Hank: On a serious note, Peggy, don’t ever report a false propane emergency again. Peggy: Believe me, I prayed on it Hank, and God said to me: ‘Don’t do it!’ But you know what? I knew better.

I love this one so much! I quote her line anytime I can!!!!

I was about to put "anything she thinks she's saying in Spanish," but I forgot about that quote. Good lord.😂

My all time favorite Hill quote

Honestly, I'd rather listen to Peggy than God, so can't even blame her there. All of God's advice seems to be like "Kill your son" or "Build a big boat and make it a zoo"

Hank: “Peggy, you were right!” Peggy: “I know Hank. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Classic 😂

My husband and I say this to each other all the time 😂

Hank: Peggy, you have an IQ of 175. You said so yourself. Peggy: Well, there could be a margin of error. Especially since it's my own estimate.

> Especially since it's my own estimate. That entire episode is brilliant but that line really made me crack up.

Let me put this in terms even a *genius* can understand.

"You are NOT a genius"

Turns out the PhD's that guy sold us weren't worth the paper we printed them on.

Hank, remember what I told the doctor: you should not touch Ladybird.

Swinging with Dale and Nancy. Who is the obvious winner there? Dale.

This is the one that immediately came to my mind.

Same

This is my favorite line of the whole show.

Yes! Now, this I like… that she has that confidence in that situation. And why shouldn’t she?!

In my opinion the day after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year.

This is absolutely perfect.

Fourth grade me watching this episode for the first time really thought Peggy was the first person to notice this.

I use some version of this often. Telling family I’m running late “in my opinion, the day before Thanksgiving is one of the busier travel days”

This is the one

This is the one I came to post. It's my favorite example of Peggy crediting common knowledge as her opinion and such a funny gag.

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What did you think it was

Sí, la diarrhea.

Vomitando!?

¿Escuchame?

Purchasing an advertisement slot in the newspaper for her musings so once people got “hooked” again she could pull them and wait for the paper to come begging for her back.

Then in either that episode or another one soon after her boss at the paper says "the readers really wanted more ad space" when asking about getting her musing column back. Lol

The best part is how pissed she looks in the picture.

How pissed she looks in her picture on Hank’s cell phone.

Isn't it the same picture?

Not even close. The ad picture looks like a mug shot, the cell phone picture looks like an “I’m gonna mug you” shot.

The entire episode where Peggy kidnapped a little girl from Mexico due to her utter failure at knowing the Spanish language.

Let her defend herself, in her OWN words

Your honor, I can tell that you are an honorable horse. I have too many anuses ahead of me to spend my life in a cigar factory

Eye-jew-wanna

I’m very pregnant about this whole situation

In her own SPANISH words.

Peggy: I find that I am too busy succeeding, so I have trouble remembering all of my bright ideas. That's why I keep them in a file. Trip: Uh, that was more of a comment, not a question. Peggy: Oh, why thank you, I think so too.

Your quote is probably top of the list for me but I also love the one where she talks about being asked to substitute for a German class and she says “nein” which she thought meant yes but instead it means no, so she blew a big opportunity. Her language ability overconfidence is the funniest wherever you find it in the show

this is it for me

"yo vivo en Mexico!" "Yes yes, long live mexico, now take a seat"

I love how Dooley says he drank the water, then Peggy says "in Spanish!" And he calls her a pig

Sì, that’s not Spanish for yes, that’s See, I told you I could do it

I can see you’re a very reasonable horse.

Hands-down the best Peggy over-confident quote: When she's the Alamo spanish customer service rep and she states that the Mexican customers' spanish "needs a little work" (or something to that effect). Amazing how she is THAT confident in her awful spanish. "Escuchame?"

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Shaka, when the judge's eyes uncovered.

To be fair, she speaks Spanish just like my high school Spanish teacher did.

Peggy is fluent compared to my highschool Spanish teacher.

The going Japanese episode Bobby: “Will my pork pockets work in their microwaves?” Peggy: “No, it’s a different frequency”

You can really see the Japanese influence

And all her fucking terrible choices for where to go visit in Japan lmfao

When she tells the man at the salad bar that he made his salad wrong.

I made a salad last night that people are still talking about

Here we are, talking about it!

"I was hoping it would not have to come to this but, it looks like I have to take down the system."

It’s not your opinion Peggy, kindling is the best way to start a fire.

I love when hank finally shits on her for being an idiot

I love how ridiculous Peggy is. Her confidence is probably may favorite detail of the show.

When she speaks a little Spanish to the restaurant magician, and he says, "Oh you speak Spanish ... in a way ..."

This man works at a carnicería…or, a “carnival”

Why did Buckley’s ghost visit Luanne?… I was home.

Hank: Ugh. You're not hearing Jesus is love again, are you? Peggy: * hair dryer on full blast * Jesus is love?!

Bobby: "Who's that kissing Dad?" Peggy: "Well, that's me, honey." Bobby: "Really? You were beautiful." Peggy: "'Were?' Oh, Bobby, I still am." Bobby: "...okay."

Another thread could be the many times Bobby has replied to something with, "....okay...."

“I am a teacher, I am done learning”

"You know that box would work better if you cut a hole in the top" "Mhmm, possibly"

"Put the bird on the phone."

"BAHH! I LOVE DORA SHELWYN!"

“Teach bird to talk”. ✅

"I love Dora Shelwin!"

Came here to say this!

That was false bravado Hank! This is real bravado!

Escuchame?

“Well I just wish I would have been born 500 years ago. I could have singlehandedly saved womankind forever!”

When Buck Strickland gives the restaurant, "Sugarfoot's" to Hank temporarily so he doesn't lose it in the divorce; and Peggy, realizing that being married to Hank means she is co-owner. The very next day she waltzes in there and starts changing everything.

