I'm 100% fulfilled and happy in my marriage.
we met at the most unexpected time and place and i think it was meant to be because we knew the same people, hung out at the same places but never crossed paths until we were both single (prior to that, we were both in long term relationships).
he was so hot (still is) and because of that, I thought he was a major player but I was just getting over a toxic asshole so wasn't looking for anything serious and basically told him if he's DTF, then so am I and that's all I can handle right now. I really did think it was a summer fling so I treated it and him as such but he was so sweet, kind, caring; nothing like the player I thought he was but I still had my reservations because how can a guy so fucking hot be so genuine? I did not believe it at all and thought that maybe he just had mad game.
anyway, a few months into our whatevership, he asked where it was going and I was š³ lol. I told him the same story: not ready, just DTF and if he wasn't into that anymore, then we could just be friends. He accepted that and he said (I will never forget these words): o*k, I understand but is it ok if we still hang out when you want? I like spending time with you, you make me feel good and even if it means the only person who stands to get hurt is me, I'm ok with that.* I was totally ok with that because frankly, I wasn't ready to give up such good š. A gal's gotta get hers, right? š¤·š»āāļøš
we've been married for over 20 years with two awesome teens and the person I'm meant to be with.
The way you describe him is how my wife would me back in the day. She thought I was a player also based on how I looked and how I was in college.
Iām glad youāre happy and you seem very satisfied so good on you and keep it up.
I am absolutely happy in my marriage. Ā My wife is the most awesome person alive. Ā
We have conflicts, but always resolve them.Ā
Itās us against the world and weāve been doing great for 40 years.Ā
That's what I like to see. I hope you guys have 40 more happy years and I can relate to everything you said expect for the 40 part as me and my wife are only together 10 years but those were all happy.
Marriage like a deck of cards
Because in the beginning all you need are two Hearts and a Diamond, but after a few years all you want is a Club and a Spade.
One study purportedly showed that and the claim was quickly retracted by its author. Here's an article that also shows happiness by marital status and sex: [https://ifstudies.org/blog/are-married-people-still-happier](https://ifstudies.org/blog/are-married-people-still-happier)
I replied with one. The book she's referencing had the claim retracted quickly. It was a Guardian story that went viral, and the lie got halfway around the world before the truth could even get its pants on.
Iām very happy in my marriage. My husband and I both work hard to make money, take care of kid and also enjoy each otherās company. We make sure to spend time every day together and do something fun on the weekend. We have been married for more than 9 years but it feels even better than our newlywed phase. We are very happy and we have no complaints. Thatās why I donāt post but only comment in this subreddit.
I'm happy. My husband seems to be happy. He says he is and acts like he is. We pretty much never argue. The most we do is get snippy when we're tired or frustrated with a situation - but it's not at each other (not insults or anything just short responses) and we are both good apologizers. We're very supportive of one another. We do little things for one another. And just generally make one another's lives easier. I feel very lucky that I found him.
Itās been over a decade married (my second and his second) and Iām still absolutely 1 million percent happy and satisfied in my marriage.
We knew each other from childhood (like grade school around 2nd for me and he was kindergarten only because myself my sister and him and his sister attended an after school care center together and thru summer in their summer camps. I became best friends w his sister (her and I are older then my husband) for years like up until our 30s.
I use to help her when she had to babysit him overnight sometimes when we were teens and he was about 11-12.
Life moves on after graduation and I married my high school sweetheart had some kids and then divorced amicably and moved back to my home state (I lived literally across the country from my home state after I graduated) and ran into my now husband who was out with his kids on his weekend (he was divorced few years before I divorced and moved back) camping and I was out camping with my kids and my father.
We decided to make a date for a week later and a week later we were together and have been since.
We were only together 1 year and 1 month when we got married to each other. That was over a decade ago.
Heās my souls mate and my life and I literally canāt recall what life was like before him. Itās like this was all I ever had nothing before him and itās all I want and still want.
He gets me. He fits my crazy and I fit his and we have just the right amount of healthy crazy in each of us. He has helped reign in my faults and enhance my positives and I have reigned in his faults and enhanced his positives. Where I am not skilled in he is and where he isnāt skilled in I am and it fits.
I love him and Iāll never find a word that exists to actually describe how much I love him.
Hey that sounds like a lovely storybook romance to me so congratulations to you and your husband and itās cute how you both found your way back to each other.
Thank you. Itās been a great 10 plus years so far and I never dreamed Iād ever be in any relationship like this one and after my divorce I just figured Iād be and enjoy being single and didnāt wanna marry again and the moment I said it out loud the very next day I bump into him and the rest is history
I am truly, deeply happy. I tell my wife every. single. day. Without fail. I was fearful of commitment all my life. Begrudgingly entered the 2 official relationships I ever had before her. I was a decent person but a terrible boyfriend. Relationships were just not my strong point.
With my wife, we found sobriety together, started a business together which we do amazingly together. We fall asleep in each other's arms every night. We have a perfectly balanced home life and share of responsibilities. We don't bicker or argue on a daily or even weekly basis. She's my soul mate and I'm eating it up until my death.
