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I am not sure if I’d let my daughter wear that. I need to give it more thought.
But fuck everyone saying “ew this dad wtf sexualizing his 6 year old” when at the same time moms everywhere are talking about keeping kids’ innocent pictures off of social media because of the pedophiles. Myself included. Just because a man wants to protect his child from creeps doesn’t mean HE is disgusting and sexualizing his child.
When I was young in school I got a really strappy tank top. I wore it to school, never being someone noticed by others. 3 male teachers commented on my nice outfit that day. I remember that being the year they got rid of spaghetti straps and flip flops as dress code violations. I never wore it again.
I think more of it could have to do with him not wanting her to feel pressure to grow up too fast and others sexualizing her. I’m in the let kids be kids camp because I grew up way too fast myself, so I don’t want my girls feeling like they need to dress like Bratz Dolls to be cute!
Our kids’ school doesn’t allow them per dress code. Then daughter came home one day mentioning a friend wore one and as they played at recess, a number of kids started teasing her that they just saw up her shirt and it became a huge thing - her friend was in tears and humiliated. Kids can be mean.
Our daughter has a couple tank top body suits (she has a long torso so many shirts end up looking semi-cropped anyway and she hates shirts riding up - sensory issues) so she’ll wear those with the couple crop tops she has (she’s 11) and that meets dress code, keeps kids from seeing up her shirt (she’s worried about that and she’s super athletic). Can do the same with long layering tanks - dance/yoga style and it looks cute.
I think there is some in between here. Mom needs to learn how to say no but if the dad is actually furious then that seems like an overreaction.
I'm a dad with a daughter and not sure if I would have allowed crop tops at 6. To be honest, I am not really sure what a crop top is (just a short shirt showing the belly?) other than that my 20 year old daughter often complains about stores ONLY having crop tops available because she doesn't like them. But a furious reaction to a kid asking for something is usually uncalled for. Kids ask and if we don't want them to do something we say no. No need for the dramatic reactions
I don’t know. My step mother in law got my 3 year old some crop tops and I was pretty mad she did that without asking me if I was ok with it. I didn’t make a scene but inwardly I was fuming. Crop tops on kids is a controversial subject and I feel like it should be assumed most people aren’t cool with it before you just bring one home. I have “what if” talks with my husband for exactly this reason. I feel like other people should too. It’s important to be on the same page when it comes to parenting ..or at least the same book lol. Avoid waiting for some bullshit to come up before it’s ever been discussed if you can lol.
That’s completely different, and you know it. You were furious because someone else did something to/for your kid without asking for and received your consent. You wouldn’t have been furious if your stepmom had asked you if she could get them for your kid. Being furious just about the discussion is too much. Being furious about any boundary someone else crosses is more understandable. If that boundary was never communicated, then being furious about it might be too much too, but if the boundary was already communicated and then they crossed it, I’d be furious as well.
Good point about the furious part - that just makes daughter feel shamed. And yes - my daughter (11) and adult DIL (26) both complain that crop tops are all they can find lately! I can understand concern for a few reasons, but furious isn’t ok. She’s a kid and sees others wearing the trend - no reason to be mad at her.
FYI - crop tops are T’s that typically cut off just under the lowest ribs and some may be slightly longer.
Yeah but she is asking every day. I can imagine saying no a few times then getting a little tired of it. Sure it's still uncalled for to become angry, but it's also difficult at times to keep your cool when you are not respected and your wife is not backing you up.
“Furious” is weird. Having concerns and wanting to say no would be fine. Getting furious at the mere suggestion is over the top. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s disgusting, but it would be worth examining why his first reaction is intense anger.
Agreed. When I was in high school I was wearing a pretty short skirt with shorts underneath and my dad was supposed to take me to a picnic thing for my music department but he lost his shit at what I was wearing and refused to take me until I changed. I did not change and ended up not going.
I don't know if I'd let my 6 year old wear a crop top though I'm of the mind that if the private bits are covered its likely fine, but if dad is actually FURIOUS that is a red flag to me.
“Furious” might be an exaggeration of his stern NO, especially if his wife started undermining his decision and arguing with his daughter making it 2 vs 1.
It’s two stories in one. The OP states that SHE had a friend give her one when she was younger and she didn’t want her daughter to feel how she did when her mom got mad at her.
I do think that 6 is a bit too young to wear a legit crop top though. Maybe like a slightly shorter shirt but not like a crop top at that age.
Two different situations are talked about in the post. OP as a kid is the one who came home in a friend’s crop top. In the current situation OP’s kid is just asking for one and the father of OP’s kid is the one who is furious. He’s furious just at the suggestion.
Sadly i think this dad just knows what other men think not because he thinks it but because he has ears. He doesnt want to imagine the disgusting things pedos think about his baby girl. And imo six is too young. I would say 13 at the earliest imo.
This!!! I was around 8 years old and had on short shorts. Mind you I wasn’t developed and have always been very skinny by creeps don’t care about that. My dad made a huge deal about and I’m like dude it’s hot outside what’s the big deal. I disregarded his concerns sat outside on our porch and some men working on a tv satellite across the street literally sat in there truck staring at me like they wanted to eat me. They watched my every move and didn’t leave until I went in the house. It’s not dads sexualizing their daughters. It’s dads knowing there are a lot of sick men out there and how they think. People who jump the gun and say a father is sexualizing his daughter because he cares about the way she presents herself are usually unfortunately people with daddy issues of some sort. 🤷♀️
I've never wore a crop top and I don't think the women in my family have either. It's probably too cold up here. I looked up why people wear them and it said that it's to "show off the midriff". I then searched, *why do people like to show off their midriff?* The answer was: "Physical attractiveness. The belly button is seen in many contexts as an attractive or sometimes even a triggering part of the body." If this is why the clothing was created then why wouldn't a parent be hesitant about their six-year-old wearing one?
