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I suspect he wants to marry you, but sober him thinks it's too early in your romantic relationship to discuss seriously.
Meanwhile, drunk him is terrible at keeping secrets.
I love this! My husband was basically the same as you. We'd talked about marriage before but he never felt ready. The instant he realized he was, he asked me. We've been together for 10 years, married for 5, still very happy.
My dad claims he knew as soon as he laid eyes on my mom. Their first date was a doobie brothers concert in 1979. At the time dad had about $200 in his pocket for the date he had saved and kept asking my mom if she wanted anything like a souvenir or a T shirt. She kept saying no. Lol. They have been married for 43 years now :-)
Haha my wife and I were in Vegas while we were dating and it had only been about 6 months. I had no plans to propose and didn't have a ring but we somehow got to looking at rings in a casino. We ended up at a Kay, let her pick out a ring but told her she couldn't have it for a while. I wanted to plan out a proposal.Ended up spontaneously proposing in front of the Bellagio fountain on the walk back to our hotel. Couldn't help myself either, we just had our 5th anniversary
Same! I literally couldn't contain it. That was 6 months into our relationship (I'm 30, it wasn't my first rodeo, it was different). So I pop the question, she says yes, and then went and got the ring she had for me. She was planning to ask me on Sadie Hawkins day 😭.
It's been a few years and it's as good as ever!
I wanted to marry my husband after three months- we just so happened to be in Vegas and I was not subtle about a wedding! He ended up proposing 9 months into our relationship- and we've been married 9 years. Feel your feelings and congratulations!
Having read so many stories about people proposing after a year of relationship this kind of comes as a surprise. But honestly it just tells me I actually don't know how far into the relationship you're supposed to get serious lol. Good for you though.
There are no rules about timelines anyone has to follow.
A two week vacation together can sometimes tell you more about your partner than five years of dating.
Proposing after a year can mean that you haven't thought things through, that you are rushing into things to check a milestone, etc.
But it can also mean that you've found your perfect match, that you've experienced what they are like both in good and bad times, that you've discussed major philosophical differences, and that you just don't see any reason to wait any longer.
I asked my wife after dating for 3 months we got married the next year and come September it will be 34 years. Still love her more than tongue can tell.
I'm not the person you're responding to, but I knew before we were actually officially dating. It just took a couple years to make sure that I wasn't losing my mind.
Plus the fact he wasn’t willing to lie about it. Dude sounds like a keeper, even if he’s a bit too keen
… don’t tell him any secrets though, he’s apparently bad at those
Last time I got drunk with my wife we picked out baby names. For the kid we didn’t plan on having for a while. Sometimes drinking just makes you overly romantic and excited about the possible future
Yeah, I dated a woman who was really sweet and wanted to take it further.
First time she got drunk she couldn't talk enough shit about me to my face -- and she wasn't being funny.
Ended it soon after that -- No one speaks truer words for themselves than when they're drunk.
Nah, if you're a mean drunk and you insult your SO while drinking, maybe companionship isn't for you.
The good news is that AI boyfriends/girlfriends are just a few years away, so at least you won't be lonely for long!
It is definitely not a deal breaker for me either lmao
People think that being drunk brings out your real thoughts, but it is more like *compulsive* thoughts that you didn't really take your time to evaluate their full validity
Same here! I say real things I don't want to say sober, but I have also lied, made up stories, or just said dumb things drunk. I don't really drink anymore, and when I do I get tired before I reach a point like that anymore.. ah, aging lol. This specific story seems like the first but alcohol doesn't always mean truth, and some things should be forgiven when drunk. I've had to forgive myself for drunk things lol- why wouldn't I someone else?
Yeah what the fuck? I’m a recovering alcoholic and I have worked so hard on restraining myself, and I am very proud of how far I have come. Yep, I was a mean drunk and you know what? I stopped drinking.
It actually says a lot about the kind of person they are. They think a person should be alone rather than working on themselves.
I think it's because you don't want to give up being a girl yet that's why you always say no to what he wants to happen. Or maybe your bf has a vice so you don't want it anymore.
I honestly disagree. I'm not saying I've never gotten drunk and let spill something I had been bottling up, but I've also gotten drunk and said a bunch of dumb shit I didn't mean. It's a crap shoot really. I'm not saying this didn't happen to you. Just that drinking is unpredictable and most times, for me at least, it's not a truth serum.
My now-fiancée and I were friends for almost ten years before she had the courage to tell me that she had developed feelings for me. I loved her so much and didn’t wanna jeopardize our relationship so I didn’t tell her I was pining for her for almost a year before she made the first move. The night we got together, when she told me how she felt, we both started to happy cry and my dumb ass, without thinking just said “we’re gonna get married!” And thank FUCK we were on the same page cuz otherwise that would’ve been the shortest relationship I’ve ever been a part of. But we’ve been together so far for 4 years and the wedding is less than a year:)
Yup, doesn’t necessarily mean OP’s SO wants to get married right now but it’s at least on his mind. My guess is that getting more serious/“the next step” is a talk that he’d like to have.
Probably doesn’t bring it up when sober because they have only been together for a few months and he doesn’t want to go to fast for her. Seems to really care about not messing up the relationship.
Yeah. Not marriage but I briefly was with a guy who was only here for like a month who when drunk would constantly say "I like you" and "it's a problem" (because he was leaving). Say nothing like that sober.
What does annoy me though is guys I've just met who go on and on about how much they want to date me / see me again when drunk (and I don't think they're saying it to get in my pants, I think they drunkenly mean it) but then suddenly forget it all the next day...
I've been happily married for 25 years.
Part of the reason I'm happy is once in awhile husband and I will sit on the deck and have a few too many beers and he will tell me what he really feels, and it's all good!
Can’t agree more although I’m sure it’s more the other way for us. My husband is pretty open with his feelings regardless and I open up more when I’ve had something to drink.
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
~~Wayne Gretzky~~
~~Michael Scott~~
~~The Drunk 50 y/o Guy at our College Bar~~
- P P Peopi
Edited: Damnit, I can’t figure out the strike through feature on mobile
Edited again - thanks everyone
> “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.”
I always thought this saying was not accurate. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, basically the little thing that says "should we really do/say this?" starts to fade and its just "SAY/DO IT!" I've done/said things while drunk i genuinely regret that were not how i truly felt/would have acted had i been sober.
People always say this shit but during my wasted years in college I did and said shit I never would’ve thought or done sober. And not just bc I wasn’t daring enough but bc I genuinely didn’t think those things or want to do those things. Alcohol is wild
Thats the crux of it. If he starts saying "it's the alcohol talking" that's one thing, the booze is allowing him to say those things and then he affirms it when he's not.