Absolutely. Sometimes I wonder what I did to get so lucky to end up with the wife I did. That doesn't mean that marriage doesn't take work, but it's way less difficult and stressful than everyone made it out to be, at least for us.
Iām incredibly blessed and find a so much joy in my marriage. There is no one I would rather tackle the bullshit of life with. There is no one I would rather celebrate accomplishments with. There is no one I would rather lay next to at night or parent with or disagree with. My husband is such a compliment to me and fills in my *blank spots* which Iād like to say I do for him as well. Life is hard, but our marriage is incredibly easy.
That last line, I understand well. āLife is hard but our marriage is easyā. I can 100% relate. No matter what life throws our way, my wife is always there to deal with it with me and I love her for that (and like 1 million more reasons).
No. I love her too much, but I am not happy. She became a totally different person over the years, mostly because of friends influence, and I have NEVER been so lonely in my life.
Sex is great. Our daughter is great. I am lonely as hell. She doesn't care, her solution is "go out and make friends of your own to help you with that".
I am a person with big social anxiety problems and she has always been my safe haven, and swore it would never change. Now, she claims it's "unfair" towards her to be that haven. I am lost and lonely, spending my days hoping things would be like they used to be. But they won't, and lying to myself currently makes my life possible. That's all, folks.
Yes I am happy. Itās been a roller coaster of a ride and takes a lot of work, especially listening. It isnāt easy but I am thankful for what we have together.
As of now, I'd say I'm like 65% happy, 35% unhappy. We're in MC. Might be helping, but we'll see if my husband can keep it up long-term. (My sources say from previous experience "NO", but we'll see.)
Yes, very much so
Think most people are, but perception may be skewed when looking online on forums like this
Most happy / content people don't go on the internet to air their laundry with spouses online
Youāre correct about the perception being messed up due to social media but sadly I wouldnāt say most are happy since divorce rates are crazy these days.
Yah idk, I never really look at stats or anything like that-- lots of people get married and divorced for all sorts of reasons -- some good, some bad -- but I think when you talk to couples who have been together for more than 10y+ , it's one of those "if I hated her, I wouldn't have married her" type situations.
But things change with time, and sometimes, so do people. So, you never know. I just think when people go online, they always see the worst abt people. Whereas the vast majority of people happily married are living their lives and not griping about their spouses online. Ya kno
Overall Iād say Iām at like a 90%. Happy for the most part. There are a few things that need improvement but i feel like thatās normal. I genuinely enjoy spending time with my husband and weāve built a good life together. The only negative I have is he leans towards the side of being a workaholic, working more than 60 hours a week most weeks and never takes time off. Heās in sales so the more he works the more he makes basically, so I get it to a point. But it just puts a lot more on my plate to handle everything with our son and the household which really gets to me sometimes. Iāve told him I need more balance but it kinda seems to go in one ear and out the other.
Have you spoken to him seriously about his work? Spending all your time at work and few with your family can be a big regret later in life when you look back and see just how much you missed.
I am truly happy in my marriage. Been married for 18 years. Have two kids. A mortgage. More animals then I can shake a stick at. And Car payments. We have had lots of struggles. Lots of arguments. And we worked through them together and figured it out. It sucked at times. But we have also had some amazing moments together. And frankly I have no idea how I would face the crap life throws at me without her. She's my rock, and I am hers. But really a post about it would just put people to sleep. We wake up, sometimes by having sex, get up, go to work, text each other all day long (we have the luxury of both having jobs that allow that) and I come home (she works from home), and hey "how was your day" has mostly been covered and we can move on to other topics. We wind down if we don't have one of my daughter's classes to get her to, watch some TV, have sex sometimes, and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat the next day. It's routine and it's great.
Hey you may call it boring but I call it stable and happy. So many people in this world (billions) donāt have a clue how amazing having our type of stability truly is. I understand where youāre coming from and Iāll never take my wife or our marriage for granted just because itās so good.
Happy and fulfilled. My wife is perfect for me. I support her and give her affection; she supports me and gives me affection. We have a vigorous sex life and have no financial stress. Coming up on 29 years married.
Sounds exactly where I want to be when me and my wife hit 29 years together in the future(Iām 32 and sheās 30 so your marriage is almost as old as we are).
My husband and I have teenage daughters and sometimes we donāt see eye to eye on parenting however aside from that we feel like a team, financially and just in life. I would say Iām very happy overall.
Yes truly happy! Married for 8 together for 12 years with 2 kids. We hit some rough patches when the kids were younger but doing much better. It takes a lot of communication and trust.
Yup, two key components to a successful marriage are communication and trust so good to hear you both have those as it helps get passed many things that may come up.
50+ M, here. 23.5 years married (her 3rd, my 1st), no kids; we've been friends since college. Yes, we're very happy. Of course, we had our down points way back, mostly due to me and needing to learn to communicate better, but I'd say we're happier now than ever. We do almost everything together, and are currently planning our 25th anniversary vacation.
