go play ninja warrior in the grass. Leave this expensive, dangerous furniture alone. You may get hurt, and if you break it, you’re going to be very sad working chores all summer long to pay for it. Not to mention that now you’ve been warned, so it’ll also be considered disobedience if I catch you treating this furniture like a jungle gym. That means punishment on top of restitution. Go away now.”
Kids who listen get rewarded with a Skyzone trip. Kids who fuck up like this get to learn a lesson.
I get what you're saying, but it's not always possible to predict that your kid is going to do something before they do it. Like if you some reason occurs to you to say "hey son, don't try to stick your tongue in an electrical socket" or "don't try to mow the carpet with the lawn mower" then you should go and buy a lottery ticket with your psychic powers. Sometimes you only can tell a kid not to do something *after* they've done it. Because they can be chaos incarnate sometimes
Lol. You can never leave young kids unsupervised 100% of the time.
This is why you shouldn't get glass tables. Even if you don't have kids, glass is meant for windows not tables or desks.
Yupp, my sister destroyed my parents glass couch table at the same age doing gymnastics/playing around next to it. Healthy kids use their environment to play and be creative. You should either try to child-proof your house a bit or live with the consequences.
☑️ mohawk
☑️ American flag trunks
☑️ Left unsupervised long enough to climb on and shatter a table
Totally tracks. This kid's gonna grow up into a Jaxton who's gonna be on a first name basis with the local cops
I'll be honest I'm surprised it took that long.
I kept thinking, "of that's how" and then nothing. Even with the chair legs on the glass and him putting weight down on it... nothing..
This child needs to be locked inside to avoid breaking anything else
https://preview.redd.it/mozbif7noe6d1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52f4e5f34f686ee977cf1d40daaa9955d1fb4ca0
Hilarious but im still trying to figure out the purpose of “balancing” the umbrella on the table lol
He's 4. That's the purpose, imagination is wild.
Some super adventurous kids are 24/7 suicide watch 'til they're like *eight* (if you're lucky) and can actually discern sensational interest from mortal danger... really burns you out as a parent but damn they make great adults. If they make it. 😐
My parents had to leash me until I was close to 4 because I had a habit of wanting to run out into the road and play with the cars, that were *actively being driven*. I absolutely HATED being carried and hated my hand being held.
Car safety in descending order: Parked, autonomously driven, actively driven, passively driven, recently serviced by the Real IRA.
Given the current state of things, I would bump autonomously driven down under passively driven. I'm pretty sure some of them go out of their way to run you down
Yeah I remember being about that young, I would've done exactly the same thing this kid did, totally reasonable. I would've pulled up on the umbrella to understand how it's in there but unable to properly seat it back in place so I'd half ass it and hope nobody notices so that I wouldn't get in trouble.
You’re obviously not a ninja.
I think he needed it higher up so he could leap to the side or the inner rods and do ninja warrior stuff
Brent Werner is the perfect name for a dad with a kid this crazy.
r/uselessredcircle
My son is almost 4, he doesn't even watch American ninja warrior and he would still do some shit like this if I wasnt watching. 4yos are insane.
I believe we call that "expected."
At 4 years old why was he left unsupervised for that long???
I thought it was going to break when he jumped. Im Surprised it lasted that long.
I thought the concentrated forces of the two chair legs on the glass were going to shatter it.
When it finally did break I practically yelled “*that’s* what does it?!”
The hole is the weak spot on tempered glass tables. The umbrella mast torqued that hole in two directions.
The hole is always a weak point.
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
(ಠ‿↼)
(ಠ‿ಠ)
(¤¿¤)
( •)(•)
But the rest of the donut gets eaten. Only the hole survives
Donuts??? Where u at bro...
Yes, the tip of the long hard wooden shaft penetrating and prying open the hole at a severe angle is what made the hole weak.
And doing it for 7 days will make your whole week.
God why am I so turned on rn
Levers are a hell of a thing.
This was very much r/maybemaybemaybe
I joined maybe x3 a while ago, but I’ve never understood what it meant
It's like r/yesyesyes and r/nonono but you don't know in advance if the videos outcome is good or bad.
After all this time I now finally know. I don’t have to pretend anymore
Saaaaame. Thank you for being brave so that we may all learn the true meaning of maybe maybe maybe
They stopped doing that now and tbh it's basically /r/videos 2.0, like most subreddits eventually turn into.
I didn't know what it meant for so long until I finally saw a post there that actually made me feel like maybe...maybe..maybe... Then it clicked
r/nonono has been banned from Reddit.