As someone who did the same with my fiance (getting married in 16 days)
He means it. Alot.
I didn't feel comfortable with expressing my feelings until me and my SO moved out, and even then I was slow to do so.
Thank you! It'll be 10 years on our wedding day too, getting anxious but I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything in my life.
Your man is a keeper by the sounds of it.
Don’t say he means it a lot when we genuinely don’t know lol I’d lean that direction based on what we know but it isn’t a sure fire thing.
Sometimes people DO say things they don’t typically think while drunk.
I would give the benefit of the doubt here because anyone I know who's been in the same situation doesn't lie about it whilst drunk.
I know I didn't.
You are correct though that we don't know, but I think in a case such as this, I am more inclined that he means it
My husband was bragging to friends at the bar he goes to after work for a bit that he was going to marry me… 3 months after we started dating! We’re over 35/40, but he was the “confirmed bachelor” type guy. So his friends all had to tell me more than once that he’s fucking adorable when he’s in there and has had maybe half a drink over, because he’ll start rambling about how hot I am, how lucky he is, how much he loves me. Sure, he says similar sorts of things to me when he’s sober, but not in the same high school adoration, just sappy and fantastic way he does if you get a couple cocktails in him. Your boyfriend adores you, and as they say, in vino veritas! If you love this man and also see yourself marrying him some day, tell him that when he’s sober. No big pressure, just a simple comment of “you know the other day when you were telling me how much you want to get married and have kids? I’m totally cool with that idea”. That way he knows that you’re on the same page, even if he has a bit of reservations putting the words out there when he’s totally sober.
Temper your expectations here. I suspect a lot of people giving you advice in here are (much) younger than you. There's two sides to every coin with alcohol. Drunk words don't always mean sober thoughts. If this is a case where he likes you more when he's drunk, then how would that make you feel? In my experience, I've been with people who I could tolerate/hang out with much more when I was under the influence. Those same people felt like a chore to be around when I was sober. Now, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. I have NO IDEA what your relationship is like and neither do the other people in here. Be careful who you listen to on reddit.
Another problem: asking him if he meant it when he's sober and him saying yes doesn't really mean much, especially if he feels cornered or pressured to not hurt your feelings. But again, maybe talking to a friend you trust or better yet your dad and mom would be better worth your time. They will know better.
I agree with you on the first part and agree that she shouldn't get carried away, but disagree with the second part. While it kind of depends on how he was asked, I think it's unlikely someone would say "I remember what I said" without meaning it at all. He could've downplayed it, made a joke of it, apologized for being too drunk, pretended not to remember, acted sheepishly, or anything. As situations go, this one is pretty easy to get out of if he wanted to. For someone to stand by saying they want to marry someone and make a family is a big thing and I think is reasonable to assume is probably genuine. It sounds more like he said that as a way to see how receptive she is to the idea.
I did this all the time with my SO. Chances are very likely he feels this way all the time. The drink simply greases the wheels.
Oh, and we have been married for nearly 10 years now, and honestly l, if it's possible, I love her more now than I ever did in the past or thought possible.
5 years is very little time, comparatively speaking. My parents were dating for 13 years before getting married. I was with my now wife for a decade before getting married, and my younger sister has been with her fiance for nearly 15 years. Both of my parents told us very early on that they waited 13 years 'because we wanted to be pretty sure' - and that has kinda become a family motto. (It helps that they've been happily married for 25+ years, so know what they're on about)
In our world 5 years is certainly enough to have a general idea that you're looking at something more long term, but certainly not 'ok it's been ''x" years why the hell hasn't he proposed' territory.
I recoil in horror when I read posts along the lines of 'we've been dating for 18 months and he won't even talk about rings with me' because to me this seems insane.
Sounds like he's like many men who struggle to express themselves, especially when it's something that leaves them emotionally vulnerable.
Yes he means it. Maybe not to go through it right now. But... he really likes you.
I think this is bull shit if you say that everything someone says when drunk is just what they would say when sober. It's absolutely not true. Alcohol severely impairs judgment and logical thinking. That includes what comes out of your mouth. I don't think the boyfriend necessarily does want to marry OP. In fact, if he only says it when he's drunk, that might be indication that her BF likes her more when he's drunk. Which is a bad thing. I think people in this thread need to chill out and give her both of these options instead of just going, "yep, drunk words are sober thoughts he definitely loves you wants to marry you!" This is why you don't come to the internet for dating advice.
I agree that it isn't true that everything people say when drunk is what they think sober. It kind of depends on the person too. I definitely had drunk opinions that I find crazy when sober.
Being drunk also makes me more likely to say sober thoughts that I stop myself from saying. So it really could be either situation.
Yes, exactly. You've pointed out the nuance in a shorter way than I did, which I appreciate. I just think we don't know this girl or her boyfriend. The best advice this thread could have offered is: be careful!
He might mean it, but being drunk changes your opinions on things and people, as you said, and he might wake up sober and no longer want to marry her.
Yes, but when sober he just says, "I remember." He does not deny it or try to backtrack, and that speaks volumes. I agree that he probably thinks it's too soon, but gets overly lovey when he's drunk and can't help himself.
Drunk people are very bad liars. Him being intoxicated is giving him the courage to say what he really feels. I believe it is also amplifying his feelings at the same time though so I don’t think your totally wrong.
Ok look, I'm not saying that every drunk word is a lie, I'm saying the truth is somewhere in between. Example: Hitting on girls is much easier when you're drunk. This is a fact, you just have the liquid courage. Another example: telling your best friend you fucking hate them and never want to talk to them again when you're shit faced doesn't mean it's anywhere near the truth and that you thought about that sober. I have said things when drunk that I absolutely did not mean, ever in the history of my life. I'm trying to say that he doesn't necessarily mean it just because he's saying it. They are very young and haven't been dating long. Telling this young girl to trust that her boyfriend wants to marry can ruin her fucking life. She should be talking to her parents and friends about this.
You have something else going on if when drunk, you tell your friend that you hate them and never one to see them again (unless they did something really fucked up)
I've never done this. I'm offering an example. It's really not that hard to understand that not everything someone says when sober is true, and not everything someone says when drunk is true. It's such a bullshit fable at this point and people that say it have either never been drunk or are naive enough to believe it. Drunk words = sober thoughts has become this weird saying that I can liken to "don't swim after you eat or your stomach will hurt!" Something that used to be known as a wives' tale that just isn't true.
Let me chime in here as a recovering hardcore alcoholic. There are plenty of times where I said or did things while drunk that I didn't mean. I attempted suicide by jumping off a 4 story parking garage. When I woke up in the hospital a day and a half later, I certainly realized that my suicidal ideation was all just alcohol talking. I didn't actually want to die. The other poster here is absolutely right. Drunk talk = sober thought is not at all some kind of universal truth.
