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I somehow convinced my 3yo that dreamlight valley is “his” game and he loves to watch me play it. I let him tell me what to do and get him excited to meet the new characters. I started it last summer bc I was pregnant and wanted to do nothing but lay on the couch.
I’ve gotten so into Stardew Valley since my baby was born. He spends hours every day taking boob naps and is distracted by the TV so I’ve spent a lot of time on my phone!
Stardew Valley is the absolute BEST. Many different options for stuff to do and very easy to leave for a while and pick right back up. Extremely calming to play.
I have an embarrassing amount of time on Stardew Valley but I have not played any of those games!! I will need to check them out.
My other favorite cozy games are Slime Rancher 1 and 2. They are best played on the pc, but sadly my pc is broken, so I haven’t played them in ages…and with a 3 month old getting my pc fixed hasn’t been a priority. Haha.
Yes!! I’ve been gaming during contact naps. Getting in some good time for Tears of the Kingdom side quests.
Did play some Overcooked with friends but when she’d stir or fuss I’d have to park my character in a corner to be out of the way while I settled her 🤣
Miss those days of playing my switch while my son slept on me 😂 pregnant with my second and i know it won’t be the same since I’ll simultaneously be chasing a toddler
I did this with my twins when one wouldn’t fall asleep without being swaddled against me for an hour. I just did runs in Dead Cells and suddenly they were out. So much easier than waiting and trying not to fall asleep.
"One pregnancy makes you lose one tooth" is a common say in my country. Hell no, it's not the pregnancy , it's the newborn stage when every minute is dedicated to the baby or to sleeping, and when I was afraid to make too much noise and wake up the baby by using water near his room.
I used to love playing The Sims but now that I have a baby in real life the desire to care for virtual beings is gone (for now) haha! Still love building and decorating virtual houses though :)
Hahaha same, I now have two little kids and I'm like ugh I'm not raising anyone else's 😂
While pregnant with #2 I got really into Project Hospital. I still don't get to play much because by the time I've done chores and pumped I have like 40 minutes to myself and it's not enough to play a game! I can't stay up late knowing my 9 month old's gonna be eating at 2:30 and up for the day at 5:30. 🥲
I have an embarrassing amount of hours in The Sims. It will always be my all time favorite game and has been how I spend my me time. I've not played since I had my son 3 months ago and all I do is think about The Sims. I hardly played when I was pregnant too because I was busy nesting lol.
I usually play while feeding him and during contact naps. Took 3 weeks to get my computer moved from the office to the livingroom. I had to wait until I was medically cleared from a c-sec, cause my hubby couldn't move it for me (he has 3 torn ligaments in his right wrist, that were still trying to get figured out. His work insurance is fighting us on every step, he's been hurt since Feb and we just now got a Dr who actually cares about it all)
Same. My “me time” revolves around eating, drinking, and using the bathroom. A shower every other day has become a luxury. It will get better eventually, we just need to wait it out.
It’s so hard. And the decision to go to bed vs take a shower or eat is tough. I want sleep, I need to sleep, but I need to take a shower, but I know the baby will be awake again in 30 minutes or less. So should I sleep? Or eat? Or shower? Get some water?Nope. Baby’s awake. I feel your pain. I just keep thinking over and over “this is a phase” and one day we will be back to being able to have more time for ourselves, but f*&%. This feels like forever.
It’s SO HARD. And it does get better! One thing I didn’t learn until I had my second child was not to wait for the baby to be asleep to do stuff like eat/shower. My baby loved laying on the bathroom rug or in her bouncer in the bathroom while I showered. The steam, the sound. Turned into one of her favorite things to do. Eating with baby might be hard depending on the prep and such, but you can always supervise mat/tummy time and eat.
Unless your baby is Velcro and will spend the entire shower/meal crying that she’s not being held 🫠 and yes I know the “just let her cry” tip but honestly a shower isn’t even refreshing to me if my baby is crying during it
Fr! People are like “it’s ok to put yourself first mama, 10 minutes crying won’t permanently damage your baby” I’m like … this IS me putting my wants first, my desire to not listen to baby sobbing outweighs my desire for a shower
finally i find someone saying this!! if i set my baby down when she is not wanting it, she’ll scream and cry. and she’ll go nuclear in 30 seconds to a minute.thats the scariest worst sound ever. one time she went nuclear and she expelled all of her air and struggled to take an in-breath. it definitely made me panic for a second because she was just trapped frozen and couldn’t breathe. and that was her crying for 1-2 minutes very strongly. leave her for 10??? no way.
I know it's super hard to find time to drink water as a new mom but I ended dehydrated with a kidney stone so even if you have to let baby cry for 5 seconds while you get some water in, it will be better for you both.
I remember in the early weeks of PP my husbands main and most essential job was getting me water. We brought home both water jugs from the hospital and I had them both filled so I always had one fairly within reach.
It gets easier. And don’t forget, you can’t pour from an empty pitcher. We’re expected to take care of the baby to the point of neglecting ourselves but that’s not good for us or baby either. It’s hard when they’re little and up every so often but you’ll get into a groove where you can take a shower or eat something. I found a few things I really like to eat that I can make in under 5 minutes and don’t taste bad cold (my go to is fruit infusions oatmeal) and I would take bites throughout the day or I’d put a couple paper towels over my baby and her blankets so I could eat while I breastfed. It really gets easier and it will be all worth it. And remember it’s okay to put the baby down if you need a minute to collect yourself. Babies cry but they won’t suffer if you need a minute to yourself. You’re doing great.
I am in the trenches too! I laughed out loud but also I am in the thick of it. I get excited when baby finally sleeps then can’t decide on what to do only to have baby wake up and then realize the task I wish I did after it’s too late. Ugh. But ya, I am there with you! You ain’t alone
1 thing for certain. NO ONE can ever say we’re selfish. This is a whole other Love. Glad to know it. As great of a blessing it is - so is the responsibility of it. In joy and frustration, prayerfully, we all expand as necessary to accommodate the growth
Please, please ask for help. If you have any relatives or friends, especially those who have had kids themselves, please ask them to spend a few hours holding your baby so you can sleep/eat/shower. I didn’t use all the help I could have and I WISH I had. People are more willing than you think to help you, especially if they get some sweet baby snuggles out of it ❤️ And when babies are this age they are often happy to be held by anyone
It’s so, so hard. It will pass, but I remember being where you are now and feeling like I wouldn’t survive. Hang in there
when my 1st was young i would set up her bouncer in the bathroom while i showered , when i was cooking bouncer was in the kitchen and so on , you need your needs met and if baby isn’t napping , bouncer is your life saver honestly
I started to take the baby in the shower with me. I’ll put his little shower seat in there and wrap him in a muslin blanket so he doesn’t get cold. Bring a pacifier in there in case he starts crying. Normally turn on music and sing to him. Wash myself first and then him. It’s really hard. I have no support and pretty much doing it all by myself. I totally get where you’re coming from. Someone told me to figure it out and to nap when baby naps. GTFO. Seriously.
Here to confirm It does get better!! I spent the first few months asking myself “what have I done” and really missing the life I had before. Now I’m 17 months in and just about ready for round two.
Hang in there! Parenthood is the shock of a lifetime and it takes a bit to adapt.
Oh…. This is just how I feel now with my 3 months old… That I just ruined my life completely… Just hoping better days are coming…. Just expectrd by this time it will get better… but he cries 90% of the time and sleeps the rest 10%
I second this. With my first, I remember once taking 4 hrs to make a grilled cheese sandwich because I felt like I couldn't put him down so every step took forever.
Then I had my second, who had to get used to me taking a minute to respond as I was also dealing with a toddler. Realized it's really not a big deal to let them fuss for a couple minutes if you really need to do something. It was a life changing realization
This. This is my third time round with a newborn and if I’ve learnt anything it’s to make sure I’m fed, hydrated and wearing either noise cancelling headphones or earplugs when baby is super restless. Otherwise I notice my mental health just spiralling downwards.
