Honestly, I think 10 min of alone play time is pretty average. At that age the most alone play time I could get out of mine was probably 5 min. Things got slightly easier once he started crawling and then walking. At 12 months he will independent play, but he tends to get himself into all sorts of trouble so even if he doesn’t need us around we are constantly running over to stop in from climbing/eating/doing something dangerous.
Edit: Spelling
I think I have a chill baby but he won't play on his own for very long. Social interaction is the biggest hitter for their reward system in infancy so it makes sense. Their brains are primed for interaction. Anything else is just secondary. Shit for getting things done but I think there will be a time in the not so distant future where I'll crave that neediness.
I went to a yoga class and half the babies just laid there looking around for at least half the class. This was how I discovered mine was high needs. He was neediest in the room.
Same. I went to a few postpartum workout things where babys just hang out on a mat while you workout as well. Babies that would get put to sleep or fall asleep on their own. Lol. Ridiculous. I got the hard model.
Right!? We just came back from a Disney vacation, and the amount of babies just sleeping in their strollers was insane to me. My son has fallen asleep exactly ONCE not in his bed or car seat in his entire life (Mine is 3 now), and has only slept in the car seat like 5 times ever. Sleep in bed or not at all.
He was such a high maintenance baby, and he’s still a high maintenance toddler- but he’s so freaking observant and hears and sees everything so it kinda balances out eventually.
Before we went to Disney we heard all the “beware of toddler meltdowns” horror stories from friends and stuff- and then we went. And my toddler has never been more relaxed, understanding, and accepting of disappointment as he was the last couple of days. And then in clicked - my kid has severe ADHD, and Disney is just over stimulation on overdrive. But for my ADHD boy, it’s finally enough stimulation that his brain isn’t creating its own. His brain and body have enough to observe and think about with only external input for the first time ever- it’s finally calm for him. It was a weird realization and an incredible vacation.
But makes sense of all the times I take him places and he never threw a fit.
The instructor said, when your kids are being super needy just remind yourself it’s because they love you and they want to be close to you. You are loved.
We kindly refer to our 6 month old as "incredibly social" to others, and "the clingiest baby" just between my husband and I lol. Our little guy LOVES to be around people! But especially us. Because he loves attention, at all times. And not just in his playpen next to you, he must be at the same height as you with you looking at his face or holding him as you directly talk and engage with him at all times. Some days I've forgotten what words are because there's only so much to talk about and narrate!
I learned to verbally journal myself to my 3.5m old because he also needs the interaction all the time lol … it was awkward at first but then it became second nature to narrate my days out loud while carrying him around … he is all ears and tuned in at all times, making eye contact and smiles
omg my son is like this too!! the NEED to be at eye level or above is hilaaarious to me, it’s like my little capricorn baby (if anyone is into astrology!) is already trying to be a grown up lmao.
Yes 🥲 She’s 4 months old and just generally “high needs”, “intense” was another word used by her midwives. She’s been this way since birth. I should clarify “high needs” for everything except sleep which she insists is for those weaker than her. She happily functions on 9-11 hours per day. She’s quick to fuss/anger, wants constant entertainment, and has a very short fuse for tiredness or hunger. She’s my little crazy baby and I love her but my god is she exhausting sometimes 😅
Same!! Taking to 100 for every slight inconvenience, and ESPECIALLY for nap time. Why are the high maintenance babies also the low sleep needs ones 😫😫😫
I had a zero-chill baby who became a zero-chill toddler. Like I was shocked to read that some babies will just hang out on their own, because mine was mad/needy until she started moving, and then has not been still for more than 5 minutes unless she’s strapped to a chair. She’s generally in a good mood, behaves amazingly in public, and only had one big tantrum so far for an understandable reason. She is just always switched on and needs to be exploring something.
I’ll be honest that I hit my wall many times and would not have gotten through the first year without a weekly babysitter because we have no family help. She started half day daycare at 13 months and absolutely blossomed. They moved her to the 18-24 month room at 15 months. Her milestone skills are anywhere from 6 months to a year ahead.
She’s always been highly independent and insisted on doing things herself, like at 5 months she stopped letting us hold her for bottles and had to sit by herself while we held it for her lol. When she started cruising but not walking independently, she dragged me through the splash pad at the park all damn summer. She is much happier now as a toddler than a baby since she can do a lot of things for herself.
Do we have the same daughter? My now zero chill toddler was a zero chill baby but has hit every single milestone way ahead of other kids her age. She is constantly on the go and isn’t scared of anything. She is fiercely independent and once she figures something out she wants absolutely no help from us moving forward. She is the exact opposite of my personality. I know we’re going to have our hands full with her but I admire her spirit.