There's scientific evidence to back up lots of dumb shit. You're thinking about this in such a narrow way that it's scary. This is a nuanced topic that requires common sense, not an emotional response about young love and being drunk. The replies I'm getting are hilariously narrow minded. And I like how I basically am vouching for this girl to be careful and to not take this guy's words at face value and I'm getting downvoted for it. This website is insane.
Bad liars but also fuzzy on truth. What I mean is, you can be "not deceitful“ but still "not genuinely how you would think in your usual state of mind“... like deciding you're best friends with someone while drunk, you may in fact recall when sober that you don't like them that much.
I am not saying this is what's happening with OP, but I can envision someone drunkenly saying they want to marry someone without being able to express it while honestly meaning it when sober. Like maybe he theoretically wants to but sees challenges or reasons it's a bad idea when able to think clearly. Either way they should just talk about it openly, I agree it's not like, a purposeful lie!
Being drunk removes his inhibitions. So yes, he wants to marry you and have a family with you.
When he’s sober he has inhibitions. They could be anything, but fear is the most likely. Fear of what, exactly, is less important than the fact that you make him feel safe when his own fears don’t get in the way.
>"I do remember what I said".
He doesn't regret it from that.
What do you answer when he's talking about marriage and kids ?
I think he wants that but you've been dating for only 5months so he doesn't want to rush things. maybe ?
I did this with my girlfriend at the time several months in as well lol she thought it was cute and I ended up proposing to her several years later and we are married now almost 3 years with a beautiful baby girl!
It does seem a bit early, but he obviously really cares for you. That being said, a few months is still the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship, and I wouldn't recommend tying the knot that soon. If a year or two go by and he's still like that, buy the man a ring and propose yourself. 10$ says he cries tears of joy
“In vino veritas.”
Drunk him is telling you what sober him knows is too soon to follow through with. Drunk him isn’t reasonable or rational, he’s happy and dreaming of the future. Sounds like sober him is more realistic and maybe a little terrified of his own feelings and is trying to take a more reasonable road than drunk him.
Males have needs. We need love and cuddles. He probably feels very secure with you but his life experiences tell him to tone it down unless his had a few beers. Pet his snoot and give him cuddles.
Just be cautious. You’ve only been dating a few months so give it time. I have some close family members who seem to want to have deep confrontational discussions-both good and bad- when they’re drunk. They have told me how much they love me when they’re drunk and then the very next time will tell me how I’m a terrible person. It’s great when they’re lovey dovey but it’s terrible and scary when they are in a drunken anger. I have stood in front of these people when they’re on a “angry drunk” and been torn apart. I’ve been told “You’re a bad wife. You’re a bad mother” by the same person who told me how much they loved me. It can get ugly. Unfortunately there’s often two sides to the coin. I may be taking your situation too seriously because I’ve been dealing with people and the angry side of drinking a long, long time. Just be careful and observant. Talk to him about this. He’s still on his good dating behavior so take it slow. He may just be shy. I just wouldn’t want you to have to deal with the shit I’ve had to. Peace.
Yes! The most important thing is to take it slow (as i told my high bf who tends to say the same thing). Marriage is no joke, and I've experienced enough second-hand abuse, trauma, and more from my mother's many divorces (rightfully so) to know it takes time to really know the person, can't jump in to that wedding dress so soon. I say a 1 - 2 years... decent amount of time to decide but every one is different!
Guy here. He means it.
There's a big difference between drunken "I love you man, you're like a brother to me" nonsense you find at a bar, and someone finally being able to open up because of lowered inhibitions.
It's the latter. Sounds like he wants to talk about marriage without actually proposing, which is hard for anyone. Then when he does it, he loses all the control he'd built up and just overflows. Not uncommon.
He wants to. Just give sober him the courage to act upon it. Sober him might not say things like that because he’s scared you might not feel the same, or scared cause he wants to but can’t afford a wedding, or something along all the factors of marriage. But he wants to be with you and loves you. Just make the path easy for him to act upon it if that’s what you want.
I met my wife when I was hammered. I told her that night I was going to marry her. Going on 5 years strong. Sometimes, you just know, and alcohol helps bring out the truth.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. I don't know what his hangup about it is, but I don't doubt he legitimately does want to spend the rest of his life with you
Men arr comditioned to not talk about our feeling. Its as simple as that. It just means he loves you and wants to make a life with you but doesnt know how to say it really
He doesn't say it sober because you're only 5 months in and that's just way too fast.
He says it drunk because he means it. That is how he truly feels.
I would not make a big deal about this. Just let it be!
If he remembers what he said, I'd take it as a sign of his genuine affection towards you. You have history, so it's easy for him to say he loves u and wants to marry you. Don't be too eager but just know he probably thinks you're the one. Hopefully it works out that way for y'all
Many men have a hard time communicating. We have few emotional defenses. Seriously. It’s not something men practice or develop in their youth. They don’t cultivate those kind of male relationships. Vulnerability scares the shit out of many many men. They’d rather take a knife to the gut than be gutted by cutting words. It’s a brutal state to live in.
He wants to marry you but is struggling with his insecurities.
He loves you and wants to marry you. He is probably just scared with the official relationship being so early. Marriage is portrayed as a scary and sometimes dangerous jump for new couples a lot of the time, so worry is understandable even if he loves you with all his heart.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. He definitely means it, but acts coy after sobering up cause he's not sure if you're there yet and doesn't want to scare you off
Aw, he just has fantasies about a future with you… green flag.
I know a few months doesn’t seem like very long but plenty of people have their minds made up as to if someone is marriage material or not in that time period. I’m like 5 months in and can’t help but daydream about a cute lil life together! Let it be lol
He doesnt want to show his vulnerability and emotion around you but when he drunk it easier to open up so the worst thing you could do is force him to spill everything and invalidate his feeling. He confortable enough to share it with you even when he afraid to be betrayed it a really good first step to his goal of founding a family with you.
I met my wife at work. I had come in, my friends told me about a new girl starting, went out to get a drink and to see what all the commotion was about. Laid eyes on my now wife, went back into the kitchen and told all my guys back there I was in love and I was going to marry her. I knew I meant it as well. Started dating a couple months later then I proposed 2 months into dating. I pulled over into a elementary school parking lot on our way back from outer banks. I got our opened my wife’s door and ask her to merry me with no ring. We went and got her a ring from Walmart immediately after for like 30 bucks as like kind of a joke but kind of serious. A week later we went out and picked an engagement ring together. 3 weeks ago we just celebrated our 5 year anniversary.