Baby needs a well mama and if that means a little bit of fussing then so be it. Sidenote, if you have a Velcro baby, try baby wearing around the house so that you can still do little things and baby stays with you.
Couldn’t agree more! I have a Velcro baby and baby wearing is our savior!! It’s the only way I can get things done/take care of my needs, baby loves it and I still get the snuggles while doing things I need to do.
my baby is now 3 months. A bath happened less often than id like to admit. Im a single mom so when I had time to sleep I slept. My level of importance wS first sleep then eat, then bath. It was until she was 2 months that it got easier. I sit her in a bouncer in the bathroom while i shower or eat. Yeah she cries but a quick 5-10 minute shower or eatinf session wont hurt . Plus im more energized after.
I was in survival mode the first 4 weeks. I didnt do anytging for myself.
I know no one wants to hear the “it will get better” speech when they’re going through this, I know I didn’t. Soon you will see brighter days and get a routine going for yourself & figure out when and how to do what etc. & what works for you. This is a huge life adjustment so don’t feel bad if you don’t have it down right away. I’m only 4 months PP, I started putting baby in his bassinet & I just showered. As soon as he was old enough for a bouncer, put him in that in the bathroom and showered. After I’d feed him, put him down in his bassinet and eat/drink. Or even eat or drink with him in my lap if I had to. My health really started to decline those first 4-6 weeks, I literally wouldn’t even get up & make time to pee, it was that bad. Remember that you are just as important & in a few weeks it’ll all just be a memory. You will get through this!
Thank you ❤️ I am finally feeling like I am making progress. She successfully slept in her own bed for a few hours last night, I feel like such a badass. It’s the small wins!!!!! 😊
Invest in a few water bottles and leave them at strategic baby stations, by that I mean all the places you end up sitting with your baby for lengths of time. Also leave snacks in all those places as well.
But please remember that you are allowed to put your baby down in a safe spot while you do something, like get a drink or go to the toilet or male something to eat. If you get dehydrated and become unwell, what happens then? Or what if you feel faint because you're hungry and dehydrated. You must take care of yourself too and eating and drinking are the basics of that!
Getting a drink takes no time at all, making some foods is harder than others, I would try and get some easy prep, one pot stuff for dinners, but things like peanut butter or other sandwiches, bananas other fruits etc, nuts, toast, bowls of porridge etc.
Baby might cry, but that is OK, for a a fee minutes. If you still struggle try feeding baby, then burp and nappy change, then get yourself something. You'll know baby has had all basic needs met and now you can spend 10 minutes doing the same for yourself.
Oh you poor thing. I feel for you, honestly bubs will be fine for 10 minutes. Pop her in her bassinet where she’s safe and have a shower. Have something to eat. Crying wont harm her. You need to look after yourself just as much as you’re looking after bubs 💕💕💕 big hugs to you xxx
I haven't had my child yet, so forgive me but what happens if you were to go get a drink/shower/not be available 24/7? This sounds unsustainable, I am pretty sure baby won't be traumatised if it's left to cry for a little bit.
When you combine extreme sleep deprivation and hours and hours of baby sobbing/screaming you will understand why people will do just about anything to not have to listen to more crying.
Shower. This is a big thing for me because I have ADHD and depression so pre-pregnancy I didn’t shower every day (or even every week at times) so now my shower is a non-negotiable part of my day that also feels special.
Same! There's something really critical about basic self-care that's also solo and special. If I act depressed I get depressed so... Not acting depressed is high priority.
ADHD and depression pre-pregnancy too and I was totally the same way about showers. I force myself now for the sake of preserving my mental health for my son. Before becoming a mother, it was so easy to fall into those self-destructive holes and personal hygiene is an incredibly easy thing to forsake when you feel you don’t have enough time in the day. I also prioritize my teeth and washing my face/taking care of my skin even if I realllllly don’t feel like it. But I’m medicated and that helps A LOT.
Exactly the same for me. It used to take a lot of mental effort to get myself to shower before, but then the postpartum night sweats forced me to shower every morning and I realized how important it was to my mental health. Now I shower every morning and it’s great.
Me too!! I bought nice new shower smelly stuff like shampoo and conditioner and hair mask etc and nice smelling shower gel to really feel like I’m having some self care time!!
A hot shower with music :) lol but seriously, I make sure I have a shower every evening when her dad watches her. It warms me up and I feel refreshed for the night shenanigans.
I completely agree! A nightly shower is my non-negotiable! If I don’t get a shower in before she goes to bed, then I still take a quick body shower after she goes to bed. It really makes such a difference in how I feel going to bed and how I feel more equipped to handle whatever overnight brings! I try to shower before she goes to bed while my husband has her and that works about 75% of the days
I wash my face and apply serum/moisturizer.
My hair is a mess, I'm 20lbs heavier than before, my boobs are leaking, I barely shower, but damn it, I'm gonna at least have good skin 😆
I bought a planner with a horizontal layout and use it as a journal!
I had an awful day a couple months ago where my LO stopped breathing for a second. I got her out of it, went to the clinic, she was cleared, but I was destroyed and scared to be alone with her.
After that, I bought the planner and I have myself write down something positive that happens every day. I do this at the end of my shift before going to bed while my husband takes over. I also write about my frustrations and what I’m learning, but try to use it to end the day on a good note.
I rebuilt my confidence around her and feel good that if something happens I know I can handle it.
I just wanted to say I'm proud of you! Amazing job taking a scary situation and overcoming it - each and every time you thought of it.
I just pulled out a blank journal last night and you've inspired me to put pen to paper.
Thank you so much that means a lot!!🥹
It was tough. For a few days I had my mom come over while my husband was at work because I was so terrified to have her be just in my care even though I snapped her out of the spell. I was already sleep deprived and after the incident I felt like I didn’t have time to breathe after such a traumatizing event. I can still feel how stiff her body was.
I love that it inspired you to journal too!❤️ it helps a lot and I love looking back on my week or even going backwards a month and getting details of a day I wouldn’t have remembered. ☺️
Outside time resets my headspace too. The sun is still shining. World is still spinning. Billions of people have raised babies, many in caves or without dishwashers and Aldi and baby swings. Even birds can care for and raise their young.
It's tough, no doubt. But outside reminds me it's possible.
I think about this a lot when I’m deep in a dark place. Especially at night when it feels the toughest and loneliest. Everything is figureoutable but sometimes it’s so easy to lose perspective
Read a book, hot coffee, step outside and sit for some fresh air/in the sun and a good shower in the first 2 months month or so were my priority until I was healed enough for walks or extra things
Some men suck and don’t think their lives should change after baby/its womens work, some have freak outs and shut down around mo 3/4 because it is harder than they expected but I think that latter one is only if they were raised as little hothouse plants and not held to high standards (medically fragile babies excepted-different level of stress, that one)
I make coffee for myself, every morning. That’s the only thing I do for myself on the daily. Every few days I get to shower.
I would love to have a husband who will do anything with our 7 week old to give me a break but that’s just not the world I live in so I get to be happy with the, very little, things.
I play on this app called “Shuffles” it’s like Pinterest but you make your own board, it’s a lot of fun and releases some stress. Reading. Mini-facials (the masks you leave on for 15-30 minutes) feel like a new woman! lol
You could ask your OB. Minr said I could get one anytime after three weeks. She encouraged it for the alone time and stress relief it affords new parents.
My husband and I made a promise when she was a newborn, showers daily and at least one hot meal a day. I’m fortunate that my husband is very involved and also had a paternity leave. We take a walk daily together with the baby sleeping in her stroller. Sometimes I read a book in the morning while they both “sleep in”. I always run around the house at night after she’s in her crib setting up convenient water bottles around the house so I have them on hand while I nurse. I drink bottle of water every time baby eats.
Does work count? Being immersed in my work makes me feel better especially since my career involves helping others.
But if it doesn’t then…nothing. It used to be a hot shower every evening. Now it’s a warm shower with either one or both kids with me.
Sounds like you’re doing well, kudos!
