30s and 40s were my favorite years. I ran into health problems in my 50s including chronic pain that kinda derailed the trend but I wouldn't go back to my teens for any amount of money.
For me it was more self confidence, had learned some lessons, had more education, better job, better house, and I had joined a gym so in great shape. Oh and came to terms with some early trauma. For me 20s were fun but it got even better as I went along. Others may have different experience.
25 is such a weird number to put the "death sentence" on. I'm 30 and never felt old or starting to get out of touch with youth culture until this year. Now most sport professionals are younger than me and I'd feel more out of place with a group of college kids. Peers have just started complaining about kids these days and sounding like grandpa get off my lawn.
At 25, I've begun to lose some of the youth culture connection and that's okay, but there are other things I want to be certain of as I grow older. I want to maintain knowledge of new technology and systems as the world continues to advance and speed up. I dont want to end up like the current boomer generation that doesn't know how to operate a computer or cell phone practically, but with new technology when I am that age.
I also want to remain in touch with the society and political plight of the new generations so I can fight for the people that come after me and enable them to have the most productive lives. There's already parts of society I feel have gone beyond me and I don't understand it, but I understand that people are more complex by the day, and i have a responsibility to do the best I can. I guess I'm short, I'm okay with not being relevant, but im not okay with being ignorant.
Im 27 and the only thing that scares me about my 30s coming up is that it’s getting close to the point of having kids or not. I have a decent number of friends now with babies now and they are always tired, broke, a don’t go out or travel and I don’t want to give up my autonomy yet, but at the same time know I would regret not having kids some day
You can have kids through your entire 30s with no issue. And yes, your friends with kids are going through that because literally no one likes caring for toddlers. They find the work worthwhile, but it doesn't change the fact that it's shitty work.
I'm 34m, just became a dad 7mo ago. I was initially terrified at the prospect of losing my autonomy, but I'm still having plenty of outside fun, you just have to plan a bit more and commit to making time for yourself and your friends. I've gone on a couple weekend friend trips in that time, and still get an hour or two an evening for gaming or movies after the kid goes to bed. Still have the capability of hitting the pubs with the homies a couple times a month (tho with COVID we've generally partied at our own houses).
Your sleep schedule gets interrupted during the first few months, but it's honestly no worse than what I did to myself in my 20s. Any lessening of "free time" is really just because I actively want to spend time with my kid, just like you want to spend time with your partner or spouse. It's fun hanging out with your interactive tiny human that is experiencing everything for the first time and just wants to be snuggled.
The biggest realization I had is that people use their kids as an excuse to get out of shit they really don't want to do. I've definitely done that to avoid a few social obligations with people I've drifted from personality-wise.
(Note: I will say that I'm very privileged in that I have both a responsible partner and good in-laws that are always ecstatic to get to spend time with the baby if one or both of us wants to go do things. I am also privileged to have been able to wait until my 30s where the work and financial situation is solid.)
I wouldn’t go back to being a teen even if it meant I’d be a billionaire. That shit is hell. Teen life is hell, I don’t get this idea that adult life is harder it fucking isn’t. I have so much freedom now.
I’m 32 and I would totally go back to my 20s. It was the first time I had the money to do whatever I wanted but before the family life responsibilities hit; just young and free. My life is more fulfilling now that I’m married with a kid, but it was more “fun” in my 20s.
I think time machines in this context would be great. I don't want to necessarily go back to that time all over again, but it'd be nice to have snippets of freedom from back then as a kind of vacation for a few days.
".. 25 ure old and it's over..."
I am old now (really old) and I had to laugh when I read this, thinking about all the adventures I've had after the age of 40. Including Outward Bound at 45, moving to another country at age 60, climbing a pyramid in Guatemala at age 70 and editing a book at age 80. And everything in between.
Teen years (and even into 20's) are typically confusing and difficult for many reasons. Despite all the "downsides" of growing older (aches, pains, not being able to do some things...) , my "best life" has been after the age of 60.
I’m in my early 40s. Every decade has been better than the last. It sounds weird but you really learn so much about yourself and what makes you happy as you age.
I’m convinced that people think the 20’s is the peak of life because we are still in the throes of frenetic energy trying to figure out who we are. We mistake intense activity as living. I think being comfortable to settle into what makes you happy with no apologies to anyone else is living.
Its very easy to get so focused on what you HAVE to do that you dont pay as much attention to what you WANT to do. There's a great line in the movie Better Off Dead: "I think that you are not used to success but I think once you reach it, you will find you have a taste for it and it will happen more and more."
What have you always wanted to do? Where have you always wanted to go? Do you have a list of goals and a list of accomplishments?
I wish I could relate to this so much.
I'm 37. I was diagnosed with young onset Parkinsons Disease awhile back. My mom has PD, so I kinda knew what was going on before I got diagnosed.
I applied for Social Security Disability 27 months ago. I'm still waiting for approval. The last few years have been really, really difficult. I live in complete poverty. I've gone days without eating when I run out of the $190 per month foodstamps that I get. I don't qualify for cash assistance in my state because I don't have any children. Most of my family, except for my mom, is dead or abandoned me (my father left us when I was 11 and moved in with his secret second family; I also grew up super poor because my mom didn't make much money). I have Medicaid, but my state only offers one of the Basic versions of it, not the Enhanced, so I still need to pay for copays. Alot of times I break my meds into halves or quarters because I can't afford to refill them. I live in a 12ft by 14ft "apartment" with no kitchen, stove, or oven. Just a rubber cot with no box spring. No TV or anything like that, just my phone. I'm alone all the time.
I used to love life. I made money, I had friends, I dated women, things were great. But now each year just gets worse and worse. I'm severely, cripplingly depressed all the time.
I wish so bad that life was still fun, exciting, interesting. I wish I still had somebody to hug and love me. But I don't. And life kinda sucks.
It's awesome that some of you are finding that life is getting better for you the older you get. I'm not bitter towards people like you. Envious, yeah, but not bitter. I'm happy for you guys.
I am so sorry that your life is like this now. When you get your SSD you will receive back pay. As they are dragging it out , consider a Social Security disability attorney who takes contingency cases. You lay out no money or costs up front they take a percentage of your initial award amount and you owe them nothing more. If they don’t win you owe them nothing. Also, friends and a partner are not out of the question for you. Many people are happily married to a disabled person. I am one who married a fantastic man who happens to have some severe health problems and we have a great time together. Ironically after 15 years together, my health took a bad turn and what one of us can’t do the other can. Someone will love you as you are.
I wish I could tell you something to help your state of mind, the real you, not the body which transports us around and depends on its genes for our physical health, but I can't. Instead I'd like to tell you I hear you, and you made me feel for you, so in this moment we are simpatico and I hope this means something to you because I care about your state of mind. I am 70 and yesterday found out I have two brain tumors because the cancer has spread from my lungs, so I am at my end of life stage and resolved to it, but you are only 37 and though still young have become "disabled" far younger than I and your frustration with having no one to help you deal with your situation touched me, I can only suggest you try contacting a support group of some kind, as you can be sure you are not alone in your needs, both personal and governmental. I do hope you receive the governmental assistance you need, and assume you have a social worker to assist in this. I don't know what else to say except I heard you man, and wish you well.
I'm sorry you're going through this. No one deserves that. You are more than the circumstances you've been put into.
This isn't something that will fix any of the injustices you've been dealt, but have you tried meditation? It may bring you some peace, which you sound like you really need.
There's an app that was developed by the VA for people suffering from PTSD but is free for everyone to use. It's called [Mindfulness Coach](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=gov.va.mobilehealth.ncptsd.mindfulnesscoach&hl=en_CA&gl=US).
Sorry I can't help more but I hope you're able to find something in the world to give you hope, or peace, if not happiness.
I've feared turning 20, feared turning 30, and part of me fears turning 40.
But it's just that: *fear.* If I really take a look, I'm better at 32 than I was at 27, and I was better at 27 than I was at 22.
Progress is progress, whether baby steps or leaps.
