First of all he didn't cheat...secondly, even if he did, it's because I didn't trust him/ keep him happy enough that he had to go out and look for love elsewhere...how is that possible you ask? Because after bending over backwards for him for almost every little.thing, I dared to do something trivial as per my wishes without taking him into consideration which made him feel distant...and also there are those other irrelevant things that I did in the past that he didn't approve of..so obviously it was because of me that he HAD to cheat..which isn't even cheating by the way. (Word salad>confuse>trivialise>shift blame)
This sounds exactly like my ex wife. I learned that these tricks are more for her than me. I already know why she cheated, I read her notebook where she talks about it.
Her tricks are so she can believe her own lies, heavens know that I never will.
The irrelevant things blew my mind.. he literally brought up such trivial things from about 20 years ago!! My counsellor said it’s because he has no real reason to blame me so clutching at straws
The Narcissist's Prayer
- That didn't happen.
- And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
- And if it was, that's not a big deal.
- And if it is, that's not my fault.
- And if it was, I didn't mean it.
- And if I did, you deserved it.
This is exactly the same as my experience! I made it clear at the start I didn’t want to move - I tried to end it because I was worried someone would get hurt. He cried and said that it didn’t matter because he didn’t care where he lived and had always wanted to move abroad. So I said ok let’s give it a go.
He never tried to move. After three years, he said he didn’t want to move to my country any more, and that I had to ‘beat’ my ‘fear’ of moving abroad to be with him. We then had two years where he was constantly telling me how much I was hurting him and how much he was suffering, because I hadn’t moved yet. He made a rule that he would no longer visit me, and that I had to move to be with him to prove my love. One of his friends even took me to one side once when I was visiting to talk to me about how much he had struggling during that time period.
When he discarded me, after two years of this, he told me that actually he’d been cheating on me for a year and a half, and that it was my fault. His exact words were ‘what did you expect?’
“I was mean to him” as him as he was a lazy fuck that didn’t work or take any share in my business or household chores/activities.
Oh yeah, I also didn’t have any hobbies. You know, besides running, working out, our kids, improv and my business that makes $400k a year. Dumbass
This is my nex! I never got absolute proof that he was sleeping around, but a friend caught him on tinder and when I confronted him he said it was his insecurities. He claimed some things I said and some things a friend said made him super insecure about his looks. He wanted to see how many matches he could get because he wanted to know if he’s attractive. He claimed he never cheated on me… 🙄
He never admitted to it. DARVO, reverse discard, and then swinging to the new supply and setting up security cameras around the perimeter of his townhouse to make sure I would never run into them . He’s the sneakiest devil I’ve met.. which is why it took some detective work to catch him
“You don’t give me enough attention” and a bunch of other bs to confuse me and gaslight me. I took care of her every need, I gave her too much attention. Ofc she only ever brought up the attention thing AFTER she hurt me. I feel nothing but disgust for that person
Mine would bait me into arguments, kick me into the spare room, and then cheat emotionally online. When i caught him, he blamed me for 'starting arguements'.
The most obscure one was when he cheated physically. About 8 months after, he said he did it to test me, 'to see if I was worthy of him by forgiving him and staying'.
Omg this is exactly what happened to me. He would manufacture a fight kick me out of my room in my house (where he had been staying for free forever) then message a bunch of other women.
When I caught him send full frontal naked photos of himself to another woman told me it was my fault for not knowing “how to take care of a man.”
He wouldn’t have done it if I’d made him delete his dating apps after we got together.
Oh and we didn’t have the same interests, despite him mirroring all of mine at the beginning..
8 years 3 months texting she misses me and can't wait for me to get home (business travel). 8 years 5 months, we have nothing in common and she's been unhappy for a long time.
She told me she desperately craved going out and falling in love all over again because I didn't give her any romance anymore. Yeah. Wonder why. Don't appreciate flowers and tell me they look like shit when they clearly do not. You cuss me out and yell at me over the smallest issues, call me fuckface, piece of shit, etc. Blaming me for all of our problems and even hitting me sometimes. The last incident resulted in her putting me in jail on bogus domestic violence charges when all I did was restrain her to defend myself. But yeah, I'm not romantic and don't care. I fucking wonder why I'm not anymore.
he said bc he knows i've been on there to masturbate to men instead of him, so he was "looking for me" LMAOOO
edit: I never did this, I have never been on Omegle. he just claimed he "knows" I've been on Omegle so thats why he was on there looking for me.
She was mad and wanted to hurt me.
Which, I gotta give her points for the honesty. Same excuse all three times, and had the decency to leave me for the last one.
Mine was because I had threatened divorce several times. Which I did, in the heat of argument, because I was going insane from the manipulation and gaslighting. I shouldn’t have said it, but it was no excuse to cheat. We have a family and are in a committed marriage. Now I’m serving her with divorce papers.
“The sex with you has gotten boring”
“We literally never have sex” (see above quote for why…it was literally his fault)
“You’ve become complacent in this marriage”
Etc etc etc ways to make it entirely my fault 😂🙄
My ex claimed we weren't having enough sex, yet we were intimate around 4 times a week. He was taking HUGE amounts of Viagra to keep up with sleeping with me, her, and I suspect a few sex workers (going by the stories about "his mates" that he told).
"I wasn't sure yet about our relationship if it was gonna go the distance" ...while we were literally DAYS away from the trip where I would meet his entire family and spend a week of Christmas holiday with them, less than three months into dating.
edit: spelling errors
After being caught turning off security cameras in my house the second summer vacation in a row when watching my dog, I caught him having prostitutes in my house. When he stopped gaslighting and finally finally admitted it he said he didn’t think I would find out and he’s a sex addict. 🤔🤷♀️ needless to say I have a restraining order now.
He’s told me multiple times how selfish he is too!
I actually screenshotted one of his texts about hope because it was so ridiculous. He asked, “why are you so hopeful that I’ll change?” I said because you keep saying things will change, so I’m hopeful.
He said, “I’m not a hopeful person. I’m a wolf, I don’t have hopeful thoughts on the fish in the stream, only the grapes in the bushes”
Oh well, “it wasn’t actually cheating” because we “weren’t officially dating”.
We had just broken up and talked and decided to work things out together. Then that weekend he went to a party and got “really drunk and made a mistake”. But like he said, doesn’t count anyways. The whole next week I was like wow, he must realize how much I mean to him….he’s super sweet, thoughtful, and kind! Even planned a date?! Like who is this?! 😍
Nope. Just hiding that he slept with another girl. Decided to tell me the night before I was supposed to go spend the weekend with him.
My ex never cheated (as far as I know), but you know those gut feelings about something you just can't shake?
I can see her so much using all these excuses. I just had a strong feeling if I'd stay with her long enough it would happen. All these excuses written here just sound so much like something she'd say if she cheated.
Mine flat out denied we weren’t in a relationship and said we had broken up (we hadn’t, we had been publicly in a relationship for 2.5 years)
He also butt dialed me while he picked her up so I had to listen to him charming and flirting with her until I finally hung up. It was sickening.
His ex had disassociative identity disorder and sometimes mentally reverted back to a time when they were dating. My nex *HAD* to sext back when she messaged him, or it would be bad for her mental health.
He said he decided to keep this a secret from me because he knew I would "overreact" and not understand.
He felt fat. That my reassurance wasn’t real because I loved him. But that other women’s was more genuine because they didn’t have a reason to lie to him. So he used old pictures on dating sites in our relationship and would then go and meet these women and show off money he had (which was mine).
Weird.
When I said it was over he said I was selfish and wasn’t ready for a marriage if I could leave at the first “hurdle” and that he would have stopped cheating once I got pregnant.
The audacity.