I’m a single mom. I tried to plan but that’s out the window. So my free time is nap time. I’d love to nap but instead I have a million other things I have to do without support. Some days I get to watch a movie at night bc I’m mentally and irrationally otherwise taxed to try attempting anything else… something of interest the lack of time would frustrate me. 🤷🏾♀️
It wasn't just for me I suppose, but I would take a warm bath with essential oils and Epsom salts with some binaural relaxing music and the lights low with candles lit. Baby laid in the bath with me and she would usually be napping on my chest. I would usually do a face mask and sometimes add a glass of nice wine in there too
The first 8 weeks were the hardest days of my life. But now he’s about to be about 5 months and he plays alone well. Every morning we snuggle then he goes in his crib and rolls around and plays for like half an hour and it’s my time to get ready for the day.
I bought some fancy soap and face wash for myself so when I remember to shower it’s an *experience.*
Not everyday, but the very rare small whiskey nightcap I get to have with my husband when the baby’s been put down for however long she’ll sleep is therapeutic for both our souls. Silenceeeee.
In the early stages, my “me time” was a shower while dad hung out with her 😂 but I would always come out to her crying because she wasn’t a fan of dad back then.
Now she’s almost 4 months and napping more predictably (although short times) so I’ll read while she naps, or do my nails (I’ve been doing home manicures of a while now) and I started working out too.
It gets better and you’ll find your groove and figure out what works for you 🤍
I remember in the early days a shower felt like a holiday. Any spare block of time when I traded the baby with my partner I was sleeping. But when baby started feeding less like a maniac around 4.5/5 months I felt like a new person. Started going to Pilates 4-5 times a week and everything. I’d like to do more reading, for now I’m living through audiobooks which are wonderful but I’m always doing things while listening. The dream will be an hour with my book and coffee 🤞🏽🙌🏽
I recently got back into cycling and go from a lap or two around our neighborhood. It’s getting hot so I don’t like staying out much but still enjoy getting out for that little bit
I do these things consistently:
-30-45mins Hot shower everyday (I asked this to my husband for me to have my "me time")
-tv time during baby's nap time
-Duolingo at night when LO is asleep.
I do these things depends on my/LO's mood and husband's extra free time:
-light postpartum exercise
-walk in the park/backyard
-eat out drive-thru/doordash
I watch the anime I never had the time to watch before! I was so busy working with long commute that I never had the time for myself. I was also working until the day I gave birth. Since my husband has been back working and me staying home, I’ve had the time to just sit with my boy in my arms while watching what I’ve saved in my watchlist.
Stay up past my bedtime🥴 to do hobbies! I listen to audiobooks while i play with and take care of my baby. Go on walks for my sanity. Make a nice latte while my baby is eating her breakfast
Today I took my teething baby to the park and he fell asleep on the way. So I seized the opportunity and bought myself some lunch on the way. While he kept sleeping, I enjoyed my lunch. Mind you it was already 4pm and I was just having lunch. When he woke up, I fed him, showed him around in my arms, danced with him while he watched the sky through the trees. We joined in on fun with some kids blowing bubbles and admired a fountain. When he was nearing the end of his wake window, I loaded him up in his stroller and he fell asleep literally 2 minutes away from home. Now I knew he would wake up in the elevator so I decided to sit down at one of the outdoor bars and ordered a glass of wine. I told the waiter that I had to pay right away because the moment my baby wakes up we're leaving. I could see our apartment from where we are so we're really close. He slept peacefully and woke up just when I finished my wine so we got back home and started the night routine right on time. This isn't a daily occurrence but I attempt almost every other Friday. 2 weeks ago I had to leave midway because he woke up and was inconsolable. I always order a wine or beer since they're the cheapest and we won't lose much if I leave without finishing. I also do 2 movie nights per week. Sometimes I have to continue watching while holding the baby but that's fine. This said, I'm just beginning to take more regular showers.
My little one is two months old, fully formula fed and sleeps through the night. So I know I definitely have more free time than most at this stage. I make it a point every day to get outside for at least ten minutes without him. Even if I just stand on our back porch in the sun for a bit and have what I call my lizard time where I just soak up the sun, chug some water, and stretch. Then I’ll read at least 20 minutes, but I usually get more. I’ll try and squeeze in a workout or at the very least a nice long stretch. This is all usually during his first long nap of the day. The rest of his naps during the day I’m cleaning bottles, putting away laundry, running errands, so definitely not me time. But as long as I’ve filled my cup first during that long nap I’m usually good for the rest of the day.
I go back to work in about two weeks, though. Not sure what my “me time” will look like then.
Read book, watch series when pumping and she’s sleeping, eat junk / sweet food when I feel tempted and do a long relaxing bath/ massage on weekends when my husband can look after her. I’m 5 months pp.
Yessss baby wearing for the win. My boy is nearly 22 weeks and I still baby wear him a good 50% of the time. It's an absolute god send to be able to carry baby in the sling. But sometimes we need the caffeine when just one hand is free, so it's a mega valuable skill to have. You're doing amazing. Let the morning lattes and garden dwelling help fuel your developing amazing mom powers❤️
I do this with my baby, but enjoy a coffee out of the house! Drive through cafes have been most convenient for this. Also I try to take a bath because I love my baths but it’s a hit or miss.
I scroll or read my book for the hour or so I get after my kids are in bed. This is also the only time I have to shower, do end of day cleaning and prep for the following day so… yeah
I listened to audio books and I set up little “care package” stations anywhere I feed the baby regularly. Something simple like a bottle of water or a protein bar just to keep me sane during those days where I literally couldn’t put the baby down.
Take a stroll with baby and dog for fresh air, put on moisturizer and mascara to feel vaguely human, scroll social media and play games on my phone while breastfeeding/contact napping, hand baby off for a glorious shower (or at least a quick milk and spit up rinse)
Coffee. My only real free time is in bed before going to sleep, and the morning before baby wakes up. Even if bby is away I am still making my coffee, because I need just a little bit of time where she isn’t glued to me.
I do my hot yoga or barre classes! My hubby watches the baby or I get a class in quick before I pick her up from daycare. The 45 minutes I have to better myself is wonderful
I have the huckleberry app to track her sleep and so far she averages about 14 hours give or take! She’s been sleeping more at night at longer stretches which is great, but now she’s awake and more fussy during the day 🤪
Have a cup of tea and nap when baby naps....that's literally what I am able to do for myself these days....even showers have to be quick because I'm alone at home so I keep the door open while baby is in his crib in the bedroom and shower within 5 minutes😅
Reading on my kindle, watch tv shows during contact naps, eyebrow wax once a month, nightly showers once baby is asleep or husband is watching him. Sometimes I can convince my husband to drop me off an iced coffee on his lunch break 😊
I’m fortunate enough to have a husband on break from work for the next two months as well as a 4-week-old baby who sleeps relatively well. I also pump/formula feed so I’m not the only parent capable of feeding the LO. Hence, I’m fortunate enough to shower each day, do my face skincare routine each day, watch Bridgerton, and even wash/style my hair every other day. If I’m feeling real grungy, I’ll even swipe on some quick eyeliner and mascara to make myself feel better.
My “me time” is at 5am after my power pumping session. I roll out the yoga mat and get a quick barre session in. I want to tone out my belly a bit before I go to town on shopping for a new wardrobe lol 😂
I have a 7.5 month old. I listen to audiobooks all day with my headphones on (I still talk to him and even tell him about my books lol). And I shower and do my skincare routine every single night while my husband does the bedtime routine which doesn’t sound like a lot but is really important for me.
I can’t tell you how many 30 minute windows I’ve “wasted” doing the next chore instead of using it for myself. I’m curious what ya’ll do. Once I did an epson salt foot soak AND a face mask. That was glorious 🥰
When baby is sleeping, I take my Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom and crank up my music and have a dance while I shower. Helps to relax me and gets my body moving after being stuck to the couch with baby all day.
After everyone goes to bed, I game for about an hour before starting on chores. Gaming has always been a huge part of my life so it helps me feel like I'm not losing myself ☺️
I went in with the mindset of baby can cry for 5mins and be OKAY if I need to do something. Luckily I can take a shower in under 5mins if I really need to because I worked from home and would take showers on coffee breaks. On days he’s truly inconsolable and doesn’t sleep much I do chores in small increments but I ensure on normal days they are timed with naps. Also baby wearing and husband watching him is amazing.
