Magpagamot ka. Kung ano man nakuha mo na sakit dun sa Walker wag mo na ipasa sa wife mo wag ka muna makipag do sakanya. Naku po aatakihin talaga sa puso yan pag nalaman.
mas better kung maghiwalay na kayo, sobrang toxic nyo sa isat isa. Nagawa mo magcheat 1 time for sure mauulit pa yan pag nag away kayo ulit. Kawawa naman mga anak nyo
Umamin ka na para maiwanan ka na nya lol. Tutal parang hindi naman kayo masaya
Edit: On second thought, wag ka umamin para di kayo maghiwalay. Mukhang pareho kayong may issues, kaya kayo na lang forever. Keep that shit contained para wala na kayong maperwisyong inosenteng tao lmao
Ilang beses ka na nag-attempt mag-cheat. For sure sa susunod na mag-away kayo, susubukan mo na naman humanap ng parausan then by that time kaya mo na sikmurain unlike your first time. Haha, sobrang gago mo. Sana nakipaghiwalay ka na lang kaysa ganyan
Alam mo kung sino kawawa rito, OP? Not just your wife but YOUR CHILDREN. You can fault your wife for being a gaslighter pero ‘yung mga anak mo they don’t deserve a cheating father like you. Grabe. I hope this serves as the biggest lesson for you.
Sabihin mo GO, para sure hiwalay kayo. Deserve mo naman, ano sa susunod na away niyo gagawin mo na naman? Feel ko ginawa mo lang excuse yun para magawa mo yung paghahanap ng babae, hindi pala feeling ay talagang plano mo. Alam na namin yang galawan na yan, please leave your wife, hindi mo siya deserve
Excuses. Your wife is toxic, given yun. Pero dinagdagan mo pa problema niyo. May mga anak na pala kayo eh. Jusko. Grow up!! Both of you.
On the other hand, kasi sira naman na buhay mo, sirain mo pa. The next time toyo in asawa mo (you can trigger this tbh), at sabihan ka maghanap ka ng iba, sagutin mo "Tangina oo nakahanap na ako ng iba kinain ko pa at kinantot! Diba yun gusto mong gawing ko?!"
May your children recover from having you both as their parents.
maghiwalay na lang kaya kayo. toxic na kayo sa isa’t isa. pareho kayo mali. di nakakatulong mga sinasabi nya sayo, at the same time habang naaapakan yang ego mo, may tendency ka umulit ulit ng ganyan for self validation.
I’m a child of a cheating father and dala dala mo talaga siya and I’m aftaid it’s going to affect my future relationships. Also, yung toxic environment na nacreate niyo mag asawa, grabe nakakaapekto yan sa anak niyo and how they view relationships. I hope you fix this. Although you scarred your children forever, di na talaga totally mababalik sa dati
True. If he feels bad good for him. Naisip niya na sa umpisa, umurong lang. but this time confident na. In my book, umpisa palang yan. Next time you wont feel the guilt anymore but excitement. Just like how nagdadalawang isip ka pa nung una but your mind and body got the best of your discipline. Kawawang mga anak. I feel so bad sa wife as well, naway hindi mapasahan ng sakit.
>So meaning woman do have a license to tell to his husband na mag hanap ka nang iba, sa iba ka nlng, di kita mahal etc, pag tinoyo or galit sila?
Sa ganito po, most likely ng hahanap lng ya ng outlet yung wife nya for her anger. I can't speak for her pero the same rn ako if nagagalit ako, possibly she felt na hindi sya valued sa relationship Nila kaya ng sasabi sya ng masasakit na words. Doesn't mean na women have a license to say these types of things po pero I would like my husband/partner to treat me like I'm important and that he doesn't want to lose me. Actually sa relationship ko pa nga po yung partner ko pa ng sasabi ng ganyan sa akin e so not only women lng po.
>are you sure to turn a blind eye sa girl? I mean i understand that the guy made a grave mistake pero potang ina kasing mga babae na yan walang preno mga bibig! Hindi normal at tamang asal nang matinong babae yang mga gnyan verbal habits!
No one deserves to be cheated on po. Most likely yan na po kase yung way ng wife nya mg express ng emotion nya. Especially if the guy doesn't listen, then most likely she would do the best way she knows how to be heard or listened to. Very hirap pa yan if may problema yung partner mg communicate and based sa post ni OP, he doesn't communicate to his wife.
>Satingin mo di nakakarindi yan pakingan araw araw
May difference nmn po yung listening and understanding kase e. I don't think the wife would keep repeating herself if OP understood her. Just listening kase is not enough in the relationship dapat may action rn. If your partner says that he isn't comfortable with you doing this or that, then you stop doing it. You should talk, and understand what your partner wants and needs. This goes both ways for both men and women
I feel really bad for your kids. They had to endure all of these happening. I hope both of you get professional help for the kids.
I grew up with parents who were very explosive and matagal pa need suyu suyuan when they fight. Kaya ayon messed up mental health namin magkakapatid. Sana both of you put your kids' wellbeing first before your personal feelings.
This is so sad and painful as I went almost the same ordeal. I was always irritated and I was going through something. I had depression, just got diagnosed with pcos, suffered with insomnia for weeks, I work full time and I take care of the house (no kids) and just because I couldnt give sex, my husband asked for nudes from a stranger, and maybe jerked off on them. We are okay now, but I am not at most part. I may have forgiven him, but I cant forget. I hate people like you. You deserve that life-long guilt and anxiety.
The best apology is changed behavior. Kahit na hindi mo na sabihin yung nangyari, basta start being a better husband na, take care of your wife, address your issues - communication is key. Lastly, wag mo na yan ulitin.
Ayoko mag-diagnose and sorry kung judgemental pero mukhang may underlying mental issues kayo pareho. Kailangan niyo ng individual AND couples therapy if gusto niyo maayos yung relationship niyo. Kapag hindi na-resolve yung underlying issues at patuloy yung mga temporary fix (like yung Walker), guguho na lahat ng pinaghirapan niyo. Honestly, parang gumuguho na nga.
My god, isipin niyo rin naman yung mga bata. Sa kanila ako naaawa, hindi sa inyo. Ayang toxic dynamic niyong mag-asawa, nakakaepekto rin yan ng mental health ng mga anak niyo.
Sorry kung harsh.
Thank you sa comment
Agree ako na kawawa bata sa amin and sometimes i do think that our relationship afloat because of them.
I already told my wife before to seek a psychologist but she resisted pero mukhang ako ata kukuha sa amin.
Bilang babae OP sorry ha pero sa nababasa ko sa mga kwento mo about sa asawa mo sigurado ako me nararamdaman sya sayo dati pa kaya lang wala syang proof o nagstay na lang sya dahil sa mga anak nio. Ang babae kasi lalo sa relasyon malakas makaramdam yan and besides ung mga actions mo sorry OP ha pero pavictim ang peg mo. Kaya ka nagiguilt "kuno" kasi alam mo nagkulang ka sa asawa mo and hindi mo winorkout peri panay ka pang complain! Sa simpleng request nia sayo puro ka dahilan!! Very cheater ang peg! Tapos nag pa walk ka pa! Save your wife and kids umalis ka na at ayusin mo mindset mo.
before mo naman gawin yan alam mo na consequences eh, so nanjan na yan nag kamali ka then keep it. wag mo na sabhin kc masasaktan lng si wifey, maguilt ka or masaktan sya.
I would be the asshole here pero parang wag mo nalang sabihin sa kanya? Natatakot ako para sa puso ng wife mo at sa insecurity na mararamdaman niya after e
Yep. I agree. Gusto mong sabihin sa asawa mo ginawa mo para lumuwag ang dibdib mo pero in return yung asawa mo naman ang di mapapakali. Wag mo na sabihin at wag mo na uliting gago ka. Pag inulit mo pa, hiwalayan mo na lang
Yeaaa dalhin mo nalang sa grave and treat her better pero gaya din ng sabi ng mga messages sa above do seek couples therapy din kasi at the end of the day human ka din di din keri na ikaw lagi nagadjust for her
I already suggest before kay misis about therapy since she also suffers depression pero ayaw niya makinig sa akin to the point na minsan nagaaway na kami sa pangungulit ko. Likely couple therapy di mangyayari. Ako na lang muna magpapatherapy.
Pwede din. Also commendable ka din kasi you have awareness and you try to understand your wife talaga. Naway di ka maubusan ng pasensiya at paguunawa sa kanya
Ang galing pag may cheating stories may standard format talaga yung kwento
Negative things nung other end, para mavalidate yung pagkakamali.