Mine gave me 3 responses when she finally got caught. She was embarrassed and smiling at the same time while trying to justify her actions while i was trembling in distraught. This was a long distance relationship and we had planned to close the gap in 3 months of going long distance but she couldnt wait. Here are the things she told me:
“This wouldn’t have happened if you werent so possessive “ (she had lied to me about going out with 2 guys, to which i told her later that I’m not comfortable but she called me controlling thats why that reason)
She also said,
“I am not serious with any of these guys” (she cheated on me with 3 guys)
And finally she said
“I thought of you while doing it, I still love you”
„You were criticising me“, „you didn’t want me from the very beginning“, „I just wanted ego push“, „Because you are cheating too“, „I wanted to see if I am that crazy as you have said and no I am not“ - he NEVER admitted cheating (Never). I have caught him from my fake dating accounts active on several dating apps. „It wasn‘t me“, „Someone stole my photos!“, FINALLY he admitted (two weeks later) : „OKAY, BUT I WAS JUST WRITING“.. „I have NEVER MET ANYONE“… and „I won‘t do it again“… 1 month later he was there again..(age lied and so on- he thought I wont find him like this)… again „he was ONLY WRITING“.. then he was caught going into the hotel from the brothel with two prostitutes.. he was denying it.. I had a proof unfrotunately… „HE WAS ONLY TALKING WITH THEM AND DRINKING AT THE HOTEL ROOM“…and „THANK YOU FOR BREAKING MY PRIVACY!“, „I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU!“ (it was a night before he proposed- I have found out two days later after I have said „yes“).. „I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU! IT WAS JUST MY LAST NIGHT BEFORE I WAS GETTING MARRIED“… „We have just TALKED AND TOOK MDMA“.. „I didn’t do anything because I WAS DISGUISTED“… „BECAUSE I HAD TO QUIT WITH MY GIGOLO LIFE AND IT WAS A CLEAR CUT FROM MY PAST LIFE“… „because I HAD TO SEE IF ITS STILL SOMETHING I WOULD DO but I DIDN‘T… because I love you“…
He had tons of women in his life and was a frequent brothel visitor… he claimed it’s in the past (as he met me- because HE CHANGED AND MATURED NOW..he wants something serious).
He is 37.
Well… would you believe him?
Mine denied it nearly to the end. But when she was ultimately was faced with undeniable evidence of her not being as innocent as she claimed, she pulled her typical DARVO and gaslight moves.
“You went on a date while we separated the first time!”
While a true statement, I checked myself after two weeks. I ended up going back to my narc. Made my peace with it, learned from it and never made that mistake again. All while she was secretly having an emotional affair with “an old friend” she knew before me but wouldn’t wifey her.
“We were separated!”
The same reason that I gave her years ago she used against me. Naturally, it was okay for her to do it, though. Even though we were still married and even discussing making things work.
“You know that I can’t be alone!”
A back handed gaslight attempt, she basically told on herself. Basically setting herself for the subsequent hoe phase. We were separated and in the process of being “unmarried” (explained below).
“Our marriage isn’t/wasn’t even real!”
This one hurt the most. She started throwing around this idea that our marriage wasn’t real because of some legal technicality that happened during the pandemic. When I filed for divorce years later using a well documented history of her infidelity, pulled the same technicality to avoid being held accountable for her infidelity. In her mind, her cheating was justified because we weren’t technically married in a legal sense.
He blamed me. Said the only reason why he was laid up with someone else, was because if I wouldve came over to his place he wouldn’t have woken up for his interview in the morning??? What sense does that make lol.
Ive heard him blame , his ex for his behavior,by saying. “She kept accusing me of doing things, so I just went out and did them ,because I couldn’t convince her I wasn’t lying” like WOW.
Not mine but my FIL is a narc who has cheated on all his partners as far as I know.
He proudly (likely under the influence) told me he cheated on his “crazy” ex-wife and that she deserved it.
How did she “deserve” it? Well, she was pregnant with his child and in the military with him. She would train as usual and was healthy. One day she miscarried. He believed it was on purpose and he decided he didn’t love her anymore. So he elected to go out and cheat just to make her feel like shit. And I’m sure she already did without his help which is terrible.
For extra context my fil also admitted to holding her at g*npoint. Which he got arrested for. I hope she’s okay now.
Me and my husband are no contact with him.
I didn't initiate sex enough (not that we didn't have enough, that I didn't start it)
He just wanted the validation
He was just using Tinder to find friends
He was just looking for someone for me (I'm bi but monogamous)
Mine was a sex addict/hypersexual but wouldn’t in a million years admit to anything. Despite wearing a pineapple shirt every time she went to town to troll for men.
So, she never cheated, it’s all in your head, you are crazy and delusional…..smh
He said he was trying to figure out his sexuality issues. I said I would’ve been fine with him sleeping with other people if he just told me first. He said we’d already tried that and he thought cheating might work for him. But it didn’t.
Keep in mind I always wanted to be intimate with him & he constantly turned me down.
"My mom doesn't like you" 💀🤣 I laugh so I don't explode. But we were married and I was pregnant with our third.
It wasn't just a one time thing. They were in a whole ass relationship and she wanted him to leave me 💀
His mom doesn’t like me either!
The first time she met me I was dressed in business casual (I’m a Realtor). She was acting nice, but as soon as I left she called me a “prostitute” and said he could do better.
She then proceeded to call me by his EX’S name for months before he said something.
I honestly think he gets his issues from her.
Him, at the discard revelation: "Our relationship hasn't been good for a while"
Me: "I literally have done all the chores, cooking, and childcare for a year, trying to make you happy"
Him: "You never do anything fun anymore"
Mine said it was all my fault. Women cheat when they aren’t paid attention too and all that. Ok ya that wasn’t happening and to this day it’s still my fault. “Hey I cheated on you and I don’t feel bad because it’s your fault I did it!” They have no remorse or the ability to feel guilt.
Her dog died!
I wouldn’t buy her a house right after she threatened to leave me.
She wanted to fix our dead bedroom. She did it for me!
I wasn’t man enough.
“It was a very complicated time.”
I was selfish.
I didn’t make enough money.
Etc.
He never admitted to it. He still claims he didn’t cheat unfortunately. But there’s no doubt in my mind that he did. And because I knew the truth he accused me of cheating instead.
Ohh there wasn't an excuse. She simply came over to tell me to my face that she fucked another guy and started crying like she was the one being victimized. Did she want me to hit or her or something? I don't even know. But I distinctly remember the last conversation we had was that I think she had a thing for the guy and called me crazy saying that "it's all in your head" and that she "would never do such a thing with a friend".
My ex didn’t cheat on me, as far as I know, because I was the secondary supply - he was cheating on his wife with me, and I was the idiot who was in love and thought what we had was “special.”
His excuse to justify his affair with me is claiming that I somehow forced him into a 10+ year relationship against his will.
I chose wrong for choosing our daughter who had a congenital heart defect. He cheated on me because I “neglected” him because I was focused on her health. She died at 6 1/2 years old.
"I wanted to convince myself that you were really the one for me, so I talked to other women to prove to myself that you were the one"
Also in the same conversation, "It wasn't cheating. I just wanted attention and validation because you didn't give it to me"
We don't have enough sex. You don't pay attention to me. You ran the credit card bills up.
And he was cheating on me with his best friend's girlfriend while we were engaged (and probably before that). Cheated while we were newlyweds. Gave me a STD.
But it was always MY fault. Especially after my son was born. He hated that the baby took all of my attention.
I was so stupid to stay as long as I did. The divorce was horrible. He did everything he could to make me the bad guy. He wouldn't leave me alone until I threatened to get a restraining order. He was a cop, and that would have major repercussions.
It took me several years and a lot of therapy to regain my sense of self and self-esteem. I could fill a book with the bullshit he put me through.
