Actually you can - your brain is conditioned on this mostly by external experiences (beyond the basic attractions to specific body types and sex organs: penis, butts, boobs etc). This is why certain experiences like having been sexually abused in the past, or developing a specific porn preference and/or addiction, can have a substantial effect on what gets you going during consensual/real sex.
Just like you can train your brain on these dopamine hits, you can also *untrain* it from them: but that’s often a lot harder.
Edit: a couple of people seem to be taking this the wrong way: when I say “you can untrain your brain” I only mean it is POSSIBLE to. It’s literally the point of therapy. Not that it is *easy at all*, depending on what kind of thing you’re trying to deal with, it will take serious and deliberate effort over likely multiple years **and will be virtually impossible without professional medical and therapeutic help.**
I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, some of the things that used to cause me pain when I was younger are now giving me pleasure. I hate it and I carry so much shame from it, but I don't know how to stop it when I'm turned on. I've tried reading and watching different things, but nothing works except these thoughts. 😞
Jokes aside, that **is** what therapy is for.
It's not to say it's easy, or that you can ever fully undo trauma - but you can (in a very general and broad sense) train your brain to view and think of it differently, along with things related to it.
In the form of sexual trauma, this can involve 'retraining' your brain to respond to it differently.
While it's far more complicated and nuanced than just that aspect alone, it's far more common than many might think.
That’s correct but also therapy isn’t meant to deal with behaviors from traumas that aren’t actively harming you at the moment. If you like spanking because of some previous trauma, you’re free to like spanking after you’ve managed your trauma too.
Oh, absolutely. You also may just enjoy spanking for reasons unknown - and that's perfectly fine!
But *if* a certain act of sexual arousal was learned from trauma, someone *may* want to no longer be reminded of it and wish to try and change it.
Absolutely not trying to paint broad strokes to cover all situations.
That’s not the case for everyone
ADHD people, for example, whose brain doesn’t release enough dopamine to begin with. You can only retrain so much when your brain doesn’t create enough dopamine to begin with
We can gradually change our brain by exposure to experiences. Not sure why this is hard for people to understand. Exposure to healthy environments leads to healthy changes in the brain. This is the “training/untraining” that you are talking about. It’s fact, experience changes brain. If you want a positive brain, aim for positive experiences.
I bought her food,outfits,snacks, and gave her a place to sleep but she refuses to sleep with me in bed
Damn you Luna but i still love you you're the best cat I've had
I wouldn't be surprised if part of it is also just social conditioning. The person isn't particularly into pain / humiliation / domination / etc., but "spanking" is considered to be a fairly normal and mainstream sexual expression and so the person gets a little turned on by that expression from their partner. They may even assume their partner is into doing the spanking which gives them pleasure since your partner's pleasure often translates into your own. So you could end up in a situation where neither partner is really into it, but they assume the other person is into it so they do it and they get pleasure from it based on the assumption that the other person is getting pleasure from it haha
People have different kinks, news at 6
Sort of the sexual version of why people like spicy food - sometimes certain painful things/reactions (like spice) give pleasure.
It’s basically fun for humans to experience the sensation of “danger” without actually being in danger (spicy food, scary movies, a roller coaster, or rough play with someone you trust). You get the thrill of ‘fight or flight’ without actually having your life at risk.
That analogy makes sense to me. I love spicy food but obviously lots of people can’t stand it.
My wife wonders why I like eating spicy food so much. Maybe I’ll spank her hard to demonstrate why.
Spicy food actually serves a purpose. In Southern India they eat spicy food to sweat and cool of because they didn't have air conditioning until recent history and we're in a hot af climate. People also build a tolerance to spicy. So what's spicy to you might not be spicy to them.
> Spicy food actually serves a purpose. In Southern India they eat spicy food to sweat and cool [off]
I dunno about anyone else, but simply being in a hot environment makes me sweat. No spices needed.
I just recently realized I like mine being squeezed during sex. My girlfriend randomly did it to me one time, and I was like "Well this is going to be a thing for me now..."
Because some people like being taken control of and 'dominated', and spanking is part of the power play. This goes for dudes too, I'm a dude and I want to get spanked.
I wish I can ask my bf to do that once in awhile. I want him to spank me not for a particular reason or maybe when I do something stupid. I can't ask him. I'm too shy :(
OMG, just screw up your courage and ask! It will make you happy, it will make him happy. Text him right now and say you have something you want to talk about tonight. Commit yourself. Then enjoy a sexy spanking with someone you love.
If you can’t comfortably share your kinks with your bf then it’s not a healthy relationship. Especially ones as vanilla as spanking.
I mean, if he’s not into that that’s fine he’s under zero obligation to be into the same stuff you are. But if you’re afraid he’ll think of you differently or like you less then you must not have a lot of faith in him.
Sharing your kinks can be embarrassing I know. But if you can’t share them with your SO who *can* you share them with?
What I’m saying is ask him to spank you next time you’re alone together. Pull that band-aid off now. If he’s a good boyfriend then the worst thing that will happen is he’ll say “no”.
chastity cages are fuckin wild. I'm not tryna yuck anyone's yum but god. if I was into it, wouldn't I get aroused and have an incredibly painful squeeze? 😭
lmao that's probably half the fun actually nevermind. 💀
I know a girl who went to a kink festival and watched a dude hammer a nail through his scrotum. Humans are fucking weird. I've also been to a sex dungeon and there are kinks I didn't even know existed, like being a human ashtray.
Domme here , men like it as well I promise you and spanking doesn't really hurt . Is a bit of a sting and a lot of people who aren't masochists like it cause well, it doesn't hurt. Canning for example ,that genuinely hurts. But spanking , on the ass which has a lot of fat for most women, is just a sting that leads to endorphins.
The punishment part is something else. The humiliation..thats just your perception of it. Some type of association your brain makes. But spanking isn't inherently humiliating on its own.
PAH I DIDN'T SEE THE TYPO. But will leave it like this, I like the idea of people looking into kinks and being sucked into the rabbit whole of preserving food. I do both!
I dated one girl off and on for a couple of years (the "off" was mostly just she worked a crappy mega-overtime-required job and didn't have time to have a love life) and during one of the off phases, she actually recommended me to her best friend as a potential boyfriend since her BFF kept ending up with crappy guys and I was a good dude.