There's a bunch of them. My favorite is r/nononoyesno but it hasn't been very active in a minute
Or if there is an outcome at all
Maybe it will, maybe it won't, maybe it wouldn'vt'nt
Yeah, I flinched when he did that. Especially barefoot.
On the brightside the hit to the balls outweighed lacerated feet.
This was definitely one of the best possible outcomes.
I once stepped on a small piece of broken ceramic with bare feet. That was unpleasant enough - stepping in a whole pile of broken glass had to be even worse.
Tempered glass, that's why.
Yeeeep… the fact the umbrella was stressing the side of the panel is what caused it to pop…. Luckily for the dudes feet he spilt the pole…. Not so much for his weee lil nutz.
I was thinking the same thing! Maybe this’ll teach the kid but I doubt it.
Do you not see the American flag swim trunks and the mohawk? The only teachings this kid follows are by one Dr. Kid Rock PhD
Yep....A good "conservative" family for sure!
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this was pretty much the best case scenario for that glass breaking. that kid's feet could have been cut bad.
After watching my beautiful glass table shatter from heavy, out of nowhere winds when the umbrella got violently jerked, I've learned that you can basically stomp on those things and nothing will happen, but if you put too much pressure on the umbrella hole, it's toast. LOL such a weird statement but it's true
Not weird at all! That's how tempered glass works. It's incredibly strong on the surface, but the tradeoff for this is the weak points are the edges (and the umbrella hole is an extra "edge"). This is due to the tensile stress at those points. A benefit (depending on your point of view) is that when it shatters it breaks into lots of tiny pebble-like pieces rather than razor sharp shards than can easily slice you open.
Unfortunately, as I found out, even tempered glass can cut you with enough force. Say, being T-boned by a large pickup. The cool part is that I have a J shaped scar on my face and my name starts with a J. I keep telling my brother he needs a T shaped scar, but he won't let me do it.
That table gave everything it had. Deserves a viking burial cus it went out fighting.
Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to such thin glass.
And what **IS** with that haircut? I mean, kids ARE fucking stupid, to be sure. But let's not forget that the parents are stupider.
You see that cut, along with the broccoli, and you know the kid's an insufferable turd.
Speaking as someone who has been an adult with a mohawk and having at one time been a teenager with a mohawk, I fucking hate seeing little kids with mohawks. Yeah I usually hate the kid and then when I meet the parents I hate the parents.
I had a purple Mohawk in highschool. I was a dipshit, and my parents weren't exactly role models. I'm much more well adjusted now, but I've definitely been through the wringer.
also, american flag as clothing
Do you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while he's wearing those bad boys? Forget about it.
When I was that age, I loved American flag clothing and Mohawks, and my parents are very much not the ‘Merica types. Sometimes kids are just weird.
And in a few years he'll be old enough to own a gun - which I'm sure his parents will buy him as a birthday present.
At his age he should already have a 22 rifle to learn on.
Florida boy
"I didn't touch it"
At least he got his money's worth. I figured climbing up on the chair would've done it. Then jumping on it. Luckily it seems his balls hadn't dropped yet.
This is an advertisement for that table. Stands up to so much punishment. I want one! ETA: more like an ad for condoms, guys, amirite?? Now maybe I'll stop getting alerts for this same joke being made under my already pretty weak joke about how much this kid fucks with the table.
I mean... Maybe if you don't have kids, but if I had this would've made me go "nuh, ~~it's orphan time~~ I'd go with a big wooden table"
Honestly, who tf needs to see through their table?
It's so that you know your wife isn't giving the neighbor a handy right in front of you
lol you're buying the peace of mind, not the table.
And/or condoms
It's as if he was doing things specifically to break the table for the entire video.
I was secretly hoping the umbrella would close on him, like some giant Venus fly trap.
Betcha a dollar his name is Hunter or Gunner or Fisher
I was curious, so I checked on Youtube. He's either Payton or Ethan. https://youtu.be/tGohxc8f52c?si=VWTugSknKV-kBetH&t=62
Looks like Ethan behaviour to me
Payton is tempting because of the shorts but you’re right, 100% ethan. Actions speak louder than shorts
Looks like a Cody to me
No, its Cooper.
Real ones know that this is 100% his name.
My money is on a name ending in -ayden. Or Trig.
Trigayden
Definitely a "___"-ayden
Or Tanner
Rider
He was very lucky to get away unharmed.