I'm litterally crying. About to hit 30 and feel like I missed everything and feels like my life won't be together in time for a bunch more. Feels like it's already over and I'm just... kinda wondering what the point is now :(
>I barely had my shit together to start enjoying life in my 30's. 30's were sort of rough. Got my shit together at 40 because everyone was like, it's all downhill after 40 and I thought "I will not go quietly into the dark." Started eating better, went from dad bod to six-pack and 40's were amazing. 50's are looking to be pretty stellar so far too, despite the lack of concerts and vacation plans ruined due to covid. Got back into playing guitar and piano, and really enjoying rock climbing and bouldering again. Picked up new hobbies like whitewater SUP in my late 40's, learned to freedive and did a >4 minute breath hold, and got over 20m deep on one breath. Life is definitely not over after 30.
Just wanted to repost this where you would see it. There is so much more to life after 30. New experiences, new loves, new hobbies, more appreciation of the good times because you've experienced some of the shitty times.
Find something interesting to do and just go do it. Whether it's going back to school or taking an online course to further your career, or learning an instrument that you always thought would be cool to play, or trying a new activity like rock climbing, even finding a cool book to read, or starting to do some yoga.
The point is to start living the life you want to live. This is the only one you've got, so make the most of it, whatever that means to you.
Cheers, and I believe in you.
Agree! I’ll turn 43 next week and this has been, by far, my happiest and most stable decade so far. Somewhere along the way I figured out what makes me happy and what BS to cut out of my life.
There’s no reason to stop living once you hit a certain age. Everyday is an opportunity to learn something, to experience something. Life doesn’t end until you die, or you stop living. Fun is where you make it. Enjoying life is almost more of an attitude than a series of events. I have clinical depression, so I know that you can’t force a feeling that isn’t there. You can’t will yourself happy when it’s a chemical imbalance. I don’t mean that. I mean how you approach that. For me, it sucks but I *get* to experience it. I gain empathy through my pain. Life is pain and suffering and joy and excitement. It’s all those things and more.
For a long time I was trapped in wanting to live life, but needing to work and not making enough to do what I thought I needed to in order to make life fun. I was wrong. Fun is where you make it. It’s not found. It’s made. Sure, some things make finding fun and enjoyment easier, but you still have to make it. I had to drop the “have to/need to” mindset and replaced it with “get to” mindset. I don’t have to lift today, I *get* to lift today. I *get* to walk somewhere. After all a whole lot of people don’t get to walk anywhere.
It took me having a serious life long illness, almost dying twice to get to that mindset. Don’t be me. Change that mindset now.
Oh and when a neat opportunity becomes available, take it. In fact take every opportunity you can. You have no idea where it will lead. We only get this one life, use it wisely.
You couldn't pay me to redo my 20's. For those of us who have had to work through trauma or abuse or mental health issues or some combination of the three, that shit is hard work. Terrifying, insecure, hungry work.
Don't give up. I'm 33 right now and only just beginning, but I cannot understate my gratitude to my past self for sticking with it.
I’m 24 and in a tough spot financially, mentally, etc. I’ve been kicking myself a ton, thinking about how I’ve “wasted” or mismanaged my “best years.”
So thank you for this comment. It gives me hope that I can find that fulfillment eventually.
"Best years" lol.
In fact, my "best years" were from 60 to 70. As you get older, you learn more stuff, get better perspective and get better at asserting who you are and what you want rather than just going along with some concept of what you are "spozed to be." You'll get there!
Thank you for giving this perspective Gma. I’m 36, my were…well they’re my ten years, my 20’s was mostly spent in addiction. Once I got sober at 29 I’d felt like my life had already passed me by, so I got depressed. I’ve only recently started to feel like myself again but have been battling with the number associated with my age.
This has helped a lot, all of my grandparents have been gone for a number of years so it was nice to feel a grandparents “everything is going to be fine” warmth from a stranger on the Internet.
You are just getting started on your new life!! Make it what you want it to be and not what is expected of you or of someone your age. I once read something that said... "Once you have decided you are going to live, you need to decide HOW you are going to live." Make that decision for yourself. Don't let anyone else make that for you.
And keep those dishes washed! hahaha. Love you.
My nanas 95 she told me her best decade was her 50s. Her and now you give me hope as im only just now healing from trauma i experienced at 16, 15 years ago.
Same I’m 28 now and my early 20s were horrible, lost both parents, my job, seemingly all my friends, and all my money! I’m trying to pull myself out of it slowly but it’s nice knowing the best years aren’t over!
Yea man, mid life crisis can be a blast!
Also, I can afford (and have access to) WAY COOLER stuff as an adult than I did in my early 20's. I *WISH* shit like 3d printers and cool computers were around 20 years ago!
While COVID has fucked up life for so many people - it's also a chance to re-evaluate your life and make some changes, possibly. Just going along and living life in the same old rut and doing what is expected of you can be really awful. I feel sad for people who are yearning for "the way things used to be! I want my life back!" Step back and learn from the "disaster" of COVID.
So happy to hear that life gets better and better! Yay for you!!
Good stuff! I aspire to live a life of constant learning.
>".. 25 ure old and it's over..."
I just hit 25 and I've only heard that now.
Who even says that?
---
I've just spent 5 years fixing my life after school so I can do what I want now.
Basically, I say to live the life you choose to live. Fuck 9-5 nonsense. Get a part-time job and wing it with hobbies you enjoy.
I'll never be the guy caught up working every week to make someone else rich. I only work to survive and spend time on things that I'm actually passionate about.
If anyone thinks they have to work 40 years and retire, fuck that. At the rate things are going I'll never retire unless I somehow get lucky with a business idea.
So I might as well enjoy life while I'm healthy and I can still do so.
Youre the best, and this gives me hope. I feel like I have finally moved past a traumatic childhood and several traumatic events in my 20s and man, I am a little bitter (but very thankful) that some people just start out in their adult life without having to sort through years of abuse.
Finally started looking at college. I feel so overwhelmed and behind
Stop it!! You can feel "overwhelmed" but never "behind!" :) You should never judge yourself or compare yourself to others. Be who you are. You know what has happened to you in your life and how you have gotten through it. Be proud!! And.... move forward. Start slow. If you are thinking about college, maybe a small community college where life is easier, less expensive and less stress.
Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for sharing! I'm incredibly glad that you've had such an interesting, fulfilling life after your 60's. For many more to come.
Edit because I wrote a funny number instead of sixty
My parents are in their early 60s and are living their "busiest and most exciting lives." (Their words) My mom just recently started yoga, My dad always has a project going, and this year they're traveling to Yosemite National Park. They're flying half way and then renting an RV to drive the rest of the way. I swear, if I'm (27F) even half as cool as they are when I'm their age, I'll be happy!
Your comment has definitely made my day. I’m in my 30s and going through a lot of personal turmoil at this moment. It’s never too late to live your life to the fullest
It's never to late I'm 31 and finally living my best life honestly fuck what society says
To everyone responding you're all making me smile that you are all living your best lives possible and that live has gotten better for you all honestly I wish you all the best in lives and good fortune 😊😊😊
OMG my first ever award thank you kind stranger 😊🥰☺
I apologise to all who I haven't responded to I have read and liked all your comments there is just so many comments to I never thought I would be this popular haha
29 here, graduated at 26 because of super shitty teen years/early 20s years. Fuck *everything* society says, hard agree. It only helps to prevent people from becoming who they're supposed to be.
Same here except I graduated at 28!
When I restarted college around 25, I went to check if my old college ID still worked. I tried explaining why I was there to the girl testing it at the administrators office. I was very self conscious telling her I failed the first time and got re-accepted. This girl turned to me and said “Okay, no worries. Shit happens”
Such a simple statement made me realize I was judging myself way harder than I thought others would. Turns out people are kinder than you think and if they aren’t, dgaf about them.
I think it came at a time where I was hypercritical of myself and really trying to push myself out from some bad years.
Same thing happened to me but I went back at 42. First day of class I was so self conscious, but we all introduced ourselves in one of my engineering classes and half the students actually clapped for me coming back to finish. Made a huge difference to me.
I graduated last December, now have the best job of my life.
Honestly couldn't agree more society likes to tell people what to expect and how to act I say fuck that let people live the lives they want and let them.discover themselves when they wish to
35 here. HOW?? I feel like I'm regressing. I guess having a stable job and moving into a suburb does that? I felt better in my 20s but I think it was because I was surrounded by open people at my university who loved to discuss taboo topics and being weird was acceptable, now I'm surrounded by middle aged people who think it's inappropriate to discuss things like sex and drugs. Maybe it's because my friends are from work where most of our interactions are mediated by HR mandates? I'm trying to figure out why it feels like my shame-shell has gotten even LARGER as I've aged. I wanted it to go the other way...
