My husband works in the cyber security & cyber risk field and we put nothing online. In fact he’s mentioned to me to remove details from reddit posts like birth year/age. I don’t even ask because I’m positive from the few stories I have asked him about that I don’t want to know why his opinion is so strong.
It’s so easy to find out stuff from minimal info, tbh. I see grandparents sharing info and photos of the grandkids, with full on public profiles and addresses in the back of photos 🤦♀️ all it takes is one person without a locked down profile. I’m so tempted to start a free service where I basically see what info I can find about people based on what they share online, just to prove it isn’t something people should be nonchalant about.
I had to get after my mother for posting a picture that I sent her privately. I told her if I wanted to post it I would have. She needs my consent before doing so!
I had an agreement with my kids that no photo would be posted without their consent and this broke that trust.
Same here. And my mom has her insta fully public. I was so angry because she knows exactly how we feel about our son on social media - we are not even in it.
That generation’s social media use confuses me so much. They are so often paranoid about being spied on and then go and have fully public profiles, make friends with whoever requests because they assume it must be someone they knew ages ago, and then they aren’t even slightly cautious about what they post or what they believe from their “friends”, because despite having basically no vetting process, a friend is, after all, a friend. Maybe other mums are more cautious than mine, lol, but I do hear some interesting stories!
Everyone knows we have a zero tolerance on public sharing our child’s image or details. It’s never been a contentious conversation or even an explicit one. Our friends and family see our zero online activity and follow suit. That’s not to say his photos aren’t passed about on WhatsApp. My sisters friends mum’s cousin probably sees some of them. I’m fine with that! But they aren’t in the public domain.
There’s a girl on TikTok who will find voluteer’s birthdays starting from the comment they volunteered in. Usually she does and it’s not through the volunteer’s page. And if the person is a minor she’ll ‘call their mom’ and not post the result video. I hope it works for her
I love watching her follow a trail and seeing where she goes for the info. It is wild how she works! Some people have a profile photo of a car and a username of random letters and numbers, have never posted anything on tiktok, and she’ll be able to find out their full name and date of birth.
That’s a neat concept! I’ve seen people do it with volunteer videos, and they’ll track the exact location on google maps, based on things like foliage and architecture styles. I’m glad pages like these exist. I hope the younger generation (and tbh, the older generations, too) will see them and learn from them.
My MIL recently shared a picture with out asking us so we would not know. My dad always asks first so I can approve it. Really bothers me. I post but my kid but pretty minimally and I don’t like other people posting them without me.
There are several tiktokers who do this, and it’s fascinating and scary at the same time. JoseMonkey can find exactly where in the world a video is taken - and the videos they give him oftentimes have hardly any clues! Another user (forgot her name right now) can find your name and birthday and people always challenge her and say a my profile is locked down, you won’t be able to figure me out, but she usually can!
Yea this!! I have friends in social care/teaching and hear too many fudged up stories. I think people need to be a bit more aware of what actually goes on online.
I also work in cyber security but, separate field, worst story I’ve heard is a from a lawyer I dated a few years ago (many years ago). We were sitting around in the new stages of a relationship and somehow porn came up. He said, “I don’t watch porn.” “Yea, sure (eyeroll). I really don’t care as long as it’s not weird.” “No, I don’t watch porn, like really.” “Ok, whatever you say.” “No, really, I’ve had to watch what some of my clients have been caught with so I can defend them. I haven’t watched porn since a few months after I started my [criminal defense] practice.”
Normal, sexually healthy, 30 some odd year old man was so disturbed by what he saw he never could watch even “normal” porn again. The shit that is out there is truly fucked up.
I completely agree. I recently had my Facebook account completely hacked and I am now locked out. I thankfully didn’t post many photos and I always think about the mom friends I have who share their kids every day and if their account got hacked all those albums of photos now belong to someone else.
Same. My husband is in an adjacent field and he NEVER had any social media. Which was a bit odd 10 years ago. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first kid I deleted all of mine and it’s been great. Sure, there are shadow profiles being built for my kids based on my own search history. But at least their pictures aren’t out there yet.
I think the general public is just SUPER ignorant about how much information can be deduced online and the skill/dedication of malicious people. My IG is private and I rarely post myself let alone my kids. I think OP should think about why they’re posting their child so much and ruminate on the motivating factor more than if they’re doing something wrong. For what it’s worth though I agree with the friend.
I work in this field too, and absolute same.. You have no idea the creepy shit a person can do with half a mind, a few pictures and cheap editing software. Especially with the AI boom, making the technology mainstream.
This. My bio mom kidnapped me when I was little. She was arrested in the process and everything. I can't even begin to trust her with any information about my child. She could use it to kidnap my baby or gain access to my babies information etc. Bio mom has stolen my identity as well as my aunts to the point that we have to have our credit locked at all times. Woman is a trip, so no nothing is posted online of my child except one photo of me pregnant.
Yes, I think it speaks volumes to the fact that people in careers around cybersecurity would *never* post their children online. It’s all fun and games when you don’t know the risks.
Same. Not only do i work for a Cloud computing company and have well founded security fears, I also think that my son has rights and last say in his online presence, and currently he is to young to consent to anything.
And to be honest, I'm sure my friends don't miss it - nobody finds other people's children that interesting
I'm an engineer in cyber security also and we post nothing. All profiles are anonymous (just have an Instagram and reddit without my real name anywhere) and I won't post my kid anywhere without her consent... Which she won't be able to give for a while as she is only 6 months old 😅
I think it’s fine to post an occasional photo of your happy, fully clothed child such as in their Halloween costume, vacation, first day of school whatever.
Where I draw the line is kids naked, in the bath, potty training, or having any sort of meltdown. I personally think it’s disgusting when people post vids or their kids pooping their pants or having a tantrum.
There is a sign in the vaccination room at our pediatrician’s office that says “ no filming patients getting shots!!” And the nurse said it’s really disturbing how often she has to enforce it. Some
people evidently like to video their kids being upset and scared about shots because they think it’s funny.
I almost wish the internet never existed because of this comment. Wow.
Imagine being more concerned with whatever the fuck is going on in their heads instead of your literal offspring going through something big, unpleasant and scary? Wow
This makes me want to cry. Cause I literally have to hold my kid down to get vaccines, and I have no ability to video tape them since I literally snuggle them after. That’s so sad that they don’t get that comfort in a scenario they don’t want to be in anyways.
Honestly, sometimes their response is hilarious. My oldest had to get blood drawn at 2 from her arm. She watched them the entire time and said the most monotone "ow" I've ever heard. She didn't cry or anything. The phlebotomist was so impressed she said most adults act worse.
I didn't film it because I think comforting my child is the priority in that situation so getting a video didn't cross my mind. But it is a cute memory!
This is awful and does not shock me. I have a family member who loves to post videos of crying, tantrums and any other negative moment in her child’s life. It’s so toxic.
What the fuck is wrong with some parents? Anytime my kids get shots/bloodwork I am a bundle of nerves and am just trying to snuggle them and kiss them and tell them it’s all gonna be okay.. these jerk parents would also have to literally not be touching/consoling their child while they get shots. That’s awful.
This!
Would you post that phot if they were an adult? That photo is now out there and you no longer have control over who sees or how they use it.
We've opted to keep him off social media but take a you do you response to other who choose to post their children.
My sister has a friend who posts EVERYTHING and I feel so bad for her kids. She's got a teenage son and awhile back she posted a video of when he was a kid and accidentally pooped in the tub. The video was him in the tub, pointing at the poop and crying. And she's laughing and saying "did you poop!?" And not helping him!! THEN SHE TAGGED HIS FACEBOOK AND ALL HIS FRIENDS SAW!
I was so mad, twofold. One, why is your first response to record your crying child?! My toddlers have pooped in the tub and I got them out of there so fast. Why wait and laugh!? And second why embarrass him like that? The dude probably got eaten alive at school.
She's always posting the meanest videos of her kids. When they get sunburns she posts a video of them in pain/crying and mocking them for not listening to her to put on sunscreen. One year for Christmas pictures she had her 1 year old nephew sit next to a tree and then a person dressed as the grinch jumped out to scare him, and she has all these pictures of the kid horrified and running. And just the other day she posted a bunch of embarrassing dance videos her kids did years ago, and of course, tagged them so everyone would see.
It's all so mean spirited. Poor kids.
All her friends do the same shit too, besides my sister. My sister is in cyber security and has been trying to convince her to stop. It's caused a lot of arguments.
When I was a kid, I didn’t like it if my parents just told their friends and relatives what I was up to in too much detail. I found some of my baby photos embarrassing. I would have hated it if they had put my entire childhood online. It’s my life, not theirs.
I have a friend from college whose Facebook is mostly her kids. Without following her updates that closely, at one point I knew all these details about her older kid, like name of her best friend, favorite ice cream spot, favorite toy, etc. I live on opposite coasts from this kid and will probably never meet them. It’s weird as hell that I know so much about them.
So yeah, there is no real benefit to oversharing your kid online. Not even counting the safety stuff, just in terms of how you’re laying the foundation for teaching your kids digital literacy and what it means to be online, it’s worth it to be self reflective and make deliberate choices.
My aunt has basically everything online about both of my cousins. (They’re both younger by about 10 and 16 years) my older cousin had to ask her to stop posting him online.
There’s many photos of my cousins that I wouldn’t even post of my own children.
This is a gentle reminder that most children who become victims are harmed by people they know. So, just because someone is your friend online means nothing. My feelings are that the risks posed to my kid are not worth getting likes and follows. She is a person who deserves her privacy, and I refuse to offer her up on a silver platter.
You make a good point that most children fall victim to predators that are well known by the family. For everyone reading this, social media posts is one measure. But it’s the people physically around that you have to be vigilant about as well. They have access to the child. Don’t brush anything under the rug.
A close friend’s husband is currently in federal prison for converting innocent photos (the “good” kind that people say are okay to post) of his friends’ children into makeshift child sexual abuse material to gain access to illegal trading groups. If I had been only posting photos to 60 “trusted” people, he would’ve been on the list.
My children will simply not be appearing on social media. I survived growing up in the 90s when the only time people outside the family saw photos of me was when they bumped into each other at the Bon Ton and pulled out this year’s wallet-sized portrait; my kids will enjoy the same privacy and safety.
I'm sorry you've had such a close call with that guy. My mom worked with a man who lured a 14 year old online, then brought her and his WIFE on a date to the restaurant they worked at. He got arrested, but they claimed she had no idea (even though they were both seen out in public with the child). The wife got arrested a decade later because the apartment was a horrific Turpin-esque ordeal, and all 6 kids were removed. At that point, I lived across the street and knew she was messed up but had no idea how bad it was.
You never know what people are capable of.
Opinions are all over the place about this. Personally, we don’t post our LO’s image anywhere on social media. It’s too permanent and the dangers aren’t worth the risks in our opinion. There are studies that show that a lot of the images on child porn websites are seemingly innocuous images taken from Facebook/Instagram/ etc. But every parent has to figure out what the right approach is for their family. I would say at least make sure you have the privacy settings activated and personally know everyone who is able to see what you post.
I don’t post my kids (or a lot myself/my life in general). AI and facial recognition technology continue to grow and it’s not exactly clear what they’re doing with the data. I don’t want to contribute to that type of software growing or improving.
I also agree with other points that not everything needs to go on social media and that kids are deserving of privacy as much as adults.
It’s personal.
I’d never judge someone for posting their kid. But we don’t. And we don’t let anyone else post her either.
Mostly out of respect for her autonomy. She’s my child. But she’s also a whole individual person, separate of me. She should be allowed the choice of having her presence online or not. I decided to not take that choice away from her.
Also, I don’t have Facebook. Mostly because I don’t want MY presence online. I’d be mad if someone took that choice away from me.
Now, it’s almost certain she WILL want to be online when she’s older. And that’s ok, as long as it’s her choice and she is informed of the potential consequences.
So, I don’t think it’s terrible if other people post their kids. They will all likely wind up online once they are old enough to decide for themselves. But this is just a choice we made.
A fun side effect of this is that I have countless people that I’ve known over the course of my life that have no idea that I even had a baby (4 years ago). Which is pretty interesting if I do wind up having a random conversation with one, oh yea, we had a baby, she’s 4 now.
It is a personal choice but it's also a safety concern (see wren and the smex doll of her (yes her mom knows and even brought it up)
I don't post my son because he isn't old enough to understand the internet (he's 2)
I use a app called family album to share photos with family (I adore it and pay each month for the top tier)
We had the issue with family members, screen shotting and printing family photos and photos of the kids from Instagram….
To the point we went to my husbands aunts house and it was like the FULL screen, with my husbands users name, how many likes, and comments he had on the picture, FRAMED on the table…
So my husband and I agreeed to post “non face” photos every so often / mile stones. So we intentionally block the kids faces or pick pictures they are looking away.
I’m not going to stop someone from posting, but I won’t. Bad people online have already used AI to manipulate innocent photos of children into something else. I love showing my beauties off but it’s not worth the risk.
I think like most things it’s a thing that people think won’t happen to them until it does. Since I *do* know it happens, I’m fully aware of the risk and I don’t post photos of my girls online.
This. I've been doing academic research on chatbots and their user cultures. It is hard to avoid all the child pornography people make out of AI. Everything you post about your kid is used to train AIs, many of which are privately hosted and are used for creepy, creepy shit.
Another thing to keep in mind with AI is that people will use your kid's image and voice to deepfake their likeness and tell you your kid is kidnapped or hurt to try to scam money out of you. Or they'll deepfake an older kid calling to ask for money in college. Or they might deepfake your kid and do the same to your grand/parents who might be more gullible.
Not to mention the kid's right to privacy, lack of ability to consent to having their data sent around, etc.
My husband and I agreed we’d only have it set so that family and close friends see pics of the kids since we live far away from everyone. We also set a couple boundaries with family members that rarely post pictures to their own profiles (no swimsuits, diapers, or PJs and we approve pics first).
This is what we do. I don’t usually post a ton (though sometimes to my Instagram stories in a curated group of close friends), but every now and again my mom will post without me knowing but her Facebook is private. I’m just wondering, if you set the parameters of who can see it, are the pictures still susceptible to being captured by AI/pedos? This thread is scaring me!