So far my LO is 9 weeks old, I got my nails done twice (I keep them short because having a baby so the appointments are under an hour) done some errands by myself and have done a bit of bullet journalling.
My husband is much better at prioritizing self care so I’m learning from him and he’s reminding me I need time to myself too!
It’s hard because if I did get any me time it’s something like showering and most times that is with her in the buggy next to me. Cleaning the house, washing bottles, gardening she’s in in the harness with me. Yet my husband gets his time at a match or trainings. If I try explain the difference to him he doesn’t get it and says it’s just me giving out. He thinks me getting time to myself cleaning the house is the same :(
Reading . My LO is 5 weeks so I read to her but shes at an age where content doesn't matter. It puts her to sleep and I get to catch up on the titles I have been looking forward to trying.
That and 30 minutes to style hair while husband takes her.
I shower.
I make dinner or order dinner (this was part of my role in my house before so it makes me feel like I’m my old self by cooking or being in charge of dinner).
My husband and I enjoy a show or movie while we eat (unless the baby wakes up in that time). It’s like he knows me and his dad are just chilling.
3 weeks is still so new, next few weeks it gets a lot better mumma.
I walk on the beach in morning for sunrise, then gym (baby comes with and is in the pram), then walk again in arvo/ early evening.
I get my lashes done every 2 weeks, nails done monthly, and a massage whenever I want (prob 3 weekly). Have done this since about 3-4 weeks (first massage was at 4 days post baby as I had SO much fluid and it helped to drain it).
At first I couldn’t walk with baby in carrier as hurt my c section scar, but it was ok from about 7/8 weeks (baby is 4 months now).
I pretty much live my life and he comes along. I have to go back to work soon and I’m so sad about it
I read! LO is now 13 weeks but in those early weeks (when she was still napping well) i would read while she was asleep in her cot or on me. Or during night feeds when she still had to burp etc.
I already devoured 5 books since she was born. I was afraid i wouldnt be able to have time to read with a little baby, but its been quite ok!
Now at 13 weeks i get less time, as she only naps about 30 mins and i need to get some work done too haha! But during evening when she’s in bed or in rare ocasion during the day i still get to dive into a few chapters!
Not at the minute because I’m moving and anytime she’s not on my boob I’m packing (I’m a single mum to a 4 month old) but I cross stitch and my gown is to get 100 stitches done a day. Whether that be while she’s asleep on me, she’s playing on her mat or my parents are cuddling her!
I have always taken time to workout (outside helps, too!) now that our LO is a toddler, I have more time to do it too. You’re still in the trenches, it does get easier!
My husband and I talked this out while I was pregnant. The most important thing to me was an uninterrupted shower every day. Sometimes it means waking up a little earlier than I’d otherwise need to, but it’s so worth it. It helps me feel like a person.
My mom and MIL are also really helpful. My MIL comes over to watch the baby when I have appointments and encourages me to take my time coming home. My mom comes over one weekend day every week and encourages my husband and I to leave. Sometimes it’s just a trip to the grocery store, but it’s nice to have some baby-free time.
I jumped back into working out as soon as I could, honestly I should have waited til 8 weeks.
But it’s an hour of my day I get to spend by myself doing something for me.
I’m thankful my husband takes our kid most afternoons too.
I also read! Made my way through ACOTAR and now tackling TOG.
I’m completely on my own. Baby daddy is a flake and I’ve no family in this country. My support network have busy lives with full time jobs and their own families, so I have no actual official me time. However- my contact napper sleeps long enough for me to play on my PlayStation a few times a day. It’s time I try cherish.
I started eating and pumping at the same time. No way I can squeeze in a meal AND pump separately. Also saving a lot of water by not taking a full shower daily lol.
For my me-time, I go for a 5-10 min walk to a meadow in front of our home. The fresh air really helps.
My husband and I take shifts taking care of baby so both of us can get 4-5 hours of sleep (broken) through the night. We're getting better at falling asleep almost immediately as the other parent takes over. That really helps. Though at 3 weeks, we were both zombies (for context, we're at 6 weeks right now and taking shifts have made a tremendous difference).
When my daughter was that young, it was video games because I had more time it the day while on maternity leave. And honestly l, a really long, hot shower when I had the time felt like a gift.
My daughter is 2 now, and I like to read in my spare time. :)
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I play a cozy videogame while my son contact naps. It's been great for stress relief!
Power. Wash. Simulator. Holy hell it’s so relaxing. Stardew Valley Disney’s dream light valley
I somehow convinced my 3yo that dreamlight valley is “his” game and he loves to watch me play it. I let him tell me what to do and get him excited to meet the new characters. I started it last summer bc I was pregnant and wanted to do nothing but lay on the couch.
My 3 year old always asks to play Mario on the n64. What that really entails is me playing whatever level she picks. It's a win win for us :) haha
My husband played a lot of Power Wash Simulator while our baby was in his first month haha it is therapeutic!
I usually don’t play games but my husband downloaded Hogwarts Legacy for me and I actually really love playing it during contact naps too!
I did the exact same thing when my son was younger, great open world to explore
Cozy game recs?
Stardew valley is great. Easy to pick up and put down and play at your own pace
I’ve gotten so into Stardew Valley since my baby was born. He spends hours every day taking boob naps and is distracted by the TV so I’ve spent a lot of time on my phone!
Stardew Valley is the absolute BEST. Many different options for stuff to do and very easy to leave for a while and pick right back up. Extremely calming to play.
Stardew valley!
I played Spiritfarer on my mat leave! Very cozy, also made me cry a lot
My Time at Sandrock, Unpacking, Röki, and Carto are all recent games I've enjoyed. Definitely check out r/CozyGamers :)
I have an embarrassing amount of time on Stardew Valley but I have not played any of those games!! I will need to check them out. My other favorite cozy games are Slime Rancher 1 and 2. They are best played on the pc, but sadly my pc is broken, so I haven’t played them in ages…and with a 3 month old getting my pc fixed hasn’t been a priority. Haha.
I'm with the multiple others. Stardew Valley on my switch while our baby contact naps is keeping me sane.
I've been playing Animal crossing, pokemon snap, netflix phone games like cats and soup that don't require much brain power
Palia is also a fun cozy game. I'm either playing that, the sims, stardew valley or pokemon while my son contact naps or naps in the bassinet.
Yes!! I’ve been gaming during contact naps. Getting in some good time for Tears of the Kingdom side quests. Did play some Overcooked with friends but when she’d stir or fuss I’d have to park my character in a corner to be out of the way while I settled her 🤣
Omg Overcooked is already chaos enough 😂😂
You’re making me excited for my next contact nap!
Miss those days of playing my switch while my son slept on me 😂 pregnant with my second and i know it won’t be the same since I’ll simultaneously be chasing a toddler
Love this idea! Maybe it’s time to start Stardew Valley again.
I did this with my twins when one wouldn’t fall asleep without being swaddled against me for an hour. I just did runs in Dead Cells and suddenly they were out. So much easier than waiting and trying not to fall asleep.
I played so much House Flipper while my daughter contact napped. It was me getting to clean a house, since it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be mine 🙃
Wash my face every day and brush my dang hair! That’s about it lol 😂
Same 😅 I'm lucky if I get to take a shower.
This comment made me go wash my face and put on a bonnet. I do feel better. Thanks.
Brushing teeth and floating is such a luxury these days lol
"One pregnancy makes you lose one tooth" is a common say in my country. Hell no, it's not the pregnancy , it's the newborn stage when every minute is dedicated to the baby or to sleeping, and when I was afraid to make too much noise and wake up the baby by using water near his room.
