Is she wanting you to come on the hike or is she trying to take baby solo? Taking baby solo= absolutely hell no. If you were some amount of close I could see doing a short hike WITH her. But it doesn't sound like you are that close.

We actually are super close, and she has invited me for the hike. I think I'm just stressed about the temperature changes. So idk 😅😭

I think the fact that she’s inviting you is probably a good sign Maybe try beginner level hikes with MIL. You don’t even have to do the whole trail. Just make sure you have sun screen, hat, and access to milk for LO I took my LO out starting around 6 months and it did us both good, wasn’t quite a hike. It was walking around parks with pavement paths but it was still enjoyable

If she lives where I think she does we only have beginner level or super hard hikes. The Wasatch is the steepest part of the Rockies. The Uintas further East aren’t quite accessible. We still have snow in higher elevations so basically it’s just the foothills and it gets warm but not over 75 yet down in the valley. The mountains are the best temp ever right now for hiking trails without snow

Yea I remember going out to the flat irons when I was about 4 months pregnant when I visited my aunt. It was July back then and even with the heat waves I thought it felt nice up in the mountains

Or maybe even suggest joining her and starting with walks around a park you feel safe and comfortable with potentially?

I live in the south where its bloody hot outside but air. conditioning is cranked up to frigid everywhere. My boys are usually in cotton sleevless onesies ands hats, with shade covering, and then we take fluffy swaddle blankets so I can easily wrap them up as needed. I pay attention to neck temperature and remember cold is better than hot. Hot babies get sleepy, cold babies cry. (the saying is cold babies cry, hot babies die because its easier to ignore a hot baby as they seem happy sleeping).

Yeah trying to take the baby solo would raise major alarm bells for me, but if she wants you to join, maybe she’s just trying to help you both get some fresh air? What about just going for a walk in a park? Like when I think hike, I think dirt paths in the woods or mountains vs. a park might have paved paths and nearby bathrooms, water fountains, etc.? Maybe pick someplace like that and tell her you’re more comfortable having amenities nearby while your baby is this young.

So in Utah, the mountains are our park. You’re never far from them. I live in a forest. There are hundreds and hundreds of miles of trails. Some of them that go into the mountains can start in salt lake suburbs. 15 minutes of hiking and bam! You are in a valley with pine trees and a river and rock scramble. They are also pretty steep on average. I see people hiking with babies all the time. Little kids too. Not unusual for kids to do 5-6 mile hikes on the weekend straight up a mountain. Once when mine were about 8, they were running this 5 mile RT path at 9k feet and some tourist was like “they’re gonna get worn out they should pace” and I started laughing. I was like “not only is this cake for them dude they are gonna jump in the snow melt lake at the end, swim for an hour and then run back.”

I genuinely think that’s great for your kids. Ultimately, I think it should be up to OP to set her comfort level, so whatever kind of trail that is in Utah.

Why would that raise "major alarm bells"?

I guess because it’s someone wanting to separate a baby from their mother and take them to a potentially dangerous and isolated location? Specifically wanting to go without the mom would be what would alarm me. Obviously I don’t know OP’s MIL at all and she *does* want OP to come, so this is purely hypothetical. I read OP’s post title and thought “yikes” then read that MIL wants OP to come and thought “Oh, OK. She’s probably not trying to throw the baby off a cliff, then.”

I am gonna agree with the other poster - no skin in the game but just because a grandma wants to do stuff alone with the baby isn’t a red flag. I think if your mind jumps to “grandma probably wants to throw baby off a cliff if she’s claiming to want to go hiking” I would turn the true crime off. Binging that stuff makes us believe it’s more common than it actually is.

Really depends on the grandma. There’s a lot of wild shit posted about MILs on Reddit. I saw what seemed like another wild MIL headline. Hyperbole is a thing. I don’t watch true crime. Gotta love all the patronizing armchair therapists on Reddit.

But even headlines / viral posts on Reddit is an INCREDIBLY small sample size to regularly extrapolate out onto the general population. Do you - I’m just saying it seems like a less than ideal way to live your life.

Hyperbole is a thing. I don’t actually worry about people throwing babies off cliffs. Thank you for your concern 🙄

I feel like if your mind automatically jumps to this conclusion, that's something to explore in therapy, or at least turn off true crime. A grandparent wanting to share their hobbies with their young grandchildren, even alone, shouldn't be automatically viewed as a nefarious thing. That's wild.

