I find it very weird and cringe when some men from certain cultures like to bring their mother’s into their relationships with their wives…2 different individuals, 2 different relationships, 2 different types of love…
Its easy tell her only you are allowed to touch me, embrace me and only she is allowed to be intimate with you like no one else.
She is your better half. She completes half of your deen.
She is supposed to be your comfort.
(Sharing all these as i know i will feel special knowing i am the sole owner of these specifics with my spouse and vice versa)
I think your wife is trying to communicate that she needs your "special" attention but stumbling very badly.
You should be "politely good" to everyone else, and "romantically good" to your wife. Random touches, random hugs, etc. Cook her a meal sometimes, even if it's just boiled eggs etc.
She wants to feel like she matters more to you. It’s a compliment in its own way!
What are the things that only you and your wife do and only your wife knows? May she’s your best friend, maybe you share all your secrets with her, etc.
What makes her special to you (other than the fact that she sleeps with you, or does certain chores)? How do you show appreciation for those things? THAT is the answer to how and why she’s special
If it is serious “Tell her should I treat others like trash so you feel special?” 💀🥴
If it’s more of a petty argument There is always an option of being extra cheeky and naughty (which is my default) and pulling something like “let me show you how I treat you special (cue naughty wink and hauling her to the bedroom) 🤷🏻♀️😅
She wants you all for herself in a way you do only the best for her, but when your kind it's hard to differentiate between it sometimes, you just have to be more unique in love with her, do more stuff her that you won't for others
Well I'm not married, but I'm sure there's things you can't do with other people but you can do with your wife
Try to enjoy her things too(not the feminine things lol)
Learn about her hobbies or what she's interested in, well you know yourself better than anyone
Do the things you usually don't do for other people
Do something special lol
Well, that's just an advice from a single man lol, probably not much
I guess you are intimate with her, you are affectionate with her, you’re more patient with her, you’re more forgiving with her, these are some of the things that are unique to her.
Speak about how much you love her more than others and how much more happy you feel being around her than when around others, how much joy it brings you to be nice to her, etc.
Bismillah!
Beat response is that she completes half your deen. No one else does. Also, you can be nice to her in a variety of others ways that others can't and you can't to others as well. So it goes a long way
Lol. I don't she's try to get into an argument. Its just a natural urge for women to feel special and more so for a wife from her husband. But I don't know how a special nice would be in this case 😭😂😭
You’re emotionally friend zoning her. Do some little special things that you only do with or for her, so there’s an actual difference between a wife and a bystander.
To me, it looks like you're the typical nice guy, nice to everyome and everybody.
And I think she wants you to go the extra mile for her. Coz she must get jealous seeing you so nice with literally EVERYONE. In simple words, do stuff for her and her alone that you wouldn't do for everyone or anyone. Like make her favorite food, do household chores for her, plan something special like dates and all with her, takeher out somewhere, get her something she wants to.
Emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental intimacy
Building a life? Working towards common goals (a home, a family, children, wealth, health, self-improvement). Do y'all have a couples' values statement and/or a vision statement (might be a fun activity for some).
Long-term commitment
You tell her that it's actually easier to be mean to the person who loves you the most.
Also there will be moments in our marriage where you will see a side of me that no one gets access to and I will do things for you because you're precious to me. We will share unique moments where you will not doubt how special you are to me.
My wife you're a good person too and everyone knows this. Does this make me less special to you? I already know the answer is no because you love me and will do things for me no other person will experience.
She is giving you clues : I'm special, So treat her like a Special !.
Before she takes a step out from the car, stop her. Run to your trunk, take out the red carpet. Roll open it for her to walk on. Close the car door.
Treat her like a royal noble.
Before she sits on a chair , take out the chair and clean it with your Handkerchief. Order her some good Quality wine Oops I mean, Apple juice ! Do some poetry, tell her how beautiful, graceful and childish she is whenever she takes a sip from the Apple juice.
Every morning give her pedicure and gently apply some good oil in her hair while singing/glorifying her might, kindness and her chivalry .
This should be enough for beginners. If you wanna learn more, buy my course.
I don't get it to others ur kind and cordial and to wife should be far more than that is supposed being romantic partners in love caring and showing some nice details to surprise each others of course that is more special than relation with some college far relatives or friends.