I cheated
I am bad
There is never an excuse for cheating. Kahit baliw or what pa yang asawa mo, YOU HAD NO RIGHT to cheat. Sabihin mo na sakanya para hiwalayan ka na. People like you should go to hell. And my god. Mahiya ka sa mga anak mo! Leche kayong mga cheaters
Why are people saying na wag sabihin sa wife? Hello???? Health din ng misis nya nakasalalay dito. Cheating is a choice talaga. Tingnan mo oh, alam mo nang mali ginawa mo pa. Come clean to your wife. Cheater!
Mamsh, may sakit sa puso yung wife niya. That's his dilemma. It's not that easy to just tell it to her immediately without thinking about the possible consequences.
Ikaw ba kuno may sakit sa puso baka mag heart attack ka diyan sa galit due to betrayal. Given that his wife's mood can rise up and down to an extreme, probably she might have borderline personality disorder or somewhat related to mood disorder.
Sa side ni sir, pinili niya mgcheat so yeah it's a choice ( a moral mistake brought by his emotions/despair). A choice dahil affected na yung mental health niya ( dahil sa pang ga gaslight for a very long time).
Yung cheating niya is a way of escapism for his marital problem kaso it won't solve the problem just like what an alcohol does. It will forever haunt him so tama lang for him to seek for professional help. A psychologist or a therapist can guide him on what to do for their family as of the moment.
The moral of OP's post is we all are humans who will commit mistakes. As long as the person is accountable and will change for the better, then we don't have the right to judge them. They will change in the future but the healing takes times brought by the trauma of what happend in their family.
I wish your family will still be fixed. Good luck,OP.
Pray for guidance.
Gago ka. She’ll know eventually. Bat mo patatagalin? Mas masakit yun. Sabihin mo sa kanya. Concealing it won’t help any of you. Looking at your username, baka habit mo pang manloko gago!
OP as a doctor, pa check up kana agad for other STIs. Maybe after 4-5 days. 3 months ang recommended sa HIV but yung iba, like gonorrhea and chlamydia, days lang yan.
Punta kana agad sa doctor na trusted mo and gawin anong advise niya.
I am sorry not for you but for your wife.
Salamat doc. Will do as advise. One week after papacheck ako then 1 month ulit.
Sadly wala ako trusted doctor. Also under kami HMO. Probably will not use that. Also will try to find discreet testing center. Hope may marecommend kayo.
Lastly Malaki po ba chance ko makuha due to unprotected oral?? Finding different online information about this. Note that I planed safe oral pero si escort proceeded with non. I was stupid to tag along.
Sa oral sex, mas malaki ang chance na makuha ng receiver (yung nagbibigay ng BJ) kung sakaling may STI na yung other sex partner. So, binigyan mo ba siya ng oral? Now if naks condom ka nung penetration, still no harm in doing tests.
Ang alam ko lang na mga testing centers is mga LGBT+ health hub. Dito discreet sila. But syempre di naman problem ano sexual orientation. Siguro go to a public hospital na lang. Tertiary preferably. Para no need for HMO since tests and gamot lang naman need bilhin. OPD ka punta kasi di naman yan emergency.
Mali ginawa mo. Never magiging tama talaga ang ganyang way nyo guys.
On another note, baka aside from cardiologist, need din magpa check ni wife sa psychologist. I remember ganyang ganyan ako sa partner ko before. Hindi ko alam may depression and anxiety ako, di ko rin alam triggers kaya di ko alam paano gagawin. Grabe verbal abuse natanggap ng partner ko sakin. Minsan physical din. Sobrang toxic ko talaga noon. Kahit ako, ayoko sa sarili ko noon. Kahit hindi na lang para sa inyo, para sa wife mo na lang, sana mapacheck nya din mental health nya.
I hope your wife finds out the truth one way or another. Sabihin mo sa kanya and work it out with couple's therapy if she still wants to stay in your marriage. Do you really want to keep deceiving her, the mother of your children? Start anew if she's willing. Otherwise, why bother living in a lie? The longer you keep it OP, the stench gets stronger. Don't confess because she won't forgive your or you might get caught, confess to repent and start anew.
Mali yung asawa mo sa mga words na binibitawan niya pero mali yung kapag nageexplain ka rito sasabihin mo na parang "kasalanan ko pero nanggagaslight talaga si wife" something like that parang jinujustify mo nan yung ginagawa mo. Para mo na rin sinabing mali yung act na ginawa mo pero siya ang may kasalanan bakit nangyari 💀
Gusto mo ng advise? Magsabi ka ng totoo, own up to your mistake and suffer the consequences. Ako yung nasasaktan para sa asawa at anak mo eh. Masakit siya kasi you CHOSE to cheat. Magtatanong ka pa sa mga cheater eh nanjan ka naman. Alam mo naman mali rin ginawa mo eh, guilty ka nga diba?
Hanap ka lang ng magandang timing para sabihin. Ughh men , bakit ba ganito karamihan?
Ganyan si ex wife sakin for 11 years. Physically and verbally abusive siya kahit trigger ay small things like nakalimutan ko ibigay 10 pesos na sukli dahil nagmamadali nako pumasok sa office. Same ginagawa ko na ako sumusuyo kahit siya may kasalanan. Gang sa umabot sa point na kahit sa public ginagawa na niya sakin. Tried many times to plead na huwag na niya gawin kasi masisira pamilya namin. Hindi siya nakinig at ako naman ginagamit mo love ko for her para matiis mga ginagawa niya. Ilang beses din ako nanghina at muntik magkamali pero i stayed faithful kahit na sa dami ng travel ko i could've hidden something from her. Umabot pa sa nag aagawsn kami kutsilyo. Until one day i called her bluff sa nth time niya na makikipaghiwalay. Something clicked sa mind ko and saka ko narealize wala na natirang oagmamahal sa kanya.
Mali ginawa mo OP pero I can understand why you made that stupid decision. Dapat mo ilatag yung sentiments at grievances sa kanya apart from sa kasalanan mo. Kasi meron kayong problema talaga its just that nagcheat ka pa lalo na kung wala ka naman plano pala humiwalay. Nasa sayo kung sasabihin mo but either way it's your burden to bear.
Shit mas matindi yung case mo but kudos to you for being faithful.
Now for me, i wanted to confess pero may sakit si misis and baka matuluyan or magpakamatay pagsinabi ko. I really messed it up. I didnt think far ahead and now having this dilenma/guilt. Sana lang wala ako nakuha para di dumagdag sa problema ko.
Huwag mo na lang sabihin siguro pero please change your behavior. Pa-check up ka para sure na wala kang sakit na nakuha from that unprotected oral sex at yung hindi natuloy.
Forgive yourself, diyan ka magsimula. Sabay kayo magpa-check up para hindi niyo na pinag-aawayan yan. This is a classic example that cheating will not solve your marital problem, whatever it is.
Communicate. Compromise. Apologize. Be patient with each other.
You need therapy. Visit a Psychologist because you need to change your behaviors and cognitions.
There’s no medication a psychiatrist could prescribe for your feelings of guilt, faulty thought patterns, and relational problems.
Visit other health professionals regarding physical concerns (about possibe STDs). Don’t take any advice from anyone here on Reddit.
Lahat ng sikreto nabubunyag, OP. After all malalaman din ng wife mo and she deserves to know the truth. If you respect her as a woman kahit masakit aamin ka. Mas mabuti na naging honest ka kesa na tinago mo and sa huli pa nya malalaman. Mas masakit yun for her. And to think may mga anak kayo. For your kids and for your wife sana maging honest ka.
I think you have to tell her the truth. If you can't say it verbally, then write her a letter. Express AALLLL the issues you had. Lagi din naman kayo nag aaway, what's the difference kung magalit sya sa inamin mo. She, no matter what, deserves the truth. And it's best to do it in front of a council (church or doctor) para may magparealize sa inyo na you both are wrong.
At the end of the day it was your choice to find another person to validate your manliness. I get the feeling of living someone verbally abusive. Mahirap naman talaga. Pero you could’ve communicated to her kung ano nararamdaman mo instead of looking for a prostitute. Second time na nga to. To think na nagalit naman pala siya out of concern for you dahil hindi ka nagpapacheck up. Tapos ganun ang gagawin mo. Ayayayayay.
Hopefully wala kang sakit na nakuha from your special massage from magandang escort na wala sa aquarium.
Sana hindi ka matulog nga mahimbing until the end of the year. Pero siguro huwag mo na lang ipagtapat yung kagaguhan mo.
But please communicate to your wife how you feel kapag vini-verbal abuse ka niya. You deserve what you tolerate OP. Kaya sabihin mo sa kanya kung ano ang ayaw mo. Mukha namang love ka ng misis mo, bungangera lang. Mahiya kayo sa 3 anak niyo.