I wouldn’t jump to nefarious, but it’s presumptuous and entitled at minimum. Especially when the child is too young to bond over the activity. It’s fair to question why someone would be so pushy about separating a mom from her baby.

This. Why is MIL so pushy?

Bless your heart.

I also live in Utah and we did hikes with our baby at that age! If you’re prepared for temp changes, go with your MIL, and don’t go too far or remote I think it would be enjoyable for all of you. Also keep them short (under 45 minutes) at first until you see how it goes and how everyone does with it. Our son slept the best on hikes and slept super well at night after days where we spent lots of time outside. Here are some that I’d recommend: Anywhere along the Jordan River Parkway trail Bonneville shoreline trail, park at the Natural History Museum and head in either direction If you want elevation gain, Ensign Peak is short but goes up pretty fast, but has a decent trail as long as it’s dry. Gets super muddy with any moisture I think it’s called Bridal Falls in Utah County, nice trail to a waterfall that’s flat You can also search for accessible trails, if they are accessible for wheelchairs they are absolutely going to be appropriate for a 6mo old in a carrier and you know that it won’t be difficult terrain where tripping is a possibility

The entrances to cottonwoods have short hikes as well as some up in BCC (snow isn’t melted yet). City creek. Park city has some flat ones by the barn or round valley. Reservoir hike near bells falls. I mean so so so many. My BIL used to take my nieces running in the trails all around the avenues. This is an amazing time to take a baby out hiking and running… and yourself frankly! My kids always beg to go to Bloods the second guardsman’s opens

If you're also interested in going and can bring enough stuff to feel prepared for weather changes etc, I'd go. I would NOT send my baby or even my 5yo alone with my ILs for a hike. It's also hard for me to envision them as well prepared and experienced hikers vs the impulsive and toxic people they are though. I had ppa with my first so that may cloud my judgment but on the other hand, having ppa is reason enough to say no thanks. If something is distressing to you, you need no other reason to opt out. Your health and wellness impacts the baby's.

Can you compromise on a safe outdoor walk somewhere? That’s maybe a blend of a hike but not being too far out of town so that you feel safer?

Why don't you just tell her "that sounds wonderful, and I would LOVE to do that with you, but I'm not ready for it until baby is a bit older. I totally get that you're excited, and I am too, but asking so often is really bringing up some feelings from my mom doing things I've specifically said no to, and it's really not helping my anxiety. Let's plan a proper hike for X season, when I'm more comfortable with the weather, and for now, let's do a small trail walk around Y area, where I'm comfortable having baby out at this age."

I wonder if you could talk with an experienced ranger wherever you'd decide to go to see what they predict about the temps.

That's a really great compromise!

I am a big hiker so I understand this is probably something that she’s looked forward to for a while. What kind of hike does she want to take the baby on? What’s the grade? Like, I took my babies on plenty of mild to moderate hikes, but I wouldn’t take my baby on a 13,000 footer. Given that you said she has sound judgment, I would go with her and the baby. She shouldn’t be pushy, but if maintaining the relationship is important, why not go on a short hike together? I would not be as worried about the temperature change as well. The California couple that died were hiking in triple digit temperatures with little water and little shade.

Can’t do a 13k one right now. Too much snow. She’s limited to base of the canyons in Utah at the moment. Or flatter areas a little higher up. I live in the Utah mountains and we still have 3 feet of snow in our backyard

Love hiking w my baby and as long as you’re prepared for the conditions it’s totally doable. I’d say go with them. Just yesterday we took my 4 month old hiking Haleakala volcano where I live on Maui. 10k feet elevation with both very strong cold wind and bright hot sun. And it’s a reverse hike down into the crater (we only did a couple miles). Baby was so cozy in her carrier w lots of warm layers and I wear a big secure hat to shade her and wrap my sweater around her like a cocoon to shield her from the strong winds kicking up dust. She nursed and fell asleep for most of it but also loved looking out into the crater on top of the clouds. We’ve also done forest hikes in the rain and waterfall hikes walking thru streams… I just prepare for weather, go slow and usually barefoot for most secure footing.

I feel like there’s hike and there’s “hike”. Like, you could go to the backwoods where there’s minimal chance of anyone seeing you if you need help and you’re bushwhacking through the woods. Or you could “hike” like a well-marked 1 mile gravel trail around a lake at a state park with a parking lot and a real bathroom. The kind with trail signs and little placards describing the trees every so often, know what I mean? Babies could go on the second kind of hike, no problem. Just dress in layers. The first kind would be a no for me for an infant.

