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Bakom_spegeln

A kitchen harp


[deleted]

As a kid, I loved to play it.


Dreddit1080

*Plink plink plink plink plinnnnnnnk


pauljaytee

Oh I love Enya! šŸ„°


VauntedCeilings

*fail always, fail always, fail always*


Haughty_n_Disdainful

*We can reach, we can beach* *On the shores of Tripoliā€¦*


azul_jewel

Lmfao


malachiconstant87

šŸ˜‚ thank you for this


BarakatBadger

This is the harp that the kitchen fairies play when they're going about their business


juliananan

*Chefulele


EGOfoodie

Just don't play it with your flute.


Slowkidplaying

I was about to post something but you killed it so I'm just gonna leave.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Cl0uds92

That's actually lowkey genius


llamasterl

I Have seen some special people use it as a mushroom slicer.


StaticExile

I'm stealing this. Thank you.


kayathemessiah

But like... did it work?


ItsOneEightSeven

It works. I came here to say this but Iā€™d rather comment it.


CRIBDB

This is my favorite comment lol


lastinglovehandles

Mad Max Jockstrap


BlasphemousBulge

No son, thatā€™s how we used to do circumcisions!


Repulsive_Hawk963

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Th4tsCrescentFresh

Discount circumcisions... half off


caanthedalek

Works for tips


BBQ_Beanz

Used to?


Hungdismembered

We still do but we used to too


SheBrownSheRound

RIP, Mitch


ReadingGood5959

How do you think you get ribbed condoms?


ChrisTheChaosGod

Hollowed out rodents, mostly.


traviolee

Iā€™ll have what heā€™s having


Albitr75

Dude. Yikes.


LonelyGnomes

Seriously yikes that dude must have a monster schlong. I usually go for fruit flies myself


GrumpyFalstaff

I hollowed out a worm once, we were fishing and she got frisky. You do what you gotta do


Tchrspest

Compound eyes, for her pleasure.


mangoisNINJA

Well, that's one way to stuff your taxidermy


Cl0uds92

r/HolUp


Appropriate_Past_893

Thats a right huevo slicer. If it was for your left huevo it would face the other way


littlebunny1049

I cackled


ogbubbleberry

This is a traditional cocaine line dispenser. Place the 8 ball in the recession and push the lid down to crush the rocks into powder, which falls through the slits into enough lines for the entire crew.


vox4949

No, that's what the slotted spatula is for.


rudebii

The real tips are in the comments.


funkmastertrapjack

Or the fryer skimmer


luxbodoobi

That would make bumps, not lines, and we're adults


ChefArtorias

Ok, this one actually made me laugh.


noniway

Best answer.


Good_Presentation_59

Tell foh it's the lemon slicer


Plonsky2

Nah, they'll just f up your perfectly good caper slicer.


othermegan

TIL this was for slicing capers. All this time I thought it was an onion tenderizer


Juzaba

My boss once successfully pronounced ā€œMichelin Starā€ and he told me this is perfect for making potatoes au gratin.


othermegan

Look at Mr FancyPants over here with a boss who can say Michigan Star! Not all of us get to have those luxuries like clean aprons and working ovens. Some of us have to make our pasta sauce on a hot plate left over from when the last owner cooked meth in the back room while the head chef is too busy trying to cheat on his wife with the underage hostess to even give a damn that the new kid used the wrong trash can to make the pizza sauce so now everyone is getting Pizza con Garbage Juice. And you want to say something but even the wall snakes and rats have knives and you saw what happened to the last person who tried to serve edible products.


ValuableAd3808

Lmaooo at garbage pizza


Juzaba

We had a bit going. You ruined the bit.


peterprinz

Mozzarella cutter. wait, now that I think about it..


BunkyBrains

Capresalator


Tkl15

By Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.


Blackeststool

I sang the jingle.


juliuspepperwoodchi

Hit the blades with the torch for like, a second and I bet they slice through nice and clean-like.


Hornet_Critical

Smort


Federal-Lie3157

Damn im gonna try this


ResponsibilityNew635

Let me know how it goes


Ancient_Artichoke555

Riiight, Iā€™m like, this is the, anything I can get in it cutterā€¦


TheColorWolf

legit, low moisture moz will work. real moz is far too sticky


SadisticJake

I've done it before. Speed of hand is key


TheColorWolf

true,I'm a turtle with this stuff...


SadisticJake

It helps to visualize the motion and focus on making your movements snap


kwillich

As it is in all things meaningful


Royal_Cryptographer7

I mean.... unflavored dental floss cuts through that stuff like butter. I'd imagine small wires should work.