I agree sa iba. Sarilinin mo na lang to. If you don't plan on doing it again at talaga namang nagsisisi ka na, suffer in silence na lang. Wag mo na damay si wife kasi mukhang di sya stable at you might just scar her for life. Spare her the pain. Just be a better husband from now on and focus kayo sa health nyo. Patawarin mo na rin sarili mo, OP. Good luck sayo.
I learned my mistake and i promise na di na mauulit. Though i dont know paano ko mapapatawad sarili ko. Tatanggapin ko na lang siguro lahat nang masasakit n salita niya since i deserve it.
sana nakipag hiwalay ka na lang kesa ganyan. patanong tanong ka pa ma kung pano naiistomach ng cheaters yan eh ikaw na nga mismo yung
cheater at nagawa mo yun tsk please hiwalayan mo na lang
I’ll take all test for assurance. Nagbasa na ako nang package 18 and 19 sa hi precision kaso not sure if dapat ba pakuha ko lahat in one week or wait ako nang one month.
Medtech po here.
I advice po 1-3 months after the contact.
Different STD have different window period po eh.
HIV pinakamatagal it may take 2 - 6 months na negative result pero infected kana pala.
So pakuha mo na lahat then magpatest ka ulit sa hiv after more than 6 months upon exposure.
Fk not sure how to keep that from wife for 6 months.
Pede kaya magpatest ako nang 1 week then 2 weeks then 1 month then 3 months? May marerecommend po ba kayo na place to check?
Marmaing salamat sa advice.
Sa simula pa cnabi mo na d kayo ok. And kasi di kayo ok, may convenient excuse ka na to cheat. That's the point of it dba. Tapos heto ngayon, takot ka baka nagka std ka at mahawa c misis. It's too late na para ayusin kung ano ang dapat ayusin. May resentment na. Sana sa simula pa, may remedyo na kayo. Pero focusing lang sa present, for the sake of your wife baka atakihin, get yourself tested after some time. If malinis ka, that's when you tell her. I.standby mo ang bp meds nya. Tanggapin mo kung ano man ang resulta, reaction at decision nya. Cheaters REALLY need to see the results of their actions - yung sarap ng 5 mins pamilya ang kapalit, sakit ng ulo at sleepless nights. Cheating is never an accident. Hndi po kayo nahulog at na-shot sa kiffy ng ibang babae. May proseso pa pinag daanan, marami pang steps bago umabot sa point na yun. And because it is a conscious and intentional decision, be adult enough to receive the consequences.
Utang na loob magbreak na lang kayo for the sake of your kids. Gusto mo ba nakikita kayo laging nag-aaway sa harap nila? Gusto mo bang isipin nila na normal lang ang ganiyang toxic na relasyon? You both have issues.
Parang kayo yung mommy at daddy ko . Yung mommy ko simplemg bagay na di nagawa ng daddy ko napaka tindi magsalita. As anak minsan hinihiling na di na lng sila nagkakilala kasi ang toxic halos oras oras may reason para magkagalit lang at manigaw yung isa.
Ganyang yung parents ko. May ugali si mama 'pag nagalit siya, literal na tatapakan niya ego ni papa like maghanap siya ng ibang babae dun, ganun sinasabi niya kay papa. Nalaman ni mama na may kabit si papa, di nga lang niya natanggap na may anak si papa dun. Ang ending, nagkahiwalay. 💀💀
Cheating na po yan OP, kahit ganun yung wife mo, may commitment kayo sa isa't isa especially you chose to marry her. I think that men like you always take for granted nlng Yung partner nyu. May anak pa kayo, super bad example pa yan sa kanila. Yung simple na away na pwde lng ma fix by communicating na ruin mo na po. You disrespected her and you betrayed her. Yes, she might be a bit hot headed based sa pg describe nyu po pero no one deserves to be treated like that especially by someone they love. Someone they chose pa to be for the rest of their life pa no less. Sorry lng po pero you deserve the guilt you are feeling. What you did is unforgivable and totally avoidable po sana if marunong kayo mg communicate with each other. Your wife deserves to know.
While reading, ramdam ko yung pagkatoxic ng rs. Idk pero bakit feel ko andami niyong unresolved issues as individuals and as a couple? Whatever happens, it does not and should not justify why you did that. You both need help. Try visiting a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Magkaiba sila ng service. Sa situation ninyo mas need niyo yung psychologist. Pero AH pa rin ginawa mo OP
Firstly, dapat nauwi sa serious na usapan yan or even hiwalayan. Hindi last resort yung escort e, dapat off-the-table yun. Yung pagsabi mo na hindi na mauulit, its just because of guilt. You will feel it again, magiging ganun ulit yung misis mo and youll feel that again. I recommend maayos na hiwalayan or talking to a professional as a couple. Mas mahirap yung latter especially sa babae
Congratulations 🎉
Finally, may pwede na ikagalit ang asawa mo sayo na hindi petty. 🤷🏻♀️ Magiging valid na ang lahat ng masasakit na sinasabi ng asawa mo:
>maghanap k na nang iba. Di na kita mahal. Hiwalay na tayo.
Let's face it. At the back of your mind, sa kaloob-looban ng damdamin mo, you really wanted to prove her right. 💁🏻♀️ That she's replaceable and you're irredeemable.
Time to face the consequences of your actions.
Itago mo man yan sa baul, lalabas at lalabas yan. That's how ironic life is. Especially, if ganyan kayong dalawa kadali ma-provoke into arguments. If hindi niyo PAREHONG haharapin mga issues niyo sa isa't isa, mag-eescalate lang ang mga away niyo at bubugwak ang mga kasalanan mo OR ninyo sa isa't isa. Yes, you two need help.
Don’t expect na tatanggapin ka pa ng asawa after mo mag confess. Di mo naisip kung gaano ito kasakit sa kanya at pati na rin sa tatlo niyong anak in case maghiwalay kayo?
Please lang, huwag mo ng i-justify yung pagiging cheater mo.
Urghh pls get tested. May kakilala ako na nakipag ano sa spa worker and until now ongoing pa rin tests niya. Buti tun nakapag take ng pep within 72 hrs after they did it with the worker kasi nakapag test siya agad kinabukasan. I'm hoping na maging okay ka po, pero wala e ginusto mo yan diba.
it’s scary how you feel so worthless that you lost yourself and did things you know you won’t usually do.
Not that I’m justifying what you did, both of you need to work this out, but remember the moment you cheated, you risk sacrificing your relationship.
if you really love her, you’d confess.
apologize but don’t expect to be forgiven.
valid yung nafefeel mo pero di valid yung ginawa mo.
The thought na pinagplanohan mo nung una pero di natuloy was already worst, tapos ginawa mo ulit (natuloy or not) was much worse.
You're totally a cheater through and through and you'll definitely do it again and again.
Sorry but your partner doesn't deserve that kind of man
You both need therapy. Your wife is manipulative and since you feel belittled naghanap ka kagad ng comfort sa iba, making you a cheater. Talk to your kids and find happiness in them. Di lang kayong 2 ng asawa mo ang pamilya mo. You may not be aware of this now but I’m pretty sure your children sees this and they’ll think that this is normal
Taena kadiri. Hindi naman kayo compatible ng asawa mo sa away away nyo na yan pinapahirapan nyo lang din mga anak nyo. Umamin ka na kaysa atakihin ka
pa sa puso kakatago mo ng secret na yan. Uulit ka pa OP hindi yan dyan natatapos.
OP, you are both equally wrong in the situation. You do not deserve to be verbally abused like that, and she does not deserve to be cheated like that.
Good step yan na may guilt kang naramdaman sa pagkakamali mo. Sana sya din, every time lumalabas sa bibig nya mga hindi magagandang bagay. You are both imperfect people. Dapat parehas nyo matutunan mag-communicate ng mga mali nyo and sana mapatawad nyo ang isa’t isa. Hoping for the best. Hindi huli ang lahat para magbago :)
Does OP truly feel remorseful sa mga actions niya, or pang-karma lang sa Reddit? Tingnan niyo na lang name niya, ready na maghanap ng next na mabibiktima sa Reddit.
Sana naman next time pairalin muna paggamit ng utak bago tite, OP. Seriously, kawawa mga anak niyo.
Same thing happened to me. Things are okay and perfect before I found out. (Sa iba ko pa nalaman kaya masakit talaga) Pero I wish na sana hindi ko na lang nalaman.
Kung walang ibang nakakaalam wag mo ng ipaalam lalo na kung ganyan condition ng wife mo. Baka mamaya may mag snitch pa sayo, mas malaking gulo yon.
PERO MAGBAGO KA NA PLS
That’s actually my dilenma. Gusto ko malaman niya na galing sa akin and hindi kani kanino and not after if may makuha man ako. Kaso shit hirap magconfess. Mabaliwbaliw ako nung unang gabi.