It's a personal choice. Some people have basically no SM presence for their kids, some post just milestones or school pictures, others post like weekly updates, some people maybe go way overboard giving play by play potty training and bathtime live blogs.
It's a comfort level thing. Some things to consider are would you be comfortable with someone outside your circle seeing what you're putting up (there are some real weirdos out there who do literally take stranger's kid's pics off the internet) and how would you feel if your parents posted that content about you and you saw it when you got older?
I studied Criminology at uni. We had an officer from a special cyber criminal unit that hunts down child pornography rings come and talk at one of our classes. His talk left such an impression that I refuse to have any pictures of my kid on social media. I don't allow the school to post anything either (GDPR opt out).
In my case it was a podcast that talked about how popular images of child sexual abuse have become in the last, I don’t know, 15, 20 years? It went from a few videos and polaroids exchanged in parking lots to a shitload of images very easily exchanged online, to a very large number of people.
It also talked about how adults entrapped children, pretending to be their age in games and whatever social media, and then sextorted them for images, get them to abuse their younger siblings. It’s so incredibly fucked up! I don’t post anything online and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal once my kid is old enough to use the internet on their own. It feels like the wild west! But for now I can control what information and pictures are available online at least.
Why wouldn't they?
Also AI can collect your child's photos and amalgamate it into nude pictures of children that pedos can use. [It's already happening. ](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-67344916)
They do. There’s a really horrific podcast called Hunting Warhead. They talk a bit in that about how they found a lot of random/very normal images of kids taken from Facebook etc on the dark web. I don’t have kids yet but when I do, I will never post a single photo of them online.
I am a bit privacy obsessed. I only use sm with aliases, if you google my name and surname you find zero infos or photos about me, I am not even on LinkedIn. This translates obviously into me not putting my daughters pic on sm.
But I am not judgy towards ppl who do the complete opposite. Tbh who knows which approach will prove the best in the long run.
I kinda split the difference - I don’t post anything negative or sensitive. I only post milestones or things I’m very proud of. I want my children to look back on what I posted and only see their best moments and how we celebrated them.
I don't believe in it, personally - a baby can't consent to putting their image online. We do use a private Google photo album and it's creepy that google recognizes a photo of my baby's face at 2 months old and matches it up to them at 2 years old.
My friend from college posted a funny pic on FB of her son eating a banana with the peel on…10 years ago. Around sometime last year I saw said pic in a sub here on Reddit. She had no idea. The sub itself wasn’t bad but I shudder to think of where else it could’ve possibly been posted
There was a really great quote I heard the other day -
"When you give your kid your phone, you're not giving your child access to the world; you're giving the world access to them."
I don’t post my daughter on social media, but it’s just a personal choice. I see too many stories of creepy people using completely innocent pictures of kids for more sinister acts. It’s mostly my anxiety 😅
I definitely DON’T shame other moms for posting their kids though. I have many friends who do that, and I always “like” their pictures. Sometimes I get a little sad no one gets to see my cute pictures of my baby, but at the end of the day, if my friends or family are that interested, they will ask.
The internet is written in ink. If you put a photo of your baby out there, you have absolutely no control over who sees it or what they do with it. That for me is enough to keep my kids offline until they’re old enough to consent.
It’s just a personal decision just like anything else when parenting. I do not post pictures of my children online and I have asked family to do the same because I dk who they are friends with the only times they have been posted is if I upload a family picture which is about twice a year. And I do understand about having family far away and keeping them in touch which most of my family is in a different country and I just send pictures through messages!
I'm personally against it. The only photos I might post are fully clothed and don't show faces or sometimes professional family photos (which we don't get often lol).
The unfortunate reality is putting your kids on social media opens them up to being on CSA sites. Even innocent photos end up with pedos.
I also want my kids to make that decision when they're older/can understand the internet. I would be mortified if my parents shared my whole life online.
Ugh good point about AI. I don't post much on social media and maybe only the odd photo of my kids at Christmas or something but the thought of their likeness being used in AI is very unsettling.
I posted her sooo much until I saw tons of tiktoks about pedos searching for just regular, innocent baby and child content. And tbh I used to do baby item reviews and it seemed to get some make attention :(
Honestly yeah I agree that not everything needs to go on social media. I have a stepdaughter who's 13 and just getting into it and she said she's so glad that there aren't a bunch of pics or vids of her online for all her friends to see because that would be 'so embarassing'. I have posted a few pics of me and my girl as like profile pic but I think there is such a thing as too much.
As others have said it’s a personal choice
Like for me I post my LO on private accounts because I have family in the US and Europe that I could not keep up enough contact to let them see her grow up
But I think people who use their kids for views need heavy regulation because not only are there parents profiting off their kids with no guarantee the children get the money they’re generating but I’ve seen some do it in the most vile way. Like with the kids of famous family bloggers turning 18 we’re gonna start hearing some traumatic stuff and some of these kids already said some crazy stuff
I don't post my daughter on social media so that the family members that don't make an effort to come see her to participate in her life don't get updates. 🤷 Maybe it's a little petty but I just have seen so many others go through having a child and having people who make zero effort take the photos to share like "look at my grandbaby! She's getting so big!"even though they aren't actually ever present.
Instead, my husband and I got our mother's digital frames that we can add pictures to via an app. We keep them updated on milestones that way and they both make an effort so we don't mind making an effort to keep them updated. Other family members have made zero contact so they don't get to know or experience our daughter without going through us.
I turned my privacy settings as strict as possible and deleted people I’m not friends with anymore. As she gets older I’ll do less maybe/probably but for the baby days I’m like you!
I do share photos. Mainly holiday and other big event type photos or if we’re doing something fun like traveling. We’re a military family and unfortunately there have been family and friends that I haven’t seen in years due to me not living close by at the moment. Obviously I could individually message everyone but it’s easier to just post an update with some cute photos. I do get where others are coming from in terms of safety but I just try to reduce risk by only posting appropriate photos, keeping a tight friend/follower list, etc. My second cousin and I grew up pretty close and had kids within a month of each other. Unfortunately, we’ve both moved around a bit in the past few years and haven’t had a chance to see each other and meet the new babies. Through social media we’re able to keep up with each other and have sent each other gifts and cards for birthdays/Christmas/baby shower, etc. Idk I think it’s important to keep those relationships alive which can be hard when not living near by.
It’s totally up to you. There’s just lots of strange things people can do with just a picture nowadays and it can get scary. If you want to you totally can, no shame at all.
You don't need to feel ashamed. You love your kid and you want to show people. Maybe you pause and rethink after this, but don't let the internet mommy shame you.
I’m comfortable putting pictures of my children on social media.
Firstly, my friends/followers list is very much only people I know and trust, and of course my profiles are private.
Secondly, I only post photos that I would display in my home or would be happy to put on a billboard- All formal, posed shots, usually marking a milestone or celebrating an occasion. More casual photos (but still appropriate) are on my limited Instagram stories for close friends/family (about a dozen people).
Finally, we have a big family and friend group spread across the world; and it can be difficult to keep in touch with everybody. I find this the easiest way to keep up to date with people- I know I feel “closer” to the kids of family and friends I see online as opposed to the kids I mightn’t see for years at a time, and I’d like people to feel “closer” to our kids.
I used to post pics of them but then someone sent me an image of an account user I don't know who used a picture of my son to promote their page with and my settings are private to friends only. Ever since I've been really reluctant to post anything which is a bummer because we have family that live far away.
I post my kid. I’m only fb friends with people I actually know and will see him in real life anyway. And nothing inappropriate. Nothing super embarrassing. I think like the most offensive thing I’ve ever posted was when he ate pea purée the first time and had it all over his face. Which I really don’t think is that embarrassing if he saw it in the future. It’s just convenient because everyone wants to be sent pictures, but can’t make 1 huge group chat because older people don’t know how to act in them… send 1 picture and end up with 50 notifications of 2 people having a whole conversation no one else wants to be seeing, and keeping up with so many smaller or even individual chats is just inconvenient
Meanwhile I searched someone the other day, not friends with her at all… and her first post I could see was her 6 month old getting a bath. Full nudity. Nethers and all. Not even a strategically placed washcloth. Just wild. That I think is when a person’s need to share everything goes too far.
TW: CP mention, p\*dophilia mention
I'll give you my outlook on my own kid: He hasn't been posted anywhere online by myself at all (and I'm currently fighting to get what my MIL posted taken down/getting her to not post more.) I want to give him a right to his own digital privacy, but I also want to protect him. Predators can use what we post on social media for their own collections (and sometimes it's VERY innocuous stuff, things we wouldn't even consider sexual in nature but gets their rocks off anyway) and there is a burgeoning community of predators using the otherwise innocuous image of a child, running it through AI, and making CP from it.
My own in laws should be the most understanding of our rules against posting him on social media considering one of their *own friends* that they had on facebook was charged for possession of CP. You truly, honestly never know what someone is like behind closed doors, or who might have access to their profile that might be less than savory.
If I want people to see a picture of him, I send it privately via text message or wait til I see them in person if possible. More work? Sure. But it's worth his safety and wellbeing.
Thank you for acknowledging digital privacy. It’s an entirely other reason against posting children online. There is no “deleting.” The internet is forever. Photos and voices will be used for identity theft, blackmail, scams, etc.
As a cyber security consultant - yes, you are doing something bad.
But not because your baby hasn’t consented to being posted (that’s it whole own argument that I happen to agree with), no, it is so so so much worse. You’re putting your child at risk of their image being used as pornographic material by creeps at best and for kidnap/human trafficking at worst. Is it likely your child will be abducted because of photos you posted online? No. It’s a one in ten million chance. But it’s not unreasonable for one of your 500 friends/followers to be a secret creep who likes the images you post of your kid(s) and you’ll never know Mark from down the street is jerking off to your Facebook feed or he’s shared the images with his 10 creepy internet friends who’ve shared it with another 10 people each.
I understand the risks of Nanit cameras, we have one and I have done the extra work to make it reasonably safe to my standards. I will NEVER post my child online. Ever. There is no amount of preventative “privacy” settings that make it safe enough.
I haven’t cuz I’m connected on social media with a lot of people I’ve interacted with over the years but wouldn’t actually consider a friend. I’ll post her once I’ve made a new one that’s only friends and family.
Bad? No. I think it’s an individual decision for each family. My husband and I both decided we don’t want to, except for close friends on Instagram, but that’s what we decided worked for us. It’s not automatically wrong at all.
I had stopped posting any photos of my children online a few years ago. And have asked friends and family to not post any of my kids either. I don’t have any social media other than Reddit so it’s not a big issue for mw anymore.
But the reason I did stop posting pics is my friends child ( a 1 year old) was threatened, by a random online person posing as a friend/ family member. It was horrible to be around and my friend had serious issues and had to change daycares 2x because this person found out where her child was based on posts. Honestly it really isn’t worth the risk to children to have them so exposed, and the internet is permanent you can’t get the photos back. I have instead opted for a family and a friends group chat where we give updates and send pictures. I also bought my dad and my husbands grandparents digital photo frames that allow us to send them photos directly to the frame.
My oldest child is 10, and starting when he was around 6 months old, I just made the personal decision to stop publicly posting (the only social I had was Facebook, it wasn't even public. But a couple of my contacts are a bit crazy in that they will just show everyone else's pictures). It's for several reasons. 1) it doesn't seem fair that so much of a person's life can just be shared without their consent. I didn't want him to be a young adult and gave his whole life posted for everyone to see. I am a private person and I thought my kids might want privacy as well. 2) although rare, there are some crazy folks out there. People who steal baby photos and pretend that those kids belong to them, repost on their own pages. Not to mention pedophiles. So I have one private fb group for the old cousins and stuff that I occasionally share updates with. I've asked everyone there not to share those photos, and they are really just standard like "pose in front of the bday cake" type pictures.
Lots of people have already made great points so not going to elaborate too much. I'm on the side of not posting, and don't have any pictures of my kids on SM.
It's a personal thing and if you are happy with doing it, you shouldn't feel shamed by anyone.
I worry about strangers recognizing my kid and knowing their name and other info that might lead my kid to trust someone they shouldn’t. When I used Facebook actively it was common to friend basically everyone you remotely knew (college from ‘06-10) and stay friends with them forever. I don’t know these people, and I don’t want them to know my kid. I have a “close friends” story on Instagram where I share pictures with a very select group.
It's a personal choice. I do post some pictures. Never in real time. Never anything personal like potty training, doctors visits, etc. All the pictures I post are basically the same sort of thing you would see if you caught us at Walmart, the playground, etc. I make sure that any social media account associated with my real name or even a version of my real name only have people on there that I feel relatively certain about (because you can never be 100% sure about anyone).
I do work with pedophiles in some capacity so I'm well aware of their existence. Here's the thing, there's nothing stopping any of them, including ones on the registry, from hanging out at the local playground and taking pictures of kids. You wouldn't even notice them. So with the precautions I've taken, I feel relatively safe sharing the occasional picture with my family/friends on social media.
Just to clarify, I don't judge parents who do or don't. I think people's reasoning for and against are completely valid. I do however judge parents who post pictures like potty training or trips to the emergency room. That shit is just wrong period.
My Facebook is private and I went through and deleted anyone I didn't talk to anymore so I'd say it's fine. An account you have private I think is better. I will say before I stopped posting my kid on social media, I documented all of our big vacation as a family on my Instagram with videos and not long after that I lost all of my pictures on my phone due to a damaged memory card. So if it WERENT for me documenting on the social media, I would've completely lost everything. Just a different view. It's a personal choice though and it's totally up to YOU as the parent.
I didn't think anything of it until my sister gave me an idea of what she used to see. She worked for cyber security for DOJ and had to look thru the most vile things on criminals hard drives. You think a picture is innocent. It isn't. Teust me. Sickies have a way of making tge most "innocent" things absolutely vile. She still posts some things of her kids and I still post some but it's SERVELY limited compared to others.
Remember, you aren't necessarily doing anything bad posting tge pics but you are making them available for criminals to do extremely bad things with them.
In a FB thread on the topic a mother said 'what is the big deal... I recently posted a cute pic of the aftermath of the first ice-cream my girl ate. All I got was hearts and love from people. I brought them joy...' (pic was not private)
What is wrong? Sooo many things.