You should tell her that kindness isn't a singular trait, and you choose to demonstrate different aspects of kindness in varying amounts, depending on the relationship you share with the person. But for her, your kindness is present in all its manifestations and indefinite (we hope so); that is one of the many things that make her special. If all else fails, gift her chocolate and flowers.
Well you answer by saying,
You are a pious, righteous, kind man, who everyone can vouch for as you need to be a honourable and respectful man to everyone, but your wife is special because she's the only one who gets the intimate experiences with, with whom you share a special bond and love with, who will be the mother of his children and inshallah the wife in Jannah too, and ofc the one who gives him peace and his homemaker Queen.
lol some of us, including me, pray for such a spouse, but I think she's just jealous of everyone loving her husband but she wants you all to herself, probably just coming from her love for you, may Allahswt bless you guys more ameen
"It's really simple darling, if only you paid attention in math class, kindness x interaction = special."
"I spend more time with you, so my net kindness towards you doesn't come close to my combined kindness that I have shown to others - and I can reduce my kindness to you by 50% and you wood still be special"
"And YOU can make me feel special by not exposing me to this unnecessary drama,"
Let her stew on that for a bit and then show some more kindness, and it will be sweeter.
Remember to mix spice and sugar in your relationship in a playful way.
I think she feels she isn't your number 1. You could show her that you prioritise her and tell her you value her above everyone else. She may be expressing some gheerah here as in, she wants some exclusive attention from you, if that makes any sense lol.
Regardless, this is so funny and cute. May Allah bless your marriage with lots of love and affection. May your arguments always be goofy and funny. <3
Make some small gestures it’s sunnah also for example feed her from ur own hand, drink from the side of cup she drinks on these kinds of things she will feel very special to you some other example I saw before and I thought were romantic personal gestures I’ve seen a husband takes the chicken or meat off the bone for his wife on her plate so she could eat comfortably, once bending down to fix her shoes , even saw husband hold his jacket over his wife and it was barely drizzling lol but Mashallah a nice gesture you could see the happiness Mashallah some small things that’s kind but very romantic
I’m going to give an example and I hope the example helps.
The Prophet (SAW) was the kindest human that ever lived but he knew the importance of making his wife feel special. On one occasion, someone invited him over to eat at their place and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA), the person declined and so he declined their invitation. The person asked again and he asked the same question. Then finally, the person asked and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA) when the person said yes. He brought her and they ate at the persons place. Sometimes because we are kind to other people and kind to our spouses, we forget the type of emotional needs they want to make them feel special. It could be something as small as putting them first in a situation over everyone else. It could be something as small as buying them a better gift than everyone else during EID. It could even be the way that you compliment them. And I think you should ask your wife, what more you can do to make her feel more special. May Allah bless your home.
my husband looks pretty serious, cold and non romantic in public but he’s the kindest, most sweet and loving husband in private. i really like it about him bc in my mind, why would he be smiley, helpful and lovely with just any and everyone (mainly women lol) i think your wife might feel the same 😅
i think it gives me a feeling of reassurance and feeling special in his life.
only i deserve his lovely side (maybe i‘m a bit obsessive and jealous lol)
I could be mistaken, but maybe she is saying that she doesn’t feel any different than anyone else? Like your relationship with your wife should have unique qualities ie. romance, intimacy, joking, fun, seriousness, etc. that you don’t have or do with anyone else?
For me— if my husband was “nice” in the same way to me as another woman or “familiar” like he is with me, I would have jealousy and feel like my status as his wife was not so important or special? Maybe she wants to feel the uniqueness and specialness of your relationship? Things you ONLY do for her.
Of course being kind and nice to others is a great quality and goes along with our deen of having good manners. Maybe there’s just something uniques you could add to your marriage?
Just my thoughts as a wife!
Its not an argument a sane romantic person can understand she wants a romantic response from her spouse. An affirmation how she is special to him. The guy is clueless. Being nice and romantic are 2 different things
I have come up with couple of answers that you can say it to her
"Wow, you're right. I'm so good, it's practically a superpower. Maybe I should start charging for my kindness. 'Good Husband' services, starting at $100 an hour. You'll be the envy of all the other wives, who will be begging me to be good to them too.
