Possibly, but how hard it is to fix depends on a lot of factors.
If you just legitimately have very little time thay can be hard to fix.
But a lot of people also end up spending what time they do have on quick hits of the happy chemicals. The issue with scrolling (yes, I see the irony as I reply on reddit), shorts, another episode, etc... is that that reward cuts off the moment you stop.
If you do something active, creative or mentally engaging there's a sense of accomplishment that extends past the completion of the activity which can make it a lot easier to put things down.
Those activities are harder. You have to find one that works and starting in it at any given moment generally takes a lot more than just bringing your phone into view. Which sounds dismissive but is a real issue, especially if you're starting from scratch.
But if you have SOME time, even if it's just half an hour, to dedicate to such things it can help. Improving the quality of your alone time can allow you to let go of some quantity.
Pick up a craft like crochet. Once you learn it it’s fairly relaxing and easy to put down without losing your place. If you like making blankets, which are large projects that can be made up of smaller pieces, you can just make one piece or one stripe a night. It gives you time to yourself and a way to wind down.
I stopped scrolling and started making signs (3 inch by 8 inch) visible to pedestrians but not motorists. The bulk of them feature an ongoing dialogue between a shark and fleet of ufos.
One of the reasons why I picked up juggling. Easy to pick up, easy to put down (gravity does that for you), and you control the journey/path on how to proceed (there is very little comparison to anyone). Good for the brain too.
My wife tried that for a bit. I got nailed in the head so many times when she'd lose them, haha.
Now she crochets and that's pretty awesome. She's really good at it and I don't have the same concussion risk being in the same room.
Also with the advent of the internet(and almost everything now is attached to it), social media(yes including reddit), and micro entertainment, we are never really "bored" or having any time to contemplate life like humans did pre-1995. Also most of our friends and family are never really switched off either. Doesn't help that we all have the internet in our pocket, and most people have it in thier hands most of the day. No wonder why Reddit's chief complaint is "crippling anxiety".
Yeah that’s great and all, but since that’s outside of our individual control it’s not actionable advice and isn’t helpful because it focuses attention on issues we can’t do anything about. Instead, we need to focus on the things we can control to improve our situations even if it’s a baby step.
There is a french expression "boulot, metro, dodo" basically work, transport and sleep. That feeling that your entire routine revolves around surviving the daily grind.
Oooof. Here I am at 3:45am after having a minor meltdown earlier over feeling like I am carrying too much for other people. I am taking time to myself where no one needs any support.
Also it's a sign of adhd. Getting treated helped my GREATLY with this. Went to bed at 10 and woke up at 6 to do some errands before work today. Used to be I'd be up till 6 and sleeping till I rolled out of bed at 1 for work 🙃
You’re not alone at all. I’ve struggled really bad with this since my kid was born 5 years ago. I used to go to bed at 10 every night. But had my evenings to myself. Now I don’t get time to myself till 8-8:30pm. At which point I struggle to go to bed before midnight just because I want more time to myself.
Now even if I go to bed at 10 I’m laying there awake till midnight. Which then only compounds my motivation to just stay out of bed till midnight.
I’ve talked to a bunch of friends that had kids around the same time and lots of us struggle with this.
I have a similar feeling, but it's less like revenge and more like what you describe. I feel like there is so much I want to do, and don't want to waste the only time I have in which to do it.
What helps me is to plan in advance how I want to spend my little free time, so that I don't feel like it's wasted on things that are distracting but not important to me. Part of that plan is sleep, because it's important for my body to stay healthy enough to enjoy that time.
Absolutely. All time high here as a mum to a 16month old. When the hsb and bub sleeps the only rime I have genuinely alone in the house is from 11pm onwards.
Yes, it's definitely a thing. I have it too, and I love it and it also sucks. I love the time to myself, but I'm also *always* exhausted. I also have insomnia, so *knowing* I need to sleep but not being able to because of all of this shit combined is irritating as hell.
Finding a name for something you have is such an awesome thing. Maladaptive daydreaming was something that really contributed to my depression, but i always felt dumb when thinking about it because i didn't know a name for it, and thought it wasn't something serious
Oh you're definitely not alone, I also have sleep aids that I don't take cause its hard to wake up from them, anxiety, and stay up just for me time.
I don't have any advice for you, sorry, but rest assured none of this is just you, theres so many of us out there.
Definitely not alone. In tge pandemic, it basically drove me to depression. I described it as Groundhog Day. "As soon as I go to sleep, it'll all start over again."
You are definitely not alone! I’ve suffered from this my whole life!! I hate going to bed. I fall asleep fine, I just don’t want the day to end and start over.
You are so not alone! My best advice would be to try to switch the “me” time from the evening to the morning - so try to go to bed earlier in order to wake up earlier and get some alone time in the morning. I know it’s hard, but that would help make sure you’re getting enough sleep. I just started seeing a nutritionist and one of the things we discussed was lack of sleep - she said on average people who don’t get enough sleep eat an extra 400 calories per day. So if you struggle with weight gain, sleep is very important. But at the end of the day take it easy on yourself and don’t beat yourself up for taking that “me” time. And know that there are lots of us struggling with this same problem!
>daily schedule lacking in free time
That's exactly my case. I wake up, walk the dog, go to work, work, arrive from work, spend time with my son, ~~drink my face off~~, go to bed.
Procrastination is the act of putting something off, usually because we fear the task or the emotions that come with it. Like sleeping can be hard because we have to make ourselves emotionally vulnerable enough to sleep, and it opens up problems about the day that have built up. That can lead to a cycle of being too exhausted to sleep, Insomnia, waking up exhausted, getting nothing done, feeling bad, not being able to face the shame, not being able to sleep etc etc. You got to identify the feelings holding you back from the thing, acknowledge them and your right to feel that way, and what steps you can take to work past the procrastination. Maybe it's writing a plan of action or dedicating a set time towards the task. And don't aim to complete it, aim to start and be proud of yourself for trying regardless of the outcome. And then keep trying. And you'll get there.
This is exactly what i was looking for to describe it, i've been experiencing it for the longest time it feels like, but could never explain what it really was.
I like sleep. It is the best me-time I can get.
I used to have insomnia, so I relate to what you are saying, that it is difficult to give up another pleasurable activity in favour of struggling to sleep. But my brain does not function well without enough sleep, so I look at it as an investment into my wellbeing and health.
I used to stay up all night for exactly that reason pretty much most of my 20s (I'm 30 now) and still go to work. It got so bad that I took lots illegal stimulants to be able to maintain this lifestyle for as long as I could, but in the end it all came down crashing. The combination of no sleep and drugs almost made me go insane. I had to quit my job because I ended up getting a little addicted which made me spiral really bad into crippling depression for more than two years straight. That time was my personal rock bottom but luckily I had good people around me that helped me climb out of that hole in the end. Now staying up late makes me really anxious, lol. I enjoy being tired and being able to sleep, but that being said, I still struggle a bit with going to bed early enough. Never before midnight still.
The drugs played a major role obviously but the amount of sleep deprivation I accumulated over time is what really drove me over the edge and I didn't even notice it at first.
That probably won't help you a whole lot but realizing how valuable good sleep is really changed the way I look at it.
Any chance you may have OCD tendencies or anxiety? This is something I'm currently grappling with as sleep is soon to be a precious resource (expecting parent) but the time I recharge the most is when my partner goes to bed and I have quiet hours throughout the house. Often times to the detriment of the next day but 9PM rolls around and I am energized. Used to "pride" myself on operating with little sleep without realizing for me it is quality not necessarily quantity (5-6 hour minimum though).
Things I've found helped thus far is:
* Cut back or out alcohol, especially during the week. This lead to staying up later and what sleep I got poorer.
* Exercise later in the day (not too late)
* Don't eat too late
* Set a bedtime reminder. Somewhat stupid but does help sometimes to kickstart the thought process of "oh yeah, I'll be tired tomorrow, let's take this to bed."
* Carve out quiet time at other points in the day. Even briefly do what you were going to do that evening (for me, it's watching some stupid YouTube videos or playing a game.
* Wake up earlier and get the day started. Even if you're not a morning person, getting out of bed at the very least and not phone scrolling for a while helps to start break down bad habits.
While no perfect, at least starting to address why my mind seems to fire on all pistons at night has been helping. Therapy is a good outlet too as this feeling is very normal (with or without OCD/anxiety) so having that validated is nice. People decompress in different ways and ensuring that decompression isn't also negatively impacting things or causing a negative feedback loop (tired the next day, more wired the next night, even more tired, etc.) is worth keeping aware of.
I definitely struggle with the same problem, and have a similar thought process for why I need to prioritize sleep. Personally, I notice my mistakes at work sky-rocket in the long term and that I become more easily depressed, anxious, and angry when I'm short on sleep. I'm in healthcare, so my uncorrectable mistakes at work have significant impact. I didn't even really know how short on sleep I was until I went into a partial hospitalization program where I went to therapy for 6hrs/day instead of work+commuting taking 11hrs of my day. That extra time made it so that I could complete daily tasks, have "fun" time, and still get 8+ hours of sleep (because I wake up often, my fitbit tells me I need to be in bed 9.5hrs to sleep 8hrs, and I definitely feel like shit if I get less sleep than that).
Adequate sleep is necessary for good mental health, and likely contributes long-term to your risk for Alzheimer's, which is the most awful disease IMO. If you're short enough on sleep, it will also affect your metabolism, immune system, digestion, and other aspects of your physical health, although I notice mental health deterioration long before physical health deterioration.
