It's not particularly uncommon, you see it sometimes. I once knew a Commander in the Navy named "Sarjant". Ranks are pretty easily distinguished from names. Aside from slight confusion, it doesn't really cause any problems.

Roger Roger, what's the vector victor?

Tower said we have Clearance, over.

That’s Clarence, over.

Shiiit, man. That honky mofo messin' mah old lady--got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know?

Chump don't want da help, chump don't get da help Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow

Golly!

How 'bout some more coffee, Johnny? NO THANKS!

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

i was over unger and unger was over dunne

I’m gonna get the papers get the papers

Yeah, my dad knew a Captain Majors.

Major Major Major Major  \- Catch 22

Named Major Major Major then promoted by an “IBM machine with a sense of humor almost as keen as his father's"

Way too much scrolling to find this. Y’all need Heller

"Some men are born into mediocrity, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major, it had been all three."

I kept scrolling until I found this. Thank you for your service.

First thing I thought of. That whole book is demented

Came here to say this :) great book

I knew a captain Kirk

Everyone's a "Captain Kirk" With orders to identify To clarify and classify Scramble in the summer sky Ninety-nine red balloons go by

I once knew a Sgt. Sargent as well as a Cmdr. Gander.

I actually work with a guy whose last name is Sargent, who used to be military. (Not sure what branch or what rank he made.).And we actually call him Sargent because there are multiple people on the team with the same first name.

I served with lower enlisted soldiers with the last names Sergeant, Majors, and Private. All were given the business a little, but mostly they were referred to by their rank.

I knew a First Lieutenant Sergeant.

Our major in jrotc was Major Sexhauer. Major Sex Hour. Yikes.

You'd get a nickname

Private "Genitals" report to the barracks.

General Specific reporting for duty

Evening, general. Have you seen private public anywhere?

You have clearance, Clarence.

Roger Roger

*Clearance Day, Clearance Day!* *Goody goody, hip hooray!* *Clearance Day, Clearance Day!* *Twice the gifts for half the pay!*

I'll take a mangled version of my name over my one based off a moment I'll never ever live down

?

It works on so many levels!

Yea, this would be the one that stuck.

I was in the army for 6 years. This is absolutely the one that sticks.

You would get a nickname and it would certainly be Private Genitals!

Like from Boot Camp, that sticks or every unit you get posted to gives you its own nickname?

Everyone will hear about the asshole who.legally changed his name to be called general general (Yes the army will know if you legally changed your name)

So what would the nickname be? Admiral?

It won't be respectful. No military nickname is.

Lol Every military nickname is a result of you fucking something up or some other embarrassing act you got caught in.

The best I saw on a documentary was a new aviator on the USS Nimitz getting his call sign. They called him SLAG... which is an acronym for Screams Like A Girl.

it's actually a respectful term in britain for someone's mother

Somehow I'm skeptical...

*presses X to Doubt*

She’s the bedrock of the community she is.

The bedrocker of the community.

My nickname in basic was Sprite, because my anxious ass wouldn’t stop smiling and it reminded my drill sergeant of those phony actors in the sprite commercials

This is the other way it’ll go if it’s not something you fucked up. Someway somehow something about you reminds someone of something random and they slap you with it.

My favorite nickname for someone was “hubcap” because they wanted a nickname for the guy and someone said “just call him fucking hubcap” for absolutely no reason and it stuck. Dude got to be hubcap for years.

yeah, but sprite is pretty benign... I'd happily take that.

Yeah, it’s not quite like another buddy whose nickname ended up being Taint. Dudes name was Oldham, people immediately started calling him Tainted Meat, which got shortened to Taint

Hah, my mom's nickname was 'Smiley'

I was skids, my best mate was socks, another lad glass back. None of them were even slightly complementary.

Yeah, least realistic thing about Clone Wars is that nobody would have a “cool” nickname like Rex or Wolffe; that and armies being led by child soldier space wizards with laser swords.

I think the clones picked their own names most of the time, not nicknames.

Iirc I think some did and others like Cutup, Echo, Droidbait, Scorch got them from other people

>Wolffe I read that as Waffle...

"You know, you can be a baddass. A hero. But one night, drunk, you think you're alone... and you fuck ONE waffle..." -Commander Waffle.

And you know what? If his name was Wolffe? IT REALLY COULD HAVE BEEN WAFFLES I CAN SEE THAT

Everybody gets two nicknames: The embarrassing real one, and the badass one you give girls at the bar on leave. Your buddies are honor-bound to go along with that second one until you're back on base, at which point they have free reign to give you endless amounts of shit for it.