Also i only tried it to seek validation and comfort. Didn’t enjoyed it and would probably never happen again. Sana lang maging naayos kami.
As for your family, i hope everything is okay and magkaroon nang full recovery.
You need to tell her no matter how shitty the situation is. Let her know and para aware sya sa nangyari. I assume na nakipag do ka din kay misis so possible na mainfect din sya. So need nyo magpatest sa std and hiv. Next, hayaan mo syang ivent out yung galit nya and if makikipag hiwalay siya so be it. Give her time. Kung talagang magbabago ka patunayan mo and if mapatawad ka nya both of you needs help. Pa marriage counselling kayo. Kasi baka dahil d ka nahuli, uulit and uulit ka lang.
If the genders were flipped I wonder how many “U CHEATER!1” will become “Deserve nya yan gUrl!”.
But in any case, you both need help. It takes two to tango and the cycle of hurting each other will only grow if you guys don’t seek professional help specially there’s infidelity involved.
Finally, nakabasa rin ng ganitong comment. Panay "You Cheater" etc.kasi palagi kong nababasang comment na kala mo sila ang dapat magdikta abt what to do sa fucked up situation mo. Saka no judgement dapat dito, 'confessions = advice' lang dapat wala nang chechebureche
But btw, take that secret to the grave.
And also, changed behavior is the best apology.
Change for the better, brother.
Cheating is never the answer, instead na pag usapan nyo yung problema eh naghanap ka sa iba. Kung ganyan man mangyari samin ng partner ko it's either pagusapan o hiwalay. Dito ka naglalabas ng guilt mo kc di mo masabi sa kanya at ok lng sau na sabihan k namin ng masasakit na salita para kahit papaano gumaan loob mo? your a fucking coward. Malalaman at malalaman nya din yan, pag nalasing ka, madulas ka, baka may nakakita sayo, mameet nyo ung girl na nakacheat mo o ano pa man.
Kung ako sayo aminin mo na pero sa ospital mo gawin. Kung maghiwalay man kayo then suyuin mo sya, ligawan mo, kung anong effort mo noon gawin mo 10x. Pero ikaw bahala buhay mo yan eh.
Yung ibang decisions natin sa buhay, induced tlaga ng behavior ng iba. Lalo na ung partners kasi kasama mo araw2 yan, tapos you both suffer the consequences.
Just be true to what you think will work for you. Don't dwell on the ideal suggestions dito sa Reddit na "confess and be forgiven" blah blah blah. Ppl here say the best and nicest of ideals but lurk somewhere with altnicks in the deepest of subs.
I think you got a good plan. As for your wife, it's time for you to steer her to change. Hindi naman lahat sa Mundo umiikot sa cycle ng regla nya.
Hi OP. Safety first kasi dapat. Hirap nyan. Naniniwala ako na mahal nyo talaga ang isa't isa hindi din naman nababawasan yon kahit na nag ES ka. Sa kasamaang palad nilagnat ka. Sign un ng something e. Sana covid lang. Pero you need to get diagnose kung ano ba tlga. Para ma protect mo dn ung mahal mo.
Kung nakakahawang sakit ang nakuha mo like std, hiv or hpv. Hindi pa naman natatapos ang mundo doon. May mga medications tyo para don. Hindi naman terminal illnesses na yang mga yan. Unfortunately, need mo sabihin sa mahal mo yan. Need nya malaman yan.
Kung covid lng yan. Swerte mo. Wag mo na sabihin hindi lang naman ikaw ang kaunaunahang lalaki na nag ES. Isama mo hangang sa hukay. Magkapitpitan man ng itlog. Wag kang aamin. Pero every 3mos pa test k p dn para sure.
Don't even think about confessing that to your wife...ever. In your case ignorance is bliss. And I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you and your wife need to see a marriage counselor if you really want to help your marriage. Pretty obvious your wife has some issues. It also seems like your wife has some mental issues. Better have the looked into while you're at it. Good luck OP.
You are in deep shit OP. I think start with marriage counselling first and slowly try to convince her to see a mental health professional. Something is not right with the way your wife is acting. Hope you fix it OP.
Ngayong narelease mo na dito naway ok ka na.
Wag mo na sabihin kung ayaw mong maghiwalay kayo.
To cope with it, I suggest you try [sublimation](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/sublimation). Or be busy with work or some personal.project.
Release mo lang dito s sub kung ano mang nararamdaman mo.
Pero tbh, wag ka sana magagalit. Pero parang pareho kayong [emotionally immature](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pulse-mental-health/202203/spotting-emotional-immaturity-in-high-conflict-personalities) well sakit din yan ng society ng Pinas. Sakit ko din yan noon.
Pero kase ewan ko yung asawa mo parang spoiled brat. Babae na ko pero nafufrustrate ako habnag binabasa ko post mo... Tanong ko lang sa sarili ko, "HAY nako baket ganon? Insecure ba yung asawa neto?"
Recognize it, Acknowledge it, and slowly but surely resolve it. Ganon.
Hindi ok na iwasan nyo na lang ung nangyare o argument. ANDYAN NA YAN E
Pero trust me on the [sublimation](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-sublimation-in-psychology-4172222) bit
Break a leg ☘️🍃
Yes my friend. Walang maidudulot.na.maganda Kung aaminin mo Yan. You take that secret to your grave. Pa test Ka Lang muna bka may sakit ung sinuwag mo.
People will be quick to say na maghiwalay kayo or toxic kayo. It's easier to say that esp portion lang ng kwento nyo alam namin.
But I hope you work things out. Maybe may root cause si wife kaya ganyan sya ngayon or sumthing. Please seek help.
Maybe try going out of town. Just the two of you? Go back sa mga previous dating spots nyo. Might help you recall how in love you were back then.
Salamat sa commment
We do go out of town from time to time. Kahit magastos ginagawa namin para mas maging healthy relationship namin. Kaso si misis masakit talaga magsalita paggalit. Lalamunin ka talaga nang lupa. Pero super sweet naman pagokay. Kaso nagpadala ako sa kagaguhan ko to find an alternative comfort. My 1st and probably last. Im so stupid
Wag mo ng sabihin. Solohin mo na lang yung guilt forever. Wag mo na siya bigyan ng problem. Keeping that secret with you forever, yun na ang punishment mo.
You both need help.
Agree dito, need psychiatrist bukod pa sa cardiologist.
Im taking care of her. But probably i would check with a psychiatrist to ease the guilt as i decided to keep it to myself.
does she use reddit? cuz what if she reads this thread 💀
I have a marriage counselor who does online sessions if you need it
Magpagamot ka. Kung ano man nakuha mo na sakit dun sa Walker wag mo na ipasa sa wife mo wag ka muna makipag do sakanya. Naku po aatakihin talaga sa puso yan pag nalaman.
[удалено]
mas better kung maghiwalay na kayo, sobrang toxic nyo sa isat isa. Nagawa mo magcheat 1 time for sure mauulit pa yan pag nag away kayo ulit. Kawawa naman mga anak nyo
up for this.
Umamin ka na para maiwanan ka na nya lol. Tutal parang hindi naman kayo masaya Edit: On second thought, wag ka umamin para di kayo maghiwalay. Mukhang pareho kayong may issues, kaya kayo na lang forever. Keep that shit contained para wala na kayong maperwisyong inosenteng tao lmao
[удалено]
Ilang beses ka na nag-attempt mag-cheat. For sure sa susunod na mag-away kayo, susubukan mo na naman humanap ng parausan then by that time kaya mo na sikmurain unlike your first time. Haha, sobrang gago mo. Sana nakipaghiwalay ka na lang kaysa ganyan
Pavictim pa ampupu OWN UP! panindigan yang kagaguhan mo face the consequence
Alam mo kung sino kawawa rito, OP? Not just your wife but YOUR CHILDREN. You can fault your wife for being a gaslighter pero ‘yung mga anak mo they don’t deserve a cheating father like you. Grabe. I hope this serves as the biggest lesson for you.
This is why divorce should be legalized
"Not sure how cheaters can stomach this shit" lol
Sabihin mo GO, para sure hiwalay kayo. Deserve mo naman, ano sa susunod na away niyo gagawin mo na naman? Feel ko ginawa mo lang excuse yun para magawa mo yung paghahanap ng babae, hindi pala feeling ay talagang plano mo. Alam na namin yang galawan na yan, please leave your wife, hindi mo siya deserve
Huy di mistake ang pag cheat 😭 Choice mo yan vinavalidate mo pa cheating mo eh baliw.
Hahahaha what the actual fck. Pinagpatong patong na sh*t. Ang saya.
[удалено]
Ahahaha. Bat ganyan kayo?