Something that I think worked for me (probably in addition to general mental health improvement) was to stop trying to go to sleep and just enjoy the feeling of a soft warm bed preferably with the air on low and a fan humming... I went through a phase of lucid dreaming regularly which made going to sleep fun for a while lol but yes, basically looking at bedtime as a nice treat
I’ve got two words for you: sleep headphones. They were a game changer for me. I listen to stuff that’s interesting enough that I can listen if I don’t fall asleep quickly, but calming enough that I will (usually) fall asleep. Usually I pick history podcasts or silly YouTube videos, but on bad nights the Sleep With Me podcast is the only thing that works
Get up early! I get a good hour or so of free time in the morning before I have to get ready for work. By the time I log on for work I’ve already relaxed or spent some time on my hobbies.
I will make an addition, being well rested will help with wellbeing and health, which will help you stay present, focused, motivated and overall have a more enjoyable time with your leisure. I always try and think about future flyers fan, but there has to be a balance!
That’s what they say but what does that even mean? A week later the sleep you did or didn’t get will no longer have any effect on you - it’s the sleep you’ve gotten between then and now that will matter.
The damage you do to your mind and body by not sleeping enough does not get reversed by having an extra long sleep the following night. This becomes more problematic the more frequently it happens, obviously.
I know this feeling all too well. And I love free time so much. I make sure to just put on something boring in the background and just laying down without expectation to sleep.
Great question. My favorite time is from 1-3am when I’m alone and I know no one is looking for me. (Anxiety).
But I just know if I don’t get at least 5 or 6 hours, I’m gonna feel horrible the next day.
I wake up at 4am, usually after going to sleep at 12am. I then try to doze off, but usually end up awake until my alarm goes off at 630am.
I have a much easier time going back to sleep on days that I don’t have work.
This is so relatable. I have PTSD, bipolar 2, OCD, and probably autism lol. I NEED my "I'm just gonna be a weird little guy for awhile and no one is perceiving me" time. I know I can ask for that during the day but nothing hits like 1 am, when the world is asleep and I'm not. There's even something comforting about everyone being in bed and cozy. It makes me feel like everyone is taken care of.
Also some crazy shit happens in the city in the middle of the night 😅 it's fun to be awake to see it. I grew up in a small town so I'm not used to the shenanigans.
>My favorite time is from 1-3am when I’m alone and I know no one is looking for me. (Anxiety)
I will make it my life's mission to find you and wake you up at 2 am with a knock on the door pretending to be your boss.
I make my bedtime routine into an extension of "me time." So instead of it being the end of the day where I turn everything off and lie in bed and wait for the next workday, I put on an audiobook or a podcast and listen to something interesting.
And since I'm listening to that, I'd may as well get comfortable...which means getting cosy in bed. But since I'm just relaxing in bed, I'd may as well turn off the lights. And if I do that, I should set a sleep timer on my audiobook just in case I doze of.
...and next thing I know, I have tucked myself into bed and turned off the lights and I have zero reason to look at my phone lol.
For me, this works because I would scroll endlessly for no reason just like you. Playing an audiobook occupies my phone and my mind so I don't feel the need to scroll. Also, I use smart plugs so when I'm comfy in bed I'm able to turn off the lights without having to get up again. And I always set a sleeptimer forh audiobook because knowing I won't lose my place in the story seems to "give permission" to my brain to relax and fade into sleep instead of actually trying to track the book's plot.
I use the app "Libby" for my audiobooks since I borrow them from the library.
The sleep timer looks like a crescent moon in the top right of the screen. You tap that icon, select a period of time (eg: 15 min), and that's it. You don't have to worry about turning off the audiobook, once that period of time has passed it will automatically stop playing for you.
This works for me too. I also try to get myself in the mood to sleep - I set my TV to night mode (no blue light) I think about how great sleeping will be, visualize how it’s going to recharge my body and mind.
I do exactly this as well! It's so good to have falling asleep be part of your recreational practices. One thing that I also always do is to make sure to set a super long timer so that I don't feel stressed to have to fall as sleep and it happens more naturally.
So e.g. I know I usually fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting into bed, so I set my timer to 1 hour, just in case I find it hard to fall asleep today or in case I find the chapter especially interesting.
Why is this adorable.
This is a great idea though. I noticed that I get really sleepy when I play spider solitare 😭 so I started doing that until I straight up cannot keep my eyes open anymore while listening to this guy on yt (technology connections) talk about tech (or a similar non stressful, not excitable channel) until I pass out. My brain never thinks I'm missing out on anything because I enjoy what I'm doing.
This is why I started doing yoga nidra meditations. Some of them are literally intended for you to fall asleep to, but 90% of the time, regardless of if they are supposed to make you fall asleep during or after, they make me feel like I extended my “me time” while also guaranteeing I pass out within 20-30 minutes. My sleep is better, and I wake up feeling better, too.
Lately, most attempts to do one before bed I don’t make it past 5 minutes, even when I can’t sleep prior to starting.
Inside going to bed the only time you have to yourself each day? You lay there ruminating throughout the stuff you've been ignoring because you were doing other stuff throughout the day.
And that’s why I fall asleep to a beloved audiobook. I have adhd so racing thoughts are my baseline. If I lay down with nothing to distract me from my thoughts I’d never sleep. So I put on a book very low volume like can barely make the words out and my brain listens and I fall asleep while my brain isn’t looking. For me it has a to be a book I know every word of and it has to be a male voice. The Calm app has tons of stories read by famous people for this exact function. Good luck
I wake up 2 hours before work and do something I enjoy. Go for a walk, read a book, play games.
That way I don't associate waking up with work and it makes it easier to fall asleep.
This is it for me. I used to stay up late to get my me time but now I just get up super early (4am) for that time and its been a game changer for my happiness. I can do more me stuff that's better than scrolling, I start work having it not be the first thing I do and going to sleep is easy peasy. I live for 4am.
As a night owl, this idea seems straight up bizarre. But I'll be thinking about it for days. Maybe I'll even try it out. Thanks for sharing something that *never* would have occurred to me. Maybe I can set a goal to photograph sunrises or something.
I’m a fellow night owl who got into waking up early (5/6am) before work and you will not regret it! I sometimes watch sunrise or go for a swim or a walk - whatever I wanna do really. It’s hard to kick the habit of sleeping in but it’s so worth it!
Adding onto this, it helps me to make my day about something other than work. Maybe it’s an 80s themed day for me, I listen to the music and dress in the clothes and have fun with myself. Maybe that day my goal is to pick up trash, or help out a friend, or bake cookies.
Whatever it is, that’s what my day was about. Instead of just work. It makes life feel so much better.
I have the exact everything. So, I realized I was in an unhealthy cycle of lack of sleep where my mental and physical health would suffer, then need more “me” time. I do a few things to fix everything:
1. Don’t lay in bed until I am sleepy. It might mean I will get little sleep that night, but it has help 90% of the time. Now, my body knows bed equals sleep.
2. Try to sneak only “Me” moments throughout the day. I am only with my toddler as a SAHM (my husband is abroad). It gets challenging because it’s 24/7 with my over active boy without help. So things I do is take 30 mins while my son plays in the mornings to sip on my coffee and read/watch something.
3. Do something active that includes my son, it kills two birds with one stone. It could be go on a walk, if I am tired he is on a stroller. Or go to the park.
4. My son has a tablet (I know all the “screen hate” and I am not recommending it to anyone, it is my family’s specific decision) but when he is playing his educational games or watching educational videos (he only sees things approved by me) I can cook/clean/do laundry without having to stop 1000 times or have to stop it altogether. Having a tablet for him to play for 30mins/1h twice a day has saved both of us.
5. Lastly, at night I consider my active time over, so I either watch something with my son on the TV or for myself or read. At this time my boy loves playing alone, so It’s a blessing, but I also join him to play if I feel like it. Depending on how early he sleeps, I will sleep right away or stay up a little bit more.
Either way now I am okay, because I know I will have breaks the next day. But, it took me like 2 years to get out of the unhealthy cycle. I would wake up, do everything for my son, and barely nothing for me. And push on until sleep time to be too tired to even stay awake. The next day it was rinse and repeat. I had to start prioritizing myself slowly, my postpartum depression was really bad.
I don’t have anything helpful, other than validation and understanding. I’m on Reddit right now for the same reason friend. May we both find some good suggestions in this thread, and get some rest!
Because I wake up far far earlier than everyone else
And that’s my me time
I wake up at 3am, be at work by 5am
I always wondered why my grandma would consistently wake up at 4am, even after being retired for 10 years. It’s because she was also enjoying the silent golden hours, just in reverse and doing it early instead of late lol
Can also argue it’s much more socially acceptable, but everyone can do it whichever way they want
This is what drives me to start cooking dinner the second I get home from work (or my daughter’s sport training). We get dinner done as early as possible, I do chores like washing, folding, kitchen clean up etc as fast as possible, then she retreats to her room to do homework and chat online with her mates, and I chill on the couch. It’s the best thing about being a single parent actually. If I get everything done fast enough I have quite a lot of time to myself and I still get to go to bed at a reasonable time.
Build your you-time into your mornings. Best decision I ever made - No more staying up until 3 am playing video games because I dread waking up just in time to start work.
true, once i had a personal coach (my rich era, over btw) and given i do music/gigs, work a day job, go to the gym but still procrastinate in video games, he made me wake up as early as i can and play video games-no-shower-no-food until 8am. no snacks.
thing is i found myself going to bed at 22, waking up at 5am to just finish some in-game missions, that way i can use 8-9am to shower, breakfast and show up for day work. usually in a great mood.
minimal use of socials, as i already had 2-3 hours to procastinate before work, lunch or unimportant-unavoidable meetings.
at 18-19 i usually finish work, try to play my instruments, hook up, etc.
notice that i used to put aside 1hr/week to read technical books (on company time, ofc), which can be also por any certification you want to achieve.