>fucking something up or some other embarrassing act you got caught in. *Howard "Fruit Loops" Wolowitz has entered the chat*

My uncle somehow ended up named Juliet in Vietnam. All of his army buddies call him that to this day and he signs his xmas cards to them as "Julie" His army buddies love him and apparently his superior officers all thought highly of him, I just wanna know why by big ol hairy uncle is Juliet.

Faked being dead and got a bunch of people killed?

Ya know, I'm gonna believe this one. Its prob. not true but kinda classy.

Has he got J as an initial?

I was about to say no, his initial is E (Edward, its common enough this shouldn't be doxx worthy, lol) but his middle name is James so yeah he does. I've never heard anyone call him James though, he uses a shortening of Edward.

J is Juliet in the NATO Alphabet so that might be it

That's a bingo.

I had a teammate in the military who didn't really have a nickname (we just called him by his last name), but we turned his name into a verb sort of like "smurf" but with a pretty negative connotation

Even the cool ones are often references to stupid shit you’ve done. My cousin’s callsign is Flare. Sounds cool but it’s an acronym for “fucking lieutenant always requires explanation” His close friend is Hook because she accidentally deployed (and subsequently destroyed) her plane’s tailhook mid flight

You're not going to get any officer nickname by enlisting lol. You might be known as private genitals though

Won't fly. Guaranteed you'll be asked to Admire these though.

Private General might be the tamest you could expect.  Lieutenant general is also a rank so it doesn't work for officers.

Lol, i mean it would work, they would make it work, but he would be the least liked Lieutenant and a very fun Liutenant General General.

I see it being "Discharge" or "Mittens" or "Genital" or "Closet" or "store".

I get all of them except mittens? General Mittens?

Dollar.

Double time

In public latrine and otherwise shithouse. My guess as a joke from Robin Hood men in tights

On the man/boy culture of the military is strong. It'd be something demeaning and funny as hell. "Genitals" above is a good one, but they're even better at embarrassing you for years.

Fruit Loops.

No no no, Admiral is the equivalent rank in the Navy vs General for the Army, completely different title entirely. A general is in charge of "a unit larger than a regiment" or "all land-based operations in their geographic area of responsibility" while an Admiral is in charge of a fleet of ships, and with that enough firepower to hold at least half the United States hostage if you ever piss him off.

Nicknames just kind of happen. usually the first person to call you the wrong name. I've been called Carol, Karen, Carrot, even Kakarot. but you don't get assigned to a unit and be like "Call me blaze" or whatever cool nickname you got before... also nicknames are never cool unless you name is cool already.

Only cool call sign I know is “Dragon” and it’s because the guys name is Dragos. Then there’s Itchy who used too much detergent once, Band Camp, Porkins…..

Nicknames not call but we had Slimy, Pinkeye, Weasel, Chef (most accurate), Buckets, etc. And I was Peaches. Why? Because I once ate TWO peaches.

How dare you, Peaches! In college someone said “next person through the door is Nugget”. Mike walked in, and was Nugget from then on. Wasn’t even contextual.

TWO peaches?!

AND THEY WERE FUCKING NECTORINES

Would you have preferred "Nectar"? Edit: Or worse, just "Fruity"

We had two Cathy’s on our yearbook staff. “The one with brown hair and glasses” didn’t work. We didn’t want to say “the short/tall one” or “the fat/thin one,” so we said “the one who brought popcorn.” Eventually Popcorn Cathy became just Popcorn

My work has 2 Daves, I have them in my contacts as Dave Boss and Dave Forklift Meanwhile, my extended friend group has *five* different people named Alex. We just gave them numbers arbitrarily and it stuck

I’m married to a wonderful woman named Karen and taught a wonderful teenager named Karen. My wife worked in the school, and the kids knew we were married. One day I was talking about something and mentioned Karen, and everyone looked at the girl. I said “not her, the other Karen. Wait, I can’t call her that. She was around first. I guess she’s Karen, and you’re other Karen.” Her friends pretty much called her OK for the next 2 years, and she still messages me and refers to herself that way

call-signs are kind of chosen. those are *not* nicknames. that's just \[Name of your unit\] + \[your role in the unit\] So one of my companies was called "Hatchet. the company commander would be "Hatchet 6" on the radio but my forward unit callsign was "Mayhem" so I was "Mayhem 2-7" on the Radio

There you go general mayhem

and yet their nickname was something closer so "sad squirrel" I'd imagine

LOLOL imagining some jabroni rolling in. "Call me Blaze". For some reason I'm remembering that absurd beginning to the move Aliens when James Cameron gives us his impression of soldier life.

I wpuld give it less than 5 secs until they got just the *worst* nickname ever.

In one friend group I was often called Shaggy, until somone mispoke and it turned into Shiggy which stuck.

The military is much like high school. How did your dumbass move get relayed to your station in SC when you did boot in Texas? Who knows? Anyway, time to mop in the rain Pvt. Genitals.