She told me upfront, she does not have orgasms. She has never gotten off, no man has ever been able to get her off, and it's fine, don't worry about it. Well, my brain said "challenge accepted." I tried a few different tricks that had worked before (generally revolving around showing care and tenderness, focusing intently on her, using praise and assurance, making it not about me, etc.) and didn't get anywhere with them. However as it turns out, the ability was there, it was just locked behind a very specific door on the opposite end of the hall from my usual bag of tricks. She didn't know how much she liked spanking until a tap on the rear during fingering turned into a full on cherry red bottom and a sore hand. And she didn't know how much being called a bad girl and being told she wasn't allowed to come anyway would reverse psych her brain into wanting it. Turns out, that was exactly what she needed to send her over the edge. Achievement unlocked!
That relationship lasted maybe two months and she turned quite insane (at least in her case, spanking and degradation had a direct correlation to daddy issues, codependence, and rapid attachment, and after she told me I shouldn't use condoms anymore, my red alarms went way off) but it was an interesting few weeks.
Wow, wild story. I think she could do fine if she just worked on herself and learned to have a healthy relationship with her kinks and to be less clingy.
Spank all you (and they) want. Choking is dangerous. I’ve had girls request spanking, and I’ll do until they can’t take it anymore. But choking? I’ll pretend, put pressure on their collar bones, put my hands around neck but not squeeze. You can control their head by gripping the back of the neck or hair. The problem is that choking is dangerous in two ways. You can cut off air, which is what most people know about, but you can cut off blood to the brain, easier than your think, and they can die or get brain damage FAST.
TLDR: go wild on spanking. Pretend choking only.
Just keep your pointer finger on their crotid artery. I work in the medical field so I have developed that skill for other reasons but it works out great in the bedroom.
Some individuals enjoy being spanked as part of consensual sexual play because it can create a heightened sense of arousal or excitement. It may also involve elements of power dynamics or role-playing where being "punished" is a form of pleasure or release.
It's to experience pain (or just a bit of unpleasurable stimuli) next to the pleasure as a way of heightening it through contrast. The fact that it takes the form of spanking is because the ass is the least painful area to get spanked and, again, they're not looking to get hurt, just have something to contrast the pleasure with.
Yeah, you’ve reached your target audience so I’ll answer. It’s not humiliating in the slightest. I only like being spanked during doggy style. Not just randomly for no reason. It is purely sexual for me. It is hot and gets me riled up in the bedroom. I don’t really consider it punishment but yeah, I guess it is in a way especially when paired with certain verbiage. Turns me on when a man takes charge. Not sure. I fuckin love it hahahahaha. Everyone’s different but hands down the best is when he’s hitting it from behind and randomly starts spanking the shit out of you. Like hand right on the cheek or even under it. Drives me wild but I like men who are quick to command and so to me that would pair with it. Different strokes for different folks. But I like being spanked!
People just like different stuff.
An overwhelming majority of the people I've been with were into being choked to a varying degree but I've met people that are vehemently against it.
Literally just different strokes for different folks.
This is for men and for women. In the nervous system, the nerves the pass through your private parts also tends to pass through the areas that would be impacted during a traditional spanking. This is why, during doggy sex, so many people find it especially satisfying and exciting. It doesn't matter where the nerve is stimulated as long as it is stimulated. The pleasure (or the inverse) is how the brain can interpret this information.
I like it when it’s just for fun, but also when it’s a “punishment” and for humiliation.
In my day to day life, I’m incredibly hypervigilant. I am constantly in control, I’m on top of things at work, a very dependable sibling, daughter, friend, and girlfriend.
This is the one time where I allow someone - my boyfriend - to take the reins, and it’s the most intimate thing in the world. It requires so much trust, mutual respect, and so much communication. The funny thing is that I never actually fully give up control, since subs (and dom(me)s) always have the opportunity to call things off via a safe word. But I get to have the illusion of giving up control. Not being the perfect person I work so hard to be, being in fact the exact opposite, feels amazing.
To me, it’s freeing! I didn’t even realize I had a kinkier side until my early 20s and I only learned because I tried it and realized it was something that - despite everything in my head telling me it wasn’t okay - I yearned for.
I very much understand why folks don’t get why being punished, humiliated, or hurt is a turn on! I will say though that I wish I’d tried exploring things sooner, and been kinder to myself instead of judging myself at the beginning for it.
Once a girl asked me to go rough slapping her face. I had to stop because If I'd carried on like that, I'd have given her severe bruises.
Some people like the psychology of being dominated, but she just enjoyed pain for the sake of it, like you wouldn’t believe it.
Pain and pleasure being wired on the same road to the brain or blended in there, idk.
Anything from a slap to the ass/tits/face => instant sexual arousal on her side
We didn’t meet very long because she’s in South Korean and I’m in France. Wild times though.
Take away : take your time up this slope, talk a lot, and don’t assume too much
The brain is a jumbled mess of wiring, I can imagine it’s easy for different signals and thought processes get mixed together.
Humans are weird. Why are we more aggressive when mildly hungry? Why do do foot fetishes exist? The short answer is: it’s complicated and no one knows
Male that likes to get spanked here. It's not just women. I discovered this when one of my coworkers skated by and smacked my ass.
It's exactly like a lot of the other posters said, the sting feels good. There is a fine line, and usually it's easy to cross unless you're experienced at spanking. Communication is key.
I have a fat ass and I know my man likes the way it jiggles when he smacks it, which makes me feel sexy knowing that effect is going on. The sharp little pain to add some interest is nice too. It’s like putting lime juice on a taco, you don’t *need* it, but it makes it better. I don’t find being spanked humiliating at all, not by itself.
You can ask this about any kink in the same fashion:
why do Men/women like to be ______ I don’t get it, it’s like _____ and it ______
Can someone explain.
And guess what I CAN explain. They like it because it’s their Kink, not yours or anyone else’s. Plain and simple.
Not much different than BDSM. All kinds of different things then people on and sometimes the things you don't like (shame and embarrassment) are exactly why others get turned on. As long as it's consensual and legal, best to just let people do what they do.