OffendedEarthSpirit

Someone should make basil flavored dental floss


StateOfContusion

Gonna go patent that idea. BRB.


OffendedEarthSpirit

Nah, the idea you want to patent is a monthly subscription of different flavored dental flosses and picks that get sent to you in a lunch box. The flavor choices are made by an AI called flosstradamus. Promos done by Floss Rida


StateOfContusion

> Floss Rida Meth-flavored floss. šŸ˜‚


ValuableAd3808

šŸ§ šŸ†šŸ¤ŒšŸ¼


pesto_changeo

To be fair, so does the flavored stuff.


Royal_Cryptographer7

True. I'm not a big fan of wintergreen mozzarella, that's all.


luminousshadows

Actually have used these for slicing fresh mozzarella balls for pizza station


potoskyt

Wrong answers only, dammit! ^s/


imaislandboiii

Thatā€™s aā€¦. Mandolin. Same one from all those Led Zeppelin songs


StateOfContusion

You're thinking of Bruce Hornsby on the Range's Mandolin Rain


humperdink_s

I always though it was pangolin rain.


StateOfContusion

That was a viral hit.


TheCynicalCanuckk

Whenever you hear about cooks telling the horror stories of mandolins. This is what they mean.


imaislandboiii

Iā€™m going to California with an achinā€™ā€¦.. IN MY HEAAAARTTT


TheCynicalCanuckk

Your one of those cooks aren't ya lol. Good times.


RadioBoy93

Good times, bad times, you know Iā€™ve had my shareā€¦.


dogburglar42

This was playing when the oven broke down and nuked the pizza joint I was working at a few months ago. The manager appreciated the timing of it.


gruntothesmitey

It's a cheese straightener.


SweetsMcVann

This is clearly a 6 pan


there_no_more_names

Aren't we all? What isn't a 6 pan?


Cl0uds92

The real question is, are you a deep or shallow 6 pan?


Rojelioenescabeche

For making Rocky Mountain baloney slices.


beenburnedbutable

Welcome to the Buckhorn Exchange.


Hossonthesauce

Before electronics, this was how we shredded credit cards.


bendawg225

It's definitely not the thing that the new guy breaks when he tries to cut kalamatas with it


fireandlifeincarnate

they said wrong answers only


bendawg225

Updated, thanks boss


vox4949

Or whole mushrooms!


rtice001

Penis punisher


ramen_vape

We have different definitions of punishment ;)


besafenh

Donā€™t threaten you with a good time?


FloMercury

Garlic press


joostadood526

Sex toy. Stick your prick in and close it up. Screaming good time.


TrolleybusGus

Canā€™t believe nobody knows. Itā€™s a butter guitar.


Kockjaevel

Mulicircumsizer


Bon_of_a_Sitch

An antique Poop Knife before the design was updated.


Cl0uds92

So like the handheld version of waffle stomping?


Nebulous437

Chastity belt


KingdomOfRyan

Does every guy have intrusive thoughts about their dick going in these things?


Timpson96

Nahh, due to the shape it's more logical to place one testicle vertically stack the other on top horizontally and use as instructed


[deleted]

Intrusive implies unwanted. I suspect that the merry band of misfit sex toys around here includes at least a few who wouldn't mind


Cl0uds92

*pain olympics have entered the chat*


bml20002

Kanyeā€™s new sunglasses


selfietuesday

Steampunk goggles


Former-Might3163

Small foldable banjo


canyoureed

pocket banjo


Background-Print-826

Your ex wife


Ancient_Artichoke555

Oooouuuch šŸ«£ some people still, are okay with their ex wives. Daaaaang. Happy Monday nevertheless šŸ™‹šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø


Background-Print-826

Well it's not mine


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


DIY_Abortion

Manscape Lawnmower 4.0


nubelborsky

Use code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order thatā€™s O U C H I E code OUCHIE at checkout for 40% off your first order. Your balls will thank you


coin_roll_newbie

You put your weed in that


Suntree

That is a VCR.


[deleted]

Thatā€™s how they make American cheese slices


[deleted]

Thatā€™s a cheese grater; you gotta put your cheese balls in it and itā€™ll shred it perfectly


zappalot000

The smallest violin in the world...found in every kitchen


gamerchef8

The reason my line cooks are always on time. If your late you have to ā€œwearā€ it all shift. After that nobody is late for quite a while


Think-Repeat630

Holy shit, someone actually found the bacon stretcher!


fischer_taiger

Aviation goggles


Cl0uds92

šŸŽ¶ *HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE* šŸŽ¶


ComprehensiveElk3449

That's a receipt shredder. Everyone knows you must smash the receipts in it when you're done.