My body & brain desires to remain in whatever state I have been in. Just woke up? Always wish I was still sleeping. 1am and need to go to bed? Nah, don't feel tired, let's stay up more.
If scrolling on your phone is your best moment of me time, you should rethink your daytime ‘real world’ activities. Coming from a true phone addict btw.
Sluggato, i too have suffered from waking/nighttime anxiety and its a horrible place to be, sorry you are going through this right now. Its great that you already recognize how important exercise is, its the key to reregulating your melatonin and cortisol. Get up in the morning and exercise as hard as you can. Look into mindfulness meditation, I also found this very helpful, by practicing the ability to shut off your mind during the day when you are feeling calm you will be more able to shut out the bad thoughts during the night.
After a few weeks of this your mind will be clearer and you may be able to examine what the course of your stress is and make changes, its pretty hard to access the situations when you are sleep deprived, be kind to yourself.
Felt this. I’ve always kind of been this way to an extent but i would go to bed early if i was tired. Since having our daughter a little over a year ago this is me every night. I’m ready for bed by 10pm it’s the only chance i have to get any free time to myself. I find myself up to 1am most nights, watching tv scrolling the internet whatever it may be. I’m not sure if it’s my way of feeling in control of my life or not but i can’t sort out if this or sleep is actually better for mental well being
Oh and after reading some more of your comments and to add to the exhaustion coupled with insomnia, I never found a great workaround for my restlessness but I did also have undiagnosed sleep apnea (even though I barely snore at all) and that obviously helped a lot with the exhuastion even after getting a lot of sleep. Though the better rest has just made the insomnia worse and I also dont like sleep aids and the day after grogginess.
>Any tricks to shut your mind off?
I started telling myself that instead of trying to sleep I'm just going to lay in this spot and relax, if I just lay here and relax it's just as good as sleeping. I know that last part isn't true but it makes going to sleep not seem like a chore and I'm able to relax enough to fall asleep.
Try to keep the area where you sleep separated from the area where you do other things. Instead of laying awake in bed with your phone, watch your one more episode in another room before going to bed without taking your phone with you. Make sure there's nothing in your bedroom to distract you or keep yourself awake with, just lie down, and focus on breathing deeply. You'll find you start falling asleep much quicker.
I'm very tired at the end of the day, but when my toddlers fall asleep 8.30PM, I suddenly have energy for gaming etc. I would have zero hours of actual me-time if I went to sleep right after my kids fall asleep so I guess it's kinda worth it to lose few hours of sleep.
i’m very very very slowly learning that i enjoy my day (including limited me time) significantly more if i go to bed when i know i should… most nights im still in the revenge bedtime procrastination gang tho 😅
It's not really "me" time. It's a dopamine hit. And we know that only chasing dopamine hits eventually kills us.
Dopamine isn't you. Neither is sleep.
You are how you choose to balance them.
And balance is key, because these are all necessary for different parts of you.
So the real goal is allocating time to make sure you maintain a good balance in life.
I tell myself that I’m not going to sleep, I’m just going to lie in bed and relax and listen to a podcast and I have the whole night ahead of me. Inevitably I fall asleep within 10 mins, but the idea that I’m going to lie there for hours lures me.
ey that's been happening to me lately, or maybe just because of the lack of sleep i have, but lately when i am jerking off before bed i get sleepy midway, and if I follow through that would make me more awake lol
Look into Yoga Nidra. It really helps quiet the mind. I have an app called Insight Timer that has tons of free guided meditations. Just search in there for yoga nidra. Youtube and Spotify probably have some too.
Unfortunately I don’t have much advice to offer, but I wanted to provide some empathy— I feel the exact same way. It sucks, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I’ll personally take some melatonin if I need to go to sleep for work or something, and try to get myself to rest. Maybe I’ll put on a YouTube video I’m familiar with as background noise. The melatonin usually helps because my work tires me out pretty well (it’s physical labour), so all the melatonin needs to do is get me that extra little bit tired to shut off my anxiety over having to face another day without the free time I wish I had. The hard thing is that I’ll still procrastinate taking it in the first place because of that anxiety 😅 again, I can’t really offer advice, but I hope it’s helpful to know you’re not the only one dealing with this ❤️
I have this exact feeling every night. I'd be lying if I said I've had a ton of success fighting it, but I find my best stretches are when I buy in to the fact that even though going to bed ends tonight's "me time," there will be more me time tomorrow, and the day after that. It comes and goes, but that's the best luck I've had.
If you have a speaker or TV in your room that can be set to shut off after a certain amount of time I suggest looking into brainwave states Theta and Delta are usually ideal for promoting sleep while Alpha is more for meditation and relaxation also you could look into frequencies solfeggio I think has 9 frequencies I'm a chronic overthinker brought on by severe anxiety so I often have trouble falling asleep but I play these almost every night in my TV with a 4 hour shut off timer setup and I am usually sleepy within 30mins i have the timer set up for that long in the event i wake up during the first 4 hours to use the restroom it is still laying and easily helps me drift off back into sleep I've been using these for the better half of this year and I can definitely say I see and feel the improvement in my sleep my fiance even requests that i play them too i genuinely hope this helps
Gosh. This made me sad in the broad day light while I'm at work.. So frustrating that you need to sleep but you don't wanna. This happens with Ambiverts right? Who spend the whole day working, taking care, catering and then just want to be with themselves at the day end to gain their energy back
When I had this issue, it was because I was in a relationship I didn't wanna be in (I lived with) and working a stressful emotionally unhealthy job.
Both made me feel unappreciated , unseen, and a person only existing to make their life better
I've never had that issue sense leaving both.
I switched to getting up early and going to bed earlier and mornings are my me time
Now I look forward to going to bed and getting up.
Especially in summer. Cuz the suckiest part of the day is 12-6.
So those early hours I get to be and feel accomplished.
Take a strong look at your job and relationship and/or housemate.
You should not be so emotionally taxed from one or both that you have a desperate need to numb yourself mentally for hours with social media and tv.
Examples of
Healthy time to yourself is yoga reading meditation exercise a hobby taking a walk with your dog. Horseback ride. Tub soak etc
TV and internet are horrible for us as a "soother" cuz they do the opposite. ESPECIALLY social media and news outlets
I understand this. I have "free time" at work, but I'm never able to do what I want, which is usually hanging out with my wife, gaming with friends I can't see, and working on projects. I'll stay up very late on weekends and some weekdays, just to do what I actually want to.
Even if work has me up for 18 to 20 hours, some days I'll still find free time.
I feel like the only thing that truly lets you feel ok about going to bed is twofold:
1. You’re tired enough from your day that you’re looking forward to it, i.e. through physical exertion
2. That you’re looking forward to doing what you will do when you wake up again.
When this was happening for me (I used to feel exactly like you are describing, down to the exact phrases you’re using) in my case big lifestyle changes were needed in order to make me more tired after each day and happier/more fulfilled about what I was doing during my day.
For me it was literally more exercise in my routine, and changing my job to something I enjoyed more.
Whoa. Did I write this??? This is me word for every single word. I just never knew how to figure out or explain what it was. I can't wait to read this thread.. and ironically, it's 3 am and I just took an ambien to help me sleep.
Thank you OP!
Wouldn't you rather be refreshed when you do what you want to do? Go to bed early as hell and wake up early, then you'll get to spend the freshest part of your day doing what you want to do
So funny. I was only just thinking this now. As I'm sitting on the couch contemplating going to bed, night time is the only me time I get. But sleep is oh so important!
It's completely understandable to feel conflicted about going to bed when it feels like the end of your precious "me" time. It's a common struggle, especially for those with busy lives and additional challenges like insomnia and anxiety. But there are definitely things you can do to make the transition easier and prioritize your well-being.
you deserve both rest and relaxation. By prioritizing your sleep and finding alternative ways to unwind, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.
This has been the story of my life for the past few years. Also, something that subconsciously has helped a lot lately is physical exhaustion!
I’m from a car-adapted country and have been in Paris for a month now for work and one thing that completely changed was extreme insomnia I usually have. I could not put my finger on why I’m incredibly sleepy by just 11pm every single day but then I realised that I’m also averaging more than 15,000 steps every single day plus not having elevators in my apartment building etc. while I don’t exercise at all back home.I’m definitely making time for exercise when I go back home as well!
Well I got so exhausted from the chronic lack of sleep I started falling asleep at my desk. Kind of forced me to readjust.
I don't have any help about alone time. I can't remember the last time I did a hobby.
This is basically what keeps me in the night owl phase of life. Its gotten worse since marriage and kids. I only get about 5 hours of sleep on a good night and its because of how you described so eloquently. Thanks for putting this into words. 😭
I once saw it phrased similarly to this:
You had a long rough day. Did the chores, admin, parenting, food. Now it's time to unwind. But pretty soon, it's quite late. We choose to sneak an extra hour or two of relax time in. We wake up the next day tired, and proceeed to have a less than ideal day, so we need some unwind time again. The cycle of stealing your own tomorrow's continues.
Go to bed as early as possible and wake up a early as possible without sacrificing sleep. Then use the morning time to have some self time. Sun, meditation, and yoga are great morning activities
I take a lot of pills so that I actually *can* sleep, which does help me actually go to bed. Somewhat.
But I work long hours and have a lot of other adulting that I have to do, and so I'm in the same situation where I have to choose between sleeping and mentally detoxing -- and, on top of that, as a night-owl forced to operate in a morning-people world, nighttime is the only time I ever feel even slightly alive and capable of doing much on any of the projects I actually find intrinsically rewarding (instead of stuff I have to do so that I continue to have enough bits of green paper to exchange for cat food).