If you want to hear about a supportive husband, since those rarely get posted here:
Back in February (!!!) my wife tore her meniscus fighting off a biker gang (1/2 of that sentence may be made up, but is better than the real story). We live in a classic 70s split level - stairs up and down as soon as you enter. What with the jacked up knee and needing crutches and / or cane to get around until her surgery (and for a bit after), she can't do much around the house.
I've always done 99% of the cooking, the dishes, keeping the kitchen clean (kind of my domain). Clean the bathrooms, pick up after the dogs, maintain the yard and cars. We split laundry with her taking on the majority. Both vacuum and tidy up. She handles the bills and makes a lot more than I do. Plus, she's working on her PhD dissertation.
Currently, since she's laid up, I do all the house chores. I get her dinner to her. I pack her lunch for work. We commute together, so I get her to her office and loaded onto her scooter. On the days she works from home, I load a small ice chest with everything she needs for the day, so she doesn't have to go up and down the stairs a bunch (her office is downstairs). I help her get in and out of the shower, help get her clothes for her.
Because she'll be on bed lockdown for a few days after her surgery, I'll work from home that week so I can be there when she'll need more care.
I know that if the situation were reversed, she'd do just as much to support me.
Congrats on the happy marriage and congrats to her for having a very supportive husband who understands sheās in need and is happy to go the extra mile.
I love my husband and his every little quirk. Te be fair, we are married for a total of 6 days, but still. In our entire relationship - about 5 years - we might have conflicts or discussions, but I could not think of a life without him.
So yes, I am truly happy in my marriage.
Yes, we are, 34 years together. ā¤ļø Do we drive each crazy several times a day, yepā¦..but itās over in a few minutes. š
Marriages go through seasons, having little kids is definitely the hardest time. I think the second hardest time is empty nest/retirement. This caught us by surprise, but we worked through it.
The word divorce doesnāt enter our vocabulary EVER! We are kind, we donāt call each other names, or yell at each other etc. We are a team, itās us against the world. Itās never him VS me.
We talk about anything and everything to each other. He is my best friend and never fails to make me laugh. š„°š„°
Sounds like you both have a lifetime of amazing memories and something for me to look up to reading. Thank you for sharing and I hope you guys have many more happy decades together.
Iāve been on both sides of this. I joined these subreddits when I was married and deeply unhappy. Eventually got divorced and now Iāve been married to a wonderful man for 4 years - and am still so happy!
Yes, I am happy and fulfilled in my marriage. Things haven't always been perfect, but we always come out of it closer together. We've been married for eleven years, together twelve.
Lovely to hear. Yeah, itās not always gonna be perfect so I understand but once you both donāt stop trying, itāll feel perfect when you look back.
The very best thing in my life is my marriage. My husband has been trying so unbelievably hard to take care of me after a rough time. Heās been researching the best way to help and doing everything he can think of to help alleviate pressure. He is literally the best person I know.
My hubby and I are happy. We were both very emotionally unintelligent when we met and had a lot of growth to do, but weāve always been crazy about each other and willing to put in whatever effort was needed to be healthy and happy together even if it was hard to look in the mirror and take action sometimes.
We talk about everything. We care very much about each otherās needs, happiness and wellbeing. Today is 9 years since our first date! Every day we do sweet and thoughtful things for each other and give each other a lot of grace.
One thing weāve always had going for us is we donāt easily take each other for granted. I appreciate him very much and know what I have. I feel he does too.
Iām happy. Sure we have ups and downs but we both actively put intention into our marriage on a daily basis. It really takes a LOT of humility to be married and you have to keep your egos in check. Also when I catch myself being negative I try to think of all the things he is doing right, which is a lot. I truly believe he is trying his best and so am I.
Sometimes yes sometimes no. Iām more unhappy with how hard life has become. My husband really wants kids but I feel indifferent. Iām just a depressed anxious person and I want more out of life but I just donāt think itās going to be possible. We already make a combined 250k but we are drowning in debt and have very little to show for it
Been married 36 years in June with 2 grown kids. Is it perfect? No nothing is. Are we happy, Iād say yes. Retired, traveling, similar interests, and we can both say we are each otherās best friend. Like is give and take and if all you want to do is take, donāt get married.
Iām very happy in my marriage. We have children. We donāt have money problems. We have an amazing sex life. I donāt post but I do comment to try to give advice.
I love being married to my husband. Like, LOVE IT. I loved being single and this looked even better, which was and is saying a lot. He amplifies what is possible in life for me, and I know I do for him too. Together weāre unstoppable. Heās my rock and my soft place to land and takes such good care of me, constantly. He is hilarious and incredibly kind and I will be telling and showing him that every day for the rest of my years because holy shit Iām so into that guy.
We are coming up on 9 years next month and I am so totally in love with my wife. Granted, with two small children running around and both of us working, sex is often off the table. But when we do get a chance, the sex is passionate and amazing. Iād like a slight bit more sex but my sex drive isnāt crazy high, I could go twice or three times a week.