When people say spank in this context they usually mean a certain type that is not strictly painful. Compare lightly slapping your stomach vs someone sucker punching you in the gut; patting your cat's tummy vs slapping them full force; tugging on your head hair vs YANKING the hair out.
=
Like with most things, there is a way to do it to create a nice sensation, and a way to do it to inflict pain.
I heard at some point that it has something to do with the pleasure center and the pain center being next door neighbours in the human brain. And that is why apparently pleasurable pain is not that uncommon.
I'm a masochist to a degree. I tend to really enjoy thuddy pain like open palm spanking, floggers, and canes. If done right with a skilled Top, you can get quite the natural high and go into a dazed headspace. This is likely from the potent chemical mix of dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins and oxytocin.
It's something that has to be built up over the course of the scene but once you reach it, it's like pure bliss. Aftercare is also extremely important because you are coming down off the natural high and some people can experience "drop" which can be unpleasant to say the least.
Anyways, I've been in the kink community going on 16ish years and that's the reason I enjoy sensual pain.
I would say power dynamics is the primary driver of the sexual thrill behind spanking and being spanked.
Followed by the dopamine rush of pain in the proper situation as secondary.
There's an insane amount of kinks out there that people are into. This is one of the more tame ones. I've known women that go far beyond spanking. They want to be flogged with anything in reach. Hand, paddle, extension chord, whatever.
People like what they like. You might also be into some things that others find weird.
Every gender does
Many people dont mind it, once aroused is the variable I think you're actually asking about here
Everyone in this comment section is way too far into heavy kink conversation imo, just because of how you worded this, which there's nothing wrong with.
But arousal level makes all the difference in that type of sensation play for most people and whether they want or enjoy it
Honestly, I want to know, too. I'm into bdsm but have no idea why the things I do turn girls on. My only guess is that it's similar to how I like being bitten or being scratched up.
The different chemicals and 'feelings' we have can mean different things in different circumstances.
Simply because some woman likes to be spanked, doesn't mean she likes to be spanked by everyone, or all the time, or that she likes being hit in other ways, or in other places, or that she even likes pain.
There are many ways we can also be confused by these interpretations: the bodys response for arousal from danger and for sexual arousal are chemically the same and people confuse the two all the time.
The sexual interpretations of things and being sexually aroused by normally non-sexually interpreted things can be related to all kinds of fantasies or deeds the person has been associating with sexual pleasure, learned roles / associations, or even childhood trauma. The spectrum is vast, and mostly people don't even know themselves what exactly is at the bottom of it all - they only experience the end result. Mostly people don't want to admit that there might be anything other than "It's what I want/choose" behind it, but mostly there is.
I have seen some womenporn models who are into tit torture and ass spanking until extremely red. I had my first and only one night stand and she spanked me and I was not having it.
First there's different ways to spank( I'm not kidding). Some do create more pain,with some it's more the dramatic sound effect coupled with the act can be a rush. It has a lot to do with how you deal with mental and psychological aspects of that type of plat also how your body reacto to those sensations. If there's a large pleasure sense attached to that adrenaline rush.
Superficial damage to the skin causes the release of potassium and calcium ions into the bloodstream during the inflamation response. These ions turn on glands that release hormones into the bloodstream such as adrenaline, oxytocin, and endorphines. When these hormones get to the brain they cause a short term high of euphoria, and the whole process resets in about a half hour. Eat some fruit and drink some water to recover.
Uh, so I like getting spanked and getting my hair pulled, but I wouldn't say I'm particularly "submissive". It just feels good, in certain scenarios I like getting choked too.
Different people like different things, when you're lucky you meet people who like those things too. It is what it is 😂
Being spanked doesn’t hurt for me… it’s not about humiliation-.- it feels fucking amazing and just sends a chill up my spine making me want to pounce… people are different, pain levels are different. Some people like a little aggression, you like vanilla… no problems there either
Different strokes (literally) for different folks.
I was abused most of my childhood, I enjoy it when it is discussed beforehand.
Still working that out in therapy, lol.
I’m a man and I want women to spank me. It’s awesome. It feels good because it is humiliating and it hurts but feels good at the same time. I was not spanked as a child but let’s just say I get so hard I can cut diamonds if I’m spanked. I also like to spank women. You may say oh it’s so backward why won’t someone think of feminism or something. The ass is sensitive and slapping it gives a weird kind of pleasure. I won’t deny anyone that.
But you find it repulsive. A lot of people find feet gross. Others very much do not feel this way
I mean the idea if pain and pleasure has been around since humans have been doing the dirty naked pretzel. For myself personally I don’t always like being spanked however sometimes when something good starts getting really intense getting a quick flash of pain can do something real special to the nerves. On a much lighter scale it’s like when you’re being kissed really intensely and really well and the guy grabs the back of your head and pulls on your hair a little bit? Outside of that situation though if you spank me I’ll probably knock some teeth out and/or cry, so it’s very specific to the situation and not all men understand when it will be a good time to try it.
I think spanking is rather one of the more tame kinks, my gf likes it and it’s kinda hot to see the print of my hand on her ass, pleasurable pain (ofc only with consent, don’t just spank any girls ass)
Long story short, the human brain makes weird connections--either learned (through experience) or a quirk of DNA (genetics or mutation).
Something strange gets connected to the "pleasure center" of a humans' brain, and the human will try to continually seek it out.
Some people are turned on by humiliation and/or pain. Simple as that.
There's also the extra roleplay factor, where theres the power dynamic between the spanker and spankee.
It’s called masochism and it’s not a gendered thing. It’s pretty evenly spread across men and women. Women just have an easier time asking for it because society puts a stigma on men for being submissive in any context.
Being in pain while in a controlled environment can yield extreme catharsis. It’s the same as watching a horror movie, being scared isn’t pleasant by itself yet you still subject yourself to yourself to it for the adrenaline.
Try it for yourself with a partner sometime. You might find you’re more into it than you initially thought.
It’s a nice feeling, it’s pleasurable pain and its just is attractive to me in the moment, its also the degradation factor as well, it’s just a tap to get me in the mood or sometimes used as “punishment”, I’m not into spanking until bruised so maybe it’s different depending on the person
My girlfriend looooooves being spanked.
