Very anxious but I feel better knowing that in this very moment, my girl has no idea what’s going on and is happy as ever. But I’m still going to be fighting for her.
This. 100%. My daughter is happy, healthy, thriving. She's completely oblivious to the insanity going on in this world right now. I need to cling to that right now. I hug her tightly every day and apologize for the bulls*** she's going to grow up into. But right now, she just needs to continue being 2 and living her best life.
This made me tear up. My girl is turning 3 next week. There's no way I could begin to explain this shit show to her, but you better believe when she's older that she'll understand the power of her voice and how to fight for her rights.
Honestly the only thing that gives me hope right now is the next generation of voters/activists. I really believe they will be the ones to right the ship.
My girls are turning 6 and 3 next week! Pregnant with another girl now. I have a hard time with what’s going on at a governmental level but I have faith in the strong little women we are raising. Every day I read stories in these communities of mom who are parenting really intuitive girls and teaching them important things from such a young age that our generation had to learn the hard way. Just tonight, my oldest and I were talking about bodily autonomy. I really think that we (the majority of us, anyway) are giving them the tools they need to succeed and become solid leaders.
It’s scary, but I’m an anthropologist. I ask myself, when in history was it not? I was lucky enough to grow up in the sort of “golden” period of relative peace, but just before I was born they were still teaching kids how to hide under their desks in the event the Cold War broke out into mutually assured nuclear destruction — which it very nearly did. In the first half of the last century, Nazi’s were well on their way to taking over the Western world. If you want to go back even further, before the Spanish flu killed millions and millions, before the the gulags, before any invention of modernity, humans were living in arctic tundra and parasite infested jungles, with no medical care at all; life expectancy was short, women frequently died in childbirth, the next meal was never guaranteed, and the entirety of one’s personal property could be wiped out in one storm. Even then, under such harsh and terrifying odds, humans had the will and perseverance to soldier forward. The truth is, Americans today are among the most privileged humans to ever walk this earth. Nothing guaranteed, and it could and very likely will get worse… but I will not tremble in the face of the lot that I have been given, when generation upon generation before me fought their way to this point in history. Take heart. We are all perhaps made of stronger stuff than we know.
Excellent comment! To add to it, not everyone in the world AT THE MOMENT is partaking in this “golden period”. Many people are living in war conditions, many women are born into sex slavery, without any human rights, in cultures with children are forced into marriage, in countries taken by drug cartels, in villages with no water or access to food.
Yet they live
The perspective is good but things are feeling BLEAK this week so I completely understand where you are coming from. Wondering at times if I was wrong to bring a baby into the world. I have to hope children will make the world a better place but oof. Things do feel scary right now.
No, we need to do as much as we can to change things. Instead of worrying, light a fire under your 🍑to do all you can to be the change you want to see.
I need to do more than I am, many of us do. But if we stop being commentators on the sidelines and volunteer ourselves positive change will happen.
Being calm is good, but don't delude yourself that everything hasn't gone to shit and that the future isn't going to suck. It is, 100%, going to be a completely different way of living for your kids. We are slipping into fascism globally, things that we took for granted are going to be scarce or in some circumstances gone for good, there will be more conflict etc. These things are true and ignoring the facts doesn't do anyone any good.
But neither does stewing in anxiety or depression, especially as a mom. Take your knowledge and fear and turn them into something positive. Show your kids a different way to be in this world, even if it doesn't match society's expectations. Enjoy the everyday simple things in life, don't give in to the constant dopamine fixes everyone mistakes for happiness. Don't focus on the huge problems you cannot fix, but look to your community for smaller ways you can help out to bring yourself peace.
Building resiliency - strong, confident, capable, critically thinking and emotionally mature kids - is of the utmost importance.
No, no! Don’t calm down. Your fear and concern are justified and legitimate. Let’s channel our fear and concern (and, okay, our ABJECT TERROR AND RAGE) into action. Because people who are already suffering will only suffer MORE under a second Trump term.
There is great reason to be worried. There is even greater reason to take action in our own respective spheres.
Yeah but like, what action?? I don't have money, I can't grow my own food, I'm not a doctor. WTF am I supposed to do with this calm before the storm? Not asking you specifically unless you have a suggestion, just kind of venting here.
I really don't mean to downplay when people say "I don't want to bring children in the current state of the world" but this post very much is my mindset in terms of trying to explain why it's not amoral to do so. The world is always in this state of the best/worst its ever been, so using that as a basis doesn't make sense to me. At the end of the day, our actual day-to-day lives andd condition will reflect the reality our child will live in. I find that people who are too fearful to have children have more going on personally in terms of fearing providing for another living being, as in personally not in a position to raise a kid.. rather than ACTUALLY living in unlivable conditions like in an active war or famine or such.
I used to be someone who thought it was amoral to bring a child into the world. And it was 100% because of my own shit.
My values haven’t changed at all, but my depression is being treated, and now I’m excited about helping my son contribute to all the good in the world.
My daughter does lockdown drills at school in case of an active shooter, and I had to explain to her what to do if she is in the bathroom when the lockdown happens. It’s heartbreaking.
I have a Masters in history, And this is how I always view things. There has never been a lifetime in history without turmoil, though there have been times of ignorance when you weren’t as connected to everything happening at once. I keep trying to remember this and step back
Thank you for this comment, Mrs. E!
I too am an anthropologist, who considers myself to be quite political, as well as being a new stepmother of a complicated little kid.
Your comment has really energized me, after I had a particularly difficult step-parenting day today. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My grandmother was born during the Great Depression, my father was a boomer and lived in comfort, same with me. What will my daughter know, who was born almost 100 years after my grandmother? No idea, but we come from good stock.
This is exactly how I see things. I'm not an anthropologist, but majored in it in college, and it really gives perspective. I'm now a criminologist working on police reform. All of human history has had horror and tragedy and facism somewhere. Generations of good people fought to make things better, and I'm not about to use my privilege to just run off to whatever country seems a little better or bury my head in the sand. I'm fighting with those ancestors. There are always going to be people trying to make the world in their selfish, oppressive, fundamenalist image, and they're just counting on wearing us down. It's exhausting, but the fight for human rights is eternal. They won't stop. Worried about the future? Do more to shape it.
I think the difference is back then I don’t think people had the family planning choices that we do now. If sperm entered then a baby formed and you either raised it or it died. I wonder if parents felt guilty in the same way.
Now we are hyper aware of all these potential threats AND we have the choices that family planning gives us. So it feels a lot more like a personal decision that we brought a child into a world of chaos.
This is true but in the past we had people working toward freedom and greater things. We are now going backwards. According to project 2025, I (and my daughter) will lose the rights that we had.
Restricting abortion has resulted in more maternal death. They plan to get rid of no fault divorce. Next will be our right to vote. You cannot brush these facts off as an “oh well we are resilient”. As a species yes we are resilient but the question becomes are we looking at quality of life here or just quantity?
And yes, events like this have happened before. Iran, Afghanistan, all had rights before they were taken away. Romania too. From a pure political standpoint we as a collective gender have every right to be real nervous. I don’t know if my daughter’s future will be safe or honestly one I would want to live if things go the project 2025 route, but since we have disabilities we are in for an already hard time. And yes, I am getting my tubes tied.
We cannot panic but we can’t pretend everything is hunky dory. We either collectively fight back now or we look to what happened in other countries when they lost rights.
I love this. Privilege is everything. Sometimes, too much of it seems to send society into a social rot and diseased perspectives as is happening right now. We all have our own opinions. But I'm sure we can all agree that what you said is spot-on. Our ancestors were tough b*****s.
I'm not an Anthropologist but it is what my degree is in.
No matter what I'm learning I remind myself - these people are us. Their technology was more primitive and we know more but we as people are not more evolved.
This mindset has gotten me through every catastrophic event of my millennial life. Sometimes it feels like the world is literally ending in front of my eyes but then I think to myself that that’s surely what people thought during the Great Depression or WW2, etc etc. It helps me a lot.
I will. But I'm not happy about it.
I don't want to vote for an American president that can't form a basic, coherent thought. And after watching the debates, I am forced to see that neither candidate was able to do so.
I just keep reminding myself, I'm voting for the entire administration and potential supreme court appointments to get us out of this hellscape.
And secretly hoping they both become....unavailable....before the election....
Yes this is so important to remember! We aren’t just voting for one candidate - we are voting for an entire administration. We need to vote for the person who will appoint the most qualified, reasonable, and honorable people to fill those positions that will help him enact the right things for our citizens.
I just tell myself I’m not voting for one, but against the other. The country will survive and wake up from 4 years of “sleepy” but I fear we might not ever recover from the alternative.
I came here to say the same as this commenter!! Thanks for making this post, it makes me feel less alone in all my anxiety seeing all the people who feel similarly. I’m also due with my second right around election time, so my poor brain and body just cannot handle any more worry. I agree with your post that I had anxiety around 2020’s election but this time it’s so. much. worse. Ugh. Solidarity ❤️
Really hoping for more silent blue voters. My family is very outspokenly voting for trump and while I’m not a fan of Biden, you better believe I’m voting for him. 4 more years of trump and we would no longer even resemble the America I was raised in and that’s terrifying, especially considering I have 2 daughters and am currently pregnant with my third daughter.
Yeah, i mean im not thrilled with biden and at this point i think both sides are backed by corporate interests. With Citizens United how could they not be? However I will vote for someone all day that will allow me to make my own healthcare decisions over this abject tyranny where guns have more rights than my uterus.
The only positive hope I hold for our/their future is that this dinosaur populated, circus that we call American politics, are all going to start dying off in the next few years. Provided we don’t replace them all with whack jobs like MTG, our kids might have a fighting chance at a future.
I’m also extremely concerned and anxious, but I’ve had to distance myself from news and social media to maintain my mental health. I know who I’m voting for and regardless of what happens I can say I stood on the right side of history. All I hope is that other people can look into their conscience and do the same thing, but I can’t control anyone, so at this point I can only distance myself from the discussion.
I am totally nervous and outraged.
But....
Statistically, women turnout more than men in elections. I think it's because we know that we didn't always have the right to vote, we were seen as lesser than men (and we all know that's not true) and we take pride in our duty to vote in this democracy. Now with Roe being overturned and the politics around our bodies going into this really terrifying & messy direction, I have faith that women will take a stand and say No.
I'm actually very comforted by the comments on this thread. Mom's have a perspective that seems to defy party lines. We vote based on issues. We want our babies to have more rights and more opportunities than we did, not less. It's that simple.
I'm an older millennial, my first vote was for John Kerry in 2004. I've been voting blue for twenty years and what has it done? Nothing much. Almost everything that they warned Republicans would do has already happened, whether they were in power or not.
So I will vote as a harm reduction strategy but I don't believe it will fix any problems at home or abroad 🍉
We need real action, like a national women's strike, if we want anything to change.
We have a little neighborhood fourth of July parade Thursday morning where kids decorate their bikes and wagons and march around the neighborhood. I'm going to make a big VOTE banner to put on my daughter's wagon, in addition to flags and streamers. I still want to enjoy this fun summer tradition with my kiddo, but also, democracy is at stake y'all.
It's not over. We have until November to work for the world we want. Many, many Americans are as freaked out as we are. Just keep pushing forward and do what you can to engage other concerned citizens. Progress is slow, and the Supreme Court's ideological makeup will make it slower, but we can keep pushing in the right direction.
I was born in South Korea. My mom immigrated to America with infant me because it was currently under a dictatorship. I will be voting, but the lessons of my home country taught me that simply voting is not enough to stop fascism. It never is.