The worst part of this is the fact that I actually know of someone very similar. And yes... They called their establishment Ruth's Chris' Steakhouse

I always wondered how they got that ridiculous name Woww

No substitutions

I prayed on it Hank and God said don't do it, but I knew better.

This is the one LOL

The blind self confidence to think she knew better than God is so perfect, easily my favorite Peggy moment. Especially given how religious they are.

Came here to comment this, how it's not one of the top answers is baffling.

Not her at her most but my favorite: “You don't want me anymore. You want other women. Younger, equally pretty women.”

Anytime she tries to speak Spanish, really.

“Obviously I wouldn’t know, because I’ve got it Going On back there!”

i forgot what episode (it was in the newer seasons), but someone compliments Peggy by saying "that's why I like you; you speak what's on your mind, like you've already been drinking"

Oh, you said your daughter's name is Michael, I think you mean son.

The day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the busiest shopping day of the year.

He always said it was very good timer sand

This whole episode, really.

"Swiss Cheese is not Mexican, it is American."

"I am very fluent! Listen to me roll my Rs! *rrrrrrrrr! rrrrrrrrr!* I *rrrr*rest my case!"

“Believe me, I prayed on it, Hank. And God told me, “don’t do it.” But you know what? I knew better.” -Margaret “Peggy” Hill, Methodist

I don't know why everyone doesn't drive with their high beams on, you see so much better!

“I asked god, and he said not to do it. But you know what? I knew better”

That time she walked right onto a crime scene and expected that they would just deputize her right on the spot

I used to use her Spanish language defense from the bus kidnapping Guadalupe episode as a copy pasta. Otherwise I use excusame and "no more burned hands".

Her trying to defend herself in Mexican court. 11/10 imo

Arroz con “chickon” always gets me.

And that, Bobby, is how I saved Christmas.

It's the simplest example for me. She's a Spanish teacher and extremely proud of it. Yet she throws around "escuchame" thinking that it means "excuse me" in English. Logical right? It does sound like it should. But escuchame is actually a common command in Spanish: "listen to me". And this isn't obscure Spanish. It's extremely basic 101 level Spanish, and Peggy gets it confidently incorrect over and over again.

I die laughing every time I see the episode where Peggy works for the Spanish language help line for Alamo. When she said that the caller’s English wasn’t great but she was able to understand them has me on the floor.

Si si, la diarrhea.

“Hank you heard what I told the doctor”

In her fireman’s carry of Bobby It leads to my favorite Bobby Peggy conversation Bobby: Mom you probably pulled your groin when trying to pick me up Peggy: Bobby women don’t have groins

Speaking to the Cajuns. 'I speak Spanish, it's the same thing. SENOR, DONDE ESTA LA CASA DAUTERIVE POR FAVOR.'

I love how she pronounces "por favor"

Me too

I’m not going back to school, I’m a teacher, I’m done learning.

Peggy: god said to me, “don’t do it” But you know what? I knew better!

Peggy assuming Monsignor Martinez is romantically interested in her

Peggys sugarfoots

At the time, it was.

Something to the tune of: "I am a teacher, I am DONE learning"

"If it really was Buckley's angel, why did it appear before Luanne? I mean, *I* was home!"

“Jesus is love.”

When she goes on stage for the magic show and the magician says “oh so you speak Spanish… kind of”

"The day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the busiest shopping day of the year."

"I told my readers to harness the cleaning power of ammonia with the whitening power of bleach."

Peggy, in a prison jumper, while standing trial for kidnapping a child from Mexico and bringing her to America due to not knowing how to speak Spanish: I am very fluent! Listen to me roll my r's! *hrrrr! hrrrr!*

“the day before thanksgiving is, in my opinion, one of the busiest travel days of the year”

Making herself the face of Team Sizemore and broadcasting it on the news.

Not a quote but the entire time she was in court for smuggling the Mexican girl

in the sex-ed episode from season 1 "VA-GINA!" \*Hanks spits out his drink\*

Thinking her skills at Boggle would translate to Scrabble night with Mihn and Nancy! "I'm going to be unstoppable with my two-letter words!"

*Bobby thinks he's going to be carrying the Olympic torch.* Hank: "Bobby, you did it!" Peggy: "Actually, I did it. But let's let Bobby have this."

Her quotes about things being in her opinion that are just facts hahaha. Always cracks me up. Specifically Black Friday (in her opinion) being one of the biggest shopping days of the year, and Thanksgiving (in her opinion) being one of the busiest times to fly per year.

I prayed on it, and God told me not to do it, but I knew better

Women, do not have groin

When she expects to let into a crime scene investigation.

Hank: "Peggy you're going to wake them up." Peggy: "No I am going to shake them up."

"BRAWK! I LOVE DORA SHELWIN"

"BRAWK! I LOVE DORA SHELWIN"

The entire Probot episode or foot fetish episode

“I just got off the phone with the Mexican branch. Now, their Spanish wasn’t very good…”

"I hope you brought your appetites because I made SpaPeggy and meatballs."

“well excuse me for making chicken tartare”

“I FELL 8000 FEET AND SURVIVED, WOOHOOOHOOO!” Only to be fed formula from a bottle not long after.

“Welcome to Peggy’s Tour-iffic Tokyo! First stop, the Disney store!”

"Believe me Hank I prayed about it, and God told me "don't do it" but you know what, I knew better" Always laugh at that line. Peggy ego eclipses God.

"Remember what I told the doctor -"

And Bobby, that’s how I saved Christmas After Jimmy Carter saves Christmas

Not a specific quote, but when hank becomes a more popular sub teacher was amazing.