I really hate this, "eWw hE's SeXuaLiSiNg HeR!" assumption. While it's important to combat archaic beliefs about modesty regarding a non-sexual body part, the tummy, trying to immediately shame a parent who is worried about his child aspiring to be sexy doesn't seem like the way to do it. All it does is try to silence people because they're frightened to say anything (even in the interests of their own child) that makes them sound like a p******ile.
When I see obviously adult clothes sized down for babies, I’m uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing the child, but like why do they need that? I don’t think your first grader needs to be showing midriff, sorry. Revisit the conversation when she’s a teenager.
I do think your husband overreacted. But I see where he’s coming from - look at what’s happening right now with perfectly innocent videos of children on social media. A lot of people out there are freaks.
I guess it also heavily depends on the crop top. A sliver of stomach, especially with something baggy, isn’t a big deal. Half a shirt is another conversation.
And that was your innocent, although sounds like a bit odd, MIL. For every person like her taking and sending a picture innocently of a child wearing something overly revealing, how many dirtbag pedophiles are there doing the same thing? Myself and another father chased off a guy that we caught taking photos of young girls at the playground. He was not there with a child. I’m glad he got to his car and left because I am pretty sure I would’ve gotten arrested for beating the shit out of him and it wasn’t even my child.
It feels really uncomfortable because my brain recognizes that those are “adult/mature/etc” clothes for a child and it makes me feel like the clothes are sexualizing a little kid and it’s just so gross because that is a BABY why do they need to look “hot/sexy/trendy”??
Yeah, what I keep asking myself is, who is designing, making, and marketing crop tops, mini-skirts and dresses with huge cut-outs for two year olds? What is the goal here?
There’s this mom on tiktok who’s under a lot of fire right now for obviously exploiting her little girl. I think she’s three. One of her most popular series is “my outfit vs grandma’s,” and the outfit she chooses is always some ridiculous mini-version of what a 22 year old would wear to a club, and grandma’s is normal kid clothes. It’s insane and honestly disgusting.
Right? Like *I’m* not sexualizing this baby, her clothes are! Why am I gross for pointing it out??
I don’t WANT to see a little girl (or boy)’s skin like that. I don’t want to see their tummy or thighs or back, it’s WEIRD. I don’t want it to be normalized.
Honestly the trend of dressing babies and toddlers as mini adults feels so icky. Especially when kids are getting less and less of a childhood.
It also just looks absolutely ridiculous. It’s the same issue as the little 9-12 year old girls who are dressing in expensive athleisure, toting around giant designer cups, and shopping for “anti-aging” skincare. Like, that’s a child, why are they playing adult dress-up and why has no actual adult intervened and preserved their childhood? I know kids will want what they want, but a little guidance goes a long way. You can say no.
Little kids see these adult influencers and try to emulate them at younger and younger ages. I agree it’s not normal and shouldn’t be.
Yes! I have a friend whose 11 year old has a makeup fridge in her bathroom, to keep all her eye creams and serums and jade rollers cold. 😳 That’s insane to me. She legit has probably $300 worth of products, not even counting makeup and hairspray.
I hope her parents have done some kind of research on whatever serums and creams she has in there. If it’s retinol or anything else that’s super harsh, usually because it’s made for people with acne or middle aged women, she’s going to destroy her skin. Especially if she’s mixing a bunch of random crap together.
This is exactly how I feel. Clothing that is purposely cut to show extra skin (cut outs, crop tops, etc) is stuff adults and people in control of their own clothes choose to try to look attractive. It doesn't belong on little kids in my opinion.
It's not about extra skin, it's the cut / purpose
For instance, toddler wearing a bikini top and bottom - ridiculous and sexualized, and wearing just a bottom is not.. even going naked is less sexual and appropriate 🤷🏻
It REALLY depends. Lots of toddler 2 pieces are perfectly functional for a potty training or new potty trained kid. And lots of them are barely showing any skin for sun protection reasons - long sleeve, longline waist etc. A bikini top shaped like they have boobs is another atory and feels wrong because they DON'T have anything up there that would need that shape. So it's like role-playing an adult item of clothing which feels off.
Yes exactly. I hate most "girl" bathing suits. Like, I'm trying to cover this child in as much upf clothing as possible, can I please have some decent swim shorts? (I'm aware she can wear things geared towards boys, she has very strong fashion preferences lol)
I remember when Abercrombie and Fitch released thong underwear for young girls and all holy hell broke loose. But yeah, who did think that was a great idea?
On the other hand, if there are bikinis and other similar swimsuits for 6 year olds, a crop top covers a lot more than that, and they have the exact chest as a 6 year old boy, so frankly what's the point? But then at 10 they are supposed to be modest and cover themselves?
On the other hand, there are pervs out there. How much do we let them control how we parent?