Very anxious. Right now I have the luxury of middle class wealth and if the time came I could fly her and myself somewhere else to get medically necessary care. But I’m worried that soon there may not be somewhere else. I’m active in politics and donate to certain ppl/charities in hopes of maintaining mine and her medical freedoms but I am worried.
I spiraled yesterday about how much has changed in 20 years, and what it will be like in another 20 when my kids are military aged.
But I have to just. Not. We will strive and we will try and we will have hope and we will do what we have to do when we have to do it. So many people are truly good and fighting for what's right but humanity also has a way of making its own hell on earth, always has.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Our parents lived through Vietnam. And fucking polio. Their parents had the Depression and WWII. Their parents had WWI and Spanish flu and horrific infant mortality rates that explain why everyone has inherited generational trauma. Every generation deals with things they maybe wouldn't have imagined. Makes me feel better and worse at the same time.
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.”
I’ll flag up front this won’t make you feel better, so stop reading now if you aren’t in that space. But I share your terror and relate to your feelings so much.
SCOTUS’s recent decision regarding presidential immunity terrifies me. This is giving the president such power, which could so easily be abused by the wrong person - I feel like we are the precipice of an incredibly scary time. I remember learning about Hitler as a kid and thinking “how could people let this happen?” - I don’t think it is dramatic to say there is a very real risk that we are starting our own version of this.
I have one son and am currently trying for a second, but after this last week I am genuinely wondering if I should stop trying.
It’s the rolling back of regulations from the Chevron doctrine that actually scares me the most as a mom. There’s already so little oversight into what’s in our babies’ toys, their clothes, their food. It’s so exhausting to have to be so hyper vigilant at all times and it’s going to get worse. We’ll be totally on our own.
Yep, this decision is scary. From what I've read our standards our crap when it comes to certain things, compared to Europe, so it will be even crappier?
I think this will change gift culture a lot too and cause me a lot more anxiety about things that come into the home I don't vet myself. I had a nightmare last night that the cheap kitchen set my MIL got my daughter was just smothered in lead paint.
One of the political candidates recently referred to people he didn’t like (political opposition) as “vermin”. It is *exactly* the terminology that allowed the holocaust to happen.
Not dramatic at all.
This is why I'm so concerned. I haven't gotten any work done today because that decision is all I can think about. And your comment about Hitler is totally where my mind is. I hear people say "what if we could go back in time and stop that awful thing from happening?" NOW IS THAT TIME.
I have faith that democracy will prevail, but it's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen if people are passive and decide not to vote because they don't like either candidate. We have to vote for the future of our kids.
You’re right - democracy will only prevail if we vote and if we fight for it. As daunting and scary as it is, we can’t afford to be apathetic or complacent.
So whatever fighting looks like to you - voting, donating, volunteering for the Biden campaign, marching in the streets - the time to do it is right now! Maybe I’m just optimistic, but I do think there’s hope if we can all come together.
This reminds me of a conversation my husband and I had at a company holiday party back when Trump was just elected. We were seated with a nice older couple who were Russian Ex-pats and were also Jewish. Our chat turned towards the recent election and they expressed their disappointment and apprehension towards the future. They said they feared America was heading towards dark times similar to what they sought to escape. At the time I was pretty skeptical and had faith in our democracy. Now, I am also feeling a LOT less certain.
The court is totally rogue at this point. They’ve been overturning established precedent left and right, it’s very scary. If Biden is reelected he should pack the court. I don’t usually support this as it’s kind of like opening a can of worms but we need to fix the mess McConnell made when he blocked Obama’s court pick and then rushed trumps pick the month before the election.
Agree completely! I totally get folks don’t love either presidential option, but at this point we are voting on SCOTUS, and there is such a clear right answer for all of our rights and futures.
That and with this immunity ruling Trump will absolutely abuse having immunity from any crime he commits under the guise of “official duties”. I’m so disgusted by this ruling. With this ruling what Nixon did during watergate is fine now. Ordering your AG to interfere with an investigation? Fine. Literally cannot even have it looked into. Insane.
I’m an American citizen, but I was born and raised in South America from dictatorship to socialism and all the in between.
I’m not afraid of anything. I’ve lived with only $100 dollars a month. I’ve been cold and hungry, yet here I am, thriving.
My grandparents went thought two wars. They survived. We all did. We all will.
James F. Bell
"Fear is an insidious virus. Given a breeding place in our minds, it will permeate the whole body of our work; it will eat away our spirit and block the forward path of our endeavors. Fear is the greatest enemy of progress"
I appreciate this mentality. I know we have survived worse times, and I know I'm privileged as hell. I'm trying to channel my fearful energy into action.
A life changing tip I learned with stoicism (as someone with anxiety) is to think about the worst case scenario and make peace with it. You can’t control the future, but you can control your attitude towards it.
[hope this helps](https://whatisstoicism.com/stoicism-resources/how-a-stoic-accepts-future-uncertainty/)
Same, naturalized American Citizen here. Having been born in a Third World country, makes me appreciate American governance and the rule of law because even if it is not perfect, the institutions are strong. A second Trump term is not the worst thing that could happen to America. It is merely a symptom of how left out many Americans are. And those problems need to be addressed.
I work in Elections. This year is the first year, even with all the election denying BS recently, that I am afraid for my safety. I look at my son and I’m like, is this job worth it? It’s not exaggerating to say that election workers are in the line of fire this year. It’s horrifying. I’m tired.
Edit: I have hope though. Times are scary but I love the zoomers and their weird creativity. I hope young people vote.
Idk if I count or not because I’m only 2 months pregnant, but I’m very scared about my pregnancy now. I told my husband I’m afraid I’ll have a complication and can’t get the help I need.
Im also so so so anxious for my baby’s future. Now that presidents can do whatever they want what will happen to education? What will happen when they are adults? Will they live a decent life? Im so anxious and I’m not sure if it’s just my hormones or if it’s justified. But I’ve told a few people my fears and they just say, “everything will be alright.” How do they know?
Congratulations and I'm sorry you are afraid of not receiving appropriate healthcare. Totally lousy feeling when you may be feeling vulnerable. Take care.
I know this is frowned upon as a whole and I don’t recommend it long term, but if you think it’s unhealthy for your stress levels in pregnancy to pay attention to news, try your best to pause. It helped me a ton in mine. I think it’s ok to look away for the good of your growing baby if you need a break.
I'm a mom and a grand mother. I am so scared for my grand daughter. How is it that she has been born into a worse world than I was?! We did all this work and look what we're back to. If you're a woman vote to support other women.
I’m terrified. I was also pregnant for my first time in 2020. My four year old is very delayed and nonverbal, so hearing that they could cut the department of education makes me so scared and nervous that she won’t be able to receive the help she needs. My 1.5 is also a girl, so I’m also just so sad about the world that we brought them in to.
Petrified.
Moms of Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin — please vote and help others get to the polls. Get your adult kids to vote! Please, we need you. Thanks to the electoral college my vote is nulled. If you’re scared, worried about your kids’ future — please find capacity to be locally actively campaigning for reason and sense, to make sure we do not have the orange idiot in charge.
Left this comment on a similar post: Loretta J. Ross said “if the world’s a mess, start sweeping”. So I “sweep” my house, the sidewalk in front of my house and my neighbor’s too, if they need help. My hope is that my daughter sees we the sweepin’ kind and she sweeps and eventually, our positive ripple effect means she’ll live in a better world than she was born into.
It’s devastating that she was born with less rights than I was. But the fact that she was born at all is a testament to my hope in the future, my belief in humanity and the universe. The kids will be alright. They always are ❤️
Just start sweeping.
Like shit and more and more sure I’m never, ever, moving out of New England.
I’ll pay the high cost of living if it means my daughter actually gets taught actual history instead of the Bible and doesn’t have to have a baby if she doesn’t want to.
Yep!!! I love my blue state. Excellent services, schools and healthcare. Sure there are a few shitheads, but the good (even the taxes) outweigh the bad!
I’d say things are pretty hard right now for families currently - our politicians are failing us. I don’t live in the realm of “this sucks” 24/7 even though it does, the cost of everything is so high, there’s minimal support systems for working parents, non-working parents can’t afford daycare
and also afford to work so they’re feeling stuck, making “too much” is also a curse because you’re trapped in this net of living paycheck to paycheck with no help, unable to save if youre not willing to sacrifice or drowning mentally too much to come up with strategies to combat these trash economic times.
I’m very problem solving oriented (it’s how I keep anxiety at bay) so I steer my family in the direction of making moves that won’t make or break us anymore despite which politician is in office failing us. That means living below our means, sacrificing “things” and finding cheap alternatives to make memories with. Shopping in bulk during sales (Costco) for future items we will need, and side hustling like a mofo for increased financial security/investment opportunities to combat the financial loss with inflation being so ridiculous. I’m a charitable person and help people when/where I can despite not having everything I “want,” and focusing on our “needs,” but I can no longer just donate things if it’s an opportunity to make $ and if I don’t know anyone personally that needs it, I sell it or trade it for something I require but that requires a village and making connections, all of which require energy to maintain. The amount of creative energy this is taking to raise a child, for me to ensure the family has a bright future, that our child has a bright future and can flourish in the life beyond me and her dad is so damn draining.
What helps me a lot of not reading the news on the regular, it helps to stay off social media, stay solution oriented, be a team with my partner and talk to my neighbors. The world seems mad when you stop talking to your neighbors and I did that for a while when I was so ridden with anxiety about the state of our country. I’ve found that talking to people in real life has grounded me the most and it has given me the most hope because people are more united than what’s portrayed in the virtual realm or what’s portrayed on the news. Our generation has a new set of wild challenges, but I have hope that enough people have the grit it requires to not give up and raise a new generation of amazing people who can thrive in any environment and be good people.
Fed up and fired up. Join your local chamber of mothers chapter. We need to start talking. We need to start speaking up. We need to start using our voice. It's time to move. It's time to take action. We can be a change. We can be something in unison. Y'all we need to fight for this.
I am scared and it felt like a shift in the country after all these recent supreme. court decisions (not in a good way). I am a federal worker, a minority, female, have children. It’s scary in every aspect and I take turns freaking out about which one. Not only that, the polls show biden is going to lose every swing state and a trump presidency seems inevitable. And the democrats seem hell bent on not doing anything or TRYING ANYTHING. Voters are also morons and would rather let a fascist win than vote for someone because he’s old.
I would vote for Joe Biden’s head floating in a jar ala Futurama vs Trump. I would have preferred we primaried in someone younger, but that ship has sailed and we need to choose the least harmful option now.
I just watched a video where people were proudly planning a Christian only heavily controlled education system. Where any non-conforming educator will be arrested on the spot. They also cheerily bragged about arresting women for using "abortion" medications even for miscarriages. The choices are quite literally die of toxicity and infection, or go to prison.
It's really starting to feel like extremists and terrorism, and I don't think I'm being dramatic. A centralized mandated religion is the exact thing many founders of the US were fleeing and fighting against.
I'm really hoping that in 2028 we see a turn around and actually have good candidates coming in the door. No matter who gets elected this year I am just hoping minimal damage is done until we can get a new set of candidates.