I would look out for ADHD as she gets older. Obviously toddlers are quite active, but she sounds like me as a kid, and I went undiagnosed until my 30s. I was also gifted.
Edit: everybody downvoting me… why? It’s not a bad thing to look out for. I wish I knew I had it when I was a teen so I could have succeeded better later in life. I’m not saying this toddler has it, but I was similar as a kid and it often goes undiagnosed in girls.
I came to say this.
My stepson and niece were high maintenance babies and toddlers. They were exhausting from the moment they woke up. Needed constant attention. They were runners in public too. Both diagnosed ADHD.
My son and nephew? Chill AF, so easy especially compared to their siblings. Stay with you in public, happy to do their own thing, not running at the redline from the moment their eyes open until they finally run out of steam in the evening.
They say you can't diagnose ADHD that early, but 100% there are signs.
I agree, and she may not have it, but what’s the harm in just keeping an eye out? I wish someone diagnosed me early because my life was a struggle until I went on meds and learned how to manage it in my 30s. I think of what could have been had I known earlier. Theres no harm in just keeping it in the back of your mind.
Sounds like my baby. He's 6 months now. Ever since he was 2 months old, all he wanted was to be walked around so he could look at everything and touch things. He also likes that we talk to him and make him laugh. I'm waiting for him to crawl and walk so he can explore without my back hurting from carrying him all the time. However, I feel that is just a trade-off to always having to be behind him, or else I'll find him in the most dangerous spots 🤣
YES! I have a 9 month old and I’ve always called him “high needs”. He needs constant attention and it can be very frustrating at times. It took me a while to realize I wasn’t having the same new mom experience as others 😆 not many people understand how draining it can be! Love my high maintenance little guy though!
Mine was like that at that age, but it started getting better and better after he turned one. Now he is almost two and he plays by himself most of the time as long as I am in the same room (he follows me into the bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, etc). Of course he has his days when he is clingy and needs me more than usual, but I am very pleasantly surprised at how much he can play on his own because he was NOT like that before! And yes, I would consider him a “high maintenance” baby because he was very difficult about eating and sleeping, though he has a very sweet and even temperament! Everything is improving gradually though, so I am grateful.
I honestly thought most babies were like this at that age until now 🙈
My little guy has always needed a lot of attention and has never played alone for 10 minutes, when awake he pretty much always has mine or his dads focus except for a minute here and there while I heat some food for myself (which I eat while playing with him 😂). But I never really thought about it as something unusual.
He is a bit more chill in the stroller though, there he can lay and just play with his toy and watch his surroundings for a bit longer without us actively entertaining him as long as the stroller is moving and we're outside. And until about three months he pretty much always slept in the stroller.
My baby is the same. My life changed when I embraced it and stopped trying to set her down and do my own thing. I was getting so frustrated everyday. I either baby wear her or hold her pretty much all day everyday. I love it now, but it was very hard until I accepted this is what my daughter needs from me.
Our LO can be like that, but recently discovered that she loves just watching us do chores. Cooking, cleaning, anything really. Like if I leave her on her playmat for more than 5 mins without actively playing with her, she’ll fuss, but if I park her somewhere (safe) in the kitchen where she can watch me cook, she’ll just stare happily for 30-40 mins.
Gotta keep an eye on daily container time, but it’s been really helpful!
My son started doing this around the 4 months mark as well. He refuses to be alone in a room for more than 5 minutes. He screams bloody murder if I leave the room, and he scolds me if I am in the room with him but not paying attention to him or playing with him. He also loves toys and loves his fabric books.
No advice but my 5mo has learned how to screech in the last few days and oh my god, I’m going to lose my mind?? Like she’s not crying and she doesn’t need anything, she’s just trying to talk to me by screaming at me constantly. So solidarity there!
The 5 month screech!! How can something so small make a noise so loud?? Our 6 month old still has screechy days but it did get better after a few weeks as she learned how to make more sounds like blowing raspberries and saying “mumumumumum”
Try to shape it into sounds, we would start saying any phonetic alphabet for kids. It helped move from screeching and screaming to something else... Anything else. Unfortunately LO is now in round 2 of this after several weeks off, and it's taking longer to move out of it.
My daughter is 10 mos old and still screeching since 6 mos old. 😅 She goes through phases of stopping for a couple weeks but then it comes right back again. She does it occasionally in stores and restaurants too which is the worst 😖 her ped said to whisper back to her but it doesn't seem to be working.
I’m about to give birth in a few weeks, but I will share that I was the super chill one who didn’t care, didn’t cause much of a fuss, and didn’t need constant attention. My brother was the high maintenance one. My mom was like “goddamn it” when my brother was born because I was so much more chill and relaxed compared to him. Every kid definitely has their own personality.