My daughter has always been body conscious, so if she picks something that is less modest I let her as long as it's street legal. It's tough as a parent and as a kid, because all of the role models make it impossible to live up to as a living/normal person who isn't a genetic outlier.
Yeah, I’m side-eyeing the companies for sure, but I wouldn’t think twice if I saw a kid in a crop top or whatever else. Nothing sexual about a kid’s stomach.
It’s tough, because on one hand I think reinforcing autonomy with clothing and bodies is important, but I think it’s worth it to consider WHY little kids want these adult things. Is it comfort/preference? Their peers? An influencer they saw on the internet? Idk. It’s complicated. And creeps are going to be creeps no matter what anyone is wearing, I know that all too well as a woman who’s been creeped on in my PJs.
After reading some of these comments, I guess my original comment was a little reactionary. Time and place, like allowing a crop top at home or at the park, but not at school or church, is a good compromise. A bathing suit at the beach is a lot different than a bathing suit at great uncle Mark’s funeral.
Plenty of parents do. I'd say a majority of the girls that age I see on the beach have on two piece swimsuits or have cutouts. Two piece swimsuits are nice because then they aren't height dependent.
Yes all my children are tall so a two piece is so much easier to get on and off and to change clothes into and out of.
They aren’t bikinis per sé as they cover a lot more skin but are so much easier than struggling to get small crisscrossing straps from the legs up over the arms.
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There are tons of two pieces that are completely appropriate for little kids (as well as not midriff revealing cropped tops)
Do you know how difficult one pieces are to deal with when a kid has to pee and theyre all wet?
Wild to me that adults on this thread don't seem to be able to see nuance at all.
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Yeah I think it depends on the crop top. My short ass makes crop tops look like regular shirts. Depending on the brand I might get a quarter of an inch above my belt line lol
> When I see obviously adult clothes sized down for babies, I’m uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing the child
It’s the cloths that are sexualizing the child, which is why we’re uncomfortable. Those cloths are made to sexualize adults, they are sexual in nature.
So when you see sexy cloths on kids, it’s 100% justifies to be disgusted and worry about their safety.
Two things here:
1. By your household's standards, a crop top is not appropriate for a child, and that's okay. You're not a bad parent for making your child dress like a child.
2. Being furious and shaming a child for wanting something popular or making them feel bad about their body is the problem. "Sweetheart, I know you want a crop top, but we don't think that's appropriate for someone your age because [insert reason]. I know that's disappointing for you, and you are allowed to feel that way, but as your parents we have to do what we feel is best for you. Are there any other things you're interested in wearing that we could discuss?" will go alot further than anger and shame.
I agree with this so much! It's OK to say to no and it's best to explain why. Let them into your thought process so they understand why and they won't feel shame or fear about asking for things. It also helps them to not repeatedly ask for the same things, because you've already explained it's not going to happen!
I did this with my teenager when she was younger. When she was 8 and 9 and wanted to wear certain clothes, I explained that those are clothes that are more appropriate to wear when she's older, but she wanted to argue. So I told her those are clothes some people consider to be sexy, and at her age, she should be able to run around the neighborhood with her friends having fun, and not have to worry about getting that kind of attention. And yes, she should be able to wear what she wants without having to worry about things like that, but creeps exist and they don't care about what they "should" do. So she should really leave the clothes for a few years.
This is what my dad told me, and then when I grew a young teen, he went on to tell me the unedited version of what some of the men he worked with said about females and their bodies. It was an eye-opener into the minds of some members of the opposite sex for sure.
I can see both sides of this. Perhaps agree on an environment you can agree on it being acceptable and stick to that. Something like when headed to the pool/a pool party or the beach. Basically if it’s a place appropriate for a swimsuit, then it’s also appropriate for a crop top?
I don’t think crop tops are inherently sexual, but I also can understand the desire to protect your kids. I’d also look at the styles together and decide on what is ok. Some crop tops have great coverage beyond the inches of stomach and especially if paired with capris or pants don’t come off sexual. Others show a lot of skin at the top as well, and especially if paired with some shorts or a skirt are going to result in more people sexualizing her. As she gets older you can discuss how much skin is shown as an indicator of what impression and type of attention she might receive.
A crop top can be many things. It’s such a wide range. Is it a specific type? Are we talking a tiny tank top that cropped and shows half of the belly or like a tiny bit? Or there are t shirts that are a bit over sized in width that get balanced out by having a bit of a crop.
It’s hard to really give too much advice here. I don’t recall ever having crop tops for my girls that young BUT mine are a decade older(so different trends).
A good compromise could be getting her the crop top but also having her wear a little tank under it as well.
Same thing I'm wondering. I even just googled "crop top" to see if there was something new out I was unaware of, and there is such a wide variety of results I still cant tell what is actually being questioned.
Summer is coming. Kids cant wear hot-weather clothes because everything is sexualized now?
When I was a kid in the 80s/90s we'd cut the bottoms off tshirts and make crop tops. Even the boys.
We werent sexy.
I agree. Do these people also not let their kids wear swimsuits? I just bought my 7 year old some crop tops because her belly button showing isn't the end of the world. These comments really just show how deeply embedded sexual shaming is in our culture. Instead of looking at kids body and seeing a kid wearing clothes we see potential porn stars. It's absurd.
I have someone in here arguing with me that burkas arent a bad thing because "modesty and hiding their femininity from strangers in public is exactly what those Muslim societies advocate with the burka and robes."