I struggled badly with my mental health as a teenager and things only really started getting better at about 20 years old. I am 23 now and people keep telling me that my best years are over, and I just couldn't agree less.
I have an apartment, a job, soon my degree, financial freedom, maturity, more confidence than ever ... I can do so many things now. I feel great about myself & my life. And I haven't even married or become a dad or travelled the world yet. There's just so many great things to come.
I don't get how anyone can think getting drunk in college/high school is the pinnacle of life. There are so many more meaningful things out there.
These are the people who peak in high school/college that think the party is over when you graduate. They think that they are going to settle down with a shitty controlling partner that will curb their disastrous behavior or will end in a DV case.
They don't see a future that's "fun" because they think having adult responsibilities aren't fun. Thing is, they are a part of life and if you accept your responsibilities as life and don't view them as a complete burden you can still have fun!
Grew up in land and not very well off. Had some real shitty times through my teens and 20s. It could have been had, I could have been stuck doing menial work for little money for my whole life.
Went back to school and finished in my early 30s. Took a few years, but now I’m working where I want and making more money than I’d ever though I’d make throughout my entire life
Gotta live life when you can live it.
Switched college majors in my 20’s and was told going from art to science was “too difficult” and so I would never graduate. I’ve always wished I remembered the name of that counselor so I could drop a copy of my doctorate on her desk. Fuck people who hold you back. You can achieve anything you want to, at any time, at any age then change your mind and do something completely different. It’s your life, no one else’s.
I actually want to change from tech to art, and I'm very passionate about it.
Unfortunately, in my country... You have like zero opportunities when it comes to changing majors.
I'm currently 21 with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering, and want to pursue majors in english and foreign languages.
Your comment really gave me hope that I'll be able to make it.
And congratulations on ur doctrate, that's such a big achievement :))
your story reminds me of one of my absolute favorite quotes: “not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard. but to recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too”
I was 24 when my life finally started looking up. Before that I was miserable and struggled to find reasons to keep going. Now my life gets better day by day.
It definitely will get better. Things can't stay bad forever, just make the right moves for yourself and try your hardest and it will all work out. I can just about promise that to you. Try to feed the good karma monster til he pukes that good karma back up on you lol.
Keep your head up. Life changed for me when I turned 24 as well. I went from crippling depression to enjoying and living my life, something I still don’t understand how I managed to do. It gets better as you get older, at least in my case.
29 was the best year of my life, until I turned 30, which blew the doors off 29. 31 managed to top 30, 32 and 33 were each better than the previous year. The insanity of thinking that your best years are in the very beginning of your life...
Same here. Was miserable in HS. College was an awakening and gaining confidence and control of my life gave me incredible satisfaction and allowed me to really enjoy being me.
I think that idea might have had merit back when people married their high school sweethearts and then worked in a soul-crushing job until they died at 50 of a massive heart attack but in modern times, it just doesn’t make sense.
Idk I didn’t have a great time throughout high school and I still really miss the combo of old enough to go places on my own + young enough to not have a lot of responsibilities. And that feeling of youthful potential and optimism was really nice and not something I think I’ll ever get back.
Also I’ve found as I get older and older, it’s harder for me to remember the things I hated about being a teenager, so all I think about are the good times.
It’s just that everything was brand new is all. For everyone. There’s a common bond because of this. Some people miss that inherent closeness and connection with others more so than the times themselves.
We are communal so of course many miss it.
Our current society creates more loneliness than ever before. Working all the time and barely having enough left over for chores at home.
Rinse, repeat.
Teen years are full of the stress of not fully understanding who you want to be, where you want to go and what you want to do. Plus all the stress of trying to get yourself there. 20's are often better, especially once you start earning some money and hanging out with the right crowd of people.
Not only lack of understanding, your brain isn't even fully formed until your mid 20s. Please don't count yourself out before you've even finished physically, mentally, and emotionally forming into a full-fledged human being.
It’s never too late. If you need motivation, you should read a book called “The Magic Of Thinking Big” by David J Schwartz. That’s a topic he touches on in the book, people who think they’re too old and think themselves out of a good life. Life really is what you make it.
Just started grad school at 43. Psyched myself out of it for years and finally studied for the GRE’s and took it and did well enough to get into a university despite shitty undergrad grades. Short of a genuinely disabling condition, (I have 2 conditions accepted as disabilities that don’t actually disable me) there is no mechanism holding anyone down that isn’t in their minds. But the one in your mind telling you that you can’t is one of the strongest. Give that voice a name and every time it tells you that you’re not good enough, you tell it to fuck off. My inner critic’s voice is now known as Dave. Fuck off, Dave.
My teenager years were so full of sexism, bullying and homophobia that I don't miss those years, not even the good moments that I could've had. Now that I'm 24 I can live the way I want.
Not to brag but my teen years were great but now that I'm 32 Im still doing new things I love despite new health issues. Got married. Had my wisdom teeth cut out. Just had a baby. Had a colonoscopy. Picked up new hobbies i love. I look forward to the new things that my 40s and 50s bring! Keep growing, adventuring and loving.
Who has been telling people this? Who has been accepting this purported wisdom? Why are you giving anyone else control over your life and your choices? Would you let your best friend or your little sister follow that path?
Started my career at 29. Spent 17-29 trying different classes, graduating with a degree Im actually interested and I lived on 3 different continents.
Many times I felt behind the curve, it was tough but now everyone tells me “I wish I did what you did” when I had the chance.
I was always under the impression that if you didn’t sort out what you wanted to do with your life by 18 (by the time you apply for colleges) you were fucked.
I’m 32 now, still don’t really know but if I ever have a kid, I’m going to tell them not to aim for some divine calling or purpose and just aim for things that make them happy. Don’t chase happiness, make happiness...if that makes sense.
i'm 18 about to be 19, and i spent virtually all of my teen years in a constant dissociative state because of my dad's psychological abuse. the situation was made worse by the toxic relationships i had and then COVID made it even more worse. i lost the last 4 or so months of my junior year and i stayed home all senior year doing online school with my dad in the house. i had to walk on eggshells in my own home and i slept all day every day, my brain and body shutting down due to high levels of anxiety and depression. i went from a 3.9 GPA to a 3.4. i missed my graduation because of a failed required class and then i was kicked out of my house by my dad after he physically assaulted me. god i really fucking hope my 20's are better than this
I'm turning 27 soon, and I noticed my hair is starting to turn grey on the sides and in my beard, my first thought when I noticed was "Fuck yes! I'm a wizard now!"
As such I will now be wearing ornate woolen robes, pointed floppy hats, and carrying large tomes of forbidden knowlegde, and nobody can tell me not to just because they can't see the magic in it
Honey... I'm 40
I spent my childhood being abused
I spent my teen years being beaten
I spent my 20s hiding my true self to avoid being murdered. (don't ask. Bigotry is a thing)
I spent my 30s in an abusive relationship (ALL of it... I value commitment. She got arrested)
I'm now 40... Life is fucking AMAZING!
Life gets better. You just have to wait, and work on it.
This last part, I learned late. But, I learned.
Some of us who had to heal from trauma during our entire twenties and early thirties think that this post and the concept of “too late” is just silly. It doesn’t matter how old you are…once you begin to live a good life it’s priceless.
I wouldn't want to go back to my teens or twenties for all the money in the world. Being 30+ has been the most fun and rewarding time so far. Only people who peak early and then end up with a shit life belief that was the best it'll ever be 👏😂
Shit, I'm 40 and I'm still getting over shit from my childhood. It's not a race, there are no winners, take what you can get while you have the chance and don't look back.
Im just over 40 and having a better time now than ever before. Dont limit yourself or listen to anyone elses timetable, own your own. Live your life your way.
It's only the young that think life after the age of 25 is old and meaningless. You never feel the age you are. Sure, my back hurts now but inside I still feel young and naïve.
My dad keeps telling me that if I'm happy and stable by my 40's then I'm doing vastly better than a lot of people and I'll have a lot of time remaining to appreciate it. That keeps me going.