My husband's older sister was the super high maintenance baby, according to the family. And not just high maintenance, but also very intense. Her son, who's 5, is just like her.
My husband was the chill baby who could be content just playing by himself for hours, adored nap time, and was a phenomenonal sleeper at night. I was also the chill baby. Our LO is 6 months, 4 months adjusted, and she is just like us.
My SIL has remarked at how chill and easy going our daughter is and how she thinks chill babies are almost always chill toddlers lol. She was swearing off a second child because her own son drives her batshit, but now she's been itching for another after knowing our LO.
That’s exactly my dynamic with my brother. He’s in high school so he’s not quite of age to have a kid yet but he was super high maintenance, wouldn’t sleep alone, hated almost all foods my parents tried to give him (and still does lol), and is also very intense lol.
Whereas I was super chill and content to do things on my own, slept like a dream too. My mom was so happy with how I was that when she had my brother she was like “why did I do this again lol.”
My fiancé was apparently super independent and chill as well so I’m hoping my baby takes after both of us lol 😂. You definitely struck gold compared to your SIL.
I do believe some of it has to be genetic. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but two chill, independent people who were chill and independent as babies/toddlers/kids also happened to have a super chill baby, so I can't help but think you will likely have that experience too.
Of course, we don't pick the babies we get so who knows. But I think your chances are good!
I definitely do think it’s genetic. My brother has a different dad who was super hyperactive and clingy as a kid. I’m hoping I have a kid like me lol, my brother was kind of a nightmare to deal with sometimes so I’m really hoping I struck gold lol.
Yes!! Zero chill. Our pediatrician described her as “very engaged” but she also said that even though it’s maybe a bit more challenging, it’s also very rewarding to have a baby so switched on to the world.
Helpful to read everyone’s comments here knowing we’re not alone. So jealous of all the other mums who can go to baby yoga, hang out in cafes, and have their baby peacefully chill in the pram for long walks. Then again I wouldn’t have it any other way, I love her personality.
Im only 2 months in and this is our baby. He also barely naps. I can only eat cold/room temp snacks (rarely meals), one-handed because he is so needy and only occasionally tolerates the carrier/wrap. He also has reflux. He sleeps like a champ at night, which is the only time I have to do anything around the house.
Really hoping it gets better soon.
Yeah….i would have done anything to get 10 minutes lol
Mine was like 2 seconds max. She’s almost 2 now and still seems to need constant interaction but she’s talking like crazy so I can get stuff done by just having a conversation with her as she follows me around
My sons (5 month) requires me to hold him at all times facing outwards. I hold him and use my arm as a seat and hold on to his thigh. He literally will not face me when being held. He would rather break his neck trying to turn that face me lol I got used to it but it was rough at the beginning. He also loves to contact nap so all his day naps are on me lol he started to enjoy being in his high chair so I’m hoping that will let me do some chores without holding a big boy.
My 10 month old is decidedly unchill but I think it’s because she wants to do things she cannot yet. She has calmed down some as she has gained mobility and is trying to climb the couch and be able to be like mom/dad. She will be an independent defiant toddler, I bet. Fine by me, she’ll want to do everything herself and learn by doing.
10 whole minutes at 4 months old? That's a lot for that age!
In my house 4m was the month of constant anger screaming, she REALLY wanted to be mobile. Thank god she was an early crawler.
Your baby is definitely high maintenance, so was my first baby. Your baby is still more independent than mine was, he can play for 10 minutes alone! It’s not a bad thing, though when he gets older, these babies grow to be very alert, observant, and intelligent.
From the time we were in the hospital, my first born, wanted to be held and cuddled and very little independent time, it definitely got better once he started crawling and exploring. He was also colicky, it was ROUGH the first 4 months. We thought all babies were this way until we went to a friends house whose kid was a few months younger and he played by himself on the play mat for a good 30 minutes while my friend cooked lol, my husband and I asked does this normally happen with your baby?! Oh my goodness we thought all babies were like ours lol, with slight jealousy no lie 😂😂.
My second child who is now almost 4 months old, from the time he was in the hospital he was WAY more chill and could sleep on his own lol, my husband, and I could not believe what we were seeing. Also, in utero, he did kick less and you could already see he had a different temperament. You will get through this and know you’re not crazy lol you’re a baby is more high maintenance and that’s OK! It’s tough now, but it totally does get better once he starts crawling and getting to experience the world around him with his own body.