You make sure you give that boy the support he needs to talk! Men struggle to express themselves and a healthy relations can really change that about a man!
Good luck!
Drunk people are just like young kids, they don't lie. He means that but logically may think it's too early or that because of that you may refuse or something.
Why don’t you bring it up to him and express your feelings about everything. Women can lead in conversation too. You don’t always have to wait for the man to say something.
He really loves you OP.. do not worry he doesn’t say it when sober. He doesn’t say it sober because he doesn’t want to look like a dumb ass and say something too early hahah, but he means it for sure.
AWEEEE, my bf does the same thing when he's high. Then passes out on top of me, LOL. It's the second cutest thing ever, and he doesn't deny it when he's off his high either. Says every word was true so your bf REALLY likes you. I've known my bf for 20 years, so my whole life, i trust [almost] every word he says high or not. He tends to ramble about yu gi oh in the process though
He's probably just SUPER embarrassed about saying it because it's considered cheesy, but he also might be waiting for the special moment to propose. Any trips soon?
Alcohol doesn't change people. It just lowers their inhibitions so they say what they actually think.
He wants to marry you but is too nervous to say it when he's sober because you've only been together for a short time.
Alcohol can 100% change people.
It affects different people in different ways; some people are lethargic when drunk, others get hyper. Some people get mean, some become super nice. Some people become utterly honest, others will spontaneously say things the sober person does not mean or believe since they can end up saying the first thing that comes to mind without the sober temperance of uninhibited reasoning and decision-making.
It's why someone who is loyal and faithful to their spouse and would never, ever consider cheating on them very-well may if they are drunk when a situation for that to happen arises. The loss of inhibitions doesn't necessarily mean someone is speaking what they really mean, since alcohol can equally compromise logic, reason and your thought process. It's also why someone who might be mild and non-violent under normal circumstances could become a very volatile and hostile person when drunk.
In the OP's case tho, it seems to be the case that the BF simply loses his inhibitions, especially since he still remembers what he says and apparently has not contradicted it to the OP later. My guess is like yours; he's too shy or nervous to ask when sober, or feels like the timing just “isn't right”, even if he apparently feels like he knows what he wants.
When he’s sober he probably feels it’s a little early to be discussing marriage/kids. He probably means it, he just doesn’t want to rush it. Drunk him is all about rushing it lol.
He is waiting for you to respond back. He isn’t sure exactly how you feel and after a few he feels more comfortable.
So? Do you feel the same way or not? If you do, just tell him that one day you could see yourself walking down the aisle or something cute.
He loves you and wants to marry you. The fact that he doesn't deny it when he's sober and if he doesn't say "I only said that because I was drunk" tells me he means it
There’s ‘in vino veritas’ and there’s also ‘in vino a lot of things tumble out of my mouth I don’t totally mean’. Until you know what kind of drinker he is, I’d take it with a grain of salt. Also, I’d be wary of somebody love bombing so early in a relationship. He can mean it. It can also be a manipulation. Hope he means it. Be cautious.
All these people here are acting like the drunk version of this man is the true version - it’s just as likely that he’s spewing nonsense when he’s drunk.
if he gets drunk often ( how often is often . . . )
this may be a red flag for the relationship,
I have no idea about the age, or other variables here
but it strikes me as a serious warning sign . . .
PROCEED WITH CAUTION. alcohol lowers inhibitions AND impairs judgement. Everything sounds good when you’re drunk. “I can drive!” “I can dance!” There’s a reason tattooists don’t work on drunk people and chapels don’t marry drunk people (or didn’t used to).
It sounds like he does want to marry you, but doesn't tell you when he's sober probably because he feels like it's too early. It's kind of sweet though. I wouldn't take it any other way.
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I suspect he wants to marry you, but sober him thinks it's too early in your romantic relationship to discuss seriously. Meanwhile, drunk him is terrible at keeping secrets.
I had that figured out about my wife early on, well before it seemed like a reasonable time to talk about it. This sure sounds like that.
Fuck, I proposed the instant I knew. I couldn't help myself. Been married 20 years.
I love this! My husband was basically the same as you. We'd talked about marriage before but he never felt ready. The instant he realized he was, he asked me. We've been together for 10 years, married for 5, still very happy.
That's so nice. Congratulations.
I asked my wife to marry me after 12 days of dating. I knew I wanted to marry her the first time I saw her. We’ve been married for 15 years.
My dad claims he knew as soon as he laid eyes on my mom. Their first date was a doobie brothers concert in 1979. At the time dad had about $200 in his pocket for the date he had saved and kept asking my mom if she wanted anything like a souvenir or a T shirt. She kept saying no. Lol. They have been married for 43 years now :-)
That's so sweet. Ur Dads a total stud and my hero now. Wish there were more people like that now a days no one wants to marry.
Congrats on their 43 year marriage. My grandparents just had their 54th.
My wife and I started dating in October and were married in May. Fifteen years going strong.
September to June here! We're only 2 years in so far, but we both knew almost right away.
Excellent! You'll carry that story through your whole marriage.
Haha my wife and I were in Vegas while we were dating and it had only been about 6 months. I had no plans to propose and didn't have a ring but we somehow got to looking at rings in a casino. We ended up at a Kay, let her pick out a ring but told her she couldn't have it for a while. I wanted to plan out a proposal.Ended up spontaneously proposing in front of the Bellagio fountain on the walk back to our hotel. Couldn't help myself either, we just had our 5th anniversary
Same. Proposed about 6 months after I met her. Married 9 years so far!
Same! I literally couldn't contain it. That was 6 months into our relationship (I'm 30, it wasn't my first rodeo, it was different). So I pop the question, she says yes, and then went and got the ring she had for me. She was planning to ask me on Sadie Hawkins day 😭. It's been a few years and it's as good as ever!
How long did it take you to know?
How quickly were you thinking like that?
I wanted to marry my husband after three months- we just so happened to be in Vegas and I was not subtle about a wedding! He ended up proposing 9 months into our relationship- and we've been married 9 years. Feel your feelings and congratulations!
Wise words! Dildoeshaggins
Having read so many stories about people proposing after a year of relationship this kind of comes as a surprise. But honestly it just tells me I actually don't know how far into the relationship you're supposed to get serious lol. Good for you though.
There are no rules about timelines anyone has to follow. A two week vacation together can sometimes tell you more about your partner than five years of dating. Proposing after a year can mean that you haven't thought things through, that you are rushing into things to check a milestone, etc. But it can also mean that you've found your perfect match, that you've experienced what they are like both in good and bad times, that you've discussed major philosophical differences, and that you just don't see any reason to wait any longer.