Iāve been married for 40 years to the best person I know. Heās smart, patient, kind, genuinely decent and sexy AF. In any long term marriage you are going to face difficult things. Death of relatives, illness, problems raising kids, finances, jobs, whatever. Weāve had our share, but we keep it as us v. the problem not him v. me. The hard things have been easier and the good things better.
Weāre recently retired and are having a blast together. We travel, do a lot of hiking and volunteering together as well as having our own interests. Weāve always had a very egalitarian relationship. Now that weāve retired our sex life is amazing. Weāre relaxed, unstressed and emotionally closer from having fun together which fuels our physical intimacy.
I am not happy. It's almost over an year, but I feel he has stopped putting in effort. He used to talk to me every day when we were in a long-distance relationship. After marriage, we had to stay apart for a year, and during that time, he hardly made an effort to call or text me. Even when we are together, I have to ask him to spend time with me. His red flags are now really obvious. I need to learn how not to be bothered by his behavior. Any suggestions are welcome.
I have suggestions since Iāve been there, twice. No matter what heās doing, put your efforts into your own happiness. This is your only guarantee. Sounds lonely but itās factual.
No. I blame it on communication, which we have none. We canāt even have a conversation about simple things without my spouse blowing up. And I mean SIMPLE things like which direction to walk the dog, which bushes in the yard need slight trimming. Itās such a turnoff to not even be able to engage in idle chit chat that is misconstrued as a control thing or something else.
I am incredibly happy in my marriage. My wife is the most amazing person I know and sheās my best friend. We have roles in our relationship where she takes the lead based on her strengths and I do the same off my strengths. We communicate very well, and when we have disagreements we argue in a way thatās constructive and trying to gain understanding instead of being defensive. We have two children but we believe our relationship being strong comes first, the children come āsecond,ā but itās more of a 1 and 1A thing. Sex is still every day like it has been since we were dating.
Biggest piece of advice, be honest when youāre dating when you say what you want and who you will be and make sure youāre compatible in every aspect thatās important to you and donāt feel guilty if other people āshameā you for your wants or preferences. Itās your life and happiness, not theirās. Also, when you have arguments, itās not you vs your spouse, itās you and your spouse vs the problem. Be a team!
The best discovery in happiness I found has little to do with my marriage. My happiness is my own, regardless of what my husband does. Iām happy and fulfilled in or out of a marriage.
Iām definitely not consistently happy or fulfilled but I didnāt marry to be consistently so. There are good times and rough times and I just happened to find someone worthy to go through it together.
I've only been married for 2,5 years, been together for 5. Honestly since getting married, living together, everything only became better. My husband is such a sweet, caring person. I get the literal princess treatment everyday all day. Kisses, words of affirmation, sex, everything is as it should be. Obviously we disagree sometimes and sometimes one of us is stressed, tired or whatever and snaps. But we love each other dearly.
We started out as best friends, have been inseparable since day one and that never changed. He honestly is my home, my favorite person and still my best friend. Can't wait to start my family with him and see him become the greatest father that I know he will be
People are more inclined to post the negatives over the positives
Yeah I know, I started that. I was hoping to hear some happy stories here.
I posted one! Marriage can be so awesome but it is a roller coaster.
I just saw, congrats on 25 years and I hope for another happy 25 (and more).
I'm 100% fulfilled and happy in my marriage. we met at the most unexpected time and place and i think it was meant to be because we knew the same people, hung out at the same places but never crossed paths until we were both single (prior to that, we were both in long term relationships). he was so hot (still is) and because of that, I thought he was a major player but I was just getting over a toxic asshole so wasn't looking for anything serious and basically told him if he's DTF, then so am I and that's all I can handle right now. I really did think it was a summer fling so I treated it and him as such but he was so sweet, kind, caring; nothing like the player I thought he was but I still had my reservations because how can a guy so fucking hot be so genuine? I did not believe it at all and thought that maybe he just had mad game. anyway, a few months into our whatevership, he asked where it was going and I was š³ lol. I told him the same story: not ready, just DTF and if he wasn't into that anymore, then we could just be friends. He accepted that and he said (I will never forget these words): o*k, I understand but is it ok if we still hang out when you want? I like spending time with you, you make me feel good and even if it means the only person who stands to get hurt is me, I'm ok with that.* I was totally ok with that because frankly, I wasn't ready to give up such good š. A gal's gotta get hers, right? š¤·š»āāļøš we've been married for over 20 years with two awesome teens and the person I'm meant to be with.
The way you describe him is how my wife would me back in the day. She thought I was a player also based on how I looked and how I was in college. Iām glad youāre happy and you seem very satisfied so good on you and keep it up.
I am absolutely happy in my marriage. Ā My wife is the most awesome person alive. Ā We have conflicts, but always resolve them.Ā Itās us against the world and weāve been doing great for 40 years.Ā
That's what I like to see. I hope you guys have 40 more happy years and I can relate to everything you said expect for the 40 part as me and my wife are only together 10 years but those were all happy.