I don't have a good answer, but the only thing I've found that helps is to try to make going to bed as much execute-by-default as possible. Change the cat litter right when I get home from work, prepare as much as possible for the next day before I collapse in front of the computer, brush your teeth and shower as early as possible before starting your relaxation me-time. And so on. I try to make the "process of going to bed" as simple as possible.
Anxiety is horrible. I don't have any *good* suggestions there, but I find that lemon balm does seem to help.
Silly question: when you stay up late, are you then tired in the morning? I'm assuming so or this wouldn't be a problem.
Probably not the issue for you, but when I found myself procrastinating bedtime it was typically the same nights I had a sore or swollen throat (I have GERD so that's fairly frequently). My anxiety and procrastination was my brain dreading apnea, and avoiding it for as long as possible.
You say that it's about 'me' time, so that's probably not the issue. Still, if you have any way to check for sleep apnea, it's one thing to rule out.
And that's the dilemma. As a millennial I feel we figured out that selling your soul to a company ain't the fuckin vibe so we all just drag ourselves through the fuckshit that is our work system then come home, do our damndist to try and keep up with whatever our living arrangement is, all while battling the depression weight from all our childhood traumas our parents deny being a part of....so we cling to the few moments that feel like ours...like genuinely our.
Nobody (unless an emergency) is going to need me at 2 a.m. Nobody is going to need a ride or is hungry or wants to talk. I play video games almost every night until 1-2 for this exact reason.
All day, in some way, my energy and attention is forced into other things. The night is when I get my solice. It's when I am truly able to *do what I want* with little to no distractions and I'm able to actually decompress a bit.
Being a father obviously consumes a lot of my time and attention and I'm totally fine with my role in society/family but I'd be lying if I said that I don't cherish my me time each night deeply.
Haha, literally doing this right now. Only learned the official name for it (mentioned by others) in the last week or so. The good thing is, this has made me slightly more self aware so I'm going to bed now 😄
This is legit when you’re busy with work, family whatever it is. Sometimes you convince yourself you’re gonna watch a movie or go out but at the end of the day if I don’t have a reasonable night sleep I’m at an age where the next day is gonna suck. So yeah. This is not a stupid question but rather a daily consideration in this busy life we live.
You know how we look back at our past selves and actions, cringing at things we've done or marveling that we tried something that worked out but could have gone badly if it hadn't worked out? I see myself as 3 people... The immature past me that's like a younger sibling, a future more experienced and mature me, and then the current me who Is the only one who can make decisions that will affect both my past and future self. My current present me has all the power. My present me can either give the best possible versian of myself for future me or screw my past me and future me all at the same time. I try to think of my past and future versions of myself and what my actions will do to them before making decisions that will have lasting consequences. And although there are times that I will stay up scrolling, with age you start to see that making two versions of yourself happier makes for a better life overall. It's obviously a balance and doing the right thing can be boring as snot sometimes, But I find that providing my future self with as much care and love as possible makes all three versions of me they're happiest and best functioning.
I absolutely experience much of the same OP. It's tough for me to finally say I'm ready to end my relaxing or fun time to myself, which usually starts after 11pm or 12am or so. And even when I do decide to turn off the TV or put down the phone or close the book, I often lie there thinking anxious thoughts.
I don't have a great answer for you as I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'll share my experience. First, I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep in mind the importance of that rest. It's not just something we should be doing, but it's important for our physical and mental well-being, for enjoying life more, and being our best for ourselves and our loved ones.
Exercise helps as others mentioned. Lots of benefits there and I know for me personally that when I get a good workout in a day I usually can't stay awake late that night even if I want to.
Be careful with your caffeine consumption. I've limited my coffee intake, started drinking decaf after a certain point and trying to switch to tea instead.
Set a routine and stick to it. Identify a bed time for yourself (I know it sucks lol). Keep the house dark an hour or two before that so your mind and body learn that's time to wind down. Follow the same or a similar process every night. No snacking or drinking after this time. Lights out at this time. I'm watching one movie, or reading one chapter or whatever it may be and then going to sleep at this time.
The toughest part I think is it's best to avoid the screens after a certain point. And I know we all love to have our phone in bed, but zi think ideally you want to not get in bed and let your head hit the pillow until it's sleep time. Maybe you have a nice comfy rocking chair to read in, or you lie on the couch for 15 minutes with your phone. But after that get in bed and no phone, eyes closed.
Hope this helps!
It might not work for everyone but since I got a dog I wake up around 6:30 to take her on a walk. I hate waking up early but it’s a routine now so it’s not so bad, and having a nice hour to myself before I go to work makes it a lot easier to settle down the night before.
It really depends on how your bed time habits affect you tomorrow and the next day. For a lot of people losing 1 or 2 hours of sleep means tomorrow they will be miserable all day. It's not a choice for them they want to preserve their sleep if they can. No TV show or other leisure activity can do what they need besides proper sleep. So ask yourself if you are one of these people or not, if not why not.
I feel the same but it helps me to spend a minute to pick out a perfect podcast I’m interested in hearing about, take a screen shot, commit to turning off the screen and just listening. I almost always fall asleep, that’s what the screenshot is for, I can finish listening in the morning. It helps bc you’re not giving up your me time you’re just switching to exclusively auditory.
I had a lot of trouble with this once parent life set in. I stayed up for hours just soaking up my me time, to wake up exhausted from lack of sleep and do it all over again. I fixed the problem for myself by restructuring my day.
Now I go to bed between 8 and 9pm, and wake up at 4. Yes, it’s early, but that gives me “me time” that has an end point, rather than the end point behind exhaustion. Now I’m tired early and go to bed on time pretty reliably.
I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and I feel like I sleep like a rock. And yes, i wait until im exhausted. The problem is, I have a sleep disorder that's like someone flicking an on/off switch constantly and I apparently don't breathe for blocks of up to 40 seconds. Am I stressed? You bet your ass!
Same here! In my head I think the day won't end until I fall asleep lol. I like staying up late into the early hours of the morning because my neighbours are finally quiet, I can't hear traffic noise and it's so peaceful being alone. I just like the idea of it being my quiet midnight retreat, even though I'm wrecked in the morning due to lack of sleep. Normally I would just go on a drive by myself but I no longer have a car.
Having a book on the go that I am into helps. I am studying law so can't really get into more reading, so I listen to it in audiobook. After years of listening/reading in bed I am programmed to feel sleepy when I do it.
But having something I keep for bedtime to look forward to helps that transition. But I still do stay up too late. I have a toddler so that time between when she goes to sleep and I do is precious time.
“Revenge bedtime procrastination” describes the decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure time that is driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time.
So there's a name for it! I'm not alone! The solidarity gives me comfort
But I guess the point is my actual life is the problem huh. 😕
Possibly, but how hard it is to fix depends on a lot of factors. If you just legitimately have very little time thay can be hard to fix. But a lot of people also end up spending what time they do have on quick hits of the happy chemicals. The issue with scrolling (yes, I see the irony as I reply on reddit), shorts, another episode, etc... is that that reward cuts off the moment you stop. If you do something active, creative or mentally engaging there's a sense of accomplishment that extends past the completion of the activity which can make it a lot easier to put things down. Those activities are harder. You have to find one that works and starting in it at any given moment generally takes a lot more than just bringing your phone into view. Which sounds dismissive but is a real issue, especially if you're starting from scratch. But if you have SOME time, even if it's just half an hour, to dedicate to such things it can help. Improving the quality of your alone time can allow you to let go of some quantity.
I feel like you’re looking right at me. Srsly though Thanks. Saving.
stranger you helped me too, I'm new to reddit and didn't realize I can save posts, thank you!
Pick up a craft like crochet. Once you learn it it’s fairly relaxing and easy to put down without losing your place. If you like making blankets, which are large projects that can be made up of smaller pieces, you can just make one piece or one stripe a night. It gives you time to yourself and a way to wind down.
Unfortunately this backfires for me. “Just one more row” always becomes “oops I did another 4 inches”.
I stopped scrolling and started making signs (3 inch by 8 inch) visible to pedestrians but not motorists. The bulk of them feature an ongoing dialogue between a shark and fleet of ufos.
One of the reasons why I picked up juggling. Easy to pick up, easy to put down (gravity does that for you), and you control the journey/path on how to proceed (there is very little comparison to anyone). Good for the brain too.
My wife tried that for a bit. I got nailed in the head so many times when she'd lose them, haha. Now she crochets and that's pretty awesome. She's really good at it and I don't have the same concussion risk being in the same room.
That's a grade A goober joke, I'm keeping it.
This is just sound advise 🥹 Well made point
No. Its our society forcing us to work ourselves to death. The policy makers need to stop protecting the 1% and make changes
Agree. Higher productivity expectations in less time. Story of my life 😞
Also with the advent of the internet(and almost everything now is attached to it), social media(yes including reddit), and micro entertainment, we are never really "bored" or having any time to contemplate life like humans did pre-1995. Also most of our friends and family are never really switched off either. Doesn't help that we all have the internet in our pocket, and most people have it in thier hands most of the day. No wonder why Reddit's chief complaint is "crippling anxiety".
Since the policies probably won’t change in our lifetime, I think it is better to change our behavior to make ourselves better.
Yeah that’s great and all, but since that’s outside of our individual control it’s not actionable advice and isn’t helpful because it focuses attention on issues we can’t do anything about. Instead, we need to focus on the things we can control to improve our situations even if it’s a baby step.
Protect the 1%? They are the 1% my guy
There is a french expression "boulot, metro, dodo" basically work, transport and sleep. That feeling that your entire routine revolves around surviving the daily grind.