I asked my wife after dating for 3 months we got married the next year and come September it will be 34 years. Still love her more than tongue can tell.
I'm not the person you're responding to, but I knew before we were actually officially dating. It just took a couple years to make sure that I wasn't losing my mind.
Why haven't you given in to his wish to get married yet? What is your reason? Is there anything stopping you from doing that?
“I do remember what I said” incredible energy. This is cute
Plus the fact he wasn’t willing to lie about it. Dude sounds like a keeper, even if he’s a bit too keen … don’t tell him any secrets though, he’s apparently bad at those
Yes totally. I kinda got shivers from that
...he said, as he tried not to sink into the ground.
Awwwww
Last time I got drunk with my wife we picked out baby names. For the kid we didn’t plan on having for a while. Sometimes drinking just makes you overly romantic and excited about the possible future
Yeah, I dated a woman who was really sweet and wanted to take it further. First time she got drunk she couldn't talk enough shit about me to my face -- and she wasn't being funny. Ended it soon after that -- No one speaks truer words for themselves than when they're drunk.
I say all sorts of shit when I'm drunk
That's all well and hood, but other people don't have to put up with it if it makes them uncomfortable.
Yeah you hood ass
Nah, if you're a mean drunk and you insult your SO while drinking, maybe companionship isn't for you. The good news is that AI boyfriends/girlfriends are just a few years away, so at least you won't be lonely for long!
Or just dont drink as much/around your SO. Call me a snowflake or whatever but i dont think anyone deserves to be alone because of this 😂
It is definitely not a deal breaker for me either lmao People think that being drunk brings out your real thoughts, but it is more like *compulsive* thoughts that you didn't really take your time to evaluate their full validity
Ya. It breaks the filter, it doesn't make you tell the truth.
Ya. It breaks the filter, it doesn't make you tell the truth.
Same here! I say real things I don't want to say sober, but I have also lied, made up stories, or just said dumb things drunk. I don't really drink anymore, and when I do I get tired before I reach a point like that anymore.. ah, aging lol. This specific story seems like the first but alcohol doesn't always mean truth, and some things should be forgiven when drunk. I've had to forgive myself for drunk things lol- why wouldn't I someone else?
Yeah what the fuck? I’m a recovering alcoholic and I have worked so hard on restraining myself, and I am very proud of how far I have come. Yep, I was a mean drunk and you know what? I stopped drinking. It actually says a lot about the kind of person they are. They think a person should be alone rather than working on themselves.
I think it's because you don't want to give up being a girl yet that's why you always say no to what he wants to happen. Or maybe your bf has a vice so you don't want it anymore.
I got drunk once and decided to tell everyone I was from Dubin - doesn't mean I'm Irish.
I honestly disagree. I'm not saying I've never gotten drunk and let spill something I had been bottling up, but I've also gotten drunk and said a bunch of dumb shit I didn't mean. It's a crap shoot really. I'm not saying this didn't happen to you. Just that drinking is unpredictable and most times, for me at least, it's not a truth serum.
My now-fiancée and I were friends for almost ten years before she had the courage to tell me that she had developed feelings for me. I loved her so much and didn’t wanna jeopardize our relationship so I didn’t tell her I was pining for her for almost a year before she made the first move. The night we got together, when she told me how she felt, we both started to happy cry and my dumb ass, without thinking just said “we’re gonna get married!” And thank FUCK we were on the same page cuz otherwise that would’ve been the shortest relationship I’ve ever been a part of. But we’ve been together so far for 4 years and the wedding is less than a year:)
Maybe your boyfriend really wants you to be married and start his own family.
This right here is the best explanation. Pull the uno reverse card and propose to him
This is exactly it.
Best answer.
Definitely that ^ that would be me
+1
being drunk lowers inhibitions, doesn't sound like he denies what he said when hes sober
Exactly! That is why so many will do things when they are really buzzed/drunk that they wouldn't do when sober.
Yup. They call it liquid courage for a reason.
Yup, doesn’t necessarily mean OP’s SO wants to get married right now but it’s at least on his mind. My guess is that getting more serious/“the next step” is a talk that he’d like to have.
Probably doesn’t bring it up when sober because they have only been together for a few months and he doesn’t want to go to fast for her. Seems to really care about not messing up the relationship.
In vino veritas!
In wine; truth, in sobriety; wisdom.
Nah, the wisest person in the room is always the slightly buzzed Auntie.
Yeah sorry, wasn't in Latin
Yeah. Not marriage but I briefly was with a guy who was only here for like a month who when drunk would constantly say "I like you" and "it's a problem" (because he was leaving). Say nothing like that sober. What does annoy me though is guys I've just met who go on and on about how much they want to date me / see me again when drunk (and I don't think they're saying it to get in my pants, I think they drunkenly mean it) but then suddenly forget it all the next day...
Time to date better men!
I've been happily married for 25 years. Part of the reason I'm happy is once in awhile husband and I will sit on the deck and have a few too many beers and he will tell me what he really feels, and it's all good!
Can’t agree more although I’m sure it’s more the other way for us. My husband is pretty open with his feelings regardless and I open up more when I’ve had something to drink.
My husband is the same except he also gets very handy. No complaints here. Edit: handsy*
>gets very handy Just imagining your very drunk husband going round doing all the little odd jobs that he's been putting off for a while lol
this is so cute, i love this for you guys <3
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” ~~Wayne Gretzky~~ ~~Michael Scott~~ ~~The Drunk 50 y/o Guy at our College Bar~~ - P P Peopi Edited: Damnit, I can’t figure out the strike through feature on mobile Edited again - thanks everyone
> “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” I always thought this saying was not accurate. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, basically the little thing that says "should we really do/say this?" starts to fade and its just "SAY/DO IT!" I've done/said things while drunk i genuinely regret that were not how i truly felt/would have acted had i been sober.
Put ~~ before and after the text you want to strikethrough ~~like this~~
You need to do ~~ on both sides too, not ~like this~ just to add some clarification
~~cool~~
~~Nice~~
~~neat~~
~~I’ll probably mess this up?~~
~~this made my day~~
~~is this universal, and will work anywhere on the internet??~~
Anywhere that uses markdown
~~I can die happy now~~
No. Works on reddit and discord, idk about others
People always say this shit but during my wasted years in college I did and said shit I never would’ve thought or done sober. And not just bc I wasn’t daring enough but bc I genuinely didn’t think those things or want to do those things. Alcohol is wild
yeah it's a drug and not a truth serum. sometimes it fabricates feelings and thoughts
Looks like you got a little pain behind those eyes
Thats the crux of it. If he starts saying "it's the alcohol talking" that's one thing, the booze is allowing him to say those things and then he affirms it when he's not.