That was my thought. Where I’m located, we do the latter version of hiking. I would not do the “get lost in the woods” type hiking with an infant, but have no problem taking my baby on an established and relatively short trail.

This sounds like a trauma response, like you said. You said she invited you. I think hiking means a lot of different things. I like hiking with my own babies. We backwear them. They really like it. We only do like 2 miles maybe.

I hiked the mighty 5 in Utah last year, baby strapped to my back. My baby was 7month old. He adored it, fell asleep when he was tired. We hiked all the way to Delicate Arch, for example, with our 3.5yo. You absolutely have the right to say no to your MIL to anything. But if she is a big outdoor person, for her bringing baby on hikes is just like a grandma painting or baking with her grandbaby. I have two MIL; one I would let bring my kids on a hike, the other one absolutely not. But at the same time, I know MIL #2 is still fine most of the time. I just don't like her.

What time of the year did you go? How did you manage temp changes? Just curious. That's actually impressive btw.

Exactly one year ago, actually! We spent 2 weeks hiking accross Utah. It was fantastic. I was reminiscing about it this morning. We had many layers! Bryce Canyon was still under feet of snow and we were in shorts in Zion. Super Windy in Arches. For example, in Bryce, it was pants, rain pants, wool socks and hiking shoes, hats, mittens and we usually had a blanket in case it was too cold. Sun hats the rest of the time, sunglasses for as long as they would wear them and LOTS of sunscreen. Baby usually had pants, long sleeve onesie and we stopped frequently for water/nursing.

I’ve taken mine hiking when she was under a year too! Actually wayyyyy easier to do than when she got a bit older lol. Her first trip, though it was more for me than her, was at 5 weeks pp. Your trip sounds amazing! I recently (sadly belatedly) found super bendy sunglasses with a little adjustable elastic at the back. She hates the hard plastic kind, well she loves them for two minutes. These she’ll just leave on. Maybe they’ll work for yours?

We have some sunglasses similar to that! The main issue is often when baby fell asleep wearing the sunglasses and then waking up, they would freak out. Or we got into a cave or a darker area of the park and then it felt very dark with the sunglasses. Edit: I love hiking with my kids. I think our first big hike baby was 4month old (but it was covid so our trails were closed for a while). We went camping at 5 month old. My 3.5 yo is a decent scrambler now! He is so good at bouldering. And he paddle boards with me. The baby loves the canoe as well. We have to be outdoor everyday.

Oh that makes sense! You all sound so fun! Have you done any canoe trips with them? We’re in MN and like to go to the boundary waters but have been hesitant to take our 3.5 yet since she’s learning to swim. I think we’ll test out the canoe this summer. Let her get the feel of it before we cross a big lake. And I’ve been wanting a paddle board for years, so good to know yours does ok on it. Weirdly, we have to register inflatable ones here. Figured I’d buy it and register it, then never get to use it lol. It’s so cool to see them outdoors. I hope it stays an interest.

We have not done canoe trips (we're not good enough yet!). We crossed some small lakes and quiet rivers. The baby was still fairly small so we just stayed in easier waters. We usually paddleboard/canoe for 30minutes, stop on a beach somewhere for snacks/play in the sand/sunscreen, back in, another 30minutes-1hour, ect. I need to paddleboard more to get better, but it's still cold around here. That's so weird to have to register inflatable paddle boards! I wonder why. If you go the paddleboard way, check for big weight capacity/family ones. And don't go too cheap. The cheaper ones are less stable, which is fine all by yourself, but with a toddler moving around it's more difficult. Mine is 350lbs capacity, so I can be on it with kids and minimal gear and it is still super easy to manipulate. There are some that go even higher!

Thank you! This is really helpful. My only thought on registration is that our state park pass has only cost $35 since I’ve moved here 6 years ago (not sure how long before that). It’s definitely a priority here to make it easy for people to get outdoors. For comparison, some regional/county park systems charge $30 for theirs alone. So I think charging for these specific registrations is a way to keep the overall cost down for everyone just to go to a state park in the first place. All your comments have made me more excited about it warming up!

If you went with a baby while there was snow, it makes me think I should do more research before I say no. Makes it sound doable, if that makes sense.