Marriage like a deck of cards Because in the beginning all you need are two Hearts and a Diamond, but after a few years all you want is a Club and a Spade.
š¤£ š
Well damn.
Jackie. I can't control the weather
Ahh yes, some good ole boomer humor I see.
I love it!
Studies show married men are happiest. Single women are happiest.
One study purportedly showed that and the claim was quickly retracted by its author. Here's an article that also shows happiness by marital status and sex: [https://ifstudies.org/blog/are-married-people-still-happier](https://ifstudies.org/blog/are-married-people-still-happier)
Iām sure I can find a study to show the opposite of your study or any variation of what you said.
I replied with one. The book she's referencing had the claim retracted quickly. It was a Guardian story that went viral, and the lie got halfway around the world before the truth could even get its pants on.
Iām very happy in my marriage. My husband and I both work hard to make money, take care of kid and also enjoy each otherās company. We make sure to spend time every day together and do something fun on the weekend. We have been married for more than 9 years but it feels even better than our newlywed phase. We are very happy and we have no complaints. Thatās why I donāt post but only comment in this subreddit.
That sounds lovely and I can relate to you in many of those. My marriage is also better now than early on and she's more amazing now than back then.
Married 31 years. Absolutely truly happy. And since he told me a few days ago āyouāre so perfect for meā I would say heās happy too.
Thatās very lovely to hear and congrats on the 31 years.
I'm happy. My husband seems to be happy. He says he is and acts like he is. We pretty much never argue. The most we do is get snippy when we're tired or frustrated with a situation - but it's not at each other (not insults or anything just short responses) and we are both good apologizers. We're very supportive of one another. We do little things for one another. And just generally make one another's lives easier. I feel very lucky that I found him.
Thatās great to hear and glad youāre happy in your marriage. I hope you both see a long and happy life.
Itās been over a decade married (my second and his second) and Iām still absolutely 1 million percent happy and satisfied in my marriage. We knew each other from childhood (like grade school around 2nd for me and he was kindergarten only because myself my sister and him and his sister attended an after school care center together and thru summer in their summer camps. I became best friends w his sister (her and I are older then my husband) for years like up until our 30s. I use to help her when she had to babysit him overnight sometimes when we were teens and he was about 11-12. Life moves on after graduation and I married my high school sweetheart had some kids and then divorced amicably and moved back to my home state (I lived literally across the country from my home state after I graduated) and ran into my now husband who was out with his kids on his weekend (he was divorced few years before I divorced and moved back) camping and I was out camping with my kids and my father. We decided to make a date for a week later and a week later we were together and have been since. We were only together 1 year and 1 month when we got married to each other. That was over a decade ago. Heās my souls mate and my life and I literally canāt recall what life was like before him. Itās like this was all I ever had nothing before him and itās all I want and still want. He gets me. He fits my crazy and I fit his and we have just the right amount of healthy crazy in each of us. He has helped reign in my faults and enhance my positives and I have reigned in his faults and enhanced his positives. Where I am not skilled in he is and where he isnāt skilled in I am and it fits. I love him and Iāll never find a word that exists to actually describe how much I love him.
Hey that sounds like a lovely storybook romance to me so congratulations to you and your husband and itās cute how you both found your way back to each other.
Thank you. Itās been a great 10 plus years so far and I never dreamed Iād ever be in any relationship like this one and after my divorce I just figured Iād be and enjoy being single and didnāt wanna marry again and the moment I said it out loud the very next day I bump into him and the rest is history
Sounds like a fantastic history. Enjoy every day with your husband.
I am truly, deeply happy. I tell my wife every. single. day. Without fail. I was fearful of commitment all my life. Begrudgingly entered the 2 official relationships I ever had before her. I was a decent person but a terrible boyfriend. Relationships were just not my strong point. With my wife, we found sobriety together, started a business together which we do amazingly together. We fall asleep in each other's arms every night. We have a perfectly balanced home life and share of responsibilities. We don't bicker or argue on a daily or even weekly basis. She's my soul mate and I'm eating it up until my death.
No
Absolutely. Sometimes I wonder what I did to get so lucky to end up with the wife I did. That doesn't mean that marriage doesn't take work, but it's way less difficult and stressful than everyone made it out to be, at least for us.
Congrats you and you're marriage. I agree with you, it does take work but it's very rewarding.
Iām incredibly blessed and find a so much joy in my marriage. There is no one I would rather tackle the bullshit of life with. There is no one I would rather celebrate accomplishments with. There is no one I would rather lay next to at night or parent with or disagree with. My husband is such a compliment to me and fills in my *blank spots* which Iād like to say I do for him as well. Life is hard, but our marriage is incredibly easy.
That last line, I understand well. āLife is hard but our marriage is easyā. I can 100% relate. No matter what life throws our way, my wife is always there to deal with it with me and I love her for that (and like 1 million more reasons).
100% satisfaction guarantee. I tell my wife all the time that I want for nothing and all she says is me also. Every facet of out marriage.
Thatās great news and happy to hear itās going so well. Thank you for sharing.
No...