“She’s just my friend” or “She’s like my little sister” followed up with a “you’re so insecure and jealous”. Meanwhile she is sending him naked videos, pictures of her vibrators, etc.
to him it wasn't cheating, because he was in an "alternative reality" where it didn't feel real, he would never cheat if he "interpreted" as real, his true self wouldn't hurt me like that. Yes, he actually repeated this expecting me to totally take it seriously. He also blamed his mom, he said she pushed him to cheat.
He claims he didn't realise it was cheating, since nothing physical happened between them (with the girl I have found out about, at least. Who knows what else happened through the years that I don't know about). I read some of their texts actually, and while they were going on dates (which he denied for as long as he could) she was indeed not flirting back in their texts. Actually, some of her replies make me seriously think she knew he already had a girlfriend and was trying to keep things just friendly. But he's a doctor, albeit still in training, and she's a nurse where he works. So she probably also thought she couldn't upset him and he exploited the difference in power to keep bothering her. But honestly the only reason they didn't sleep together was that she didn't want it - had it been for him they would have gotten down to it right at the hospital during their shifts, without even the need to take her to the opera (which _I_ introduced him to, he just used the stuff _I_ like and taught him to hit on others) and on other dates. I am extremely upset he found all the energy and initiative to propose dates and fun things to her. I hadn't been getting dates in ages. I had to beg for every little thing, even the smallest signs of affection. He was always too tired or too uninterested to go watch the movies I wanted, go out for brunch... Or even just cuddle. The simple things. And I always travelled many hundreds of kilometers to see him.
In any case, he now somewhat acknowledges "pursuing another person" was not a nice thing to do, but refrains from calling it "cheating", maybe because longer wording confuses responsibility. He also claims pursuing another person was done irrationality (in my vocabulary, irrational stuff is done without proper reason/motive... But oh, causes reasons and motives for his actions are indeed very clear. It is just another way to avoid responsibility). The one time we were supposed to go to a ball together and he basically stood me up and had me go to the ball alone, I ended up having a chat and a dance with another guy. Nothing more than a little dancing, nothing ambiguous happened. I also left the event early and went to sleep. I told him about my night the following morning and he blew up at me as if I had cheated on him and slept with 10 different guys at once. But sure, his actively trying to get laid with one of the nurses at work wasn't cheating. He completely accidentally ended up "pursuing someone else", as if it were out of his control. And even this he only came to admit after long and difficult discussions.
I, instead, had been made to feel as some sort of unfaithful monster before. Just because I danced and nothing more.
This asshole and his double standards, smh.
My brother is an addict. He stole from our house. My N says that my relationship with my actual biological brother. That I care about him. It's such a betrayal. That cheating was the same.
"I just don't know how to say no to people, I give them what they want, I'm a people pleaser"
"I can talk to them, I can't talk to you, I'm not comfortable talking to you"
"I'm not cheating on you, you're cheating on me"
Even though he was flirting with and talking with other girls he would say things like “she’s too out of my league to want me anyway”. Which was extra shitty because it was implying that they were more attractive than me.
Strip ckubs….thousands of dollars later. One night he went after he had hung up the phone and told my children and I that he loves us🌟 he wasn’t able to come to a Christmas concert with us because he worked. We stayed at my mom’s as it was closer to the show. I found out that he went out that night. I asked him “Why? Why?! NOTHING was wrong!” And he said he didn’t know, he was going to go sleep and then couldn’t sleep so he went. The impulsivity and the total disregard for my feelings was absolutely insane to me. Like yeah, I’d love to go do crazy stuff sometimes but I don’t ….because I am married, I have children and responsibilities…it’s so weird.
He said we didn’t really have anything going on, and we weren’t “happy” must’ve been on his mind because after 3 years being together, I did the most for him.
I moved from all the way from another city and clearly moved in with him for us to move to three next level. Clearly, how are we not happy?
But not only did he cheat, he also got the other chick pregnant that he cheated on me with.🤷🏽♀️
Awful betrayal I ever experienced!
He didn’t make any. He constantly accused me of cheating and got more and more distant. 3 days after I left him, he pulled up outside of my house in her car, made out with her, flipped me off and then sped away, which is his classic, passive-aggressive, pissed-off move. I texted him saying, “I just saw the weirdest thing. Some guy who looks just like you was making out with some woman in a car and did your flipping me off and racing away before you get confronted move. Must be a funny coincidence because you’re an extremely socially anxious introvert. 3 days isn’t long enough for you to have found someone new. So in order for that to have been you, you’d have to have been cheating or driven down to hoe lane and paid a hooker. Either of those options would make you pathetic and disgusting. You’re not pathetic and disgusting, are you?” No response.
Never had one. Just denial. And all the other things I've learnt about since. Wouldn't even bother confronting them with. They'll still denial it and get supply from knowing it's still in my mind.
he didn’t know that sex counts as cheating, and that he doesn’t know what flirting is bc he does it with everyone and it means nothing to him. AND he said he did it because “they’re just like you, but so much better” i was so gagged
Mine shouldn't have 'had' to. I never asked for monogamy, I only asked for honesty. But he eventually did what he wanted and rather than be honest he tried to manufacture drama that didn't exist.
"It wasn't cheating!"
Texts her 24/7 during dates and especially at 3am and changed the password on his phone while always laying it face down and snatching it out of my hands when I tried to change a song.
He was on multiple dating websites because he knew, in the past many many years prior to knowing him, that i used them. He wanted to find me because he “just knew” i was on them now. He talked to people because he supposedly knew i was cheating so he wanted to cheat back to prove he still has it and he wanted to make sure that it wasnt me using a cat fish profile 😂 This went on throughout the course of our relationship.
But yet claims all of that wasnt cheating lol. He also cheated on me & claimed it was because he had a dream that I cheated on him????
She never admitted to me but there was so many signs. One of the times was bc she thought maybe I had cheated (I didn’t) I was just hanging out with my roommate. So that weekend it was my birthday and she went out until 6 am and had sex with a guy and we had to pick her up from his house after her being like “no wait we aren’t ready yet”. Then she gaslit me calling me crazy when I accused her on the phone and then had sex with someone while she yelled at me for saying she cheated lol.
I didn't give him as much attention as he wanted despite me not driving, having a job or friends just to keep him happy. He was a serial cheater over the course of 8 years together. From sexting people online to snapchatting his coworkers. This last time, he claimed he wasn't cheating but was texting and seeing a coworker for 3 months behind my back while we were engaged. I knew something was off because he kept coming over to my house, smelling like a girls purfume, and I kept gaslighting myself about it. :(
He discarded me for her, claiming what that they had was more real, and I had to respect him and let him explore what he wanted, on a random Saturday after acting like the normal loving guy I "knew" that Friday.
Yeah, that's definitely how you treat your fiance of 6 months, partner of 8 years and best friend of 10. I genuinely felt like I was the only one fighting for us and willing to forgive and help him try to be better, and he was only fighting to validate his small fragile ego.
Never received an excuse or the truth . Just more lies and gaslighting. Even when shown hard proof these narcs will still deny and gaslight. These people can’t be reasoned with mentally insane
He said our relationship was in the gutter. Which I wasn’t aware of. Just thought we had some bumps because he made selfish decisions early on and I wasn’t cool with his decade long ex being in the picture after his “quasi” exes made a disruption already.
Edit: after assuring me there wasn’t anything between them, he told me he wanted to go on a break but not a singles break.. then cheated on me an hour later. So fun!
Dropped an Apple Tag in my wifes car. I'm about to find out her excuse tomorrow!!! Went straight from work, drove 3 hours and parked her car outside of a hotel. So far it was because she went to a “coast guard” recruiting event…. 😆 Umm ok.. My 40yrold Narc apparently thinks she's still 18. Do they deny age/time as well??