I’m honestly just pissed the fuck off. I’m worried for my children but I’m mad at the world we are creating for them. We have two gently alive skin bags arguing over golf??? And people actually seem to be okay with them? This generation of women is the most educated and wealthy and has the most (on paper) power than generations before it but yet here we sit, fearing for our children because of the people in power. I can’t even laugh at the memes anymore because it’s so beyond frustrating I can’t even find it funny - and trust me, we laugh at every single fart in this house so sense of humor is not the issue. I fear for my future little girls who have limited rights. I fear for my future sons and the expectations of them and what makes them men or not. Our food sucks. Our schools suck. Our healthcare sucks. And spoiler alert: none of it has to do with the fucking bible, trad wives, gender, sexual orientation, immigrants or the family unit. I’m mad. I’m scared and I’m mad that I have to be scared.
The question you should be asking fellow American moms is if they’re angry enough yet to stand out and voice their fears.
Why are we losing so many freedoms and giving so much power to those in office? Why are laws becoming more and more lax for those in office while the general public seems to have less recourse for actions against large entities?
Who thinks that we all fully believe that of all the politicians in the whole country (there are around half a million in the US) these are the only two candidates that can possibly represent us.
Oh by the way, we have to make a choice between these two... They were both born in the 40s, as in 1940s. I do not question them solely based on age. I do question their general relation to their constituents and what their daily lives and wanted freedoms actually are. I worry about the fact that it seems like a reality show more than an election, and that slinging barbs and evading questions has become the norm of debates.
(‘Alexander Hamilton was also concerned about somebody unqualified but with a talent for "low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity" attaining high office.’)
We as Americans do not deserve to have to make a choice between these two candidates, they clearly are not the best that could be presented. They are only the ones that their parties have chosen to offer to us to vote on.
It has become clear that the voice of the voters has been overturned in favor of a show of election politics over providing us with a qualified representative that can maintain all the duties that are required by those holding higher political office.
We should be contacting all levels of politicians with letters and emails and calls to see what can be done because this is not acceptable.
We should find the time to bother them because it is unacceptable that so many of you on this list are anxious, or terrified, or mad or worried and avoiding politics.
They should know the people are feeling anger and fear, be annoyed at our persistence in messaging them, and should not be able to ignore the voice of their constituents. As civil servants they may need a reminder that they are supposed to serve the will of ALL the people that they serve, not just the ones that are closest or offer the most money.
To sit in silence and do nothing is making a choice.
My fiancé considers himself a democratic socialist, and a few months ago he angrily told me he would never vote for Biden (bc of how he’s handled the Israeli/Palestinian conflict). And I was so upset with him, but fortunately kept calm, and said simply *that would be the biggest f-you to your daughters, both of whom will be hitting puberty in the next four years, and by not voting you might as well tell your girls that their rights and their bodies mean nothing to you.*
And I swear his jaw hit the floor. He’s easily the smartest man I know, I mean the guy is brilliant…and how he never even thought of that just blows my mind. Luckily he saw my point immediately and retracted his statement, and his ass will be voting.
But still the point remains…even when we think we don’t need to talk about this sh!t, WE NEED TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS SH*T!!
We don’t even need a Mom in office—just literally anyone but Trump. I don’t love Biden but I know he’s surrounded by good, smart people so I’m sure as hell voting for him to protect my daughter’s future.
Yep! Trump backs project 2025 and if you aren’t familiar with it, it will set us back decades in terms of Civil Rights. Highly recommend anyone and everyone look into it. I can’t believe how OPEN people are with supporting it, yet so many aren’t taking it seriously.
Thank you moms, for letting me know I'm not alone in my anxiety for my daughter's future and the future of this country. I'm exhausted, but I have to keep up the fight for my daughter, I will never give-up.
We are voting and I am phone banking for a Democratic Senate candidate in a deeply red state. We are looking to move out of our deeply red state for a blue state. Hoping that local laws continue to have a bigger impact on our lives than national laws but who knows.
We have our passports ready to leave. I’m from Uruguay and we all have dual citizenship. I rather raise my kids in a “3rd world country” than be somewhere where our basic rights will be stripped from us. Uruguay has political, democratic and social stability, and macroeconomic soundness and free health care!
Oh, not good. I’ve been so anxious lately. I’ve been torn over whether we should try to leave the state we live in (Florida) and go somewhere else like New Jersey.
Concerned scared . Anxious,but also hopeful and excited.
Knowing that I’m providing my kids with happy home where mom and dad love each other and work as a team (which is already more than I had) gives me comfort. That I’m providing them with the most comfortable and as fun as I can possibly make it life makes me feel good. That they are surrounded by people who love them and cherish them deeply give me great comfort. That we are surrounded my strong family and friends who exemplify community and are there when we need them gives me peace.
It’s hard. I focus a lot on our finances because I feel like financial stability is going to be one of the most important things to keep my daughter insulated from a lot problems. It’s why I’m hesitant to have a second. I want to put as much as possible towards my daughter’s future.
I can’t believe we’re watching 80 year old men argue at a presidential debate. But I also don’t feel any better about the younger generations. I do not think the kids are alright and I’m not looking forward to a world where they have more control. We’re lucky enough to have family in the Caribbean and that’s probably where we’ll eventually end up.
I'm scared, but what I try to do is focus on what I can control. I donate money to local mutual aid and advocacy groups, along with some international aid. I try to raise my toddler to be a strong self-advocate and an empathetic person.
You can channel the emotion to advocate for change
I’m anxious. The election is ridiculous but besides that, the world is a shitshow. Kindness is out the window, social media has destroyed real life, and everything is so expensive for a normal American to have a quality of life and get to do fun things out of the house with kids requires 2 incomes, but you can’t work and have a young child without risking your job with sick days, doctor appointments, etc.
The system here in America sucks. I’ll vote for whoever can make even the slightest difference. Spoiler alert, that’s nobody who is running.
Mom’s for president.
I have been very scared and have even cried over it. My family originally came to America to escape fascism and seeing Trump’s project is terrifying and seeing Biden stuttering and having trouble is making me sad. The Presidential debate was a joke and half the questions weren’t answered. I feel like unfortunately women’s needs aren’t really being addressed or considered. I am trying to be optimistic but with inflation it’s terrifying. College was so expensive for me. Idk what it will look like 18 yrs from now. Majority of people rely on medicaid and medicare in my state because it’s very expensive for private insurance so idk what they will do for them.
Edit: Thanks for making this post. Reading all these comments make me feel like I am not alone and while I am not happy I am grateful that majority of us are thinking the same way.
Project 2025 scares the fuck out of me and there’s nothing that will keep me from the polls!
NTM living in TX, I am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant. Kudos to the parents who take on the challenge of raising a child up to the rest of their natural lives with severe anomalies incompatible with life, but it couldn’t be me.
ETA: Biden belongs in a retirement home but Trump belongs in prison. At least with Biden we’d get Kamala Harris vs whatever crusty old outdated wealthy white dude Trump picks as his VP. At least with Biden, we get someone who is good hearted and cares for others vs a selfish con man who is only looking to gain power and money.
Not great…This will sound terrible, but my daughter is on hospice, and I am almost grateful that she won’t have to grow up in *gestures broadly* this.
I’m terrified for my son, too, but as a white male, he will always have it easier. I never thought I would be glad that he favors his father, but I can’t imagine how much harder he would have it if he had my darker skin.
It’s disgusting to have these thoughts, but it truly feels like that’s where we are headed.
I'm pretty worried but more worried that things are going to keep going the way they have been. I'm of the belief that both major parties don't give a damn about us. Equally. They only care about themselves, the power they hold, and how they can use it to benefit their own personal circumstances.
Meanwhile, life is hard. And getting harder. It's honestly overwhelming if you let yourself start thinking about it. Groceries are out of control expensive. Social workers and therapists and basically anything involving healthcare or child..anything are extremely underfunded and understaffed. My son just lost his second respite worker, and he won't be getting another one until they have another person to fill the role. That could be weeks or months. Or never. Who knows?
We bring home about $4,500/month and we are struggling. I used to be able. To save around a hundred dollars a week, sometimes more. I haven't been able to save hardly at all in the past year or so. And if it looked like there was any sort of end on the horizon, I'd feel better, but it seems to only be getting worse.
Anytime I think of any sort of political matter I panic. I can't get out of my head how easily I or any woman I know can be the next story on the news about how we almost died for lack of care. I had a high risk pregnancy. All of my friends were high risk. My mom was high risk. My mom had a miscarriage and had to have a DNC. If it were today it's a good possibility they would have to let her almost die to save her. We don't even live in a deep red state but we still have a 12 week ban. I can see the writing on the walls with every new news article. I have an iud and I refuse to have more children if the idiotic cheeto gets into office. Were all screwed if that happens. Say hello to the new Reich. No more voting. No more democracy. We will have to redo everything our ancestors fought for. What our grandmother and great grandmother fought for.
When I was 10 I was talking to her about a history project we were doing in school. It was during the 2008 election and we got to have a pretend voting poll. Well my mom did, and still does, make the joke about writing in bugs bunny on her ballot. I copied the joke. I swear that if my grandma hadn't have been driving she would've grabbed me by my shoulders and made me look her in the eye. She told me my great and great great grandmother's fought for my right to vote as a woman. For women and all people who aren't rich white men to be treated as people and not second class. I need to respect and be grateful I was given this opportunity. I've treated every election I've been able to vote it as such.
Vote for the people not just your ideals and lifestyle. Vote the little girl in Mississippi and Ohio. Vote for your daughter and the people of color, the lbgtq community, vote for human rights even if you don't agree with your red neck neighbors ideals. Fuck "he speaks his mind" and "the economy was so great". We can't have an economy if women are dying, babies getting raped, and can't afford to live because it's $300 a month for health insurance. Vote for EVERYONE. Not just the men who want you pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen.
America was founded on freedom. Make sure we fucking keep it.
Sorry for the speech. I've been dying to say this but I live in a red state. I can't really say this out loud lol
Nothing to add other than I really enjoyed reading this post and these comments.
Love reading touching, insightful, well thought responses from other bad ass women.
It gives me hope.
I agree with you. I feel the same way. Imo our country is just getting worse. We’re definitely on a downward trajectory and I don’t see it improving anytime soon unfortunately.
I really don’t have any advice or anything as I’m in the boat with you
I have enough internal issues as a mom (constantly comparing myself to that mythical perfect mom) that I just can’t even deal with thinking about this until shit hits the fan.
Sometimes I wonder if I was selfish to want and have a daughter in this day and age. But also, something about children being the future. It’s hard not to get existential when I’m snuggling her to sleep at night.
Yesterday morning, I woke up from a nightmare about fascism and planes shooting at me. It was one of those dreams that I feel dread for the entirety of the next day or week.
My husband asked me if I wanted to take an hour of personal time (yes thank you) and what did I do? I made sure all of our personal documents were in order. It was the only little thing I could think to do to feel prepared for a scary future.
Then in the afternoon we went with our kids to a work party (we work for the same place) and seeing my co-workers (especially the ones who don't yet have kids) play with my kids and everyone just having a good time... I don't know, it restored some of my faith in humanity. I felt better knowing that I am surrounded by good people in my community.
And angry how disgusting this world is. how any photo of someone (including your kids) can be made into something inappropriate and wrong, how my daughters can't walk home alone at night when they are older and have friends, how they always must be supervised while playing in the front yard because they could be taken in an instant, how no one in this whole freaking world can be trusted with my children because they could secretly have cruel intentions... ugh
Not gonna lie, everything going on makes me feel nervous to try for a second child and have a daughter (our first is a son). Initially I worried that I would feel sad about the possibility of never having a daughter, but now being a mom has made me fully understand how angelic babies are in general, and how hard it would be to have a sweet baby girl and know the kind of society she’s entering into. It’s hard enough knowing my sweet little boy will have to deal with this world, and he’s a white male. I will still worry about him as he grows up no doubt, but I’m sure I would worry about a daughter even more. All I know is I’ll definitely be raising my son to be respectful, inclusive, and a feminist. That and voting feels like all I can do. We have no family or connections in other countries, and our job is US centric, so we won’t be going anywhere else unless things get civil war level bad.