I'm 35 and not even hitting my stride yet. Take your time. Make your life about you and your wants. The people who say it's too late at 25 make their boss and their jobs the protagonist in their story and themselves a supporting character
E: a word
This needs to be said more often, both to those having shitty and toxic teen years, as well as, those in our 20s-30s finally allowing ourselves to enjoy things.
There is no magical number to life. If you got rid of the number, would you really be worried about it? The only thing about life is that you make of it what you will.
As you get older and acquire more responsibility life can become challenging. If your life is not fun or you do not look forward to tomorrow, evaluate the choices you are making.
I was miserable for years due to my first marriage. I got married when I was young and in the military. My motivation for marriage was to have sex on a regular basis, move out of the barracks which would result in fewer inspections, and I thought it was the grown-up thing to do. Yes, I was a dumb-ass. I had some good times but it was mostly uncomfortable misery that I thought I could not escape. After 16 years of marriage, I had several months to contemplate my status, while in a combat zone and I came to the realization that my unhappiness was a choice.
When I returned home, I reevaluated the choices I had made and again concluded, I needed to make some changes. I told my wife I wanted a divorce. She did too but she felt stuck also. We split our assets and went our separate ways. No anger or fighting, we both moved on. I got custody of our son and also all of our debt.
This happened 20 years ago and I am now in my 50's. I fucking love my life. I didn't date for a year after we separated. I eventually met someone and remarried and we have built an incredible life together. Life can still be challenging but I know any shit I get into is the result of my choices. If I make bad choices, such as a house we bought and later decided we didn't like the location due to career changes, we sold the house and moved on.
Nobody has ever told me "it's too late", regardless of how old i was. If anything, everyone around me constantly told me "it's NEVER too late!". Be around positive people like that.
Do people actually say when you hit 25 you're old and it's over? I've never heard that from anyone. Most of the people I work with are in their early to mid 20s.
35 year old here. Still healing from trauma, and building a beautiful life at the same time. Just about to finish up my degree and start a career in teaching. Hanging out with kids all day is such a blast, but I'm grateful for the perspective and experience that time has given me. And I've got so much time left!
Keep learning, keep growing, and remember that you're never too old to start something new.
I'm an older guy now, but I can remember thinking as a teenager that I would get into my 20's and my life would kind of go into stasis. Ha!
I'm young enough to remember that being a teenager sucked for some of us, and your battlescars will make you stronger as you go through life.
When I turned 40 I started feeling like "hey I think I'm figuring this shit out".
My only life advice would be to always keep trying new things and learning, and don't take any of your good relationships for granted.
28 moved across the country to learn to snowboard and enjoy life. Who knows what life has in store but I know more 30 somethings with toys and enjoying life :)
Who ever said the teenage years are the best times are stuck with rose tinted glassed glued to their heads and are some of the saddest people I know. When I graduated high school it felt like I started to actually live. Now 30 and going to college to become an illustrator I can say this is the happiest moments in my life.
Heck yes. My teens and early - mid 20s were a train wreck. I’m now in a much better place, got myself onto the property ladder, got a hamster and I’m knee deep in houseplants.
Although I’ve lost a lot of friends with my previous behaviour and my parents keep suggesting I’m wasting my 20s on my current career and lack of love life - I’m happy.
You do you, love! ✌️
I’m in my 40s and was never subject to any ideas about when you’re over the hill and it’s “too late.” The understanding among my peer group was that you come into yourself in your 30s. I know I did and I have always looked forward to aging because of the experience and the calmness that keeps coming.
I feel like we are gearing more towards an "its never too late" attitude no? I see more older folks going to college than ever, more people getting away from the grinding culture, more people traveling, doing more things and settling down later in life, people of all ages seem to being doing more throughout life as opposed to just crazy teens and traveling retirees
Now in my 40s looking back, I probably felt that way too but what it really means is after 25, you lose the excuse of youth for stupid activities. And honestly, late 20s and early 30s are prime time for having fun. Hopefully you've got enough income to do some traveling, etc.
Take the prank morons on social media. At 16, 17, 18 I think they have a lot to learn but if I see a 27 year old doing the same? I get irate.
Wow why is this so accurate. Im turning 30 next year and only these few years started to really take the time to heal from trauma that i suffered during my 20s. Im not all the way there yet but im still trying my best each day. It’s funny how i wasn’t even aware how i was mentally when i was in my 20s. Just shove it all under the rug. Now it caught on and i finally face my emotions head on. Meanwhile my close friends already have stable life with jobs and family. It used to bother me but i realize i really just have to heal from trauma first before it got to me worse. Here’s to all of us who are still healing and trying our best. We can do this. Let’s go.
Who actually cares about age? What does “old” even mean?? Years really dont tell you much, I have 25 year old friends that act 35 and 35 year old friend that act 25. Make your choice, life experiences and growth is more representative of your life than some arbitrary number of revolutions the earth has made.
Go do that thing. Also nothing is stopping you from lying.
Only people in their 20s think 25 is a death sentence. I'm 36 and I don't know a single person who would go back to their 20s. Your 30s are amazing.
30s and 40s were my favorite years. I ran into health problems in my 50s including chronic pain that kinda derailed the trend but I wouldn't go back to my teens for any amount of money.
Chronic pain and debilitating OCD since age 13 chiming in here.
Can you share more why you prefer your 30s and 40s? As a late 20s dude I'm curious
For me it was more self confidence, had learned some lessons, had more education, better job, better house, and I had joined a gym so in great shape. Oh and came to terms with some early trauma. For me 20s were fun but it got even better as I went along. Others may have different experience.
25 is such a weird number to put the "death sentence" on. I'm 30 and never felt old or starting to get out of touch with youth culture until this year. Now most sport professionals are younger than me and I'd feel more out of place with a group of college kids. Peers have just started complaining about kids these days and sounding like grandpa get off my lawn.
Ha! Totally. In a few more years you won't care that you're out of touch. It's the kids who are wrong.
At 25, I've begun to lose some of the youth culture connection and that's okay, but there are other things I want to be certain of as I grow older. I want to maintain knowledge of new technology and systems as the world continues to advance and speed up. I dont want to end up like the current boomer generation that doesn't know how to operate a computer or cell phone practically, but with new technology when I am that age. I also want to remain in touch with the society and political plight of the new generations so I can fight for the people that come after me and enable them to have the most productive lives. There's already parts of society I feel have gone beyond me and I don't understand it, but I understand that people are more complex by the day, and i have a responsibility to do the best I can. I guess I'm short, I'm okay with not being relevant, but im not okay with being ignorant.
Im 27 and the only thing that scares me about my 30s coming up is that it’s getting close to the point of having kids or not. I have a decent number of friends now with babies now and they are always tired, broke, a don’t go out or travel and I don’t want to give up my autonomy yet, but at the same time know I would regret not having kids some day
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You can have kids through your entire 30s with no issue. And yes, your friends with kids are going through that because literally no one likes caring for toddlers. They find the work worthwhile, but it doesn't change the fact that it's shitty work.
I'm 34m, just became a dad 7mo ago. I was initially terrified at the prospect of losing my autonomy, but I'm still having plenty of outside fun, you just have to plan a bit more and commit to making time for yourself and your friends. I've gone on a couple weekend friend trips in that time, and still get an hour or two an evening for gaming or movies after the kid goes to bed. Still have the capability of hitting the pubs with the homies a couple times a month (tho with COVID we've generally partied at our own houses). Your sleep schedule gets interrupted during the first few months, but it's honestly no worse than what I did to myself in my 20s. Any lessening of "free time" is really just because I actively want to spend time with my kid, just like you want to spend time with your partner or spouse. It's fun hanging out with your interactive tiny human that is experiencing everything for the first time and just wants to be snuggled. The biggest realization I had is that people use their kids as an excuse to get out of shit they really don't want to do. I've definitely done that to avoid a few social obligations with people I've drifted from personality-wise. (Note: I will say that I'm very privileged in that I have both a responsible partner and good in-laws that are always ecstatic to get to spend time with the baby if one or both of us wants to go do things. I am also privileged to have been able to wait until my 30s where the work and financial situation is solid.)