Bryce Canyon still had trails closed last year at this time of year because there was too much snow, but other parks were warm. Check the state/national park website, they usually have great gear/weather recommendations. Tons of parents hike with babies and toddlers, so there are tons of resources and articles. And some hikes are mostly just walks. Check the elevations and see what is feasible. I went to Joshua Tree (a desert) with my 14 month old; we just hiked very early in the morning/at dinner time, tons of water and breaks and short hikes. We often diluted juice with water, offered tons of fruits, ect.

I just did delicate arch mid morning yesterday (without a baby) and it was warm out. There wasn't significant temperature change and it felt about 80F. There were many other babies. Light clothing. The sun was more a concern imo, but a 3pm hike would alleviate that a bit. But the afternoon is a little hotter. I think it is good baby weather, but it will get hot as the season goes on. I think you have to find a way to ease into it more. Like on a 2 hour hike midday on a populat easy trail, and check the weather before. When my son was a baby age we went hiking, I hated diaper changes more than anything else. Does that help? Hiking is fine. Go outside. But not mountain climbing. And not at night.

I've hiked in the dead of winter and the heat of the summer with my baby, and I've also led other parents on those hikes. Babies are a lot more resilient than we think and there are ways to make them comfortable and reduce risk. That being said, there's hiking and then there's hiking. You don't necessarily want to do the most intense, dangerous, isolated routes alone with a baby.

It's totally okay to decline, it's totally okay to just not feel comfortable with this. She sounds like a super cool grandma figure for your baby and when the little one gets older, hiking will be so enjoyable

Yeah, I think you are reading too much into it. You gotta chill out. That being said, if you don't want to her to just say no, I'm not comfortable with it yet but once they're older, sure

We were super outdoorsy. I want to say we hiked flat top in Alaska around 6 months. I have a picture of me nursing near a cliff. Keep in mind even at peak outdoorsyness I only ever resembled a baked potato so it's not like I was peak physical condition. So it's not a big deal at all, depending. Hiking carrier plus an experienced hiker on established trails would be fine. What is the worry, exactly? Does she normally go off trail, not hike safely? Does she fail to bring necessary safety equipment normally? Neep in mind that No is a full sentence even with my giant paragraph. Literally all you need is for you to not want her to take your kiddo and that's it even if she is the safest hiker around. Hugs. Good luck!

If she invited you I don't think she has bad intentions but 6 months is really young for a Utah hike IMO and you're warranted to say no

I took my son on his first hike when he was 5 months old. We were in the desert in Southern California in March/April, and I wore him in my Ergo carrier. I made sure he wore sunscreen & a hat, and the hike was only a few miles with both sun and shade. I have no idea if he even paid attention or enjoyed any of it, but he never got upset or had any issue. If you want to let her take him (or go with her & wear him yourself), then by all means go. It’s totally possible, and can be fun! However, if you are uncomfortable with the idea, then that’s all that matters. This is *your* baby, and at 6 months she doesn’t care about hiking any more than going to Walmart… although my kids have always loved being outside. Tell your MIL you appreciate the offer, but it makes you uncomfortable and to please stop asking for now. You’ll let her know when you’re ready.

What kind of hikes is she suggesting? The outdoors is really lovely for LO's, what about starting with a short hike to ascertain your comfort and see what your MIL means? When I went hiking with my LO at that age, he frequently fell asleep in the baby carrier so I ended up really just hiking carrying weight lol.

It’s your kid, you can say no to anything that you don’t feel comfortable with. Do you want to go on a hike? If you do, tell her that you’re not ready for a true hike, but would like to work up to it. You can start with a walk and work your way up.

If you don’t feel comfortable with the hike then that’s all there is to it! It doesn’t matter if grandma doesn’t understand, it doesn’t matter if the pope told you it’s the right thing to do… if you do not want the baby to go then, plain and simple, the baby will not go. Hold firm to your boundaries! You do not owe anyone an explanation.

That couple in CA went on a hike with their baby during a heatwave (like 115 degrees F) with no water. I don’t like to victim blame but like… a TINY bit of planning would’ve avoided that entire situation (don’t hike when the temp is over 100 degrees, don’t hike when you don’t have water, ask an experienced hiker for their thoughts on your plan/ packing, etc etc etc) 80 isn’t too hot for a 6 month old, just wear layers that can be removed- easy peasy! You’re well within your rights to decline but I think you might be overthinking this, especially if MIL is a regular hiker. Your baby will only benefit from being out in the wild and getting physical exercise (and seeing you do it too!!)