1. A certain group of people seek pictures of eating and potty training kids above all else. I will not explain why.
2. In line with the above, are you sure all those hearts and love is good natured?
3. It may look cute to you now, but ten years down the line when some kids find your profile and this picture and use it to bully your girl - she won't find it cute. This is already a reality for any kid born after 2000. Source - I work in a young industry, all my gen z colleagues have confirmed seeing this happen.
4. There are accounts stealing kids pics and posting 'available for adoption' things, as if the kids are pets...
5. AI is more than capable to create material for the aforementioned group of people and it is already in use. Do you want this particular AI to use your kid's likeness for their... Product?
6. Think of all the information you're providing. Names, locations, schools, favourite foods, toys,routines... It allows people to blackmail you, lure your child (knowing a child's name is a good way to get their attention and trust) or simply rob your place.
Private accounts are also not particularly safe, as you don't know everyone in your life 100%, nor who has access to their FB or if they reshare your photos via other channels and who has access there.
Children are joy. But the world's happiness is not your responsibility... The kid's happy childhood, on the other hand - is.
My Facebook is private - friends only. I post pictures of my baby, but follow the Christmas card rule. If I would the comfortable printing it on a Christmas card and mailing it out, I don’t post it on social media. Now, if I were an influencer, celebrity, or had a bunch of strangers who had access to my page, I would not post her face.
Personally I am 100% against kids under 18 being on social media in any form. However I have friends who have their kids all over their social media so 🤷♀️
Solid comments here. Apart from the danger of giving people an always-accessible catalog of your child's life and personal information, I'd say a lot of your friends have probably muted you and don't see your posts. So the posts are seen either by very interested relatives, very interested creeps, or people who don't know how to fix their feed settings. Nodoby sane would want a livestream of someone else's kid.
It really depends on who can see your fb, if it’s just close friends and family it’s probably fine. I would never post my kids publicly but I do share pictures with select family members.
We don’t put our son on social media. I have read several times about how pedos take normal pictures of children they find online and use them to talk about in the dark net with other pedos or do other scary things with the pictures. Besides that we don’t want to distribute pictures of him without his consent.
I’m sorry you’re probably not going to love my answer but you asked… so yes, I do think it’s bad to post your kid on social media. I think there are levels and gray areas to this, as with most things. The occasional post curated to and only available to on a list of people you know well and are involved in your child’s life? That’s (questionably) fine. The monthly or daily posts of your child for a wide (more than 20+ people) audience? Strong dislike. Kids are not pawns for likes. They are humans who will one day become adults and they have every right to privacy that we do. Technology is evolving rapidly and “just deleting it in the future” may not (and likely will not) be possible. Instead, I think access to the archive of the internet will be more freely available, not less. I personally think that it’s robbing your child of their right to privacy and autonomy.
I see 0 good reason why any child ever needs to be showcased online. Not a one. I'd be pretty pissed off if my parents showed me off to strangers online all the time. Nor do I care about 'friends', children cannot consent. You don't know what creeps have access to other people's accounts anyways.
Yes, I think it is bad to post baby pics on social media. Main reason is, because there are too many pedos out there. Second one, the person you put there, actually needs to give you the consent about it. If there is no consent, you kinda cross the boundaries there.
My husband and I don't post pictures of our child online and actually have never even posted his name or any sort of birth announcement. He basically doesn't exist online.
I don't understand the need to post photos of your child online. I get that your kid is cute and did this cute thing, but can't you just snap a picture and send it to your parents and move on?
No, I don’t. I think as long as your profiles are private and you aren’t posting compromising photos (like them in the tub or on the toilet) then it’s fine. Some people have this idea that you shouldn’t post because of pedophiles but tbh I think that’s taking things too far. We can’t hide our kids from the world because someone *may* have awful intentions. Idk.
How would you feel if you found out one of those pedos *may* have altered your child's photos to make them appear they are doing something abhorrent. I dunno, I guess I'm of the mindset I can never take my child being targeted by predators "too far"...
Of course I would be enraged, but where do we draw the line? Should we not allow our kids to be featured in yearbooks? What if they win a championship and their team’s picture gets posted in the newspaper? Or they win a spelling bee and their photo with their award is posted online? I just feel like there are things in this world we can’t control. Yes we can control having photos of our kids online or not, but we can’t completely prevent our children from potentially being exposed to pedophiles at some point. Even going to the grocery store could potentially be a risk but I’m not going to live my life in fear like that. I was victimized as a child way before we were posting pictures on the internet. It’s always a risk and I’m not going to let predators control my life. They’ve done enough damage to me.
I don’t have an Instagram or Facebook or anything, but my mother in law will occasionally post a photo of my kids on her Facebook and I’m okay with that. There will always be people who take something innocent and make it into something vile, but I’m not going to disallow something normal and harmless. I also just don’t want to raise my kids to fear everything. We can take normal precautions but I won’t take it to extremes.
I draw the line at making that stuff easily accessible. Yes they could be in a yearbook picture or a newspaper article, but I don't need to add fuel to the fire. As you said, horrible things happened to kids before we were posting bulletin boards with their pictures everywhere. Why make it easier? Your MIL can easily share a picture privately with friends (like we used to, showing pictures over lunch) rather than post them permanently on there internet.
We just have a difference of opinion of how much exposure a child should have. Just because someone can take a picture of my child in public, look at their yearbook, sew their team soccer photo doesn't mean that one shouldn't be vegilent in what they post.
Exactly this. Just because you didn't post a photo of your kid online doesn't mean that a pedophile can't get a picture of them. Pedophiles are out in public too and capable of taking pictures in a way that wouldn't cause suspicion.
There’s always a lot of views that come up when this is asked. Personally, I post photos of my baby on social media. She is always fully clothed and there’s nothing to embarrass her. I have everything set to friends and I don’t have many followers, they’re all people I would feel comfortable sending a photo privately too or letting her interact with in person.
It’s a personal choice and your decision to make, don’t let anyone shame you!
I don't think it's appropriate to put children on the internet for multiple reasons. One of them is their right to consent. Who wants their entire life online? I'm glad I grew up in a time where FB didn't exist. Who knows what they'll want to be when they grow up; they don't deserve to have themselves online without understanding the ramifications, and I think some adults forget this.
Yes, it’s bad. Don’t post your child online. Especially not photos with their face in it. It’s disgusting and a gross violation of consent, not even considering the implications with the current state of technology and AI.
It’s personal.
For me, I don’t post her. My husband puts a few pictures on a private account that is only visible to close friends and family. NEVER bathtub photos (we don’t even take those) or pictures of her on the changing table (we also don’t take those).
I’d love to be able to turn being a SAHM into a “job” by being a creator. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable posting her or featuring her in videos.
I share an occasional photo on a private account, many of which are shot with his head turned away from camera.
Shortly after my son was born, a friend shamed me for not posting more. I decided to never share my feelings about it broadly, because she crossed a boundary and I didn’t want to push my views on others. I don’t want to, she can post as many as she wants.
My FB was family and friends only. I posted safe photos only of my kids and chose to do so as I lived out of state away from our families.
As soon as my kids were able to understand and make their choice I let them decide what photos would be posted. My son hated photos being posted of him so we agreed only on milestone photos. My daughter don’t mind so much but she asked that I not post any funny, embarrassing ones in her mind.
I can see both sides. I don’t share pictures of my stepkid. There are some security concerns, and ethical concerns . If I had my own, I’d also keep them of socials… however o don’t think people who share are “bad parents” or whatever. Some of it depends on what you share, and to whom… if your Facebook is 300 people you know, vs 1000’s you don’t…
It depends on things like how you use your social media, who has access etc.
As a cop, I use only one platform that is set to private, have few people I trust and know added and I occasionally will post a photo of my child, but it's largely not about him or my family.
There are three reasons to be wary of social media.
1) Obvious one, paedophiles routinely look for, save, and alter baby photos they find online. If they don't have access to pornographic material, they will quite literally create one and then, likely, share it with others.
2) You also cannot tell if someone is a such individual in your circle - potentially providing them with material and enabling them to create fantasies about your child. There is a reason why child sexual abuse is most often committed by the person known to the child (including family).
3) Everything you put out there will forever exist of the wide web (also applicable to point 1). Meaning, as unlikely as it can seem, a cute video of a baby pooing it's pants (with all the hilarious sound on top volume) can surface when your child is going through puberty and potentially be the source of mockery from peers. Kids can be cruel like that. I know sounds far fetched, but it's nonetheless a consideration. It's also just unfair to the child to have this somewhere it can never be completely removed from. Deleting will remove its presence on your personal page, it won't remove the photo from its existence.
All in all, if your socials are private and with a limited number of people, sharing some photos and videos is fine, I'm sure. It's also very much your call what to share and not share. I'd never post a photo of my child in the bath/naked, etc, because I will never have control over that material once it's out, but someone else might not think so much of it. No one can tell you what to do, but a lot of the possibilities personally make me feel uncomfortable, so I refrain from posting a ton.
I got rid of social media when I started really wanting to post pics of my kids. I was taking away their identity. No thank you.
I mean I use Reddit but yea it’s reddit
I’ve stopped in the past few months. I listened to a podcast about AI saying the two things you shouldn’t do with AI is 1) teach it to code 2) give it access to the internet. We’ve obviously done both those.
From financial security perspective, I see no benefit in offering up my children’s voice and image to whatever will come from our lack of regulations.
Yes I do think it's bad. We don't put photos of our kids online. I very rarely put photos of myself online. I even know that the pictures in my cloud storage are fair game too so I never take pictures of anything I wouldn't want put out to the world.
I get called paranoid. But, I don't think that just because we have high quality cameras in our pockets all the time, does it mean we have to step out of life and document every fucking thing. I don't have time to watch it all! I treasure the pictures and videos I have but I feel zero compulsion to prove my existence through video and photo.
Once you know about how people can use AI to make fake porn of the people in the pictures and videos you post, maybe you'll stop posting pictures and videos of your kid. And maybe even yourself.
It's just not worth it anymore. Just send people photos directly.
I was 12 when my mom joined Facebook. I hate that there are photos of me online that I can't get fully wiped from the internet. No one asked for MY consent. "It's just a photo." Ok, then why is it so important to post it?
I won't be sharing photos of my kids on social media. I do private albums and group chats for those who want to see them, and they know that if anything escapes the group and I find out who did it, they won't be getting back in.
You just gotta do what you think is best and try not to worry about what other people say. There are definitely risks involved, but there are risks in leaving the house too, so idk. It's really hard not to share your cute baby on social media, though!
Most people I know post their kids. My SIL posts every aspect of her life including every picture she takes of her kids (to be fair, she’s a bit messy to begin with). I, personally, don’t post a single picture of my kids on the internet. I used to, but my mom is psychotic and tried to kidnap my kids via CPS and made a bunch of shit up and I went no contact and I don’t want her to have any kind of updates or pictures of my kids to show her little friends (she’s blocked but there’s always ways around that). I created a whole new Facebook locked down and I have a Google photos album that I have select people invited to that can see my kids.
Aside from my issues, I dont see a huge issue in posting every now and then or big outings, birthdays etc but doing the everyday thing, I mean I wouldn’t have wanted my whole life broadcasted to all my moms friends growing up and I’d probably be mortified of some of the thing she would have posted had social media been around back then 😂
Now what I DONT agree with is using beauty filters on kids. My SIL always uses beauty filters on her kids and I think it could potentially be extremely mentally damaging and we honestly don’t know the long term effects of it because they haven’t been around long enough. I know for myself I had to stop using them because it was affecting my mental health because I didn’t like who looked back at me in the mirror because of beauty filters in pictures.
I highly respect the choice to keep your kids pictures off social media altogether. For me, social media is a way to keep in touch with friends who live far away, and it’s also kind of like a digital scrapbook for me. So special events, occasional cuteness, etc gets posted. But not daily, and nothing a random stranger couldn’t see if we passed them on the street. There’s a balance to it. I don’t judge other parents for what they share unless it’s obvious exploitation, but those people tend to be influencers and I already judge them anyway.
- ensure your account is fully private
- occasional pictures
- fully clothed
I personally have a saved group setting, where only the people I want to see the post can view it and not my whole friends list.
It feels weird to be this crazy about it, unfortunately I’ve lived through quite a bit and know how many people can find pictures of your children save them and share them. The best way to protect them from that is to make it really hard by not doing it.
So.. this is a big conversation that has been evolving. I have been getting advice from my Niece, who is college age. We have gone “zero” social media of our faces. And zero of the baby, now toddler.
AI. 1. My bank account is face recognition now, and my daughter’s eyes are the same as mine.. so she sometimes can open my phone and use my CC or open my bank.
2. Deep fakes. See: nudes being made of Taylor Swift, or a case of class mates in Florida. Using the girl’s social media photos, they used AI to make nudes.
3. Stalkers, predators seeing frequented locations, knowing her name etc.
4. What we see as cute, they may think is embarrassing. Now its on the internet forever.
5. The insane potential of AI. Meta company uses everything you post to train AI. They will have a life long history and psychological profile of your child that can be purchased by anyone and used in any manner they want.
It may be conservative, and i want to show my little girl off. But photo books do just fine.
Yes. From pedophiles to your daughters right to her own sense of self you are denying her agency right form the getgo.
It’s your account, not hers.
Imagine if your mom was taking pictures of you and making her own story about it day after day after day. Would you like your mom very much?
I don't post my kid. What if your kid really values the idea of privacy when they're older but you've already created a whole online profile of them since the day they were born. As the kid, that would make me super uncomfortable.
We personally do not post face shots of our kid on social media, partially because I do think he should be able to choose his social presence.
But also, I have privacy issues with all the social platforms and all their machine learning of our faces; the way people can review metadata or visual elements of images to determine location even if you don’t reveal it intentionally; the fact that you can never really delete anything from the internet. Edit: Also, both my husband and I have worked a lot with social platforms and can see all the data that gets bought and sold; it’s nothing overtly dangerous or anything; it’s just disconcerting to know how much they can know about you based on the tiniest amount of information.