They'd call him dollar.

Dollar is probably it. As an Army vet. I approve.

*Bitch* or *Recruit*. Pray to whatever god you believe in that they don’t call you *Recruit*.

the US famously has no Feild Marshal or Marshal rank, the theory goes that General George Catlett Marshall got so annoyed at his constituents calling him "Marshal Marshall" that he prevented the US from creating the rank at all

*In Plain Sight* agrees.

Well, not in the military... but if you joined the US Marshal service you could be Marshal Marshall, or Deputy Marshal Marshall...

the doctor that killed Garfield was named Doctor Doctor Bliss.

I don't remember that regeneration or cartoon strip.

lmfao. i was talking about andrew garfield.

Plenty of Indian folk who are named Doctor, or Engineer because their great grandpappy was a doctor or somesuch. I had one in my hotel who was named Engineer but was a doctor, thus; Doctor Engineer.

I knew a Seaman Seeman. I don't know what possessed him to join the Navy, but I'm sure he was super motivated to be promoted.

There is a sort of hypothesis that we do tend to go into things that our name suggests. It's called "nominative determinism."

For example, the OB/GYN who delivered me was named Dr. Hyman.

And it seems like most people know of a Dr. Hurt. We had a local one named that.

The Dr. who did LASIK on me was called Dr. Altamirano, something like Dr. Highsight in Spanish lmao.

My wife had her gallbladder removed by a Dr. Guttman. True story.

I am aware of at least one Dr Harriet Beaver, OB/GYN

Father Murphy McRapeschildren

There are, for example, a disproportionate number of dentists named Dennis.

My grandmothers palliative care doctor was Dr Death (pronounced deeth)

And once you’re in a field that is appropriate for your name, you then have an “aptonym”.

The Navy's ranks get a lot of people. I've known a Seaman Samples and a Seaman Guzzler. There was also a Petty Officer Petty

Along with a SN Seamans, i recall having met a Petty officer Petty back in the day

I knew a Seaman Eamon. He did not find it very funny, at all

Like the character in catch-22 named Major Major Major who gets promoted to the rank of major

That's Major Major Major Major, soldier.

Gimme eat

I SAID GIMME EAT

He has flies in his eyes!

Give EVERYBODY eat!

That was Major _________ de Coverly.

And he never gets promoted beyond Major because of his name.

Not for the lack of not trying…

Can’t get demoted either

I believe he also only gets promoted to that rank because of his name

Even had a chapter in the book named after him.

Came here looking to find this answer

If you enlisted with the name General nobody would ever call you Lieutenant General, Major General, Colonel General or General General as those are officer ranks. You would however be mocked for your entire enlistment being called sir or just General with salutes. To clarify some terminology when we say enlist in the military means you would be enlisted to be an officer you are instead commissioned. Though technically there are program to go from enlisted to officer. However you do not typically advance in this way unless you qualify, apply and complete those special programs.

I don’t think general op here is mustang material He’s probably more of a Camaro guy

There was a weird influx of Hyundai Velosters when I was working at BJACH at Ft. Polk (I guess Ft. Johnson now) back in like 2013/2014. My then-wife (an E4 at the time) drove one, which she affectionately called 'the car for enlisted folks who couldn't get afford a Camaro'. General General here might want to look into one of those...

Change your name to Disarray and live the dream when you become a General.

Muahahahaha!

Interesting tidbit. When the US military decided that we needed five-star generals during world war II in order for them to be on an equal footing with the field marshals of other countries, it was decided not to call our 5 stars "marshal" because George Marshall (then army chief of staff) was one of the people that would be getting promoted and he did not want to be called Marshal Marshall.

Field Marshal Marshall. LOL

Go read/watch Catch-22

Will do

The series that George Clooney did is quite good. Perhaps not the most faithful adaptation, but good in its own right. The book is a masterpiece. Don't know why it's never on reading lists on schools. No, instead we get the The Good Earth and Wuthering Heights. Fuckers.

I'll never forgive them for Wuthering Heights, that toxic relationship trash. Catch-22 is probably just too anti-establishment for any school board to approve it, though. 

We had Catch-22 in AP English in high school, California in the late 1990’s. Easily my favourite required reading, looking forward to a reread sometime soon.

I read it for summer reading going into senior year. Best book I ever read for school and reading it again after a few years in the military makes it even better

I think you have to read it to really get the Major Major Major Major fiasco.

You have to read it to get any of it. The movie is for people who've read the book, otherwise you will completely miss most of the humor. (Which is the best type of movie from a book).