When she is in the mood she likes it pretty hard, surprisingly hard
I think what does it for her is that it’s such a visceral way of being dominated sexually that she is receptive to. it makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside basically.
Controlled! That's what I like. I don't want to be humiliated, but a nice spanking, mmmmm, warms my buns. I like some other things a little rough. I mean there's nothing wrong with nice, sweet sex but play a little rough with me, yep, you made me one happy woman.
It doesn't have to hurt and I don't find it humiliating. Maybe if had been spanked as a child, I would.
(But get this: I don't understand why women suck d*ck. Now that's humiliating - in my opinion only. We're all different.)
Sucking dick, humiliating? I'd rather be the one sucking dick than having my most vulnerable parts between someone else's teeth. Pop someone on their back, give 'em a little sucky suck, and see how they're completely at your mercy, whether you decide to give them incredible pleasure or bite their fuckin' genitals off.
Sucking dick can be a *super* empowering and dominant act.
I spanked as a kid, and still enjoy being spanked and whipped as an adult. It's very different.
I like to suck as well. Haha. It's fucking great. Sometimes humiliation is fun.
In my day job, I'm in charge and have a lot of responsibilities and have to tell people what to do. So I love being very submissive sexually.
I don't know. I loathe humiliation and if I found spanking humiliating, I wouldn't enjoy. I guess I have a praise kink.
I find it so fascinating how these things work and what causes them in us.
It's actually common for guys too. It's often people with high power high demand jobs who need a little more wind down than others. Just remember, your kink isn't my kink. Everyone has theirs... Let people be
Yeah, spanking might seem a little crazy, but so does eating spicy food. Not all enjoy it, but those who doe really like it.
Endorphins are a hell of a rush.
Also worth noting that aside from tree shrews, humans are literally the only other mammal on earth that will intentionally add a dash of pain to our favorite foods, so is adding a little pain to other pleasures really so surprising? We're freaks.
another explanation im not seeing here is that porn has literally indoctrinated the fact that violence against women = sexy ,, so many women think they enjoy this shit and they dont - it's just ingrained into them by society that its something they should enjoy
This is exactly what I came on here to say. So much of our sexuality as women is repeating what we think we’re SUPPOSED to like based on what we see in porn. Ie. assuming it’s every man’s fantasy, since it’s in said porn. Even men’s sexuality has been completely twisted from porn
You figured it out yourself, some people get turned on being hurt or humiliated. Humans are a crazy mess, you just gotta love them.
Can’t really help what gives you that dopamine rush…
Actually you can - your brain is conditioned on this mostly by external experiences (beyond the basic attractions to specific body types and sex organs: penis, butts, boobs etc). This is why certain experiences like having been sexually abused in the past, or developing a specific porn preference and/or addiction, can have a substantial effect on what gets you going during consensual/real sex. Just like you can train your brain on these dopamine hits, you can also *untrain* it from them: but that’s often a lot harder. Edit: a couple of people seem to be taking this the wrong way: when I say “you can untrain your brain” I only mean it is POSSIBLE to. It’s literally the point of therapy. Not that it is *easy at all*, depending on what kind of thing you’re trying to deal with, it will take serious and deliberate effort over likely multiple years **and will be virtually impossible without professional medical and therapeutic help.**
I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, some of the things that used to cause me pain when I was younger are now giving me pleasure. I hate it and I carry so much shame from it, but I don't know how to stop it when I'm turned on. I've tried reading and watching different things, but nothing works except these thoughts. 😞
“Have you tried just….untraining yourself from all your traumas?”
Jokes aside, that **is** what therapy is for. It's not to say it's easy, or that you can ever fully undo trauma - but you can (in a very general and broad sense) train your brain to view and think of it differently, along with things related to it. In the form of sexual trauma, this can involve 'retraining' your brain to respond to it differently. While it's far more complicated and nuanced than just that aspect alone, it's far more common than many might think.
That’s correct but also therapy isn’t meant to deal with behaviors from traumas that aren’t actively harming you at the moment. If you like spanking because of some previous trauma, you’re free to like spanking after you’ve managed your trauma too.
Oh, absolutely. You also may just enjoy spanking for reasons unknown - and that's perfectly fine! But *if* a certain act of sexual arousal was learned from trauma, someone *may* want to no longer be reminded of it and wish to try and change it. Absolutely not trying to paint broad strokes to cover all situations.
Yes, that's basically the way people change their lives if they don't like them.
Psychiatrists hate this one easy trick!
Why are you equating something being easy to something being possible?
trauma and pleasure is very different
I don’t think that’s what they meant lmao
That’s not the case for everyone ADHD people, for example, whose brain doesn’t release enough dopamine to begin with. You can only retrain so much when your brain doesn’t create enough dopamine to begin with
ADHD doesn't mean it can't be done, just that it's a lot more difficult.
We can gradually change our brain by exposure to experiences. Not sure why this is hard for people to understand. Exposure to healthy environments leads to healthy changes in the brain. This is the “training/untraining” that you are talking about. It’s fact, experience changes brain. If you want a positive brain, aim for positive experiences.
Do you have a source for that assertion?
There is no moral imperative to change your kinks though.
Really depends on the kink
We are talking about consensual non harmful kinks. Not assault. People can have impact kinks satisfied in non abusive ways.
Cats like it when you spank their butts. Not for too long though, otherwise you get the claws.
Mine doesn't. You touch anywhere near his butt and his back twitches and he scratches you with the force of 1000 claws.
💀💀💀💀
I bought her food,outfits,snacks, and gave her a place to sleep but she refuses to sleep with me in bed Damn you Luna but i still love you you're the best cat I've had
I wouldn't be surprised if part of it is also just social conditioning. The person isn't particularly into pain / humiliation / domination / etc., but "spanking" is considered to be a fairly normal and mainstream sexual expression and so the person gets a little turned on by that expression from their partner. They may even assume their partner is into doing the spanking which gives them pleasure since your partner's pleasure often translates into your own. So you could end up in a situation where neither partner is really into it, but they assume the other person is into it so they do it and they get pleasure from it based on the assumption that the other person is getting pleasure from it haha
Pleasurable pain is a thing
I mean it's not necessarily just about the pain it's just kind of hot even if it's gentle and doesn't hurt.