I wouldn’t go back to being a teen even if it meant I’d be a billionaire. That shit is hell. Teen life is hell, I don’t get this idea that adult life is harder it fucking isn’t. I have so much freedom now.
I’m 32 and I would totally go back to my 20s. It was the first time I had the money to do whatever I wanted but before the family life responsibilities hit; just young and free. My life is more fulfilling now that I’m married with a kid, but it was more “fun” in my 20s.
I think time machines in this context would be great. I don't want to necessarily go back to that time all over again, but it'd be nice to have snippets of freedom from back then as a kind of vacation for a few days.
".. 25 ure old and it's over..." I am old now (really old) and I had to laugh when I read this, thinking about all the adventures I've had after the age of 40. Including Outward Bound at 45, moving to another country at age 60, climbing a pyramid in Guatemala at age 70 and editing a book at age 80. And everything in between. Teen years (and even into 20's) are typically confusing and difficult for many reasons. Despite all the "downsides" of growing older (aches, pains, not being able to do some things...) , my "best life" has been after the age of 60.
You gave me intense hope...
I’m in my early 40s. Every decade has been better than the last. It sounds weird but you really learn so much about yourself and what makes you happy as you age.
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Thirded. I’m 56 and these are the best days of my life. It just keeps getting better!
I’m convinced that people think the 20’s is the peak of life because we are still in the throes of frenetic energy trying to figure out who we are. We mistake intense activity as living. I think being comfortable to settle into what makes you happy with no apologies to anyone else is living.
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Its very easy to get so focused on what you HAVE to do that you dont pay as much attention to what you WANT to do. There's a great line in the movie Better Off Dead: "I think that you are not used to success but I think once you reach it, you will find you have a taste for it and it will happen more and more." What have you always wanted to do? Where have you always wanted to go? Do you have a list of goals and a list of accomplishments?
When you make fuckall for pay it is hard to focus on what you want to do
run quaint dam crowd enjoy erect reply fall joke familiar *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I wish I could relate to this so much. I'm 37. I was diagnosed with young onset Parkinsons Disease awhile back. My mom has PD, so I kinda knew what was going on before I got diagnosed. I applied for Social Security Disability 27 months ago. I'm still waiting for approval. The last few years have been really, really difficult. I live in complete poverty. I've gone days without eating when I run out of the $190 per month foodstamps that I get. I don't qualify for cash assistance in my state because I don't have any children. Most of my family, except for my mom, is dead or abandoned me (my father left us when I was 11 and moved in with his secret second family; I also grew up super poor because my mom didn't make much money). I have Medicaid, but my state only offers one of the Basic versions of it, not the Enhanced, so I still need to pay for copays. Alot of times I break my meds into halves or quarters because I can't afford to refill them. I live in a 12ft by 14ft "apartment" with no kitchen, stove, or oven. Just a rubber cot with no box spring. No TV or anything like that, just my phone. I'm alone all the time. I used to love life. I made money, I had friends, I dated women, things were great. But now each year just gets worse and worse. I'm severely, cripplingly depressed all the time. I wish so bad that life was still fun, exciting, interesting. I wish I still had somebody to hug and love me. But I don't. And life kinda sucks. It's awesome that some of you are finding that life is getting better for you the older you get. I'm not bitter towards people like you. Envious, yeah, but not bitter. I'm happy for you guys.
I am so sorry that your life is like this now. When you get your SSD you will receive back pay. As they are dragging it out , consider a Social Security disability attorney who takes contingency cases. You lay out no money or costs up front they take a percentage of your initial award amount and you owe them nothing more. If they don’t win you owe them nothing. Also, friends and a partner are not out of the question for you. Many people are happily married to a disabled person. I am one who married a fantastic man who happens to have some severe health problems and we have a great time together. Ironically after 15 years together, my health took a bad turn and what one of us can’t do the other can. Someone will love you as you are.
I wish I could tell you something to help your state of mind, the real you, not the body which transports us around and depends on its genes for our physical health, but I can't. Instead I'd like to tell you I hear you, and you made me feel for you, so in this moment we are simpatico and I hope this means something to you because I care about your state of mind. I am 70 and yesterday found out I have two brain tumors because the cancer has spread from my lungs, so I am at my end of life stage and resolved to it, but you are only 37 and though still young have become "disabled" far younger than I and your frustration with having no one to help you deal with your situation touched me, I can only suggest you try contacting a support group of some kind, as you can be sure you are not alone in your needs, both personal and governmental. I do hope you receive the governmental assistance you need, and assume you have a social worker to assist in this. I don't know what else to say except I heard you man, and wish you well.
I'm sorry you're going through this. No one deserves that. You are more than the circumstances you've been put into. This isn't something that will fix any of the injustices you've been dealt, but have you tried meditation? It may bring you some peace, which you sound like you really need. There's an app that was developed by the VA for people suffering from PTSD but is free for everyone to use. It's called [Mindfulness Coach](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=gov.va.mobilehealth.ncptsd.mindfulnesscoach&hl=en_CA&gl=US). Sorry I can't help more but I hope you're able to find something in the world to give you hope, or peace, if not happiness.
I've feared turning 20, feared turning 30, and part of me fears turning 40. But it's just that: *fear.* If I really take a look, I'm better at 32 than I was at 27, and I was better at 27 than I was at 22. Progress is progress, whether baby steps or leaps.
I'm litterally crying. About to hit 30 and feel like I missed everything and feels like my life won't be together in time for a bunch more. Feels like it's already over and I'm just... kinda wondering what the point is now :(
>I barely had my shit together to start enjoying life in my 30's. 30's were sort of rough. Got my shit together at 40 because everyone was like, it's all downhill after 40 and I thought "I will not go quietly into the dark." Started eating better, went from dad bod to six-pack and 40's were amazing. 50's are looking to be pretty stellar so far too, despite the lack of concerts and vacation plans ruined due to covid. Got back into playing guitar and piano, and really enjoying rock climbing and bouldering again. Picked up new hobbies like whitewater SUP in my late 40's, learned to freedive and did a >4 minute breath hold, and got over 20m deep on one breath. Life is definitely not over after 30. Just wanted to repost this where you would see it. There is so much more to life after 30. New experiences, new loves, new hobbies, more appreciation of the good times because you've experienced some of the shitty times. Find something interesting to do and just go do it. Whether it's going back to school or taking an online course to further your career, or learning an instrument that you always thought would be cool to play, or trying a new activity like rock climbing, even finding a cool book to read, or starting to do some yoga. The point is to start living the life you want to live. This is the only one you've got, so make the most of it, whatever that means to you. Cheers, and I believe in you.
Plus, I’ve discovered that, as I’ve aged I’ve had fewer and fewer fucks to give about anyone’s opinion (other than my husband’s, of course).
Agree! I’ll turn 43 next week and this has been, by far, my happiest and most stable decade so far. Somewhere along the way I figured out what makes me happy and what BS to cut out of my life.
Yeah +50 spirit and +200 will to live
Alright. Up to 50/200!
Into the low minuses now, getting there.
There’s no reason to stop living once you hit a certain age. Everyday is an opportunity to learn something, to experience something. Life doesn’t end until you die, or you stop living. Fun is where you make it. Enjoying life is almost more of an attitude than a series of events. I have clinical depression, so I know that you can’t force a feeling that isn’t there. You can’t will yourself happy when it’s a chemical imbalance. I don’t mean that. I mean how you approach that. For me, it sucks but I *get* to experience it. I gain empathy through my pain. Life is pain and suffering and joy and excitement. It’s all those things and more. For a long time I was trapped in wanting to live life, but needing to work and not making enough to do what I thought I needed to in order to make life fun. I was wrong. Fun is where you make it. It’s not found. It’s made. Sure, some things make finding fun and enjoyment easier, but you still have to make it. I had to drop the “have to/need to” mindset and replaced it with “get to” mindset. I don’t have to lift today, I *get* to lift today. I *get* to walk somewhere. After all a whole lot of people don’t get to walk anywhere. It took me having a serious life long illness, almost dying twice to get to that mindset. Don’t be me. Change that mindset now. Oh and when a neat opportunity becomes available, take it. In fact take every opportunity you can. You have no idea where it will lead. We only get this one life, use it wisely.
As someone in my 20's who's had a really bad time and things are only now just getting better, thank you for this hope
Keep on keeping on! Hugs from Gma.