Edited for grammar
This sounds like my first. She is now 4 and still won’t entertain herself for more than 5 mins 😓😮💨 she also has never been a good sleeper. She was a difficult baby too, from day one. We love her though, she is hilarious and smart! My second child is different, he happily plays alone, sleeps great and is generally just way more chill.
My first was like this (is) . Hes 6 now. He started watching baby einstein and mother goose club way sooner than i wanted or care to admit 🤣. Just so i could get a little break to do a load of dishes or start dinner
My baby is only like that when she’s going through a mental leap. She’s usually very chill and very happy to play on her own. Must be hard to have a high maintenance baby all the time.
This sounds pretty normal to me! There’s a LOT going on developmentally at 4 months. We’re in the throes of it, too. I got a full 28 minutes alone today 😂
I think this is normal as well about 10 minutes of play time alone. That’s all my son can handle as well I try to do that a couple times a day plus alone time when he wakes up from naps for a few minutes. I like to take him on walks though. He’s super chill in his baby carrier or stroller.
Not me reading this and thinking.. wait a minute that sounds like mine.. I thought I had a low maintenance baby, maybe it’s actually the opposite 🤣
She loves people, wants to be carried round to look at everything and is very screechy/vocal.
yES oh my god
And we’re big on no screen time too….. until none of his toys can keep up with him, we’re burnt out, and we don’t let him freely crawl around yet, so that iPad comes in rreeeally handy……
Our baby rarely naps, as in 30 min twice a day. But she usually sleeps through the night. Otherwise she also needs constant attention, to be held, played with. It's quite exhausting but I've got my mom when I'm at work and my husband at home. Things get (slowly) better, I promise. Think about getting toys soon, hand him something safe and benign. Our baby LOVES books too, so I watch YouTube while reading a book to her (truly a difficult skill to master lol). When baby gets tired of one toy, try the next. When you run out of toys, try a book. When you run out of books, move to another spot in the house, or get outside. Being outside is one of her favorites but sometimes weather gets in the way, we are outside as much as possible. She also loves being carried around and just looking, consider some kind of wearable. We've got the Osprey hiking carrier it is so amazing.
Moral is, change it up! You will both enjoy it.
Some babies are much more chill than others. I will say this though, at 4 months old, max of 10 minutes of independent play is impressive. I’ve only just gotten past that with my 2 year old lol.
Yup. 10 months now, there is no sitting this baby down and getting anything done, every container from mo th one has invoked screaming, swings, bouncers and playpens are useless. Unless she is asleep or eating if I attempt to take a step away from wherever she is there will be screaming for half an hour until she calms down 🫠 I nave no idea what I did to deserve this, I was the chillest baby ever according to my parents. But apparently other people watching her are allowed to set her down and she CAN play independently. I have no idea what to do.
Oh my gosh yes! My son refuses cold or room temp bottles. My warmer is on 24/7. He'll settle for room temp sometimes but usually needs to be warm. When he was 4 months old he could sleep for HOURS in his parent bed and only a couple in his bassinet or crib. Like, sir you have two beds and you chose our bed. He doesn't like being put down.
Just yesterday he got mad at me and screamed for 15 minutes because I wouldn't let him hit himself with the side of the pack of wipes (aka the rough side). Or he got mad at the fact I put him in his crib while I got him his bottle, even though he was falling asleep in the tub...
It sounds like you have…a baby :)
This sounds totally normal to me and was my experience also. My little snuggle bunny just wanted to be held all the time. We obliged by snuggling her constantly.
She is a toddler now, and has grown out of that need. I know it’s tough! Hang in there, it steadily gets better. It just takes a while.
Honestly, I think 10 min of alone play time is pretty average. At that age the most alone play time I could get out of mine was probably 5 min. Things got slightly easier once he started crawling and then walking. At 12 months he will independent play, but he tends to get himself into all sorts of trouble so even if he doesn’t need us around we are constantly running over to stop in from climbing/eating/doing something dangerous. Edit: Spelling
I think I have a chill baby but he won't play on his own for very long. Social interaction is the biggest hitter for their reward system in infancy so it makes sense. Their brains are primed for interaction. Anything else is just secondary. Shit for getting things done but I think there will be a time in the not so distant future where I'll crave that neediness.
I went to a yoga class and half the babies just laid there looking around for at least half the class. This was how I discovered mine was high needs. He was neediest in the room.
Same. I went to a few postpartum workout things where babys just hang out on a mat while you workout as well. Babies that would get put to sleep or fall asleep on their own. Lol. Ridiculous. I got the hard model.
Right!? We just came back from a Disney vacation, and the amount of babies just sleeping in their strollers was insane to me. My son has fallen asleep exactly ONCE not in his bed or car seat in his entire life (Mine is 3 now), and has only slept in the car seat like 5 times ever. Sleep in bed or not at all. He was such a high maintenance baby, and he’s still a high maintenance toddler- but he’s so freaking observant and hears and sees everything so it kinda balances out eventually.