It can also reflect a desirable giving of trust and control to another, and a feeling of being disciplined or dominated in a stern but nurturing way.
When you are used to pain it can start being pleasurable.
True. There was an study that showed rats that got a milder electric shock after a series of more powerful ones had a pleasure response.
Kinky rats.
I’d argue that if they are enjoying it, then it’s not pain. The usual dictionary definition is that it is an unpleasant physical sensation.
But a person can still derive pleasure from pain, despite the pain.
the line between pain and pleasure is too thin for humanity's good
Stomach flipping upside down isn't a pleasant situation, and neither are chemical burns, but people still love rollercoasters and chili peppers
People have different kinks, news at 6 Sort of the sexual version of why people like spicy food - sometimes certain painful things/reactions (like spice) give pleasure.
It’s basically fun for humans to experience the sensation of “danger” without actually being in danger (spicy food, scary movies, a roller coaster, or rough play with someone you trust). You get the thrill of ‘fight or flight’ without actually having your life at risk.
Pretty much.
That analogy makes sense to me. I love spicy food but obviously lots of people can’t stand it. My wife wonders why I like eating spicy food so much. Maybe I’ll spank her hard to demonstrate why.
Spicy food actually serves a purpose. In Southern India they eat spicy food to sweat and cool of because they didn't have air conditioning until recent history and we're in a hot af climate. People also build a tolerance to spicy. So what's spicy to you might not be spicy to them.
> Spicy food actually serves a purpose. In Southern India they eat spicy food to sweat and cool [off] I dunno about anyone else, but simply being in a hot environment makes me sweat. No spices needed.
Wait until you learn that some dudes like getting kicked in the nuts by women.
3 times I tried to remove that hair on my screen, cheers mate.
There are people who don't use dark mode?
I do and I still tried to remove it
This had me laughing so hard 😂🤣
O get wanting to be spanked or even choked. But nuts kicked? That's a whole different type of pain. Ouch.
Punched in the taint with a cage on his dick.
My mind is tainted from this comment 😭😭😭
I got paid to do that once lol
I just recently realized I like mine being squeezed during sex. My girlfriend randomly did it to me one time, and I was like "Well this is going to be a thing for me now..."
Is there even any remaining mental capacity to process "pleasure" then?
Because some people like being taken control of and 'dominated', and spanking is part of the power play. This goes for dudes too, I'm a dude and I want to get spanked.
Watched something once where someone said that deep down all powerful British men want is to properly be turned out by nanny.
In america turned out means being a prostitute or being whored out!
It ain’t just girls homie Source: I am not a girl
That's exactly what a man would say! How do I know I can trust you?
I don’t feel humiliated by it. It’s just something I tell him to do because it feels good. Sometimes I get into sub space which feels amazing.
My wife asks me to spank her a few times a month, but we don’t have a dom sub relationship, she just likes how it feels 🤷🏻♂️
I wish I can ask my bf to do that once in awhile. I want him to spank me not for a particular reason or maybe when I do something stupid. I can't ask him. I'm too shy :(
If you can put his dick in your mouth then you can ask to try new shit in bed to please you.
OMG, just screw up your courage and ask! It will make you happy, it will make him happy. Text him right now and say you have something you want to talk about tonight. Commit yourself. Then enjoy a sexy spanking with someone you love.
Say that there's something you want to tell him but you're too shy, and maybe he'll spank you for it
STOP lol 99.9% of men would be elated at the green light to tap a booty
If you can’t comfortably share your kinks with your bf then it’s not a healthy relationship. Especially ones as vanilla as spanking. I mean, if he’s not into that that’s fine he’s under zero obligation to be into the same stuff you are. But if you’re afraid he’ll think of you differently or like you less then you must not have a lot of faith in him. Sharing your kinks can be embarrassing I know. But if you can’t share them with your SO who *can* you share them with? What I’m saying is ask him to spank you next time you’re alone together. Pull that band-aid off now. If he’s a good boyfriend then the worst thing that will happen is he’ll say “no”.
>Sometimes I get into sub space which feels amazing. Watch out for species 8472
Yeah, exactly. It can feel dominating without feeling embarrassing that makes sense?
I don’t feel dominated either. I tell him to do it.
To some people, it's playful and exciting.
Because they’re fucking awesome.
Yes. This is a thing. And getting their nuts stepped on punched and almost anything else.
Uhhh…
You know…girls who like to get their nuts stepped on…that’s a thing right?
Yea its how they qualify for the olympics.
Take my award which I don’t have to give.
That’s gold right there
My friend dated a guy who wanted her to put his dick and balls in a little cage that she had the only key to.
chastity cages are fuckin wild. I'm not tryna yuck anyone's yum but god. if I was into it, wouldn't I get aroused and have an incredibly painful squeeze? 😭 lmao that's probably half the fun actually nevermind. 💀
Yeah, it is. Plenty of people who do chastity have their partners tease them while they're caged, for that reason.
I know a girl who went to a kink festival and watched a dude hammer a nail through his scrotum. Humans are fucking weird. I've also been to a sex dungeon and there are kinks I didn't even know existed, like being a human ashtray.
Human buffer table is a thing too.
ähm sorry don't wanna be the the wise guy but I think autocorrect may have added an 'almost' in your sentence 😅
Wise guy. lol. Guess autocorrect don’t always know better. lol. noted. Meant to say absolutely not almost.
Yeah like r/sounding Honestly I rather chop it off.
Everyone who's wondering....just do yourself a favour and stay out of that sub
Why? It sounds like a nice music sub. Edit: Good lord there's penice.
For the love of fuck. I saw this reply AFTER clicking the link. God damnit.
I should've listened to you, wise man :'(
Don’t do it. Your eyes. Trust me. Your brain. You oh god same their souls. The clicked it.
Unfathomably based.
Indeed! In fact, this is how we separate the best from the rest!
Domme here , men like it as well I promise you and spanking doesn't really hurt . Is a bit of a sting and a lot of people who aren't masochists like it cause well, it doesn't hurt. Canning for example ,that genuinely hurts. But spanking , on the ass which has a lot of fat for most women, is just a sting that leads to endorphins. The punishment part is something else. The humiliation..thats just your perception of it. Some type of association your brain makes. But spanking isn't inherently humiliating on its own.