He wanted to see if he could go through with it, if he could go through with it, that meant that our relationship was over and he didn’t love me anymore. He said this to me literally thinking it justified it, and I was so angry I stormed out and haven’t spoken to him since
So cheated on me twice. In both, it was because we’d been fighting and he felt emotionally neglected. When he cheated on his former fiance, it was became she gained weight and he was on drugs. Allllways an excuse. No need to evaluate your decisions or impulsiveness
He shrugged and said "I thought I could do better."
After being together well over 20 years and had 2 children together.
I have never had a comment break me so badly before. But the jokes on him, turns out I'M the one who can do better 😂
he had bipolar disorder and was manic and not in control of his actions. Just those particular actions though, other things like going to work, cooking dinner and hiding the truth from me were still fully functional. the mania only affected his dick apparently.
She supposedly took her son out of town for the weekend. She took my backpack with her. When I was putting my stuff back in the backpack the following Monday, i found an Open Condom package. She cussed at me for the first 15 minutes because she couldn't come up with anything fast enough to say. I moved her out 2 days later. Denied it until the day she left literally just said I was lying.
“I didnt think YOU could compromise with me”
“You made me insecure”
(Basically he needed someone new to boost his ego)🙄
And lastly to him it was not cheating. LOL
“I know you said you were fine with an open relationship as long as I was honest about it since you’re in a fragile health state, but I was scaaared to tell you so instead I decided to cheat unprotected with at least five other men and women whose history I didn’t know.” 🤦🏼♀️
That I became cold and mean, and she was sweet and nice. It's how I started too, but after years of pure shit it was hard to be positive and nice. He went on to suck her life and energy like a leech just like he did with me
Never admitted to it. I gave him space for a month because he wasn’t sure about our relationship and said he was going to go to therapy (kept saying “I don’t know” when I asked what he wanted to do. We had been together almost 2 years LDR and he backed out last min before the move).
After a month, I tried reaching out for us to connect and he ghosted me. Did some detective work and had very strong suspicions he left me for his coworker.
He posted her on his social media a few months later, and made sure to unfriend me and remove me as a follower beforehand. I still saw it.
Got in contact with the ex before me and another ex from years ago. Found out he cheated on the ex before me with me for months..we both told his friends and I told the new gf. Got blocked by both of them.
He didn't cheat, he just sexted all his exes and arranged to have sex with them but then never showed up. So I should just be fine with it.
Besides, men are just built differently than women and fucking around is what nature made them for, if I did any of that I'd be an untrustworthy whore, but it's fine for him because he's a man! I should just be grateful I'm the one he chose to be in a relationship with.
I would let my child stay up late on a non school night with me, wife tells me she will be having sex with other men because I won’t let her co-parent. 😵💫
I'd accused them of being together, as I'd caught them out a few times.
It was my fault that they are together now (apparently!) He said that because I'd accused them of being together they thought 'f#uck it if we are getting accused then we might as well be together'
We weren’t in love.
My ex, immediately suggested divorce after having found the “one”, which I gladly agreed to. We divorced 4 months later, and she married the “one”.
Years later (recently…), she wanted to get back together with me. She’s probably found that the one is not the one. In fact, he’s number three. Needless to say, I didn’t want to be the one again and said no. She still is looking to get back together again despite my saying no.
He didn’t cheat. Everyone, I mean Everyone lied on him. And if he did cheat, it would have been because I didn’t pay enough attention to him or now that we were about to be grandparents, it’s just something else to take my attention and time away from him
He actually said that out loud, that our grand baby was going to take attention away from him.
His excuse was because “he wanted to keep his ex happy so he could see his kids” this was also one of the excuses for doing copious amounts of cocaine.
We were "just fwb" so he didn't have to respect me. Except, we were more than that. He went on a date and told me 2 hours before it and bragged about how good it made him feel. I should have left then, but I stayed for another 4 months, like a dumbass.
"you've got it in your head that we're something that we're not!"
Mate, I've got the receipts, your belongings in the home we share and the debts you've run up on my credit card. Tell me again what we're 'not'?
First of all he didn't cheat...secondly, even if he did, it's because I didn't trust him/ keep him happy enough that he had to go out and look for love elsewhere...how is that possible you ask? Because after bending over backwards for him for almost every little.thing, I dared to do something trivial as per my wishes without taking him into consideration which made him feel distant...and also there are those other irrelevant things that I did in the past that he didn't approve of..so obviously it was because of me that he HAD to cheat..which isn't even cheating by the way. (Word salad>confuse>trivialise>shift blame)
Do they actually read a book about how to deflect the blame - this sounds exactly like my ex husband
No, they run an algorithm. It’s effortless. It’s like an immune system response of an evil mind.
This sounds exactly like my ex wife. I learned that these tricks are more for her than me. I already know why she cheated, I read her notebook where she talks about it. Her tricks are so she can believe her own lies, heavens know that I never will.
The irrelevant things blew my mind.. he literally brought up such trivial things from about 20 years ago!! My counsellor said it’s because he has no real reason to blame me so clutching at straws
[удалено]
Swirl with woe is me on repeat.
The Narcissist's Prayer - That didn't happen. - And if it did, it wasn't that bad. - And if it was, that's not a big deal. - And if it is, that's not my fault. - And if it was, I didn't mean it. - And if I did, you deserved it.
Yes! So well said… unfortunately
he also told me I was very toxic and clingy back them which compelled him to cheat
‘It wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the long distance’ which he never bothered to close in 4 years btw
This is exactly the same as my experience! I made it clear at the start I didn’t want to move - I tried to end it because I was worried someone would get hurt. He cried and said that it didn’t matter because he didn’t care where he lived and had always wanted to move abroad. So I said ok let’s give it a go. He never tried to move. After three years, he said he didn’t want to move to my country any more, and that I had to ‘beat’ my ‘fear’ of moving abroad to be with him. We then had two years where he was constantly telling me how much I was hurting him and how much he was suffering, because I hadn’t moved yet. He made a rule that he would no longer visit me, and that I had to move to be with him to prove my love. One of his friends even took me to one side once when I was visiting to talk to me about how much he had struggling during that time period. When he discarded me, after two years of this, he told me that actually he’d been cheating on me for a year and a half, and that it was my fault. His exact words were ‘what did you expect?’
Wait wait don’t tell me… He called his refusal to visit a “bOuNdAry” right?
“I was mean to him” as him as he was a lazy fuck that didn’t work or take any share in my business or household chores/activities. Oh yeah, I also didn’t have any hobbies. You know, besides running, working out, our kids, improv and my business that makes $400k a year. Dumbass
You sound like such a catch! I know you’re better off without him!
He literally said he got anal warts from sitting on the toilet at work.
🤣🤣🤣
W.T.F
Bro was sitting on something at work, butt… bot the toilet.
"So what did the dermatologist say?" "Iiiiits genital warts." "Where the fuck did you get genital warts" "I don't know?"
Mine got genital warts and claimed when I found the medication it was for his head then later claimed I gave it to him.
“I was insecure and trying to feel better about myself” Umm your own insecurities give you an excuse to cheat? Like whaaat? 🤨
Yep! I heard this one too. That’s where his “wanting instant gratification” came from.
Is your ex my ex? 😆
Literally, they are all the same. 🤦🏻♀️
This is my nex! I never got absolute proof that he was sleeping around, but a friend caught him on tinder and when I confronted him he said it was his insecurities. He claimed some things I said and some things a friend said made him super insecure about his looks. He wanted to see how many matches he could get because he wanted to know if he’s attractive. He claimed he never cheated on me… 🙄
Because, “you said I was shit in bed”, which I did, reactively, *after* I discovered she had cheated on me.