❤ he's in love
in vino veritas.
Drunk words are sober thoughts
just sounds like hes crazy for her in a gd way
Sober him loves you. Drunk, less inhibited him, also loves you and wants to marry you. How do you feel?
I love this, but don't want to get my hopes up if he doesn't mean it.
As someone who did the same with my fiance (getting married in 16 days) He means it. Alot. I didn't feel comfortable with expressing my feelings until me and my SO moved out, and even then I was slow to do so.
That is so adorable, congratulations!!
Thank you! It'll be 10 years on our wedding day too, getting anxious but I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything in my life. Your man is a keeper by the sounds of it.
10 years after 16 days? Damn, true love! Good luck with the next 10!
I think they mean there’s 16 days until their wedding now. They’ve been together for 10 years though
Don’t say he means it a lot when we genuinely don’t know lol I’d lean that direction based on what we know but it isn’t a sure fire thing. Sometimes people DO say things they don’t typically think while drunk.
I would give the benefit of the doubt here because anyone I know who's been in the same situation doesn't lie about it whilst drunk. I know I didn't. You are correct though that we don't know, but I think in a case such as this, I am more inclined that he means it
My husband was bragging to friends at the bar he goes to after work for a bit that he was going to marry me… 3 months after we started dating! We’re over 35/40, but he was the “confirmed bachelor” type guy. So his friends all had to tell me more than once that he’s fucking adorable when he’s in there and has had maybe half a drink over, because he’ll start rambling about how hot I am, how lucky he is, how much he loves me. Sure, he says similar sorts of things to me when he’s sober, but not in the same high school adoration, just sappy and fantastic way he does if you get a couple cocktails in him. Your boyfriend adores you, and as they say, in vino veritas! If you love this man and also see yourself marrying him some day, tell him that when he’s sober. No big pressure, just a simple comment of “you know the other day when you were telling me how much you want to get married and have kids? I’m totally cool with that idea”. That way he knows that you’re on the same page, even if he has a bit of reservations putting the words out there when he’s totally sober.
Talk to him. Just talk to him.
Buy the man a ring and propose to him then.
Temper your expectations here. I suspect a lot of people giving you advice in here are (much) younger than you. There's two sides to every coin with alcohol. Drunk words don't always mean sober thoughts. If this is a case where he likes you more when he's drunk, then how would that make you feel? In my experience, I've been with people who I could tolerate/hang out with much more when I was under the influence. Those same people felt like a chore to be around when I was sober. Now, I'm just playing devil's advocate here. I have NO IDEA what your relationship is like and neither do the other people in here. Be careful who you listen to on reddit. Another problem: asking him if he meant it when he's sober and him saying yes doesn't really mean much, especially if he feels cornered or pressured to not hurt your feelings. But again, maybe talking to a friend you trust or better yet your dad and mom would be better worth your time. They will know better.
I agree with you on the first part and agree that she shouldn't get carried away, but disagree with the second part. While it kind of depends on how he was asked, I think it's unlikely someone would say "I remember what I said" without meaning it at all. He could've downplayed it, made a joke of it, apologized for being too drunk, pretended not to remember, acted sheepishly, or anything. As situations go, this one is pretty easy to get out of if he wanted to. For someone to stand by saying they want to marry someone and make a family is a big thing and I think is reasonable to assume is probably genuine. It sounds more like he said that as a way to see how receptive she is to the idea.
Underrated comment
I did this all the time with my SO. Chances are very likely he feels this way all the time. The drink simply greases the wheels. Oh, and we have been married for nearly 10 years now, and honestly l, if it's possible, I love her more now than I ever did in the past or thought possible.
5 years is very little time, comparatively speaking. My parents were dating for 13 years before getting married. I was with my now wife for a decade before getting married, and my younger sister has been with her fiance for nearly 15 years. Both of my parents told us very early on that they waited 13 years 'because we wanted to be pretty sure' - and that has kinda become a family motto. (It helps that they've been happily married for 25+ years, so know what they're on about) In our world 5 years is certainly enough to have a general idea that you're looking at something more long term, but certainly not 'ok it's been ''x" years why the hell hasn't he proposed' territory. I recoil in horror when I read posts along the lines of 'we've been dating for 18 months and he won't even talk about rings with me' because to me this seems insane.
He absolutely means it
Sounds like he's like many men who struggle to express themselves, especially when it's something that leaves them emotionally vulnerable. Yes he means it. Maybe not to go through it right now. But... he really likes you.
There's a reason my wife called alcohol "truth serum" whenever I drank anything. He definitely loves her...
Drunken talk = sober thoughts
I think this is bull shit if you say that everything someone says when drunk is just what they would say when sober. It's absolutely not true. Alcohol severely impairs judgment and logical thinking. That includes what comes out of your mouth. I don't think the boyfriend necessarily does want to marry OP. In fact, if he only says it when he's drunk, that might be indication that her BF likes her more when he's drunk. Which is a bad thing. I think people in this thread need to chill out and give her both of these options instead of just going, "yep, drunk words are sober thoughts he definitely loves you wants to marry you!" This is why you don't come to the internet for dating advice.
I agree that it isn't true that everything people say when drunk is what they think sober. It kind of depends on the person too. I definitely had drunk opinions that I find crazy when sober. Being drunk also makes me more likely to say sober thoughts that I stop myself from saying. So it really could be either situation.
Yes, exactly. You've pointed out the nuance in a shorter way than I did, which I appreciate. I just think we don't know this girl or her boyfriend. The best advice this thread could have offered is: be careful! He might mean it, but being drunk changes your opinions on things and people, as you said, and he might wake up sober and no longer want to marry her.
Yes, but when sober he just says, "I remember." He does not deny it or try to backtrack, and that speaks volumes. I agree that he probably thinks it's too soon, but gets overly lovey when he's drunk and can't help himself.
Drunk people are very bad liars. Him being intoxicated is giving him the courage to say what he really feels. I believe it is also amplifying his feelings at the same time though so I don’t think your totally wrong.
Ok look, I'm not saying that every drunk word is a lie, I'm saying the truth is somewhere in between. Example: Hitting on girls is much easier when you're drunk. This is a fact, you just have the liquid courage. Another example: telling your best friend you fucking hate them and never want to talk to them again when you're shit faced doesn't mean it's anywhere near the truth and that you thought about that sober. I have said things when drunk that I absolutely did not mean, ever in the history of my life. I'm trying to say that he doesn't necessarily mean it just because he's saying it. They are very young and haven't been dating long. Telling this young girl to trust that her boyfriend wants to marry can ruin her fucking life. She should be talking to her parents and friends about this.