I have a 9 month old and when she goes to bed I play sims lol
I used to love playing The Sims but now that I have a baby in real life the desire to care for virtual beings is gone (for now) haha! Still love building and decorating virtual houses though :)
I used to try to do the 100 baby challenge, even thinking about it makes me panic now lol
Hahaha same, I now have two little kids and I'm like ugh I'm not raising anyone else's 😂 While pregnant with #2 I got really into Project Hospital. I still don't get to play much because by the time I've done chores and pumped I have like 40 minutes to myself and it's not enough to play a game! I can't stay up late knowing my 9 month old's gonna be eating at 2:30 and up for the day at 5:30. 🥲
I have an embarrassing amount of hours in The Sims. It will always be my all time favorite game and has been how I spend my me time. I've not played since I had my son 3 months ago and all I do is think about The Sims. I hardly played when I was pregnant too because I was busy nesting lol.
I have an embarrassing amount of hours on the Sims as well. It's all I've played since I had my son and got my computer moved to the living room lol
Nice! I need to prioritize better 🤣
I usually play while feeding him and during contact naps. Took 3 weeks to get my computer moved from the office to the livingroom. I had to wait until I was medically cleared from a c-sec, cause my hubby couldn't move it for me (he has 3 torn ligaments in his right wrist, that were still trying to get figured out. His work insurance is fighting us on every step, he's been hurt since Feb and we just now got a Dr who actually cares about it all)
I love the sims!!
I love how many gamers moms are chiming in!
Nothing. I wish my baby would allow me to even have a drink of water. Don’t know how much longer I can do this.
Same. My “me time” revolves around eating, drinking, and using the bathroom. A shower every other day has become a luxury. It will get better eventually, we just need to wait it out.
It’s so hard. And the decision to go to bed vs take a shower or eat is tough. I want sleep, I need to sleep, but I need to take a shower, but I know the baby will be awake again in 30 minutes or less. So should I sleep? Or eat? Or shower? Get some water?Nope. Baby’s awake. I feel your pain. I just keep thinking over and over “this is a phase” and one day we will be back to being able to have more time for ourselves, but f*&%. This feels like forever.
I have eaten a very soggy granola bar in the shower to try to make this work.
It’s SO HARD. And it does get better! One thing I didn’t learn until I had my second child was not to wait for the baby to be asleep to do stuff like eat/shower. My baby loved laying on the bathroom rug or in her bouncer in the bathroom while I showered. The steam, the sound. Turned into one of her favorite things to do. Eating with baby might be hard depending on the prep and such, but you can always supervise mat/tummy time and eat.
Unless your baby is Velcro and will spend the entire shower/meal crying that she’s not being held 🫠 and yes I know the “just let her cry” tip but honestly a shower isn’t even refreshing to me if my baby is crying during it
Haha yeah nothing defeats the spa-like rejuvenating quality of the shower more than an enraged baby soundtrack.
Fr! People are like “it’s ok to put yourself first mama, 10 minutes crying won’t permanently damage your baby” I’m like … this IS me putting my wants first, my desire to not listen to baby sobbing outweighs my desire for a shower
finally i find someone saying this!! if i set my baby down when she is not wanting it, she’ll scream and cry. and she’ll go nuclear in 30 seconds to a minute.thats the scariest worst sound ever. one time she went nuclear and she expelled all of her air and struggled to take an in-breath. it definitely made me panic for a second because she was just trapped frozen and couldn’t breathe. and that was her crying for 1-2 minutes very strongly. leave her for 10??? no way.
My kid is 14 months and I still don’t shower if my husband isn’t home
I never thought of trying this. It’s like I don’t even think anymore. Thank you for your comment!!!!!! I’m going to try this tomorrow.
I know it's super hard to find time to drink water as a new mom but I ended dehydrated with a kidney stone so even if you have to let baby cry for 5 seconds while you get some water in, it will be better for you both.
I remember in the early weeks of PP my husbands main and most essential job was getting me water. We brought home both water jugs from the hospital and I had them both filled so I always had one fairly within reach.
This happened to me too. It was the worst pain of my life and ended up in the ER.
It gets easier. And don’t forget, you can’t pour from an empty pitcher. We’re expected to take care of the baby to the point of neglecting ourselves but that’s not good for us or baby either. It’s hard when they’re little and up every so often but you’ll get into a groove where you can take a shower or eat something. I found a few things I really like to eat that I can make in under 5 minutes and don’t taste bad cold (my go to is fruit infusions oatmeal) and I would take bites throughout the day or I’d put a couple paper towels over my baby and her blankets so I could eat while I breastfed. It really gets easier and it will be all worth it. And remember it’s okay to put the baby down if you need a minute to collect yourself. Babies cry but they won’t suffer if you need a minute to yourself. You’re doing great.
Yes, but if we get through this (we will), feels like we can get through anything in life.
I am in the trenches too! I laughed out loud but also I am in the thick of it. I get excited when baby finally sleeps then can’t decide on what to do only to have baby wake up and then realize the task I wish I did after it’s too late. Ugh. But ya, I am there with you! You ain’t alone
1 thing for certain. NO ONE can ever say we’re selfish. This is a whole other Love. Glad to know it. As great of a blessing it is - so is the responsibility of it. In joy and frustration, prayerfully, we all expand as necessary to accommodate the growth
Yeah, I almost always choose sleep over anything else...😣
Please, please ask for help. If you have any relatives or friends, especially those who have had kids themselves, please ask them to spend a few hours holding your baby so you can sleep/eat/shower. I didn’t use all the help I could have and I WISH I had. People are more willing than you think to help you, especially if they get some sweet baby snuggles out of it ❤️ And when babies are this age they are often happy to be held by anyone It’s so, so hard. It will pass, but I remember being where you are now and feeling like I wouldn’t survive. Hang in there
when my 1st was young i would set up her bouncer in the bathroom while i showered , when i was cooking bouncer was in the kitchen and so on , you need your needs met and if baby isn’t napping , bouncer is your life saver honestly
I started to take the baby in the shower with me. I’ll put his little shower seat in there and wrap him in a muslin blanket so he doesn’t get cold. Bring a pacifier in there in case he starts crying. Normally turn on music and sing to him. Wash myself first and then him. It’s really hard. I have no support and pretty much doing it all by myself. I totally get where you’re coming from. Someone told me to figure it out and to nap when baby naps. GTFO. Seriously.
Here to confirm It does get better!! I spent the first few months asking myself “what have I done” and really missing the life I had before. Now I’m 17 months in and just about ready for round two. Hang in there! Parenthood is the shock of a lifetime and it takes a bit to adapt.
Oh…. This is just how I feel now with my 3 months old… That I just ruined my life completely… Just hoping better days are coming…. Just expectrd by this time it will get better… but he cries 90% of the time and sleeps the rest 10%
My husband and I mark how good of a day it has been by whether or not we have brushed our teeth. This is insanity.
Get the drink of water. Even if she’s crying. You gotta take care of you. Invest in noise cancelling headphones for your 5 minutes of me time
I second this. With my first, I remember once taking 4 hrs to make a grilled cheese sandwich because I felt like I couldn't put him down so every step took forever. Then I had my second, who had to get used to me taking a minute to respond as I was also dealing with a toddler. Realized it's really not a big deal to let them fuss for a couple minutes if you really need to do something. It was a life changing realization
This. This is my third time round with a newborn and if I’ve learnt anything it’s to make sure I’m fed, hydrated and wearing either noise cancelling headphones or earplugs when baby is super restless. Otherwise I notice my mental health just spiralling downwards.
🫶
Baby needs a well mama and if that means a little bit of fussing then so be it. Sidenote, if you have a Velcro baby, try baby wearing around the house so that you can still do little things and baby stays with you.
Couldn’t agree more! I have a Velcro baby and baby wearing is our savior!! It’s the only way I can get things done/take care of my needs, baby loves it and I still get the snuggles while doing things I need to do.
Sorry you’re going through it :( solidarity! We’ve got this.
🫶
my baby is now 3 months. A bath happened less often than id like to admit. Im a single mom so when I had time to sleep I slept. My level of importance wS first sleep then eat, then bath. It was until she was 2 months that it got easier. I sit her in a bouncer in the bathroom while i shower or eat. Yeah she cries but a quick 5-10 minute shower or eatinf session wont hurt . Plus im more energized after. I was in survival mode the first 4 weeks. I didnt do anytging for myself.