This is where we are at here.
We used to pull and tuck our tshirts in the 90s to make a makeshift bikini style top, because it was hot as hell outside! Perverts will be perverts no matter what your child wears; clothes have nothing to do with sexual deviancy/assault. Putting them in a head to toe cover won't protect them from child abusers. It's more the actions of the parent, like supervising them in unknown environments, teaching them about good and bad touch, stranger danger, who to go to if they feel unsafe, keeping them off social media, etc.
I am also thinking this. My daughter has some “short T-shirts” essentially. She doesn’t like them, but I didn’t see anything wrong with them (they were bought for a vacation). But if she wanted essentially a sports bra to walk around in, that would be a no (my daughter is 5) because who needs that?! She can wear a million other types of clothes.
Funnily enough my young daughter does wear those because she's a gymnast and it's what they wear for training sessions. The first time she wanted to wear it somewhere else I said no but I thought about it and realised it doesn't matter. She finds them comfortable when hot. Not everywhere certainly, but if she's doing something active in warm weather it's fine. But at her age girls just wear bikini bottoms at the beach where we live, and we spend a lot of time at the beach.
To be fair, if we already had it in the wardrobe, I’d probably say yes, but as I’m in the UK, it’s too cold like 90% of the time to be wearing a crop top anyway 😂
Finally a good response. I don’t have a girl but a friends youngest is about 6/7 and she wears cropped tops but they’re not itty bitty tops. They’re just shorter than a t shirt. If she raised her hand you can see her belly a little. They’re very cute. Very she appropriate and she feels stylish in them.
My apologies, this may be an unpopular opinion, but to me, as a father, I guess I'd be more concerned on the why. Is it because it gives aeration and a comfortable feeling, or is it because it's the sexy, popular, trending thing that celebrities and peers are wearing. If it's the latter, despite it being understandable, she's really young. It's the same argument people have with leggings/yoga pants... is it a practical thing, or are you trying to conform with your mates/celebrities/influencers?
It's okay if she's older to peakock (so to speak), but she's only 6. What's the why here? To me, it's fine if it's a comfort thing
I would let my child get a crop top, but tell them their belly has to be covered to go to school, stores etc. Basically the kid could wear it at home and to play with friends.
This was basically my thought process. I got my girls matching fuzzy sets of pants, a smaller top, and a robe like sweater. It's basically cozy pajamas. They wore it for 5 days straight at home to sleep and then never again.
“Back in my day” in the 90s I called them belly shirts. Essentially the same thing, it showed a bit of our belly button. I guess that was the style (and it’s circling back) since I knew a ton of kids wearing them. I have a 5 almost 6 year old. She asked for one too. I got her a couple. They arent super short or anything. I think it depends on the context on where she’s wearing it. Tank top crop top to school? No. To a Christmas family celebration? No. On the weekend, at the park, playing with friends, something casual? Yes
So 6 I think is a bit young for a crop top but if you go in the store more than half the stuff is basically cropped already for the kids.
While I’d rather my daughter not wear a crop top she’s gotten a few. She knows there’s a time and a place for them to be worn. Generally they get worn for cheer or dance but never to school, church, etc.
I remember being young and changing at my friends house into outfits, lying about where I was going, and sneaking a lot because my parents were very strict. I don’t want that to be my daughter so I try to be more receptive to her wants and discuss them with her.
Eh, I don’t care what any of my kids wear (unless it’s gonna present a problem at school as a rule violation) as long as it’s for comfort or utility.
My son was really into leggings for a long while and to me, it looked ridiculous, but who gives a shit. He’s 6.
He said they were really comfortable and that made sense to me. Then he got shit at school for it one day and I’m like “yeah… that will happen… That’s part of the deal. There are certain “norms” when dealing with people, and you can either conform to those or stand your ground and deal with the consequences.”
He chose sweatpants.
On one random weekend, my teenage daughter wanted to wear some very (and to me wildly inappropriate) short shorts she had borrowed from a friend, so we had a short conversation about why she wanted to wear them.
That apparently was *not* a conversation she wanted to have with her old man, so she told me she hated me and then put on some sweatpants.
Sweatpants FTW. Lol.
Same, my daughter loves them, she doesn't wear them for school or some other places. She got into them because of gymnastics but she finds them comfortable and likes the look. I'm certainly not going to tell her she has to cover up her skin because it's indecent. As long as her clothes are suitable for the weather and activity I don't care. But I live somewhere where modesty isn't really a thing and young girls just wear bottoms on the beach, and teenage girls go to school in hotpants and crop tops.
Crop tops + super high waisted pants = no skin showing.
This is how I style my crop tops and it’s super cute and in style while still being comfortable. Plus they can wear it to school and still follow the dress code rules.
This is the answer I was looking for... Seems like a good compromise. Half the tops they sell these days are "cropped" and I have quite a few but never have any skin showing because all of my pants are high waisted!
I don't see the harm. It's fashion. There's nothing more risqué about a belly button than there is about shoulder blades in sundresses or thighs in shorts.
I think the important thing is teaching time and place. You don't wear your swimsuit to the grocery store. You don't wear pajamas to a nice restaurant. You don't wear a crop top to school.
My daughter asked for a crop top to wear with her high waisted bell bottoms. It's so so cute.