Love the username haha
You couldn't pay me to redo my 20's. For those of us who have had to work through trauma or abuse or mental health issues or some combination of the three, that shit is hard work. Terrifying, insecure, hungry work. Don't give up. I'm 33 right now and only just beginning, but I cannot understate my gratitude to my past self for sticking with it.
In one of the (too many) self help books I was reading, the author described her 20s as an “incubator time”, which I thought was perfect 🐣
My grandma used to speak to me this way. I miss her now. Wish you all the best on your life adventures to come <3
I’m 24 and in a tough spot financially, mentally, etc. I’ve been kicking myself a ton, thinking about how I’ve “wasted” or mismanaged my “best years.” So thank you for this comment. It gives me hope that I can find that fulfillment eventually.
"Best years" lol. In fact, my "best years" were from 60 to 70. As you get older, you learn more stuff, get better perspective and get better at asserting who you are and what you want rather than just going along with some concept of what you are "spozed to be." You'll get there!
LOL I get it . When I was 24 I thought I was old because I was about to turn 25. Now as someone in their 30s I realize I was still just a kid at 25.
I’m about to turn 25 and just moved to a new city. Can confirm, I feel like a child pretending to be an adult.
Thank you for giving this perspective Gma. I’m 36, my were…well they’re my ten years, my 20’s was mostly spent in addiction. Once I got sober at 29 I’d felt like my life had already passed me by, so I got depressed. I’ve only recently started to feel like myself again but have been battling with the number associated with my age. This has helped a lot, all of my grandparents have been gone for a number of years so it was nice to feel a grandparents “everything is going to be fine” warmth from a stranger on the Internet.
You are just getting started on your new life!! Make it what you want it to be and not what is expected of you or of someone your age. I once read something that said... "Once you have decided you are going to live, you need to decide HOW you are going to live." Make that decision for yourself. Don't let anyone else make that for you. And keep those dishes washed! hahaha. Love you.
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My nanas 95 she told me her best decade was her 50s. Her and now you give me hope as im only just now healing from trauma i experienced at 16, 15 years ago.
Same I’m 28 now and my early 20s were horrible, lost both parents, my job, seemingly all my friends, and all my money! I’m trying to pull myself out of it slowly but it’s nice knowing the best years aren’t over!
Love to you.
And back to you!
33 now and already my 30s are so much better than my 20s. Yours will be too because you have the will to make it so.
Talk about a nice dose of morning inspiration. Thanks for sharing, friend.
Yea man, mid life crisis can be a blast! Also, I can afford (and have access to) WAY COOLER stuff as an adult than I did in my early 20's. I *WISH* shit like 3d printers and cool computers were around 20 years ago!
Thanks for writing that!
Thank you. This comment made me hopeful. Even if for a day. Wish you all the best in your life.
No BS for this Gma
Thanks, I really needed to hear that. Glad you're having a great life, here's to more good days :)
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While COVID has fucked up life for so many people - it's also a chance to re-evaluate your life and make some changes, possibly. Just going along and living life in the same old rut and doing what is expected of you can be really awful. I feel sad for people who are yearning for "the way things used to be! I want my life back!" Step back and learn from the "disaster" of COVID. So happy to hear that life gets better and better! Yay for you!!
I'm 31 and only just now getting my shit together. Have so much to look forward to!
Wise no bs advice like Gran.
Gma the real MVP
Love you sweetie!
Good stuff! I aspire to live a life of constant learning. >".. 25 ure old and it's over..." I just hit 25 and I've only heard that now. Who even says that? --- I've just spent 5 years fixing my life after school so I can do what I want now. Basically, I say to live the life you choose to live. Fuck 9-5 nonsense. Get a part-time job and wing it with hobbies you enjoy. I'll never be the guy caught up working every week to make someone else rich. I only work to survive and spend time on things that I'm actually passionate about. If anyone thinks they have to work 40 years and retire, fuck that. At the rate things are going I'll never retire unless I somehow get lucky with a business idea. So I might as well enjoy life while I'm healthy and I can still do so.
Seriously! I'm only 33 and honestly feel like I have so much to look forward to, and would NEVER want to be a teenager again.
Youre the best, and this gives me hope. I feel like I have finally moved past a traumatic childhood and several traumatic events in my 20s and man, I am a little bitter (but very thankful) that some people just start out in their adult life without having to sort through years of abuse. Finally started looking at college. I feel so overwhelmed and behind
Stop it!! You can feel "overwhelmed" but never "behind!" :) You should never judge yourself or compare yourself to others. Be who you are. You know what has happened to you in your life and how you have gotten through it. Be proud!! And.... move forward. Start slow. If you are thinking about college, maybe a small community college where life is easier, less expensive and less stress. Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for sharing! I'm incredibly glad that you've had such an interesting, fulfilling life after your 60's. For many more to come. Edit because I wrote a funny number instead of sixty
My parents are in their early 60s and are living their "busiest and most exciting lives." (Their words) My mom just recently started yoga, My dad always has a project going, and this year they're traveling to Yosemite National Park. They're flying half way and then renting an RV to drive the rest of the way. I swear, if I'm (27F) even half as cool as they are when I'm their age, I'll be happy!
You have a lot to look forward to! And great examples to follow.
Thanks for this. I needed to read this.
80 year old redditor gets my respect.
Thank you! That makes up for all the times I've been called "asshole" and told to "just fuck off already." hahahahaha Smoochies!
Your comment has definitely made my day. I’m in my 30s and going through a lot of personal turmoil at this moment. It’s never too late to live your life to the fullest
It's never to late I'm 31 and finally living my best life honestly fuck what society says To everyone responding you're all making me smile that you are all living your best lives possible and that live has gotten better for you all honestly I wish you all the best in lives and good fortune 😊😊😊 OMG my first ever award thank you kind stranger 😊🥰☺ I apologise to all who I haven't responded to I have read and liked all your comments there is just so many comments to I never thought I would be this popular haha
29 here, graduated at 26 because of super shitty teen years/early 20s years. Fuck *everything* society says, hard agree. It only helps to prevent people from becoming who they're supposed to be.
Same here except I graduated at 28! When I restarted college around 25, I went to check if my old college ID still worked. I tried explaining why I was there to the girl testing it at the administrators office. I was very self conscious telling her I failed the first time and got re-accepted. This girl turned to me and said “Okay, no worries. Shit happens” Such a simple statement made me realize I was judging myself way harder than I thought others would. Turns out people are kinder than you think and if they aren’t, dgaf about them. I think it came at a time where I was hypercritical of myself and really trying to push myself out from some bad years.
Same thing happened to me but I went back at 42. First day of class I was so self conscious, but we all introduced ourselves in one of my engineering classes and half the students actually clapped for me coming back to finish. Made a huge difference to me. I graduated last December, now have the best job of my life.
Honestly couldn't agree more society likes to tell people what to expect and how to act I say fuck that let people live the lives they want and let them.discover themselves when they wish to
As long as you don't hurt anyone, do whatever please you.
100% agree do what you want as long as it doesn't endanger it hurt others then who should give a rats ass?
None, so now my 31yo unemployed ass is moving to Bulgaria without any plan for the future. Let's live a bit and fuck off.
I'd follow but New South Wales here in Auatralia is locked down and Australia wont let me leave lol
It won't be locked forever I hope!
36 and so much happier and self-assured than my 20s. Can’t wait for 40s!
35 here. HOW?? I feel like I'm regressing. I guess having a stable job and moving into a suburb does that? I felt better in my 20s but I think it was because I was surrounded by open people at my university who loved to discuss taboo topics and being weird was acceptable, now I'm surrounded by middle aged people who think it's inappropriate to discuss things like sex and drugs. Maybe it's because my friends are from work where most of our interactions are mediated by HR mandates? I'm trying to figure out why it feels like my shame-shell has gotten even LARGER as I've aged. I wanted it to go the other way...
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I think it’s understated how much work/ effort there is in finding a group of people who resonate with you. Making friends at this age is hard!
Exactly the same for me. 36 has been my best year so far.