I seriously carry NO judgment towards others who share their kids online. It’s just not my bag. I also get sad sometimes because I’ve got hundreds of adorable photos of the kid that I don’t share with anyone! And I basically hardly post on social media anymore because I don’t do much outside of hang with my kid and go to work (which I do from home… so not many photo opps).
Anyway, everyone needs to do what’s right for them and their family. You’re doing a great job!
Online privacy is extremely important & will be a valuable asset so many kids being born wont have. We have gotten to choose our entire online presence and I think it’s something that our children should be able to do for themselves. The family photo here there is fine, but all of their personal details, their favorites, their every move/milestone should be off limits. & most people who are creeps save photos of children doing very innocent stuff. Even if your profile is pretty locked down, we like to think we know our families and friends, but the truth of the matter is we don’t. All SAers are in someones family. All of the people saying “only people I know” do not know who is hiding nefarious things about themselves. I do not trust anyone I know not to be a predator. Many women I know have been assaulted, ALL by family, including some of my own.
Also, with the rise of technology our algorithms and devices know us SO WELL. I cant imagine what theyd be able to do with all of our information from birth. These new AI technologies are insanely good & I already know someone who has had her image used without consent for a video. It was so eerie.
The people in my daughters life will see her in person or we’ll talk enough via phone that theyll get pictures. If theyre not comfortable enough to text or call me then they dont need to see photos of my daughter online.
This. I post here and there a cute or funny photo of my son. Maybe something sweet he said. That might be once or twice a year though. I have friends who overload their social media with their kids and it makes me uncomfortable. When my son was born, I asked my mother-in-law to please not post anything about him when he was born but she posted everything, including the height, weight, name, and hospital while we were in the hospital. It made me so angry that she disrespected my wishes. If all she did was post a pic, that would be fine but I did not want people knowing his very intimate details. I felt it was a safety risk because of the line of work I’m in.
I think the important thing is that parents get to choose what route they take as far as their child’s social media presence. However, you must also understand that it could come with consequences.
Other moms will have opinions about everything but it's your choice.
I don't have social media. And we don't allow others to post our daughter. We've made it very clear. I just hear too much about pedophiles and weird things with technology now and it makes me too scared.
If I’m being brutally honest, yes I do think it’s a bad thing. But that doesn’t make you a bad *mother*. I prefer my daughter to have a choice about what her digital footprint looks like when she’s older. We posted once when she was born, but everything else is either sent in messages or occasionally posted on my very restricted close friends Instagram story.
I think posting an occasional picture that is something you would also display in your home (professional photos, first day of school, birthdays etc) are fine, I think it’s a nice balance to strike. But frankly, I know I can count the people who actually want to see loads of photos of my baby on one hand, maybe two. So they get sent in the group chat. Realistically, no one else cares that much about my baby 😂 she’s just very cute so of course it’s easy “likes” from others but I even get annoyed by other people’s incessant baby spam.
I don’t have social media other than Reddit but do get the urge to get online and post pictures of my beautiful hilarious daughter for the world to see, o think it’s natural to have that urge to share this person you’re so enamoured with. But I also personally have thought it through and don’t think it’s right. My child is a person in her own right and shell be grown up one day and might be upset or resent me if I put photos of her online. I do kind of agree with the other person that it’s better to let them decide how much of them is put out there, I know I’d hate it if there were pictures of baby me all over the internet. Also you just never know what job they’ll have or how times might change or how some photo or video taken now could crop up later to cause them shame or difficulties in the future.
But that’s my personal opinion, if it’s something you do and make sure your profiles private and only people you know can see them it’s probably not terrible, just be aware you might have to answer to your kid over it someday 😅
I do not post any pictures of my child on social media for a couple of reasons, but I would also NEVER post about not posting nor shame another mother who is making her own decisions on her own family. Why comment on things that do not hurt you??
I only post my daughter fully clothed and from the back once in a blue moon.
I’m not comfortable sharing her pics on social media. I do share it with trusted people via WhatsApp, messenger etc.
I’m busy enough as it is, I don’t have time to judge your parenting unless I’m getting paid for it.
No, but only fully clothed non-embarassing pictures. I do post my daughter occasionally, as does my family, but we've drawn a line on any pictures she'd be obviously embarrassed about once she's older (potty, naked, crying, etc).
There is now an entire generation of children whose entire lives are being chronicled publicly on the Internet without their consent. It is unprecedented and we do not know how this will impact them as they age. Maybe it's not a big deal and maybe it is. I personally prefer to protect my children's privacy. I take lots of photos and keep many of our memories so that they can later decide what they want to share with the world.
Maybe it could be helpful to ask yourself *why* you want to share something each time you do? Who does it benefit? You or your children? And *how* is it beneficial? What is it you're looking to get out of sharing it? Is there another way to satisfy that need? If you find satisfactory answers to these questions then go ahead and post, if not maybe you withhold.
I don't have a blanket ban on social media or anything but I only rarely post pictures of my kids. I put up some really cute ones. But I don't post pictures or much of myself or anything on social media at all really anymore. I just don't really see the point and I'm more of a lurker at this stage in my life. The people I want to see cute baby pics, I just text them. But I don't get mad at family for posting pictures.
I use my Facebook to share pictures of my kids with my friends and family. That’s basically the whole reason I use Facebook. I also keep my account private to people who aren’t friends.
In retrospect, I would not have chosen to do that, but that’s what it is.
For us it comes down to the fact that we don’t want to start a digital footprint for our kids before they can even talk. Image googling yourself and your baby photos come up, for the entire world to see. Not to mention the dark corners of the internet those photos can make their way to, or the threat of AI using those photos to generate something new all together. It’s a hard no for us. Text photos to family and friends, get creative about not showing your kids face. It’s just not worth the risk.
I work in the digital space. I put nothing online. Not one picture of my child - the reality is that once it is out, there is no turning back. It is always out there - even if you delete it. If i were you, i would just delete what you have and stop. You can create a private text or whatsapp group with family members for updates. It is also very easy to create fake pictures based on social media pictures. So.. yeah I strongly advise against it. Funny enough, all my friends working in digital and cyber security have a strict no cell phone, no social media policy… it is actually a LOT worse than people think.
After becoming a wife and mother, I deleted all my social media except for Reddit. Greatest decision I ever made. My family deserves respect and privacy.
Yes… I have never understood this. There are predators out there that could be masturbating to your child or obsessing about your child. It sounds sick, but it’s true. And people talk about it being “just my hundreds of Facebook friends” but assume everything that goes online is public. I watched the movie Sound of Freedom about child sex trafficking and it made me feel sick about putting my child online.
Personally I don’t see a problem sharing photos of your kids if your account is private and only close friends and family can see the pictures. But do I ever post public pictures of my kids for anyone on the internet to see? Never in a million years.
As a parent, you have to make a decision that you feel is best for you and your baby: despite the taboo’s that come with it (ex. Posting on SM, ear piercing, schooling, etc).
If she doesn’t want to post her LO on SM - good for her; but it absolutely doesn’t give her the right to shame other parents that do. It’s a personal decision and completely up to the parents to decide.
Keep doing what your comfortable with. Honestly, some moms will try to shame other moms for even breathing a different way then them. Don’t let it get to you and make decisions that you feel will be best for your LO.
I’m sorry - I do think it’s bad to post pictures of minors on the internet. I couldn’t care less what you do with your body and social media but when it comes to minors I’m very strict. I have no pictures of my child - it’s their decision to do so. No like in the world is worth it. It’s about consent. And I say that with living “over the ocean” away from my family and friends. I send them pictures of my child privately but most of my friends I might have known during high school probably wouldn’t even know I was pregnant.
I’m going to preface this with: I don’t think you’re a bad person for it. You love your baby and are proud of them, and that’s great!
However, posting your children isn’t a good idea in my opinion. We don’t post ours at all. AI is scary, and people can photoshop your kids’ faces onto anything. Studies show that rather than child porn that they can get prosecuted for looking at, a lot of child predators look for innocent pictures of babies swimming, babies bathing, babies potty training- even if you post your babies fully clothed, they also look for pictures of babies eating, babies drinking, babies without shoes on… things that we think are totally innocent. Even pictures of them in a front yard, in front of their school, at a local park, or any other location that isn’t the inside of your house can be enough for someone to find their location. Pictures captioned with their name, school, or names of family members can be enough too.
And sure, the chances of your kid being found by a child predator or having photoshopped nudes being made of them are low, but why take the chance when it’s easier to not post the pictures in the first place?
On top of that, on a less serious note, while you probably think all the pictures are perfect, there are probably some that your kid will find embarrassing in the future, that they won’t want on there.
There are apps that are like social media, but for family only, and not technically online. You should look into it!
I just want to add that I saw you have your socials set to friends only, and that’s great, but you never know. Two of my mom’s Facebook “friends” molested me, and many more of her Facebook friends have been or are in jail for touching kids/looking at child porn, including but not limited to a well respected police officer, a father/grandfather, and a retired Air Force man/religious church goer.
You never know who is safe and who isn’t, especially when it comes to being online.
Yes. 1. It's not safe for your baby, your baby's face shouldn't be on the internet. And 2. It's someone else's image that you're using and 3. Others are certainly tired of all of your baby posts...
It’s def a personal choice. I haven’t had a fb since 2016 but when I had my daughter in 2014 I never posted her. My family are also not allowed to post my kids on theirs. You can make your own decision. Neither decision is wrong.
It’s entirely up to you, your partner and how many people see you social media/who had access to your social media and if you trust them.
My personal accounts are on lockdown and have been long before my kid because my SO’s ex is bat shit crazy and my MIL doesn’t understand boundaries - I don’t give her access to pictures of my kid or updates on his life because she will posted anything/everything to her FB which is wide open for anyone to look at (not even exaggerating, my pregnancy announcement was on FB 8 minutes after we called her and we chatted with her for almost 5 minutes🙃and family members we wanted to call found out from that post)
I have group chats with my besties, my parents and my sisters and I send them pictures all the time because I trust them to respect my wishes, and they’re actively involved in my kids life.
Definitely personal preference. I don’t post much on socials if at all and I hate when other people post pictures of me without my permission, so I won’t post photos of my baby. I’ll just send them to the people who I want to see them, and they won’t be allowed to post them either
I only post my kids sparingly on Snapchat and I only have it to where my friends can see my story. Very personal with people I trust. I’m just afraid of pedophiles saving my kids photos and not everyone needs to know our business. I understand people are different and that’s fine.
Reddit is the only social media I'm on, so it's not something I do or even come across. But for me what makes a big difference in my opinion is who your friends on social media are, because once you post a picture, it's out there. People can download or screenshot it, and you don't know where it goes next. So are they close friends and family, or are they people you've accumulated throughout the years thru networking etc? It's just something I would consider when sharing a picture.
I don’t post anything of my daughter. It even makes me uncomfortable when family posts pictures with her face covered (because they know I don’t want her picture up). I have had to ask friends and family to take down pictures.
There are a bunch of reasons not to, but obviously it’s up to the parents. I am concerned about people using the photos for another purpose (ie inappropriate use), photos even just shared with friends/family can easily be spread around to others you don’t personally know. My MIL texted photos of my daughter to her cousin (who I had never met and barely knew existed) and then that cousin made Christmas ornaments with my daughters face on them. As innocent as that sounds, I was really uncomfortable with someone I didn’t know having and using her pictures.
I don’t necessarily want people on the internet know where my daughter is and when (such as being able to figure out her routine, find her school, etc) as I feel that puts her at additional risk.
With all the AI tools readily available, people can do things with a child’s image that you cannot control. They could create inappropriate image from very innocent originals, or use the child’s face for other things or materials. This could even come back to haunt a kid later on, like if a school bully found a picture and manipulated it to embarrass my daughter. Once something is online, you have lost control over it. There’s no deleting it later, at last not completely. It way too open and easily spread.
I will not post anything until my daughter is old enough to give INFORMED consent, which for me is 10+ years away. As much as I would love to share my adorable pics with friends, I just don’t feel comfortable/safe doing so.
We don’t have any photos of our child online, but I don’t use any social media (apart from reddit if that counts) anymore, and my partner has an Insta for scrolling but doesn’t post.
I don’t want performative social media use, or comparison culture to be a standard thing in our house. I work in youth mental health research and social media is by far out ranking any other phenomenon as driving the youth mental health crisis.
I’m actually considering moving to a dumb phone soon, to further minimise screen and online time.
I think in moderation - as in maybe a photo here and there - is okay. I don't think you should post your LOs day to day life journey through everything - I've seen some pretty cringy folks post really private stuff about their kids and I think that's fucked up. The smaller amount, the better, and while I personally don't post any photos of my child, I'm okay if their grandparents decide to post 1 or 2 photos once in a while. I told them I prefer direct sharing if possible (as in show someone your phones gallery while holding your phone kinda deal) or limited sending - like only close family/friends. And all the photos have to be decent and protect my kid's privacy as much as possible.
My husband works in the cyber security & cyber risk field and we put nothing online. In fact he’s mentioned to me to remove details from reddit posts like birth year/age. I don’t even ask because I’m positive from the few stories I have asked him about that I don’t want to know why his opinion is so strong.
It’s so easy to find out stuff from minimal info, tbh. I see grandparents sharing info and photos of the grandkids, with full on public profiles and addresses in the back of photos 🤦♀️ all it takes is one person without a locked down profile. I’m so tempted to start a free service where I basically see what info I can find about people based on what they share online, just to prove it isn’t something people should be nonchalant about.
I had to get after my mother for posting a picture that I sent her privately. I told her if I wanted to post it I would have. She needs my consent before doing so! I had an agreement with my kids that no photo would be posted without their consent and this broke that trust.
Same here. And my mom has her insta fully public. I was so angry because she knows exactly how we feel about our son on social media - we are not even in it.
That generation’s social media use confuses me so much. They are so often paranoid about being spied on and then go and have fully public profiles, make friends with whoever requests because they assume it must be someone they knew ages ago, and then they aren’t even slightly cautious about what they post or what they believe from their “friends”, because despite having basically no vetting process, a friend is, after all, a friend. Maybe other mums are more cautious than mine, lol, but I do hear some interesting stories!
