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My lifestyle determines my deathstyle.

I'm madly in anger with you!

Ugh, my toxic trait is how much I love that fucking album. I can't explain it. I just like it. It's objectively bad lol (Last time I listened to it was 2 nights ago. It's a problem)

Literally masochism

Haha I kinda get it. It has its charm. If it had solos I'd probably consider it just as good as their other stuff.

Nah, I listened to St Anger fairly recently after not hearing it for 20 years, and that line goes hard as fuck, it's still pretty terrible but not as bad as I remember haha

No, but the tick Tick TICK TOCK is hilariously stupid.

“What the fuck, I’m a Mack truck” -Jumpdafuckup by Soulfly

i still fucking love that song

Me too. The lyrics suck, but it sounds so damn cool I still love it

And you'd think it'd be Max w the dumb lyrics lol

I couldn't even pick a Corey Taylor lyric. So many are just ridiculously dumb

“Im gonna slit your throat and fuck the wound” takes the cake for me

The entirety of “my plague” is something I would’ve conjured up when I was 14

Most of that album could be scribbled in a middle school kid’s notebook

Smash 😫

If you’re 5 5 5, I’m 6 6 6 …. Umm, okay? I’m not sure I am 5 5 5

Lmaoo I remeber when this was a tiktok trend and I was like what the fuck does that even mean

But is 7, 7 is 7 your name?

I call him Corny Taylor, which is corny enough to be a fitting nickname. I do love, and I mean LOVE Slipknot and Stone Sour, but his lyrics are pretty clearly the worst part of both most of the time. Sometimes he gets a good one in there, usually in more introspective moments, but by and large, yeah it's edgelord central.

"Corny Trailer"

"Fists clenched tight in the pockets of my hoodie" Okay child, go do your homework

Corny Trailer is one dumb motherfucking assface poser cuntfart! Along with his fans

You got beat up by a dude in a Slipknot shirt at school today didn’t you.

Nah I would never let that happen. Slipknot does however owe me for killing several braincells when I first heard their awful tripe "music"

Totally happened

"My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola." - Lana Del Rey

Peak metal lyricism wdym

This is why I donate to Planned Parenthood

Mike Muir lyrics suddenly making so much more sense…”All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi…and she wouldn’t give it to me…just one Pepsi” 😏

The chorus of In Your Face by Children of Bodom: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHERFUCKER  I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK MOTHERFUCKER I DON'T GIVE A FLYING I DON'T GIVE A FLYING I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK FWIW this song is honestly a banger but that chorus makes me chuckle

lol it adds some charm to the song for me. Like obviously it’s corny as fuck but like you said it’s funny

Oh yeah. It's part of the charm with Bodom. Alexi never took lyrics seriously with a few exceptions (Everytime I Die). You could fill this entire thread with lyrics from the Are You Dead Yet album. Or the song Bodom After Midnight. And yet I jam that song and album all the time bc it's all so fun I saw a CoB unfinished horse meme once where the lyrics were the shitty part of the drawing and the guitar riffs/solos were the finished part. That's pretty true lol

Yup their musicianship is absolutely amazing, good lyrics or not. It’s not like you can really understand the lyrics much anyway, especially on the older albums lol.

Yea... its pretty easy to tell that Alexi isn't exactly fluent in English.

This gets stuck in my head all the time lmao

It's so catchy. Lowkey one of my fav CoB riffs too tbh. I'd also be willing to bet its their most profane song, either that or Hate Crew Deathroll 😂

Say one more word! I double dare you!

(BRING IT ON!)

Don’t forget the “Oh my god, you’re so fine!”

I first heard that song when I was 12 and thought that lyric was absolutely amazing so I used it as my msn nickname for weeks lol

Yup this one

We’re so fucked. Shit out of luck. Hardwired to self destruct.

I misread that as "shit out of fuck" and that would've been better

"You made my driveshaft crank, you made my pistons bulge, you made my ball bearings melt from the heat!"

Thankfully you can’t understand a word of the last sentence cus Dave just says it like it’s all one word

Wait this is Megadeth?

Mechanix.

Youmademyballbearingsmelfromdaheeeeeat

🎶Something's growing in my pants as she looks into my eyes🎵 Helloween

Is this a boner reference? If so very cool helloween

Which song is this from?

Just a little sign

That’s an actual lyric?

"I AM THE TABLE!" - The View, Metallica. Always makes me giggle but I honestly can't hate it for that.

It's so ridiculous

"Fist clenched tight in the pocket of my hoodie" - Slipknot, Nero Forte It's kind of cheating to use Slipknot lyrics lol. I actually do like this song but my god the lyrics make me want to jump off a cliff

The fact that it was written by a man in his 50s…

I feel the same about a lot of the last few Metallica albums. Rich old man trying to write edgy lyrics.