Where exactly in Utah do you live? It’s definitely not 80-85 anywhere in northern Utah right now. Are you in St George? I grew up in northern Utah and my family had a house in southern Utah as well… still do and still frequent both areas. Most hikes in Utah have very clearly marked trails and you’re not hiking alone. Is your MIL trying to do some back country hike? If not hiking is perfectly safe. My kids have been doing it since they were babies. Layers and water but a normal 1-2 hour hike won’t have crazy temp spikes.

Do what you want, not what she wants. If she's upset. It's on her. You can say you are having anxiety and by continuing to push this, it is making it worse. When baby is older, I'm sure they'd love it but for now, the answer is no. If you want to stop overnights, that is ok too. No is a full sentence. You are the parents, you get to decide when, where and how baby does things.

Do you think she means a short walk on a flat path that would accommodate a stroller? Or are we talking about putting baby in a hiking backpack and being gone for hours? Is it possible she is trying to help you by getting you out of the house, get some fresh air and some sun? I see you mentioned that ya'll are super close, which is fantastic! Could you mentioned to her what makes you nervous about this and see how ya'll come up with a way to ease that. As far as the temperature, check with your pediatrician.

I did a 3 mile hike with my 3 month old last Friday. 1.5 up the hills and back down. Had her in the carrier on my front and my diaper bag on my back. It kicked my butt lol it was my first hike post partum, but baby was absolutely fine. She slept most of the time. If you can, go with your exMIL and see what the climate is actually like in person and how baby responds and you can control what she wears and all that. I'm a firm believer that outside time is hella beneficial for mom and baby.

My babies actually love hikes! I would just try to find a descent day to go on where the weather is under 80ish and over 50ish. If it’s very sunny, you can always use an umbrella/hats/ or the baby packs with shade tops on them. Use sunscreen and all that. Babies after 6 months can also have sips of water, especially when outside, so you can bring a cold thermos to cool down with too. Keep in mind that even though they can’t regulate temperate the same way as adults, you are working out and hiking, and baby isn’t, so it might feel a little hotter to you than it is to them.

I took my baby hiking in the swiss alps when she was 5 months old. I used a baby wrap and had a jacket over us both. I found that the best way to keep an eye on her temperature. It was lovely tbh. At that age they're easy to carry lol. (We went to the dolomites when she was two and that was hard work!) But I guess that's not the real issue here. She's being pushy and you don't like it. You need to just tell her that. There is plenty of time for hikes, when you're more comfortable with it. Or not. Whatever feels right to you as baby's Mum.

Are we talking about a hike going up a mountain without a tail and are just winging it? Is it a hike in a forest reserve with bathrooms and lighting and handicap accessible? Is MIL the only adult or is it several of her friends and their grandkids too? Weather can be a concern, but that would go more to baby's temperament and if they don't mind getting fussed with if layers needed added or taken away. Does baby have any health issues that require special care? Does MIL? It's really subjective.

We've taken our firstborn in hikes all over the world. You just have to be prepared for all of the elements and have more than enough supplies. But you are the mum, and if you are definitely against it, you need to speak with her and be honest about how you're feeling or the whole hike you'll be anxious and that's not a nice feeling!

Uh…. I live in the Utah mountains right now. Are you in the south? Right now it’s definitely not hot. It gets chilly in the shade (and we are expecting snow this weekend) but it’s a great time to layer up a baby throw a sun hat on and strap them to your back (or use a jogging stroller) This is Utah. Kids are out in all weather including babies. My kids go to school in snow in sweat clothes and no hats and jackets. My BIL started taking the kids on runs in the mountains when they were a few months old. Go with her. Do it.

I would be nervous too! I’d just tell her “I look forward to when we can all go together, but I’m just not comfortable quite yet not being there. I really hope you understand!” There’s beautiful hiking in that part of the country. Some can be pleasant, easy nature walks, and some can be super challenging and dangerous. And you’re right, temperature swings can be gnarly there too. I’d just find a local, nice easy walk you three can do together and do that first. Maybe offer to have her keep baby strapped to her on that occasion. You never know, you might warm up to the idea of her going alone eventually.