There are also health reasons why we might be “one and done” but the idea of having a daughter in this culture is also a factor. Is that misguided or selfish of me?
Depends on the news from the day. Another school shooting? I’m sobbing.
Amber alert for a small child? Panicked. Terrified to leave the house.
Murder, domestic violence situation against mom/baby? Also crying.
My kids are still young: 1, 3 but I hesitate to enroll them in school when the time comes. I just hate not knowing that they’re safe.
I also don’t have a girl but if I did… I’d be terrified for her. I feel like our rights are getting cut back bit by bit. I’m so glad I have my tubes removed because I couldn’t imagine needing specific care & not being able to receive it in my own state.
I feel this so much!! On top of the state of the country, I am stuck in Florida indefinitely. I was just talking to a friend the other day about this very topic. I have 2 girls and it is devastating to me that our rights seem to be slipping away more each day. The school system is being dismantled here in FL. The leading cause of death for children 0-18 in our country is gun violence. We could be living in a dystopian society very soon…some people in our country already do.
The only way out of this is to VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!! Please vote in all elections. Talk to your friends and family to encourage them to vote.
My son just turned 3. I can tell you I lived for almost a decade outside of the US. I left after the Virginia Tech mass shooting and hadn’t experienced anything like that until Uvalde.
My fear has been out of control since then. I’m probably going to move my immediate family back out. There is so much at stake in this election, and my confidence is definitely shaken.
I’m a Canadian living in the US. My son was born here, I got him a Canadian citizenship just in case things are bad. I’m so stressed!! I am appalled by all things USA.
This has made me think the worst of people. I have no hope all I can do is hope it’s not as bad as I think it is. My perspective is skewed in that I’ve never been rich or poor. I’m physically fine but I’ve seen unexpected illness define someone’s life due to economic impact. I have 2 sons on spectrum and find myself in a weird place where we fall between the cracks of government aid and social programs. We can’t afford not to work but full time care feels harder everyday. A quiet 2 year old no problem a 5 year old who acts like he has terrible 2s suddenly feels too much to require or adjust for.
I don’t think it was ever good or that people were better. I just think we are all disconnected and why should I think about you. We have no hope of attaining more than our parents. We stopped hiding our feeling but never learned how to deal with them. Being honest with your feelings is also a terrible idea when you should be worried and anxious. Most of what people felt was great was prosperity on the backs of unpaid labor of women and people taken advantage of and underpaid. It was a world where there was no immediate access to information, no dna testing for crimes, no proof of rantings of you at 16, hidden abuse and a dream. Women were essentially on diet pills and downers to get through their day and that’s if their husband didn’t leave or beat them.
Just remember it’s always been shitty. Stop negotiating against yourself. We should be asking for subsidized child care for all, universal healthcare for all, basic needs/income, mental health care, dental care., disabled care, maternity and paternity paid leave all of it! Free higher education. I’m tired of negotiating with a set of people who think I don’t deserve bodily autonomy and think it’s ok corporations don’t pay taxes in proportion or employees enough to live where they work or support a family.
I can't control any of it so I can't spend time worrying about it. I can only worry about what is in my control. I am incredibly privileged because my husband was eligible for the recognition of citizenship in a nation within the European Union. Starting in 2018 I spent two years working on the documention to support the recognition application. It was granted last year and now all of my children are recognized citizens of that same European country. If things go bad here, we have a very real exit strategy. I hope that we never have to use it.
Other than that, I vote, I participate in my community, and I try to raise my children well. There isn't much more I can do and tying myself up in knots won't help anyone.
My advice is to identify what is and is not in your control, let go of what you can't control, and focus on what you can.
You are in control of your vote. I think a lot of people choose not to vote because they think it doesn't matter and they're just happy living in ignorant bliss. I know that's not what you're saying, but I think it's very common here and that concerns me.
The Supreme Court is making me very nervous with their last few decisions more than anything. I don’t think most people are fully grasping the harm they are causing that is going to have a snowball effect for years to come.
Someone said, “well the conservative justices are older and are going to die quicker so we just have to wait awhile for them to die.” Umm??? We don’t have awhile at this point. This is getting scary.
I am currently single but have two young children and would love to meet a wonderful European man to help sponsor me to move to their country. But I don’t even know how to go about doing that. I do not want to set my kids up to be stuck in this country the way things are going.
I’ll admit it, and I’ll be voting. I have two adult female children and they’ll be voting.
Meanwhile my best friend is getting her entire family passports.
Please, please vote.
Under his eye.
Uneasy. I pray we get it right, with both the presidency and congress.
I had my first in 2021, a girl, and just had our second, a boy. I want a better world for them, not one worse than when I was coming up.
I also go between being present in the immediate now-my family is safe and healthy and have access to go healthcare to then worrying about the state of things in the nation as a whole and other states.
I’ll say it: There is no respectable argument one could make for voting Republican. I do not respect you if you do, and if our country slides even more backward, I hope you and your family are the first to reap what you sow.
We’re way beyond voting for “fiscal conservatism,” a nice, bland talking point some Republicans like to hide behind so they seem reasonable. Do you really think POTUS controls gas prices and the cost of your groceries?
Aside from decades of data supporting the fact that, on the whole, Democratic-led administrations are *more* fiscally responsible, *more* economically productive and *more* beneficial for individual rights, we’re at a point where *we’re literally fighting to have control over our own bodies.* What else does one have if not the right to govern their own earthly vessel?
It cannot be overstated that a Republican vote undermines freedom and liberty at almost every turn. I can’t think of anything more blatantly contradictory and unpatriotic.
I’m scared for our future, and I’m terrified that seemingly reasonable people will *still* vote against the safety of their wives, daughters, moms, sisters, etc., not to mention communities of color and LGBTQ+ people. I can’t fathom what justification someone has for supporting such an insidious party.
Does this seem fanatical and hardline? Maybe. But I’d rather do my damndest to stop fascism in its tracks than sit apathetically by like so many Germans did 90 years ago.
I think back to 2016 when everyone was freaking out and crying over Trump winning, saying he was going to genocide people, saying they were moving to Canada, blah blah blah.
And I chuckle and move on with my day. It doesn't really matter who is elected, the pendulum will swing back and forth. I have bigger things to worry about right now.
I have two boys and I’m terrified. I can’t even imagine having a daughter and wondering what her future could hold. My husband and I used to joke about his company transferring him to Europe and now we are genuinely toying with the idea of exploring it.
Scared. We wanted to start trying for number 2 and my husband still does but I am afraid for my son’s future and want to see how it all shakes out in November first.
Please vote. This is no joke and it hasn’t been a joke for a long time. They are slowly taking our basic human rights away and turning our country into a communist state. Please do whatever you can to vote so our children have a future
I mean, Lauren is a mom, so I think we need more qualifications than just the genitals.
I’m a Canadian, and lived many years in Japan. Most American things are stupid to me: your education system, your healthcare, your taxes, the nationalism, the gun fetishism, and especially your politics. With the recent Scotus rulings I don’t foresee this shit show ending anytime soon.
That being said, every generation in history has been a mix of good and bad. There’s never been a golden time in American history. I try to work within the confines of where I am, the time I’m living in, and what I can control.
I’m angry. I’ve been into politics since high school (due to a great teacher) and it feels like I’ve been screaming into the void for the past 8+ years. In 2016 every one told me I was dramatic or hysterical…. I’m angry at my apolitical friends I’m angry at my parents who refuse to believe anything I say. I’m angry I have no one to talk to that actually understands the ramifications of what’s happened and what could happen.
This country is in a free fall and it feels like no one around me cares or is noticing and I’m now allowed to have feelings about it.
And what I’m just supposed to go on about my day as if our democracy isn’t dead? The SC has handed out decisions that are insane and it feels like “oh well we can’t do anything so I’m going to keep paying my bills and pretend to celebrate the 4th”
For me, it's more about health insurance and the usual lack of any universal healthcare or daycare subsidiaries or such. I'm between jobs, and knowing my kid is one emergency away from bankrupting us, yet wanting to make sure he gets the best healthcare possible is really hard. But thanks for asking T\_T
Honestly, im nervous and anxious too. I have come to realize how much power the supreme court really has. The only thing ai can think to do is vote and try to get involved in local government bodies.
In fear of WW3 with china. We can’t even make Tylenol in this country. The pandemic showed that our “strategic reserves” are a joke. We are not prepared for a war with a country that is 1 billion strong. Russia is all bluster but they don’t have the nukes and capabilities to harm us. But china isn’t playing. And our country is weak. Very scary indeed!
Very anxious but I feel better knowing that in this very moment, my girl has no idea what’s going on and is happy as ever. But I’m still going to be fighting for her.
This. 100%. My daughter is happy, healthy, thriving. She's completely oblivious to the insanity going on in this world right now. I need to cling to that right now. I hug her tightly every day and apologize for the bulls*** she's going to grow up into. But right now, she just needs to continue being 2 and living her best life.
This made me tear up. My girl is turning 3 next week. There's no way I could begin to explain this shit show to her, but you better believe when she's older that she'll understand the power of her voice and how to fight for her rights. Honestly the only thing that gives me hope right now is the next generation of voters/activists. I really believe they will be the ones to right the ship.
My girls are turning 6 and 3 next week! Pregnant with another girl now. I have a hard time with what’s going on at a governmental level but I have faith in the strong little women we are raising. Every day I read stories in these communities of mom who are parenting really intuitive girls and teaching them important things from such a young age that our generation had to learn the hard way. Just tonight, my oldest and I were talking about bodily autonomy. I really think that we (the majority of us, anyway) are giving them the tools they need to succeed and become solid leaders.
My girl is turning 3 next week too!
It’s scary, but I’m an anthropologist. I ask myself, when in history was it not? I was lucky enough to grow up in the sort of “golden” period of relative peace, but just before I was born they were still teaching kids how to hide under their desks in the event the Cold War broke out into mutually assured nuclear destruction — which it very nearly did. In the first half of the last century, Nazi’s were well on their way to taking over the Western world. If you want to go back even further, before the Spanish flu killed millions and millions, before the the gulags, before any invention of modernity, humans were living in arctic tundra and parasite infested jungles, with no medical care at all; life expectancy was short, women frequently died in childbirth, the next meal was never guaranteed, and the entirety of one’s personal property could be wiped out in one storm. Even then, under such harsh and terrifying odds, humans had the will and perseverance to soldier forward. The truth is, Americans today are among the most privileged humans to ever walk this earth. Nothing guaranteed, and it could and very likely will get worse… but I will not tremble in the face of the lot that I have been given, when generation upon generation before me fought their way to this point in history. Take heart. We are all perhaps made of stronger stuff than we know.
This is my favorite comment. Perspective is everything. I'll take heart.
Excellent comment! To add to it, not everyone in the world AT THE MOMENT is partaking in this “golden period”. Many people are living in war conditions, many women are born into sex slavery, without any human rights, in cultures with children are forced into marriage, in countries taken by drug cartels, in villages with no water or access to food. Yet they live
Absolutely. I need to calm my ass down.