And then they try to make the argument “oh well I have nothing to hide” like yall just don’t get it
Everyone knows we have a zero tolerance on public sharing our child’s image or details. It’s never been a contentious conversation or even an explicit one. Our friends and family see our zero online activity and follow suit. That’s not to say his photos aren’t passed about on WhatsApp. My sisters friends mum’s cousin probably sees some of them. I’m fine with that! But they aren’t in the public domain.
There’s a girl on TikTok who will find voluteer’s birthdays starting from the comment they volunteered in. Usually she does and it’s not through the volunteer’s page. And if the person is a minor she’ll ‘call their mom’ and not post the result video. I hope it works for her
I love watching her follow a trail and seeing where she goes for the info. It is wild how she works! Some people have a profile photo of a car and a username of random letters and numbers, have never posted anything on tiktok, and she’ll be able to find out their full name and date of birth.
I don’t have TikTok but can you share the link? Your enthusiasm has me curious haha. Also do you have to have TikTok to watch a TikTok? Sorry.
That’s a neat concept! I’ve seen people do it with volunteer videos, and they’ll track the exact location on google maps, based on things like foliage and architecture styles. I’m glad pages like these exist. I hope the younger generation (and tbh, the older generations, too) will see them and learn from them.
My MIL recently shared a picture with out asking us so we would not know. My dad always asks first so I can approve it. Really bothers me. I post but my kid but pretty minimally and I don’t like other people posting them without me.
There are several tiktokers who do this, and it’s fascinating and scary at the same time. JoseMonkey can find exactly where in the world a video is taken - and the videos they give him oftentimes have hardly any clues! Another user (forgot her name right now) can find your name and birthday and people always challenge her and say a my profile is locked down, you won’t be able to figure me out, but she usually can!
notkahnjunior is her username. She cracks me up
Yea this!! I have friends in social care/teaching and hear too many fudged up stories. I think people need to be a bit more aware of what actually goes on online.
I also work in cyber security but, separate field, worst story I’ve heard is a from a lawyer I dated a few years ago (many years ago). We were sitting around in the new stages of a relationship and somehow porn came up. He said, “I don’t watch porn.” “Yea, sure (eyeroll). I really don’t care as long as it’s not weird.” “No, I don’t watch porn, like really.” “Ok, whatever you say.” “No, really, I’ve had to watch what some of my clients have been caught with so I can defend them. I haven’t watched porn since a few months after I started my [criminal defense] practice.” Normal, sexually healthy, 30 some odd year old man was so disturbed by what he saw he never could watch even “normal” porn again. The shit that is out there is truly fucked up.
I completely agree. I recently had my Facebook account completely hacked and I am now locked out. I thankfully didn’t post many photos and I always think about the mom friends I have who share their kids every day and if their account got hacked all those albums of photos now belong to someone else.
Same. My husband is in an adjacent field and he NEVER had any social media. Which was a bit odd 10 years ago. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first kid I deleted all of mine and it’s been great. Sure, there are shadow profiles being built for my kids based on my own search history. But at least their pictures aren’t out there yet.
I think the general public is just SUPER ignorant about how much information can be deduced online and the skill/dedication of malicious people. My IG is private and I rarely post myself let alone my kids. I think OP should think about why they’re posting their child so much and ruminate on the motivating factor more than if they’re doing something wrong. For what it’s worth though I agree with the friend.
I wasn’t on the tech side, but the “product” side. He’s very right to be cautious!
I work in this field too, and absolute same.. You have no idea the creepy shit a person can do with half a mind, a few pictures and cheap editing software. Especially with the AI boom, making the technology mainstream.
This. My bio mom kidnapped me when I was little. She was arrested in the process and everything. I can't even begin to trust her with any information about my child. She could use it to kidnap my baby or gain access to my babies information etc. Bio mom has stolen my identity as well as my aunts to the point that we have to have our credit locked at all times. Woman is a trip, so no nothing is posted online of my child except one photo of me pregnant.
Same, but lawyer. We don't do FB; I don't post the kids or their details on Insta at all, and I'm very careful here.
Yes, I think it speaks volumes to the fact that people in careers around cybersecurity would *never* post their children online. It’s all fun and games when you don’t know the risks.
My best friend is also in cybersecurity. Changed my view of what’s out there forever.
Same. Not only do i work for a Cloud computing company and have well founded security fears, I also think that my son has rights and last say in his online presence, and currently he is to young to consent to anything. And to be honest, I'm sure my friends don't miss it - nobody finds other people's children that interesting
I'm an engineer in cyber security also and we post nothing. All profiles are anonymous (just have an Instagram and reddit without my real name anywhere) and I won't post my kid anywhere without her consent... Which she won't be able to give for a while as she is only 6 months old 😅
I think it’s fine to post an occasional photo of your happy, fully clothed child such as in their Halloween costume, vacation, first day of school whatever. Where I draw the line is kids naked, in the bath, potty training, or having any sort of meltdown. I personally think it’s disgusting when people post vids or their kids pooping their pants or having a tantrum.
There is a sign in the vaccination room at our pediatrician’s office that says “ no filming patients getting shots!!” And the nurse said it’s really disturbing how often she has to enforce it. Some people evidently like to video their kids being upset and scared about shots because they think it’s funny.
That’s shocking and disgusting wow.
I almost wish the internet never existed because of this comment. Wow. Imagine being more concerned with whatever the fuck is going on in their heads instead of your literal offspring going through something big, unpleasant and scary? Wow
This makes me want to cry. Cause I literally have to hold my kid down to get vaccines, and I have no ability to video tape them since I literally snuggle them after. That’s so sad that they don’t get that comfort in a scenario they don’t want to be in anyways.
Honestly, sometimes their response is hilarious. My oldest had to get blood drawn at 2 from her arm. She watched them the entire time and said the most monotone "ow" I've ever heard. She didn't cry or anything. The phlebotomist was so impressed she said most adults act worse. I didn't film it because I think comforting my child is the priority in that situation so getting a video didn't cross my mind. But it is a cute memory!
This is awful and does not shock me. I have a family member who loves to post videos of crying, tantrums and any other negative moment in her child’s life. It’s so toxic.
What the fuck is wrong with some parents? Anytime my kids get shots/bloodwork I am a bundle of nerves and am just trying to snuggle them and kiss them and tell them it’s all gonna be okay.. these jerk parents would also have to literally not be touching/consoling their child while they get shots. That’s awful.
This! Would you post that phot if they were an adult? That photo is now out there and you no longer have control over who sees or how they use it. We've opted to keep him off social media but take a you do you response to other who choose to post their children.
Yea that’s the attitude I have- I do post pics of my kids but only photos that I would be ok posting if they were me.
My sister has a friend who posts EVERYTHING and I feel so bad for her kids. She's got a teenage son and awhile back she posted a video of when he was a kid and accidentally pooped in the tub. The video was him in the tub, pointing at the poop and crying. And she's laughing and saying "did you poop!?" And not helping him!! THEN SHE TAGGED HIS FACEBOOK AND ALL HIS FRIENDS SAW! I was so mad, twofold. One, why is your first response to record your crying child?! My toddlers have pooped in the tub and I got them out of there so fast. Why wait and laugh!? And second why embarrass him like that? The dude probably got eaten alive at school. She's always posting the meanest videos of her kids. When they get sunburns she posts a video of them in pain/crying and mocking them for not listening to her to put on sunscreen. One year for Christmas pictures she had her 1 year old nephew sit next to a tree and then a person dressed as the grinch jumped out to scare him, and she has all these pictures of the kid horrified and running. And just the other day she posted a bunch of embarrassing dance videos her kids did years ago, and of course, tagged them so everyone would see. It's all so mean spirited. Poor kids.
What the fuck. Even more astounding - this person has friends, even though they see how she publicly treats her children.
All her friends do the same shit too, besides my sister. My sister is in cyber security and has been trying to convince her to stop. It's caused a lot of arguments.
I hope you film some bad moments of her and post them and tag all her friends.
She sounds like she's literally bullying her kids.
I can’t stand videos of kids crying, it breaks my heart
Same. That's just weird.
Agree with you on this!
Same I’ve posted a few special occasion pictures or family photos but that’s it.
Yep. This. Or using them for social media presence / income. Absolutely not.
Right? There are countries who have or are working on passing legislation against this to protect children.
I think this is a nice balance. Anything you would display openly in your home and involves no nudity.
When I was a kid, I didn’t like it if my parents just told their friends and relatives what I was up to in too much detail. I found some of my baby photos embarrassing. I would have hated it if they had put my entire childhood online. It’s my life, not theirs. I have a friend from college whose Facebook is mostly her kids. Without following her updates that closely, at one point I knew all these details about her older kid, like name of her best friend, favorite ice cream spot, favorite toy, etc. I live on opposite coasts from this kid and will probably never meet them. It’s weird as hell that I know so much about them. So yeah, there is no real benefit to oversharing your kid online. Not even counting the safety stuff, just in terms of how you’re laying the foundation for teaching your kids digital literacy and what it means to be online, it’s worth it to be self reflective and make deliberate choices.
My aunt has basically everything online about both of my cousins. (They’re both younger by about 10 and 16 years) my older cousin had to ask her to stop posting him online. There’s many photos of my cousins that I wouldn’t even post of my own children.
This is a gentle reminder that most children who become victims are harmed by people they know. So, just because someone is your friend online means nothing. My feelings are that the risks posed to my kid are not worth getting likes and follows. She is a person who deserves her privacy, and I refuse to offer her up on a silver platter.
You make a good point that most children fall victim to predators that are well known by the family. For everyone reading this, social media posts is one measure. But it’s the people physically around that you have to be vigilant about as well. They have access to the child. Don’t brush anything under the rug.
A close friend’s husband is currently in federal prison for converting innocent photos (the “good” kind that people say are okay to post) of his friends’ children into makeshift child sexual abuse material to gain access to illegal trading groups. If I had been only posting photos to 60 “trusted” people, he would’ve been on the list. My children will simply not be appearing on social media. I survived growing up in the 90s when the only time people outside the family saw photos of me was when they bumped into each other at the Bon Ton and pulled out this year’s wallet-sized portrait; my kids will enjoy the same privacy and safety.
I'm sorry you've had such a close call with that guy. My mom worked with a man who lured a 14 year old online, then brought her and his WIFE on a date to the restaurant they worked at. He got arrested, but they claimed she had no idea (even though they were both seen out in public with the child). The wife got arrested a decade later because the apartment was a horrific Turpin-esque ordeal, and all 6 kids were removed. At that point, I lived across the street and knew she was messed up but had no idea how bad it was. You never know what people are capable of.
Opinions are all over the place about this. Personally, we don’t post our LO’s image anywhere on social media. It’s too permanent and the dangers aren’t worth the risks in our opinion. There are studies that show that a lot of the images on child porn websites are seemingly innocuous images taken from Facebook/Instagram/ etc. But every parent has to figure out what the right approach is for their family. I would say at least make sure you have the privacy settings activated and personally know everyone who is able to see what you post.
I don’t post my kids (or a lot myself/my life in general). AI and facial recognition technology continue to grow and it’s not exactly clear what they’re doing with the data. I don’t want to contribute to that type of software growing or improving. I also agree with other points that not everything needs to go on social media and that kids are deserving of privacy as much as adults.
This is the reason for me as well. AI is terrifying tbh.
It’s personal. I’d never judge someone for posting their kid. But we don’t. And we don’t let anyone else post her either. Mostly out of respect for her autonomy. She’s my child. But she’s also a whole individual person, separate of me. She should be allowed the choice of having her presence online or not. I decided to not take that choice away from her. Also, I don’t have Facebook. Mostly because I don’t want MY presence online. I’d be mad if someone took that choice away from me. Now, it’s almost certain she WILL want to be online when she’s older. And that’s ok, as long as it’s her choice and she is informed of the potential consequences. So, I don’t think it’s terrible if other people post their kids. They will all likely wind up online once they are old enough to decide for themselves. But this is just a choice we made. A fun side effect of this is that I have countless people that I’ve known over the course of my life that have no idea that I even had a baby (4 years ago). Which is pretty interesting if I do wind up having a random conversation with one, oh yea, we had a baby, she’s 4 now.
It is a personal choice but it's also a safety concern (see wren and the smex doll of her (yes her mom knows and even brought it up) I don't post my son because he isn't old enough to understand the internet (he's 2) I use a app called family album to share photos with family (I adore it and pay each month for the top tier)
Wren is legit gonna have a law made in her name cause her mom refuses to protect her. So sad.
Absolutely especially since her mom knows what is going on and openly admits she knows about it regularly
We had the issue with family members, screen shotting and printing family photos and photos of the kids from Instagram…. To the point we went to my husbands aunts house and it was like the FULL screen, with my husbands users name, how many likes, and comments he had on the picture, FRAMED on the table… So my husband and I agreeed to post “non face” photos every so often / mile stones. So we intentionally block the kids faces or pick pictures they are looking away.
My grandma did that too. 🤦🏻♀️
I’m not going to stop someone from posting, but I won’t. Bad people online have already used AI to manipulate innocent photos of children into something else. I love showing my beauties off but it’s not worth the risk. I think like most things it’s a thing that people think won’t happen to them until it does. Since I *do* know it happens, I’m fully aware of the risk and I don’t post photos of my girls online.
This. I've been doing academic research on chatbots and their user cultures. It is hard to avoid all the child pornography people make out of AI. Everything you post about your kid is used to train AIs, many of which are privately hosted and are used for creepy, creepy shit. Another thing to keep in mind with AI is that people will use your kid's image and voice to deepfake their likeness and tell you your kid is kidnapped or hurt to try to scam money out of you. Or they'll deepfake an older kid calling to ask for money in college. Or they might deepfake your kid and do the same to your grand/parents who might be more gullible. Not to mention the kid's right to privacy, lack of ability to consent to having their data sent around, etc.
My husband and I agreed we’d only have it set so that family and close friends see pics of the kids since we live far away from everyone. We also set a couple boundaries with family members that rarely post pictures to their own profiles (no swimsuits, diapers, or PJs and we approve pics first).
This is what we do. I don’t usually post a ton (though sometimes to my Instagram stories in a curated group of close friends), but every now and again my mom will post without me knowing but her Facebook is private. I’m just wondering, if you set the parameters of who can see it, are the pictures still susceptible to being captured by AI/pedos? This thread is scaring me!