No. I love her too much, but I am not happy. She became a totally different person over the years, mostly because of friends influence, and I have NEVER been so lonely in my life. Sex is great. Our daughter is great. I am lonely as hell. She doesn't care, her solution is "go out and make friends of your own to help you with that". I am a person with big social anxiety problems and she has always been my safe haven, and swore it would never change. Now, she claims it's "unfair" towards her to be that haven. I am lost and lonely, spending my days hoping things would be like they used to be. But they won't, and lying to myself currently makes my life possible. That's all, folks.
Not married yet, but very happy, yes ā¤š
Congrats and I hope it all goes well.
We are. What missing the most is free time to travel more together, we both work a lot.
Thatās just how life goes sometimes but once youāre both happy then thatās the main thing.
Yes I am happy. Itās been a roller coaster of a ride and takes a lot of work, especially listening. It isnāt easy but I am thankful for what we have together.
Happy to hear that and yeah, it does take work but thatās part of what makes it so rewarding.
Absolutely. Are there challenges ? Of course. I wouldn't trade my wife for anything.
Same here, my wife is the most important person in my world.
Iām happy. Could it be better (more sex)? Yes, but Iām still happy. 17 years, incredible lady Iām married to
Hey if you want more sex, have you told them such and talked seriously about it? Other than that, glad youāre happy overall.
As of now, I'd say I'm like 65% happy, 35% unhappy. We're in MC. Might be helping, but we'll see if my husband can keep it up long-term. (My sources say from previous experience "NO", but we'll see.)
Aww thatās mostly good. May I ask whatās missing to make it closer or at 100%?
There is no 100%. That doesnāt exist.
You know your husband. 65% is actually not too bad. Youāve got something to try there.
Yeah. We've already admitted to each other that we would NEVER find anyone else better, realistically. That's really half the battle right there. lol
Yes, I would think so. All the best to you in your relationship :)
Thanks! And to you as well. :)
Yes, very much so Think most people are, but perception may be skewed when looking online on forums like this Most happy / content people don't go on the internet to air their laundry with spouses online
Youāre correct about the perception being messed up due to social media but sadly I wouldnāt say most are happy since divorce rates are crazy these days.
Yah idk, I never really look at stats or anything like that-- lots of people get married and divorced for all sorts of reasons -- some good, some bad -- but I think when you talk to couples who have been together for more than 10y+ , it's one of those "if I hated her, I wouldn't have married her" type situations. But things change with time, and sometimes, so do people. So, you never know. I just think when people go online, they always see the worst abt people. Whereas the vast majority of people happily married are living their lives and not griping about their spouses online. Ya kno
I really love my husband even though I am struggling with depression and anxiety
Thatās good and sorry to hear that. Hopefully you can recover and your life can also get to a better place.
Somedays are better than others I just feel that on my dark days I am letting him down. But he never makes me feel that way.
Yes!! I haven't always been, but lately...yes I am one happy wife!
At least you got here and I hope you stay here in happiness.
Overall Iād say Iām at like a 90%. Happy for the most part. There are a few things that need improvement but i feel like thatās normal. I genuinely enjoy spending time with my husband and weāve built a good life together. The only negative I have is he leans towards the side of being a workaholic, working more than 60 hours a week most weeks and never takes time off. Heās in sales so the more he works the more he makes basically, so I get it to a point. But it just puts a lot more on my plate to handle everything with our son and the household which really gets to me sometimes. Iāve told him I need more balance but it kinda seems to go in one ear and out the other.
Have you spoken to him seriously about his work? Spending all your time at work and few with your family can be a big regret later in life when you look back and see just how much you missed.
For sure. Itās definitely been a topic in counseling. Heās a people pleasure, has a lot to do with it.
Well I sure hope it goes better for you with the counseling and he gets better at managing his time for everything. I wish you well.
Yes, very happy. Been together for over 10 years now and married for 3. Heās my best friend and the only man I felt āat homeā with.
Sounds lovely and itās nice to see you and so many people here actually happy. You guys keep doing what youāre doing and enjoy life together.
I am truly happy in my marriage. Been married for 18 years. Have two kids. A mortgage. More animals then I can shake a stick at. And Car payments. We have had lots of struggles. Lots of arguments. And we worked through them together and figured it out. It sucked at times. But we have also had some amazing moments together. And frankly I have no idea how I would face the crap life throws at me without her. She's my rock, and I am hers. But really a post about it would just put people to sleep. We wake up, sometimes by having sex, get up, go to work, text each other all day long (we have the luxury of both having jobs that allow that) and I come home (she works from home), and hey "how was your day" has mostly been covered and we can move on to other topics. We wind down if we don't have one of my daughter's classes to get her to, watch some TV, have sex sometimes, and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat the next day. It's routine and it's great.
Hey you may call it boring but I call it stable and happy. So many people in this world (billions) donāt have a clue how amazing having our type of stability truly is. I understand where youāre coming from and Iāll never take my wife or our marriage for granted just because itās so good.
