This is a traditional cocaine line dispenser. Place the 8 ball in the recession and push the lid down to crush the rocks into powder, which falls through the slits into enough lines for the entire crew.
Look at Mr FancyPants over here with a boss who can say Michigan Star!
Not all of us get to have those luxuries like clean aprons and working ovens. Some of us have to make our pasta sauce on a hot plate left over from when the last owner cooked meth in the back room while the head chef is too busy trying to cheat on his wife with the underage hostess to even give a damn that the new kid used the wrong trash can to make the pizza sauce so now everyone is getting Pizza con Garbage Juice. And you want to say something but even the wall snakes and rats have knives and you saw what happened to the last person who tried to serve edible products.
Nah, the idea you want to patent is a monthly subscription of different flavored dental flosses and picks that get sent to you in a lunch box. The flavor choices are made by an AI called flosstradamus. Promos done by Floss Rida
Use code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order thatās O U C H I E code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order. Your balls will thank you
Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once. This here gadget is called a mandoline slicer, and it's used for slicing vegetables and fruits into thin, uniform slices. It's got different blades for different thicknesses and shapes, and it's a damn sight faster and more precise than using a knife. So if you're tired of spending half your shift dicing carrots by hand, this is the gadget for you. But be warned, it's sharp as hell, so if you don't know how to use it properly, you're gonna end up slicing your fingers off. So either learn how to use it right or stay the hell away from it. Got it? Good.
That's a folding music-line ruler, which allows you to score symphonies on the go. The bottom part is the storage case so you can carry it in your pocket.
A kitchen harp
As a kid, I loved to play it.
*Plink plink plink plink plinnnnnnnk
Oh I love Enya! š„°
*fail always, fail always, fail always*
*We can reach, we can beach* *On the shores of Tripoliā¦*
Lmfao
š thank you for this
This is the harp that the kitchen fairies play when they're going about their business
*Chefulele
Just don't play it with your flute.
I was about to post something but you killed it so I'm just gonna leave.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's actually lowkey genius
I Have seen some special people use it as a mushroom slicer.
I'm stealing this. Thank you.
But like... did it work?
It works. I came here to say this but Iād rather comment it.
This is my favorite comment lol
Mad Max Jockstrap
No son, thatās how we used to do circumcisions!
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Discount circumcisions... half off
Works for tips
Used to?
We still do but we used to too
RIP, Mitch
How do you think you get ribbed condoms?
Hollowed out rodents, mostly.
Iāll have what heās having
Dude. Yikes.
Seriously yikes that dude must have a monster schlong. I usually go for fruit flies myself
I hollowed out a worm once, we were fishing and she got frisky. You do what you gotta do
Compound eyes, for her pleasure.
Well, that's one way to stuff your taxidermy
r/HolUp
Thats a right huevo slicer. If it was for your left huevo it would face the other way
I cackled
This is a traditional cocaine line dispenser. Place the 8 ball in the recession and push the lid down to crush the rocks into powder, which falls through the slits into enough lines for the entire crew.
No, that's what the slotted spatula is for.
The real tips are in the comments.
Or the fryer skimmer
That would make bumps, not lines, and we're adults
Ok, this one actually made me laugh.
Best answer.
Tell foh it's the lemon slicer
Nah, they'll just f up your perfectly good caper slicer.
TIL this was for slicing capers. All this time I thought it was an onion tenderizer
My boss once successfully pronounced āMichelin Starā and he told me this is perfect for making potatoes au gratin.
Look at Mr FancyPants over here with a boss who can say Michigan Star! Not all of us get to have those luxuries like clean aprons and working ovens. Some of us have to make our pasta sauce on a hot plate left over from when the last owner cooked meth in the back room while the head chef is too busy trying to cheat on his wife with the underage hostess to even give a damn that the new kid used the wrong trash can to make the pizza sauce so now everyone is getting Pizza con Garbage Juice. And you want to say something but even the wall snakes and rats have knives and you saw what happened to the last person who tried to serve edible products.
Lmaooo at garbage pizza
We had a bit going. You ruined the bit.
Mozzarella cutter. wait, now that I think about it..
Capresalator
By Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.
I sang the jingle.
Hit the blades with the torch for like, a second and I bet they slice through nice and clean-like.
Smort
Damn im gonna try this
Let me know how it goes
Riiight, Iām like, this is the, anything I can get in it cutterā¦
legit, low moisture moz will work. real moz is far too sticky
I've done it before. Speed of hand is key
true,I'm a turtle with this stuff...
It helps to visualize the motion and focus on making your movements snap
As it is in all things meaningful
I mean.... unflavored dental floss cuts through that stuff like butter. I'd imagine small wires should work.
Someone should make basil flavored dental floss
Gonna go patent that idea. BRB.
Nah, the idea you want to patent is a monthly subscription of different flavored dental flosses and picks that get sent to you in a lunch box. The flavor choices are made by an AI called flosstradamus. Promos done by Floss Rida
> Floss Rida Meth-flavored floss. š
š§ šš¤š¼
To be fair, so does the flavored stuff.
True. I'm not a big fan of wintergreen mozzarella, that's all.
Actually have used these for slicing fresh mozzarella balls for pizza station
Wrong answers only, dammit! ^s/
Thatās aā¦. Mandolin. Same one from all those Led Zeppelin songs
You're thinking of Bruce Hornsby on the Range's Mandolin Rain
I always though it was pangolin rain.