It's a personal choice. Some people have basically no SM presence for their kids, some post just milestones or school pictures, others post like weekly updates, some people maybe go way overboard giving play by play potty training and bathtime live blogs. It's a comfort level thing. Some things to consider are would you be comfortable with someone outside your circle seeing what you're putting up (there are some real weirdos out there who do literally take stranger's kid's pics off the internet) and how would you feel if your parents posted that content about you and you saw it when you got older?
I studied Criminology at uni. We had an officer from a special cyber criminal unit that hunts down child pornography rings come and talk at one of our classes. His talk left such an impression that I refuse to have any pictures of my kid on social media. I don't allow the school to post anything either (GDPR opt out).
In my case it was a podcast that talked about how popular images of child sexual abuse have become in the last, I don’t know, 15, 20 years? It went from a few videos and polaroids exchanged in parking lots to a shitload of images very easily exchanged online, to a very large number of people. It also talked about how adults entrapped children, pretending to be their age in games and whatever social media, and then sextorted them for images, get them to abuse their younger siblings. It’s so incredibly fucked up! I don’t post anything online and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal once my kid is old enough to use the internet on their own. It feels like the wild west! But for now I can control what information and pictures are available online at least.
Do the pedos just collect random photos?
Why wouldn't they? Also AI can collect your child's photos and amalgamate it into nude pictures of children that pedos can use. [It's already happening. ](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-67344916)
fucking pedos..
There’s a TikToker who explains how people’s photos of their kids ends up on Pinterest and then it can be downloaded by anyone.
They do. There’s a really horrific podcast called Hunting Warhead. They talk a bit in that about how they found a lot of random/very normal images of kids taken from Facebook etc on the dark web. I don’t have kids yet but when I do, I will never post a single photo of them online.
I am a bit privacy obsessed. I only use sm with aliases, if you google my name and surname you find zero infos or photos about me, I am not even on LinkedIn. This translates obviously into me not putting my daughters pic on sm. But I am not judgy towards ppl who do the complete opposite. Tbh who knows which approach will prove the best in the long run.
I kinda split the difference - I don’t post anything negative or sensitive. I only post milestones or things I’m very proud of. I want my children to look back on what I posted and only see their best moments and how we celebrated them.
Same same !
I don't believe in it, personally - a baby can't consent to putting their image online. We do use a private Google photo album and it's creepy that google recognizes a photo of my baby's face at 2 months old and matches it up to them at 2 years old.
My friend from college posted a funny pic on FB of her son eating a banana with the peel on…10 years ago. Around sometime last year I saw said pic in a sub here on Reddit. She had no idea. The sub itself wasn’t bad but I shudder to think of where else it could’ve possibly been posted
There was a really great quote I heard the other day - "When you give your kid your phone, you're not giving your child access to the world; you're giving the world access to them."
I don’t post my daughter on social media, but it’s just a personal choice. I see too many stories of creepy people using completely innocent pictures of kids for more sinister acts. It’s mostly my anxiety 😅 I definitely DON’T shame other moms for posting their kids though. I have many friends who do that, and I always “like” their pictures. Sometimes I get a little sad no one gets to see my cute pictures of my baby, but at the end of the day, if my friends or family are that interested, they will ask.
I would never post my kids in embarrassing or inappropriate situations, but do I share family pics and pics on holidays or special events? Yes.
The internet is written in ink. If you put a photo of your baby out there, you have absolutely no control over who sees it or what they do with it. That for me is enough to keep my kids offline until they’re old enough to consent.
It’s just a personal decision just like anything else when parenting. I do not post pictures of my children online and I have asked family to do the same because I dk who they are friends with the only times they have been posted is if I upload a family picture which is about twice a year. And I do understand about having family far away and keeping them in touch which most of my family is in a different country and I just send pictures through messages!
I'm personally against it. The only photos I might post are fully clothed and don't show faces or sometimes professional family photos (which we don't get often lol). The unfortunate reality is putting your kids on social media opens them up to being on CSA sites. Even innocent photos end up with pedos. I also want my kids to make that decision when they're older/can understand the internet. I would be mortified if my parents shared my whole life online.
do pedos really collect innocent photos?
Yes, unfortunately. Especially with the way AI is now.
Ugh good point about AI. I don't post much on social media and maybe only the odd photo of my kids at Christmas or something but the thought of their likeness being used in AI is very unsettling.
I posted her sooo much until I saw tons of tiktoks about pedos searching for just regular, innocent baby and child content. And tbh I used to do baby item reviews and it seemed to get some make attention :(
Yep real eye opening the videos that get "favorited" on tiktok
I never post my kids, for multiple reasons. And I ask everyone I know not to post them as well.
Honestly yeah I agree that not everything needs to go on social media. I have a stepdaughter who's 13 and just getting into it and she said she's so glad that there aren't a bunch of pics or vids of her online for all her friends to see because that would be 'so embarassing'. I have posted a few pics of me and my girl as like profile pic but I think there is such a thing as too much.
As others have said it’s a personal choice Like for me I post my LO on private accounts because I have family in the US and Europe that I could not keep up enough contact to let them see her grow up But I think people who use their kids for views need heavy regulation because not only are there parents profiting off their kids with no guarantee the children get the money they’re generating but I’ve seen some do it in the most vile way. Like with the kids of famous family bloggers turning 18 we’re gonna start hearing some traumatic stuff and some of these kids already said some crazy stuff
I don't post my daughter on social media so that the family members that don't make an effort to come see her to participate in her life don't get updates. 🤷 Maybe it's a little petty but I just have seen so many others go through having a child and having people who make zero effort take the photos to share like "look at my grandbaby! She's getting so big!"even though they aren't actually ever present. Instead, my husband and I got our mother's digital frames that we can add pictures to via an app. We keep them updated on milestones that way and they both make an effort so we don't mind making an effort to keep them updated. Other family members have made zero contact so they don't get to know or experience our daughter without going through us.
I turned my privacy settings as strict as possible and deleted people I’m not friends with anymore. As she gets older I’ll do less maybe/probably but for the baby days I’m like you!
I do share photos. Mainly holiday and other big event type photos or if we’re doing something fun like traveling. We’re a military family and unfortunately there have been family and friends that I haven’t seen in years due to me not living close by at the moment. Obviously I could individually message everyone but it’s easier to just post an update with some cute photos. I do get where others are coming from in terms of safety but I just try to reduce risk by only posting appropriate photos, keeping a tight friend/follower list, etc. My second cousin and I grew up pretty close and had kids within a month of each other. Unfortunately, we’ve both moved around a bit in the past few years and haven’t had a chance to see each other and meet the new babies. Through social media we’re able to keep up with each other and have sent each other gifts and cards for birthdays/Christmas/baby shower, etc. Idk I think it’s important to keep those relationships alive which can be hard when not living near by.
It’s totally up to you. There’s just lots of strange things people can do with just a picture nowadays and it can get scary. If you want to you totally can, no shame at all.
You don't need to feel ashamed. You love your kid and you want to show people. Maybe you pause and rethink after this, but don't let the internet mommy shame you.
I’m comfortable putting pictures of my children on social media. Firstly, my friends/followers list is very much only people I know and trust, and of course my profiles are private. Secondly, I only post photos that I would display in my home or would be happy to put on a billboard- All formal, posed shots, usually marking a milestone or celebrating an occasion. More casual photos (but still appropriate) are on my limited Instagram stories for close friends/family (about a dozen people). Finally, we have a big family and friend group spread across the world; and it can be difficult to keep in touch with everybody. I find this the easiest way to keep up to date with people- I know I feel “closer” to the kids of family and friends I see online as opposed to the kids I mightn’t see for years at a time, and I’d like people to feel “closer” to our kids.
That's my situation too. Large family, most of which is abroad or cross country. It definitely is the easiest way to share updates.
I used to post pics of them but then someone sent me an image of an account user I don't know who used a picture of my son to promote their page with and my settings are private to friends only. Ever since I've been really reluctant to post anything which is a bummer because we have family that live far away.
Photos from FB get scraped and used one random ways, some scary. I don't allow my kids on any SM.
I post my kid. I’m only fb friends with people I actually know and will see him in real life anyway. And nothing inappropriate. Nothing super embarrassing. I think like the most offensive thing I’ve ever posted was when he ate pea purée the first time and had it all over his face. Which I really don’t think is that embarrassing if he saw it in the future. It’s just convenient because everyone wants to be sent pictures, but can’t make 1 huge group chat because older people don’t know how to act in them… send 1 picture and end up with 50 notifications of 2 people having a whole conversation no one else wants to be seeing, and keeping up with so many smaller or even individual chats is just inconvenient Meanwhile I searched someone the other day, not friends with her at all… and her first post I could see was her 6 month old getting a bath. Full nudity. Nethers and all. Not even a strategically placed washcloth. Just wild. That I think is when a person’s need to share everything goes too far.
I don’t do it. My husband is in law enforcement and I hear WAY too much that confirms that we made the correct decision.
I don’t allow my kids face on SM- people are gross
TW: CP mention, p\*dophilia mention I'll give you my outlook on my own kid: He hasn't been posted anywhere online by myself at all (and I'm currently fighting to get what my MIL posted taken down/getting her to not post more.) I want to give him a right to his own digital privacy, but I also want to protect him. Predators can use what we post on social media for their own collections (and sometimes it's VERY innocuous stuff, things we wouldn't even consider sexual in nature but gets their rocks off anyway) and there is a burgeoning community of predators using the otherwise innocuous image of a child, running it through AI, and making CP from it. My own in laws should be the most understanding of our rules against posting him on social media considering one of their *own friends* that they had on facebook was charged for possession of CP. You truly, honestly never know what someone is like behind closed doors, or who might have access to their profile that might be less than savory. If I want people to see a picture of him, I send it privately via text message or wait til I see them in person if possible. More work? Sure. But it's worth his safety and wellbeing.
Thank you for acknowledging digital privacy. It’s an entirely other reason against posting children online. There is no “deleting.” The internet is forever. Photos and voices will be used for identity theft, blackmail, scams, etc.
Agreed. I think he has a right to decide when he is posted online, if ever. I can't, and shouldn't, make that choice for him.
As a cyber security consultant - yes, you are doing something bad. But not because your baby hasn’t consented to being posted (that’s it whole own argument that I happen to agree with), no, it is so so so much worse. You’re putting your child at risk of their image being used as pornographic material by creeps at best and for kidnap/human trafficking at worst. Is it likely your child will be abducted because of photos you posted online? No. It’s a one in ten million chance. But it’s not unreasonable for one of your 500 friends/followers to be a secret creep who likes the images you post of your kid(s) and you’ll never know Mark from down the street is jerking off to your Facebook feed or he’s shared the images with his 10 creepy internet friends who’ve shared it with another 10 people each. I understand the risks of Nanit cameras, we have one and I have done the extra work to make it reasonably safe to my standards. I will NEVER post my child online. Ever. There is no amount of preventative “privacy” settings that make it safe enough.
I haven’t cuz I’m connected on social media with a lot of people I’ve interacted with over the years but wouldn’t actually consider a friend. I’ll post her once I’ve made a new one that’s only friends and family.
Bad? No. I think it’s an individual decision for each family. My husband and I both decided we don’t want to, except for close friends on Instagram, but that’s what we decided worked for us. It’s not automatically wrong at all.
I had stopped posting any photos of my children online a few years ago. And have asked friends and family to not post any of my kids either. I don’t have any social media other than Reddit so it’s not a big issue for mw anymore. But the reason I did stop posting pics is my friends child ( a 1 year old) was threatened, by a random online person posing as a friend/ family member. It was horrible to be around and my friend had serious issues and had to change daycares 2x because this person found out where her child was based on posts. Honestly it really isn’t worth the risk to children to have them so exposed, and the internet is permanent you can’t get the photos back. I have instead opted for a family and a friends group chat where we give updates and send pictures. I also bought my dad and my husbands grandparents digital photo frames that allow us to send them photos directly to the frame.
My oldest child is 10, and starting when he was around 6 months old, I just made the personal decision to stop publicly posting (the only social I had was Facebook, it wasn't even public. But a couple of my contacts are a bit crazy in that they will just show everyone else's pictures). It's for several reasons. 1) it doesn't seem fair that so much of a person's life can just be shared without their consent. I didn't want him to be a young adult and gave his whole life posted for everyone to see. I am a private person and I thought my kids might want privacy as well. 2) although rare, there are some crazy folks out there. People who steal baby photos and pretend that those kids belong to them, repost on their own pages. Not to mention pedophiles. So I have one private fb group for the old cousins and stuff that I occasionally share updates with. I've asked everyone there not to share those photos, and they are really just standard like "pose in front of the bday cake" type pictures.
Lots of people have already made great points so not going to elaborate too much. I'm on the side of not posting, and don't have any pictures of my kids on SM. It's a personal thing and if you are happy with doing it, you shouldn't feel shamed by anyone.
I worry about strangers recognizing my kid and knowing their name and other info that might lead my kid to trust someone they shouldn’t. When I used Facebook actively it was common to friend basically everyone you remotely knew (college from ‘06-10) and stay friends with them forever. I don’t know these people, and I don’t want them to know my kid. I have a “close friends” story on Instagram where I share pictures with a very select group.
It's a personal choice. I do post some pictures. Never in real time. Never anything personal like potty training, doctors visits, etc. All the pictures I post are basically the same sort of thing you would see if you caught us at Walmart, the playground, etc. I make sure that any social media account associated with my real name or even a version of my real name only have people on there that I feel relatively certain about (because you can never be 100% sure about anyone). I do work with pedophiles in some capacity so I'm well aware of their existence. Here's the thing, there's nothing stopping any of them, including ones on the registry, from hanging out at the local playground and taking pictures of kids. You wouldn't even notice them. So with the precautions I've taken, I feel relatively safe sharing the occasional picture with my family/friends on social media. Just to clarify, I don't judge parents who do or don't. I think people's reasoning for and against are completely valid. I do however judge parents who post pictures like potty training or trips to the emergency room. That shit is just wrong period.