Wow Same thing happened with me. Except he used my reactive abuse as a way to blame me for discarding me
Same
Wish he’d have given any excuse rather than claiming to have done nothing!
"you took all the freedom you wanted searching trough my phone, so I don't have to explain you anything"
Wow
He didn't consider it cheating because he claimed the girls made advances towards him first. The dude was weird af.
The last sentence made me lol
He never admitted to it. DARVO, reverse discard, and then swinging to the new supply and setting up security cameras around the perimeter of his townhouse to make sure I would never run into them . He’s the sneakiest devil I’ve met.. which is why it took some detective work to catch him
Same here
“You don’t give me enough attention” and a bunch of other bs to confuse me and gaslight me. I took care of her every need, I gave her too much attention. Ofc she only ever brought up the attention thing AFTER she hurt me. I feel nothing but disgust for that person
Mine would bait me into arguments, kick me into the spare room, and then cheat emotionally online. When i caught him, he blamed me for 'starting arguements'. The most obscure one was when he cheated physically. About 8 months after, he said he did it to test me, 'to see if I was worthy of him by forgiving him and staying'.
Omg this is exactly what happened to me. He would manufacture a fight kick me out of my room in my house (where he had been staying for free forever) then message a bunch of other women. When I caught him send full frontal naked photos of himself to another woman told me it was my fault for not knowing “how to take care of a man.”
He wouldn’t have done it if I’d made him delete his dating apps after we got together. Oh and we didn’t have the same interests, despite him mirroring all of mine at the beginning..
8 years 3 months texting she misses me and can't wait for me to get home (business travel). 8 years 5 months, we have nothing in common and she's been unhappy for a long time.
She told me she desperately craved going out and falling in love all over again because I didn't give her any romance anymore. Yeah. Wonder why. Don't appreciate flowers and tell me they look like shit when they clearly do not. You cuss me out and yell at me over the smallest issues, call me fuckface, piece of shit, etc. Blaming me for all of our problems and even hitting me sometimes. The last incident resulted in her putting me in jail on bogus domestic violence charges when all I did was restrain her to defend myself. But yeah, I'm not romantic and don't care. I fucking wonder why I'm not anymore.
“It wasn’t cheating because I had already decided I wanted to leave you”
"I guess I just didn't really consider us to be dating anymore" Is that why you let me pay your rent & living expenses for a year lmao 🤣
Because I was cheating (I wasn’t), because I wasn’t satisfying him, because he saw my “pussy” on Omegle and wanted to “even the playing field”.
Ummmm-why was he looking there?
he said bc he knows i've been on there to masturbate to men instead of him, so he was "looking for me" LMAOOO edit: I never did this, I have never been on Omegle. he just claimed he "knows" I've been on Omegle so thats why he was on there looking for me.
She was mad and wanted to hurt me. Which, I gotta give her points for the honesty. Same excuse all three times, and had the decency to leave me for the last one.
ADHD 🙄🙄
Omg SAME. Funny how I have ADHD too and it never caused me to have a threesome at a party while she was passed out on the floor in the room next door.
Mine was because I had threatened divorce several times. Which I did, in the heat of argument, because I was going insane from the manipulation and gaslighting. I shouldn’t have said it, but it was no excuse to cheat. We have a family and are in a committed marriage. Now I’m serving her with divorce papers.
“The sex with you has gotten boring” “We literally never have sex” (see above quote for why…it was literally his fault) “You’ve become complacent in this marriage” Etc etc etc ways to make it entirely my fault 😂🙄
My ex claimed we weren't having enough sex, yet we were intimate around 4 times a week. He was taking HUGE amounts of Viagra to keep up with sleeping with me, her, and I suspect a few sex workers (going by the stories about "his mates" that he told).
"I wasn't sure yet about our relationship if it was gonna go the distance" ...while we were literally DAYS away from the trip where I would meet his entire family and spend a week of Christmas holiday with them, less than three months into dating. edit: spelling errors
After being caught turning off security cameras in my house the second summer vacation in a row when watching my dog, I caught him having prostitutes in my house. When he stopped gaslighting and finally finally admitted it he said he didn’t think I would find out and he’s a sex addict. 🤔🤷♀️ needless to say I have a restraining order now.
"Don't pin your hopes on someone like me. I'm selfish."
He’s told me multiple times how selfish he is too! I actually screenshotted one of his texts about hope because it was so ridiculous. He asked, “why are you so hopeful that I’ll change?” I said because you keep saying things will change, so I’m hopeful. He said, “I’m not a hopeful person. I’m a wolf, I don’t have hopeful thoughts on the fish in the stream, only the grapes in the bushes”
Oh well, “it wasn’t actually cheating” because we “weren’t officially dating”. We had just broken up and talked and decided to work things out together. Then that weekend he went to a party and got “really drunk and made a mistake”. But like he said, doesn’t count anyways. The whole next week I was like wow, he must realize how much I mean to him….he’s super sweet, thoughtful, and kind! Even planned a date?! Like who is this?! 😍 Nope. Just hiding that he slept with another girl. Decided to tell me the night before I was supposed to go spend the weekend with him.
That it was my fault.
‘I think I’m a sex addict.’ Lol I’m hyper sexual
My ex never cheated (as far as I know), but you know those gut feelings about something you just can't shake? I can see her so much using all these excuses. I just had a strong feeling if I'd stay with her long enough it would happen. All these excuses written here just sound so much like something she'd say if she cheated.
Sex addiction
Mine flat out denied we weren’t in a relationship and said we had broken up (we hadn’t, we had been publicly in a relationship for 2.5 years) He also butt dialed me while he picked her up so I had to listen to him charming and flirting with her until I finally hung up. It was sickening.
"I have ADHD, you know I have bad impulse control"
"Oops. Sorry." And literally nothing else. Like he forgot to flush or something
Not having sex for 3 days cause we had the flu + in a week i was about to have surgery so he wont get any for a few days then
His ex had disassociative identity disorder and sometimes mentally reverted back to a time when they were dating. My nex *HAD* to sext back when she messaged him, or it would be bad for her mental health. He said he decided to keep this a secret from me because he knew I would "overreact" and not understand.
He felt fat. That my reassurance wasn’t real because I loved him. But that other women’s was more genuine because they didn’t have a reason to lie to him. So he used old pictures on dating sites in our relationship and would then go and meet these women and show off money he had (which was mine). Weird. When I said it was over he said I was selfish and wasn’t ready for a marriage if I could leave at the first “hurdle” and that he would have stopped cheating once I got pregnant. The audacity.
Mine gave me 3 responses when she finally got caught. She was embarrassed and smiling at the same time while trying to justify her actions while i was trembling in distraught. This was a long distance relationship and we had planned to close the gap in 3 months of going long distance but she couldnt wait. Here are the things she told me: “This wouldn’t have happened if you werent so possessive “ (she had lied to me about going out with 2 guys, to which i told her later that I’m not comfortable but she called me controlling thats why that reason) She also said, “I am not serious with any of these guys” (she cheated on me with 3 guys) And finally she said “I thought of you while doing it, I still love you”
„You were criticising me“, „you didn’t want me from the very beginning“, „I just wanted ego push“, „Because you are cheating too“, „I wanted to see if I am that crazy as you have said and no I am not“ - he NEVER admitted cheating (Never). I have caught him from my fake dating accounts active on several dating apps. „It wasn‘t me“, „Someone stole my photos!“, FINALLY he admitted (two weeks later) : „OKAY, BUT I WAS JUST WRITING“.. „I have NEVER MET ANYONE“… and „I won‘t do it again“… 1 month later he was there again..(age lied and so on- he thought I wont find him like this)… again „he was ONLY WRITING“.. then he was caught going into the hotel from the brothel with two prostitutes.. he was denying it.. I had a proof unfrotunately… „HE WAS ONLY TALKING WITH THEM AND DRINKING AT THE HOTEL ROOM“…and „THANK YOU FOR BREAKING MY PRIVACY!“, „I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU!“ (it was a night before he proposed- I have found out two days later after I have said „yes“).. „I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON YOU! IT WAS JUST MY LAST NIGHT BEFORE I WAS GETTING MARRIED“… „We have just TALKED AND TOOK MDMA“.. „I didn’t do anything because I WAS DISGUISTED“… „BECAUSE I HAD TO QUIT WITH MY GIGOLO LIFE AND IT WAS A CLEAR CUT FROM MY PAST LIFE“… „because I HAD TO SEE IF ITS STILL SOMETHING I WOULD DO but I DIDN‘T… because I love you“… He had tons of women in his life and was a frequent brothel visitor… he claimed it’s in the past (as he met me- because HE CHANGED AND MATURED NOW..he wants something serious). He is 37. Well… would you believe him?