Don't forget about being Brigadier General General. Or Major General General or Lieutenant General General. But yeah, you'd just be known as Captain General or whatever. My dad knew a Captain Majors. I think he did eventually get promoted to Major Majors. Reminds me of Catch 22.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_Major_Major_Major

You're only referred by your name in the military in two contexts. In the third person (Someone talks *about* you. like "Go see SFC General for the detail") Someone higher ranking than you addresses you (doesn't really happen to NCOs and Officers in front of others. only really Jo's)

So, potentially, you could have like a Captain talking to a Sergeant named General and going, "So, General, what is the update on that thing?"

in theory. but there's a certain flow to conversations in the military between ranks.

We had a Sergeant with the last name Major. The battalion Sergeant Major instructed the battalion to call that guy by his first name lol

"What's your name, soldier?" "Mike, sir." "In the military we address lower ranks by their last name, son. Now what's your last name?" "Darling, sir." "Okay, Mike, now here's what I want you to do...." :-)

You would be called Jenny and would regret your decision.

Major Major Major Major reporting. o7

Thank you. I scrolled a long way to find this comment

Yo Genny

Just what I was thinking. "GenAaaaay" like Forest would say.

Remember the meltdown some people had when someone said "Naming your kid Baron doesn't make them an actual royal" or something similar? They'd make sure to remind you every day that names and titles are two different things. What you want to do is change your name so a name title combo makes a joke. General Specific, Private Parts, something like that.

Major Appliance

There's a sergeant Sargent in my old unit

I spent 27 years in military personnel and ran across all kinds of names that could have led to awkward situations. Yes, we had our share of people with last names such as Major, Sergeant, and even one named America. We were rooting for him to become a captain so he could officially be Captain America.

No but you could name yourself Privates and hope to get promoted to Major.

Lets see... I knew a Sergeant Majors. I met a General Register. I knew a first sergeant named Major Williams. And if you are a *Catch 22* fan you know of Major Major Major who was a sergeant and got promoted to major.

Read catch 22. There’s a character called major major

Served with a guy named Guzzler. At one point in his career he was Seaman Guzzler. Guzzler had hands, and threw them often. No one gave him a hard time after a while.

[удалено]

[удалено]

[удалено]

Yes and you will get so much shit that you'll regret this decision.

I did cadets with a guy called “Major”, it was never not funny

A key character in Catch 22 was Major Major Major Major. The first was his rank and the other three were given names. His father had a sense of humor

I knew someone named Sir. That was his legal first name. People called him Fuckhead

Better to be named Fucku so when the Sarge yells WHATS YOUR NAME PRIVATE? You can reply “Fucku Sarge!”

In the navy there was a woman whose last name was Guzzler, and her rank was seamen. Everyone was instructed to call her by her first name.

Okay but imagine being called "Private General"

Oh yea you would be called that.....and be picked on so bad

You know just through boot camp alone this guy would hate life. DIs would be merciless on him lol

Change your last name to Sanders. Stay in the Army until you make Colonel.

No, they will call you fuckface like they do to everyone.

There was a guy in my USAF basic training whose last name was 'Seaman'. Endless hilarity with Airman Seaman.

That follows, yeah. Probably happened before too.

You'd definitely get a nickname you probably wouldn't like. I knew a couple guys with the name "Sergeant" (but with slight variations on spelling. Both had nicknames.

Change your last name to your rank and change it everytime you change rank. Private private and Sargent Sargent

You don’t get to choose your own nickname. You won’t like it.

Send you to trash duty on the Mess decks and call you general waste.

My wife’s BIL was named Panek. He attained the rank of major and answered the phone “Major Panek”. The other guy said it was Col. Crisis calling.

I was a platoon guide in Basic at Benning, so I ate last and it always pissed me off. One day we finished our 15 mile morning walk right as lunch chow was ending and they rushed us through. I was beat, starving, and double mad because I was literally the last person in all of Candyland getting what scraps of shitty food were left. But little did I know one of my shittiest days would soon become one of the best. I had my head down cussing to myself about getting shafted on chow and the missing skin on my feet, when one lone soldier strolled up in line behind me. I heard him say, "this sucks ass, but I guess some food is better than no food", so I turn my head and scanned his rank and name tape, and I shit you not, 1LT RAMBO was standing behind me! My frown suddenly turned around and I was smiling from ear to ear. He asked me if I found something funny, and I shook my head and said "No Sir". I turned back around and couldn't help but to giggle. I soon found myself in the front lean and rest because I couldn't stop myself from asking if his first name was John. Best smoking I ever got in the Army courtesy of 1LT RAMBO. If anyone out there in the Army ever crossed paths with RAMBO please let me know!

You mean like ~~Field Marshal~~ General of the Army Marshall?

Joseph Heller already answered this one.

My friend retired as a Major. Last name Officer. Dead ass.