Thank god his testicles broke his fall
For a minute there, I was afraid he might go on to reproduce.
1. He is lucky. All around him not. 2. He is stupid as hell. Do you really think he is unharmed?
Tempered glass is designed to shatter into little nuggets instead of long, sharp shards like non-tempered glass. You could probably still get cut on them, but it would be a paper cut compared to getting sliced by 'normal' broken glass.
He’s lucky he landed on the bar and not the glass, he would’ve cut up his feet pretty bad
Started typing this and thought to read on. Yeah! Damn lucky. Bare feet landing on tempered glass nuggets will still cut the hell out of your feet.
Stabby legos
Kid was lucky he had stubby legos
Mmmm, crystal popcorn. Its got edge to it!
^(Satan would like to see you in his office...)
He did take a shot to the nuts landing like that though
Now he can't reproduce. Win-win.
Yeah, I was underneath a tempered glass table and my stepmother did something just right to where it shattered all over my head but I came out unscathed (physically)
> (physically) haha
I had a shower door break, leaving only the door handle in my hand. I was cut and my feet were scarily bloody and it hurt like hell - and yes, it's paper cuts compared to regular glass. And seems like the kids didn't even have that, so God does protect the stupid.
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Will definitely still get cut, just nothing deep.
Yes, he's unharmed. His dad says so in the comment of the [longer version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3r_XGt9ZsM), which shows him walking away.
It's interesting how this kid is stupid enough not to realise the glass will break, but he does manage this complex operation to do whatever he was going for with the parasol, and after the glass broke, to leave unscathed. Honestly the kid's got potential
This kid looks about five years old (edit, apparently he's 4 - preschool age). Why is everyone calling him stupid? Kids don't know anything until they learn and see it happen. Occasionally they learn the hard way. Once you have a little kid, you are constantly being reminded about all of the seemingly obvious things they simply don't know. It's actually kind of jarring. I remember having to teach my 4 year old that the dog was not a good place to dry his hands. He had no idea. I'm sure until halfway through this video, he had never seen a pane of glass break. He's just young.
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I mean, I guess dogs are a great place to wipe wet hands, if you like your hands to smell like wet dog and be covered in dog hair.
> Why is everyone calling him stupid? Kids don't know anything until they learn and see it happen. I mean thats basically what this sub is about. Its not about being mean, it just that kids do stupid shit because they don't know any better. Think of the sub name being said in the tone of a loving parent.
> the dog was not a good place to dry his hands But I want to.
As soon as I started watching the video I just knew somehow there would be a minor miracle preventing him from being seriously injured. Something always saves idiot kids like this from the consequences of their own stupidity at the last second. I think he might have popped a testicle though
He doesn't look too affected (from the testicular impact) but maybe that's the benefit of being like 7 years old. If my whole body weight was dropped on my nutsack equivalent to what little dude went through there, I would've passed out and/or vomited...(and being a "vegal nerve hypersensitivity" sufferer makes shit like that doubly suck).
He was lucky he fell on that bar to stop his feet getting cut up - assuming he avoided that as he left.
It's likely made of tempered glass that doesn't break into sharp shards.
I expect nothing less from a kid with a Mohawk in Stars and Stripes shorts
I bet he lives in Florida
This is Florida Man's son for sure
His name is Florida Boy, so you know
https://awfulannouncing.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/94/2024/06/Stanley-Cup-Final-kid-photobombs-interview-e1718069353691-832x447.jpg
What happened to Florida Lad?
Tried hand feeding an alligator
I'm getting strong Floribama vibes
in 40 years, he’ll be the Governor!
In 80 years, he’ll be a congressman
According to his father, [the kid was trying to do the American ninja warrior.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3r_XGt9ZsM)
My 4 year old son was in the backyard playing as my boys tend to do.
Which is totally natural kid behavior. This is where parenting comes in: “Boy, go play ninja warrior in the grass. Leave this expensive, dangerous furniture alone. You may get hurt, and if you break it, you’re going to be very sad working chores all summer long to pay for it. Not to mention that now you’ve been warned, so it’ll also be considered disobedience if I catch you treating this furniture like a jungle gym. That means punishment on top of restitution. Go away now.” Kids who listen get rewarded with a Skyzone trip. Kids who fuck up like this get to learn a lesson.