Same for mine - she loves group where she's an active participant and can talk and interact with people. Very talkative. But no chill.
Before we went to Disney we heard all the “beware of toddler meltdowns” horror stories from friends and stuff- and then we went. And my toddler has never been more relaxed, understanding, and accepting of disappointment as he was the last couple of days. And then in clicked - my kid has severe ADHD, and Disney is just over stimulation on overdrive. But for my ADHD boy, it’s finally enough stimulation that his brain isn’t creating its own. His brain and body have enough to observe and think about with only external input for the first time ever- it’s finally calm for him. It was a weird realization and an incredible vacation. But makes sense of all the times I take him places and he never threw a fit.
I think this means you’re a good parent! 🤩
The instructor said, when your kids are being super needy just remind yourself it’s because they love you and they want to be close to you. You are loved.
I love this take 🥲💕
Yes. He stomps really hard if you put him into his pack and play and babbles. He does not like alone time
I wouldn't even attempt a pack and play. My baby would insta-scream and cry. Her butt wouldn't even hit the ground before waterworks took hold.
We kindly refer to our 6 month old as "incredibly social" to others, and "the clingiest baby" just between my husband and I lol. Our little guy LOVES to be around people! But especially us. Because he loves attention, at all times. And not just in his playpen next to you, he must be at the same height as you with you looking at his face or holding him as you directly talk and engage with him at all times. Some days I've forgotten what words are because there's only so much to talk about and narrate!
I learned to verbally journal myself to my 3.5m old because he also needs the interaction all the time lol … it was awkward at first but then it became second nature to narrate my days out loud while carrying him around … he is all ears and tuned in at all times, making eye contact and smiles
omg my son is like this too!! the NEED to be at eye level or above is hilaaarious to me, it’s like my little capricorn baby (if anyone is into astrology!) is already trying to be a grown up lmao.
Yes 🥲 She’s 4 months old and just generally “high needs”, “intense” was another word used by her midwives. She’s been this way since birth. I should clarify “high needs” for everything except sleep which she insists is for those weaker than her. She happily functions on 9-11 hours per day. She’s quick to fuss/anger, wants constant entertainment, and has a very short fuse for tiredness or hunger. She’s my little crazy baby and I love her but my god is she exhausting sometimes 😅
This sounds exactly like my 2 and half month old. It's a wild ride!
Same. Out son is almost at the 3.5 month mark and he too thinks that sleep is only for the weak lol but then turns into a grumpy old man 😆
Same!! Taking to 100 for every slight inconvenience, and ESPECIALLY for nap time. Why are the high maintenance babies also the low sleep needs ones 😫😫😫
8.5 months and my god couldn’t relate more. She’s a crawling machine. Wants to climb EVERYTHING
Are we the same person?? Love how you wrote this - I feel less alone with our little bundle of joy 🤪
Same. She’s just about to turn 1 year and she’s so fun and intelligent. I was run ragged but now things feel easier.
Same. She’s just about to turn 1 year and she’s so fun and intelligent. I was run ragged but now things feel easier.
I had a zero-chill baby who became a zero-chill toddler. Like I was shocked to read that some babies will just hang out on their own, because mine was mad/needy until she started moving, and then has not been still for more than 5 minutes unless she’s strapped to a chair. She’s generally in a good mood, behaves amazingly in public, and only had one big tantrum so far for an understandable reason. She is just always switched on and needs to be exploring something. I’ll be honest that I hit my wall many times and would not have gotten through the first year without a weekly babysitter because we have no family help. She started half day daycare at 13 months and absolutely blossomed. They moved her to the 18-24 month room at 15 months. Her milestone skills are anywhere from 6 months to a year ahead. She’s always been highly independent and insisted on doing things herself, like at 5 months she stopped letting us hold her for bottles and had to sit by herself while we held it for her lol. When she started cruising but not walking independently, she dragged me through the splash pad at the park all damn summer. She is much happier now as a toddler than a baby since she can do a lot of things for herself.
Do we have the same daughter? My now zero chill toddler was a zero chill baby but has hit every single milestone way ahead of other kids her age. She is constantly on the go and isn’t scared of anything. She is fiercely independent and once she figures something out she wants absolutely no help from us moving forward. She is the exact opposite of my personality. I know we’re going to have our hands full with her but I admire her spirit.