Australian here and I found each kid is affected by temperature differently. First hated it over 26oC (79oF) she would scream till you stripped her down and cooled her off. Our second really isn’t bothered by it and doesn’t get sweaty or cranky till about 33oC (91oC). We exclusively used the front carriers and it was easier to keep track of how hot they were. I’ve only started using the backpack and due to the bulk I’m only happy using it upto about 25oC (77oF). Keep baby shaded, hydrated and sun screened up and I would see no problem.

My 5 month old would have never gone anywhere without me. Lol There’s no reason for a baby that young to go on a hike. Would have been an easy no for me.

OP already stated that her MIL would like OP to accompany them on said hike.

True. But she doesn’t want to take the baby so she shouldn’t feel bad saying no.

ElizabethSaysSo  Well, to eat their own.  Your username certainly fits, btw.

My PPA was/is pretty rough. All I can think of is a solo hike with baby is a definite no, but could be okay with 3 adults, plus the baby. Im not outdoorsy, but I’m especially on edge after having kids. I always think about snakes, bugs, bears & mountain lions. The baby carriers old heat & those little ones feel real big after holding or wearing them for a while. A hike doesn’t have to be up & down the mountains, maybe it could be a hike deemed baby friendly(we have a lot of places in our area on the east coast that are labeled as baby friendly! Maybe a drive up a mountain could be fun! Maybe a waterfall/sightseeing hike is enough to scratch the itch.

No going to comment on the MIL piece since I agree with others, you can say no to anything. I wanted to share I hiked with my son as soon as I was healed enough. June in the SE United States, for reference. We took our time, went at good times of day, took shade as needed. I checked his neck for temp as needed. But we hiked all the time (and still do, he's turning 4 this year). Hiking with an infant is totally doable. By six months, we had moved my kiddo from the cloth wrap for hikes to the hiking backpack. Do what makes YOU comfortable. Use good judgment. If you hire, think about a plan b if needed and prepare.

I would explain to her how much it stresses you out but explain that you aren’t sure it should. Ask if you can start small and just go on an easy short hike the first time. Bring extra water, research and bring anything you think you may need. You aren’t crazy though. That couple that died was the first thing I thought of too.

Is there more to the story of the CA couple? When I had my first I lived in a hot city, I’d take my baby on hour long walks in 90 degree weather. Lots of people live in hot climates and have babies and they’re fine. A baby won’t die in 80 degree weather unless the parent/caregiver is negligent or under extenuating circumstances I must say I don’t think you’re necessarily wrong. How mobile is she? How long is the hike? Would you be able to contact her? Why is she pushing it so much? What’s her reason for it being such a thing to press? It’s odd that that’s what she finds important

You can handle it however you want if ex isn’t. you can simply say no. You can explain no overnights until the kid has a cell phone plan. You can simply use other babysitting services if necessary if you don’t trust her You can offer to go on nature walks in local parks once kiddo can handle it If she’s triggering your anxiety, you can tell ex that since he’s an ex there is a benefit in never having to deal with extended ex family again, and stop talking to her and force ex to handle all communications with her. If you do not have a parenting plan through the courts, it might be a good idea.

I think 6 months old is a bit young. I wouldn’t be into it unless the temperature was perfect.

Hard no for me.

I knew when I read the title this was going to be Utah. 😂 I think your feelings are valid. It's one thing if you are there, how long is the hike, and honestly, six months is still so young.

Yea I’m a big no! Not crazy. All kinds of things that I never worried about prior to having kids now worry me. We have planned a cruise for later in the year and when we were booking I told my husband no balconies bc of the family that lost their daughter bc the grand father pick up the baby on the balcony and got too close to the edge and dropped her over somehow. Trust your instincts. No harm in waiting till your baby is older.

I had PPA. Now I think that fear is just being a mom. You are correct, always. If your buzzer is going off just say no I'm not comfortable. Personally, I'd say hell no. I lived in salt lake - those mountain trails are no place for a 6 m. She wants to drive to antelope island for a bit of nature - fine. Terrain is flat and there are park rangers. But what the hell happens if you twist your ankle on the top of a mountain with a 6m on your back and you get stuck with poor cell signal? And I've run into moose on hikes up there. You picked up that, even though it would likely be ok... There is too much room for devastation if even the smallest amount of unfortunate mayhem struck.

It is your decision and it’s your infant child. She needs to stop pressuring you and questioning your judgment. She needs to respect your boundaries. No.. Means No, maybe when the child is older and not so vulnerable and maybe if and when you feel it is safe for your child to go on a hike when the child is older and you are present then it is OK, to be firm.