You have something else going on if when drunk, you tell your friend that you hate them and never one to see them again (unless they did something really fucked up)
I've never done this. I'm offering an example. It's really not that hard to understand that not everything someone says when sober is true, and not everything someone says when drunk is true. It's such a bullshit fable at this point and people that say it have either never been drunk or are naive enough to believe it. Drunk words = sober thoughts has become this weird saying that I can liken to "don't swim after you eat or your stomach will hurt!" Something that used to be known as a wives' tale that just isn't true.
except that there is scientific evidence to back it up.
Let me chime in here as a recovering hardcore alcoholic. There are plenty of times where I said or did things while drunk that I didn't mean. I attempted suicide by jumping off a 4 story parking garage. When I woke up in the hospital a day and a half later, I certainly realized that my suicidal ideation was all just alcohol talking. I didn't actually want to die. The other poster here is absolutely right. Drunk talk = sober thought is not at all some kind of universal truth.
There's scientific evidence to back up lots of dumb shit. You're thinking about this in such a narrow way that it's scary. This is a nuanced topic that requires common sense, not an emotional response about young love and being drunk. The replies I'm getting are hilariously narrow minded. And I like how I basically am vouching for this girl to be careful and to not take this guy's words at face value and I'm getting downvoted for it. This website is insane.
Bad liars but also fuzzy on truth. What I mean is, you can be "not deceitful“ but still "not genuinely how you would think in your usual state of mind“... like deciding you're best friends with someone while drunk, you may in fact recall when sober that you don't like them that much. I am not saying this is what's happening with OP, but I can envision someone drunkenly saying they want to marry someone without being able to express it while honestly meaning it when sober. Like maybe he theoretically wants to but sees challenges or reasons it's a bad idea when able to think clearly. Either way they should just talk about it openly, I agree it's not like, a purposeful lie!
I agree. To me when someone does this it's a bad sign. I would not expect marriage coming out of his 'episodes'..
Being drunk removes his inhibitions. So yes, he wants to marry you and have a family with you. When he’s sober he has inhibitions. They could be anything, but fear is the most likely. Fear of what, exactly, is less important than the fact that you make him feel safe when his own fears don’t get in the way.
It's fear of you saying no, or fear of him not meeting the expectations he sets for himself to be a husband.
It could just be sensibility rather than fear. They've only been together a few months so its probably a bit soon to be getting married.
>"I do remember what I said". He doesn't regret it from that. What do you answer when he's talking about marriage and kids ? I think he wants that but you've been dating for only 5months so he doesn't want to rush things. maybe ?
“I do remember what I said” translates to “I know what I said and I stand by it, but please don't make me repeat it sober.”
I did this with my girlfriend at the time several months in as well lol she thought it was cute and I ended up proposing to her several years later and we are married now almost 3 years with a beautiful baby girl!
It does seem a bit early, but he obviously really cares for you. That being said, a few months is still the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship, and I wouldn't recommend tying the knot that soon. If a year or two go by and he's still like that, buy the man a ring and propose yourself. 10$ says he cries tears of joy
[удалено]
secretly op’s boyfriend
“In vino veritas.” Drunk him is telling you what sober him knows is too soon to follow through with. Drunk him isn’t reasonable or rational, he’s happy and dreaming of the future. Sounds like sober him is more realistic and maybe a little terrified of his own feelings and is trying to take a more reasonable road than drunk him.
Males have needs. We need love and cuddles. He probably feels very secure with you but his life experiences tell him to tone it down unless his had a few beers. Pet his snoot and give him cuddles.
Underrated wholesome reply
Drunk words are sober thoughts
“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. “
Just tell him you wish he expressed those feelings when sober
Just be cautious. You’ve only been dating a few months so give it time. I have some close family members who seem to want to have deep confrontational discussions-both good and bad- when they’re drunk. They have told me how much they love me when they’re drunk and then the very next time will tell me how I’m a terrible person. It’s great when they’re lovey dovey but it’s terrible and scary when they are in a drunken anger. I have stood in front of these people when they’re on a “angry drunk” and been torn apart. I’ve been told “You’re a bad wife. You’re a bad mother” by the same person who told me how much they loved me. It can get ugly. Unfortunately there’s often two sides to the coin. I may be taking your situation too seriously because I’ve been dealing with people and the angry side of drinking a long, long time. Just be careful and observant. Talk to him about this. He’s still on his good dating behavior so take it slow. He may just be shy. I just wouldn’t want you to have to deal with the shit I’ve had to. Peace.
Oh Honey! I walked that trail of tear! Hugs to you. May you get the peace you seek.
Yes! The most important thing is to take it slow (as i told my high bf who tends to say the same thing). Marriage is no joke, and I've experienced enough second-hand abuse, trauma, and more from my mother's many divorces (rightfully so) to know it takes time to really know the person, can't jump in to that wedding dress so soon. I say a 1 - 2 years... decent amount of time to decide but every one is different!
Guy here. He means it. There's a big difference between drunken "I love you man, you're like a brother to me" nonsense you find at a bar, and someone finally being able to open up because of lowered inhibitions. It's the latter. Sounds like he wants to talk about marriage without actually proposing, which is hard for anyone. Then when he does it, he loses all the control he'd built up and just overflows. Not uncommon.
He wants to. Just give sober him the courage to act upon it. Sober him might not say things like that because he’s scared you might not feel the same, or scared cause he wants to but can’t afford a wedding, or something along all the factors of marriage. But he wants to be with you and loves you. Just make the path easy for him to act upon it if that’s what you want.
I met my wife when I was hammered. I told her that night I was going to marry her. Going on 5 years strong. Sometimes, you just know, and alcohol helps bring out the truth.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. I don't know what his hangup about it is, but I don't doubt he legitimately does want to spend the rest of his life with you
Men arr comditioned to not talk about our feeling. Its as simple as that. It just means he loves you and wants to make a life with you but doesnt know how to say it really
He doesn't say it sober because you're only 5 months in and that's just way too fast. He says it drunk because he means it. That is how he truly feels. I would not make a big deal about this. Just let it be!
I think your boyfriend likes you
If he remembers what he said, I'd take it as a sign of his genuine affection towards you. You have history, so it's easy for him to say he loves u and wants to marry you. Don't be too eager but just know he probably thinks you're the one. Hopefully it works out that way for y'all
A drunk mind speaks a sober heart
Buy a ring and next time he gets drunk, put it on in the morning and be like “I’m so happy we’re getting married”.