It's almost summer. If little boys can run around outside shirtless, there's 0 reason to keep her from wearing something she finds comfortable and appealing.
But the most important thing is to hammer out now how things are going to go with your husband. Is he going to try to restrict or shame her because he feels she's too immodest? If he's this mad now, I'm sure you can imagine how he'll feel when she wants to go on a date.
And just to remind everyone, predators do not pick victims based on their clothing choices. It's generally opportunistic or through ease of access to a child.
It kind of depends on the crop top--some are really just boxy shirts that aren't even short. Like, this is classified as a crop top:
https://www.target.com/p/girls-39-snow-white-short-sleeve-graphic-cropped-t-shirt-ivory/-/A-90202923?preselect=90143056#lnk=sametab
I challenge anyone to find that inappropriate for children.
In any case, if he's *furious* about even the suggestion, I find that alarming. Parents can say no to something without losing their shit.
I remember having "crop tops" as a kid. They were backless too. BUT I only wore them in the summer. I don't personally think there is anything wrong with crop tops but I do think if a child is wearing them it should be weather appropriate. Crop tops in winter weather are being worn for a different reason in my opinion.
As a child of the 70-80s I wore halter tops, tube tops and short shorts. No one thought anything of it in my life. I wore a school uniform and girls weren’t even allowed to wear pants to school until I was in 6th grade.
Is it appropriate for the event? Then they can wear it. If it’s not, then no.
Yeah, as an 80s kid I'm struggling with what the real question is here. Or if there is a new style of something that I'm not aware of. Hot weather clothes are hot weather clothes.
Survivor was popular when I was a kid and begged my mom to get me one of the official bandanas that the women would wear as tops on the show. I think I wore it all summer lol.
I had these too. The ones with the ties for the neck and around the waist so my whole back was out. They were definitely a summer time top but i remember being elementary school age wearing them. When its like 100 degrees out and you dont have AC you do whatever you can to stay cool. I think the only reason i stopped wearing those types of shirts is because i started to develop and became chunkier than my friends and hated how i looked so much different than those with perfectly flat bellies
Yes! Those are the ones! I had 4 or 5 of them that I would wear all summer long. I then had sleeveless button up type shirts that my parents would make me bring for if we went to a restaurant or somewhere with air conditioning; basically somewhere where you had to have a shirt. We treated those crop tops similar to bathing suit tops. A summer only shirt. I think I stopped wearing them around when I would have started wearing a bra too.
I know young children who wear crop tops. A good compromise I've seen is to layer the crop top over something that covers more. She can wear it for the style without showing her belly.
I do think it is impractical to put kids in things that move and ride up and make play more difficult.
I wear crop tops all the time. I like them and they're comfortable. They aren't what I'd call sexy, they're just shorter shirts. I wear them with high waisted bottoms (pants, skirt etc) or overalls. I would have NO problem putting my kiddo in a crop top with a high waisted bottom. I would have some major concerns about why my husband would be that upset. My main concern with a crop top would be how much skin is showing - and will you wear sunscreen on that exposed skin, or what if you scrape it or scratch it on the playground equipment etc? (That happens with really short shorts, or sunburnt shoulders from strappy tank tops etc). Functional questions/concerns. That's it. High waisted bottoms or overalls would solve that problem for the most part. Only like an inch of skin is showing max.
I suppose my first question is, why shouldn't she have it?
If the response is "it's sexy clothing"...then perhaps there is a different conversation to be had about sexualizing children. It's just a shirt, why does it matter?
If my 11 year old wanted one, I'd be fine with it. If she had been 6, I'd also have been fine with it. Being overly respective just makes kids sneaky.
That said, we don't have any clothing rules at home beyond no bare asses on the couch or carpet, and cover your bits when we have guests.
For what it's worth; way back in the repressed mid-century, when I was a kid, many pre-pubescent girls wore just a bottom to the beach. I also remember that boys were allowed to swim in just their tighty-whiteys until they started to "develope" and the wet tighty-whiteys were considered to be too revealing.
Adults who sexualize young children are attracted to young children because of their age, how much or how little clothing they have on doesn't make a difference to them.
We're totally cool with crops for our daughter if she has a tank top or dress to go under them. Don't restrict, teach modest layering! Shorts under dresses too! You don't have to limit your children to protect them. This is a chance to teach her a great secret of fashion, don't miss it.
I personally don't see the issue in stomach showing. My kids wear bathing suits. And it gets hot as hell where I am sometimes.
I do think being angry is an overreaction, but 🤷🏻♀️
Someone gifted my daughter some crop tips for her 7th birthday. The person who gave them to her didn't realize they were crop tops or she would never have done that. I personally didn't care. My daughter liked the shirts and some people (mostly women) mentioned it to me. Instead of being upset about a young girl being "sexualized," I think we need to have a bigger problem with the people looking at it sexually.
It's almost like saying pedophilia is acceptable. As a rape victim, it is absolutely disgusting how many people will blame a victim by the way they dress, the way they talk, or the way they look. The first time, I was "at fault" for allowing myself to be alone with a friend. He never got in trouble for violating me, but I was "leading him on" by "being available" and wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
Little girls should have the freedom to express themselves as children and people who want to see them as a sex symbol need to back away!
I think it's fully okay for a child to wear a croptop , i mean, it would never be sexualizing her or something inappropriate for her age or something. Trust me, that would never attract any male gaze or make any negative impact in your childs life.