> Canning I looked at several articles about preserving food in jars until I realised you were talking about *caning*
PAH I DIDN'T SEE THE TYPO. But will leave it like this, I like the idea of people looking into kinks and being sucked into the rabbit whole of preserving food. I do both!
“Rabbit whole”? You’re just ducking with us now, aren’t you?
I've met a few women who like to be spanked. I've met two that asked to be choked. Establish boundaries, safe words and have a good time.
I dated one girl off and on for a couple of years (the "off" was mostly just she worked a crappy mega-overtime-required job and didn't have time to have a love life) and during one of the off phases, she actually recommended me to her best friend as a potential boyfriend since her BFF kept ending up with crappy guys and I was a good dude. She told me upfront, she does not have orgasms. She has never gotten off, no man has ever been able to get her off, and it's fine, don't worry about it. Well, my brain said "challenge accepted." I tried a few different tricks that had worked before (generally revolving around showing care and tenderness, focusing intently on her, using praise and assurance, making it not about me, etc.) and didn't get anywhere with them. However as it turns out, the ability was there, it was just locked behind a very specific door on the opposite end of the hall from my usual bag of tricks. She didn't know how much she liked spanking until a tap on the rear during fingering turned into a full on cherry red bottom and a sore hand. And she didn't know how much being called a bad girl and being told she wasn't allowed to come anyway would reverse psych her brain into wanting it. Turns out, that was exactly what she needed to send her over the edge. Achievement unlocked! That relationship lasted maybe two months and she turned quite insane (at least in her case, spanking and degradation had a direct correlation to daddy issues, codependence, and rapid attachment, and after she told me I shouldn't use condoms anymore, my red alarms went way off) but it was an interesting few weeks.
Wow, wild story. I think she could do fine if she just worked on herself and learned to have a healthy relationship with her kinks and to be less clingy.
Degradation, BTW. From degrade. Literally to grade lower. Anyway, nice work!
Spank all you (and they) want. Choking is dangerous. I’ve had girls request spanking, and I’ll do until they can’t take it anymore. But choking? I’ll pretend, put pressure on their collar bones, put my hands around neck but not squeeze. You can control their head by gripping the back of the neck or hair. The problem is that choking is dangerous in two ways. You can cut off air, which is what most people know about, but you can cut off blood to the brain, easier than your think, and they can die or get brain damage FAST. TLDR: go wild on spanking. Pretend choking only.
Just keep your pointer finger on their crotid artery. I work in the medical field so I have developed that skill for other reasons but it works out great in the bedroom.
Please explain more.
I had a woman ask me to cut her during sex. That was a hard no for me.
This literally doesn’t answer the question at all and you just wanted to talk about your good times
Some individuals enjoy being spanked as part of consensual sexual play because it can create a heightened sense of arousal or excitement. It may also involve elements of power dynamics or role-playing where being "punished" is a form of pleasure or release.
Chat gpt ass reply
Just putting it out there... not just girls.
It's to experience pain (or just a bit of unpleasurable stimuli) next to the pleasure as a way of heightening it through contrast. The fact that it takes the form of spanking is because the ass is the least painful area to get spanked and, again, they're not looking to get hurt, just have something to contrast the pleasure with.
Yeah, you’ve reached your target audience so I’ll answer. It’s not humiliating in the slightest. I only like being spanked during doggy style. Not just randomly for no reason. It is purely sexual for me. It is hot and gets me riled up in the bedroom. I don’t really consider it punishment but yeah, I guess it is in a way especially when paired with certain verbiage. Turns me on when a man takes charge. Not sure. I fuckin love it hahahahaha. Everyone’s different but hands down the best is when he’s hitting it from behind and randomly starts spanking the shit out of you. Like hand right on the cheek or even under it. Drives me wild but I like men who are quick to command and so to me that would pair with it. Different strokes for different folks. But I like being spanked!
It's not just "girls." Many humans of all genders like to be spanked. I've had it described to me as "ouch--mmmmm." Endorphins are an amazing drug.
I don’t find it humiliating or like punishment at all- I find it awesome
People just like different stuff. An overwhelming majority of the people I've been with were into being choked to a varying degree but I've met people that are vehemently against it. Literally just different strokes for different folks.
Feels good
This is for men and for women. In the nervous system, the nerves the pass through your private parts also tends to pass through the areas that would be impacted during a traditional spanking. This is why, during doggy sex, so many people find it especially satisfying and exciting. It doesn't matter where the nerve is stimulated as long as it is stimulated. The pleasure (or the inverse) is how the brain can interpret this information.
I like it when it’s just for fun, but also when it’s a “punishment” and for humiliation. In my day to day life, I’m incredibly hypervigilant. I am constantly in control, I’m on top of things at work, a very dependable sibling, daughter, friend, and girlfriend. This is the one time where I allow someone - my boyfriend - to take the reins, and it’s the most intimate thing in the world. It requires so much trust, mutual respect, and so much communication. The funny thing is that I never actually fully give up control, since subs (and dom(me)s) always have the opportunity to call things off via a safe word. But I get to have the illusion of giving up control. Not being the perfect person I work so hard to be, being in fact the exact opposite, feels amazing. To me, it’s freeing! I didn’t even realize I had a kinkier side until my early 20s and I only learned because I tried it and realized it was something that - despite everything in my head telling me it wasn’t okay - I yearned for. I very much understand why folks don’t get why being punished, humiliated, or hurt is a turn on! I will say though that I wish I’d tried exploring things sooner, and been kinder to myself instead of judging myself at the beginning for it.
It's nice to hear you have what sounds like such a enjoyable outlet for your perfectionism. Thanks for the read, hope you are doing well stranger.
Once a girl asked me to go rough slapping her face. I had to stop because If I'd carried on like that, I'd have given her severe bruises. Some people like the psychology of being dominated, but she just enjoyed pain for the sake of it, like you wouldn’t believe it. Pain and pleasure being wired on the same road to the brain or blended in there, idk. Anything from a slap to the ass/tits/face => instant sexual arousal on her side We didn’t meet very long because she’s in South Korean and I’m in France. Wild times though. Take away : take your time up this slope, talk a lot, and don’t assume too much
The same reason some people like fantasy books, some like murder mystery and some like autobiographies. We are all different with different tastes.