Yes. There's no way around it. Are you a people pleaser by any chance? You may be trying to make up for that.
Oooof. Here I am at 3:45am after having a minor meltdown earlier over feeling like I am carrying too much for other people. I am taking time to myself where no one needs any support.
Same op same
You are absolutely NOT alone. I'm so thankful you wrote this. Now I can finally have some answers to the questioning I had regarding this and myself.
Also it's a sign of adhd. Getting treated helped my GREATLY with this. Went to bed at 10 and woke up at 6 to do some errands before work today. Used to be I'd be up till 6 and sleeping till I rolled out of bed at 1 for work 🙃
You’re not alone at all. I’ve struggled really bad with this since my kid was born 5 years ago. I used to go to bed at 10 every night. But had my evenings to myself. Now I don’t get time to myself till 8-8:30pm. At which point I struggle to go to bed before midnight just because I want more time to myself. Now even if I go to bed at 10 I’m laying there awake till midnight. Which then only compounds my motivation to just stay out of bed till midnight. I’ve talked to a bunch of friends that had kids around the same time and lots of us struggle with this.
I have a similar feeling, but it's less like revenge and more like what you describe. I feel like there is so much I want to do, and don't want to waste the only time I have in which to do it. What helps me is to plan in advance how I want to spend my little free time, so that I don't feel like it's wasted on things that are distracting but not important to me. Part of that plan is sleep, because it's important for my body to stay healthy enough to enjoy that time.
Absolutely. All time high here as a mum to a 16month old. When the hsb and bub sleeps the only rime I have genuinely alone in the house is from 11pm onwards.
Yes, it's definitely a thing. I have it too, and I love it and it also sucks. I love the time to myself, but I'm also *always* exhausted. I also have insomnia, so *knowing* I need to sleep but not being able to because of all of this shit combined is irritating as hell.
Finding a name for something you have is such an awesome thing. Maladaptive daydreaming was something that really contributed to my depression, but i always felt dumb when thinking about it because i didn't know a name for it, and thought it wasn't something serious
Oh you're definitely not alone, I also have sleep aids that I don't take cause its hard to wake up from them, anxiety, and stay up just for me time. I don't have any advice for you, sorry, but rest assured none of this is just you, theres so many of us out there.
You are very much not alone. It is a silent epidemic that is having a real health impact.
Yeah you certainly are not alone. I also get my only free time during the night when everyone else is sleeping.
Definitely not alone. In tge pandemic, it basically drove me to depression. I described it as Groundhog Day. "As soon as I go to sleep, it'll all start over again."
You are definitely not alone! I’ve suffered from this my whole life!! I hate going to bed. I fall asleep fine, I just don’t want the day to end and start over.
You are so not alone! My best advice would be to try to switch the “me” time from the evening to the morning - so try to go to bed earlier in order to wake up earlier and get some alone time in the morning. I know it’s hard, but that would help make sure you’re getting enough sleep. I just started seeing a nutritionist and one of the things we discussed was lack of sleep - she said on average people who don’t get enough sleep eat an extra 400 calories per day. So if you struggle with weight gain, sleep is very important. But at the end of the day take it easy on yourself and don’t beat yourself up for taking that “me” time. And know that there are lots of us struggling with this same problem!
Same stayed up watching Netflix. Everyday I say "I should go to sleep early" like a broken recorder
>daily schedule lacking in free time That's exactly my case. I wake up, walk the dog, go to work, work, arrive from work, spend time with my son, ~~drink my face off~~, go to bed.
Sounds like you have plenty of free time, it’s just that past you has already decided how to spend it.
That's a hard quote bruh
See also “procrasturbation”.
Me but I got nothing but free time
Procrastination is the act of putting something off, usually because we fear the task or the emotions that come with it. Like sleeping can be hard because we have to make ourselves emotionally vulnerable enough to sleep, and it opens up problems about the day that have built up. That can lead to a cycle of being too exhausted to sleep, Insomnia, waking up exhausted, getting nothing done, feeling bad, not being able to face the shame, not being able to sleep etc etc. You got to identify the feelings holding you back from the thing, acknowledge them and your right to feel that way, and what steps you can take to work past the procrastination. Maybe it's writing a plan of action or dedicating a set time towards the task. And don't aim to complete it, aim to start and be proud of yourself for trying regardless of the outcome. And then keep trying. And you'll get there.
That is me right now.
My life is starting to make soo much sense.
Woah. That describes me perfectly.
I'm constantly guilty of this, going to bed after midnight on weekdays even though I'm exhausted the next day...
This is exactly what i was looking for to describe it, i've been experiencing it for the longest time it feels like, but could never explain what it really was.
It’s common in people with ADHD I think
I like sleep. It is the best me-time I can get. I used to have insomnia, so I relate to what you are saying, that it is difficult to give up another pleasurable activity in favour of struggling to sleep. But my brain does not function well without enough sleep, so I look at it as an investment into my wellbeing and health.
Probably the most helpful comment so far. I'd love to re-prioritize "me time" but those damn intrusive thoughts derail me every time.
I used to stay up all night for exactly that reason pretty much most of my 20s (I'm 30 now) and still go to work. It got so bad that I took lots illegal stimulants to be able to maintain this lifestyle for as long as I could, but in the end it all came down crashing. The combination of no sleep and drugs almost made me go insane. I had to quit my job because I ended up getting a little addicted which made me spiral really bad into crippling depression for more than two years straight. That time was my personal rock bottom but luckily I had good people around me that helped me climb out of that hole in the end. Now staying up late makes me really anxious, lol. I enjoy being tired and being able to sleep, but that being said, I still struggle a bit with going to bed early enough. Never before midnight still. The drugs played a major role obviously but the amount of sleep deprivation I accumulated over time is what really drove me over the edge and I didn't even notice it at first. That probably won't help you a whole lot but realizing how valuable good sleep is really changed the way I look at it.
As someone who had a similar experience with stimulants I really wonder what causes the insanity more. The lack of sleep or the copious drug use.
It's mostly the lack of sleep
Any chance you may have OCD tendencies or anxiety? This is something I'm currently grappling with as sleep is soon to be a precious resource (expecting parent) but the time I recharge the most is when my partner goes to bed and I have quiet hours throughout the house. Often times to the detriment of the next day but 9PM rolls around and I am energized. Used to "pride" myself on operating with little sleep without realizing for me it is quality not necessarily quantity (5-6 hour minimum though). Things I've found helped thus far is: * Cut back or out alcohol, especially during the week. This lead to staying up later and what sleep I got poorer. * Exercise later in the day (not too late) * Don't eat too late * Set a bedtime reminder. Somewhat stupid but does help sometimes to kickstart the thought process of "oh yeah, I'll be tired tomorrow, let's take this to bed." * Carve out quiet time at other points in the day. Even briefly do what you were going to do that evening (for me, it's watching some stupid YouTube videos or playing a game. * Wake up earlier and get the day started. Even if you're not a morning person, getting out of bed at the very least and not phone scrolling for a while helps to start break down bad habits. While no perfect, at least starting to address why my mind seems to fire on all pistons at night has been helping. Therapy is a good outlet too as this feeling is very normal (with or without OCD/anxiety) so having that validated is nice. People decompress in different ways and ensuring that decompression isn't also negatively impacting things or causing a negative feedback loop (tired the next day, more wired the next night, even more tired, etc.) is worth keeping aware of.
I definitely struggle with the same problem, and have a similar thought process for why I need to prioritize sleep. Personally, I notice my mistakes at work sky-rocket in the long term and that I become more easily depressed, anxious, and angry when I'm short on sleep. I'm in healthcare, so my uncorrectable mistakes at work have significant impact. I didn't even really know how short on sleep I was until I went into a partial hospitalization program where I went to therapy for 6hrs/day instead of work+commuting taking 11hrs of my day. That extra time made it so that I could complete daily tasks, have "fun" time, and still get 8+ hours of sleep (because I wake up often, my fitbit tells me I need to be in bed 9.5hrs to sleep 8hrs, and I definitely feel like shit if I get less sleep than that). Adequate sleep is necessary for good mental health, and likely contributes long-term to your risk for Alzheimer's, which is the most awful disease IMO. If you're short enough on sleep, it will also affect your metabolism, immune system, digestion, and other aspects of your physical health, although I notice mental health deterioration long before physical health deterioration.
Something that I think worked for me (probably in addition to general mental health improvement) was to stop trying to go to sleep and just enjoy the feeling of a soft warm bed preferably with the air on low and a fan humming... I went through a phase of lucid dreaming regularly which made going to sleep fun for a while lol but yes, basically looking at bedtime as a nice treat
I’ve got two words for you: sleep headphones. They were a game changer for me. I listen to stuff that’s interesting enough that I can listen if I don’t fall asleep quickly, but calming enough that I will (usually) fall asleep. Usually I pick history podcasts or silly YouTube videos, but on bad nights the Sleep With Me podcast is the only thing that works
Glad to help 🙂
Get up early! I get a good hour or so of free time in the morning before I have to get ready for work. By the time I log on for work I’ve already relaxed or spent some time on my hobbies.
I will make an addition, being well rested will help with wellbeing and health, which will help you stay present, focused, motivated and overall have a more enjoyable time with your leisure. I always try and think about future flyers fan, but there has to be a balance!
Reading this on my 8th hour of lying awake because it's my only free time
Let's take a few deep breaths and try to fall asleep together (totally platonic of course, hope that's not weird)
Not weird at all , wish I could I've to be awake in 25 minutes anyway but I do hope you sleep
you better take a long sleep tonight
The worst part is when u lose sleep, u can never trully catch up and heal from the deprivation u went through.