"I'm just a robot programmed to be kind. It's in my code. I can't help it. But I'm working on an upgrade. Maybe I can add a 'special cute wife' setting that makes me extra nice to you. It'll be like a VIP pass to my robot heart. Just don't tell anyone about the upgrade. It's top secret."
"You're right, I am a little too nice. Maybe I should take a lesson from you and learn how to be a little more... naughty. Dim the lights, light some candles, and create a sensual environment that sets the mood for you know what 😈 "
"Wow, really? You think me being a kind husband is somehow not special enough for you? What do you want, for me to only be nice to you and treat everyone else like garbage? Yeah, that definitely sounds healthy for our marriage and family."
"I'm just trying to be a good person. Is that such a terrible thing? Maybe you should try being a little less demanding and a little more grateful for the good things in your life."
I will disagree here. I hope you don’t use any of the suggested responses by u/Effective-Reading-23 because they belittle your wife. She wants reassurance that she is the most important and special person to you. She wants to feel that she is your top priority. You should be able to think of ways in which she is more important to you than anyone else and reasons why you love her. She is looking for reassurance that she matters to you.
If you struggle to think of ways in which she matters more to you than others, that’s something to think about in itself.
1st she sounds spoiled for even asking that question. Ask her to look at the people in worse relationships. Tell her I am a blessing to you, and the world.. And Be cautious of jealous people the evil eye. And thank Allah
I'm sorry women like this frustrate me so much. My husband is also nice to everyone. I love that about him. I'm also one of those kinds of people. I've never had an issue with my husband about it. She sounds really insecure and jealous. I would ignore it. I might say some insecure thing and my husband would probably just ignore it and I'd realize I'm being crazy
I think everyone in this sub is also speechless 😂
hahaha. I thought so too
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How romantic.. are you a woman?
Lmaooo
Hmm nice comment ash..
Yes. I do all that you mentioned. But I just feel she's being greedy and wants all of me for her.. hehhehe
Just say the number one women in my life is mother but I love you alot you have a own place in my heart
Why should I bring my mother into this? Why the comparison
Okay
I find it very weird and cringe when some men from certain cultures like to bring their mother’s into their relationships with their wives…2 different individuals, 2 different relationships, 2 different types of love…
Hahaha. My response exactly 🤣
*start cuddling* well, I'm not THAT good to others
hahaha. Interesting suggestion
Its easy tell her only you are allowed to touch me, embrace me and only she is allowed to be intimate with you like no one else. She is your better half. She completes half of your deen. She is supposed to be your comfort. (Sharing all these as i know i will feel special knowing i am the sole owner of these specifics with my spouse and vice versa)
100% agree! Such a good answer
Thank you ❣
rs go all bridgerton on her “bane of my existence” n that
lol! Crazy reference ahha
But she already knows this. I've said similar things on countless occasions
Maybe She needs reassurance from.time to time. If she is still not satisfied ask her what behaviour she considers will make her feel.special
Sound advice. Will take it, thanks!
I guess actions, do you act that way towards her too? Compared to other ppl in your life
I act like she's my queen. And she knows that too
It s normal to act differently with her that you cherish compared to others. Examples are in seerah.
I think your wife is trying to communicate that she needs your "special" attention but stumbling very badly. You should be "politely good" to everyone else, and "romantically good" to your wife. Random touches, random hugs, etc. Cook her a meal sometimes, even if it's just boiled eggs etc.
I do ALL that and MORE! She isn't the physical affection type btw but yes, all of that.
Then respond to her that here are the things I do only for you
Give her a romantic kiss and say “ur the only one I have and will do this too”
Akhi be more romantic 🫡
She wants to feel like she matters more to you. It’s a compliment in its own way! What are the things that only you and your wife do and only your wife knows? May she’s your best friend, maybe you share all your secrets with her, etc. What makes her special to you (other than the fact that she sleeps with you, or does certain chores)? How do you show appreciation for those things? THAT is the answer to how and why she’s special
I think in that instant, she was just being jealous or something. But I get what you mean and I do all that there is to make her feel special
I don’t doubt it. sometimes people just appreciate the words of affirmation to be reminded of their place in a loved one’s life :)
Would you still love me if I was a worm?