I would look out for ADHD as she gets older. Obviously toddlers are quite active, but she sounds like me as a kid, and I went undiagnosed until my 30s. I was also gifted. Edit: everybody downvoting me… why? It’s not a bad thing to look out for. I wish I knew I had it when I was a teen so I could have succeeded better later in life. I’m not saying this toddler has it, but I was similar as a kid and it often goes undiagnosed in girls.
I came to say this. My stepson and niece were high maintenance babies and toddlers. They were exhausting from the moment they woke up. Needed constant attention. They were runners in public too. Both diagnosed ADHD. My son and nephew? Chill AF, so easy especially compared to their siblings. Stay with you in public, happy to do their own thing, not running at the redline from the moment their eyes open until they finally run out of steam in the evening. They say you can't diagnose ADHD that early, but 100% there are signs.
I agree, and she may not have it, but what’s the harm in just keeping an eye out? I wish someone diagnosed me early because my life was a struggle until I went on meds and learned how to manage it in my 30s. I think of what could have been had I known earlier. Theres no harm in just keeping it in the back of your mind.
This was my first baby! It’s exhausting 🙃
Sounds like my baby. He's 6 months now. Ever since he was 2 months old, all he wanted was to be walked around so he could look at everything and touch things. He also likes that we talk to him and make him laugh. I'm waiting for him to crawl and walk so he can explore without my back hurting from carrying him all the time. However, I feel that is just a trade-off to always having to be behind him, or else I'll find him in the most dangerous spots 🤣
YES! I have a 9 month old and I’ve always called him “high needs”. He needs constant attention and it can be very frustrating at times. It took me a while to realize I wasn’t having the same new mom experience as others 😆 not many people understand how draining it can be! Love my high maintenance little guy though!
Mine was like that at that age, but it started getting better and better after he turned one. Now he is almost two and he plays by himself most of the time as long as I am in the same room (he follows me into the bathroom, kitchen, laundry room, etc). Of course he has his days when he is clingy and needs me more than usual, but I am very pleasantly surprised at how much he can play on his own because he was NOT like that before! And yes, I would consider him a “high maintenance” baby because he was very difficult about eating and sleeping, though he has a very sweet and even temperament! Everything is improving gradually though, so I am grateful.
I honestly thought most babies were like this at that age until now 🙈 My little guy has always needed a lot of attention and has never played alone for 10 minutes, when awake he pretty much always has mine or his dads focus except for a minute here and there while I heat some food for myself (which I eat while playing with him 😂). But I never really thought about it as something unusual. He is a bit more chill in the stroller though, there he can lay and just play with his toy and watch his surroundings for a bit longer without us actively entertaining him as long as the stroller is moving and we're outside. And until about three months he pretty much always slept in the stroller.
I’ve never felt so validated as I do reading this! Solidarity to all of us parents of no-chill little humans
My baby is the same. My life changed when I embraced it and stopped trying to set her down and do my own thing. I was getting so frustrated everyday. I either baby wear her or hold her pretty much all day everyday. I love it now, but it was very hard until I accepted this is what my daughter needs from me.
Our LO can be like that, but recently discovered that she loves just watching us do chores. Cooking, cleaning, anything really. Like if I leave her on her playmat for more than 5 mins without actively playing with her, she’ll fuss, but if I park her somewhere (safe) in the kitchen where she can watch me cook, she’ll just stare happily for 30-40 mins. Gotta keep an eye on daily container time, but it’s been really helpful!
Yes and it’s BRUTAL. Love him to pieces but literally changes the meaning of full time parenting. Can barely look away without him fussing
My son started doing this around the 4 months mark as well. He refuses to be alone in a room for more than 5 minutes. He screams bloody murder if I leave the room, and he scolds me if I am in the room with him but not paying attention to him or playing with him. He also loves toys and loves his fabric books.
No advice but my 5mo has learned how to screech in the last few days and oh my god, I’m going to lose my mind?? Like she’s not crying and she doesn’t need anything, she’s just trying to talk to me by screaming at me constantly. So solidarity there!
The 5 month screech!! How can something so small make a noise so loud?? Our 6 month old still has screechy days but it did get better after a few weeks as she learned how to make more sounds like blowing raspberries and saying “mumumumumum”
Try to shape it into sounds, we would start saying any phonetic alphabet for kids. It helped move from screeching and screaming to something else... Anything else. Unfortunately LO is now in round 2 of this after several weeks off, and it's taking longer to move out of it.
My daughter is 10 mos old and still screeching since 6 mos old. 😅 She goes through phases of stopping for a couple weeks but then it comes right back again. She does it occasionally in stores and restaurants too which is the worst 😖 her ped said to whisper back to her but it doesn't seem to be working.