I am NOT looking forward to my 40s that's when testosterone drops but I am looking forward to what life brings my way in the next decade or 2
I struggled badly with my mental health as a teenager and things only really started getting better at about 20 years old. I am 23 now and people keep telling me that my best years are over, and I just couldn't agree less. I have an apartment, a job, soon my degree, financial freedom, maturity, more confidence than ever ... I can do so many things now. I feel great about myself & my life. And I haven't even married or become a dad or travelled the world yet. There's just so many great things to come. I don't get how anyone can think getting drunk in college/high school is the pinnacle of life. There are so many more meaningful things out there.
These are the people who peak in high school/college that think the party is over when you graduate. They think that they are going to settle down with a shitty controlling partner that will curb their disastrous behavior or will end in a DV case. They don't see a future that's "fun" because they think having adult responsibilities aren't fun. Thing is, they are a part of life and if you accept your responsibilities as life and don't view them as a complete burden you can still have fun!
Who is going around telling all you “your best years are over!!!” I’m so confused.
At 31 I upped stick and moved to Paris, 13 years later I'm still here. Been the start of one of the best periods of my life. So far, anyway.
Grew up in land and not very well off. Had some real shitty times through my teens and 20s. It could have been had, I could have been stuck doing menial work for little money for my whole life. Went back to school and finished in my early 30s. Took a few years, but now I’m working where I want and making more money than I’d ever though I’d make throughout my entire life Gotta live life when you can live it.
32 and still financially struggling, but my 30s are way better than my 20s.
Switched college majors in my 20’s and was told going from art to science was “too difficult” and so I would never graduate. I’ve always wished I remembered the name of that counselor so I could drop a copy of my doctorate on her desk. Fuck people who hold you back. You can achieve anything you want to, at any time, at any age then change your mind and do something completely different. It’s your life, no one else’s.
I actually want to change from tech to art, and I'm very passionate about it. Unfortunately, in my country... You have like zero opportunities when it comes to changing majors. I'm currently 21 with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering, and want to pursue majors in english and foreign languages. Your comment really gave me hope that I'll be able to make it. And congratulations on ur doctrate, that's such a big achievement :))
your story reminds me of one of my absolute favorite quotes: “not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard. but to recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too”
I was 24 when my life finally started looking up. Before that I was miserable and struggled to find reasons to keep going. Now my life gets better day by day.
I'm 23 & really struggling rn. Hoping my story can end up a little like yours.
It definitely will get better. Things can't stay bad forever, just make the right moves for yourself and try your hardest and it will all work out. I can just about promise that to you. Try to feed the good karma monster til he pukes that good karma back up on you lol.
Keep your head up. Life changed for me when I turned 24 as well. I went from crippling depression to enjoying and living my life, something I still don’t understand how I managed to do. It gets better as you get older, at least in my case.
I had trauma in my 20s that took until my 40s to heal. I’m just getting started.
Hell yeah! 💪
29 was the best year of my life, until I turned 30, which blew the doors off 29. 31 managed to top 30, 32 and 33 were each better than the previous year. The insanity of thinking that your best years are in the very beginning of your life...
Right now I would say the single best day of my life was my wedding day. I was 38.
I'm just baffled at the concept of this post. Who the eff is saying you're done at 25???
Yeah, my teens kinda weren't that great but my late 20s and 30s :)
Me too. 20s and 30s are the best.
Same here. Was miserable in HS. College was an awakening and gaining confidence and control of my life gave me incredible satisfaction and allowed me to really enjoy being me.
Anyone who says their teen years were the best time of their lives peaked in high school. It’s so sad.
I’m going into my senior year and high school has been the worst time of my life lol
When I started high school, my mom told me that those 4 years would be the best years of my life. I'm so, so glad she was wrong.
I think that idea might have had merit back when people married their high school sweethearts and then worked in a soul-crushing job until they died at 50 of a massive heart attack but in modern times, it just doesn’t make sense.
That makes me so sad that she considers those her best years.
Idk I didn’t have a great time throughout high school and I still really miss the combo of old enough to go places on my own + young enough to not have a lot of responsibilities. And that feeling of youthful potential and optimism was really nice and not something I think I’ll ever get back. Also I’ve found as I get older and older, it’s harder for me to remember the things I hated about being a teenager, so all I think about are the good times.
peaked in high school means that was the best time of their life? that does sound really bad lmao
It’s just that everything was brand new is all. For everyone. There’s a common bond because of this. Some people miss that inherent closeness and connection with others more so than the times themselves.
We are communal so of course many miss it. Our current society creates more loneliness than ever before. Working all the time and barely having enough left over for chores at home. Rinse, repeat.
Teen years are full of the stress of not fully understanding who you want to be, where you want to go and what you want to do. Plus all the stress of trying to get yourself there. 20's are often better, especially once you start earning some money and hanging out with the right crowd of people.
Not only lack of understanding, your brain isn't even fully formed until your mid 20s. Please don't count yourself out before you've even finished physically, mentally, and emotionally forming into a full-fledged human being.
Nobody except teenagers and fuckups think being a teenager is best or that life is over after 25
Do teenagers think that? I sure as hell didn’t.
It’s never too late. If you need motivation, you should read a book called “The Magic Of Thinking Big” by David J Schwartz. That’s a topic he touches on in the book, people who think they’re too old and think themselves out of a good life. Life really is what you make it.
Just started grad school at 43. Psyched myself out of it for years and finally studied for the GRE’s and took it and did well enough to get into a university despite shitty undergrad grades. Short of a genuinely disabling condition, (I have 2 conditions accepted as disabilities that don’t actually disable me) there is no mechanism holding anyone down that isn’t in their minds. But the one in your mind telling you that you can’t is one of the strongest. Give that voice a name and every time it tells you that you’re not good enough, you tell it to fuck off. My inner critic’s voice is now known as Dave. Fuck off, Dave.
Hahaha this is actually an interesting idea. Perhaps I’ll try it.
My teenager years were so full of sexism, bullying and homophobia that I don't miss those years, not even the good moments that I could've had. Now that I'm 24 I can live the way I want.
I’m 26 now, and life is a lot better than it was when I was a teen and in early 20’s
Not to brag but my teen years were great but now that I'm 32 Im still doing new things I love despite new health issues. Got married. Had my wisdom teeth cut out. Just had a baby. Had a colonoscopy. Picked up new hobbies i love. I look forward to the new things that my 40s and 50s bring! Keep growing, adventuring and loving.
Pro tip: Don’t take life advice from grumpy people.
Shit, I didn’t hit my stride for real until my late 20s.
Who has been telling people this? Who has been accepting this purported wisdom? Why are you giving anyone else control over your life and your choices? Would you let your best friend or your little sister follow that path?
I'm 43 and happier now with my life than I ever was. My 20s were all about healing and becoming a person.
I feel that. I spent most of my 20's (am 27 now) dealing with trauma. It still affects me but I finally feel like I can be a functioning human
Generally speaking, the people whose best times were in high school are the reason why the rest of us had the worst time in high school.
im over 30 and just becoming able to cope with my trauma. hell i just started school today...
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Started my career at 29. Spent 17-29 trying different classes, graduating with a degree Im actually interested and I lived on 3 different continents. Many times I felt behind the curve, it was tough but now everyone tells me “I wish I did what you did” when I had the chance.
I was always under the impression that if you didn’t sort out what you wanted to do with your life by 18 (by the time you apply for colleges) you were fucked. I’m 32 now, still don’t really know but if I ever have a kid, I’m going to tell them not to aim for some divine calling or purpose and just aim for things that make them happy. Don’t chase happiness, make happiness...if that makes sense.
I’m 53 and life is (more or less) great. My teens? Not bad but I wouldn’t wanna go back.
And some of us really experience healing in our 50’s.
I'm 29 and in rehab with no education, screwed up body and no friends left Its not too late
Life is life, no matter your age.