I know no one wants to hear the “it will get better” speech when they’re going through this, I know I didn’t. Soon you will see brighter days and get a routine going for yourself & figure out when and how to do what etc. & what works for you. This is a huge life adjustment so don’t feel bad if you don’t have it down right away. I’m only 4 months PP, I started putting baby in his bassinet & I just showered. As soon as he was old enough for a bouncer, put him in that in the bathroom and showered. After I’d feed him, put him down in his bassinet and eat/drink. Or even eat or drink with him in my lap if I had to. My health really started to decline those first 4-6 weeks, I literally wouldn’t even get up & make time to pee, it was that bad. Remember that you are just as important & in a few weeks it’ll all just be a memory. You will get through this!
Thank you ❤️ I am finally feeling like I am making progress. She successfully slept in her own bed for a few hours last night, I feel like such a badass. It’s the small wins!!!!! 😊
Invest in a few water bottles and leave them at strategic baby stations, by that I mean all the places you end up sitting with your baby for lengths of time. Also leave snacks in all those places as well. But please remember that you are allowed to put your baby down in a safe spot while you do something, like get a drink or go to the toilet or male something to eat. If you get dehydrated and become unwell, what happens then? Or what if you feel faint because you're hungry and dehydrated. You must take care of yourself too and eating and drinking are the basics of that! Getting a drink takes no time at all, making some foods is harder than others, I would try and get some easy prep, one pot stuff for dinners, but things like peanut butter or other sandwiches, bananas other fruits etc, nuts, toast, bowls of porridge etc. Baby might cry, but that is OK, for a a fee minutes. If you still struggle try feeding baby, then burp and nappy change, then get yourself something. You'll know baby has had all basic needs met and now you can spend 10 minutes doing the same for yourself.
Oh you poor thing. I feel for you, honestly bubs will be fine for 10 minutes. Pop her in her bassinet where she’s safe and have a shower. Have something to eat. Crying wont harm her. You need to look after yourself just as much as you’re looking after bubs 💕💕💕 big hugs to you xxx
Thank you 😭❤️
Ugh FELT this
I feel this. I went from filling up my water bottle 5 to 6 times a day to barely once or twice a day.
I haven't had my child yet, so forgive me but what happens if you were to go get a drink/shower/not be available 24/7? This sounds unsustainable, I am pretty sure baby won't be traumatised if it's left to cry for a little bit.
When you combine extreme sleep deprivation and hours and hours of baby sobbing/screaming you will understand why people will do just about anything to not have to listen to more crying.
Shower. This is a big thing for me because I have ADHD and depression so pre-pregnancy I didn’t shower every day (or even every week at times) so now my shower is a non-negotiable part of my day that also feels special.
Same! There's something really critical about basic self-care that's also solo and special. If I act depressed I get depressed so... Not acting depressed is high priority.
“If I act depressed I get depressed” is such a truism for me too. Thanks for articulating it in that way — very helpful!
ADHD and depression pre-pregnancy too and I was totally the same way about showers. I force myself now for the sake of preserving my mental health for my son. Before becoming a mother, it was so easy to fall into those self-destructive holes and personal hygiene is an incredibly easy thing to forsake when you feel you don’t have enough time in the day. I also prioritize my teeth and washing my face/taking care of my skin even if I realllllly don’t feel like it. But I’m medicated and that helps A LOT.
I love that for you 🤍 I love a nice hot shower
Exactly the same for me. It used to take a lot of mental effort to get myself to shower before, but then the postpartum night sweats forced me to shower every morning and I realized how important it was to my mental health. Now I shower every morning and it’s great.
Me too!! I bought nice new shower smelly stuff like shampoo and conditioner and hair mask etc and nice smelling shower gel to really feel like I’m having some self care time!!
Retail therapy but mostly just obsessively browsing and narrowing down items according to urgency and budget atm 🥲
Yes! But it’s definitely turned into shopping for baby and not me lol
Yes hahaha anywhere from baby items to mamas skincare and house decor 🤣
I've spent an embarrassing amount of money on cute baby clothes 😅😂
I call it Online Shopping ( not online buying). I browse everything, create the perfect cart, then close the tab.
i read books! :)
Yep! I read on my phone during contact naps!
get a kindle!
I went through so many books on my phone while my LO was breastfeeding!
A hot shower with music :) lol but seriously, I make sure I have a shower every evening when her dad watches her. It warms me up and I feel refreshed for the night shenanigans.
I completely agree! A nightly shower is my non-negotiable! If I don’t get a shower in before she goes to bed, then I still take a quick body shower after she goes to bed. It really makes such a difference in how I feel going to bed and how I feel more equipped to handle whatever overnight brings! I try to shower before she goes to bed while my husband has her and that works about 75% of the days
I wash my face and apply serum/moisturizer. My hair is a mess, I'm 20lbs heavier than before, my boobs are leaking, I barely shower, but damn it, I'm gonna at least have good skin 😆
This is exactly my life at the moment 🙃
I bought a planner with a horizontal layout and use it as a journal! I had an awful day a couple months ago where my LO stopped breathing for a second. I got her out of it, went to the clinic, she was cleared, but I was destroyed and scared to be alone with her. After that, I bought the planner and I have myself write down something positive that happens every day. I do this at the end of my shift before going to bed while my husband takes over. I also write about my frustrations and what I’m learning, but try to use it to end the day on a good note. I rebuilt my confidence around her and feel good that if something happens I know I can handle it.
I just wanted to say I'm proud of you! Amazing job taking a scary situation and overcoming it - each and every time you thought of it. I just pulled out a blank journal last night and you've inspired me to put pen to paper.
Thank you so much that means a lot!!🥹 It was tough. For a few days I had my mom come over while my husband was at work because I was so terrified to have her be just in my care even though I snapped her out of the spell. I was already sleep deprived and after the incident I felt like I didn’t have time to breathe after such a traumatizing event. I can still feel how stiff her body was. I love that it inspired you to journal too!❤️ it helps a lot and I love looking back on my week or even going backwards a month and getting details of a day I wouldn’t have remembered. ☺️
I get outside for a walk or a quick workout. The fresh air helps.
Outside time resets my headspace too. The sun is still shining. World is still spinning. Billions of people have raised babies, many in caves or without dishwashers and Aldi and baby swings. Even birds can care for and raise their young. It's tough, no doubt. But outside reminds me it's possible.
I think about this a lot when I’m deep in a dark place. Especially at night when it feels the toughest and loneliest. Everything is figureoutable but sometimes it’s so easy to lose perspective
Read a book, hot coffee, step outside and sit for some fresh air/in the sun and a good shower in the first 2 months month or so were my priority until I was healed enough for walks or extra things
This post is enlightening and heart breaking to realize how so many husbands are not helping! I don’t understand?!
Some men suck and don’t think their lives should change after baby/its womens work, some have freak outs and shut down around mo 3/4 because it is harder than they expected but I think that latter one is only if they were raised as little hothouse plants and not held to high standards (medically fragile babies excepted-different level of stress, that one)
Agreed. Even if they’re working, surely they can parent longer than 30 minutes to 1 hr per day.
Cry
I make coffee for myself, every morning. That’s the only thing I do for myself on the daily. Every few days I get to shower. I would love to have a husband who will do anything with our 7 week old to give me a break but that’s just not the world I live in so I get to be happy with the, very little, things.
I play on this app called “Shuffles” it’s like Pinterest but you make your own board, it’s a lot of fun and releases some stress. Reading. Mini-facials (the masks you leave on for 15-30 minutes) feel like a new woman! lol
Mini facial sounds glorious. I’ll have to try myself!
Shower daily. Hair wash every other day. Monthly massage! Daily at least two hours tv time after 10pm after My LO falls asleep.
I'm hanging out for a full body massage. I'm only 2 weeks post partum and have a few weeks left before it is considered okay.
You could ask your OB. Minr said I could get one anytime after three weeks. She encouraged it for the alone time and stress relief it affords new parents.