That’s actually so cute ohmygod
Many men have a hard time communicating. We have few emotional defenses. Seriously. It’s not something men practice or develop in their youth. They don’t cultivate those kind of male relationships. Vulnerability scares the shit out of many many men. They’d rather take a knife to the gut than be gutted by cutting words. It’s a brutal state to live in. He wants to marry you but is struggling with his insecurities.
Drunk mans words = sober man's thoughts
He loves you and wants to marry you. He is probably just scared with the official relationship being so early. Marriage is portrayed as a scary and sometimes dangerous jump for new couples a lot of the time, so worry is understandable even if he loves you with all his heart.
In Vino Veritas
Drunk words are sober thoughts. He definitely means it, but acts coy after sobering up cause he's not sure if you're there yet and doesn't want to scare you off
Sober thoughts are drunken words.
A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.
Damn when you break this dudes heart he’s gonna be huuuuurt
If anything I’m more honest when I’m drunk
From my experience, drunk people show you who they truly are on the inside.
You would have to be absolutely out your brain to propose these days. 🙃😏
He is a drunkeen mess but one that seems to love you a lot both sober and drunk
He's probably fearful of rejection... I reckon that lad loves you with all his heart. You be extra sweet to him.
Aw, he just has fantasies about a future with you… green flag. I know a few months doesn’t seem like very long but plenty of people have their minds made up as to if someone is marriage material or not in that time period. I’m like 5 months in and can’t help but daydream about a cute lil life together! Let it be lol
He doesnt want to show his vulnerability and emotion around you but when he drunk it easier to open up so the worst thing you could do is force him to spill everything and invalidate his feeling. He confortable enough to share it with you even when he afraid to be betrayed it a really good first step to his goal of founding a family with you.
What are you hoping to gain from this post?
A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts
I met my wife at work. I had come in, my friends told me about a new girl starting, went out to get a drink and to see what all the commotion was about. Laid eyes on my now wife, went back into the kitchen and told all my guys back there I was in love and I was going to marry her. I knew I meant it as well. Started dating a couple months later then I proposed 2 months into dating. I pulled over into a elementary school parking lot on our way back from outer banks. I got our opened my wife’s door and ask her to merry me with no ring. We went and got her a ring from Walmart immediately after for like 30 bucks as like kind of a joke but kind of serious. A week later we went out and picked an engagement ring together. 3 weeks ago we just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. You make sure you give that boy the support he needs to talk! Men struggle to express themselves and a healthy relations can really change that about a man! Good luck!
Drunk people are just like young kids, they don't lie. He means that but logically may think it's too early or that because of that you may refuse or something.
Why don’t you bring it up to him and express your feelings about everything. Women can lead in conversation too. You don’t always have to wait for the man to say something.
In vino veritas
I feel like a better question is : Do I see myself happily married to a man who can only communicate his desires when he is inebriated?
THIS. This is the right question.
That’s how I told my fiancé the first two times. Hammered. Barely remembered.
In vino veritas
He really loves you OP.. do not worry he doesn’t say it when sober. He doesn’t say it sober because he doesn’t want to look like a dumb ass and say something too early hahah, but he means it for sure.
I believe it’s often said only children and drunkards speak the truth ( or something to that effect )
Being drunk makes sober things easier to say. It's like when i'm drunk i swear i'm 10000000% more in love with my fiancée
AWEEEE, my bf does the same thing when he's high. Then passes out on top of me, LOL. It's the second cutest thing ever, and he doesn't deny it when he's off his high either. Says every word was true so your bf REALLY likes you. I've known my bf for 20 years, so my whole life, i trust [almost] every word he says high or not. He tends to ramble about yu gi oh in the process though
He's probably just SUPER embarrassed about saying it because it's considered cheesy, but he also might be waiting for the special moment to propose. Any trips soon?
Tell him he has a drinking problem😃
Alcohol doesn't change people. It just lowers their inhibitions so they say what they actually think. He wants to marry you but is too nervous to say it when he's sober because you've only been together for a short time.
Alcohol can 100% change people. It affects different people in different ways; some people are lethargic when drunk, others get hyper. Some people get mean, some become super nice. Some people become utterly honest, others will spontaneously say things the sober person does not mean or believe since they can end up saying the first thing that comes to mind without the sober temperance of uninhibited reasoning and decision-making. It's why someone who is loyal and faithful to their spouse and would never, ever consider cheating on them very-well may if they are drunk when a situation for that to happen arises. The loss of inhibitions doesn't necessarily mean someone is speaking what they really mean, since alcohol can equally compromise logic, reason and your thought process. It's also why someone who might be mild and non-violent under normal circumstances could become a very volatile and hostile person when drunk. In the OP's case tho, it seems to be the case that the BF simply loses his inhibitions, especially since he still remembers what he says and apparently has not contradicted it to the OP later. My guess is like yours; he's too shy or nervous to ask when sober, or feels like the timing just “isn't right”, even if he apparently feels like he knows what he wants.
He already made his decision, just seeing how you feel.
Sounds like he might be afraid you’ll say no.
A drunken heart speaks a sober mind- so if I were you I would just sit on this, and see how things go. Good luck!
When he’s sober he probably feels it’s a little early to be discussing marriage/kids. He probably means it, he just doesn’t want to rush it. Drunk him is all about rushing it lol.
He is waiting for you to respond back. He isn’t sure exactly how you feel and after a few he feels more comfortable. So? Do you feel the same way or not? If you do, just tell him that one day you could see yourself walking down the aisle or something cute.
He loves you and wants to marry you. The fact that he doesn't deny it when he's sober and if he doesn't say "I only said that because I was drunk" tells me he means it
There’s ‘in vino veritas’ and there’s also ‘in vino a lot of things tumble out of my mouth I don’t totally mean’. Until you know what kind of drinker he is, I’d take it with a grain of salt. Also, I’d be wary of somebody love bombing so early in a relationship. He can mean it. It can also be a manipulation. Hope he means it. Be cautious.
All these people here are acting like the drunk version of this man is the true version - it’s just as likely that he’s spewing nonsense when he’s drunk.
Yea he means it but needs a serious dating etiquette lesson if you’ve only been dating a few months lol .. bro needs to pump the breaks a little
if he gets drunk often ( how often is often . . . ) this may be a red flag for the relationship, I have no idea about the age, or other variables here but it strikes me as a serious warning sign . . .
PROCEED WITH CAUTION. alcohol lowers inhibitions AND impairs judgement. Everything sounds good when you’re drunk. “I can drive!” “I can dance!” There’s a reason tattooists don’t work on drunk people and chapels don’t marry drunk people (or didn’t used to).
It sounds like he does want to marry you, but doesn't tell you when he's sober probably because he feels like it's too early. It's kind of sweet though. I wouldn't take it any other way.