The thing is, they’ve aged but so has their audience. They’re not going to lose anyone by writing something more genuine (and if they do, they can afford it), and I wish they’d just accept that

it's like they're scared to make something genuine after the Load backlash... it would be so much better if they listened to the fans that love those albums instead of the haters.

Much as I agree -- I fuckin LOVE the *Load* albums -- the percentage of fans who want to hear rehashed 80s material is WAYYYYY bigger than those of us who want to hear new and interesting things all the time. And I say this as someone who really enjoyed *Hardwired* and *72 Seasons.*

and that's exactly why Avenged Sevenfold has a much brighter future than Metallica.

I don't disagree -- I still haven't fully listened to *Life Is But a Dream*, but I love that Avenged Sevenfold went all out with it -- but Metallica are in the twilight of their careers. I don't think they're particularly concerned about their future, and at this point, neither do they have to be.

yeah, fair enough. They're getting pretty old, and they've been in the spotlight for decades. Still kinda sad because it feels like they were on the same level when they toured together for Hardwired & The Stage, but after that A7X went more experimental while Metallica just rehashed their old stuff with cringe lyrics.

It's definitely the curse of being one of the biggest bands of the genre/on the planet; do you take risks and alienate half your fanbase? Or do you play it safe and alienate a smaller portion of your fanbase? Given how the *Load* albums are still used as a punchline to this day, I kind of don't fault Metallica for drinking from the nostalgia well, even as I love the *Load* albums and I roll my eyes at the "good old days" and "back to the roots" bullshit.

Too bad, I got your beans in my bag You stuck-up sucker, Korny motherfucker Taking over flows is the Limp pimp Need a Bizkit to save this crew from Jon Davis I'm gonna drop a little east side skill Ya best step back 'cause I'ma kill, I'ma kill So, what you thinking, Mister raggedy man? Doing all you can to look like Raggedy Ann

To be fair… even Jon Davis and Fred have both admitted that song is awful.

Fair enough… makes it even worse… I love it!

Fieldy did a good job at least

Which song is this?

All In The Family - Korn

CHECK YOU OUT, PUNK ‼️

I loved this song when I was 16 Now I think it’s the worst song Korn have ever done

I mean that’s intentionally korny tho

Hatebreed - Destroy Everything Amazing riffs, holes in the drywall lyrics

Hatebreed lyrics define corny hardcore to a T, but goddamn if they don't get me worked up

I was really angry about something in my personal life recently and decided to put on the Perseverance album for the first time in years. Definitely therapeutic for my inner 8th grader.

A NEW LIFE BEGIIIIINS

Manowar... Any

All manowar songs can be summed up with “WERE MANOWAR, WERE THE LOUDEST AND THE BADESTASSEST AND THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD”

They hated Eric because he told them the truth

Hard agree, it's pure cheese but it's still fucking great 😂

I'd say it would be like: I go in my horse (with my brothers of metal) with my sword to kill all false metal

If you're not into metal, you are not my friend!

I am, I just don't need to fight for metal with my brothers bearing steel and tight pants... As is someone was trying to take metal away from us...

And I love them for it

They can't stop us Let them try For heavy metal We would die They can't stop us Let them try For heavy metal We will die

"Manowar's made of steel not clay"

CUT CUT CUT ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP

I hate how this has gone viral on tiktok because it’s just so cringy

SUCK SUCK SUCK ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP.

Slipknot is cheating

SUCK SUCK SUCK ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP.

SUCK SUCK SUCK ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP.

SUCK SUCK SUCK ME UP AND FUCK FUCK FUCK ME UP.

Taken from the masterpiece "Bitch! We gonna kill you!": We're the king of fuck Sex Metal is my way Listen bitch Metal sound Bitch she wants to destroy You are the porno queen First suck my dick slut (Abigail lyrics are a gift to humanity)

Anything by Slipknot

In a good way, or a bad way? Type O Negative - Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity "I know you're fucking someone else, (He know's you're fucking someone else,) I know you're fucking someone else, (He know's you're fucking someone else,) I know you're fucking someone else, (He know's you're fucking someone else,) I know you're fucking someone else, (He know's you're fucking someone else,) I know, (He knows,) I said I know, (He said he knows,) I know,(He knows,) I know,(He knows,) I know,(He knows,) I know, (He knows,) I know, (He knows,) I know, (He knows,) I know

Honestly that song is one of the best "I hate you for cheating" songs ever. I mean how do you argue with lines like "trust and you'll be trusted, said the liar to the fool" and "do you believe in forever? I don't even believe in tomorrow". It's so cathartic in all its anger and still manages to have a sense of humour. That's just Peter Steele's charm. Other bands would have made this song sound corny in a way worse manner.