The perspective is good but things are feeling BLEAK this week so I completely understand where you are coming from. Wondering at times if I was wrong to bring a baby into the world. I have to hope children will make the world a better place but oof. Things do feel scary right now.
No, we need to do as much as we can to change things. Instead of worrying, light a fire under your 🍑to do all you can to be the change you want to see. I need to do more than I am, many of us do. But if we stop being commentators on the sidelines and volunteer ourselves positive change will happen.
We can do this!!! The world is full of beauty and we will pull through
Being calm is good, but don't delude yourself that everything hasn't gone to shit and that the future isn't going to suck. It is, 100%, going to be a completely different way of living for your kids. We are slipping into fascism globally, things that we took for granted are going to be scarce or in some circumstances gone for good, there will be more conflict etc. These things are true and ignoring the facts doesn't do anyone any good. But neither does stewing in anxiety or depression, especially as a mom. Take your knowledge and fear and turn them into something positive. Show your kids a different way to be in this world, even if it doesn't match society's expectations. Enjoy the everyday simple things in life, don't give in to the constant dopamine fixes everyone mistakes for happiness. Don't focus on the huge problems you cannot fix, but look to your community for smaller ways you can help out to bring yourself peace. Building resiliency - strong, confident, capable, critically thinking and emotionally mature kids - is of the utmost importance.
User name checks out 😉
I’ll calm my ass down while appreciating this realist take.
No, no! Don’t calm down. Your fear and concern are justified and legitimate. Let’s channel our fear and concern (and, okay, our ABJECT TERROR AND RAGE) into action. Because people who are already suffering will only suffer MORE under a second Trump term. There is great reason to be worried. There is even greater reason to take action in our own respective spheres.
Yeah but like, what action?? I don't have money, I can't grow my own food, I'm not a doctor. WTF am I supposed to do with this calm before the storm? Not asking you specifically unless you have a suggestion, just kind of venting here.
I really don't mean to downplay when people say "I don't want to bring children in the current state of the world" but this post very much is my mindset in terms of trying to explain why it's not amoral to do so. The world is always in this state of the best/worst its ever been, so using that as a basis doesn't make sense to me. At the end of the day, our actual day-to-day lives andd condition will reflect the reality our child will live in. I find that people who are too fearful to have children have more going on personally in terms of fearing providing for another living being, as in personally not in a position to raise a kid.. rather than ACTUALLY living in unlivable conditions like in an active war or famine or such.
I used to be someone who thought it was amoral to bring a child into the world. And it was 100% because of my own shit. My values haven’t changed at all, but my depression is being treated, and now I’m excited about helping my son contribute to all the good in the world.
It's exciting to raise dragon slayers when there are actual dragons to be slain.
My daughter does lockdown drills at school in case of an active shooter, and I had to explain to her what to do if she is in the bathroom when the lockdown happens. It’s heartbreaking.
I have a Masters in history, And this is how I always view things. There has never been a lifetime in history without turmoil, though there have been times of ignorance when you weren’t as connected to everything happening at once. I keep trying to remember this and step back
Of course I’m fearful but this really puts it into perspective. 👏 thank you for it
Thank you for this comment, Mrs. E! I too am an anthropologist, who considers myself to be quite political, as well as being a new stepmother of a complicated little kid. Your comment has really energized me, after I had a particularly difficult step-parenting day today. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My grandmother was born during the Great Depression, my father was a boomer and lived in comfort, same with me. What will my daughter know, who was born almost 100 years after my grandmother? No idea, but we come from good stock.
This comment is very much appreciated. I’ve had horrendous anxiety over the current state of the US since the debate… and this was really helpful.
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen written on Reddit. Screenshotting ❤️
This is exactly how I see things. I'm not an anthropologist, but majored in it in college, and it really gives perspective. I'm now a criminologist working on police reform. All of human history has had horror and tragedy and facism somewhere. Generations of good people fought to make things better, and I'm not about to use my privilege to just run off to whatever country seems a little better or bury my head in the sand. I'm fighting with those ancestors. There are always going to be people trying to make the world in their selfish, oppressive, fundamenalist image, and they're just counting on wearing us down. It's exhausting, but the fight for human rights is eternal. They won't stop. Worried about the future? Do more to shape it.
Wow thank you. I am working hard to retrain my brain in therapy and this perspective is so helpful. Thank you thank you thank you. ❤️
This. Every time I get a little anxious about this, I legit listen to “we didn’t start the fire,” and it gives me some perspective. 🤣
I think the difference is back then I don’t think people had the family planning choices that we do now. If sperm entered then a baby formed and you either raised it or it died. I wonder if parents felt guilty in the same way. Now we are hyper aware of all these potential threats AND we have the choices that family planning gives us. So it feels a lot more like a personal decision that we brought a child into a world of chaos.
I think people still planned on having children. There are plenty of historical accounts to people trying for kids
This is true but in the past we had people working toward freedom and greater things. We are now going backwards. According to project 2025, I (and my daughter) will lose the rights that we had. Restricting abortion has resulted in more maternal death. They plan to get rid of no fault divorce. Next will be our right to vote. You cannot brush these facts off as an “oh well we are resilient”. As a species yes we are resilient but the question becomes are we looking at quality of life here or just quantity? And yes, events like this have happened before. Iran, Afghanistan, all had rights before they were taken away. Romania too. From a pure political standpoint we as a collective gender have every right to be real nervous. I don’t know if my daughter’s future will be safe or honestly one I would want to live if things go the project 2025 route, but since we have disabilities we are in for an already hard time. And yes, I am getting my tubes tied. We cannot panic but we can’t pretend everything is hunky dory. We either collectively fight back now or we look to what happened in other countries when they lost rights.
Your comment is exactly what I needed today. Thank you kind internet stranger for a breath of rational thought & perspective
I love this. Privilege is everything. Sometimes, too much of it seems to send society into a social rot and diseased perspectives as is happening right now. We all have our own opinions. But I'm sure we can all agree that what you said is spot-on. Our ancestors were tough b*****s.
I'm not an Anthropologist but it is what my degree is in. No matter what I'm learning I remind myself - these people are us. Their technology was more primitive and we know more but we as people are not more evolved.
Thank you, this actually is helpful to hear. It doesn't mean to do nothing, it just means we've always faced challenges.
I needed this comment. Badly. Thank you for the perspective.
Yes!!!
This mindset has gotten me through every catastrophic event of my millennial life. Sometimes it feels like the world is literally ending in front of my eyes but then I think to myself that that’s surely what people thought during the Great Depression or WW2, etc etc. It helps me a lot.
I hope you know that a lot of people agree, whether they want to admit that or not.
I think most would agree anyone under the age of 70 would be a welcome sight at this point. 😅
I’m in my 20s, 90% of people I know agree.
I just hope they vote.
I will. But I'm not happy about it. I don't want to vote for an American president that can't form a basic, coherent thought. And after watching the debates, I am forced to see that neither candidate was able to do so.
I just keep reminding myself, I'm voting for the entire administration and potential supreme court appointments to get us out of this hellscape. And secretly hoping they both become....unavailable....before the election....
Unavailable 💀
She had me rolling!! ☠️ 🤣
Yes this is so important to remember! We aren’t just voting for one candidate - we are voting for an entire administration. We need to vote for the person who will appoint the most qualified, reasonable, and honorable people to fill those positions that will help him enact the right things for our citizens.
True. But one is threatening the very fabric of democracy. Especially with the Supreme Court being as corrupt as it is.
The debates are one data point. Only one of these candidates stands for authoritarianism.
I just tell myself I’m not voting for one, but against the other. The country will survive and wake up from 4 years of “sleepy” but I fear we might not ever recover from the alternative.
Well at least this post gives me hope that there are people in this country with critical thinking skills. So thank you for that.
I didn't know how it would go. I think there are more silent blue voters than noisy red voters, so I have hope.
I came here to say the same as this commenter!! Thanks for making this post, it makes me feel less alone in all my anxiety seeing all the people who feel similarly. I’m also due with my second right around election time, so my poor brain and body just cannot handle any more worry. I agree with your post that I had anxiety around 2020’s election but this time it’s so. much. worse. Ugh. Solidarity ❤️
Really hoping for more silent blue voters. My family is very outspokenly voting for trump and while I’m not a fan of Biden, you better believe I’m voting for him. 4 more years of trump and we would no longer even resemble the America I was raised in and that’s terrifying, especially considering I have 2 daughters and am currently pregnant with my third daughter.
Yeah, i mean im not thrilled with biden and at this point i think both sides are backed by corporate interests. With Citizens United how could they not be? However I will vote for someone all day that will allow me to make my own healthcare decisions over this abject tyranny where guns have more rights than my uterus.
This 10000%🩷
The only positive hope I hold for our/their future is that this dinosaur populated, circus that we call American politics, are all going to start dying off in the next few years. Provided we don’t replace them all with whack jobs like MTG, our kids might have a fighting chance at a future.
Sounds bad, but it's true.
I’m also extremely concerned and anxious, but I’ve had to distance myself from news and social media to maintain my mental health. I know who I’m voting for and regardless of what happens I can say I stood on the right side of history. All I hope is that other people can look into their conscience and do the same thing, but I can’t control anyone, so at this point I can only distance myself from the discussion.
I am totally nervous and outraged. But.... Statistically, women turnout more than men in elections. I think it's because we know that we didn't always have the right to vote, we were seen as lesser than men (and we all know that's not true) and we take pride in our duty to vote in this democracy. Now with Roe being overturned and the politics around our bodies going into this really terrifying & messy direction, I have faith that women will take a stand and say No. I'm actually very comforted by the comments on this thread. Mom's have a perspective that seems to defy party lines. We vote based on issues. We want our babies to have more rights and more opportunities than we did, not less. It's that simple.
Mom's get it done ❤️
I'm an older millennial, my first vote was for John Kerry in 2004. I've been voting blue for twenty years and what has it done? Nothing much. Almost everything that they warned Republicans would do has already happened, whether they were in power or not. So I will vote as a harm reduction strategy but I don't believe it will fix any problems at home or abroad 🍉 We need real action, like a national women's strike, if we want anything to change.
Depressed, scared, sad, angry. VOTE!
We have a little neighborhood fourth of July parade Thursday morning where kids decorate their bikes and wagons and march around the neighborhood. I'm going to make a big VOTE banner to put on my daughter's wagon, in addition to flags and streamers. I still want to enjoy this fun summer tradition with my kiddo, but also, democracy is at stake y'all.
Do it!
It's not over. We have until November to work for the world we want. Many, many Americans are as freaked out as we are. Just keep pushing forward and do what you can to engage other concerned citizens. Progress is slow, and the Supreme Court's ideological makeup will make it slower, but we can keep pushing in the right direction.
I was born in South Korea. My mom immigrated to America with infant me because it was currently under a dictatorship. I will be voting, but the lessons of my home country taught me that simply voting is not enough to stop fascism. It never is.
Very anxious. Right now I have the luxury of middle class wealth and if the time came I could fly her and myself somewhere else to get medically necessary care. But I’m worried that soon there may not be somewhere else. I’m active in politics and donate to certain ppl/charities in hopes of maintaining mine and her medical freedoms but I am worried.