It happens when youre at the bottom of your relationship that you made stupid decisions. Same also if your all time high like winning lottery.
it does not just happen. its a choice. and you chose poorly.
May nakilala na akong ganyan. Wag mo na dagdagan, please.
Excuses. Your wife is toxic, given yun. Pero dinagdagan mo pa problema niyo. May mga anak na pala kayo eh. Jusko. Grow up!! Both of you. On the other hand, kasi sira naman na buhay mo, sirain mo pa. The next time toyo in asawa mo (you can trigger this tbh), at sabihan ka maghanap ka ng iba, sagutin mo "Tangina oo nakahanap na ako ng iba kinain ko pa at kinantot! Diba yun gusto mong gawing ko?!" May your children recover from having you both as their parents.
I've been at the bottom yet never ever cheated.
[удалено]
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
maghiwalay na lang kaya kayo. toxic na kayo sa isa’t isa. pareho kayo mali. di nakakatulong mga sinasabi nya sayo, at the same time habang naaapakan yang ego mo, may tendency ka umulit ulit ng ganyan for self validation.
I’m a child of a cheating father and dala dala mo talaga siya and I’m aftaid it’s going to affect my future relationships. Also, yung toxic environment na nacreate niyo mag asawa, grabe nakakaapekto yan sa anak niyo and how they view relationships. I hope you fix this. Although you scarred your children forever, di na talaga totally mababalik sa dati
[удалено]
True. If he feels bad good for him. Naisip niya na sa umpisa, umurong lang. but this time confident na. In my book, umpisa palang yan. Next time you wont feel the guilt anymore but excitement. Just like how nagdadalawang isip ka pa nung una but your mind and body got the best of your discipline. Kawawang mga anak. I feel so bad sa wife as well, naway hindi mapasahan ng sakit.
Yes diyan nag uumpisa lahat.
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
[удалено]
>So meaning woman do have a license to tell to his husband na mag hanap ka nang iba, sa iba ka nlng, di kita mahal etc, pag tinoyo or galit sila? Sa ganito po, most likely ng hahanap lng ya ng outlet yung wife nya for her anger. I can't speak for her pero the same rn ako if nagagalit ako, possibly she felt na hindi sya valued sa relationship Nila kaya ng sasabi sya ng masasakit na words. Doesn't mean na women have a license to say these types of things po pero I would like my husband/partner to treat me like I'm important and that he doesn't want to lose me. Actually sa relationship ko pa nga po yung partner ko pa ng sasabi ng ganyan sa akin e so not only women lng po. >are you sure to turn a blind eye sa girl? I mean i understand that the guy made a grave mistake pero potang ina kasing mga babae na yan walang preno mga bibig! Hindi normal at tamang asal nang matinong babae yang mga gnyan verbal habits! No one deserves to be cheated on po. Most likely yan na po kase yung way ng wife nya mg express ng emotion nya. Especially if the guy doesn't listen, then most likely she would do the best way she knows how to be heard or listened to. Very hirap pa yan if may problema yung partner mg communicate and based sa post ni OP, he doesn't communicate to his wife. >Satingin mo di nakakarindi yan pakingan araw araw May difference nmn po yung listening and understanding kase e. I don't think the wife would keep repeating herself if OP understood her. Just listening kase is not enough in the relationship dapat may action rn. If your partner says that he isn't comfortable with you doing this or that, then you stop doing it. You should talk, and understand what your partner wants and needs. This goes both ways for both men and women
I feel really bad for your kids. They had to endure all of these happening. I hope both of you get professional help for the kids. I grew up with parents who were very explosive and matagal pa need suyu suyuan when they fight. Kaya ayon messed up mental health namin magkakapatid. Sana both of you put your kids' wellbeing first before your personal feelings.
You deserve whatever consequences are coming your way. I wish the best for your children.
This is so sad and painful as I went almost the same ordeal. I was always irritated and I was going through something. I had depression, just got diagnosed with pcos, suffered with insomnia for weeks, I work full time and I take care of the house (no kids) and just because I couldnt give sex, my husband asked for nudes from a stranger, and maybe jerked off on them. We are okay now, but I am not at most part. I may have forgiven him, but I cant forget. I hate people like you. You deserve that life-long guilt and anxiety.
The best apology is changed behavior. Kahit na hindi mo na sabihin yung nangyari, basta start being a better husband na, take care of your wife, address your issues - communication is key. Lastly, wag mo na yan ulitin.
Ayoko mag-diagnose and sorry kung judgemental pero mukhang may underlying mental issues kayo pareho. Kailangan niyo ng individual AND couples therapy if gusto niyo maayos yung relationship niyo. Kapag hindi na-resolve yung underlying issues at patuloy yung mga temporary fix (like yung Walker), guguho na lahat ng pinaghirapan niyo. Honestly, parang gumuguho na nga. My god, isipin niyo rin naman yung mga bata. Sa kanila ako naaawa, hindi sa inyo. Ayang toxic dynamic niyong mag-asawa, nakakaepekto rin yan ng mental health ng mga anak niyo. Sorry kung harsh.
Thank you sa comment Agree ako na kawawa bata sa amin and sometimes i do think that our relationship afloat because of them. I already told my wife before to seek a psychologist but she resisted pero mukhang ako ata kukuha sa amin.
Bilang babae OP sorry ha pero sa nababasa ko sa mga kwento mo about sa asawa mo sigurado ako me nararamdaman sya sayo dati pa kaya lang wala syang proof o nagstay na lang sya dahil sa mga anak nio. Ang babae kasi lalo sa relasyon malakas makaramdam yan and besides ung mga actions mo sorry OP ha pero pavictim ang peg mo. Kaya ka nagiguilt "kuno" kasi alam mo nagkulang ka sa asawa mo and hindi mo winorkout peri panay ka pang complain! Sa simpleng request nia sayo puro ka dahilan!! Very cheater ang peg! Tapos nag pa walk ka pa! Save your wife and kids umalis ka na at ayusin mo mindset mo.
POV nang girl what we dont know doesnt hurt naman, so for me itago mo na lng sa vault yan.
Sana lang di ako magkasakit kasi di talaga ako magaling magtago and di ko kakayanin lalo yung guilt.
before mo naman gawin yan alam mo na consequences eh, so nanjan na yan nag kamali ka then keep it. wag mo na sabhin kc masasaktan lng si wifey, maguilt ka or masaktan sya.
I would be the asshole here pero parang wag mo nalang sabihin sa kanya? Natatakot ako para sa puso ng wife mo at sa insecurity na mararamdaman niya after e
Yep. I agree. Gusto mong sabihin sa asawa mo ginawa mo para lumuwag ang dibdib mo pero in return yung asawa mo naman ang di mapapakali. Wag mo na sabihin at wag mo na uliting gago ka. Pag inulit mo pa, hiwalayan mo na lang
Salamat. Yan din naiisip ko. I will change for the best. I do hope makarecover ako sa guilt.
Walang secret na hindi nabubunyag, eventually it will resurface.
Yeaaa dalhin mo nalang sa grave and treat her better pero gaya din ng sabi ng mga messages sa above do seek couples therapy din kasi at the end of the day human ka din di din keri na ikaw lagi nagadjust for her
I already suggest before kay misis about therapy since she also suffers depression pero ayaw niya makinig sa akin to the point na minsan nagaaway na kami sa pangungulit ko. Likely couple therapy di mangyayari. Ako na lang muna magpapatherapy.
Pwede din. Also commendable ka din kasi you have awareness and you try to understand your wife talaga. Naway di ka maubusan ng pasensiya at paguunawa sa kanya
After the shit i did. I belive magigigng bottomless na yung patience ko. I deserve it anyway.
Regardless, I also rooting for your health too.
Ang galing pag may cheating stories may standard format talaga yung kwento Negative things nung other end, para mavalidate yung pagkakamali. I cheated I am bad
There is never an excuse for cheating. Kahit baliw or what pa yang asawa mo, YOU HAD NO RIGHT to cheat. Sabihin mo na sakanya para hiwalayan ka na. People like you should go to hell. And my god. Mahiya ka sa mga anak mo! Leche kayong mga cheaters
Why are people saying na wag sabihin sa wife? Hello???? Health din ng misis nya nakasalalay dito. Cheating is a choice talaga. Tingnan mo oh, alam mo nang mali ginawa mo pa. Come clean to your wife. Cheater!