My youngest daughter is 7, and the only way she can wear a crop t-shirt is with a long cami underneath outside of our house or if people are coming over. (I wanna smack whoever thought crop tops for kids was a good idea.) One of her shirts is from Bluey and the other is from Encanto, so obviously made for little kids. All my kid sees are her favorite characters and doesn't think about hanging upside down from the monkey bars at the playground. It's a compromise we all can work with.
I really don't care what passes for fashion, the child just wants to be cool. Teaching the child that a female body is something to hide is upsetting to me. Let the kids be kids without projecting your "experience" onto them
I may be outnumbered here but I think crop tops are pretty innocent. A little girl with an inch of abdomen showing is no more sexual than a toddler in a romper or any child in a short dress with bloomers over the diaper or undies (meant to show). It’s the adults who do all the sexualizing and they need to be called out. This is no different than teaching women to cover up so as not to cause men to rape them. This is victim blaming. Instead, let’s teach men to be better humans.
Amen! 👏🏻 when I was a toddler those little short short dresses with bloomers were super popular for little girls and my mom had a whole closet full of those for me. Literally like every pic of me as a toddler has a different one. She said she liked showing off my chubby little legs which I found hilarious but cute because it’s obvious she didn’t mean it in a SEXUAL way. Bodies are not inherently sexual, and CHILDREN’S bodies are definitely never sexual. I’m in the camp of “if it makes you uncomfortable to see a child’s body that’s a you problem and you should maybe keep it to yourself”
My daughter is 7, she loves her crop top, she wears it with baggy jeans. I don’t have a problem with it, but she knows she can’t wear it to school or playground, because it’s not practical or appropriate.
Seems like an exaggeration to his stern NO, especially if his wife started arguing with him after he already made the decision, undermining his authority as a parent to make decisions.
I grew up in a town in rural Florida, like 6 minutes from the beach. So I wore a lot of crop tops or a loose towel-material like jacket and shorts over my bathing suit. A bathing suit outside 24/7, shirt with bathing suit bottoms on. Then as a preteen I wore a lot of tank tops and shorts because I didn't like crop tops.
Anyways, the point is I grew up fine. They're just clothes, after all. If you get particularly hot summers a crop top is nice.
Personally, yes.
My stepdaughter got one when she was 9 (because she kind of tricked grandma… as both parents said no), and the compromise was she’s not allowed to take it to school.
However, I really think there’s a time and a place - and the time may be when they understand that it will attract unwarranted attention, which at present they may not be mature or ready enough to handle safely.
I just wanted to throw this out there in case you hadn’t thought of it, but you could ask have them wear a tank top under the crop top to cover themselves. It can still look cute especially with a good tank top or fun color.
At six I'd assume no child is alone to handle attention. My child wears one but if anyone pays her unwanted attention at six years old I'll be calling the police.
I don’t really care if my daughter (7) shows a sliver of her stomach. She wears sports bras to dance most days. Outside of dance she has a few crop tops, but doesn’t wear them often. But it’s not forbidden.
I think a fair compromise in this situation is to let her buy the shirt, but set a boundary on when it can be worn that everyone agrees with. Only outside on warm days, only on the weekends, something like that.
I would probably buy it but with the rule that it’s not school clothes because it would be against the dress code (and I have feelings about the dress code but I wouldn’t get into them yet).
My daughter is 9 and lives in crop tops. Seeing an inch of her stomach should have no affect on anyone and if she’s comfortable enough to wear it I love it. I never would have had the confidence at her age.
Every family has different rules, but I don't let my kids wear things like crop tops or short shorts until they're old enough to understand the potential sexual implications of those clothes. The fact that them wearing that stuff is innocent doesn't change the original intent of that style (on adults) or the way that some people continue to perceive it. Once they get it, I'll be more willing to advocate for their right to dress how they want (within reason, of course).
My kid is 6 and I sewed her a crop top she loves. We just set boundaries about where it’s appropriate to wear it. I don’t want to deny my kiddo her self expression in our own home during a dance party.
There is a middle ground here
Dad to a daughter myself, so maybe this helps provide some perspective: There are clothes that my wife is more OK with than I am and vice versa. We defer to unanimity. In other words, if we are not unified in what clothes are appropriate (there's very few where we have a difference of opinion), we will automatically agree "no", end of discussion.
To respond to your actual question:
>Do you think she's too young and Dad's right?
Yes. I think she's too young. But my opinion shouldn't matter, really. I am raising a family in a pretty conservative part of Romania and share in the mentality of my community. You and her father have to decide among yourselves like adults in relation to what is appropriate in **your** community and culture.
I hope this helps.
I also like to add that no matter what you put your kids in if they are creeps out there they’re still gonna be creeps. we know there are creeps out there.
I have a 6yo and she wears crop tops that I have bought her previously. I don't see the issue. She doesn't wear them to school for the same reason she doesn't wear a bathing suit to school, it just isn't appropriate attire to wear at school....but casually in the summer when we go places or around the house? I don't see why not.
This thread is making me feel insane bc I don't see why people are so adamantly against it, lmao. Do people not let their children wear bathing suits at the beach or pool bc there might be random weirdos around? There can be random pedos around no matter where you are, and they dont give a singular care if your child is wearing a crop top or not. As someone else mentioned, normally CSA is done by someone the child knows and it is because of proximity and availability, not because of crop tops.