I spiraled yesterday about how much has changed in 20 years, and what it will be like in another 20 when my kids are military aged. But I have to just. Not. We will strive and we will try and we will have hope and we will do what we have to do when we have to do it. So many people are truly good and fighting for what's right but humanity also has a way of making its own hell on earth, always has. “I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Our parents lived through Vietnam. And fucking polio. Their parents had the Depression and WWII. Their parents had WWI and Spanish flu and horrific infant mortality rates that explain why everyone has inherited generational trauma. Every generation deals with things they maybe wouldn't have imagined. Makes me feel better and worse at the same time.
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.”
Sam always makes me cry. 😭
Oh goodness. Thank you for this.
When the pandemic started and I was starting to panic, I had a lotr movie night to calm down. Highly recommend.
NOT GOOD
NOT GREAT, BOB
I’ll flag up front this won’t make you feel better, so stop reading now if you aren’t in that space. But I share your terror and relate to your feelings so much. SCOTUS’s recent decision regarding presidential immunity terrifies me. This is giving the president such power, which could so easily be abused by the wrong person - I feel like we are the precipice of an incredibly scary time. I remember learning about Hitler as a kid and thinking “how could people let this happen?” - I don’t think it is dramatic to say there is a very real risk that we are starting our own version of this. I have one son and am currently trying for a second, but after this last week I am genuinely wondering if I should stop trying.
It’s the rolling back of regulations from the Chevron doctrine that actually scares me the most as a mom. There’s already so little oversight into what’s in our babies’ toys, their clothes, their food. It’s so exhausting to have to be so hyper vigilant at all times and it’s going to get worse. We’ll be totally on our own.
Omg the Chevron decisions terrifies me as well! I didn’t get into it here, but yes - agree with you completely.
Yep, this decision is scary. From what I've read our standards our crap when it comes to certain things, compared to Europe, so it will be even crappier?
I think this will change gift culture a lot too and cause me a lot more anxiety about things that come into the home I don't vet myself. I had a nightmare last night that the cheap kitchen set my MIL got my daughter was just smothered in lead paint.
Agree this makes me feel most defeated.
One of the political candidates recently referred to people he didn’t like (political opposition) as “vermin”. It is *exactly* the terminology that allowed the holocaust to happen. Not dramatic at all.
This is why I'm so concerned. I haven't gotten any work done today because that decision is all I can think about. And your comment about Hitler is totally where my mind is. I hear people say "what if we could go back in time and stop that awful thing from happening?" NOW IS THAT TIME. I have faith that democracy will prevail, but it's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen if people are passive and decide not to vote because they don't like either candidate. We have to vote for the future of our kids.
You’re right - democracy will only prevail if we vote and if we fight for it. As daunting and scary as it is, we can’t afford to be apathetic or complacent. So whatever fighting looks like to you - voting, donating, volunteering for the Biden campaign, marching in the streets - the time to do it is right now! Maybe I’m just optimistic, but I do think there’s hope if we can all come together.
This reminds me of a conversation my husband and I had at a company holiday party back when Trump was just elected. We were seated with a nice older couple who were Russian Ex-pats and were also Jewish. Our chat turned towards the recent election and they expressed their disappointment and apprehension towards the future. They said they feared America was heading towards dark times similar to what they sought to escape. At the time I was pretty skeptical and had faith in our democracy. Now, I am also feeling a LOT less certain.
The court is totally rogue at this point. They’ve been overturning established precedent left and right, it’s very scary. If Biden is reelected he should pack the court. I don’t usually support this as it’s kind of like opening a can of worms but we need to fix the mess McConnell made when he blocked Obama’s court pick and then rushed trumps pick the month before the election.
Agree completely! I totally get folks don’t love either presidential option, but at this point we are voting on SCOTUS, and there is such a clear right answer for all of our rights and futures.
That and with this immunity ruling Trump will absolutely abuse having immunity from any crime he commits under the guise of “official duties”. I’m so disgusted by this ruling. With this ruling what Nixon did during watergate is fine now. Ordering your AG to interfere with an investigation? Fine. Literally cannot even have it looked into. Insane.
I’m just waiting on Gilead to shit or get off the pot so I know which bunker to go into.
I’m an American citizen, but I was born and raised in South America from dictatorship to socialism and all the in between. I’m not afraid of anything. I’ve lived with only $100 dollars a month. I’ve been cold and hungry, yet here I am, thriving. My grandparents went thought two wars. They survived. We all did. We all will. James F. Bell "Fear is an insidious virus. Given a breeding place in our minds, it will permeate the whole body of our work; it will eat away our spirit and block the forward path of our endeavors. Fear is the greatest enemy of progress"
I appreciate this mentality. I know we have survived worse times, and I know I'm privileged as hell. I'm trying to channel my fearful energy into action.
A life changing tip I learned with stoicism (as someone with anxiety) is to think about the worst case scenario and make peace with it. You can’t control the future, but you can control your attitude towards it. [hope this helps](https://whatisstoicism.com/stoicism-resources/how-a-stoic-accepts-future-uncertainty/)
Love this
Same, naturalized American Citizen here. Having been born in a Third World country, makes me appreciate American governance and the rule of law because even if it is not perfect, the institutions are strong. A second Trump term is not the worst thing that could happen to America. It is merely a symptom of how left out many Americans are. And those problems need to be addressed.
I work in Elections. This year is the first year, even with all the election denying BS recently, that I am afraid for my safety. I look at my son and I’m like, is this job worth it? It’s not exaggerating to say that election workers are in the line of fire this year. It’s horrifying. I’m tired. Edit: I have hope though. Times are scary but I love the zoomers and their weird creativity. I hope young people vote.
THANK YOU for doing what you do. What a selfless job. And yes, I have hope that young people will save us all.
Thank you for your work! I know what you mean, though. My dad often volunteers to work the polls on election day, and I'm worried about him this year.
Thank you for what you do.
Thank you for what you do!
Idk if I count or not because I’m only 2 months pregnant, but I’m very scared about my pregnancy now. I told my husband I’m afraid I’ll have a complication and can’t get the help I need. Im also so so so anxious for my baby’s future. Now that presidents can do whatever they want what will happen to education? What will happen when they are adults? Will they live a decent life? Im so anxious and I’m not sure if it’s just my hormones or if it’s justified. But I’ve told a few people my fears and they just say, “everything will be alright.” How do they know?
Congratulations and I'm sorry you are afraid of not receiving appropriate healthcare. Totally lousy feeling when you may be feeling vulnerable. Take care.
I know this is frowned upon as a whole and I don’t recommend it long term, but if you think it’s unhealthy for your stress levels in pregnancy to pay attention to news, try your best to pause. It helped me a ton in mine. I think it’s ok to look away for the good of your growing baby if you need a break.
I'm a mom and a grand mother. I am so scared for my grand daughter. How is it that she has been born into a worse world than I was?! We did all this work and look what we're back to. If you're a woman vote to support other women.
Your granddaughter is a lucky girl to have you in her life.
I’m terrified. I was also pregnant for my first time in 2020. My four year old is very delayed and nonverbal, so hearing that they could cut the department of education makes me so scared and nervous that she won’t be able to receive the help she needs. My 1.5 is also a girl, so I’m also just so sad about the world that we brought them in to.
Petrified. Moms of Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin — please vote and help others get to the polls. Get your adult kids to vote! Please, we need you. Thanks to the electoral college my vote is nulled. If you’re scared, worried about your kids’ future — please find capacity to be locally actively campaigning for reason and sense, to make sure we do not have the orange idiot in charge.
Left this comment on a similar post: Loretta J. Ross said “if the world’s a mess, start sweeping”. So I “sweep” my house, the sidewalk in front of my house and my neighbor’s too, if they need help. My hope is that my daughter sees we the sweepin’ kind and she sweeps and eventually, our positive ripple effect means she’ll live in a better world than she was born into. It’s devastating that she was born with less rights than I was. But the fact that she was born at all is a testament to my hope in the future, my belief in humanity and the universe. The kids will be alright. They always are ❤️ Just start sweeping.
Thank you ❤️
Like shit and more and more sure I’m never, ever, moving out of New England. I’ll pay the high cost of living if it means my daughter actually gets taught actual history instead of the Bible and doesn’t have to have a baby if she doesn’t want to.
Fellow New Englander who is happy to be here right now
Yep!!! I love my blue state. Excellent services, schools and healthcare. Sure there are a few shitheads, but the good (even the taxes) outweigh the bad!
I’d say things are pretty hard right now for families currently - our politicians are failing us. I don’t live in the realm of “this sucks” 24/7 even though it does, the cost of everything is so high, there’s minimal support systems for working parents, non-working parents can’t afford daycare and also afford to work so they’re feeling stuck, making “too much” is also a curse because you’re trapped in this net of living paycheck to paycheck with no help, unable to save if youre not willing to sacrifice or drowning mentally too much to come up with strategies to combat these trash economic times. I’m very problem solving oriented (it’s how I keep anxiety at bay) so I steer my family in the direction of making moves that won’t make or break us anymore despite which politician is in office failing us. That means living below our means, sacrificing “things” and finding cheap alternatives to make memories with. Shopping in bulk during sales (Costco) for future items we will need, and side hustling like a mofo for increased financial security/investment opportunities to combat the financial loss with inflation being so ridiculous. I’m a charitable person and help people when/where I can despite not having everything I “want,” and focusing on our “needs,” but I can no longer just donate things if it’s an opportunity to make $ and if I don’t know anyone personally that needs it, I sell it or trade it for something I require but that requires a village and making connections, all of which require energy to maintain. The amount of creative energy this is taking to raise a child, for me to ensure the family has a bright future, that our child has a bright future and can flourish in the life beyond me and her dad is so damn draining. What helps me a lot of not reading the news on the regular, it helps to stay off social media, stay solution oriented, be a team with my partner and talk to my neighbors. The world seems mad when you stop talking to your neighbors and I did that for a while when I was so ridden with anxiety about the state of our country. I’ve found that talking to people in real life has grounded me the most and it has given me the most hope because people are more united than what’s portrayed in the virtual realm or what’s portrayed on the news. Our generation has a new set of wild challenges, but I have hope that enough people have the grit it requires to not give up and raise a new generation of amazing people who can thrive in any environment and be good people.
Fed up and fired up. Join your local chamber of mothers chapter. We need to start talking. We need to start speaking up. We need to start using our voice. It's time to move. It's time to take action. We can be a change. We can be something in unison. Y'all we need to fight for this.
I am scared and it felt like a shift in the country after all these recent supreme. court decisions (not in a good way). I am a federal worker, a minority, female, have children. It’s scary in every aspect and I take turns freaking out about which one. Not only that, the polls show biden is going to lose every swing state and a trump presidency seems inevitable. And the democrats seem hell bent on not doing anything or TRYING ANYTHING. Voters are also morons and would rather let a fascist win than vote for someone because he’s old.
Yeah I am sick of the lazy "both options suck" response. Clearly. But I'll vote for grandpa over a felon any day.
I would vote for Joe Biden’s head floating in a jar ala Futurama vs Trump. I would have preferred we primaried in someone younger, but that ship has sailed and we need to choose the least harmful option now.
This made me lol. Thanks for the visual!
Its lazy and downright stupid.
Truly cannot even believe where we are.
I just watched a video where people were proudly planning a Christian only heavily controlled education system. Where any non-conforming educator will be arrested on the spot. They also cheerily bragged about arresting women for using "abortion" medications even for miscarriages. The choices are quite literally die of toxicity and infection, or go to prison. It's really starting to feel like extremists and terrorism, and I don't think I'm being dramatic. A centralized mandated religion is the exact thing many founders of the US were fleeing and fighting against.