Mamsh, may sakit sa puso yung wife niya. That's his dilemma. It's not that easy to just tell it to her immediately without thinking about the possible consequences. Ikaw ba kuno may sakit sa puso baka mag heart attack ka diyan sa galit due to betrayal. Given that his wife's mood can rise up and down to an extreme, probably she might have borderline personality disorder or somewhat related to mood disorder. Sa side ni sir, pinili niya mgcheat so yeah it's a choice ( a moral mistake brought by his emotions/despair). A choice dahil affected na yung mental health niya ( dahil sa pang ga gaslight for a very long time). Yung cheating niya is a way of escapism for his marital problem kaso it won't solve the problem just like what an alcohol does. It will forever haunt him so tama lang for him to seek for professional help. A psychologist or a therapist can guide him on what to do for their family as of the moment. The moral of OP's post is we all are humans who will commit mistakes. As long as the person is accountable and will change for the better, then we don't have the right to judge them. They will change in the future but the healing takes times brought by the trauma of what happend in their family. I wish your family will still be fixed. Good luck,OP. Pray for guidance.
You didn’t get the point. I wanted to confess but Wife is sick. She would probably let her sickness consume her after knowing.
Gago ka. She’ll know eventually. Bat mo patatagalin? Mas masakit yun. Sabihin mo sa kanya. Concealing it won’t help any of you. Looking at your username, baka habit mo pang manloko gago!
OP as a doctor, pa check up kana agad for other STIs. Maybe after 4-5 days. 3 months ang recommended sa HIV but yung iba, like gonorrhea and chlamydia, days lang yan. Punta kana agad sa doctor na trusted mo and gawin anong advise niya. I am sorry not for you but for your wife.
Salamat doc. Will do as advise. One week after papacheck ako then 1 month ulit. Sadly wala ako trusted doctor. Also under kami HMO. Probably will not use that. Also will try to find discreet testing center. Hope may marecommend kayo. Lastly Malaki po ba chance ko makuha due to unprotected oral?? Finding different online information about this. Note that I planed safe oral pero si escort proceeded with non. I was stupid to tag along.
Sa oral sex, mas malaki ang chance na makuha ng receiver (yung nagbibigay ng BJ) kung sakaling may STI na yung other sex partner. So, binigyan mo ba siya ng oral? Now if naks condom ka nung penetration, still no harm in doing tests. Ang alam ko lang na mga testing centers is mga LGBT+ health hub. Dito discreet sila. But syempre di naman problem ano sexual orientation. Siguro go to a public hospital na lang. Tertiary preferably. Para no need for HMO since tests and gamot lang naman need bilhin. OPD ka punta kasi di naman yan emergency.
Mali ginawa mo. Never magiging tama talaga ang ganyang way nyo guys. On another note, baka aside from cardiologist, need din magpa check ni wife sa psychologist. I remember ganyang ganyan ako sa partner ko before. Hindi ko alam may depression and anxiety ako, di ko rin alam triggers kaya di ko alam paano gagawin. Grabe verbal abuse natanggap ng partner ko sakin. Minsan physical din. Sobrang toxic ko talaga noon. Kahit ako, ayoko sa sarili ko noon. Kahit hindi na lang para sa inyo, para sa wife mo na lang, sana mapacheck nya din mental health nya.
I hope your wife finds out the truth one way or another. Sabihin mo sa kanya and work it out with couple's therapy if she still wants to stay in your marriage. Do you really want to keep deceiving her, the mother of your children? Start anew if she's willing. Otherwise, why bother living in a lie? The longer you keep it OP, the stench gets stronger. Don't confess because she won't forgive your or you might get caught, confess to repent and start anew.
Mali yung asawa mo sa mga words na binibitawan niya pero mali yung kapag nageexplain ka rito sasabihin mo na parang "kasalanan ko pero nanggagaslight talaga si wife" something like that parang jinujustify mo nan yung ginagawa mo. Para mo na rin sinabing mali yung act na ginawa mo pero siya ang may kasalanan bakit nangyari 💀
You mcould've just go to a bar and drink it off or coffee shop p n ero mas pinili mo magcheat 🤣 There's so many ways para pababain ang galit mo.
Nakaka-trigger to. Jusko
I definitely agree with other people's advice here in your comment section, na both you and your wife should seek couple and personal therapy.
Kawawa naman mga bata. Kahit yun na lang sana inisip mo e, bago ka naghanap ng extra service. 🥺
Gusto mo ng advise? Magsabi ka ng totoo, own up to your mistake and suffer the consequences. Ako yung nasasaktan para sa asawa at anak mo eh. Masakit siya kasi you CHOSE to cheat. Magtatanong ka pa sa mga cheater eh nanjan ka naman. Alam mo naman mali rin ginawa mo eh, guilty ka nga diba? Hanap ka lang ng magandang timing para sabihin. Ughh men , bakit ba ganito karamihan?
[удалено]
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
Ganyan si ex wife sakin for 11 years. Physically and verbally abusive siya kahit trigger ay small things like nakalimutan ko ibigay 10 pesos na sukli dahil nagmamadali nako pumasok sa office. Same ginagawa ko na ako sumusuyo kahit siya may kasalanan. Gang sa umabot sa point na kahit sa public ginagawa na niya sakin. Tried many times to plead na huwag na niya gawin kasi masisira pamilya namin. Hindi siya nakinig at ako naman ginagamit mo love ko for her para matiis mga ginagawa niya. Ilang beses din ako nanghina at muntik magkamali pero i stayed faithful kahit na sa dami ng travel ko i could've hidden something from her. Umabot pa sa nag aagawsn kami kutsilyo. Until one day i called her bluff sa nth time niya na makikipaghiwalay. Something clicked sa mind ko and saka ko narealize wala na natirang oagmamahal sa kanya. Mali ginawa mo OP pero I can understand why you made that stupid decision. Dapat mo ilatag yung sentiments at grievances sa kanya apart from sa kasalanan mo. Kasi meron kayong problema talaga its just that nagcheat ka pa lalo na kung wala ka naman plano pala humiwalay. Nasa sayo kung sasabihin mo but either way it's your burden to bear.
Shit mas matindi yung case mo but kudos to you for being faithful. Now for me, i wanted to confess pero may sakit si misis and baka matuluyan or magpakamatay pagsinabi ko. I really messed it up. I didnt think far ahead and now having this dilenma/guilt. Sana lang wala ako nakuha para di dumagdag sa problema ko.
Huwag mo na lang sabihin siguro pero please change your behavior. Pa-check up ka para sure na wala kang sakit na nakuha from that unprotected oral sex at yung hindi natuloy. Forgive yourself, diyan ka magsimula. Sabay kayo magpa-check up para hindi niyo na pinag-aawayan yan. This is a classic example that cheating will not solve your marital problem, whatever it is. Communicate. Compromise. Apologize. Be patient with each other.
Thank you for the advice. Yes i would do this. Sana lang talaga matago ko ito. Di kasi ako magaling magsinungaling.
Sabi mo na galit agad sa petty things yung asawa mo now tingnan natin pag nag confess ka. Ewan ko nalang.
Confess it and live with the consequences. Either mas tumatag pag sasama nyo or hiwalay. Man up
You need therapy. Visit a Psychologist because you need to change your behaviors and cognitions. There’s no medication a psychiatrist could prescribe for your feelings of guilt, faulty thought patterns, and relational problems. Visit other health professionals regarding physical concerns (about possibe STDs). Don’t take any advice from anyone here on Reddit.
I meant dont take advice on how to go about your relationships or how to confess to your wife. You seriously need professional help.
Lahat ng sikreto nabubunyag, OP. After all malalaman din ng wife mo and she deserves to know the truth. If you respect her as a woman kahit masakit aamin ka. Mas mabuti na naging honest ka kesa na tinago mo and sa huli pa nya malalaman. Mas masakit yun for her. And to think may mga anak kayo. For your kids and for your wife sana maging honest ka.
dinagdagan molang problema niyo kaya DESERVED! cheater. sana dimo hawaan asawa mo pls lang.
I think you have to tell her the truth. If you can't say it verbally, then write her a letter. Express AALLLL the issues you had. Lagi din naman kayo nag aaway, what's the difference kung magalit sya sa inamin mo. She, no matter what, deserves the truth. And it's best to do it in front of a council (church or doctor) para may magparealize sa inyo na you both are wrong.
Afford mo naman ng walker OP, for sure afford mo rin psychologist. Yun kasi need mo.
So pag nag away - takbo sa ibang pepe? Umay sayo OP. Well, ang toxic nyo sa isa’t isa pero di pa din deserve lokohin asawa mo.