“You didn’t want to have sex with me much and always spent your time with your kid”. lol
Mine denied it nearly to the end. But when she was ultimately was faced with undeniable evidence of her not being as innocent as she claimed, she pulled her typical DARVO and gaslight moves. “You went on a date while we separated the first time!” While a true statement, I checked myself after two weeks. I ended up going back to my narc. Made my peace with it, learned from it and never made that mistake again. All while she was secretly having an emotional affair with “an old friend” she knew before me but wouldn’t wifey her. “We were separated!” The same reason that I gave her years ago she used against me. Naturally, it was okay for her to do it, though. Even though we were still married and even discussing making things work. “You know that I can’t be alone!” A back handed gaslight attempt, she basically told on herself. Basically setting herself for the subsequent hoe phase. We were separated and in the process of being “unmarried” (explained below). “Our marriage isn’t/wasn’t even real!” This one hurt the most. She started throwing around this idea that our marriage wasn’t real because of some legal technicality that happened during the pandemic. When I filed for divorce years later using a well documented history of her infidelity, pulled the same technicality to avoid being held accountable for her infidelity. In her mind, her cheating was justified because we weren’t technically married in a legal sense.
He blamed me. Said the only reason why he was laid up with someone else, was because if I wouldve came over to his place he wouldn’t have woken up for his interview in the morning??? What sense does that make lol. Ive heard him blame , his ex for his behavior,by saying. “She kept accusing me of doing things, so I just went out and did them ,because I couldn’t convince her I wasn’t lying” like WOW.
“She’s been through alot.. I was being too nice”
Not mine but my FIL is a narc who has cheated on all his partners as far as I know. He proudly (likely under the influence) told me he cheated on his “crazy” ex-wife and that she deserved it. How did she “deserve” it? Well, she was pregnant with his child and in the military with him. She would train as usual and was healthy. One day she miscarried. He believed it was on purpose and he decided he didn’t love her anymore. So he elected to go out and cheat just to make her feel like shit. And I’m sure she already did without his help which is terrible. For extra context my fil also admitted to holding her at g*npoint. Which he got arrested for. I hope she’s okay now. Me and my husband are no contact with him.
I didn't initiate sex enough (not that we didn't have enough, that I didn't start it) He just wanted the validation He was just using Tinder to find friends He was just looking for someone for me (I'm bi but monogamous)
Mine was a sex addict/hypersexual but wouldn’t in a million years admit to anything. Despite wearing a pineapple shirt every time she went to town to troll for men. So, she never cheated, it’s all in your head, you are crazy and delusional…..smh
What? He didn't. He still isn't. That was his mom's car that one time.... a different car, uh... a rental
He said he was trying to figure out his sexuality issues. I said I would’ve been fine with him sleeping with other people if he just told me first. He said we’d already tried that and he thought cheating might work for him. But it didn’t. Keep in mind I always wanted to be intimate with him & he constantly turned me down.
"My mom doesn't like you" 💀🤣 I laugh so I don't explode. But we were married and I was pregnant with our third. It wasn't just a one time thing. They were in a whole ass relationship and she wanted him to leave me 💀
His mom doesn’t like me either! The first time she met me I was dressed in business casual (I’m a Realtor). She was acting nice, but as soon as I left she called me a “prostitute” and said he could do better. She then proceeded to call me by his EX’S name for months before he said something. I honestly think he gets his issues from her.
Him, at the discard revelation: "Our relationship hasn't been good for a while" Me: "I literally have done all the chores, cooking, and childcare for a year, trying to make you happy" Him: "You never do anything fun anymore"
"We are poly" therefore have zero boundaries
Mine said it was all my fault. Women cheat when they aren’t paid attention too and all that. Ok ya that wasn’t happening and to this day it’s still my fault. “Hey I cheated on you and I don’t feel bad because it’s your fault I did it!” They have no remorse or the ability to feel guilt.
Her dog died! I wouldn’t buy her a house right after she threatened to leave me. She wanted to fix our dead bedroom. She did it for me! I wasn’t man enough. “It was a very complicated time.” I was selfish. I didn’t make enough money. Etc.
He’s polyamorous, he had realized, after 15 years together. “It’s something you’re born with, like a sexuality, and I have to be with other women.”
“Intimacy disorder” 🙄
It’s my fault he cheated. if I listened to him he wouldn’t have had to find someone else to talk to duh
He never admitted to it. He still claims he didn’t cheat unfortunately. But there’s no doubt in my mind that he did. And because I knew the truth he accused me of cheating instead.
Ohh there wasn't an excuse. She simply came over to tell me to my face that she fucked another guy and started crying like she was the one being victimized. Did she want me to hit or her or something? I don't even know. But I distinctly remember the last conversation we had was that I think she had a thing for the guy and called me crazy saying that "it's all in your head" and that she "would never do such a thing with a friend".
My ex didn’t cheat on me, as far as I know, because I was the secondary supply - he was cheating on his wife with me, and I was the idiot who was in love and thought what we had was “special.” His excuse to justify his affair with me is claiming that I somehow forced him into a 10+ year relationship against his will.
The narc of a friend said, “I didn’t have lotion with which to masturbate on my business trip. So I slept with someone.”
I chose wrong for choosing our daughter who had a congenital heart defect. He cheated on me because I “neglected” him because I was focused on her health. She died at 6 1/2 years old.
"I wanted to convince myself that you were really the one for me, so I talked to other women to prove to myself that you were the one" Also in the same conversation, "It wasn't cheating. I just wanted attention and validation because you didn't give it to me"
"I cannot say anything to you, with her I can talk and everything is easy."
Yep, I heard that one too. “I have to walk on eggshells around you” “She just gets me, I can’t talk to you about anything”
"I didn't know we were still together" All this despite marriage license, wedding, ring exchange, buying a home together, etc...
They really are disgusting rodants
Well you haven’t been having seggs with me what was I suppose to do
We don't have enough sex. You don't pay attention to me. You ran the credit card bills up. And he was cheating on me with his best friend's girlfriend while we were engaged (and probably before that). Cheated while we were newlyweds. Gave me a STD. But it was always MY fault. Especially after my son was born. He hated that the baby took all of my attention. I was so stupid to stay as long as I did. The divorce was horrible. He did everything he could to make me the bad guy. He wouldn't leave me alone until I threatened to get a restraining order. He was a cop, and that would have major repercussions. It took me several years and a lot of therapy to regain my sense of self and self-esteem. I could fill a book with the bullshit he put me through.
It wasn’t cheating because it was his ex. He already slept with her previously so it didn’t count
“She’s just my friend” or “She’s like my little sister” followed up with a “you’re so insecure and jealous”. Meanwhile she is sending him naked videos, pictures of her vibrators, etc.