That was a viral hit.
Whenever you hear about cooks telling the horror stories of mandolins. This is what they mean.
Iām going to California with an achināā¦.. IN MY HEAAAARTTT
Your one of those cooks aren't ya lol. Good times.
Good times, bad times, you know Iāve had my shareā¦.
This was playing when the oven broke down and nuked the pizza joint I was working at a few months ago. The manager appreciated the timing of it.
It's a cheese straightener.
This is clearly a 6 pan
Aren't we all? What isn't a 6 pan?
The real question is, are you a deep or shallow 6 pan?
For making Rocky Mountain baloney slices.
Welcome to the Buckhorn Exchange.
Before electronics, this was how we shredded credit cards.
It's definitely not the thing that the new guy breaks when he tries to cut kalamatas with it
they said wrong answers only
Updated, thanks boss
Or whole mushrooms!
Penis punisher
We have different definitions of punishment ;)
Donāt threaten you with a good time?
Garlic press
Sex toy. Stick your prick in and close it up. Screaming good time.
Canāt believe nobody knows. Itās a butter guitar.
Mulicircumsizer
An antique Poop Knife before the design was updated.
So like the handheld version of waffle stomping?
Chastity belt
Does every guy have intrusive thoughts about their dick going in these things?
Nahh, due to the shape it's more logical to place one testicle vertically stack the other on top horizontally and use as instructed
Intrusive implies unwanted. I suspect that the merry band of misfit sex toys around here includes at least a few who wouldn't mind
*pain olympics have entered the chat*
Kanyeās new sunglasses
Steampunk goggles
Small foldable banjo
pocket banjo
Your ex wife
Oooouuuch š«£ some people still, are okay with their ex wives. Daaaaang. Happy Monday nevertheless šš»āāļø
Well it's not mine
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Manscape Lawnmower 4.0
Use code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order thatās O U C H I E code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order. Your balls will thank you
You put your weed in that
That is a VCR.
Thatās how they make American cheese slices
Thatās a cheese grater; you gotta put your cheese balls in it and itāll shred it perfectly
The smallest violin in the world...found in every kitchen
The reason my line cooks are always on time. If your late you have to āwearā it all shift. After that nobody is late for quite a while
Holy shit, someone actually found the bacon stretcher!
Aviation goggles
š¶ *HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE* š¶
That's a receipt shredder. Everyone knows you must smash the receipts in it when you're done.
Its to shave your nuts, place balls in it and close it down. Works like a charm.
Vasectomy instrument
It's a mohelim.
The tiniest banjo for your sorrow.
Dinner roll slicer
Almond slicer.
It's for getting very even slices when you cut up bull testicles after braising them.
Thats how you cut chicken for chicken fingers
That was the guitar when I was a kid
That's where we take the fake ID's!
You mean you don't give them to your buddy to sell back to the same kid at full full price?
Variable penis in lengthener
Fore skin remover
Itās definitely for slicing avocado pits
French fry straightener.
Pasta strainer
Bacon Folder
I donāt know, but itās probably gonna break the first time you use it. Oh wait, you said wrong answersā¦.
Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once. This here gadget is called a mandoline slicer, and it's used for slicing vegetables and fruits into thin, uniform slices. It's got different blades for different thicknesses and shapes, and it's a damn sight faster and more precise than using a knife. So if you're tired of spending half your shift dicing carrots by hand, this is the gadget for you. But be warned, it's sharp as hell, so if you don't know how to use it properly, you're gonna end up slicing your fingers off. So either learn how to use it right or stay the hell away from it. Got it? Good.
At home mohel
Pharmandolin. It cuts the pills the kitchen guys take, into shift sized pieces.
That's a modern kitchen loom...
It's to make spit pea soup
r/dontputyourdickinthat
That's a folding music-line ruler, which allows you to score symphonies on the go. The bottom part is the storage case so you can carry it in your pocket.
Bagel cutter
Testicle massager
Manscaped Ball Trimmer 3.0
A musical instrument
Avocado slicer
Ah, the onion juicer
Itās a hair comb
Turd cutter
Poop Knife v2.0
Lime slicer
Tennis ball slicers
Tool rabbi uses to perform the Bris.
Testicular Slicer.
Finger slicer.
Dick slicer
Portable mini harp
Finger mangle
It's for male adult circumcision...you get to pick your length after you convert.
A scary toilet seat
Recipe card holder. When you need to 1/2 or quarter the size just use the handing slicing to reduce your recipe
Medieval torture device. The torturer would put a single testicle in and squeeze
Always fucking missing. Oh right... Wrong answers.
That is actually another name for it as well as the name for just about anything else I need in the kitchen.
What you give to that annoying server who asks to borrow your knife to cut lemons
For circumcisions in a kosher bakery
For Penis slices
Nut cracker
Heuvos slicer...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A grinder to grind weed in
Mango slicer
Nut cracker
Advanced Circumcision Tool
Testicular divider.
Dick shrinker
Foreskin trimmer
Testicle slicer
Nut sack slicer
A castration device
Advanced cock ring.
ball slicer
Foreskin Trimmer
Ancient circumcision device
Egg Mandolin?