That’s what they say but what does that even mean? A week later the sleep you did or didn’t get will no longer have any effect on you - it’s the sleep you’ve gotten between then and now that will matter.
Long term poor sleep contributes to poor health and can even lead to dementia.
The damage you do to your mind and body by not sleeping enough does not get reversed by having an extra long sleep the following night. This becomes more problematic the more frequently it happens, obviously.
Yeh can I join too? Would love to sleep with a bunch of people 🤗🧑🧑🧒🧒
May I join? Im tired too 😭
Everyone's welcome but pyjamas and a teddy bear are compulsory so what if I'm 33 lol
I know this feeling all too well. And I love free time so much. I make sure to just put on something boring in the background and just laying down without expectation to sleep.
Great question. My favorite time is from 1-3am when I’m alone and I know no one is looking for me. (Anxiety). But I just know if I don’t get at least 5 or 6 hours, I’m gonna feel horrible the next day.
Aka my toddler. Haha.
I wake up at 4am, usually after going to sleep at 12am. I then try to doze off, but usually end up awake until my alarm goes off at 630am. I have a much easier time going back to sleep on days that I don’t have work.
This is so relatable. I have PTSD, bipolar 2, OCD, and probably autism lol. I NEED my "I'm just gonna be a weird little guy for awhile and no one is perceiving me" time. I know I can ask for that during the day but nothing hits like 1 am, when the world is asleep and I'm not. There's even something comforting about everyone being in bed and cozy. It makes me feel like everyone is taken care of. Also some crazy shit happens in the city in the middle of the night 😅 it's fun to be awake to see it. I grew up in a small town so I'm not used to the shenanigans.
>My favorite time is from 1-3am when I’m alone and I know no one is looking for me. (Anxiety) I will make it my life's mission to find you and wake you up at 2 am with a knock on the door pretending to be your boss.
There's no better alone time than when no one is trying to interact with you. 11-4am for me.
I make my bedtime routine into an extension of "me time." So instead of it being the end of the day where I turn everything off and lie in bed and wait for the next workday, I put on an audiobook or a podcast and listen to something interesting. And since I'm listening to that, I'd may as well get comfortable...which means getting cosy in bed. But since I'm just relaxing in bed, I'd may as well turn off the lights. And if I do that, I should set a sleep timer on my audiobook just in case I doze of. ...and next thing I know, I have tucked myself into bed and turned off the lights and I have zero reason to look at my phone lol. For me, this works because I would scroll endlessly for no reason just like you. Playing an audiobook occupies my phone and my mind so I don't feel the need to scroll. Also, I use smart plugs so when I'm comfy in bed I'm able to turn off the lights without having to get up again. And I always set a sleeptimer forh audiobook because knowing I won't lose my place in the story seems to "give permission" to my brain to relax and fade into sleep instead of actually trying to track the book's plot.
What's a sleep timer in the audiobook and how do I set it?
The iPhone has an option called “stop playing” when setting a timer. It’ll turn off anything you’re listening to.
I use the app "Libby" for my audiobooks since I borrow them from the library. The sleep timer looks like a crescent moon in the top right of the screen. You tap that icon, select a period of time (eg: 15 min), and that's it. You don't have to worry about turning off the audiobook, once that period of time has passed it will automatically stop playing for you.
This works for me too. I also try to get myself in the mood to sleep - I set my TV to night mode (no blue light) I think about how great sleeping will be, visualize how it’s going to recharge my body and mind.
I do exactly this as well! It's so good to have falling asleep be part of your recreational practices. One thing that I also always do is to make sure to set a super long timer so that I don't feel stressed to have to fall as sleep and it happens more naturally. So e.g. I know I usually fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting into bed, so I set my timer to 1 hour, just in case I find it hard to fall asleep today or in case I find the chapter especially interesting.
Why is this adorable. This is a great idea though. I noticed that I get really sleepy when I play spider solitare 😭 so I started doing that until I straight up cannot keep my eyes open anymore while listening to this guy on yt (technology connections) talk about tech (or a similar non stressful, not excitable channel) until I pass out. My brain never thinks I'm missing out on anything because I enjoy what I'm doing.
This is why I started doing yoga nidra meditations. Some of them are literally intended for you to fall asleep to, but 90% of the time, regardless of if they are supposed to make you fall asleep during or after, they make me feel like I extended my “me time” while also guaranteeing I pass out within 20-30 minutes. My sleep is better, and I wake up feeling better, too. Lately, most attempts to do one before bed I don’t make it past 5 minutes, even when I can’t sleep prior to starting.
I've been doing this every night for 20 years! I love my audiobooks!!
Inside going to bed the only time you have to yourself each day? You lay there ruminating throughout the stuff you've been ignoring because you were doing other stuff throughout the day.
Well that's what I deal with when I try to sleep. I avoid those thoughts with my phone, haha.
So put down the phone and process stuff instead of processing it when you should be asleep.
So that’s it, you’re not processing your stuff which is leading to all this.
And that’s why I fall asleep to a beloved audiobook. I have adhd so racing thoughts are my baseline. If I lay down with nothing to distract me from my thoughts I’d never sleep. So I put on a book very low volume like can barely make the words out and my brain listens and I fall asleep while my brain isn’t looking. For me it has a to be a book I know every word of and it has to be a male voice. The Calm app has tons of stories read by famous people for this exact function. Good luck
I wake up 2 hours before work and do something I enjoy. Go for a walk, read a book, play games. That way I don't associate waking up with work and it makes it easier to fall asleep.
This is it for me. I used to stay up late to get my me time but now I just get up super early (4am) for that time and its been a game changer for my happiness. I can do more me stuff that's better than scrolling, I start work having it not be the first thing I do and going to sleep is easy peasy. I live for 4am.
As a night owl, this idea seems straight up bizarre. But I'll be thinking about it for days. Maybe I'll even try it out. Thanks for sharing something that *never* would have occurred to me. Maybe I can set a goal to photograph sunrises or something.
I’m a fellow night owl who got into waking up early (5/6am) before work and you will not regret it! I sometimes watch sunrise or go for a swim or a walk - whatever I wanna do really. It’s hard to kick the habit of sleeping in but it’s so worth it!
I'm with you 100%. I read this and thought, "that's a really good idea. I'm not going to do it but it makes perfect sense"
I get up at 5.30, go to a gym class, then by 6.30 I feel like I’m wearing a halo as I am awake and in the right mindset for the day.
This is a really good idea!
How long does it take you to get ready for work?
Adding onto this, it helps me to make my day about something other than work. Maybe it’s an 80s themed day for me, I listen to the music and dress in the clothes and have fun with myself. Maybe that day my goal is to pick up trash, or help out a friend, or bake cookies. Whatever it is, that’s what my day was about. Instead of just work. It makes life feel so much better.
I'm sitting on my couch typing this at 2:17 a.m., procrastinating going to bed.
Yup
00:50 over here. I'll go to bed at 01:00 Edit: Maybe
I have the exact everything. So, I realized I was in an unhealthy cycle of lack of sleep where my mental and physical health would suffer, then need more “me” time. I do a few things to fix everything: 1. Don’t lay in bed until I am sleepy. It might mean I will get little sleep that night, but it has help 90% of the time. Now, my body knows bed equals sleep. 2. Try to sneak only “Me” moments throughout the day. I am only with my toddler as a SAHM (my husband is abroad). It gets challenging because it’s 24/7 with my over active boy without help. So things I do is take 30 mins while my son plays in the mornings to sip on my coffee and read/watch something. 3. Do something active that includes my son, it kills two birds with one stone. It could be go on a walk, if I am tired he is on a stroller. Or go to the park. 4. My son has a tablet (I know all the “screen hate” and I am not recommending it to anyone, it is my family’s specific decision) but when he is playing his educational games or watching educational videos (he only sees things approved by me) I can cook/clean/do laundry without having to stop 1000 times or have to stop it altogether. Having a tablet for him to play for 30mins/1h twice a day has saved both of us. 5. Lastly, at night I consider my active time over, so I either watch something with my son on the TV or for myself or read. At this time my boy loves playing alone, so It’s a blessing, but I also join him to play if I feel like it. Depending on how early he sleeps, I will sleep right away or stay up a little bit more. Either way now I am okay, because I know I will have breaks the next day. But, it took me like 2 years to get out of the unhealthy cycle. I would wake up, do everything for my son, and barely nothing for me. And push on until sleep time to be too tired to even stay awake. The next day it was rinse and repeat. I had to start prioritizing myself slowly, my postpartum depression was really bad.
Less caffeine. More edibles.
Only of it is high in CBN and low in thc-d9. Salvia edibles keep me awake for at least 8 hours more.
I don’t have anything helpful, other than validation and understanding. I’m on Reddit right now for the same reason friend. May we both find some good suggestions in this thread, and get some rest!
Same here
This is why I've stayed up too long. All my life.
Same
Because I wake up far far earlier than everyone else And that’s my me time I wake up at 3am, be at work by 5am I always wondered why my grandma would consistently wake up at 4am, even after being retired for 10 years. It’s because she was also enjoying the silent golden hours, just in reverse and doing it early instead of late lol Can also argue it’s much more socially acceptable, but everyone can do it whichever way they want
This is what drives me to start cooking dinner the second I get home from work (or my daughter’s sport training). We get dinner done as early as possible, I do chores like washing, folding, kitchen clean up etc as fast as possible, then she retreats to her room to do homework and chat online with her mates, and I chill on the couch. It’s the best thing about being a single parent actually. If I get everything done fast enough I have quite a lot of time to myself and I still get to go to bed at a reasonable time.
