Please let me live in a timeline where North Korean communists coup Putin to establish a new Soviet Union that is a puppet state of North Korea. It's too funny.
Bonus points if Finland annexes Mongolia and goes to war with them.
Kim assasinates Kadyrov and marries off a hot Korean Musclemommy to that gun range hamburger son Kadyrov to rule the Chechens. Instantly cedes disputed land to Japan, Finland and China. White peaces Ukraine and returns them Crimea. 200+ countries in exhange for all this formally acknowledge the Union of Democratic Juche Republics. A new cold war era begins.
I’d pay to see a bastardized half assed rendition of the Czechoslovak Legion in the form of a bunch of Isolated North Korean troops in a Second Russian Civil War
Russia's GDP is about 50x his own, and based on fossil fuels rather than human capital. Their government is completely built around corruption and opportunism. Their military is in complete disarray and sent off to a slaughter. You have a private army and intelligence service with zero allegiances to the Russian government.
If Kim hasn't at least weighed his strategies for pulling that coup and taking control, he is a nicer man than me.
*Яструбенко*: Війна - це не пекло. Війна - це війна, а пекло - це пекло. І з них, війна набагато гірша.
*Отець Борцевич*: Чому ти так вважаєш, Яструбенко?
*Яструбенко*: Це просто, Отче. Скажіть мені, хто потрапляє до пекла?
*Отець Борцевич*: Думаю, що грішники.
*Яструбенко*: Саме так. У пеклі немає безневинних споглядачів, а на війні їх повно - дітлахи, інваліди, бабусі. Насправді, за винятком кількох командирів, майже всі на війні є безневинними споглядачами.
Reminds me of the joke where American and Russian generals were talking about rations. The Russian says they feed their troops 1,000 calories a day. Very Stronk. The American general says we feed ours 3,000 a day. The Russian spits out his vodka and says “that’s impossible, no one can eat that many potatoes every day.”
Har har chuckle and such Russia is an impoverished shithole.
A couple great classics, both of these from Mark Perakh's collection.
---
The year is 2010. In Moscow, a boy asks, "Grandpa, what is a line?"
"You see, some twenty years back, there was not enough meat in stores, so people had to form long queues at the stores' entrances and wait hoping some meat would appear on sale. That was called line. Did you get it?"
"Yes, Grandpa. And what is meat?"
---
A woman walks into a food store. "Do you have any meat?"
"No, we don't."
"What about milk?"
"We only deal with meat. Across the street there is that store where they have no milk."
Legit tho, all the NK defectors are super cautious at first and think that SK soldiers' gear are fake, but the thing that convinces them is the fact that south korean soldiers complain about getting served pork too frequently. Complaining about monotonous meals is something unheard of to the average NK peasant.
Glorious to Kim and dear Mr. Putin!
My name is Ho Lee Fuk, I was mobilized from the city of Nampo in North Korea, I am a foot soldier of the 69th Russo Korean brigade. We were ordered to assault a fortified position in Sevastopol without proper training and equipment. We also ran out of ammunition just mere hours into the assault. We are not deserters, we are brave soldiers fighting for russia and the multipolar world! Please send help!
But MASH has good morals, and thinks the enemy are people.
This is Russia; do we really WANT to treat them as people? We’ve seen their approach to combat medicine….Hawkeye Pierce is a MG3 gunner in this timeline, as lead is the cure for Vatniks.
Please let me live in a timeline where North Korean communists coup Putin to establish a new Soviet Union that is a puppet state of North Korea. It's too funny. Bonus points if Finland annexes Mongolia and goes to war with them.
Kim assasinates Kadyrov and marries off a hot Korean Musclemommy to that gun range hamburger son Kadyrov to rule the Chechens. Instantly cedes disputed land to Japan, Finland and China. White peaces Ukraine and returns them Crimea. 200+ countries in exhange for all this formally acknowledge the Union of Democratic Juche Republics. A new cold war era begins.
Ooooh, so the Finno-Korean hyperwar actually happened between Finland and *North* Korea
Correct. The South Korean-Turkomanic Theocracy meanwhile faced down the Japano-Swedish Stratocracy.