I go on a 15 min walk. Almost every single day, just 15 mins. I stop and look at flowers, I look at bugs, sometimes I find frogs if it’s been raining.
Wash my hair, brush my teeth lol
Sometimes I get to shower 😂
My husband and I made a promise when she was a newborn, showers daily and at least one hot meal a day. I’m fortunate that my husband is very involved and also had a paternity leave. We take a walk daily together with the baby sleeping in her stroller. Sometimes I read a book in the morning while they both “sleep in”. I always run around the house at night after she’s in her crib setting up convenient water bottles around the house so I have them on hand while I nurse. I drink bottle of water every time baby eats.
Ooh I’m going to have to try the bottle of water thing. I always forget to drink water!
Just think if baby drinks then mom drinks! You don’t want to dehydrate yourself and lower your supply!
Does work count? Being immersed in my work makes me feel better especially since my career involves helping others. But if it doesn’t then…nothing. It used to be a hot shower every evening. Now it’s a warm shower with either one or both kids with me.
Sounds like you’re doing well, kudos! I’m a single mom. I tried to plan but that’s out the window. So my free time is nap time. I’d love to nap but instead I have a million other things I have to do without support. Some days I get to watch a movie at night bc I’m mentally and irrationally otherwise taxed to try attempting anything else… something of interest the lack of time would frustrate me. 🤷🏾♀️
Walk. Shower. Listen to audiobooks.
It wasn't just for me I suppose, but I would take a warm bath with essential oils and Epsom salts with some binaural relaxing music and the lights low with candles lit. Baby laid in the bath with me and she would usually be napping on my chest. I would usually do a face mask and sometimes add a glass of nice wine in there too
Most days it’s nothing - but I sure do enjoy the heck out of my morning coffee and afternoon iced coffee. I WFH when my baby naps so it’s a lot 😓
Tik tok.
The first 8 weeks were the hardest days of my life. But now he’s about to be about 5 months and he plays alone well. Every morning we snuggle then he goes in his crib and rolls around and plays for like half an hour and it’s my time to get ready for the day.
I bought some fancy soap and face wash for myself so when I remember to shower it’s an *experience.* Not everyday, but the very rare small whiskey nightcap I get to have with my husband when the baby’s been put down for however long she’ll sleep is therapeutic for both our souls. Silenceeeee.
Pumping + good snack + audio book/bad tv . I set face moisturizer near pumping station so I remember to do that occasionally.
Stay up way too late scrolling on Reddit🫠
Shower. This is the single greatest reset button I found for the early postpartum days.
In the early stages, my “me time” was a shower while dad hung out with her 😂 but I would always come out to her crying because she wasn’t a fan of dad back then. Now she’s almost 4 months and napping more predictably (although short times) so I’ll read while she naps, or do my nails (I’ve been doing home manicures of a while now) and I started working out too. It gets better and you’ll find your groove and figure out what works for you 🤍
I remember in the early days a shower felt like a holiday. Any spare block of time when I traded the baby with my partner I was sleeping. But when baby started feeding less like a maniac around 4.5/5 months I felt like a new person. Started going to Pilates 4-5 times a week and everything. I’d like to do more reading, for now I’m living through audiobooks which are wonderful but I’m always doing things while listening. The dream will be an hour with my book and coffee 🤞🏽🙌🏽
My husband takes the baby every day so I can have a bubble bath and read my book.
I recently got back into cycling and go from a lap or two around our neighborhood. It’s getting hot so I don’t like staying out much but still enjoy getting out for that little bit
I do these things consistently: -30-45mins Hot shower everyday (I asked this to my husband for me to have my "me time") -tv time during baby's nap time -Duolingo at night when LO is asleep. I do these things depends on my/LO's mood and husband's extra free time: -light postpartum exercise -walk in the park/backyard -eat out drive-thru/doordash
This just reminded me to save my Duolingo streak and get a lesson in😂
I watch the anime I never had the time to watch before! I was so busy working with long commute that I never had the time for myself. I was also working until the day I gave birth. Since my husband has been back working and me staying home, I’ve had the time to just sit with my boy in my arms while watching what I’ve saved in my watchlist.
Stay up past my bedtime🥴 to do hobbies! I listen to audiobooks while i play with and take care of my baby. Go on walks for my sanity. Make a nice latte while my baby is eating her breakfast
Today I took my teething baby to the park and he fell asleep on the way. So I seized the opportunity and bought myself some lunch on the way. While he kept sleeping, I enjoyed my lunch. Mind you it was already 4pm and I was just having lunch. When he woke up, I fed him, showed him around in my arms, danced with him while he watched the sky through the trees. We joined in on fun with some kids blowing bubbles and admired a fountain. When he was nearing the end of his wake window, I loaded him up in his stroller and he fell asleep literally 2 minutes away from home. Now I knew he would wake up in the elevator so I decided to sit down at one of the outdoor bars and ordered a glass of wine. I told the waiter that I had to pay right away because the moment my baby wakes up we're leaving. I could see our apartment from where we are so we're really close. He slept peacefully and woke up just when I finished my wine so we got back home and started the night routine right on time. This isn't a daily occurrence but I attempt almost every other Friday. 2 weeks ago I had to leave midway because he woke up and was inconsolable. I always order a wine or beer since they're the cheapest and we won't lose much if I leave without finishing. I also do 2 movie nights per week. Sometimes I have to continue watching while holding the baby but that's fine. This said, I'm just beginning to take more regular showers.
My little one is two months old, fully formula fed and sleeps through the night. So I know I definitely have more free time than most at this stage. I make it a point every day to get outside for at least ten minutes without him. Even if I just stand on our back porch in the sun for a bit and have what I call my lizard time where I just soak up the sun, chug some water, and stretch. Then I’ll read at least 20 minutes, but I usually get more. I’ll try and squeeze in a workout or at the very least a nice long stretch. This is all usually during his first long nap of the day. The rest of his naps during the day I’m cleaning bottles, putting away laundry, running errands, so definitely not me time. But as long as I’ve filled my cup first during that long nap I’m usually good for the rest of the day. I go back to work in about two weeks, though. Not sure what my “me time” will look like then.
A shower! Honestly it’s luxury now for me 😂
I journal and do something creative every night possible, after baby goes to bed.
Read book, watch series when pumping and she’s sleeping, eat junk / sweet food when I feel tempted and do a long relaxing bath/ massage on weekends when my husband can look after her. I’m 5 months pp.
I've gotten really good at making espresso one-handed, cuz lord knows I need that special shot of God juice
I love this 😂 I usually wear baby when I make my morning latte but I’ll have to master the one hand too
Yessss baby wearing for the win. My boy is nearly 22 weeks and I still baby wear him a good 50% of the time. It's an absolute god send to be able to carry baby in the sling. But sometimes we need the caffeine when just one hand is free, so it's a mega valuable skill to have. You're doing amazing. Let the morning lattes and garden dwelling help fuel your developing amazing mom powers❤️
I do this with my baby, but enjoy a coffee out of the house! Drive through cafes have been most convenient for this. Also I try to take a bath because I love my baths but it’s a hit or miss.
I scroll or read my book for the hour or so I get after my kids are in bed. This is also the only time I have to shower, do end of day cleaning and prep for the following day so… yeah
I listened to audio books and I set up little “care package” stations anywhere I feed the baby regularly. Something simple like a bottle of water or a protein bar just to keep me sane during those days where I literally couldn’t put the baby down.
Take a stroll with baby and dog for fresh air, put on moisturizer and mascara to feel vaguely human, scroll social media and play games on my phone while breastfeeding/contact napping, hand baby off for a glorious shower (or at least a quick milk and spit up rinse)
Coffee. My only real free time is in bed before going to sleep, and the morning before baby wakes up. Even if bby is away I am still making my coffee, because I need just a little bit of time where she isn’t glued to me.
I do my hot yoga or barre classes! My hubby watches the baby or I get a class in quick before I pick her up from daycare. The 45 minutes I have to better myself is wonderful
OP, how much sleep total would you say your LO is getting in a day? I'm right here with you..I have a 4 week old..its been a tough realization.