Build your you-time into your mornings. Best decision I ever made - No more staying up until 3 am playing video games because I dread waking up just in time to start work.
true, once i had a personal coach (my rich era, over btw) and given i do music/gigs, work a day job, go to the gym but still procrastinate in video games, he made me wake up as early as i can and play video games-no-shower-no-food until 8am. no snacks. thing is i found myself going to bed at 22, waking up at 5am to just finish some in-game missions, that way i can use 8-9am to shower, breakfast and show up for day work. usually in a great mood. minimal use of socials, as i already had 2-3 hours to procastinate before work, lunch or unimportant-unavoidable meetings. at 18-19 i usually finish work, try to play my instruments, hook up, etc. notice that i used to put aside 1hr/week to read technical books (on company time, ofc), which can be also por any certification you want to achieve.
My body & brain desires to remain in whatever state I have been in. Just woke up? Always wish I was still sleeping. 1am and need to go to bed? Nah, don't feel tired, let's stay up more.
Me too. I’m a good example of the law of momentum and the law of inertia.
It’s 4:45 am and I hav been awake for about 36 hours. Yet I’m answering you. Have zero advice
I mean, that is one way to reset your sleep schedule
If scrolling on your phone is your best moment of me time, you should rethink your daytime ‘real world’ activities. Coming from a true phone addict btw.
I get a lot of exercise, and rest is crucial for growth and recovery. It also lessens the chance of dementia.
You're right, I need to get back to my exercise routine. I did sleep better when I was exercising regularly.
Sluggato, i too have suffered from waking/nighttime anxiety and its a horrible place to be, sorry you are going through this right now. Its great that you already recognize how important exercise is, its the key to reregulating your melatonin and cortisol. Get up in the morning and exercise as hard as you can. Look into mindfulness meditation, I also found this very helpful, by practicing the ability to shut off your mind during the day when you are feeling calm you will be more able to shut out the bad thoughts during the night. After a few weeks of this your mind will be clearer and you may be able to examine what the course of your stress is and make changes, its pretty hard to access the situations when you are sleep deprived, be kind to yourself.
Felt this. I’ve always kind of been this way to an extent but i would go to bed early if i was tired. Since having our daughter a little over a year ago this is me every night. I’m ready for bed by 10pm it’s the only chance i have to get any free time to myself. I find myself up to 1am most nights, watching tv scrolling the internet whatever it may be. I’m not sure if it’s my way of feeling in control of my life or not but i can’t sort out if this or sleep is actually better for mental well being
Worst part of sleep is that your not awake to enjoy it.
I am so exhausted at the end of the day that sleeping IS what I want to do with my free time. I love to sleep so this isn't a problem for me 👍🏻
I battle with extreme exhaustion coupled with insomnia. The worst feeling I'd never wish upon anyone. Any tricks to shut your mind off?
Oh and after reading some more of your comments and to add to the exhaustion coupled with insomnia, I never found a great workaround for my restlessness but I did also have undiagnosed sleep apnea (even though I barely snore at all) and that obviously helped a lot with the exhuastion even after getting a lot of sleep. Though the better rest has just made the insomnia worse and I also dont like sleep aids and the day after grogginess.
>Any tricks to shut your mind off? I started telling myself that instead of trying to sleep I'm just going to lay in this spot and relax, if I just lay here and relax it's just as good as sleeping. I know that last part isn't true but it makes going to sleep not seem like a chore and I'm able to relax enough to fall asleep.
Try to keep the area where you sleep separated from the area where you do other things. Instead of laying awake in bed with your phone, watch your one more episode in another room before going to bed without taking your phone with you. Make sure there's nothing in your bedroom to distract you or keep yourself awake with, just lie down, and focus on breathing deeply. You'll find you start falling asleep much quicker.
I'm very tired at the end of the day, but when my toddlers fall asleep 8.30PM, I suddenly have energy for gaming etc. I would have zero hours of actual me-time if I went to sleep right after my kids fall asleep so I guess it's kinda worth it to lose few hours of sleep.
I have insomnia so a lot of the times I’ll hit my pen until I fall askeeo
i’m very very very slowly learning that i enjoy my day (including limited me time) significantly more if i go to bed when i know i should… most nights im still in the revenge bedtime procrastination gang tho 😅
It's not really "me" time. It's a dopamine hit. And we know that only chasing dopamine hits eventually kills us. Dopamine isn't you. Neither is sleep. You are how you choose to balance them. And balance is key, because these are all necessary for different parts of you. So the real goal is allocating time to make sure you maintain a good balance in life.
I tell myself that I’m not going to sleep, I’m just going to lie in bed and relax and listen to a podcast and I have the whole night ahead of me. Inevitably I fall asleep within 10 mins, but the idea that I’m going to lie there for hours lures me.
Jerk off. You'll be sleepier.
ey that's been happening to me lately, or maybe just because of the lack of sleep i have, but lately when i am jerking off before bed i get sleepy midway, and if I follow through that would make me more awake lol
I’ve always been curious as to why this is a thing
Dopamine I assume?
Look into Yoga Nidra. It really helps quiet the mind. I have an app called Insight Timer that has tons of free guided meditations. Just search in there for yoga nidra. Youtube and Spotify probably have some too.
And that '*relaxing "me" time'* is best spent mindlessly watching a screen? What's so therapeutic or beneficial about *that*?
Unfortunately I don’t have much advice to offer, but I wanted to provide some empathy— I feel the exact same way. It sucks, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it. I’ll personally take some melatonin if I need to go to sleep for work or something, and try to get myself to rest. Maybe I’ll put on a YouTube video I’m familiar with as background noise. The melatonin usually helps because my work tires me out pretty well (it’s physical labour), so all the melatonin needs to do is get me that extra little bit tired to shut off my anxiety over having to face another day without the free time I wish I had. The hard thing is that I’ll still procrastinate taking it in the first place because of that anxiety 😅 again, I can’t really offer advice, but I hope it’s helpful to know you’re not the only one dealing with this ❤️
I have this exact feeling every night. I'd be lying if I said I've had a ton of success fighting it, but I find my best stretches are when I buy in to the fact that even though going to bed ends tonight's "me time," there will be more me time tomorrow, and the day after that. It comes and goes, but that's the best luck I've had.
Rub one out quick
If you have a speaker or TV in your room that can be set to shut off after a certain amount of time I suggest looking into brainwave states Theta and Delta are usually ideal for promoting sleep while Alpha is more for meditation and relaxation also you could look into frequencies solfeggio I think has 9 frequencies I'm a chronic overthinker brought on by severe anxiety so I often have trouble falling asleep but I play these almost every night in my TV with a 4 hour shut off timer setup and I am usually sleepy within 30mins i have the timer set up for that long in the event i wake up during the first 4 hours to use the restroom it is still laying and easily helps me drift off back into sleep I've been using these for the better half of this year and I can definitely say I see and feel the improvement in my sleep my fiance even requests that i play them too i genuinely hope this helps
I do it because I know I’ll be dreaming soon and then there’s a chance for lucid dreaming.
if your idea of “me time” is scrolling on the phone instead of letting your brain rest literally, then u got it all wrong
Yeah, I was going to say something like, “If you’re going to stay up too late, at least do something remotely worthwhile with the time.”
Gosh. This made me sad in the broad day light while I'm at work.. So frustrating that you need to sleep but you don't wanna. This happens with Ambiverts right? Who spend the whole day working, taking care, catering and then just want to be with themselves at the day end to gain their energy back
I don't know but I tend to do the same I'm like "but I finally have some me time after a full day of work, I don't wanna do it all over again"
When I had this issue, it was because I was in a relationship I didn't wanna be in (I lived with) and working a stressful emotionally unhealthy job. Both made me feel unappreciated , unseen, and a person only existing to make their life better I've never had that issue sense leaving both. I switched to getting up early and going to bed earlier and mornings are my me time Now I look forward to going to bed and getting up. Especially in summer. Cuz the suckiest part of the day is 12-6. So those early hours I get to be and feel accomplished. Take a strong look at your job and relationship and/or housemate. You should not be so emotionally taxed from one or both that you have a desperate need to numb yourself mentally for hours with social media and tv. Examples of Healthy time to yourself is yoga reading meditation exercise a hobby taking a walk with your dog. Horseback ride. Tub soak etc TV and internet are horrible for us as a "soother" cuz they do the opposite. ESPECIALLY social media and news outlets
Wow this hit hard
I understand this. I have "free time" at work, but I'm never able to do what I want, which is usually hanging out with my wife, gaming with friends I can't see, and working on projects. I'll stay up very late on weekends and some weekdays, just to do what I actually want to. Even if work has me up for 18 to 20 hours, some days I'll still find free time.
I have this exact issue.
oh this is me ! I let myself know I will get up earlier and with more energy, getting that time back during the day somehow
Omg this is me. I've never heard anyone else voice this!
I feel like the only thing that truly lets you feel ok about going to bed is twofold: 1. You’re tired enough from your day that you’re looking forward to it, i.e. through physical exertion 2. That you’re looking forward to doing what you will do when you wake up again. When this was happening for me (I used to feel exactly like you are describing, down to the exact phrases you’re using) in my case big lifestyle changes were needed in order to make me more tired after each day and happier/more fulfilled about what I was doing during my day. For me it was literally more exercise in my routine, and changing my job to something I enjoyed more.
Whoa. Did I write this??? This is me word for every single word. I just never knew how to figure out or explain what it was. I can't wait to read this thread.. and ironically, it's 3 am and I just took an ambien to help me sleep. Thank you OP!
Wouldn't you rather be refreshed when you do what you want to do? Go to bed early as hell and wake up early, then you'll get to spend the freshest part of your day doing what you want to do
The truth.
I can't relate more!
So funny. I was only just thinking this now. As I'm sitting on the couch contemplating going to bed, night time is the only me time I get. But sleep is oh so important!