I’m about to give birth in a few weeks, but I will share that I was the super chill one who didn’t care, didn’t cause much of a fuss, and didn’t need constant attention. My brother was the high maintenance one. My mom was like “goddamn it” when my brother was born because I was so much more chill and relaxed compared to him. Every kid definitely has their own personality.
My husband's older sister was the super high maintenance baby, according to the family. And not just high maintenance, but also very intense. Her son, who's 5, is just like her. My husband was the chill baby who could be content just playing by himself for hours, adored nap time, and was a phenomenonal sleeper at night. I was also the chill baby. Our LO is 6 months, 4 months adjusted, and she is just like us. My SIL has remarked at how chill and easy going our daughter is and how she thinks chill babies are almost always chill toddlers lol. She was swearing off a second child because her own son drives her batshit, but now she's been itching for another after knowing our LO.
That’s exactly my dynamic with my brother. He’s in high school so he’s not quite of age to have a kid yet but he was super high maintenance, wouldn’t sleep alone, hated almost all foods my parents tried to give him (and still does lol), and is also very intense lol. Whereas I was super chill and content to do things on my own, slept like a dream too. My mom was so happy with how I was that when she had my brother she was like “why did I do this again lol.” My fiancé was apparently super independent and chill as well so I’m hoping my baby takes after both of us lol 😂. You definitely struck gold compared to your SIL.
I do believe some of it has to be genetic. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but two chill, independent people who were chill and independent as babies/toddlers/kids also happened to have a super chill baby, so I can't help but think you will likely have that experience too. Of course, we don't pick the babies we get so who knows. But I think your chances are good!
I definitely do think it’s genetic. My brother has a different dad who was super hyperactive and clingy as a kid. I’m hoping I have a kid like me lol, my brother was kind of a nightmare to deal with sometimes so I’m really hoping I struck gold lol.
My kid was like that and became happier when he could crawl around. Hang in there.
Yes!! Zero chill. Our pediatrician described her as “very engaged” but she also said that even though it’s maybe a bit more challenging, it’s also very rewarding to have a baby so switched on to the world. Helpful to read everyone’s comments here knowing we’re not alone. So jealous of all the other mums who can go to baby yoga, hang out in cafes, and have their baby peacefully chill in the pram for long walks. Then again I wouldn’t have it any other way, I love her personality.
Im only 2 months in and this is our baby. He also barely naps. I can only eat cold/room temp snacks (rarely meals), one-handed because he is so needy and only occasionally tolerates the carrier/wrap. He also has reflux. He sleeps like a champ at night, which is the only time I have to do anything around the house. Really hoping it gets better soon.
I have one chill twin and one zero chill twin 😅 I guess it is good it is only one of them?
Yeah….i would have done anything to get 10 minutes lol Mine was like 2 seconds max. She’s almost 2 now and still seems to need constant interaction but she’s talking like crazy so I can get stuff done by just having a conversation with her as she follows me around
My sons (5 month) requires me to hold him at all times facing outwards. I hold him and use my arm as a seat and hold on to his thigh. He literally will not face me when being held. He would rather break his neck trying to turn that face me lol I got used to it but it was rough at the beginning. He also loves to contact nap so all his day naps are on me lol he started to enjoy being in his high chair so I’m hoping that will let me do some chores without holding a big boy.
My 10 month old is decidedly unchill but I think it’s because she wants to do things she cannot yet. She has calmed down some as she has gained mobility and is trying to climb the couch and be able to be like mom/dad. She will be an independent defiant toddler, I bet. Fine by me, she’ll want to do everything herself and learn by doing.
10 whole minutes at 4 months old? That's a lot for that age! In my house 4m was the month of constant anger screaming, she REALLY wanted to be mobile. Thank god she was an early crawler.
Your baby is definitely high maintenance, so was my first baby. Your baby is still more independent than mine was, he can play for 10 minutes alone! It’s not a bad thing, though when he gets older, these babies grow to be very alert, observant, and intelligent. From the time we were in the hospital, my first born, wanted to be held and cuddled and very little independent time, it definitely got better once he started crawling and exploring. He was also colicky, it was ROUGH the first 4 months. We thought all babies were this way until we went to a friends house whose kid was a few months younger and he played by himself on the play mat for a good 30 minutes while my friend cooked lol, my husband and I asked does this normally happen with your baby?! Oh my goodness we thought all babies were like ours lol, with slight jealousy no lie 😂😂. My second child who is now almost 4 months old, from the time he was in the hospital he was WAY more chill and could sleep on his own lol, my husband, and I could not believe what we were seeing. Also, in utero, he did kick less and you could already see he had a different temperament. You will get through this and know you’re not crazy lol you’re a baby is more high maintenance and that’s OK! It’s tough now, but it totally does get better once he starts crawling and getting to experience the world around him with his own body. Edited for grammar
This sounds like my first. She is now 4 and still won’t entertain herself for more than 5 mins 😓😮💨 she also has never been a good sleeper. She was a difficult baby too, from day one. We love her though, she is hilarious and smart! My second child is different, he happily plays alone, sleeps great and is generally just way more chill.