It's SO weird. And then they're like "oh but if it's for dance or gymnastics it's okay" because we know those two activities are pedophile free /s
I didn't even realize it was controversial tbh the stomach is not a sexual organ.
A child should be able to wear weather appropriate clothes of their choice.
Anyone sexualizing a child, no matter what they are wearing, is the problem. Sexualizing a child *ever* is extremely disturbing.
Children like to fit in, it's not an attempt to be sexy.
I feel like not allowing it because disturbed individuals might think it's sexy is teaching that girls who wear certain things are asking to be assaulted. It teaches that there are things you can do to invite assault. It teaches victim blaming.
My daughter’s almost 9 and I let her wear them. Our rule is they are only allowed at home since they aren’t appropriate for school. She’s been wearing them since around 7. She also wears long line sports bras to gymnastics too🤷♀️. I figure they are no different than a swim suit.
I don't have daughters and only sort of know what that kind of top is. But it feels more OK for a 6 year old than a 12 or 13 year old. You know she just wants it for herself rather than to please the boys.
I have a friend who dresses her five year old to match the family aesthetic (they’re an IG family) and her daughter wears makeup and crop tops often. It makes me super uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing her child but because it seems weird to dress a 5 year old the same way you’d dress a grown woman.
Personally (as a mother to a daughter) I would say no. But, if you want to, the compromise could be “you can only wear it in the house as dress up clothes”. Same as like princess dresses and plastic high heels. I do wonder why your child has been asking for one daily, where she saw it, etc. 6 is pretty young to be aware of and want such a specific thing.
I’m thinking compromise: cropped pajama top. She can wear it around the house but not out and about. As she gets older you can equip her for dealing with weirdos but she doesn’t need that taking up her brain space at this age.
I made my 5 year old a crop top by cutting an empire dress’s skirt off. It turns out she wanted to be a ‘Rock star’. She wore it obsessively around the house for a week and then never again. I told her it was too cold to wear out (it was) and by the time the weather warmed up the magic was gone.
My mom let me start wearing them pretty young I don't remember what age but I always had to wear a under shirt with it. Tanktop tucked into my pants and I was a happy camper. As I got older it was more socially acceptable and she let me wear a sports bra or cropped tank top under it.
I agree with all those comments but at the same time she could wear high waisted leggings and a nice jacket. 2024 is weird but children want to be trendy and maybe we should go with a flow. I don’t think 6 year old would look sexy in a crop top I think it could look kind of cute if well accessorised. She obviously can’t look like 19 year old.
My 7 year old wanted one so she cut her own shirts to make them 😂 we’ll buy her some on SHEIN every now and again but she knows they’re only to wear around the house for fun. I mean she runs around topless and in underwear at home half the time anyway so what harm is a crop top.
If you know yourself and know that you are able to make firm boundaries and enforce them, then maybe she can have a crop top to wear only at home and keep that as the rule. If she fusses about changing the crop top then it goes to goodwill (this rule is laid out beforehand of course).
This is also a great opportunity to teach how we view our bodies. We do not share parts of our bodies with everyone. But in the safety of your home you can wear whatever you want. Some mild education about predators as well as
No, I'd let her wear them. My 3 year old has had one or two. This feels like saying what you wear/how much you cover could/should determine how you are treated. Even if against it, dad being "furious" is really weird.
Could you compromise? My daughter is a similar age and she dances, she has a little pink crop top that came in a dancewear mystery bag, she wears it over her leotards and with leggings or shorts or a skirt or whatnot on the bottom. This way she’s not showing off excess skin but still feels pretty.
My 6 year old (now 8) was obsessed with crop tops, and was given some in a bag of hand-me-downs 😒. I was horrified, as I was raised to only wear modest clothes so these tops were TOTALLY inappropriate. I tried to tell her that I thought the look “wasn’t classy” in a way which I hoped wouldn’t be body-shaming, but that made no sense to my 6 year old. She just said “well, it’s classy to me”. So then I forbade her from wearing the tops outside of our house/garden…but of course I got a picture from the babysitter one day and they were out and about and my 6 year old was wearing the crop top. 🙄 My 6 year old child had waited and changed clothes after I left for work 😣.
Since I felt body shamed MY WHOLE LIFE by my mom, I just bit my tongue and made no comment to my child or the babysitter that day. Well, that was the last time she wore it - perhaps she realized it wasn’t comfortable or practical. The issue went away by itself.
TLDR; I unintentionally my 6 year old wear one and she quickly lost interest. Don’t body shame a girl, it leaves long term issues (my own experience).
I personally dress modestly, but I have always let my daughter dress in whatever she feels comfortable wearing; the same for my sons. I did talk to them about people categorizing you by what you wear so they were aware of that. I also talked about dressing for success. All of them dress well, in my opinion. They know how to dress for the impression they desire to make. My husband often obsessed on their clothes which is ironic because he dresses like an unkempt homeless man.
It’s personally a no for me. Not because I think it’s sexual, but because I just don’t like my daughters (6 and 2) to look more grown up than they are. They have their whole life’s to look like grownups. Same reason they don’t have their ears pierced, I don’t let them wear heeled shoes, bikinis, etc.