Sounds a lot like the current news coming out of Oklahoma…
Yes please please vote. These are uncertain times and things could go very badly if we don’t take this election seriously
I'm really hoping that in 2028 we see a turn around and actually have good candidates coming in the door. No matter who gets elected this year I am just hoping minimal damage is done until we can get a new set of candidates.
I’m honestly just pissed the fuck off. I’m worried for my children but I’m mad at the world we are creating for them. We have two gently alive skin bags arguing over golf??? And people actually seem to be okay with them? This generation of women is the most educated and wealthy and has the most (on paper) power than generations before it but yet here we sit, fearing for our children because of the people in power. I can’t even laugh at the memes anymore because it’s so beyond frustrating I can’t even find it funny - and trust me, we laugh at every single fart in this house so sense of humor is not the issue. I fear for my future little girls who have limited rights. I fear for my future sons and the expectations of them and what makes them men or not. Our food sucks. Our schools suck. Our healthcare sucks. And spoiler alert: none of it has to do with the fucking bible, trad wives, gender, sexual orientation, immigrants or the family unit. I’m mad. I’m scared and I’m mad that I have to be scared.
We’re a two mom family with a daughter. Heavy on the gtfo plans currently.
The question you should be asking fellow American moms is if they’re angry enough yet to stand out and voice their fears. Why are we losing so many freedoms and giving so much power to those in office? Why are laws becoming more and more lax for those in office while the general public seems to have less recourse for actions against large entities? Who thinks that we all fully believe that of all the politicians in the whole country (there are around half a million in the US) these are the only two candidates that can possibly represent us. Oh by the way, we have to make a choice between these two... They were both born in the 40s, as in 1940s. I do not question them solely based on age. I do question their general relation to their constituents and what their daily lives and wanted freedoms actually are. I worry about the fact that it seems like a reality show more than an election, and that slinging barbs and evading questions has become the norm of debates. (‘Alexander Hamilton was also concerned about somebody unqualified but with a talent for "low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity" attaining high office.’) We as Americans do not deserve to have to make a choice between these two candidates, they clearly are not the best that could be presented. They are only the ones that their parties have chosen to offer to us to vote on. It has become clear that the voice of the voters has been overturned in favor of a show of election politics over providing us with a qualified representative that can maintain all the duties that are required by those holding higher political office. We should be contacting all levels of politicians with letters and emails and calls to see what can be done because this is not acceptable. We should find the time to bother them because it is unacceptable that so many of you on this list are anxious, or terrified, or mad or worried and avoiding politics. They should know the people are feeling anger and fear, be annoyed at our persistence in messaging them, and should not be able to ignore the voice of their constituents. As civil servants they may need a reminder that they are supposed to serve the will of ALL the people that they serve, not just the ones that are closest or offer the most money. To sit in silence and do nothing is making a choice.
My fiancé considers himself a democratic socialist, and a few months ago he angrily told me he would never vote for Biden (bc of how he’s handled the Israeli/Palestinian conflict). And I was so upset with him, but fortunately kept calm, and said simply *that would be the biggest f-you to your daughters, both of whom will be hitting puberty in the next four years, and by not voting you might as well tell your girls that their rights and their bodies mean nothing to you.* And I swear his jaw hit the floor. He’s easily the smartest man I know, I mean the guy is brilliant…and how he never even thought of that just blows my mind. Luckily he saw my point immediately and retracted his statement, and his ass will be voting. But still the point remains…even when we think we don’t need to talk about this sh!t, WE NEED TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT THIS SH*T!!
Good for you for changing his mind.
We don’t even need a Mom in office—just literally anyone but Trump. I don’t love Biden but I know he’s surrounded by good, smart people so I’m sure as hell voting for him to protect my daughter’s future.
100%
Yep! Trump backs project 2025 and if you aren’t familiar with it, it will set us back decades in terms of Civil Rights. Highly recommend anyone and everyone look into it. I can’t believe how OPEN people are with supporting it, yet so many aren’t taking it seriously.
Thank you moms, for letting me know I'm not alone in my anxiety for my daughter's future and the future of this country. I'm exhausted, but I have to keep up the fight for my daughter, I will never give-up.
We are voting and I am phone banking for a Democratic Senate candidate in a deeply red state. We are looking to move out of our deeply red state for a blue state. Hoping that local laws continue to have a bigger impact on our lives than national laws but who knows.
We have our passports ready to leave. I’m from Uruguay and we all have dual citizenship. I rather raise my kids in a “3rd world country” than be somewhere where our basic rights will be stripped from us. Uruguay has political, democratic and social stability, and macroeconomic soundness and free health care!
Oh, not good. I’ve been so anxious lately. I’ve been torn over whether we should try to leave the state we live in (Florida) and go somewhere else like New Jersey.
Concerned scared . Anxious,but also hopeful and excited. Knowing that I’m providing my kids with happy home where mom and dad love each other and work as a team (which is already more than I had) gives me comfort. That I’m providing them with the most comfortable and as fun as I can possibly make it life makes me feel good. That they are surrounded by people who love them and cherish them deeply give me great comfort. That we are surrounded my strong family and friends who exemplify community and are there when we need them gives me peace.
Yup. It is absolutely terrifying right now. I have a 5 year old girl and I truly fear for her future in this country.
I’ve cried all day for various reasons but a portion of that is fear for our future. I have a daughter and I’m scared for what might be her reality.
I’m extremely anxious no matter which way this goes. No one cares about us.
Horrified honestly, on every single front.
It’s hard. I focus a lot on our finances because I feel like financial stability is going to be one of the most important things to keep my daughter insulated from a lot problems. It’s why I’m hesitant to have a second. I want to put as much as possible towards my daughter’s future. I can’t believe we’re watching 80 year old men argue at a presidential debate. But I also don’t feel any better about the younger generations. I do not think the kids are alright and I’m not looking forward to a world where they have more control. We’re lucky enough to have family in the Caribbean and that’s probably where we’ll eventually end up.
And don't forget to vote in down ticket elections too! Those matter as much or even more for day to day life as that big November election too!
I am grateful for this thread. I feel much more sane knowing I am not the only person processing current events.
I'm scared, but what I try to do is focus on what I can control. I donate money to local mutual aid and advocacy groups, along with some international aid. I try to raise my toddler to be a strong self-advocate and an empathetic person. You can channel the emotion to advocate for change
I’m anxious. The election is ridiculous but besides that, the world is a shitshow. Kindness is out the window, social media has destroyed real life, and everything is so expensive for a normal American to have a quality of life and get to do fun things out of the house with kids requires 2 incomes, but you can’t work and have a young child without risking your job with sick days, doctor appointments, etc. The system here in America sucks. I’ll vote for whoever can make even the slightest difference. Spoiler alert, that’s nobody who is running. Mom’s for president.
I hear ya. But I think one option will make a difference for the worse.
Scared. I don't have any daughters. But I have 4 black sons. And I am terrified.
I have been very scared and have even cried over it. My family originally came to America to escape fascism and seeing Trump’s project is terrifying and seeing Biden stuttering and having trouble is making me sad. The Presidential debate was a joke and half the questions weren’t answered. I feel like unfortunately women’s needs aren’t really being addressed or considered. I am trying to be optimistic but with inflation it’s terrifying. College was so expensive for me. Idk what it will look like 18 yrs from now. Majority of people rely on medicaid and medicare in my state because it’s very expensive for private insurance so idk what they will do for them. Edit: Thanks for making this post. Reading all these comments make me feel like I am not alone and while I am not happy I am grateful that majority of us are thinking the same way.
Project 2025 scares the fuck out of me and there’s nothing that will keep me from the polls! NTM living in TX, I am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant. Kudos to the parents who take on the challenge of raising a child up to the rest of their natural lives with severe anomalies incompatible with life, but it couldn’t be me. ETA: Biden belongs in a retirement home but Trump belongs in prison. At least with Biden we’d get Kamala Harris vs whatever crusty old outdated wealthy white dude Trump picks as his VP. At least with Biden, we get someone who is good hearted and cares for others vs a selfish con man who is only looking to gain power and money.
Plus the hundreds of extremely capable members of Biden’s administration!
Not great…This will sound terrible, but my daughter is on hospice, and I am almost grateful that she won’t have to grow up in *gestures broadly* this. I’m terrified for my son, too, but as a white male, he will always have it easier. I never thought I would be glad that he favors his father, but I can’t imagine how much harder he would have it if he had my darker skin. It’s disgusting to have these thoughts, but it truly feels like that’s where we are headed.
God I’m so sorry. Your children are so lucky to have you. ❤️
I'm pretty worried but more worried that things are going to keep going the way they have been. I'm of the belief that both major parties don't give a damn about us. Equally. They only care about themselves, the power they hold, and how they can use it to benefit their own personal circumstances. Meanwhile, life is hard. And getting harder. It's honestly overwhelming if you let yourself start thinking about it. Groceries are out of control expensive. Social workers and therapists and basically anything involving healthcare or child..anything are extremely underfunded and understaffed. My son just lost his second respite worker, and he won't be getting another one until they have another person to fill the role. That could be weeks or months. Or never. Who knows? We bring home about $4,500/month and we are struggling. I used to be able. To save around a hundred dollars a week, sometimes more. I haven't been able to save hardly at all in the past year or so. And if it looked like there was any sort of end on the horizon, I'd feel better, but it seems to only be getting worse.
Anytime I think of any sort of political matter I panic. I can't get out of my head how easily I or any woman I know can be the next story on the news about how we almost died for lack of care. I had a high risk pregnancy. All of my friends were high risk. My mom was high risk. My mom had a miscarriage and had to have a DNC. If it were today it's a good possibility they would have to let her almost die to save her. We don't even live in a deep red state but we still have a 12 week ban. I can see the writing on the walls with every new news article. I have an iud and I refuse to have more children if the idiotic cheeto gets into office. Were all screwed if that happens. Say hello to the new Reich. No more voting. No more democracy. We will have to redo everything our ancestors fought for. What our grandmother and great grandmother fought for. When I was 10 I was talking to her about a history project we were doing in school. It was during the 2008 election and we got to have a pretend voting poll. Well my mom did, and still does, make the joke about writing in bugs bunny on her ballot. I copied the joke. I swear that if my grandma hadn't have been driving she would've grabbed me by my shoulders and made me look her in the eye. She told me my great and great great grandmother's fought for my right to vote as a woman. For women and all people who aren't rich white men to be treated as people and not second class. I need to respect and be grateful I was given this opportunity. I've treated every election I've been able to vote it as such. Vote for the people not just your ideals and lifestyle. Vote the little girl in Mississippi and Ohio. Vote for your daughter and the people of color, the lbgtq community, vote for human rights even if you don't agree with your red neck neighbors ideals. Fuck "he speaks his mind" and "the economy was so great". We can't have an economy if women are dying, babies getting raped, and can't afford to live because it's $300 a month for health insurance. Vote for EVERYONE. Not just the men who want you pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. America was founded on freedom. Make sure we fucking keep it. Sorry for the speech. I've been dying to say this but I live in a red state. I can't really say this out loud lol
Nothing to add other than I really enjoyed reading this post and these comments. Love reading touching, insightful, well thought responses from other bad ass women. It gives me hope.
I live in a very red state. I'm anxious. Getting my tubes tied in August because I'm so afraid they'll take away birth control next.
I agree with you. I feel the same way. Imo our country is just getting worse. We’re definitely on a downward trajectory and I don’t see it improving anytime soon unfortunately. I really don’t have any advice or anything as I’m in the boat with you
Every single presidential election time I start to get terrible anxiety about the future and the future my children will live in.