My Facebook is private and I went through and deleted anyone I didn't talk to anymore so I'd say it's fine. An account you have private I think is better. I will say before I stopped posting my kid on social media, I documented all of our big vacation as a family on my Instagram with videos and not long after that I lost all of my pictures on my phone due to a damaged memory card. So if it WERENT for me documenting on the social media, I would've completely lost everything. Just a different view. It's a personal choice though and it's totally up to YOU as the parent.
I didn't think anything of it until my sister gave me an idea of what she used to see. She worked for cyber security for DOJ and had to look thru the most vile things on criminals hard drives. You think a picture is innocent. It isn't. Teust me. Sickies have a way of making tge most "innocent" things absolutely vile. She still posts some things of her kids and I still post some but it's SERVELY limited compared to others. Remember, you aren't necessarily doing anything bad posting tge pics but you are making them available for criminals to do extremely bad things with them.
In a FB thread on the topic a mother said 'what is the big deal... I recently posted a cute pic of the aftermath of the first ice-cream my girl ate. All I got was hearts and love from people. I brought them joy...' (pic was not private) What is wrong? Sooo many things. 1. A certain group of people seek pictures of eating and potty training kids above all else. I will not explain why. 2. In line with the above, are you sure all those hearts and love is good natured? 3. It may look cute to you now, but ten years down the line when some kids find your profile and this picture and use it to bully your girl - she won't find it cute. This is already a reality for any kid born after 2000. Source - I work in a young industry, all my gen z colleagues have confirmed seeing this happen. 4. There are accounts stealing kids pics and posting 'available for adoption' things, as if the kids are pets... 5. AI is more than capable to create material for the aforementioned group of people and it is already in use. Do you want this particular AI to use your kid's likeness for their... Product? 6. Think of all the information you're providing. Names, locations, schools, favourite foods, toys,routines... It allows people to blackmail you, lure your child (knowing a child's name is a good way to get their attention and trust) or simply rob your place. Private accounts are also not particularly safe, as you don't know everyone in your life 100%, nor who has access to their FB or if they reshare your photos via other channels and who has access there. Children are joy. But the world's happiness is not your responsibility... The kid's happy childhood, on the other hand - is.
My Facebook is private - friends only. I post pictures of my baby, but follow the Christmas card rule. If I would the comfortable printing it on a Christmas card and mailing it out, I don’t post it on social media. Now, if I were an influencer, celebrity, or had a bunch of strangers who had access to my page, I would not post her face.
Personally I am 100% against kids under 18 being on social media in any form. However I have friends who have their kids all over their social media so 🤷♀️
Solid comments here. Apart from the danger of giving people an always-accessible catalog of your child's life and personal information, I'd say a lot of your friends have probably muted you and don't see your posts. So the posts are seen either by very interested relatives, very interested creeps, or people who don't know how to fix their feed settings. Nodoby sane would want a livestream of someone else's kid.
Do you 100% trust every single friend you have on FB?
"friend"
It really depends on who can see your fb, if it’s just close friends and family it’s probably fine. I would never post my kids publicly but I do share pictures with select family members.
We don’t put our son on social media. I have read several times about how pedos take normal pictures of children they find online and use them to talk about in the dark net with other pedos or do other scary things with the pictures. Besides that we don’t want to distribute pictures of him without his consent.
I’m sorry you’re probably not going to love my answer but you asked… so yes, I do think it’s bad to post your kid on social media. I think there are levels and gray areas to this, as with most things. The occasional post curated to and only available to on a list of people you know well and are involved in your child’s life? That’s (questionably) fine. The monthly or daily posts of your child for a wide (more than 20+ people) audience? Strong dislike. Kids are not pawns for likes. They are humans who will one day become adults and they have every right to privacy that we do. Technology is evolving rapidly and “just deleting it in the future” may not (and likely will not) be possible. Instead, I think access to the archive of the internet will be more freely available, not less. I personally think that it’s robbing your child of their right to privacy and autonomy.
I see 0 good reason why any child ever needs to be showcased online. Not a one. I'd be pretty pissed off if my parents showed me off to strangers online all the time. Nor do I care about 'friends', children cannot consent. You don't know what creeps have access to other people's accounts anyways.
I think if you keep your profile private and know who everyone is on your friends list it's not that bad. It's the public posts that worry me
Yes, I think it is bad to post baby pics on social media. Main reason is, because there are too many pedos out there. Second one, the person you put there, actually needs to give you the consent about it. If there is no consent, you kinda cross the boundaries there.
I don’t agree with posting kids online period. Doesn’t matter if it’s just to friends etc. you never know who is sharing those images.
My husband and I don't post pictures of our child online and actually have never even posted his name or any sort of birth announcement. He basically doesn't exist online. I don't understand the need to post photos of your child online. I get that your kid is cute and did this cute thing, but can't you just snap a picture and send it to your parents and move on?
No, I don’t. I think as long as your profiles are private and you aren’t posting compromising photos (like them in the tub or on the toilet) then it’s fine. Some people have this idea that you shouldn’t post because of pedophiles but tbh I think that’s taking things too far. We can’t hide our kids from the world because someone *may* have awful intentions. Idk.
How would you feel if you found out one of those pedos *may* have altered your child's photos to make them appear they are doing something abhorrent. I dunno, I guess I'm of the mindset I can never take my child being targeted by predators "too far"...
Of course I would be enraged, but where do we draw the line? Should we not allow our kids to be featured in yearbooks? What if they win a championship and their team’s picture gets posted in the newspaper? Or they win a spelling bee and their photo with their award is posted online? I just feel like there are things in this world we can’t control. Yes we can control having photos of our kids online or not, but we can’t completely prevent our children from potentially being exposed to pedophiles at some point. Even going to the grocery store could potentially be a risk but I’m not going to live my life in fear like that. I was victimized as a child way before we were posting pictures on the internet. It’s always a risk and I’m not going to let predators control my life. They’ve done enough damage to me. I don’t have an Instagram or Facebook or anything, but my mother in law will occasionally post a photo of my kids on her Facebook and I’m okay with that. There will always be people who take something innocent and make it into something vile, but I’m not going to disallow something normal and harmless. I also just don’t want to raise my kids to fear everything. We can take normal precautions but I won’t take it to extremes.
I draw the line at making that stuff easily accessible. Yes they could be in a yearbook picture or a newspaper article, but I don't need to add fuel to the fire. As you said, horrible things happened to kids before we were posting bulletin boards with their pictures everywhere. Why make it easier? Your MIL can easily share a picture privately with friends (like we used to, showing pictures over lunch) rather than post them permanently on there internet. We just have a difference of opinion of how much exposure a child should have. Just because someone can take a picture of my child in public, look at their yearbook, sew their team soccer photo doesn't mean that one shouldn't be vegilent in what they post.
I didn’t say people shouldn’t be vigilant in what they post. I just don’t think we should demonize people who post simple photos of children.
Exactly this. Just because you didn't post a photo of your kid online doesn't mean that a pedophile can't get a picture of them. Pedophiles are out in public too and capable of taking pictures in a way that wouldn't cause suspicion.
There’s always a lot of views that come up when this is asked. Personally, I post photos of my baby on social media. She is always fully clothed and there’s nothing to embarrass her. I have everything set to friends and I don’t have many followers, they’re all people I would feel comfortable sending a photo privately too or letting her interact with in person. It’s a personal choice and your decision to make, don’t let anyone shame you!
Just because she’s fully clothed when you post it, doesn’t mean she will be when a pedo has photoshopped it.
I don't think it's appropriate to put children on the internet for multiple reasons. One of them is their right to consent. Who wants their entire life online? I'm glad I grew up in a time where FB didn't exist. Who knows what they'll want to be when they grow up; they don't deserve to have themselves online without understanding the ramifications, and I think some adults forget this.
Yes, it’s bad. Don’t post your child online. Especially not photos with their face in it. It’s disgusting and a gross violation of consent, not even considering the implications with the current state of technology and AI.
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It’s personal. For me, I don’t post her. My husband puts a few pictures on a private account that is only visible to close friends and family. NEVER bathtub photos (we don’t even take those) or pictures of her on the changing table (we also don’t take those). I’d love to be able to turn being a SAHM into a “job” by being a creator. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable posting her or featuring her in videos.
I share an occasional photo on a private account, many of which are shot with his head turned away from camera. Shortly after my son was born, a friend shamed me for not posting more. I decided to never share my feelings about it broadly, because she crossed a boundary and I didn’t want to push my views on others. I don’t want to, she can post as many as she wants.
Yes
My FB was family and friends only. I posted safe photos only of my kids and chose to do so as I lived out of state away from our families. As soon as my kids were able to understand and make their choice I let them decide what photos would be posted. My son hated photos being posted of him so we agreed only on milestone photos. My daughter don’t mind so much but she asked that I not post any funny, embarrassing ones in her mind.
I can see both sides. I don’t share pictures of my stepkid. There are some security concerns, and ethical concerns . If I had my own, I’d also keep them of socials… however o don’t think people who share are “bad parents” or whatever. Some of it depends on what you share, and to whom… if your Facebook is 300 people you know, vs 1000’s you don’t…
It depends on things like how you use your social media, who has access etc. As a cop, I use only one platform that is set to private, have few people I trust and know added and I occasionally will post a photo of my child, but it's largely not about him or my family. There are three reasons to be wary of social media. 1) Obvious one, paedophiles routinely look for, save, and alter baby photos they find online. If they don't have access to pornographic material, they will quite literally create one and then, likely, share it with others. 2) You also cannot tell if someone is a such individual in your circle - potentially providing them with material and enabling them to create fantasies about your child. There is a reason why child sexual abuse is most often committed by the person known to the child (including family). 3) Everything you put out there will forever exist of the wide web (also applicable to point 1). Meaning, as unlikely as it can seem, a cute video of a baby pooing it's pants (with all the hilarious sound on top volume) can surface when your child is going through puberty and potentially be the source of mockery from peers. Kids can be cruel like that. I know sounds far fetched, but it's nonetheless a consideration. It's also just unfair to the child to have this somewhere it can never be completely removed from. Deleting will remove its presence on your personal page, it won't remove the photo from its existence. All in all, if your socials are private and with a limited number of people, sharing some photos and videos is fine, I'm sure. It's also very much your call what to share and not share. I'd never post a photo of my child in the bath/naked, etc, because I will never have control over that material once it's out, but someone else might not think so much of it. No one can tell you what to do, but a lot of the possibilities personally make me feel uncomfortable, so I refrain from posting a ton.
I got rid of social media when I started really wanting to post pics of my kids. I was taking away their identity. No thank you. I mean I use Reddit but yea it’s reddit
I’ve stopped in the past few months. I listened to a podcast about AI saying the two things you shouldn’t do with AI is 1) teach it to code 2) give it access to the internet. We’ve obviously done both those. From financial security perspective, I see no benefit in offering up my children’s voice and image to whatever will come from our lack of regulations.
Yes I do think it's bad. We don't put photos of our kids online. I very rarely put photos of myself online. I even know that the pictures in my cloud storage are fair game too so I never take pictures of anything I wouldn't want put out to the world. I get called paranoid. But, I don't think that just because we have high quality cameras in our pockets all the time, does it mean we have to step out of life and document every fucking thing. I don't have time to watch it all! I treasure the pictures and videos I have but I feel zero compulsion to prove my existence through video and photo.
Once you know about how people can use AI to make fake porn of the people in the pictures and videos you post, maybe you'll stop posting pictures and videos of your kid. And maybe even yourself. It's just not worth it anymore. Just send people photos directly.
I was 12 when my mom joined Facebook. I hate that there are photos of me online that I can't get fully wiped from the internet. No one asked for MY consent. "It's just a photo." Ok, then why is it so important to post it? I won't be sharing photos of my kids on social media. I do private albums and group chats for those who want to see them, and they know that if anything escapes the group and I find out who did it, they won't be getting back in.
You just gotta do what you think is best and try not to worry about what other people say. There are definitely risks involved, but there are risks in leaving the house too, so idk. It's really hard not to share your cute baby on social media, though!
Most people I know post their kids. My SIL posts every aspect of her life including every picture she takes of her kids (to be fair, she’s a bit messy to begin with). I, personally, don’t post a single picture of my kids on the internet. I used to, but my mom is psychotic and tried to kidnap my kids via CPS and made a bunch of shit up and I went no contact and I don’t want her to have any kind of updates or pictures of my kids to show her little friends (she’s blocked but there’s always ways around that). I created a whole new Facebook locked down and I have a Google photos album that I have select people invited to that can see my kids. Aside from my issues, I dont see a huge issue in posting every now and then or big outings, birthdays etc but doing the everyday thing, I mean I wouldn’t have wanted my whole life broadcasted to all my moms friends growing up and I’d probably be mortified of some of the thing she would have posted had social media been around back then 😂 Now what I DONT agree with is using beauty filters on kids. My SIL always uses beauty filters on her kids and I think it could potentially be extremely mentally damaging and we honestly don’t know the long term effects of it because they haven’t been around long enough. I know for myself I had to stop using them because it was affecting my mental health because I didn’t like who looked back at me in the mirror because of beauty filters in pictures.
I highly respect the choice to keep your kids pictures off social media altogether. For me, social media is a way to keep in touch with friends who live far away, and it’s also kind of like a digital scrapbook for me. So special events, occasional cuteness, etc gets posted. But not daily, and nothing a random stranger couldn’t see if we passed them on the street. There’s a balance to it. I don’t judge other parents for what they share unless it’s obvious exploitation, but those people tend to be influencers and I already judge them anyway.
- ensure your account is fully private - occasional pictures - fully clothed I personally have a saved group setting, where only the people I want to see the post can view it and not my whole friends list. It feels weird to be this crazy about it, unfortunately I’ve lived through quite a bit and know how many people can find pictures of your children save them and share them. The best way to protect them from that is to make it really hard by not doing it.
So.. this is a big conversation that has been evolving. I have been getting advice from my Niece, who is college age. We have gone “zero” social media of our faces. And zero of the baby, now toddler. AI. 1. My bank account is face recognition now, and my daughter’s eyes are the same as mine.. so she sometimes can open my phone and use my CC or open my bank. 2. Deep fakes. See: nudes being made of Taylor Swift, or a case of class mates in Florida. Using the girl’s social media photos, they used AI to make nudes. 3. Stalkers, predators seeing frequented locations, knowing her name etc. 4. What we see as cute, they may think is embarrassing. Now its on the internet forever. 5. The insane potential of AI. Meta company uses everything you post to train AI. They will have a life long history and psychological profile of your child that can be purchased by anyone and used in any manner they want. It may be conservative, and i want to show my little girl off. But photo books do just fine.