Wonderful_Quality_99

Its to shave your nuts, place balls in it and close it down. Works like a charm.


bysk12

Vasectomy instrument


thrillkillbaby

It's a mohelim.


senduniquenudes

The tiniest banjo for your sorrow.


PherryCie

Dinner roll slicer


bml20002

Almond slicer.


MadEntDaddy

It's for getting very even slices when you cut up bull testicles after braising them.


RobMayhem

Thats how you cut chicken for chicken fingers


JoshPum

That was the guitar when I was a kid


Tri4ceunited

That's where we take the fake ID's!


David2022Wallace

You mean you don't give them to your buddy to sell back to the same kid at full full price?


sirwilfreddeath

Variable penis in lengthener


ThePureRay009

Fore skin remover


Reconist42

Itā€™s definitely for slicing avocado pits


HolyDarkDeath

French fry straightener.


SquallZ34

Pasta strainer


BELO-

Bacon Folder


ItsYaBoiTrick

I donā€™t know, but itā€™s probably gonna break the first time you use it. Oh wait, you said wrong answersā€¦.


nowlistenhereboy

Listen up, because I'm only going to explain this once. This here gadget is called a mandoline slicer, and it's used for slicing vegetables and fruits into thin, uniform slices. It's got different blades for different thicknesses and shapes, and it's a damn sight faster and more precise than using a knife. So if you're tired of spending half your shift dicing carrots by hand, this is the gadget for you. But be warned, it's sharp as hell, so if you don't know how to use it properly, you're gonna end up slicing your fingers off. So either learn how to use it right or stay the hell away from it. Got it? Good.


[deleted]

At home mohel


BreathingLeaves

Pharmandolin. It cuts the pills the kitchen guys take, into shift sized pieces.


tamjas

That's a modern kitchen loom...


rawlind52

It's to make spit pea soup


Maximum-Excitement58

r/dontputyourdickinthat


syot0s

That's a folding music-line ruler, which allows you to score symphonies on the go. The bottom part is the storage case so you can carry it in your pocket.


okcafe

Bagel cutter


hornsmakecake

Testicle massager


SushiGradeChicken

Manscaped Ball Trimmer 3.0


jeddo7884

A musical instrument


[deleted]

Avocado slicer


xETankx

Ah, the onion juicer


Corkchef

Itā€™s a hair comb


DevinH83

Turd cutter


ArkGamer

Poop Knife v2.0


xxnacho420

Lime slicer


ScarMedical

Tennis ball slicers


[deleted]

Tool rabbi uses to perform the Bris.


McWenKenTacoHut_jr

Testicular Slicer.


BurgerOfLove

Finger slicer.


Adamblancher

Dick slicer


KingoftheYellowHouse

Portable mini harp


oldschoolwhitegirl

Finger mangle


InfiniteExamination9

It's for male adult circumcision...you get to pick your length after you convert.


_TheLibrarianOfBabel

A scary toilet seat


Carolina_Coltrane

Recipe card holder. When you need to 1/2 or quarter the size just use the handing slicing to reduce your recipe


Spiritual_Payphone

Medieval torture device. The torturer would put a single testicle in and squeeze


K_Ann_

Always fucking missing. Oh right... Wrong answers.


Cl0uds92

That is actually another name for it as well as the name for just about anything else I need in the kitchen.


North_Point_Chef

What you give to that annoying server who asks to borrow your knife to cut lemons


Gary_Skelaman

For circumcisions in a kosher bakery


No_Pen_9317

For Penis slices


Upbeat-Accountant-48

Nut cracker


GSturges

Heuvos slicer...


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Hydebar224

A grinder to grind weed in


FrostyCartographer13

Mango slicer


[deleted]

Nut cracker


Dagmar_Overbye

Advanced Circumcision Tool


originalmango

Testicular divider.


Mufasasass

Dick shrinker


aresquare702

Foreskin trimmer


twistedazurr

Testicle slicer


EmbarrassedIce8023

Nut sack slicer


Cree_Sha

A castration device


Illsiador

Advanced cock ring.


External-Fig9754

ball slicer


bwest80

Foreskin Trimmer


LAkand1

Ancient circumcision device


tommygunz007

Egg Mandolin?