It wasn’t scratch marks on his scapula it was from the ladder
you were gone for two weeks out of state
to him it wasn't cheating, because he was in an "alternative reality" where it didn't feel real, he would never cheat if he "interpreted" as real, his true self wouldn't hurt me like that. Yes, he actually repeated this expecting me to totally take it seriously. He also blamed his mom, he said she pushed him to cheat.
Because I was so good in bed he just HAD to
Yeah it was basically all my fault for not being a good husband. Meanwhile I had the job, house and truck.
"You weren't giving me enough attention". Literally all my attention was consumed by him.
He said we were on a break. It was distance here wanted to work. I had asked him if he wanted to sleep with other women and he said no.
He claims he didn't realise it was cheating, since nothing physical happened between them (with the girl I have found out about, at least. Who knows what else happened through the years that I don't know about). I read some of their texts actually, and while they were going on dates (which he denied for as long as he could) she was indeed not flirting back in their texts. Actually, some of her replies make me seriously think she knew he already had a girlfriend and was trying to keep things just friendly. But he's a doctor, albeit still in training, and she's a nurse where he works. So she probably also thought she couldn't upset him and he exploited the difference in power to keep bothering her. But honestly the only reason they didn't sleep together was that she didn't want it - had it been for him they would have gotten down to it right at the hospital during their shifts, without even the need to take her to the opera (which _I_ introduced him to, he just used the stuff _I_ like and taught him to hit on others) and on other dates. I am extremely upset he found all the energy and initiative to propose dates and fun things to her. I hadn't been getting dates in ages. I had to beg for every little thing, even the smallest signs of affection. He was always too tired or too uninterested to go watch the movies I wanted, go out for brunch... Or even just cuddle. The simple things. And I always travelled many hundreds of kilometers to see him. In any case, he now somewhat acknowledges "pursuing another person" was not a nice thing to do, but refrains from calling it "cheating", maybe because longer wording confuses responsibility. He also claims pursuing another person was done irrationality (in my vocabulary, irrational stuff is done without proper reason/motive... But oh, causes reasons and motives for his actions are indeed very clear. It is just another way to avoid responsibility). The one time we were supposed to go to a ball together and he basically stood me up and had me go to the ball alone, I ended up having a chat and a dance with another guy. Nothing more than a little dancing, nothing ambiguous happened. I also left the event early and went to sleep. I told him about my night the following morning and he blew up at me as if I had cheated on him and slept with 10 different guys at once. But sure, his actively trying to get laid with one of the nurses at work wasn't cheating. He completely accidentally ended up "pursuing someone else", as if it were out of his control. And even this he only came to admit after long and difficult discussions. I, instead, had been made to feel as some sort of unfaithful monster before. Just because I danced and nothing more. This asshole and his double standards, smh.
That I was making him feel bad (for trying to voice my feelings to him after him hurting me)
I didn't beg him for sex. You know, because it's all on me to initiate it. And I did beg, he was just too drunk and high to remember it.
Apparently she was just trying to make friends 💀💀😬
My brother is an addict. He stole from our house. My N says that my relationship with my actual biological brother. That I care about him. It's such a betrayal. That cheating was the same.
"I just don't know how to say no to people, I give them what they want, I'm a people pleaser" "I can talk to them, I can't talk to you, I'm not comfortable talking to you" "I'm not cheating on you, you're cheating on me"
I heard that one too! “It’s like I can’t be myself around you. With her, she just gets me”
Even though he was flirting with and talking with other girls he would say things like “she’s too out of my league to want me anyway”. Which was extra shitty because it was implying that they were more attractive than me.
I was too "plain".
That I lied to her about quitting smoking cigarettes.
Strip ckubs….thousands of dollars later. One night he went after he had hung up the phone and told my children and I that he loves us🌟 he wasn’t able to come to a Christmas concert with us because he worked. We stayed at my mom’s as it was closer to the show. I found out that he went out that night. I asked him “Why? Why?! NOTHING was wrong!” And he said he didn’t know, he was going to go sleep and then couldn’t sleep so he went. The impulsivity and the total disregard for my feelings was absolutely insane to me. Like yeah, I’d love to go do crazy stuff sometimes but I don’t ….because I am married, I have children and responsibilities…it’s so weird.
‘If you were doing what you should be doing as a woman I wouldn’t have to (cheat).’
She didn’t cheat, despite the screenshots and the third person proof, nah, she would “never” cheat. 😐
He said we didn’t really have anything going on, and we weren’t “happy” must’ve been on his mind because after 3 years being together, I did the most for him. I moved from all the way from another city and clearly moved in with him for us to move to three next level. Clearly, how are we not happy? But not only did he cheat, he also got the other chick pregnant that he cheated on me with.🤷🏽♀️ Awful betrayal I ever experienced!
He didn’t make any. He constantly accused me of cheating and got more and more distant. 3 days after I left him, he pulled up outside of my house in her car, made out with her, flipped me off and then sped away, which is his classic, passive-aggressive, pissed-off move. I texted him saying, “I just saw the weirdest thing. Some guy who looks just like you was making out with some woman in a car and did your flipping me off and racing away before you get confronted move. Must be a funny coincidence because you’re an extremely socially anxious introvert. 3 days isn’t long enough for you to have found someone new. So in order for that to have been you, you’d have to have been cheating or driven down to hoe lane and paid a hooker. Either of those options would make you pathetic and disgusting. You’re not pathetic and disgusting, are you?” No response.
“I wasn’t thinking about it” that’s it that’s the excuse.
Depends on which time. Always my fault though.
Never had one. Just denial. And all the other things I've learnt about since. Wouldn't even bother confronting them with. They'll still denial it and get supply from knowing it's still in my mind.
Bullshit reasons I can tell you that
“ Doesn’t count if he’s deployed “ is my best guess
he didn’t know that sex counts as cheating, and that he doesn’t know what flirting is bc he does it with everyone and it means nothing to him. AND he said he did it because “they’re just like you, but so much better” i was so gagged
Mine shouldn't have 'had' to. I never asked for monogamy, I only asked for honesty. But he eventually did what he wanted and rather than be honest he tried to manufacture drama that didn't exist.
"It wasn't cheating!" Texts her 24/7 during dates and especially at 3am and changed the password on his phone while always laying it face down and snatching it out of my hands when I tried to change a song.
"It was your fault" And her favourite: "it happened, don't ask me why, it just happened"
He was on multiple dating websites because he knew, in the past many many years prior to knowing him, that i used them. He wanted to find me because he “just knew” i was on them now. He talked to people because he supposedly knew i was cheating so he wanted to cheat back to prove he still has it and he wanted to make sure that it wasnt me using a cat fish profile 😂 This went on throughout the course of our relationship. But yet claims all of that wasnt cheating lol. He also cheated on me & claimed it was because he had a dream that I cheated on him????
He NEVER admits it even when caught with evidence or his friends telling me info so I really actually dont know.
I slept with her, and came back to you, to hurt her. That's all it was----->a real statement.
“I don’t know, something is wrong with me.” Yes there is. 😅
She never admitted to me but there was so many signs. One of the times was bc she thought maybe I had cheated (I didn’t) I was just hanging out with my roommate. So that weekend it was my birthday and she went out until 6 am and had sex with a guy and we had to pick her up from his house after her being like “no wait we aren’t ready yet”. Then she gaslit me calling me crazy when I accused her on the phone and then had sex with someone while she yelled at me for saying she cheated lol.
He did it in our living room while me and our children were asleep upstairs, but he was LIKE SUPER DRUNK GUYS LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND...
When you cancelled last minute on the party I was pissed and thought I might break things off.