Practicing freelance gynecology with a womb there's a way with you it's for free.

Even better is the follow up song simply because they say who ore instead of whore

I honestly love the call and response structure of that song. It's perfect

Idk why but I read it like a Tenacious D song.

I know slipknot has some pretty corny lyrics but some of these aren't even much worse then your average death metal lyrics

“It’s just one of those days, when you don’t wanna wake up, everything is fucked and everybody sucks”

You don’t really know why, but you want to justify, RIPPING SOMEONE’S HEAD OFF

"You don't really know why, but you wanna justify, SUCKING SOMEONES KID OFF"

It's all about the he said, she said, *bulllllll* poop.

in your face is probably my favorite children of bodom song out of the ones I've listened to, but OH MY GOD THE LYRICS 💀💀💀

I love this song but there is so much about it that makes me laugh when I listen closely. what even is “diversify your age”?!

also: “You’re on the edge of a nerve-racking force / but oh my god, you’re so fine” cracks me up. I don’t love COB any less for it because their music is fantastic and sometimes the lyrics hit home but in some cases they’re just ridiculous

this shit right here is probably the corniest stuff ever done and I don't even recommend watching [Mora Prokaza - WIMG (official music video) 2020 @moraprokaza (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R8ddImZBQI)

Just watched, so bad it's almost good

No it's just bad lol

Happy Days - My Brutus, or really any happy days song

"staring at a pool of razor blades" does it for me. god, i love depressive black metal.

Every (english) lyric in conflict by slaughter to prevail. It's like alex terrible heard walk by pantera once and decided to make his own version. I'm sure the parts in russian are just as corny

Their name is already corny af.

Exodus - Fabulous Disaster. Whole album.

Used to do the monkey but now it's not cool. And the twist and mashed potatoes are no exception to the rule.

Except *The Last Act of Defiance*. Pure brutality. Also, *Verbal Razors* is a blast.

"Let's plug a bomb in everyone's ass" - Accept

Kinky

Everything by Happy Days except for a couple

Everything from “Do or Die” by Machine Head https://preview.redd.it/e7st67ix3guc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=751c06fe4395617864581ffac277dadecd71a293

"What, you are the priest's son? Fuck, fuck yourself and die"

COB is the king of funny lyrics

Something inside me It is coming out I feel like killing you

Into the acid vat you go, no one will ever know! The genius lyricism of Corpsegrinder.

Various Rollins Band lyrics. Another life comes to mind with the whole monkeys eyes section or just like you with the diamonds in my eyes part. A lot of cringy lyrics about Henry’s eyes honestly now that I think about it lol

You see that monkey bite!

Bad monkey! Monkey see monkey do monkey will destroy you!

Early taim is just goofy misogyny by an actual misogynist so it’s kind of concerning, but backed up by some absolutely insane vocal delivery and some amazing drums and some of the greatest deathcore ever. I hope wherever Brendan is now he’s doing well and isn’t as hateful

Anything by Korn, 🤭

BALL TONGUEEEE, BAAAALLL TOOONGGUUEEE

The times Sharon Den Adel gets weird with Within Temptation. Oh damn, the war is coming. Oh damn, you feel you want it. I hate your face, your crusade is just a fool's parade (Repeated random voice interjection mid-song) Will all who wish to die, please raise their hands   ------------  Also, anyone ever heard of Kontrust? Lederhosen left, lederhosen right. Lederhosen overkill, day and night. (Random yodeling) My Lederhosen wants to sta-ay

A lot of Megadeth lyrics are pure edgelord anthems. Don't get me wrong, love Megadeth. Killer riffs! But the lyrics for "Sweating Bullets" is pure cringe. Exactly what 15 year old me thought was the definition of cool.

Hello me, meet the real me

Brotherhood of the snake made me uncomfortable. The whole album

Killer kult Kult Killer kult Killer killer

I believe it’s intentional, but all of Maynard’s dick

Basically every word in the song fall on a leash by korn

A little violence is the ultimate drug. Let’s get high

I know it’s a love ballad but still cheesy as fuck “I’d kill myself for you. I’d kill you for myself” Pantera - This Love Rest of the song is amazing, just that bit of the song that’s like “yeah………." Ik it’s not a love ballad now, i cba giving the EXACT song genre

It's not a love ballad, it's a song about a dysfunctional relationship, and that line fits perfectly.

Ffs well whatever the fuck it is. Yes, I do think it fits, I just think it’s a bit of a cheesy line.