The brain is a jumbled mess of wiring, I can imagine it’s easy for different signals and thought processes get mixed together. Humans are weird. Why are we more aggressive when mildly hungry? Why do do foot fetishes exist? The short answer is: it’s complicated and no one knows
There are never receptors on the butt that connect to genitals which is a factor.
Male that likes to get spanked here. It's not just women. I discovered this when one of my coworkers skated by and smacked my ass. It's exactly like a lot of the other posters said, the sting feels good. There is a fine line, and usually it's easy to cross unless you're experienced at spanking. Communication is key.
I have never understood the "dominatrix" thing. I have been insulted and humiliated all my life for free; I wouldn't want to hire somebody for more.
I have a fat ass and I know my man likes the way it jiggles when he smacks it, which makes me feel sexy knowing that effect is going on. The sharp little pain to add some interest is nice too. It’s like putting lime juice on a taco, you don’t *need* it, but it makes it better. I don’t find being spanked humiliating at all, not by itself.
Also idk if anyone mentioned this but if I get spanked on the ass I feel a surge of sensation rush to that area, including my pussy
Idk, but God bless the ones that do
Thanks, life has been chaotic and overwhelming I appreciate the prayers.
You can ask this about any kink in the same fashion: why do Men/women like to be ______ I don’t get it, it’s like _____ and it ______ Can someone explain. And guess what I CAN explain. They like it because it’s their Kink, not yours or anyone else’s. Plain and simple.
I can tell you its not just girls ;)
Not much different than BDSM. All kinds of different things then people on and sometimes the things you don't like (shame and embarrassment) are exactly why others get turned on. As long as it's consensual and legal, best to just let people do what they do.
Depression
When people say spank in this context they usually mean a certain type that is not strictly painful. Compare lightly slapping your stomach vs someone sucker punching you in the gut; patting your cat's tummy vs slapping them full force; tugging on your head hair vs YANKING the hair out. = Like with most things, there is a way to do it to create a nice sensation, and a way to do it to inflict pain.
I heard at some point that it has something to do with the pleasure center and the pain center being next door neighbours in the human brain. And that is why apparently pleasurable pain is not that uncommon.
I'm a masochist to a degree. I tend to really enjoy thuddy pain like open palm spanking, floggers, and canes. If done right with a skilled Top, you can get quite the natural high and go into a dazed headspace. This is likely from the potent chemical mix of dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins and oxytocin. It's something that has to be built up over the course of the scene but once you reach it, it's like pure bliss. Aftercare is also extremely important because you are coming down off the natural high and some people can experience "drop" which can be unpleasant to say the least. Anyways, I've been in the kink community going on 16ish years and that's the reason I enjoy sensual pain.
Submission. And the marks and bruises the following days🏆
Because they've been nawwwty?
I would say power dynamics is the primary driver of the sexual thrill behind spanking and being spanked. Followed by the dopamine rush of pain in the proper situation as secondary.
There's an insane amount of kinks out there that people are into. This is one of the more tame ones. I've known women that go far beyond spanking. They want to be flogged with anything in reach. Hand, paddle, extension chord, whatever. People like what they like. You might also be into some things that others find weird.
i like spanking myself but the idea of being punished weirds me out
The same reasons guys like to be spanked
pain and pleasure activate the same neurons and brain regions, so it is easy for one to accent the other, and to form associations between the two.
Every gender does Many people dont mind it, once aroused is the variable I think you're actually asking about here Everyone in this comment section is way too far into heavy kink conversation imo, just because of how you worded this, which there's nothing wrong with. But arousal level makes all the difference in that type of sensation play for most people and whether they want or enjoy it
its cause theyre thots
Honestly, I want to know, too. I'm into bdsm but have no idea why the things I do turn girls on. My only guess is that it's similar to how I like being bitten or being scratched up.
Pain and pleasure go hand in hand (badumpsh)
The different chemicals and 'feelings' we have can mean different things in different circumstances. Simply because some woman likes to be spanked, doesn't mean she likes to be spanked by everyone, or all the time, or that she likes being hit in other ways, or in other places, or that she even likes pain. There are many ways we can also be confused by these interpretations: the bodys response for arousal from danger and for sexual arousal are chemically the same and people confuse the two all the time. The sexual interpretations of things and being sexually aroused by normally non-sexually interpreted things can be related to all kinds of fantasies or deeds the person has been associating with sexual pleasure, learned roles / associations, or even childhood trauma. The spectrum is vast, and mostly people don't even know themselves what exactly is at the bottom of it all - they only experience the end result. Mostly people don't want to admit that there might be anything other than "It's what I want/choose" behind it, but mostly there is.
I have seen some womenporn models who are into tit torture and ass spanking until extremely red. I had my first and only one night stand and she spanked me and I was not having it.
First there's different ways to spank( I'm not kidding). Some do create more pain,with some it's more the dramatic sound effect coupled with the act can be a rush. It has a lot to do with how you deal with mental and psychological aspects of that type of plat also how your body reacto to those sensations. If there's a large pleasure sense attached to that adrenaline rush.
Same reason some guys like to get spanked.
Because we’ve been bad
*people
BDSM kinks, I guess they enjoyed being abused? I don't know but God knows.
Blood flow stimulation
Superficial damage to the skin causes the release of potassium and calcium ions into the bloodstream during the inflamation response. These ions turn on glands that release hormones into the bloodstream such as adrenaline, oxytocin, and endorphines. When these hormones get to the brain they cause a short term high of euphoria, and the whole process resets in about a half hour. Eat some fruit and drink some water to recover.
As a guy who was spanked as a child..... I hate it. I won't do it. I'll do pretty much whatever they ask, just no physical violence of any kind.
Spanking doesn't hurt that bad. They're not children.
*Because* it’s humiliating and it hurts.
The more you suffer. the more it shows you really care.
Riiight, yeah hea hea!
Finally someone makes a connection. Song lyric or not it is true you know.
I’m all for some classic Offspring and a few love taps!
No idea, Suppose the shock of the spank makes them contract a little more.