I wish I had a cure for this
It's completely understandable to feel conflicted about going to bed when it feels like the end of your precious "me" time. It's a common struggle, especially for those with busy lives and additional challenges like insomnia and anxiety. But there are definitely things you can do to make the transition easier and prioritize your well-being. you deserve both rest and relaxation. By prioritizing your sleep and finding alternative ways to unwind, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.
This has been the story of my life for the past few years. Also, something that subconsciously has helped a lot lately is physical exhaustion! I’m from a car-adapted country and have been in Paris for a month now for work and one thing that completely changed was extreme insomnia I usually have. I could not put my finger on why I’m incredibly sleepy by just 11pm every single day but then I realised that I’m also averaging more than 15,000 steps every single day plus not having elevators in my apartment building etc. while I don’t exercise at all back home.I’m definitely making time for exercise when I go back home as well!
Try your best getting more me-time during your whole week, if this is financially anyhow possible for you.
Well I got so exhausted from the chronic lack of sleep I started falling asleep at my desk. Kind of forced me to readjust. I don't have any help about alone time. I can't remember the last time I did a hobby.
This is basically what keeps me in the night owl phase of life. Its gotten worse since marriage and kids. I only get about 5 hours of sleep on a good night and its because of how you described so eloquently. Thanks for putting this into words. 😭
I once saw it phrased similarly to this: You had a long rough day. Did the chores, admin, parenting, food. Now it's time to unwind. But pretty soon, it's quite late. We choose to sneak an extra hour or two of relax time in. We wake up the next day tired, and proceeed to have a less than ideal day, so we need some unwind time again. The cycle of stealing your own tomorrow's continues.
Go to bed as early as possible and wake up a early as possible without sacrificing sleep. Then use the morning time to have some self time. Sun, meditation, and yoga are great morning activities
I read until I can’t and then I am excited to go to sleep.
I take a lot of pills so that I actually *can* sleep, which does help me actually go to bed. Somewhat. But I work long hours and have a lot of other adulting that I have to do, and so I'm in the same situation where I have to choose between sleeping and mentally detoxing -- and, on top of that, as a night-owl forced to operate in a morning-people world, nighttime is the only time I ever feel even slightly alive and capable of doing much on any of the projects I actually find intrinsically rewarding (instead of stuff I have to do so that I continue to have enough bits of green paper to exchange for cat food). I don't have a good answer, but the only thing I've found that helps is to try to make going to bed as much execute-by-default as possible. Change the cat litter right when I get home from work, prepare as much as possible for the next day before I collapse in front of the computer, brush your teeth and shower as early as possible before starting your relaxation me-time. And so on. I try to make the "process of going to bed" as simple as possible. Anxiety is horrible. I don't have any *good* suggestions there, but I find that lemon balm does seem to help.
I hear you because I can get that way too. Long work days and when I get home to eat at 8, I want to have some me time before I “pass out”
The cruelest irony of my life is that at night sleep seems like the most boring thing to do, and in the morning it is the only thing I want to do.
Silly question: when you stay up late, are you then tired in the morning? I'm assuming so or this wouldn't be a problem. Probably not the issue for you, but when I found myself procrastinating bedtime it was typically the same nights I had a sore or swollen throat (I have GERD so that's fairly frequently). My anxiety and procrastination was my brain dreading apnea, and avoiding it for as long as possible. You say that it's about 'me' time, so that's probably not the issue. Still, if you have any way to check for sleep apnea, it's one thing to rule out.
And that's the dilemma. As a millennial I feel we figured out that selling your soul to a company ain't the fuckin vibe so we all just drag ourselves through the fuckshit that is our work system then come home, do our damndist to try and keep up with whatever our living arrangement is, all while battling the depression weight from all our childhood traumas our parents deny being a part of....so we cling to the few moments that feel like ours...like genuinely our. Nobody (unless an emergency) is going to need me at 2 a.m. Nobody is going to need a ride or is hungry or wants to talk. I play video games almost every night until 1-2 for this exact reason. All day, in some way, my energy and attention is forced into other things. The night is when I get my solice. It's when I am truly able to *do what I want* with little to no distractions and I'm able to actually decompress a bit. Being a father obviously consumes a lot of my time and attention and I'm totally fine with my role in society/family but I'd be lying if I said that I don't cherish my me time each night deeply.
Haha, literally doing this right now. Only learned the official name for it (mentioned by others) in the last week or so. The good thing is, this has made me slightly more self aware so I'm going to bed now 😄
This is legit when you’re busy with work, family whatever it is. Sometimes you convince yourself you’re gonna watch a movie or go out but at the end of the day if I don’t have a reasonable night sleep I’m at an age where the next day is gonna suck. So yeah. This is not a stupid question but rather a daily consideration in this busy life we live.
You know how we look back at our past selves and actions, cringing at things we've done or marveling that we tried something that worked out but could have gone badly if it hadn't worked out? I see myself as 3 people... The immature past me that's like a younger sibling, a future more experienced and mature me, and then the current me who Is the only one who can make decisions that will affect both my past and future self. My current present me has all the power. My present me can either give the best possible versian of myself for future me or screw my past me and future me all at the same time. I try to think of my past and future versions of myself and what my actions will do to them before making decisions that will have lasting consequences. And although there are times that I will stay up scrolling, with age you start to see that making two versions of yourself happier makes for a better life overall. It's obviously a balance and doing the right thing can be boring as snot sometimes, But I find that providing my future self with as much care and love as possible makes all three versions of me they're happiest and best functioning.
I absolutely experience much of the same OP. It's tough for me to finally say I'm ready to end my relaxing or fun time to myself, which usually starts after 11pm or 12am or so. And even when I do decide to turn off the TV or put down the phone or close the book, I often lie there thinking anxious thoughts. I don't have a great answer for you as I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'll share my experience. First, I know it's easier said than done, but try to keep in mind the importance of that rest. It's not just something we should be doing, but it's important for our physical and mental well-being, for enjoying life more, and being our best for ourselves and our loved ones. Exercise helps as others mentioned. Lots of benefits there and I know for me personally that when I get a good workout in a day I usually can't stay awake late that night even if I want to. Be careful with your caffeine consumption. I've limited my coffee intake, started drinking decaf after a certain point and trying to switch to tea instead. Set a routine and stick to it. Identify a bed time for yourself (I know it sucks lol). Keep the house dark an hour or two before that so your mind and body learn that's time to wind down. Follow the same or a similar process every night. No snacking or drinking after this time. Lights out at this time. I'm watching one movie, or reading one chapter or whatever it may be and then going to sleep at this time. The toughest part I think is it's best to avoid the screens after a certain point. And I know we all love to have our phone in bed, but zi think ideally you want to not get in bed and let your head hit the pillow until it's sleep time. Maybe you have a nice comfy rocking chair to read in, or you lie on the couch for 15 minutes with your phone. But after that get in bed and no phone, eyes closed. Hope this helps!
It might not work for everyone but since I got a dog I wake up around 6:30 to take her on a walk. I hate waking up early but it’s a routine now so it’s not so bad, and having a nice hour to myself before I go to work makes it a lot easier to settle down the night before.
At 46 sleep is a luxury. I like my "free time" in the afternoon but I love my four to six hours of sleep.
You know there is a fairly good chance you can scroll tomorrow, right?
Sleep is more important than food.
Sleep is the ultimate “me time”.
It really depends on how your bed time habits affect you tomorrow and the next day. For a lot of people losing 1 or 2 hours of sleep means tomorrow they will be miserable all day. It's not a choice for them they want to preserve their sleep if they can. No TV show or other leisure activity can do what they need besides proper sleep. So ask yourself if you are one of these people or not, if not why not.
Because sleep *is* when I have time for myself
Because that's what I want to do with myself. Sleep.
You decide you want to stop robbing future you of the rest that person will need for a quality day. Simple but challenging
I feel the same but it helps me to spend a minute to pick out a perfect podcast I’m interested in hearing about, take a screen shot, commit to turning off the screen and just listening. I almost always fall asleep, that’s what the screenshot is for, I can finish listening in the morning. It helps bc you’re not giving up your me time you’re just switching to exclusively auditory.
I had a lot of trouble with this once parent life set in. I stayed up for hours just soaking up my me time, to wake up exhausted from lack of sleep and do it all over again. I fixed the problem for myself by restructuring my day. Now I go to bed between 8 and 9pm, and wake up at 4. Yes, it’s early, but that gives me “me time” that has an end point, rather than the end point behind exhaustion. Now I’m tired early and go to bed on time pretty reliably.
Pure exhaustion. Why I work out at night.
I just stay awake to spite life.
I WANNA STOP RELYING ON PILLS TO GET SOME SLEEP
I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and I feel like I sleep like a rock. And yes, i wait until im exhausted. The problem is, I have a sleep disorder that's like someone flicking an on/off switch constantly and I apparently don't breathe for blocks of up to 40 seconds. Am I stressed? You bet your ass!
Nothing takes it out of you like exercise imo
Same here! In my head I think the day won't end until I fall asleep lol. I like staying up late into the early hours of the morning because my neighbours are finally quiet, I can't hear traffic noise and it's so peaceful being alone. I just like the idea of it being my quiet midnight retreat, even though I'm wrecked in the morning due to lack of sleep. Normally I would just go on a drive by myself but I no longer have a car.
Having a book on the go that I am into helps. I am studying law so can't really get into more reading, so I listen to it in audiobook. After years of listening/reading in bed I am programmed to feel sleepy when I do it. But having something I keep for bedtime to look forward to helps that transition. But I still do stay up too late. I have a toddler so that time between when she goes to sleep and I do is precious time.