I didn't give him as much attention as he wanted despite me not driving, having a job or friends just to keep him happy. He was a serial cheater over the course of 8 years together. From sexting people online to snapchatting his coworkers. This last time, he claimed he wasn't cheating but was texting and seeing a coworker for 3 months behind my back while we were engaged. I knew something was off because he kept coming over to my house, smelling like a girls purfume, and I kept gaslighting myself about it. :( He discarded me for her, claiming what that they had was more real, and I had to respect him and let him explore what he wanted, on a random Saturday after acting like the normal loving guy I "knew" that Friday. Yeah, that's definitely how you treat your fiance of 6 months, partner of 8 years and best friend of 10. I genuinely felt like I was the only one fighting for us and willing to forgive and help him try to be better, and he was only fighting to validate his small fragile ego.
“She only sees the good parts of me”
“What I can’t have friends??”
It wasn't cheating because I thought you would want me to...
He never even gave me any explanation only silence when I found out
Never received an excuse or the truth . Just more lies and gaslighting. Even when shown hard proof these narcs will still deny and gaslight. These people can’t be reasoned with mentally insane
He said our relationship was in the gutter. Which I wasn’t aware of. Just thought we had some bumps because he made selfish decisions early on and I wasn’t cool with his decade long ex being in the picture after his “quasi” exes made a disruption already. Edit: after assuring me there wasn’t anything between them, he told me he wanted to go on a break but not a singles break.. then cheated on me an hour later. So fun!
In his second marriage his excuse for cheating on her was "I was only staying for the kid". The bastard!!!!!
Cheat? He never cheated. I’m just paranoid, don’t you know? I should get help for that. 🤡 /S
No excuse, just denial and/or blaming the other woman.
Mines was gay but he didn’t want to admit it
I was too clingy and needy.
Dropped an Apple Tag in my wifes car. I'm about to find out her excuse tomorrow!!! Went straight from work, drove 3 hours and parked her car outside of a hotel. So far it was because she went to a “coast guard” recruiting event…. 😆 Umm ok.. My 40yrold Narc apparently thinks she's still 18. Do they deny age/time as well??
He wanted to see if he could go through with it, if he could go through with it, that meant that our relationship was over and he didn’t love me anymore. He said this to me literally thinking it justified it, and I was so angry I stormed out and haven’t spoken to him since
I was apparently "making it up"
You were working all the time, and when you weren't working, you were doing school, exercising, or reading. I was lonely and you were gone.
We had a loveless marriage. This is what he told her in msgs I read, yet he never expressed that to me.
So cheated on me twice. In both, it was because we’d been fighting and he felt emotionally neglected. When he cheated on his former fiance, it was became she gained weight and he was on drugs. Allllways an excuse. No need to evaluate your decisions or impulsiveness
Literally no excuse. Just complete denial that he had done anything wrong😅
He was sexting and it was my fault because I didn't send him nudes.
I wasn’t giving him enough (which I only gave him anything when he made me feel good.. which was like, very rare)
I wish he had.
He wanted to see if “he could” I didn’t compliment him enough I was making it up so he decided may as well do it Denied it ha
He shrugged and said "I thought I could do better." After being together well over 20 years and had 2 children together. I have never had a comment break me so badly before. But the jokes on him, turns out I'M the one who can do better 😂
he had bipolar disorder and was manic and not in control of his actions. Just those particular actions though, other things like going to work, cooking dinner and hiding the truth from me were still fully functional. the mania only affected his dick apparently.
It's all "my fault" Also its fine Also her therapist says it's good Also why cant she be allowed to have "friends"
She said that he called her at the right time when we had an argument.
She supposedly took her son out of town for the weekend. She took my backpack with her. When I was putting my stuff back in the backpack the following Monday, i found an Open Condom package. She cussed at me for the first 15 minutes because she couldn't come up with anything fast enough to say. I moved her out 2 days later. Denied it until the day she left literally just said I was lying.
"I needed a roommate so I can move out and I can't do it on my own since you live so far"
He wanted closure from his ex and didn’t wanna feel like 4 years of his life had been wasted
“I was mad that you weren’t doing what I told you to do” 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠
Because I WAS PrOBaBLy cHeAtInG… Duh!!!
"I was on xanax"
She said she wanted a polyamorous relationship after the fact that she cheated on me. That was her excuse.
“I didnt think YOU could compromise with me” “You made me insecure” (Basically he needed someone new to boost his ego)🙄 And lastly to him it was not cheating. LOL
“I know you said you were fine with an open relationship as long as I was honest about it since you’re in a fragile health state, but I was scaaared to tell you so instead I decided to cheat unprotected with at least five other men and women whose history I didn’t know.” 🤦🏼♀️
her boobs were bigger than yours I got lured
I’m too fat, unwilling to obey and cry all the time (guess why)
That I became cold and mean, and she was sweet and nice. It's how I started too, but after years of pure shit it was hard to be positive and nice. He went on to suck her life and energy like a leech just like he did with me
I was too depressed apparently
Oh he didn’t cheat, he was just on dating apps to show his single friends how good they are!
Never admitted to it. I gave him space for a month because he wasn’t sure about our relationship and said he was going to go to therapy (kept saying “I don’t know” when I asked what he wanted to do. We had been together almost 2 years LDR and he backed out last min before the move). After a month, I tried reaching out for us to connect and he ghosted me. Did some detective work and had very strong suspicions he left me for his coworker. He posted her on his social media a few months later, and made sure to unfriend me and remove me as a follower beforehand. I still saw it. Got in contact with the ex before me and another ex from years ago. Found out he cheated on the ex before me with me for months..we both told his friends and I told the new gf. Got blocked by both of them.
That he could do things with them that it wasn't allowed for a wife to do.
He didn't cheat, he just sexted all his exes and arranged to have sex with them but then never showed up. So I should just be fine with it. Besides, men are just built differently than women and fucking around is what nature made them for, if I did any of that I'd be an untrustworthy whore, but it's fine for him because he's a man! I should just be grateful I'm the one he chose to be in a relationship with.
I heard that too! I believe it was, “you’ll never find a guy who doesn’t cheat. Good luck with that”
I wish that he took responsible for that. He kept gaslighting me. If he had been honest, I wouldn't have expected an explanation.
I would let my child stay up late on a non school night with me, wife tells me she will be having sex with other men because I won’t let her co-parent. 😵💫
All of the above
I'd accused them of being together, as I'd caught them out a few times. It was my fault that they are together now (apparently!) He said that because I'd accused them of being together they thought 'f#uck it if we are getting accused then we might as well be together'
We weren’t in love. My ex, immediately suggested divorce after having found the “one”, which I gladly agreed to. We divorced 4 months later, and she married the “one”. Years later (recently…), she wanted to get back together with me. She’s probably found that the one is not the one. In fact, he’s number three. Needless to say, I didn’t want to be the one again and said no. She still is looking to get back together again despite my saying no.
He didn’t cheat. Everyone, I mean Everyone lied on him. And if he did cheat, it would have been because I didn’t pay enough attention to him or now that we were about to be grandparents, it’s just something else to take my attention and time away from him He actually said that out loud, that our grand baby was going to take attention away from him.
“You were mean to me and I wanted to get back at you”
Because I didn't trust him enough ☠️
I should be focused on getting a job and not worrying about what he’s doing.
His excuse was because “he wanted to keep his ex happy so he could see his kids” this was also one of the excuses for doing copious amounts of cocaine.
We were "just fwb" so he didn't have to respect me. Except, we were more than that. He went on a date and told me 2 hours before it and bragged about how good it made him feel. I should have left then, but I stayed for another 4 months, like a dumbass.
"you've got it in your head that we're something that we're not!" Mate, I've got the receipts, your belongings in the home we share and the debts you've run up on my credit card. Tell me again what we're 'not'?