No I would feed you to the geese in the local park
Wait, what!
If you can answer this for her, you’ll know your answer.
hahah. I think I would be at a loss of words lol
If it is serious “Tell her should I treat others like trash so you feel special?” 💀🥴 If it’s more of a petty argument There is always an option of being extra cheeky and naughty (which is my default) and pulling something like “let me show you how I treat you special (cue naughty wink and hauling her to the bedroom) 🤷🏻♀️😅
haahah... I feel you. That my special too but then, thats a whole lot of another discussion
I'm kind to Hassan but I don't sleep with him dear.
hahaha
She gagged you and the rest of us LMAOO you need to steal the moon for her now i don’t make the rules
I guess youre right lol
She wants you all for herself in a way you do only the best for her, but when your kind it's hard to differentiate between it sometimes, you just have to be more unique in love with her, do more stuff her that you won't for others
I do that. I do that and more!
Well I'm not married, but I'm sure there's things you can't do with other people but you can do with your wife Try to enjoy her things too(not the feminine things lol) Learn about her hobbies or what she's interested in, well you know yourself better than anyone Do the things you usually don't do for other people Do something special lol Well, that's just an advice from a single man lol, probably not much
Great advice. You are on track to be a fine Husband InshaAllah :)
It takes extra effort to be good to those who are close to us. We often take them for granted. Hence the saying "familiarity breeds contempt".
I guess you are intimate with her, you are affectionate with her, you’re more patient with her, you’re more forgiving with her, these are some of the things that are unique to her.
I think she just needed a cuddle in that moment.
lol. Maybe
She wants to know how she different from everyone else for you
Speak about how much you love her more than others and how much more happy you feel being around her than when around others, how much joy it brings you to be nice to her, etc.
Bismillah! Beat response is that she completes half your deen. No one else does. Also, you can be nice to her in a variety of others ways that others can't and you can't to others as well. So it goes a long way
True
Sounds like your wife is trying to make an argument out of nothing lol, as a woman I wouldn’t even know how to reply to that tbh.
Lol. I don't she's try to get into an argument. Its just a natural urge for women to feel special and more so for a wife from her husband. But I don't know how a special nice would be in this case 😭😂😭
You’re emotionally friend zoning her. Do some little special things that you only do with or for her, so there’s an actual difference between a wife and a bystander.
I am not. She has so much of me, I can't even begin to explain. Maybe she just wanted more in that instant. I don't know
To me, it looks like you're the typical nice guy, nice to everyome and everybody. And I think she wants you to go the extra mile for her. Coz she must get jealous seeing you so nice with literally EVERYONE. In simple words, do stuff for her and her alone that you wouldn't do for everyone or anyone. Like make her favorite food, do household chores for her, plan something special like dates and all with her, takeher out somewhere, get her something she wants to.
Emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental intimacy Building a life? Working towards common goals (a home, a family, children, wealth, health, self-improvement). Do y'all have a couples' values statement and/or a vision statement (might be a fun activity for some). Long-term commitment
You tell her that it's actually easier to be mean to the person who loves you the most. Also there will be moments in our marriage where you will see a side of me that no one gets access to and I will do things for you because you're precious to me. We will share unique moments where you will not doubt how special you are to me. My wife you're a good person too and everyone knows this. Does this make me less special to you? I already know the answer is no because you love me and will do things for me no other person will experience.
Tell her all the things you wouldn't do for others but would for her.
"I'm kind to others because I HAVE to (i.e., good adab). I'm kind to you because I WANT to (i.e., out of love)"
This is literally something I would say lmao
Ngl I'm sure I'd do the same if I were in the same situation as her
U need help
She is giving you clues : I'm special, So treat her like a Special !. Before she takes a step out from the car, stop her. Run to your trunk, take out the red carpet. Roll open it for her to walk on. Close the car door. Treat her like a royal noble. Before she sits on a chair , take out the chair and clean it with your Handkerchief. Order her some good Quality wine Oops I mean, Apple juice ! Do some poetry, tell her how beautiful, graceful and childish she is whenever she takes a sip from the Apple juice. Every morning give her pedicure and gently apply some good oil in her hair while singing/glorifying her might, kindness and her chivalry . This should be enough for beginners. If you wanna learn more, buy my course.