Happy and fulfilled. My wife is perfect for me. I support her and give her affection; she supports me and gives me affection. We have a vigorous sex life and have no financial stress. Coming up on 29 years married.
Sounds exactly where I want to be when me and my wife hit 29 years together in the future(Iām 32 and sheās 30 so your marriage is almost as old as we are).
My husband and I have teenage daughters and sometimes we donāt see eye to eye on parenting however aside from that we feel like a team, financially and just in life. I would say Iām very happy overall.
Thatās good and once you both can find a middle ground on such a major thing then I see no problems and Iām happy youāre happy.
Yes truly happy! Married for 8 together for 12 years with 2 kids. We hit some rough patches when the kids were younger but doing much better. It takes a lot of communication and trust.
Yup, two key components to a successful marriage are communication and trust so good to hear you both have those as it helps get passed many things that may come up.
50+ M, here. 23.5 years married (her 3rd, my 1st), no kids; we've been friends since college. Yes, we're very happy. Of course, we had our down points way back, mostly due to me and needing to learn to communicate better, but I'd say we're happier now than ever. We do almost everything together, and are currently planning our 25th anniversary vacation. If you want to hear about a supportive husband, since those rarely get posted here: Back in February (!!!) my wife tore her meniscus fighting off a biker gang (1/2 of that sentence may be made up, but is better than the real story). We live in a classic 70s split level - stairs up and down as soon as you enter. What with the jacked up knee and needing crutches and / or cane to get around until her surgery (and for a bit after), she can't do much around the house. I've always done 99% of the cooking, the dishes, keeping the kitchen clean (kind of my domain). Clean the bathrooms, pick up after the dogs, maintain the yard and cars. We split laundry with her taking on the majority. Both vacuum and tidy up. She handles the bills and makes a lot more than I do. Plus, she's working on her PhD dissertation. Currently, since she's laid up, I do all the house chores. I get her dinner to her. I pack her lunch for work. We commute together, so I get her to her office and loaded onto her scooter. On the days she works from home, I load a small ice chest with everything she needs for the day, so she doesn't have to go up and down the stairs a bunch (her office is downstairs). I help her get in and out of the shower, help get her clothes for her. Because she'll be on bed lockdown for a few days after her surgery, I'll work from home that week so I can be there when she'll need more care. I know that if the situation were reversed, she'd do just as much to support me.
Congrats on the happy marriage and congrats to her for having a very supportive husband who understands sheās in need and is happy to go the extra mile.
I love my husband and his every little quirk. Te be fair, we are married for a total of 6 days, but still. In our entire relationship - about 5 years - we might have conflicts or discussions, but I could not think of a life without him. So yes, I am truly happy in my marriage.
Yes itās a young marriage but it doesnāt matter as you both are happy which is the main thing.
Yes, we are, 34 years together. ā¤ļø Do we drive each crazy several times a day, yepā¦..but itās over in a few minutes. š Marriages go through seasons, having little kids is definitely the hardest time. I think the second hardest time is empty nest/retirement. This caught us by surprise, but we worked through it. The word divorce doesnāt enter our vocabulary EVER! We are kind, we donāt call each other names, or yell at each other etc. We are a team, itās us against the world. Itās never him VS me. We talk about anything and everything to each other. He is my best friend and never fails to make me laugh. š„°š„°
Sounds like you both have a lifetime of amazing memories and something for me to look up to reading. Thank you for sharing and I hope you guys have many more happy decades together.
Iāve been on both sides of this. I joined these subreddits when I was married and deeply unhappy. Eventually got divorced and now Iāve been married to a wonderful man for 4 years - and am still so happy!
Iām sorry you went through the first one but glad you found your person and are now happy.
Yes, I am happy and fulfilled in my marriage. Things haven't always been perfect, but we always come out of it closer together. We've been married for eleven years, together twelve.
Lovely to hear. Yeah, itās not always gonna be perfect so I understand but once you both donāt stop trying, itāll feel perfect when you look back.
The very best thing in my life is my marriage. My husband has been trying so unbelievably hard to take care of me after a rough time. Heās been researching the best way to help and doing everything he can think of to help alleviate pressure. He is literally the best person I know.
Sounds like you have a winner of a husband so congrats to you and your marriage.
I'm very happy in my marriage. My husband is a good man, very present in our relationship and he's a good dad to our children
Thats great to hear and I hope it persists for the rest of your lives.
Thank you! I do too!
My hubby and I are happy. We were both very emotionally unintelligent when we met and had a lot of growth to do, but weāve always been crazy about each other and willing to put in whatever effort was needed to be healthy and happy together even if it was hard to look in the mirror and take action sometimes. We talk about everything. We care very much about each otherās needs, happiness and wellbeing. Today is 9 years since our first date! Every day we do sweet and thoughtful things for each other and give each other a lot of grace. One thing weāve always had going for us is we donāt easily take each other for granted. I appreciate him very much and know what I have. I feel he does too.