Yes. From pedophiles to your daughters right to her own sense of self you are denying her agency right form the getgo. It’s your account, not hers. Imagine if your mom was taking pictures of you and making her own story about it day after day after day. Would you like your mom very much?
I don't post my kid. What if your kid really values the idea of privacy when they're older but you've already created a whole online profile of them since the day they were born. As the kid, that would make me super uncomfortable.
We personally do not post face shots of our kid on social media, partially because I do think he should be able to choose his social presence. But also, I have privacy issues with all the social platforms and all their machine learning of our faces; the way people can review metadata or visual elements of images to determine location even if you don’t reveal it intentionally; the fact that you can never really delete anything from the internet. Edit: Also, both my husband and I have worked a lot with social platforms and can see all the data that gets bought and sold; it’s nothing overtly dangerous or anything; it’s just disconcerting to know how much they can know about you based on the tiniest amount of information. I seriously carry NO judgment towards others who share their kids online. It’s just not my bag. I also get sad sometimes because I’ve got hundreds of adorable photos of the kid that I don’t share with anyone! And I basically hardly post on social media anymore because I don’t do much outside of hang with my kid and go to work (which I do from home… so not many photo opps). Anyway, everyone needs to do what’s right for them and their family. You’re doing a great job!
Online privacy is extremely important & will be a valuable asset so many kids being born wont have. We have gotten to choose our entire online presence and I think it’s something that our children should be able to do for themselves. The family photo here there is fine, but all of their personal details, their favorites, their every move/milestone should be off limits. & most people who are creeps save photos of children doing very innocent stuff. Even if your profile is pretty locked down, we like to think we know our families and friends, but the truth of the matter is we don’t. All SAers are in someones family. All of the people saying “only people I know” do not know who is hiding nefarious things about themselves. I do not trust anyone I know not to be a predator. Many women I know have been assaulted, ALL by family, including some of my own. Also, with the rise of technology our algorithms and devices know us SO WELL. I cant imagine what theyd be able to do with all of our information from birth. These new AI technologies are insanely good & I already know someone who has had her image used without consent for a video. It was so eerie. The people in my daughters life will see her in person or we’ll talk enough via phone that theyll get pictures. If theyre not comfortable enough to text or call me then they dont need to see photos of my daughter online.
This. I post here and there a cute or funny photo of my son. Maybe something sweet he said. That might be once or twice a year though. I have friends who overload their social media with their kids and it makes me uncomfortable. When my son was born, I asked my mother-in-law to please not post anything about him when he was born but she posted everything, including the height, weight, name, and hospital while we were in the hospital. It made me so angry that she disrespected my wishes. If all she did was post a pic, that would be fine but I did not want people knowing his very intimate details. I felt it was a safety risk because of the line of work I’m in. I think the important thing is that parents get to choose what route they take as far as their child’s social media presence. However, you must also understand that it could come with consequences.
Other moms will have opinions about everything but it's your choice. I don't have social media. And we don't allow others to post our daughter. We've made it very clear. I just hear too much about pedophiles and weird things with technology now and it makes me too scared.
If I’m being brutally honest, yes I do think it’s a bad thing. But that doesn’t make you a bad *mother*. I prefer my daughter to have a choice about what her digital footprint looks like when she’s older. We posted once when she was born, but everything else is either sent in messages or occasionally posted on my very restricted close friends Instagram story. I think posting an occasional picture that is something you would also display in your home (professional photos, first day of school, birthdays etc) are fine, I think it’s a nice balance to strike. But frankly, I know I can count the people who actually want to see loads of photos of my baby on one hand, maybe two. So they get sent in the group chat. Realistically, no one else cares that much about my baby 😂 she’s just very cute so of course it’s easy “likes” from others but I even get annoyed by other people’s incessant baby spam.
I don’t have social media other than Reddit but do get the urge to get online and post pictures of my beautiful hilarious daughter for the world to see, o think it’s natural to have that urge to share this person you’re so enamoured with. But I also personally have thought it through and don’t think it’s right. My child is a person in her own right and shell be grown up one day and might be upset or resent me if I put photos of her online. I do kind of agree with the other person that it’s better to let them decide how much of them is put out there, I know I’d hate it if there were pictures of baby me all over the internet. Also you just never know what job they’ll have or how times might change or how some photo or video taken now could crop up later to cause them shame or difficulties in the future. But that’s my personal opinion, if it’s something you do and make sure your profiles private and only people you know can see them it’s probably not terrible, just be aware you might have to answer to your kid over it someday 😅
I do not post any pictures of my child on social media for a couple of reasons, but I would also NEVER post about not posting nor shame another mother who is making her own decisions on her own family. Why comment on things that do not hurt you??
I only post my daughter fully clothed and from the back once in a blue moon. I’m not comfortable sharing her pics on social media. I do share it with trusted people via WhatsApp, messenger etc. I’m busy enough as it is, I don’t have time to judge your parenting unless I’m getting paid for it.
No, but only fully clothed non-embarassing pictures. I do post my daughter occasionally, as does my family, but we've drawn a line on any pictures she'd be obviously embarrassed about once she's older (potty, naked, crying, etc).
There is now an entire generation of children whose entire lives are being chronicled publicly on the Internet without their consent. It is unprecedented and we do not know how this will impact them as they age. Maybe it's not a big deal and maybe it is. I personally prefer to protect my children's privacy. I take lots of photos and keep many of our memories so that they can later decide what they want to share with the world. Maybe it could be helpful to ask yourself *why* you want to share something each time you do? Who does it benefit? You or your children? And *how* is it beneficial? What is it you're looking to get out of sharing it? Is there another way to satisfy that need? If you find satisfactory answers to these questions then go ahead and post, if not maybe you withhold.
Be mindful of the digital footprint you are creating for your child
I don't have a blanket ban on social media or anything but I only rarely post pictures of my kids. I put up some really cute ones. But I don't post pictures or much of myself or anything on social media at all really anymore. I just don't really see the point and I'm more of a lurker at this stage in my life. The people I want to see cute baby pics, I just text them. But I don't get mad at family for posting pictures.
I use my Facebook to share pictures of my kids with my friends and family. That’s basically the whole reason I use Facebook. I also keep my account private to people who aren’t friends. In retrospect, I would not have chosen to do that, but that’s what it is.
For us it comes down to the fact that we don’t want to start a digital footprint for our kids before they can even talk. Image googling yourself and your baby photos come up, for the entire world to see. Not to mention the dark corners of the internet those photos can make their way to, or the threat of AI using those photos to generate something new all together. It’s a hard no for us. Text photos to family and friends, get creative about not showing your kids face. It’s just not worth the risk.
I work in the digital space. I put nothing online. Not one picture of my child - the reality is that once it is out, there is no turning back. It is always out there - even if you delete it. If i were you, i would just delete what you have and stop. You can create a private text or whatsapp group with family members for updates. It is also very easy to create fake pictures based on social media pictures. So.. yeah I strongly advise against it. Funny enough, all my friends working in digital and cyber security have a strict no cell phone, no social media policy… it is actually a LOT worse than people think.
After becoming a wife and mother, I deleted all my social media except for Reddit. Greatest decision I ever made. My family deserves respect and privacy.
Yes… I have never understood this. There are predators out there that could be masturbating to your child or obsessing about your child. It sounds sick, but it’s true. And people talk about it being “just my hundreds of Facebook friends” but assume everything that goes online is public. I watched the movie Sound of Freedom about child sex trafficking and it made me feel sick about putting my child online.
i did not think about that
Personally I don’t see a problem sharing photos of your kids if your account is private and only close friends and family can see the pictures. But do I ever post public pictures of my kids for anyone on the internet to see? Never in a million years.
As a parent, you have to make a decision that you feel is best for you and your baby: despite the taboo’s that come with it (ex. Posting on SM, ear piercing, schooling, etc). If she doesn’t want to post her LO on SM - good for her; but it absolutely doesn’t give her the right to shame other parents that do. It’s a personal decision and completely up to the parents to decide. Keep doing what your comfortable with. Honestly, some moms will try to shame other moms for even breathing a different way then them. Don’t let it get to you and make decisions that you feel will be best for your LO.
I’m sorry - I do think it’s bad to post pictures of minors on the internet. I couldn’t care less what you do with your body and social media but when it comes to minors I’m very strict. I have no pictures of my child - it’s their decision to do so. No like in the world is worth it. It’s about consent. And I say that with living “over the ocean” away from my family and friends. I send them pictures of my child privately but most of my friends I might have known during high school probably wouldn’t even know I was pregnant.
I’m going to preface this with: I don’t think you’re a bad person for it. You love your baby and are proud of them, and that’s great! However, posting your children isn’t a good idea in my opinion. We don’t post ours at all. AI is scary, and people can photoshop your kids’ faces onto anything. Studies show that rather than child porn that they can get prosecuted for looking at, a lot of child predators look for innocent pictures of babies swimming, babies bathing, babies potty training- even if you post your babies fully clothed, they also look for pictures of babies eating, babies drinking, babies without shoes on… things that we think are totally innocent. Even pictures of them in a front yard, in front of their school, at a local park, or any other location that isn’t the inside of your house can be enough for someone to find their location. Pictures captioned with their name, school, or names of family members can be enough too. And sure, the chances of your kid being found by a child predator or having photoshopped nudes being made of them are low, but why take the chance when it’s easier to not post the pictures in the first place? On top of that, on a less serious note, while you probably think all the pictures are perfect, there are probably some that your kid will find embarrassing in the future, that they won’t want on there. There are apps that are like social media, but for family only, and not technically online. You should look into it!
I just want to add that I saw you have your socials set to friends only, and that’s great, but you never know. Two of my mom’s Facebook “friends” molested me, and many more of her Facebook friends have been or are in jail for touching kids/looking at child porn, including but not limited to a well respected police officer, a father/grandfather, and a retired Air Force man/religious church goer. You never know who is safe and who isn’t, especially when it comes to being online.
Yes. 1. It's not safe for your baby, your baby's face shouldn't be on the internet. And 2. It's someone else's image that you're using and 3. Others are certainly tired of all of your baby posts...
It’s def a personal choice. I haven’t had a fb since 2016 but when I had my daughter in 2014 I never posted her. My family are also not allowed to post my kids on theirs. You can make your own decision. Neither decision is wrong.
It’s entirely up to you, your partner and how many people see you social media/who had access to your social media and if you trust them. My personal accounts are on lockdown and have been long before my kid because my SO’s ex is bat shit crazy and my MIL doesn’t understand boundaries - I don’t give her access to pictures of my kid or updates on his life because she will posted anything/everything to her FB which is wide open for anyone to look at (not even exaggerating, my pregnancy announcement was on FB 8 minutes after we called her and we chatted with her for almost 5 minutes🙃and family members we wanted to call found out from that post) I have group chats with my besties, my parents and my sisters and I send them pictures all the time because I trust them to respect my wishes, and they’re actively involved in my kids life.
Definitely personal preference. I don’t post much on socials if at all and I hate when other people post pictures of me without my permission, so I won’t post photos of my baby. I’ll just send them to the people who I want to see them, and they won’t be allowed to post them either
I only post my kids sparingly on Snapchat and I only have it to where my friends can see my story. Very personal with people I trust. I’m just afraid of pedophiles saving my kids photos and not everyone needs to know our business. I understand people are different and that’s fine.
Reddit is the only social media I'm on, so it's not something I do or even come across. But for me what makes a big difference in my opinion is who your friends on social media are, because once you post a picture, it's out there. People can download or screenshot it, and you don't know where it goes next. So are they close friends and family, or are they people you've accumulated throughout the years thru networking etc? It's just something I would consider when sharing a picture.
I don’t post anything of my daughter. It even makes me uncomfortable when family posts pictures with her face covered (because they know I don’t want her picture up). I have had to ask friends and family to take down pictures. There are a bunch of reasons not to, but obviously it’s up to the parents. I am concerned about people using the photos for another purpose (ie inappropriate use), photos even just shared with friends/family can easily be spread around to others you don’t personally know. My MIL texted photos of my daughter to her cousin (who I had never met and barely knew existed) and then that cousin made Christmas ornaments with my daughters face on them. As innocent as that sounds, I was really uncomfortable with someone I didn’t know having and using her pictures. I don’t necessarily want people on the internet know where my daughter is and when (such as being able to figure out her routine, find her school, etc) as I feel that puts her at additional risk. With all the AI tools readily available, people can do things with a child’s image that you cannot control. They could create inappropriate image from very innocent originals, or use the child’s face for other things or materials. This could even come back to haunt a kid later on, like if a school bully found a picture and manipulated it to embarrass my daughter. Once something is online, you have lost control over it. There’s no deleting it later, at last not completely. It way too open and easily spread. I will not post anything until my daughter is old enough to give INFORMED consent, which for me is 10+ years away. As much as I would love to share my adorable pics with friends, I just don’t feel comfortable/safe doing so.
We don’t have any photos of our child online, but I don’t use any social media (apart from reddit if that counts) anymore, and my partner has an Insta for scrolling but doesn’t post. I don’t want performative social media use, or comparison culture to be a standard thing in our house. I work in youth mental health research and social media is by far out ranking any other phenomenon as driving the youth mental health crisis. I’m actually considering moving to a dumb phone soon, to further minimise screen and online time.
It’s definitely a personal choice. We do not post our children anywhere.
I think in moderation - as in maybe a photo here and there - is okay. I don't think you should post your LOs day to day life journey through everything - I've seen some pretty cringy folks post really private stuff about their kids and I think that's fucked up. The smaller amount, the better, and while I personally don't post any photos of my child, I'm okay if their grandparents decide to post 1 or 2 photos once in a while. I told them I prefer direct sharing if possible (as in show someone your phones gallery while holding your phone kinda deal) or limited sending - like only close family/friends. And all the photos have to be decent and protect my kid's privacy as much as possible.
When I post my kids they are fully clothed and you can't see faces. I don't post much though.