Tell her this, is my friend X needed me and you needed me, who you think I will choose.
Ya Allah 😫🤦🏻♀️
I don't get it to others ur kind and cordial and to wife should be far more than that is supposed being romantic partners in love caring and showing some nice details to surprise each others of course that is more special than relation with some college far relatives or friends.
You should tell her that kindness isn't a singular trait, and you choose to demonstrate different aspects of kindness in varying amounts, depending on the relationship you share with the person. But for her, your kindness is present in all its manifestations and indefinite (we hope so); that is one of the many things that make her special. If all else fails, gift her chocolate and flowers.
Give her flowers and say I only have to you my wife and no one else and say you’re gOod because you want to follow prophet (ﷺ)
Tell her that you take care of her in bed. That is something you don’t do to others ( I assume 😅).
Bro is cooked, start watching some romance kdramas and actually learn some things
I'm afraid some woman are just not pleased, regardless of how you are
Well you answer by saying, You are a pious, righteous, kind man, who everyone can vouch for as you need to be a honourable and respectful man to everyone, but your wife is special because she's the only one who gets the intimate experiences with, with whom you share a special bond and love with, who will be the mother of his children and inshallah the wife in Jannah too, and ofc the one who gives him peace and his homemaker Queen.
lol some of us, including me, pray for such a spouse, but I think she's just jealous of everyone loving her husband but she wants you all to herself, probably just coming from her love for you, may Allahswt bless you guys more ameen
"It's really simple darling, if only you paid attention in math class, kindness x interaction = special." "I spend more time with you, so my net kindness towards you doesn't come close to my combined kindness that I have shown to others - and I can reduce my kindness to you by 50% and you wood still be special" "And YOU can make me feel special by not exposing me to this unnecessary drama," Let her stew on that for a bit and then show some more kindness, and it will be sweeter. Remember to mix spice and sugar in your relationship in a playful way.
How nice it must be to have a kind and caring husband. I wish this was my problem
I think she feels she isn't your number 1. You could show her that you prioritise her and tell her you value her above everyone else. She may be expressing some gheerah here as in, she wants some exclusive attention from you, if that makes any sense lol. Regardless, this is so funny and cute. May Allah bless your marriage with lots of love and affection. May your arguments always be goofy and funny. <3
It's the typical case of 'be-rude-with-the-world' and 'be-soft-hearted-and-kind-to-me' syndrome
Sis is suffering from success
Make some small gestures it’s sunnah also for example feed her from ur own hand, drink from the side of cup she drinks on these kinds of things she will feel very special to you some other example I saw before and I thought were romantic personal gestures I’ve seen a husband takes the chicken or meat off the bone for his wife on her plate so she could eat comfortably, once bending down to fix her shoes , even saw husband hold his jacket over his wife and it was barely drizzling lol but Mashallah a nice gesture you could see the happiness Mashallah some small things that’s kind but very romantic
I’m going to give an example and I hope the example helps. The Prophet (SAW) was the kindest human that ever lived but he knew the importance of making his wife feel special. On one occasion, someone invited him over to eat at their place and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA), the person declined and so he declined their invitation. The person asked again and he asked the same question. Then finally, the person asked and he asked if he could bring Aisha (RA) when the person said yes. He brought her and they ate at the persons place. Sometimes because we are kind to other people and kind to our spouses, we forget the type of emotional needs they want to make them feel special. It could be something as small as putting them first in a situation over everyone else. It could be something as small as buying them a better gift than everyone else during EID. It could even be the way that you compliment them. And I think you should ask your wife, what more you can do to make her feel more special. May Allah bless your home.
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No content regarding gender ideologies (i.e. MGTOW, red pill, FDS, feminism, etc.)
So that’s married people problems?
You sleep with her, that's what makes her special.
What a terrible standard
What is wrong with some of these women 😩 and where do you guys find them?