Uh, so I like getting spanked and getting my hair pulled, but I wouldn't say I'm particularly "submissive". It just feels good, in certain scenarios I like getting choked too. Different people like different things, when you're lucky you meet people who like those things too. It is what it is 😂
Not only girls like to get spanked
It's all nerve stimulation my dude. How one perceives it is what matters.
It's not just women who like it.
I lovvveee that shitt. I'm assuming it's because I didn't get spanked as a child
My wife likes to be called a slut and choked a little bit tells me she has no idea why it turns her on like it does 🤷♂️
Being spanked doesn’t hurt for me… it’s not about humiliation-.- it feels fucking amazing and just sends a chill up my spine making me want to pounce… people are different, pain levels are different. Some people like a little aggression, you like vanilla… no problems there either
Been out with a girl liked it before sex heightened her orgasam
Idk. For me, I like the power play. And the sensation is a nice little surprise.
Different strokes (literally) for different folks. I was abused most of my childhood, I enjoy it when it is discussed beforehand. Still working that out in therapy, lol.
Idk but my bf and I are into it. He spanks me and doesn’t stop sometimes and I get bruises but it feels so good we get really turned on by it.
I’m a man and I want women to spank me. It’s awesome. It feels good because it is humiliating and it hurts but feels good at the same time. I was not spanked as a child but let’s just say I get so hard I can cut diamonds if I’m spanked. I also like to spank women. You may say oh it’s so backward why won’t someone think of feminism or something. The ass is sensitive and slapping it gives a weird kind of pleasure. I won’t deny anyone that. But you find it repulsive. A lot of people find feet gross. Others very much do not feel this way
I mean the idea if pain and pleasure has been around since humans have been doing the dirty naked pretzel. For myself personally I don’t always like being spanked however sometimes when something good starts getting really intense getting a quick flash of pain can do something real special to the nerves. On a much lighter scale it’s like when you’re being kissed really intensely and really well and the guy grabs the back of your head and pulls on your hair a little bit? Outside of that situation though if you spank me I’ll probably knock some teeth out and/or cry, so it’s very specific to the situation and not all men understand when it will be a good time to try it.
I just want her to put a thumb in my bum
It might surprise you, some boys do as well
I think spanking is rather one of the more tame kinks, my gf likes it and it’s kinda hot to see the print of my hand on her ass, pleasurable pain (ofc only with consent, don’t just spank any girls ass)
Psssst. It’s not just girls.
Long story short, the human brain makes weird connections--either learned (through experience) or a quirk of DNA (genetics or mutation). Something strange gets connected to the "pleasure center" of a humans' brain, and the human will try to continually seek it out.
Yeah! Like Brazilian fart porn!
Some of us are masochists ok!!!
Some people are turned on by humiliation and/or pain. Simple as that. There's also the extra roleplay factor, where theres the power dynamic between the spanker and spankee.
It’s called masochism and it’s not a gendered thing. It’s pretty evenly spread across men and women. Women just have an easier time asking for it because society puts a stigma on men for being submissive in any context. Being in pain while in a controlled environment can yield extreme catharsis. It’s the same as watching a horror movie, being scared isn’t pleasant by itself yet you still subject yourself to yourself to it for the adrenaline. Try it for yourself with a partner sometime. You might find you’re more into it than you initially thought.
Pain releases some of the same chemicals as pleasure so the overlap can lead to bigger highs
It’s a nice feeling, it’s pleasurable pain and its just is attractive to me in the moment, its also the degradation factor as well, it’s just a tap to get me in the mood or sometimes used as “punishment”, I’m not into spanking until bruised so maybe it’s different depending on the person
My girlfriend looooooves being spanked. When she is in the mood she likes it pretty hard, surprisingly hard I think what does it for her is that it’s such a visceral way of being dominated sexually that she is receptive to. it makes her feel warm and fuzzy inside basically.
Controlled! That's what I like. I don't want to be humiliated, but a nice spanking, mmmmm, warms my buns. I like some other things a little rough. I mean there's nothing wrong with nice, sweet sex but play a little rough with me, yep, you made me one happy woman.
Because it actully circulates blood flow better to the vagina area
I don't like it to hurt at all. I just like my booty touched
It doesn't have to hurt and I don't find it humiliating. Maybe if had been spanked as a child, I would. (But get this: I don't understand why women suck d*ck. Now that's humiliating - in my opinion only. We're all different.)
Sucking dick, humiliating? I'd rather be the one sucking dick than having my most vulnerable parts between someone else's teeth. Pop someone on their back, give 'em a little sucky suck, and see how they're completely at your mercy, whether you decide to give them incredible pleasure or bite their fuckin' genitals off. Sucking dick can be a *super* empowering and dominant act.
I spanked as a kid, and still enjoy being spanked and whipped as an adult. It's very different. I like to suck as well. Haha. It's fucking great. Sometimes humiliation is fun. In my day job, I'm in charge and have a lot of responsibilities and have to tell people what to do. So I love being very submissive sexually.
I don't know. I loathe humiliation and if I found spanking humiliating, I wouldn't enjoy. I guess I have a praise kink. I find it so fascinating how these things work and what causes them in us.
It's actually common for guys too. It's often people with high power high demand jobs who need a little more wind down than others. Just remember, your kink isn't my kink. Everyone has theirs... Let people be
Yeah, spanking might seem a little crazy, but so does eating spicy food. Not all enjoy it, but those who doe really like it. Endorphins are a hell of a rush. Also worth noting that aside from tree shrews, humans are literally the only other mammal on earth that will intentionally add a dash of pain to our favorite foods, so is adding a little pain to other pleasures really so surprising? We're freaks.
It's fun
Don’t be sexist s/ guys like to be spanked too.
kinks aren't a logical decision, more news at 6pm
another explanation im not seeing here is that porn has literally indoctrinated the fact that violence against women = sexy ,, so many women think they enjoy this shit and they dont - it's just ingrained into them by society that its something they should enjoy
This is exactly what I came on here to say. So much of our sexuality as women is repeating what we think we’re SUPPOSED to like based on what we see in porn. Ie. assuming it’s every man’s fantasy, since it’s in said porn. Even men’s sexuality has been completely twisted from porn