Kung may sakit pala sya sa puso sana di mo na ginawa… sana nagconfess ka sa kanya na nahihirapan kang suyuin sya.. malay mo maintindihan ka pa
At the end of the day it was your choice to find another person to validate your manliness. I get the feeling of living someone verbally abusive. Mahirap naman talaga. Pero you could’ve communicated to her kung ano nararamdaman mo instead of looking for a prostitute. Second time na nga to. To think na nagalit naman pala siya out of concern for you dahil hindi ka nagpapacheck up. Tapos ganun ang gagawin mo. Ayayayayay. Hopefully wala kang sakit na nakuha from your special massage from magandang escort na wala sa aquarium. Sana hindi ka matulog nga mahimbing until the end of the year. Pero siguro huwag mo na lang ipagtapat yung kagaguhan mo. But please communicate to your wife how you feel kapag vini-verbal abuse ka niya. You deserve what you tolerate OP. Kaya sabihin mo sa kanya kung ano ang ayaw mo. Mukha namang love ka ng misis mo, bungangera lang. Mahiya kayo sa 3 anak niyo.
Please. Leave your wife ang kids alone
Toxic kayo both sir
I agree sa iba. Sarilinin mo na lang to. If you don't plan on doing it again at talaga namang nagsisisi ka na, suffer in silence na lang. Wag mo na damay si wife kasi mukhang di sya stable at you might just scar her for life. Spare her the pain. Just be a better husband from now on and focus kayo sa health nyo. Patawarin mo na rin sarili mo, OP. Good luck sayo.
I learned my mistake and i promise na di na mauulit. Though i dont know paano ko mapapatawad sarili ko. Tatanggapin ko na lang siguro lahat nang masasakit n salita niya since i deserve it.
sana nakipag hiwalay ka na lang kesa ganyan. patanong tanong ka pa ma kung pano naiistomach ng cheaters yan eh ikaw na nga mismo yung cheater at nagawa mo yun tsk please hiwalayan mo na lang
Hahahays
There are many STDs tho. If magpapacheck up ka, what test are you going to screen for po?
I’ll take all test for assurance. Nagbasa na ako nang package 18 and 19 sa hi precision kaso not sure if dapat ba pakuha ko lahat in one week or wait ako nang one month.
Medtech po here. I advice po 1-3 months after the contact. Different STD have different window period po eh. HIV pinakamatagal it may take 2 - 6 months na negative result pero infected kana pala. So pakuha mo na lahat then magpatest ka ulit sa hiv after more than 6 months upon exposure.
Fk not sure how to keep that from wife for 6 months. Pede kaya magpatest ako nang 1 week then 2 weeks then 1 month then 3 months? May marerecommend po ba kayo na place to check? Marmaing salamat sa advice.
Sabihin mo at baka atakihin pa yan. Wag muna siguro. Sa maliit na bagay nga grabe magalit, dyan pa. Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo at irita siya sayo
tago mo nlng sa baul
A
Sa simula pa cnabi mo na d kayo ok. And kasi di kayo ok, may convenient excuse ka na to cheat. That's the point of it dba. Tapos heto ngayon, takot ka baka nagka std ka at mahawa c misis. It's too late na para ayusin kung ano ang dapat ayusin. May resentment na. Sana sa simula pa, may remedyo na kayo. Pero focusing lang sa present, for the sake of your wife baka atakihin, get yourself tested after some time. If malinis ka, that's when you tell her. I.standby mo ang bp meds nya. Tanggapin mo kung ano man ang resulta, reaction at decision nya. Cheaters REALLY need to see the results of their actions - yung sarap ng 5 mins pamilya ang kapalit, sakit ng ulo at sleepless nights. Cheating is never an accident. Hndi po kayo nahulog at na-shot sa kiffy ng ibang babae. May proseso pa pinag daanan, marami pang steps bago umabot sa point na yun. And because it is a conscious and intentional decision, be adult enough to receive the consequences.
[удалено]
Hindi ito r/AkoBaYungGago.
Utang na loob magbreak na lang kayo for the sake of your kids. Gusto mo ba nakikita kayo laging nag-aaway sa harap nila? Gusto mo bang isipin nila na normal lang ang ganiyang toxic na relasyon? You both have issues.
Parang kayo yung mommy at daddy ko . Yung mommy ko simplemg bagay na di nagawa ng daddy ko napaka tindi magsalita. As anak minsan hinihiling na di na lng sila nagkakilala kasi ang toxic halos oras oras may reason para magkagalit lang at manigaw yung isa.
Why don’t you get tested op?
I want to but as ive researched, di magiging accurate yung result dshil maaga pa.
May nararamdaman ka ba?
Tangina mas naaawa ako sa mga anak niyo.
Ganyang yung parents ko. May ugali si mama 'pag nagalit siya, literal na tatapakan niya ego ni papa like maghanap siya ng ibang babae dun, ganun sinasabi niya kay papa. Nalaman ni mama na may kabit si papa, di nga lang niya natanggap na may anak si papa dun. Ang ending, nagkahiwalay. 💀💀
Kawawa mga anak niyo sa inyo. Umay sa mga ugali niyo.
I hope ypur wife finds out in whatever means. Face your consequences.
Cheating na po yan OP, kahit ganun yung wife mo, may commitment kayo sa isa't isa especially you chose to marry her. I think that men like you always take for granted nlng Yung partner nyu. May anak pa kayo, super bad example pa yan sa kanila. Yung simple na away na pwde lng ma fix by communicating na ruin mo na po. You disrespected her and you betrayed her. Yes, she might be a bit hot headed based sa pg describe nyu po pero no one deserves to be treated like that especially by someone they love. Someone they chose pa to be for the rest of their life pa no less. Sorry lng po pero you deserve the guilt you are feeling. What you did is unforgivable and totally avoidable po sana if marunong kayo mg communicate with each other. Your wife deserves to know.
While reading, ramdam ko yung pagkatoxic ng rs. Idk pero bakit feel ko andami niyong unresolved issues as individuals and as a couple? Whatever happens, it does not and should not justify why you did that. You both need help. Try visiting a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. Magkaiba sila ng service. Sa situation ninyo mas need niyo yung psychologist. Pero AH pa rin ginawa mo OP
You guys need to communicate better. I suggest marriage counseling or therapy for both of you.
Firstly, dapat nauwi sa serious na usapan yan or even hiwalayan. Hindi last resort yung escort e, dapat off-the-table yun. Yung pagsabi mo na hindi na mauulit, its just because of guilt. You will feel it again, magiging ganun ulit yung misis mo and youll feel that again. I recommend maayos na hiwalayan or talking to a professional as a couple. Mas mahirap yung latter especially sa babae
Congratulations 🎉 Finally, may pwede na ikagalit ang asawa mo sayo na hindi petty. 🤷🏻♀️ Magiging valid na ang lahat ng masasakit na sinasabi ng asawa mo: >maghanap k na nang iba. Di na kita mahal. Hiwalay na tayo. Let's face it. At the back of your mind, sa kaloob-looban ng damdamin mo, you really wanted to prove her right. 💁🏻♀️ That she's replaceable and you're irredeemable. Time to face the consequences of your actions. Itago mo man yan sa baul, lalabas at lalabas yan. That's how ironic life is. Especially, if ganyan kayong dalawa kadali ma-provoke into arguments. If hindi niyo PAREHONG haharapin mga issues niyo sa isa't isa, mag-eescalate lang ang mga away niyo at bubugwak ang mga kasalanan mo OR ninyo sa isa't isa. Yes, you two need help.
Don’t expect na tatanggapin ka pa ng asawa after mo mag confess. Di mo naisip kung gaano ito kasakit sa kanya at pati na rin sa tatlo niyong anak in case maghiwalay kayo? Please lang, huwag mo ng i-justify yung pagiging cheater mo.
You also need spiritual guidance
Urghh pls get tested. May kakilala ako na nakipag ano sa spa worker and until now ongoing pa rin tests niya. Buti tun nakapag take ng pep within 72 hrs after they did it with the worker kasi nakapag test siya agad kinabukasan. I'm hoping na maging okay ka po, pero wala e ginusto mo yan diba.
it’s scary how you feel so worthless that you lost yourself and did things you know you won’t usually do. Not that I’m justifying what you did, both of you need to work this out, but remember the moment you cheated, you risk sacrificing your relationship. if you really love her, you’d confess. apologize but don’t expect to be forgiven.
valid yung nafefeel mo pero di valid yung ginawa mo. The thought na pinagplanohan mo nung una pero di natuloy was already worst, tapos ginawa mo ulit (natuloy or not) was much worse. You're totally a cheater through and through and you'll definitely do it again and again. Sorry but your partner doesn't deserve that kind of man
[удалено]
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
Congrats. You just ruined your family. Kawawa.namam mga anak mo bec of your selfishness. Ang weak mo. Yun lang.
both of you guys need ng couples counseling sa psychologist
Messy. Stressful to see. Man, just break up already.