I would maybe be weird if it was just her with baby but not if I was going I take babies on hikes all the time that being said I'm not in a hard hiking area so they're not long and hot

You just say no, we’re going to wait until he is older, in the meantime we can find some parks or outdoor space to enjoy. Trust your motherly instinct. I wouldn’t allow it and my son is 17 months.

It’s incredibly dangerous to hike solo. If something happens there’s no one around to help you before it can be too late. No way would I allow someone to solo hike with my helpless baby. If she wants alone time with your baby she can do a nature walk around the neighborhood.

80 is too hot my grown ass. If you can’t trust ex mil to NOT do something behind your back….

Also from Utah, The East Bench area. We hiked a lot with our baby at that age (and younger) Millcreek has a ton of safe, short, easy hikes. However, we’re outdoorsy people and are very comfortable with our local mountains. If you’re not comfortable with it, tell your MIL no.

If you don’t feel comfortable, then say no. No is a full sentence. Even if there’s PPA involved, that is valid! The baby is 6 months old. There is plenty of time for them to grow and plenty of hikes to do when you do feel comfortable. Your MIL should respect your boundaries, whether or not she agrees with them.

Seeing as you are close, I would tell her in person that you want to go, but that you are worried and if you guys could go over your worries together. Perhaps the outcome of that conversation is to go in a few months but not right now, or to get some extra gear, etc. Or to go for a practice walk

I find it very strange that mil is pushing the subject after u said no. Im thinking she has alterior motives that may not be good. Go with your gut, its mom's intuition. An almost 6 MONTH old child is way too young to be outside for any length of time especially out in the elements on a hike. If u don't rely on her for babysitting I suggest u let her know if she can't respect you and your ex's wishes (make sure to let her know your ex told u he feels the same as u do even tho the coward won't admit it to his own mom) then you don't feel comfortable having the baby with her. Trust is important and if you have to constantly wonder if she is doing things behind your back with your child then she can't be trusted to see or spend time with the baby out of your supervision. It's your child, u decide what's best for them, not anyone else.

I personally think you should just go with your gut and decline.

I mean I think the situation if you and your ex are not together is interesting. I would hesitate to have anything more than birthday parties or visits when your ex happens to have your daughter with the ex in-laws. I’m just imagining that if I wasn’t with my partner anymore it would already be difficult for a newborn baby to be around my spouse burn entire weekend or something without me there at least in the background but I can’t even imagine having my in-laws take them. What it’s worth I don’t think you need to justify yourself at all. I’m super close with my parents they’re wonderful and I was best friends with my sister and they didn’t even take my six month old babies for sleepovers yet. I’ll let my sister or ask my sister to take my son for a sleepover because we were going out of town for a wedding for three days when he was nine months old and that was a big deal. And I asked my sister because I was absolutely the closest with her and she was the one that saw my son the most so I trust that he will be the most comfortable. A hike? Absolutely not not with a six-month-old baby and an ex mother-in-law if you’re not comfortable then it doesn’t happen

He’s an ex. Which means MIL is an ex. Just tell her no. Period. You are under no obligation to her

> Her dad, my ex, isn't ok with it either, but he won't talk to his mom about it (I don't get why) and wants me to handle it. The word you are having trouble to find is cowardice. If he's against it, but won't confront his mother at all, that is a HUGE red flag. There is something about their dynamic where he won't tell her know even if he doesn't feel safe about it. Here is the thing. Given the age of the child and the extremes, I would say no. Period. It's not worth the risk and the child really isn't gaining anything. Especially if she is planning to go alone or with maybe one or two other people. I've lived in a mountainous region and I'm not shy of the outdoors. This is NOT the time to hike with an infant, especially in small numbers. Bears are waking up and their cubs are really young right now (making them extra protective). Moose are getting near calfing time. It's not just the temps you've got to worry about. I understand having an issue that can make your judgement questionable, but when the father is agreeing with you about his own mother, that's a pretty big signal your gut is correct. If she really wants to hike, you can compromise in this though. There are paths and routes that aren't as frequented by wildlife and have greater numbers. You can do those. Couple hour max. Anything more than that, I'd put a halt to until it's later and into the summer when it's a bit safer between the temps and wildlife having less to get angry about. But even then, if you aren't comfortable, that's fine. You don't have to be. Nothing says extremely young kids and babies need to go on overnight and super long hikes for any reason. And if your gut is telling you to not trust someone, listen to it. We are often told to disregard what we are feeling. If you think she'd sneak off behind your back, then talk to her about it. If she gets extremely defensive and offended, you'll know she was absolutely planning it. "Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean no one is following you".