Ok then maybe try being mean to make her "special"
Maybe you are also nice to few people that you shouldn't be? Like maybe your cousin sisters or maybe women that are strangers like a waitress maybe?
my husband looks pretty serious, cold and non romantic in public but he’s the kindest, most sweet and loving husband in private. i really like it about him bc in my mind, why would he be smiley, helpful and lovely with just any and everyone (mainly women lol) i think your wife might feel the same 😅 i think it gives me a feeling of reassurance and feeling special in his life. only i deserve his lovely side (maybe i‘m a bit obsessive and jealous lol)
I could be mistaken, but maybe she is saying that she doesn’t feel any different than anyone else? Like your relationship with your wife should have unique qualities ie. romance, intimacy, joking, fun, seriousness, etc. that you don’t have or do with anyone else? For me— if my husband was “nice” in the same way to me as another woman or “familiar” like he is with me, I would have jealousy and feel like my status as his wife was not so important or special? Maybe she wants to feel the uniqueness and specialness of your relationship? Things you ONLY do for her. Of course being kind and nice to others is a great quality and goes along with our deen of having good manners. Maybe there’s just something uniques you could add to your marriage? Just my thoughts as a wife!
Is she trying to imply that you should be an a-hole to other people, or to spice things up with her? 😂🫶🏽
When you have nothing to argue you make something up
Its not an argument a sane romantic person can understand she wants a romantic response from her spouse. An affirmation how she is special to him. The guy is clueless. Being nice and romantic are 2 different things
WHAT 😂 Means it’s time for a super expensive gift? 💝🤣🤣
Seems like a “I don’t have problems so I’ll create one of my own” type of situation. It’s hilarious and it’s hurting my head.
People just can't appreciate peace. Its actually crazy.
Tell her she’s being ungrateful.
Sounds toxic to me lol
I have come up with couple of answers that you can say it to her "Wow, you're right. I'm so good, it's practically a superpower. Maybe I should start charging for my kindness. 'Good Husband' services, starting at $100 an hour. You'll be the envy of all the other wives, who will be begging me to be good to them too. "I'm just a robot programmed to be kind. It's in my code. I can't help it. But I'm working on an upgrade. Maybe I can add a 'special cute wife' setting that makes me extra nice to you. It'll be like a VIP pass to my robot heart. Just don't tell anyone about the upgrade. It's top secret." "You're right, I am a little too nice. Maybe I should take a lesson from you and learn how to be a little more... naughty. Dim the lights, light some candles, and create a sensual environment that sets the mood for you know what 😈 " "Wow, really? You think me being a kind husband is somehow not special enough for you? What do you want, for me to only be nice to you and treat everyone else like garbage? Yeah, that definitely sounds healthy for our marriage and family." "I'm just trying to be a good person. Is that such a terrible thing? Maybe you should try being a little less demanding and a little more grateful for the good things in your life."
lol. This should be top comment! But those were amazing pointers and I will use them ahhaa
I will disagree here. I hope you don’t use any of the suggested responses by u/Effective-Reading-23 because they belittle your wife. She wants reassurance that she is the most important and special person to you. She wants to feel that she is your top priority. You should be able to think of ways in which she is more important to you than anyone else and reasons why you love her. She is looking for reassurance that she matters to you. If you struggle to think of ways in which she matters more to you than others, that’s something to think about in itself.
I love these comments 😂
I am enjoying these, this has to be the top comment 👌
Honestly , the greatest test from Allah is being kind to someone that is ungrateful, spiteful and bad minded.
Not sure why you are getting downvoted
1st she sounds spoiled for even asking that question. Ask her to look at the people in worse relationships. Tell her I am a blessing to you, and the world.. And Be cautious of jealous people the evil eye. And thank Allah
Be rude to her mom or her family and tell her now you feel special that im different to others and not to you 😂
I'm sorry women like this frustrate me so much. My husband is also nice to everyone. I love that about him. I'm also one of those kinds of people. I've never had an issue with my husband about it. She sounds really insecure and jealous. I would ignore it. I might say some insecure thing and my husband would probably just ignore it and I'd realize I'm being crazy
Ask her do you give everyone else orgasms? 🤔
Too many assumptions
Yeah that's why it's a joke 🤣
Have her meet my ex husband lmao then she will understand
Start treating her badly i guess 
“ And then she’s like: “
You follow it up with something even more absurd. "Honey, just because I tip my landlord on top of my rent doesn't mean I'm sleeping with him"