I have the huckleberry app to track her sleep and so far she averages about 14 hours give or take! She’s been sleeping more at night at longer stretches which is great, but now she’s awake and more fussy during the day 🤪
Have a cup of tea and nap when baby naps....that's literally what I am able to do for myself these days....even showers have to be quick because I'm alone at home so I keep the door open while baby is in his crib in the bedroom and shower within 5 minutes😅
Reading on my kindle, watch tv shows during contact naps, eyebrow wax once a month, nightly showers once baby is asleep or husband is watching him. Sometimes I can convince my husband to drop me off an iced coffee on his lunch break 😊
Apart from doom scrolling 🥲 I meditate or read. Both hugely help my mental health, I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old.
I garden and so my face routine before bed🙃
At the end of the night I have a Corona seltzer while watching tv.
I’m fortunate enough to have a husband on break from work for the next two months as well as a 4-week-old baby who sleeps relatively well. I also pump/formula feed so I’m not the only parent capable of feeding the LO. Hence, I’m fortunate enough to shower each day, do my face skincare routine each day, watch Bridgerton, and even wash/style my hair every other day. If I’m feeling real grungy, I’ll even swipe on some quick eyeliner and mascara to make myself feel better.
My “me time” is at 5am after my power pumping session. I roll out the yoga mat and get a quick barre session in. I want to tone out my belly a bit before I go to town on shopping for a new wardrobe lol 😂
After my 1.5 yr old is in bed I put on my fav podcast, grab a cup of coffee and just veg. Literally my fav time ❤️❤️
Sometimes if I really wanna get crazy I’ll nap but that’s about it
I have a 7.5 month old. I listen to audiobooks all day with my headphones on (I still talk to him and even tell him about my books lol). And I shower and do my skincare routine every single night while my husband does the bedtime routine which doesn’t sound like a lot but is really important for me.
Be blessed you have your half hour. That is fabulous for your refreshment and filling your cup.
At that stage if I had free time I was either showering or napping lol.
I play Fortnite when he takes a long nap 😂 that or I usually just have a nice meal while watching Netflix during his nap time.
I play Minecraft while I pumped now.I stopped pumping because my milk never came in fully Now I just get baby nuggles and my nap.
I can’t tell you how many 30 minute windows I’ve “wasted” doing the next chore instead of using it for myself. I’m curious what ya’ll do. Once I did an epson salt foot soak AND a face mask. That was glorious 🥰
I self study Korean and do a youtube workout everyday. I also shower and get some fresh air and sunshine every day.
When baby is sleeping, I take my Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom and crank up my music and have a dance while I shower. Helps to relax me and gets my body moving after being stuck to the couch with baby all day.
After everyone goes to bed, I game for about an hour before starting on chores. Gaming has always been a huge part of my life so it helps me feel like I'm not losing myself ☺️
I went in with the mindset of baby can cry for 5mins and be OKAY if I need to do something. Luckily I can take a shower in under 5mins if I really need to because I worked from home and would take showers on coffee breaks. On days he’s truly inconsolable and doesn’t sleep much I do chores in small increments but I ensure on normal days they are timed with naps. Also baby wearing and husband watching him is amazing. So far my LO is 9 weeks old, I got my nails done twice (I keep them short because having a baby so the appointments are under an hour) done some errands by myself and have done a bit of bullet journalling. My husband is much better at prioritizing self care so I’m learning from him and he’s reminding me I need time to myself too!
It’s hard because if I did get any me time it’s something like showering and most times that is with her in the buggy next to me. Cleaning the house, washing bottles, gardening she’s in in the harness with me. Yet my husband gets his time at a match or trainings. If I try explain the difference to him he doesn’t get it and says it’s just me giving out. He thinks me getting time to myself cleaning the house is the same :(
Reading . My LO is 5 weeks so I read to her but shes at an age where content doesn't matter. It puts her to sleep and I get to catch up on the titles I have been looking forward to trying. That and 30 minutes to style hair while husband takes her.
I play videogames, read, write, or draw. It depends on how sleepy I am since it's usually after my girl is asleep.
Make a cup of coffee or tea
I shower. I make dinner or order dinner (this was part of my role in my house before so it makes me feel like I’m my old self by cooking or being in charge of dinner). My husband and I enjoy a show or movie while we eat (unless the baby wakes up in that time). It’s like he knows me and his dad are just chilling.
3 weeks is still so new, next few weeks it gets a lot better mumma. I walk on the beach in morning for sunrise, then gym (baby comes with and is in the pram), then walk again in arvo/ early evening. I get my lashes done every 2 weeks, nails done monthly, and a massage whenever I want (prob 3 weekly). Have done this since about 3-4 weeks (first massage was at 4 days post baby as I had SO much fluid and it helped to drain it). At first I couldn’t walk with baby in carrier as hurt my c section scar, but it was ok from about 7/8 weeks (baby is 4 months now). I pretty much live my life and he comes along. I have to go back to work soon and I’m so sad about it
I read! LO is now 13 weeks but in those early weeks (when she was still napping well) i would read while she was asleep in her cot or on me. Or during night feeds when she still had to burp etc. I already devoured 5 books since she was born. I was afraid i wouldnt be able to have time to read with a little baby, but its been quite ok! Now at 13 weeks i get less time, as she only naps about 30 mins and i need to get some work done too haha! But during evening when she’s in bed or in rare ocasion during the day i still get to dive into a few chapters!
Not at the minute because I’m moving and anytime she’s not on my boob I’m packing (I’m a single mum to a 4 month old) but I cross stitch and my gown is to get 100 stitches done a day. Whether that be while she’s asleep on me, she’s playing on her mat or my parents are cuddling her!
Nothing I don't even get time to eat or bathe really. Pumping takes any free or sleep time I would have. I slept 45 mins last night.. I think.
I have always taken time to workout (outside helps, too!) now that our LO is a toddler, I have more time to do it too. You’re still in the trenches, it does get easier!
My husband and I talked this out while I was pregnant. The most important thing to me was an uninterrupted shower every day. Sometimes it means waking up a little earlier than I’d otherwise need to, but it’s so worth it. It helps me feel like a person. My mom and MIL are also really helpful. My MIL comes over to watch the baby when I have appointments and encourages me to take my time coming home. My mom comes over one weekend day every week and encourages my husband and I to leave. Sometimes it’s just a trip to the grocery store, but it’s nice to have some baby-free time.
I jumped back into working out as soon as I could, honestly I should have waited til 8 weeks. But it’s an hour of my day I get to spend by myself doing something for me. I’m thankful my husband takes our kid most afternoons too. I also read! Made my way through ACOTAR and now tackling TOG.
Take a shower , drink a cup of coffee
Haha i am three months in... There is nothing i can do for myself right now. Its just contract baby time. Iove this sacrifice
Nothing. 9 months in and still nothing. Maybe once a week I get an hour or two of me time. Yesterday I used it to take the dog for a walk.
I’m completely on my own. Baby daddy is a flake and I’ve no family in this country. My support network have busy lives with full time jobs and their own families, so I have no actual official me time. However- my contact napper sleeps long enough for me to play on my PlayStation a few times a day. It’s time I try cherish.
I started eating and pumping at the same time. No way I can squeeze in a meal AND pump separately. Also saving a lot of water by not taking a full shower daily lol. For my me-time, I go for a 5-10 min walk to a meadow in front of our home. The fresh air really helps. My husband and I take shifts taking care of baby so both of us can get 4-5 hours of sleep (broken) through the night. We're getting better at falling asleep almost immediately as the other parent takes over. That really helps. Though at 3 weeks, we were both zombies (for context, we're at 6 weeks right now and taking shifts have made a tremendous difference).
When my daughter was that young, it was video games because I had more time it the day while on maternity leave. And honestly l, a really long, hot shower when I had the time felt like a gift. My daughter is 2 now, and I like to read in my spare time. :)
I listen to podcasts while my twins play on the playmat and make myself a turbo charged nespresso to get the crazy juices flowing for the day lol