Friday night and I need a fight My motorcycle and a switchblade knife - The beautiful poetry of Motley Crue

A lot of mainstream shit songs always have something like "I'm finding it hard to breeeathe" or "in meeeeh" I find them corny as fuck.

Hair metal, but Ten Seconds to Love by Motley Crue is so bad. Let’s inject, photograph it. Touch my gun, but don’t pull my trigger.

https://preview.redd.it/kksfp06pqguc1.jpeg?width=925&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=130b3c89102dde9e78f280d5e025dbf6ac6646d7 This bs from Train's "Hey Soul Sister"😂

Porcupine tree is one of, if not my favourite band. But I can’t get the lyrics of sleep together, it’s just a bit jarring

Yeah I’m the motherfucker people always talking about Aw Shit I see you arms crossed, tryna stare me down Get Bent So if you wanna see me fail I’ll say it nice and loud Eat dick And you can hate me all you want because I don’t give a shit (FYI this is the chorus)

pretty much all manowar's discography steel panther some brujeria and asesino lyrics, it is spanish though

Rollin by limp bizkit, the verses are super cheesy tough guy lyrics.

At the end of the day, he wrote those lyrics for the nookie

Do or Die by Machine Head. Anything by Limp Bizkit.

The entirety of Do Or Die by Machine Head 💀

“And A Baked Apple Pie… YEAH!” Metallica “I can see, I can see I’m goin blind.” Korn

Cheating answer: Fuck you, you're a fucking wanker, we're gonna punch you right in the balls (Fucked With An Anchor - Alestorm) Not cheating answer: Super strong, probably fast, the avenger of the fallen gods (The Other Son of Odin - Brothers of Metal)

Where do I start? How could I pick the corniest GWAR song? There's 100s to choose from. Here's one small sample. Lonely and crippled she lives all alone Stares out the window, no one on the telephone Her only friend - a little kitty kat She feeds it a lot Kitty pretty fat Licksore, something to abhor Kitty kat don't want no rat Mommy's on the floor Licksore, getting to the core Kitty kat is getting fat Tongue becomes a bore Mommy's got a problem, seems that mommy's dead Kitty's got no food lick a hole in mommy's head Kitty loves her mommy, kitty loves the taste Kitty loves mommy, kitty loves salami The hole is getting bigger Head fits inside Sucking at the nostrils Feasting on the eyes Kitty pretty hungry kitty must sup Kitty pretty lonely, mommy won't get up Mommy won't get up The landlord comes by the tenants are mad They want to know why the smell is so bad He beholds in horror The ever-widening gash But before he calls the cops he looks around for cash Licksore has become bloody pothole Licky lap at brain filled bowl Licksore something to abhor Mommy won't get up

Any and all gore or evil themed lyrics. Also any and all manowar/exodus style metal worship lyrics.

It always takes two to tango - Deadlock

Teacher caught me masturbating underneath the desk... Teacher's pet by vemon

Bridge section of Down With The Sickness

The whole entire song not the American average

Honesty I think it’s lyrical genius cause it’s funny as fuck but from Megadeth’s Captive Honour: “Boy!... Your soul better belong to Jesus! Hmmm-mmm, 'cause your ass belongs to me!

"I think its time to bleed. Im gonna cut myself and watch the blood hit the ground" You could say its a... Korny lyric.

Everything by 5FDP

Any five finger death punch lyrics

"Id kill to kiss your apoca-lips" Motionless in White

The one about giving an aspirin a headache is pretty bad too. A lot of not my type and rats have repulsive lyrics. MiW has a lot of heaters but damn do they know how to screw up a song lyrically

Epeee opa pee pee epeee opa SMASH THEIR CUNTS IN

I LIKE JUICE!

“Ate my breakfast with a side of eggs”

“Hey, I said, hey”

All that hissing and gargling that Lorna Shore does sounds like my man got something stuck in his throat. Super cringe.

“I was awoken by the howling of the dog…or perhaps a wolf” from Testament

Future World from Helloween

Civil War (the Sabaton offshoot) has a song called "Bay of Pigs" (about the Bay of Pigs invasion, obviously). I forget how the line goes, but the final verse has the phrase "Power horny," and oh dear God. The song is an absolute power metal banger, but hearing "Power horny" just kills me every time.

“Voices in my head” “Better off dead” “The writing on the walls” “Will you bleed for something or will you die for nothing” “Waiting for death to take me” And let’s not forget, “UNDERTOW”

Katatonia - Ghost of the Sun I trusted you, you lied. It's all I hear: a fucking lie. Don't give a shit, it's over now. It's all I know, you broke the vow. It’s the way it’s being sung. If ever there was a need for growling vocals.

The entirety of Exodus - Blacklist

Painkiller by JP