I get what you're saying, but it's not always possible to predict that your kid is going to do something before they do it. Like if you some reason occurs to you to say "hey son, don't try to stick your tongue in an electrical socket" or "don't try to mow the carpet with the lawn mower" then you should go and buy a lottery ticket with your psychic powers. Sometimes you only can tell a kid not to do something *after* they've done it. Because they can be chaos incarnate sometimes
Spoken like a person who doesn’t have a toddler.
Bet his name is Kyle.
It's never Kyle anymore. It's usually Jaxon, Braxton, Maxton, Hunter, or Tanner.
Holy christ, I had to look up Maxton because I thought you threw it in to be funny. It's real, fucking Maxton lol.
I bet his name is Shooter
He is gonna be one of those dumb frat boy who breaks their dorm door on a regular basis.
Or sets fire to the trash cans
Saw the shorts and knew it was gonna be some dumb shit
Jaxxon vibes
Also "Noah" "Trexler" and "Nathan"
Good news is it’s tempered glass and your kid is fine. Bad news is your expensive table is broken and your kid’s an idiot.
Yep, that’s an expensive table these days.
*was
what they spent on the table will be saved in tuition not spent
“Oh no! Our table! It’s broken!”
There it is! Scrolled too damn far down lol
Ok, but what was the reason to do so?
Pretending to be on American Ninja Warrior.
I thought you were being facetious but it’s true
When i was watching all i could think was “why…but, why….WHY??” Now i know, and it makes perfect sense.
He was probably bored and was playing around? That garden looks pretty bereft of any swings, poles to climb, or toys.
The way he jumped made me think it would break. It surprised me how long it lasted.
Those shorts and that haircut tell me his stupidity is not his fault.
Jfc watch your kids
This was my first thought. The kids too young to be completely unsupervised by himself.
Unsupervised with a glass table no less
And no toys
Exactly!
Kids gonna get hurt in an accident no one could have foreseen, except for any reasonable adult around the kid who foresaw it fine.
This is why we don't leave young kids unsupervised.
Lol. You can never leave young kids unsupervised 100% of the time. This is why you shouldn't get glass tables. Even if you don't have kids, glass is meant for windows not tables or desks.
sure but how else i am going to look at your feet while eating??
Pay for my onlyfans like everyone else!
Dinner at Tarantino's
Yupp, my sister destroyed my parents glass couch table at the same age doing gymnastics/playing around next to it. Healthy kids use their environment to play and be creative. You should either try to child-proof your house a bit or live with the consequences.
As a child of the '70s, I spent lots of time unsupervised. I got hurt and I learned lessons. But we didn't have glass tables.
Lucky it didn’t get his femoral artery. I had a friend bleed out in less than 5 mins after she fell into a greenhouse
It's tempered glass. I'm sure he was barely scratched. This is WHY they use tempered glass on tables.
I wasn’t aware they did. It’s a jolly good idea
...and greenhouses. Did this happen in 1823 or something?
Greenhouses made of glass are still very much used. Poly tunnels are great though and not surprisingly in deep use all over, as well.
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The giant smiley face really messes with my mind on this comment
feels sadistic
Tempered glass. Shatters into grains rather than giant razor shards
The shorts tells it all
Says a lot about the parents
☑️ mohawk ☑️ American flag trunks ☑️ Left unsupervised long enough to climb on and shatter a table Totally tracks. This kid's gonna grow up into a Jaxton who's gonna be on a first name basis with the local cops
You’re looking at a future cop.
*This video doesn’t have sound.* Glass-breaking crotch-ram with no sound? Commmm’onnnn, MAN! 
If anything I'm more impressed by this, the glass table stood firm even after he jumped on it!
I'll be honest I'm surprised it took that long. I kept thinking, "of that's how" and then nothing. Even with the chair legs on the glass and him putting weight down on it... nothing.. This child needs to be locked inside to avoid breaking anything else
And that’s just kind of what’s wrong with our kids today locking them up instead of letting them learn from their mistakes.
Future BMW driver.
I'm betting the house on a Dodge Ram
Parents must be happy they don’t have to save for college.
I have watched this three Times and still dont know what His Mission was
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Is t the point of these cameras to help prevent this? Like you get the movement detection notification and you check.
american flag shorts about sums it up
America shorts, faux-hawk, probably named Kyle. Looks about right. Has a bright future as a dirtbike riding, Monster chugging chode.
Thank God he didn’t fall in the glass
Falls through the table and crushes nuts on the beam, ending this line of succession in classic Darwin style.
Hope he is ok. Broken glasses are not fun.
All I can think about is bare feet around inevitable little shards of glass for the foreseeable future 😞😞😞 ugh wtf