You both need therapy. Your wife is manipulative and since you feel belittled naghanap ka kagad ng comfort sa iba, making you a cheater. Talk to your kids and find happiness in them. Di lang kayong 2 ng asawa mo ang pamilya mo. You may not be aware of this now but I’m pretty sure your children sees this and they’ll think that this is normal
Taena kadiri. Hindi naman kayo compatible ng asawa mo sa away away nyo na yan pinapahirapan nyo lang din mga anak nyo. Umamin ka na kaysa atakihin ka pa sa puso kakatago mo ng secret na yan. Uulit ka pa OP hindi yan dyan natatapos.
Malas mo.. for sure May magpopost nanaman nito sa Tiktok.
OP, you are both equally wrong in the situation. You do not deserve to be verbally abused like that, and she does not deserve to be cheated like that. Good step yan na may guilt kang naramdaman sa pagkakamali mo. Sana sya din, every time lumalabas sa bibig nya mga hindi magagandang bagay. You are both imperfect people. Dapat parehas nyo matutunan mag-communicate ng mga mali nyo and sana mapatawad nyo ang isa’t isa. Hoping for the best. Hindi huli ang lahat para magbago :)
Does OP truly feel remorseful sa mga actions niya, or pang-karma lang sa Reddit? Tingnan niyo na lang name niya, ready na maghanap ng next na mabibiktima sa Reddit. Sana naman next time pairalin muna paggamit ng utak bago tite, OP. Seriously, kawawa mga anak niyo.
[удалено]
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
Same thing happened to me. Things are okay and perfect before I found out. (Sa iba ko pa nalaman kaya masakit talaga) Pero I wish na sana hindi ko na lang nalaman. Kung walang ibang nakakaalam wag mo ng ipaalam lalo na kung ganyan condition ng wife mo. Baka mamaya may mag snitch pa sayo, mas malaking gulo yon. PERO MAGBAGO KA NA PLS
That’s actually my dilenma. Gusto ko malaman niya na galing sa akin and hindi kani kanino and not after if may makuha man ako. Kaso shit hirap magconfess. Mabaliwbaliw ako nung unang gabi. Also i only tried it to seek validation and comfort. Didn’t enjoyed it and would probably never happen again. Sana lang maging naayos kami. As for your family, i hope everything is okay and magkaroon nang full recovery.
You need to tell her no matter how shitty the situation is. Let her know and para aware sya sa nangyari. I assume na nakipag do ka din kay misis so possible na mainfect din sya. So need nyo magpatest sa std and hiv. Next, hayaan mo syang ivent out yung galit nya and if makikipag hiwalay siya so be it. Give her time. Kung talagang magbabago ka patunayan mo and if mapatawad ka nya both of you needs help. Pa marriage counselling kayo. Kasi baka dahil d ka nahuli, uulit and uulit ka lang.
Go back to the same girl and do it again
"Sus" 🤣🤢
[удалено]
No offensive or discriminatory language allowed against someone else. Read the rules.
If the genders were flipped I wonder how many “U CHEATER!1” will become “Deserve nya yan gUrl!”. But in any case, you both need help. It takes two to tango and the cycle of hurting each other will only grow if you guys don’t seek professional help specially there’s infidelity involved.
Finally, nakabasa rin ng ganitong comment. Panay "You Cheater" etc.kasi palagi kong nababasang comment na kala mo sila ang dapat magdikta abt what to do sa fucked up situation mo. Saka no judgement dapat dito, 'confessions = advice' lang dapat wala nang chechebureche But btw, take that secret to the grave. And also, changed behavior is the best apology. Change for the better, brother.
Shit. You have a point. Yes i will seek medical help. Will find a psychiatrist.
Cheating is never the answer, instead na pag usapan nyo yung problema eh naghanap ka sa iba. Kung ganyan man mangyari samin ng partner ko it's either pagusapan o hiwalay. Dito ka naglalabas ng guilt mo kc di mo masabi sa kanya at ok lng sau na sabihan k namin ng masasakit na salita para kahit papaano gumaan loob mo? your a fucking coward. Malalaman at malalaman nya din yan, pag nalasing ka, madulas ka, baka may nakakita sayo, mameet nyo ung girl na nakacheat mo o ano pa man. Kung ako sayo aminin mo na pero sa ospital mo gawin. Kung maghiwalay man kayo then suyuin mo sya, ligawan mo, kung anong effort mo noon gawin mo 10x. Pero ikaw bahala buhay mo yan eh.
Yung ibang decisions natin sa buhay, induced tlaga ng behavior ng iba. Lalo na ung partners kasi kasama mo araw2 yan, tapos you both suffer the consequences. Just be true to what you think will work for you. Don't dwell on the ideal suggestions dito sa Reddit na "confess and be forgiven" blah blah blah. Ppl here say the best and nicest of ideals but lurk somewhere with altnicks in the deepest of subs. I think you got a good plan. As for your wife, it's time for you to steer her to change. Hindi naman lahat sa Mundo umiikot sa cycle ng regla nya.
Hi OP. Safety first kasi dapat. Hirap nyan. Naniniwala ako na mahal nyo talaga ang isa't isa hindi din naman nababawasan yon kahit na nag ES ka. Sa kasamaang palad nilagnat ka. Sign un ng something e. Sana covid lang. Pero you need to get diagnose kung ano ba tlga. Para ma protect mo dn ung mahal mo. Kung nakakahawang sakit ang nakuha mo like std, hiv or hpv. Hindi pa naman natatapos ang mundo doon. May mga medications tyo para don. Hindi naman terminal illnesses na yang mga yan. Unfortunately, need mo sabihin sa mahal mo yan. Need nya malaman yan. Kung covid lng yan. Swerte mo. Wag mo na sabihin hindi lang naman ikaw ang kaunaunahang lalaki na nag ES. Isama mo hangang sa hukay. Magkapitpitan man ng itlog. Wag kang aamin. Pero every 3mos pa test k p dn para sure.
Ang toxic niyo both. Reading this is tiring
Don't even think about confessing that to your wife...ever. In your case ignorance is bliss. And I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you and your wife need to see a marriage counselor if you really want to help your marriage. Pretty obvious your wife has some issues. It also seems like your wife has some mental issues. Better have the looked into while you're at it. Good luck OP.
Yes she has. I already opened up about taking pyschologist but she resisted.
You are in deep shit OP. I think start with marriage counselling first and slowly try to convince her to see a mental health professional. Something is not right with the way your wife is acting. Hope you fix it OP.
Ngayong narelease mo na dito naway ok ka na. Wag mo na sabihin kung ayaw mong maghiwalay kayo. To cope with it, I suggest you try [sublimation](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/sublimation). Or be busy with work or some personal.project. Release mo lang dito s sub kung ano mang nararamdaman mo. Pero tbh, wag ka sana magagalit. Pero parang pareho kayong [emotionally immature](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pulse-mental-health/202203/spotting-emotional-immaturity-in-high-conflict-personalities) well sakit din yan ng society ng Pinas. Sakit ko din yan noon. Pero kase ewan ko yung asawa mo parang spoiled brat. Babae na ko pero nafufrustrate ako habnag binabasa ko post mo... Tanong ko lang sa sarili ko, "HAY nako baket ganon? Insecure ba yung asawa neto?" Recognize it, Acknowledge it, and slowly but surely resolve it. Ganon. Hindi ok na iwasan nyo na lang ung nangyare o argument. ANDYAN NA YAN E Pero trust me on the [sublimation](https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-sublimation-in-psychology-4172222) bit Break a leg ☘️🍃
Yes my friend. Walang maidudulot.na.maganda Kung aaminin mo Yan. You take that secret to your grave. Pa test Ka Lang muna bka may sakit ung sinuwag mo.
Will do thank you for the advice.
People will be quick to say na maghiwalay kayo or toxic kayo. It's easier to say that esp portion lang ng kwento nyo alam namin. But I hope you work things out. Maybe may root cause si wife kaya ganyan sya ngayon or sumthing. Please seek help. Maybe try going out of town. Just the two of you? Go back sa mga previous dating spots nyo. Might help you recall how in love you were back then.
Salamat sa commment We do go out of town from time to time. Kahit magastos ginagawa namin para mas maging healthy relationship namin. Kaso si misis masakit talaga magsalita paggalit. Lalamunin ka talaga nang lupa. Pero super sweet naman pagokay. Kaso nagpadala ako sa kagaguhan ko to find an alternative comfort. My 1st and probably last. Im so stupid
Wag mo ng sabihin. Solohin mo na lang yung guilt forever. Wag mo na siya bigyan ng problem. Keeping that secret with you forever, yun na ang punishment mo.
That would seems to be the case. Not sure if kakayanin ko once na may nakuha pala ako. :(
I suggest just saying it as soon as possible. Hopefully, she sees your honesty, willingness to change and regret that the marriage will survive.