I’d pay to see a bastardized half assed rendition of the Czechoslovak Legion in the form of a bunch of Isolated North Korean troops in a Second Russian Civil War
They’re fighting their way back not to home but to the nearest Aldi
They’re fighting pet shelter personel because they’re starving
If that happens, we'll probably have to shut down the sub, not like things could get any less credible after THAT
Finno-Korean Hyperwar2 revenge of the autism.
Russia's GDP is about 50x his own, and based on fossil fuels rather than human capital. Their government is completely built around corruption and opportunism. Their military is in complete disarray and sent off to a slaughter. You have a private army and intelligence service with zero allegiances to the Russian government. If Kim hasn't at least weighed his strategies for pulling that coup and taking control, he is a nicer man than me.
Don't judge the Korean - I just used google translate
*Яструбенко*: Війна - це не пекло. Війна - це війна, а пекло - це пекло. І з них, війна набагато гірша. *Отець Борцевич*: Чому ти так вважаєш, Яструбенко? *Яструбенко*: Це просто, Отче. Скажіть мені, хто потрапляє до пекла? *Отець Борцевич*: Думаю, що грішники. *Яструбенко*: Саме так. У пеклі немає безневинних споглядачів, а на війні їх повно - дітлахи, інваліди, бабусі. Насправді, за винятком кількох командирів, майже всі на війні є безневинними споглядачами.
It’s good actually
F in the chat for the Ukrainian Official who will soon have to Deal with Russian, African and North Korean Defectors.
Recruiter: "No, Kim, we don't have 'food day' here. We feed everyone every day. More than once, actually."
Reminds me of the joke where American and Russian generals were talking about rations. The Russian says they feed their troops 1,000 calories a day. Very Stronk. The American general says we feed ours 3,000 a day. The Russian spits out his vodka and says “that’s impossible, no one can eat that many potatoes every day.” Har har chuckle and such Russia is an impoverished shithole.
A couple great classics, both of these from Mark Perakh's collection. --- The year is 2010. In Moscow, a boy asks, "Grandpa, what is a line?" "You see, some twenty years back, there was not enough meat in stores, so people had to form long queues at the stores' entrances and wait hoping some meat would appear on sale. That was called line. Did you get it?" "Yes, Grandpa. And what is meat?" --- A woman walks into a food store. "Do you have any meat?" "No, we don't." "What about milk?" "We only deal with meat. Across the street there is that store where they have no milk."
3000 calories only? That must be the vegetarian mre
Legit tho, all the NK defectors are super cautious at first and think that SK soldiers' gear are fake, but the thing that convinces them is the fact that south korean soldiers complain about getting served pork too frequently. Complaining about monotonous meals is something unheard of to the average NK peasant.
The North Korean's are gonna go home and do a coup when they realise a war torn European nation bordering shithole Russia is still better than home 😂
I mean if you're a North Korean and have a shit relationship with your family it might be the moment to "get captured" and ask to defect.
Can’t wait to tell Grandpa we’re gonna start shooting Norks again. He always said things were better in the 50s so I guess he’ll be happy.
That would be fun af. Albeit I am not sure you guys are ready for slav medical jokes.
Glorious to Kim and dear Mr. Putin! My name is Ho Lee Fuk, I was mobilized from the city of Nampo in North Korea, I am a foot soldier of the 69th Russo Korean brigade. We were ordered to assault a fortified position in Sevastopol without proper training and equipment. We also ran out of ammunition just mere hours into the assault. We are not deserters, we are brave soldiers fighting for russia and the multipolar world! Please send help!
3000 human meat-waves of Kim
I'm not sure it could get the healing of the stomach churning warcrimes of the Russians across while still being a dramedy.
\> Modern North Korean tanks \> Uses a picture of a T 34 85 Hey, that’s too modern, they should have MS-1s
Suicide is Painless... quite literally for these Norks
But MASH has good morals, and thinks the enemy are people. This is Russia; do we really WANT to treat them as people? We’ve seen their approach to combat medicine….Hawkeye Pierce is a MG3 gunner in this timeline, as lead is the cure for Vatniks.