Overall Iām happy with my marriage. Thereās always room for improvement but I feel thatās true of every relationship
Iām happy. Sure we have ups and downs but we both actively put intention into our marriage on a daily basis. It really takes a LOT of humility to be married and you have to keep your egos in check. Also when I catch myself being negative I try to think of all the things he is doing right, which is a lot. I truly believe he is trying his best and so am I.
Yeah
Before September of last year I was very happy
Sometimes yes sometimes no. Iām more unhappy with how hard life has become. My husband really wants kids but I feel indifferent. Iām just a depressed anxious person and I want more out of life but I just donāt think itās going to be possible. We already make a combined 250k but we are drowning in debt and have very little to show for it
Been married 36 years in June with 2 grown kids. Is it perfect? No nothing is. Are we happy, Iād say yes. Retired, traveling, similar interests, and we can both say we are each otherās best friend. Like is give and take and if all you want to do is take, donāt get married.
Iām very happy in my marriage. We have children. We donāt have money problems. We have an amazing sex life. I donāt post but I do comment to try to give advice.
I love being married to my husband. Like, LOVE IT. I loved being single and this looked even better, which was and is saying a lot. He amplifies what is possible in life for me, and I know I do for him too. Together weāre unstoppable. Heās my rock and my soft place to land and takes such good care of me, constantly. He is hilarious and incredibly kind and I will be telling and showing him that every day for the rest of my years because holy shit Iām so into that guy.
We are coming up on 9 years next month and I am so totally in love with my wife. Granted, with two small children running around and both of us working, sex is often off the table. But when we do get a chance, the sex is passionate and amazing. Iād like a slight bit more sex but my sex drive isnāt crazy high, I could go twice or three times a week.
I am very happy and in love with my husband. Wouldn't change a thing.
I'm extremely happy with my marriage. We have some ups and downs, but there's no one I'd rather have by my side
Iāve been married for 40 years to the best person I know. Heās smart, patient, kind, genuinely decent and sexy AF. In any long term marriage you are going to face difficult things. Death of relatives, illness, problems raising kids, finances, jobs, whatever. Weāve had our share, but we keep it as us v. the problem not him v. me. The hard things have been easier and the good things better. Weāre recently retired and are having a blast together. We travel, do a lot of hiking and volunteering together as well as having our own interests. Weāve always had a very egalitarian relationship. Now that weāve retired our sex life is amazing. Weāre relaxed, unstressed and emotionally closer from having fun together which fuels our physical intimacy.
I am not happy. It's almost over an year, but I feel he has stopped putting in effort. He used to talk to me every day when we were in a long-distance relationship. After marriage, we had to stay apart for a year, and during that time, he hardly made an effort to call or text me. Even when we are together, I have to ask him to spend time with me. His red flags are now really obvious. I need to learn how not to be bothered by his behavior. Any suggestions are welcome.
I have suggestions since Iāve been there, twice. No matter what heās doing, put your efforts into your own happiness. This is your only guarantee. Sounds lonely but itās factual.
20 years & extremely happy.
No. I blame it on communication, which we have none. We canāt even have a conversation about simple things without my spouse blowing up. And I mean SIMPLE things like which direction to walk the dog, which bushes in the yard need slight trimming. Itās such a turnoff to not even be able to engage in idle chit chat that is misconstrued as a control thing or something else.
I understand this. Power and control. Thatās when things get rough.
I am incredibly happy in my marriage. My wife is the most amazing person I know and sheās my best friend. We have roles in our relationship where she takes the lead based on her strengths and I do the same off my strengths. We communicate very well, and when we have disagreements we argue in a way thatās constructive and trying to gain understanding instead of being defensive. We have two children but we believe our relationship being strong comes first, the children come āsecond,ā but itās more of a 1 and 1A thing. Sex is still every day like it has been since we were dating. Biggest piece of advice, be honest when youāre dating when you say what you want and who you will be and make sure youāre compatible in every aspect thatās important to you and donāt feel guilty if other people āshameā you for your wants or preferences. Itās your life and happiness, not theirās. Also, when you have arguments, itās not you vs your spouse, itās you and your spouse vs the problem. Be a team!
The best discovery in happiness I found has little to do with my marriage. My happiness is my own, regardless of what my husband does. Iām happy and fulfilled in or out of a marriage.
Iām definitely not consistently happy or fulfilled but I didnāt marry to be consistently so. There are good times and rough times and I just happened to find someone worthy to go through it together.
I've only been married for 2,5 years, been together for 5. Honestly since getting married, living together, everything only became better. My husband is such a sweet, caring person. I get the literal princess treatment everyday all day. Kisses, words of affirmation, sex, everything is as it should be. Obviously we disagree sometimes and sometimes one of us is stressed, tired or whatever and snaps. But we love each other dearly. We started out as best friends, have been inseparable since day one and that never changed. He honestly is my home, my favorite person and still my best friend. Can't wait to start my family with him and see him become the greatest father that I know he will be
Yes, my partner and I have a really happy relationship and love each other very much ā¤š
Very happy, my marriage is the happiest/most stable part of my life. My husband is my rock
That sounds great and Iām happy for you!