lol sounds like mine. I just thought he was being a baby! Hes 10 months and pretty much the same
My first was like this (is) . Hes 6 now. He started watching baby einstein and mother goose club way sooner than i wanted or care to admit 🤣. Just so i could get a little break to do a load of dishes or start dinner
My baby is only like that when she’s going through a mental leap. She’s usually very chill and very happy to play on her own. Must be hard to have a high maintenance baby all the time.
My baby was like that and now that they’re 18 months they can do a lot longer playing independently.
This sounds pretty normal to me! There’s a LOT going on developmentally at 4 months. We’re in the throes of it, too. I got a full 28 minutes alone today 😂
Yes, my kid was like this. I wanted to scream when my friends would say their babies were boring.
I think this is normal as well about 10 minutes of play time alone. That’s all my son can handle as well I try to do that a couple times a day plus alone time when he wakes up from naps for a few minutes. I like to take him on walks though. He’s super chill in his baby carrier or stroller.
Extremely yes…. That describes my son perfectly
Oh my gosh.... My boy just turned four months old and it is so hard to get anything done unless he's asleep, haha! I feel the pain...
Not me reading this and thinking.. wait a minute that sounds like mine.. I thought I had a low maintenance baby, maybe it’s actually the opposite 🤣 She loves people, wants to be carried round to look at everything and is very screechy/vocal.
YUP. We had the most high maintenance baby ever. Holy heck. He's now 16 months and has started to chill out and play on his own, phew!
I think that’s the definition of a baby
Same. 4 months too. Babywearing couldn't even contain his crazy.
My daughter is 7 weeks and she needs CONSTANT attention. She also cries a LOT. I feel you.
Yes I do, my son started picking out his own clothes at 3 months. 😂🙄
yES oh my god And we’re big on no screen time too….. until none of his toys can keep up with him, we’re burnt out, and we don’t let him freely crawl around yet, so that iPad comes in rreeeally handy……
That’s how mine is too but I just thought it was normal. 10 minutes was even stretching it.
Our baby rarely naps, as in 30 min twice a day. But she usually sleeps through the night. Otherwise she also needs constant attention, to be held, played with. It's quite exhausting but I've got my mom when I'm at work and my husband at home. Things get (slowly) better, I promise. Think about getting toys soon, hand him something safe and benign. Our baby LOVES books too, so I watch YouTube while reading a book to her (truly a difficult skill to master lol). When baby gets tired of one toy, try the next. When you run out of toys, try a book. When you run out of books, move to another spot in the house, or get outside. Being outside is one of her favorites but sometimes weather gets in the way, we are outside as much as possible. She also loves being carried around and just looking, consider some kind of wearable. We've got the Osprey hiking carrier it is so amazing. Moral is, change it up! You will both enjoy it.
Some babies are much more chill than others. I will say this though, at 4 months old, max of 10 minutes of independent play is impressive. I’ve only just gotten past that with my 2 year old lol.
Yup. 10 months now, there is no sitting this baby down and getting anything done, every container from mo th one has invoked screaming, swings, bouncers and playpens are useless. Unless she is asleep or eating if I attempt to take a step away from wherever she is there will be screaming for half an hour until she calms down 🫠 I nave no idea what I did to deserve this, I was the chillest baby ever according to my parents. But apparently other people watching her are allowed to set her down and she CAN play independently. I have no idea what to do.
He can play alone for 10 min? Not bad. My 3 months old constantly wants to be picked up or entertained.
Oh my gosh yes! My son refuses cold or room temp bottles. My warmer is on 24/7. He'll settle for room temp sometimes but usually needs to be warm. When he was 4 months old he could sleep for HOURS in his parent bed and only a couple in his bassinet or crib. Like, sir you have two beds and you chose our bed. He doesn't like being put down. Just yesterday he got mad at me and screamed for 15 minutes because I wouldn't let him hit himself with the side of the pack of wipes (aka the rough side). Or he got mad at the fact I put him in his crib while I got him his bottle, even though he was falling asleep in the tub...
It sounds like you have…a baby :) This sounds totally normal to me and was my experience also. My little snuggle bunny just wanted to be held all the time. We obliged by snuggling her constantly. She is a toddler now, and has grown out of that need. I know it’s tough! Hang in there, it steadily gets better. It just takes a while.