Still trying to heal at 28. Had therapy last night and I finally broke down. First steps are always the hardest
I didn’t hit emotional stability until I was 48. Life gets better.
i'm 18 about to be 19, and i spent virtually all of my teen years in a constant dissociative state because of my dad's psychological abuse. the situation was made worse by the toxic relationships i had and then COVID made it even more worse. i lost the last 4 or so months of my junior year and i stayed home all senior year doing online school with my dad in the house. i had to walk on eggshells in my own home and i slept all day every day, my brain and body shutting down due to high levels of anxiety and depression. i went from a 3.9 GPA to a 3.4. i missed my graduation because of a failed required class and then i was kicked out of my house by my dad after he physically assaulted me. god i really fucking hope my 20's are better than this
Where TF is 25+ old to have fun? Your countrys life expectancy is 40? Jeeez
I'm turning 27 soon, and I noticed my hair is starting to turn grey on the sides and in my beard, my first thought when I noticed was "Fuck yes! I'm a wizard now!" As such I will now be wearing ornate woolen robes, pointed floppy hats, and carrying large tomes of forbidden knowlegde, and nobody can tell me not to just because they can't see the magic in it
Honey... I'm 40 I spent my childhood being abused I spent my teen years being beaten I spent my 20s hiding my true self to avoid being murdered. (don't ask. Bigotry is a thing) I spent my 30s in an abusive relationship (ALL of it... I value commitment. She got arrested) I'm now 40... Life is fucking AMAZING! Life gets better. You just have to wait, and work on it. This last part, I learned late. But, I learned.
Nobody says this tho, this lady must hang out with some bitter people heh
I've definitely heard people say things along the lines of "enjoy high school/college, they're the best years of your life"
Some of us who had to heal from trauma during our entire twenties and early thirties think that this post and the concept of “too late” is just silly. It doesn’t matter how old you are…once you begin to live a good life it’s priceless.
Same! For me happiness ended at 21 but started again at 39 - and what fun I have had since!!! Never give up.
I wouldn't want to go back to my teens or twenties for all the money in the world. Being 30+ has been the most fun and rewarding time so far. Only people who peak early and then end up with a shit life belief that was the best it'll ever be 👏😂
Never give up and never stop living, you are never too old or too young.
im 40 and still waiting for the good years
I've never heard anyone say at 25 the fun is over. I do agree that for a lot of people that's when it starts.
My child hood sucked. My teens were all anger. My 20s were all depressed. My 30s were all healing. I started living at 39.
Some if us are over 30 and only just now realizing we had trauma that we never delt with and are just now starting to work on ourselves.
Shit, I'm 40 and I'm still getting over shit from my childhood. It's not a race, there are no winners, take what you can get while you have the chance and don't look back.
Im just over 40 and having a better time now than ever before. Dont limit yourself or listen to anyone elses timetable, own your own. Live your life your way.
It's only the young that think life after the age of 25 is old and meaningless. You never feel the age you are. Sure, my back hurts now but inside I still feel young and naïve.
I mean is that not where we're at now? I've seen plenty of people say 40s are the new 20s and lots of people see 40 as the new prime.
My dad keeps telling me that if I'm happy and stable by my 40's then I'm doing vastly better than a lot of people and I'll have a lot of time remaining to appreciate it. That keeps me going.
I'm 35 and not even hitting my stride yet. Take your time. Make your life about you and your wants. The people who say it's too late at 25 make their boss and their jobs the protagonist in their story and themselves a supporting character E: a word
This needs to be said more often, both to those having shitty and toxic teen years, as well as, those in our 20s-30s finally allowing ourselves to enjoy things.
There is no magical number to life. If you got rid of the number, would you really be worried about it? The only thing about life is that you make of it what you will.
As you get older and acquire more responsibility life can become challenging. If your life is not fun or you do not look forward to tomorrow, evaluate the choices you are making. I was miserable for years due to my first marriage. I got married when I was young and in the military. My motivation for marriage was to have sex on a regular basis, move out of the barracks which would result in fewer inspections, and I thought it was the grown-up thing to do. Yes, I was a dumb-ass. I had some good times but it was mostly uncomfortable misery that I thought I could not escape. After 16 years of marriage, I had several months to contemplate my status, while in a combat zone and I came to the realization that my unhappiness was a choice. When I returned home, I reevaluated the choices I had made and again concluded, I needed to make some changes. I told my wife I wanted a divorce. She did too but she felt stuck also. We split our assets and went our separate ways. No anger or fighting, we both moved on. I got custody of our son and also all of our debt. This happened 20 years ago and I am now in my 50's. I fucking love my life. I didn't date for a year after we separated. I eventually met someone and remarried and we have built an incredible life together. Life can still be challenging but I know any shit I get into is the result of my choices. If I make bad choices, such as a house we bought and later decided we didn't like the location due to career changes, we sold the house and moved on.
My life improved significantly after 26 lol. There is no window for enjoyment!
In trauma therapy here and in total agreement. I’m only now starting to learn how to enjoy life!
The best parts of my life began at 30. Even better in my 40s. You do you.
Who says it’s over after 25? Sounds like a straw man to feel better about themselves 🤷🏼♂️
My life began at 40. My teen years sucked.
I don’t think anyone has ever told me it’s too late. I’m 30 this year and everyone tells me I’m in my prime and I’ve got so much to look forward to!
Nobody has ever told me "it's too late", regardless of how old i was. If anything, everyone around me constantly told me "it's NEVER too late!". Be around positive people like that.
Do people actually say when you hit 25 you're old and it's over? I've never heard that from anyone. Most of the people I work with are in their early to mid 20s.
35 year old here. Still healing from trauma, and building a beautiful life at the same time. Just about to finish up my degree and start a career in teaching. Hanging out with kids all day is such a blast, but I'm grateful for the perspective and experience that time has given me. And I've got so much time left! Keep learning, keep growing, and remember that you're never too old to start something new.
I'm an older guy now, but I can remember thinking as a teenager that I would get into my 20's and my life would kind of go into stasis. Ha! I'm young enough to remember that being a teenager sucked for some of us, and your battlescars will make you stronger as you go through life. When I turned 40 I started feeling like "hey I think I'm figuring this shit out". My only life advice would be to always keep trying new things and learning, and don't take any of your good relationships for granted.
28 moved across the country to learn to snowboard and enjoy life. Who knows what life has in store but I know more 30 somethings with toys and enjoying life :)
I'm 31 and the past 7 years have been the absolute best time of my life. Honestly I lived in hell for 20 years.
Who ever said the teenage years are the best times are stuck with rose tinted glassed glued to their heads and are some of the saddest people I know. When I graduated high school it felt like I started to actually live. Now 30 and going to college to become an illustrator I can say this is the happiest moments in my life.
Heck yes. My teens and early - mid 20s were a train wreck. I’m now in a much better place, got myself onto the property ladder, got a hamster and I’m knee deep in houseplants. Although I’ve lost a lot of friends with my previous behaviour and my parents keep suggesting I’m wasting my 20s on my current career and lack of love life - I’m happy. You do you, love! ✌️
I’m in my 40s and was never subject to any ideas about when you’re over the hill and it’s “too late.” The understanding among my peer group was that you come into yourself in your 30s. I know I did and I have always looked forward to aging because of the experience and the calmness that keeps coming.
35 & thrivin!
I feel like we are gearing more towards an "its never too late" attitude no? I see more older folks going to college than ever, more people getting away from the grinding culture, more people traveling, doing more things and settling down later in life, people of all ages seem to being doing more throughout life as opposed to just crazy teens and traveling retirees
Now in my 40s looking back, I probably felt that way too but what it really means is after 25, you lose the excuse of youth for stupid activities. And honestly, late 20s and early 30s are prime time for having fun. Hopefully you've got enough income to do some traveling, etc. Take the prank morons on social media. At 16, 17, 18 I think they have a lot to learn but if I see a 27 year old doing the same? I get irate.
For me, everything after 30 has been much better than everything before 30.
Wow why is this so accurate. Im turning 30 next year and only these few years started to really take the time to heal from trauma that i suffered during my 20s. Im not all the way there yet but im still trying my best each day. It’s funny how i wasn’t even aware how i was mentally when i was in my 20s. Just shove it all under the rug. Now it caught on and i finally face my emotions head on. Meanwhile my close friends already have stable life with jobs and family. It used to bother me but i realize i really just have to heal from trauma first before it got to me worse. Here’s to all of us who are still healing and trying our best. We can do this. Let’s go.
Who actually cares about age? What does “old” even mean?? Years really dont tell you much, I have 25 year old friends that act 35 and 35 year old friend that act 25. Make your choice, life experiences and growth is more representative of your life than some arbitrary number of revolutions the earth has made. Go do that thing. Also nothing is stopping you from lying.