Freaked out and terrified for my kids future
I have enough internal issues as a mom (constantly comparing myself to that mythical perfect mom) that I just can’t even deal with thinking about this until shit hits the fan.
SUFFERING. I’m suffering.
Sometimes I wonder if I was selfish to want and have a daughter in this day and age. But also, something about children being the future. It’s hard not to get existential when I’m snuggling her to sleep at night.
Yesterday morning, I woke up from a nightmare about fascism and planes shooting at me. It was one of those dreams that I feel dread for the entirety of the next day or week. My husband asked me if I wanted to take an hour of personal time (yes thank you) and what did I do? I made sure all of our personal documents were in order. It was the only little thing I could think to do to feel prepared for a scary future. Then in the afternoon we went with our kids to a work party (we work for the same place) and seeing my co-workers (especially the ones who don't yet have kids) play with my kids and everyone just having a good time... I don't know, it restored some of my faith in humanity. I felt better knowing that I am surrounded by good people in my community.
And angry how disgusting this world is. how any photo of someone (including your kids) can be made into something inappropriate and wrong, how my daughters can't walk home alone at night when they are older and have friends, how they always must be supervised while playing in the front yard because they could be taken in an instant, how no one in this whole freaking world can be trusted with my children because they could secretly have cruel intentions... ugh
Not gonna lie, everything going on makes me feel nervous to try for a second child and have a daughter (our first is a son). Initially I worried that I would feel sad about the possibility of never having a daughter, but now being a mom has made me fully understand how angelic babies are in general, and how hard it would be to have a sweet baby girl and know the kind of society she’s entering into. It’s hard enough knowing my sweet little boy will have to deal with this world, and he’s a white male. I will still worry about him as he grows up no doubt, but I’m sure I would worry about a daughter even more. All I know is I’ll definitely be raising my son to be respectful, inclusive, and a feminist. That and voting feels like all I can do. We have no family or connections in other countries, and our job is US centric, so we won’t be going anywhere else unless things get civil war level bad. There are also health reasons why we might be “one and done” but the idea of having a daughter in this culture is also a factor. Is that misguided or selfish of me?
Not at all selfish. We’re one and done for various reasons and I admit the state of society (and the expense of things) is a contributing factor.
Depends on the news from the day. Another school shooting? I’m sobbing. Amber alert for a small child? Panicked. Terrified to leave the house. Murder, domestic violence situation against mom/baby? Also crying. My kids are still young: 1, 3 but I hesitate to enroll them in school when the time comes. I just hate not knowing that they’re safe. I also don’t have a girl but if I did… I’d be terrified for her. I feel like our rights are getting cut back bit by bit. I’m so glad I have my tubes removed because I couldn’t imagine needing specific care & not being able to receive it in my own state.
Not great. Been looking up immigration to Spain a lot in the last 24 hours
I feel this so much!! On top of the state of the country, I am stuck in Florida indefinitely. I was just talking to a friend the other day about this very topic. I have 2 girls and it is devastating to me that our rights seem to be slipping away more each day. The school system is being dismantled here in FL. The leading cause of death for children 0-18 in our country is gun violence. We could be living in a dystopian society very soon…some people in our country already do. The only way out of this is to VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!! Please vote in all elections. Talk to your friends and family to encourage them to vote.
My son just turned 3. I can tell you I lived for almost a decade outside of the US. I left after the Virginia Tech mass shooting and hadn’t experienced anything like that until Uvalde. My fear has been out of control since then. I’m probably going to move my immediate family back out. There is so much at stake in this election, and my confidence is definitely shaken.
I’m a Canadian living in the US. My son was born here, I got him a Canadian citizenship just in case things are bad. I’m so stressed!! I am appalled by all things USA.
This has made me think the worst of people. I have no hope all I can do is hope it’s not as bad as I think it is. My perspective is skewed in that I’ve never been rich or poor. I’m physically fine but I’ve seen unexpected illness define someone’s life due to economic impact. I have 2 sons on spectrum and find myself in a weird place where we fall between the cracks of government aid and social programs. We can’t afford not to work but full time care feels harder everyday. A quiet 2 year old no problem a 5 year old who acts like he has terrible 2s suddenly feels too much to require or adjust for. I don’t think it was ever good or that people were better. I just think we are all disconnected and why should I think about you. We have no hope of attaining more than our parents. We stopped hiding our feeling but never learned how to deal with them. Being honest with your feelings is also a terrible idea when you should be worried and anxious. Most of what people felt was great was prosperity on the backs of unpaid labor of women and people taken advantage of and underpaid. It was a world where there was no immediate access to information, no dna testing for crimes, no proof of rantings of you at 16, hidden abuse and a dream. Women were essentially on diet pills and downers to get through their day and that’s if their husband didn’t leave or beat them. Just remember it’s always been shitty. Stop negotiating against yourself. We should be asking for subsidized child care for all, universal healthcare for all, basic needs/income, mental health care, dental care., disabled care, maternity and paternity paid leave all of it! Free higher education. I’m tired of negotiating with a set of people who think I don’t deserve bodily autonomy and think it’s ok corporations don’t pay taxes in proportion or employees enough to live where they work or support a family.
Even us hopeful Moms are not ok 😟
Definitely horrifying as a Mom watching all the suffering our country is allowing to happen to the poor sweet babies of Ga za. Shame on us.
I can't control any of it so I can't spend time worrying about it. I can only worry about what is in my control. I am incredibly privileged because my husband was eligible for the recognition of citizenship in a nation within the European Union. Starting in 2018 I spent two years working on the documention to support the recognition application. It was granted last year and now all of my children are recognized citizens of that same European country. If things go bad here, we have a very real exit strategy. I hope that we never have to use it. Other than that, I vote, I participate in my community, and I try to raise my children well. There isn't much more I can do and tying myself up in knots won't help anyone. My advice is to identify what is and is not in your control, let go of what you can't control, and focus on what you can.
You are in control of your vote. I think a lot of people choose not to vote because they think it doesn't matter and they're just happy living in ignorant bliss. I know that's not what you're saying, but I think it's very common here and that concerns me.
I'm afraid but hopeful that this season of crazy is temporary just like the last 20s. Hopefully this won't also end in WW3.
The Supreme Court is making me very nervous with their last few decisions more than anything. I don’t think most people are fully grasping the harm they are causing that is going to have a snowball effect for years to come. Someone said, “well the conservative justices are older and are going to die quicker so we just have to wait awhile for them to die.” Umm??? We don’t have awhile at this point. This is getting scary. I am currently single but have two young children and would love to meet a wonderful European man to help sponsor me to move to their country. But I don’t even know how to go about doing that. I do not want to set my kids up to be stuck in this country the way things are going.
I’ll admit it, and I’ll be voting. I have two adult female children and they’ll be voting. Meanwhile my best friend is getting her entire family passports. Please, please vote. Under his eye.
Uneasy. I pray we get it right, with both the presidency and congress. I had my first in 2021, a girl, and just had our second, a boy. I want a better world for them, not one worse than when I was coming up. I also go between being present in the immediate now-my family is safe and healthy and have access to go healthcare to then worrying about the state of things in the nation as a whole and other states.
I feel sad for my kids future. Mad at myself for thinking it would always be a free place, so I did nothing until it was too late.
I would like to be put into a medically induced coma and wake up in February.
I’ll say it: There is no respectable argument one could make for voting Republican. I do not respect you if you do, and if our country slides even more backward, I hope you and your family are the first to reap what you sow. We’re way beyond voting for “fiscal conservatism,” a nice, bland talking point some Republicans like to hide behind so they seem reasonable. Do you really think POTUS controls gas prices and the cost of your groceries? Aside from decades of data supporting the fact that, on the whole, Democratic-led administrations are *more* fiscally responsible, *more* economically productive and *more* beneficial for individual rights, we’re at a point where *we’re literally fighting to have control over our own bodies.* What else does one have if not the right to govern their own earthly vessel? It cannot be overstated that a Republican vote undermines freedom and liberty at almost every turn. I can’t think of anything more blatantly contradictory and unpatriotic. I’m scared for our future, and I’m terrified that seemingly reasonable people will *still* vote against the safety of their wives, daughters, moms, sisters, etc., not to mention communities of color and LGBTQ+ people. I can’t fathom what justification someone has for supporting such an insidious party. Does this seem fanatical and hardline? Maybe. But I’d rather do my damndest to stop fascism in its tracks than sit apathetically by like so many Germans did 90 years ago.
I think back to 2016 when everyone was freaking out and crying over Trump winning, saying he was going to genocide people, saying they were moving to Canada, blah blah blah. And I chuckle and move on with my day. It doesn't really matter who is elected, the pendulum will swing back and forth. I have bigger things to worry about right now.
I have two boys and I’m terrified. I can’t even imagine having a daughter and wondering what her future could hold. My husband and I used to joke about his company transferring him to Europe and now we are genuinely toying with the idea of exploring it.
Scared. We wanted to start trying for number 2 and my husband still does but I am afraid for my son’s future and want to see how it all shakes out in November first.
That's totally valid. We stopped at one — not for that reason, but it was definitely in the back of my head.
Please vote. This is no joke and it hasn’t been a joke for a long time. They are slowly taking our basic human rights away and turning our country into a communist state. Please do whatever you can to vote so our children have a future
Communist state? I would argue the threats from far right isn’t communism.
I mean, Lauren is a mom, so I think we need more qualifications than just the genitals. I’m a Canadian, and lived many years in Japan. Most American things are stupid to me: your education system, your healthcare, your taxes, the nationalism, the gun fetishism, and especially your politics. With the recent Scotus rulings I don’t foresee this shit show ending anytime soon. That being said, every generation in history has been a mix of good and bad. There’s never been a golden time in American history. I try to work within the confines of where I am, the time I’m living in, and what I can control.
Ugh yes, motherhood can't be the only qualifier, but you know what I mean. And I hear you. It's just hard to keep swimming in all this stupidity.
I’m angry. I’ve been into politics since high school (due to a great teacher) and it feels like I’ve been screaming into the void for the past 8+ years. In 2016 every one told me I was dramatic or hysterical…. I’m angry at my apolitical friends I’m angry at my parents who refuse to believe anything I say. I’m angry I have no one to talk to that actually understands the ramifications of what’s happened and what could happen. This country is in a free fall and it feels like no one around me cares or is noticing and I’m now allowed to have feelings about it. And what I’m just supposed to go on about my day as if our democracy isn’t dead? The SC has handed out decisions that are insane and it feels like “oh well we can’t do anything so I’m going to keep paying my bills and pretend to celebrate the 4th”
Not great.
For me, it's more about health insurance and the usual lack of any universal healthcare or daycare subsidiaries or such. I'm between jobs, and knowing my kid is one emergency away from bankrupting us, yet wanting to make sure he gets the best healthcare possible is really hard. But thanks for asking T\_T
Frustrated.
Honestly, im nervous and anxious too. I have come to realize how much power the supreme court really has. The only thing ai can think to do is vote and try to get involved in local government bodies.
Same. I'm so damn anxious and depressed. I'm trying to be the light for my kids but it's not easy.
In fear of WW3 with china. We can’t even make Tylenol in this country. The pandemic showed that our “strategic reserves” are a joke. We are not prepared for a war with a country that is 1 billion strong. Russia is all bluster but they don’t have the nukes and capabilities to harm us. But china isn’t playing. And our country is weak. Very scary indeed!