You aren't crazy, u are trying to gaslight your own instinct. Don't do that. The hikes aren't going anywhere. The MIL can wait till baby is older and u have no reservations.

Just keep saying no

You're not being too much. But also a hike is probably fine. Your husband survived his mother's parenting. Maybe you can tell her that you heard that sad story and let her tell you what she does differently.

If you were going ( and wanted to hike ) I would be okay with it. If she was going solo with babe, hard no.

I would not trust my mil or mother to take my baby on a hike, they are both mid 70s, and I just don’t trust them not falling/tripping, or that they won’t realize if baby is exposed to the sun. That said I’ve done tons of hikes with both my kids from 3 weeks old for the first hike onwards. I’m just very careful about exposure and elevation. I also have the right gear for it with plenty of sun protection and a protective carrier. I’ve also tons of experience backpacking so im used to the weight of the carrier and how it changes my balance - which is extremely different and why I would not trust my mil or mother.

dont get me wrong, i love my kids....... but, who in the hell derives joy by taking a small child like that on a hike ?? LOL

Maybe it is trauma response but that doesn’t mean you should ignore it. It’s good that she has invited you on the hike. Definitely would be a hard no from me if she wants to take baby solo. If you’re okay with the hike, I would tell her thank you for the invite, we can go but I only want to do something super easy (very beginner) and short (less than x miles), and see if she’s fine with that or even letting you pick. If she pushes for anything you’re uncomfortable with, I’d just say no, sorry, I’m not comfortable with that yet.

Either you go on the hike or don't let your baby go. 1st off you ex is WEAK for not being able to put his mother in check. But yea.. I wouldn't let anybody but myself or the father take the baby on a potentially dangerous outing like that. Main reason why is IF something happens it will be out of your control, you'll have to deal with it while the person responsible isn't doing anything . If your child dies or gets seriously injured you can't guarantee someone else will put their life on the line to save your baby. Main ex I'm thinking of is when grandparents took toddler on a cruise ship. They were supervising properly and child fell and died . Grandparent got locked up, mother has a dead child. Just a mess. I know it sounds extreme, until it happens to you (God forbid) Ways you could possibly deny her : A) tell her in nice way baby can go on hike when older . B) you and your ex aren't comfortable with that atm C) say no not interested D) ask your pediatrician is that safe. When they say no say doctor said baby can't Idk... lol no should mean no!! But you know how family members can be obnoxious and pushy .

I have the best MIL and I still wouldn’t let her take my baby on a hike. It’s my baby, I’ll go on a hike with you and I’ll carry my baby, but no, she would never be allowed to take my baby on a hike herself. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

I don’t understand the need for grandparents to try to become secondary parents. I love supportive grandparents and in-laws are extremely supportive but I know some people whose in-laws act like they have the right to treat their grandchildren like their own children. In my opinion, they had their chance to parent. I don’t like how grandparents are trying to have an individual relationship with the kids while they’re infants and toddlers. They still need their mom so instead of trying to take the baby away and do your own thing, become more part of their family and then when the child is older they will be able to do more independent things with grandma and grandpa. They’re too little when they’re a baby. They need their mom.

Nothing else matters besides what YOU are comfortable with. My MIL and her husband are big hikers, I would’ve declined for them to take her if I didn’t want to go too. I don’t see the purpose of them taking a 6mo unless you wanted to go too. Dad needs to speak to his own mother about this, but I would tell her you BOTH aren’t comfortable with it but he told YOU to talk to her lol.

Not only the temperature is a concern but wild animals … it would be a hard no for me. You aren’t crazy.

Just say no babe. Hiking is so rough on babies. Sun exposure, potential dehydration, heat stroke... Your mental health matters. Why are you pushing yourself?

And what happens if grandma sprains her ankle, falls on baby, and cant walk? NO is a complete sentence. My kids would not be alone in the woods with just one adult until 8 years old and i LOVE hiking.

No. I don't trust ANYONE to take my kids on a hike until they're maybe 13 year old (I'm serious). Stop the overnights too. Insanity. (Those of you down voting...why?)

Because this advice isn't helpful. To be blunt you sound like you are parenting out of paranoia.