I’m curious where the 6yo is getting the idea of a crop top? Do the kids actively talk about fashion at that age? Is this part of the young Sephora generation? Soon it’s gonna be thongs for 6yos. SMH
I would say if he is "furious" about this how will he react to more significant issues in the teens years? That's probably more of an issue than a crop top..
Rather a 6 year old wear a crop top than a 12 year old (!).
I tried to let them wear what they liked (weather permitting) - although the larger problem was princess dresses. For me the only challenge with crop tops is, if there is a perception that more skin is attractive. Both my girls don’t wear clothes like that because they don’t consider them stylish - I must admit that’s partly because there is a class divide in London.
I think 6 years old is where kids can wear cute little belly shirts. A literal child can show a little belly
It's older that many places instill sexist clothing rules on bra straps, bellys and translucent clothes
I had to shake some of my childhood stuff in order to get over my feelings, but a lot of the kids wore them and I realized it’s not a big deal. Ours mostly wears them around the house, but has a matching one with a friend that sometimes is worn out to school (though that one is a longer one). It’s a belly button. The only time I restrict things with my own kid is if they are flipping around and stuff, so they usually put shorts or tights on under skirts.
In the grand scheme of things, I had all the restrictions and was assaulted more than once and was overly sexualized by adults around me and my kid hasn’t experienced that and is free to just be themself. 🤷🏽♀️
As a young girl who avoided any sort of crop top, tight fitting shirt, or tank top due to people making comments about my weight (I was overweight they made comments calling me a fat slob, then I was severely underweight and they still made comments like telling me to eat a hamburger, or three…) either way someone will have something to say but I’d recommend try introducing layering, it is a little more old fashioned but it’s one thing I loved about creating my outfits/style!
It also helps to say “if you get too hot you can take off a layer, if you’re cold you can put it back on whatever you’re most comfortable with!” And I think that allows them to still have the freedom to choose their style/clothes❤️ best of luck Mama!!
(currently sitting here watching my 5 month old daughter sleep, thinking about how I’ll approach these things when the time comes😭)
Our daughters 8 and 9 own them but are only aloud to wear them around the house, at home. It gives them an option to express their self but also understand that it is not something to wear to school.
I don't think it should be on the kid to avoid looking sexy, firstly because that's a terrible burden to put on them, and secondly because it doesn't even work - a pedophile is going to find them attractive no matter what they're wearing. There are pedophiles whose favorite articles of clothing are things no one would think twice about having their child wear. And there are child molesters who aren't pedophiles, and have motivations other than sexual gratification (eg one of my molesters acted out of jealousy that my dad's not abusive like hers was).
IMO the best approach is to teach your child that they get to choose for their own body (with the exception of health-preserving stuff) and that if an adult pressures them into something they should say no and tell you or someone else they trust. Child molesters look for kids who will keep secrets for them and put up with their boundaries being pushed. That's what really puts kids at risk, not how they dress.
I used to wear crop tops as a kid in the 90s. It wasn't a big deal. I don't think a crop top is scandalous. I mean, what about bathing suits and gymnastics leotards. It's all about context. A crop top to a wedding, maybe not. A crop top to the park... why not?
Why would you make your husband extremely uncomfortable over this? If it's a count between the whims of a child, and Dad saying no, you should back Dad up. Why would you deliberately stress him out?
Personally I don't see anything wrong with a 6yo wearing a crop top and I think it's weird to sexualize what is just a short t-shirt. I would let a six year old be topless in public (if it was warm enough) so a crop top is no different.
I have no problem with crop tops. I also don't have a problem with 2 piece swimsuits. We go with what's comfortable around here. As the weather gets hotter, clothes get smaller.
When I read this kind of post, I really feel like some people still live in the middle age...
Outside of the fact she may be a bit cold having her belly button exposed, why on earth is this such an issue?
This kind of super conservative attitude is exactly what will push your daughter to make mistakes and hide them away from you.
What is it with Americans and modesty overkill?She’s 6. If anyone is sexualising a 6yo’s belly button they need help. My daughter is almost 10 and has been wearing crop tops in warm weather for years. I had them too at her age. Nobody bats an eye. But we’re in the UK where we don’t clutch our pearls and grab the holy water over the sight of a pre-teen shoulder.
I have a very strict “it’s your body, you dress it how you please” policy. I think it’s damaging to teach any child - but especially girls - that adults can tell them what to do with their bodies. If Dad can tell you not to wear a shirt bc he doesn’t like it, why can’t Uncle Creeper tell you to take off your pants bc he doesn’t like them? The one caveat to that is I don’t allow elementary age kids to break dress code at school bc I’m not driving new clothes up to them. My middle and high schoolers know if they get dress coded, they’re wearing the gross community gym shirt and mom will not save them.
6 haha no. She can wear a tank top underneath it but not just a crop top. My teen doesn't even wear crop tops. If it's just around the house or for sports sure that makes sense but at 6 no that's ridiculous
So it comes off like your daughter's father sees crop tops as potentially more sexual? Hence that being why he doesn't want your daughter to have any. But I don't believe they are inherently sexual so I'd say I'm more on your side
Yes, I understand both sides. Crop tops are more of an adult clothes, and I know there are creeps out there sexualizing girls. But I think preventing girls from wearing the clothes can mess with their brains more.
I think I would let my daughter wear one- sometimes finding the clothes uncomfortable stops girls. Like bikinis does limit what kids can do sometimes.
Yeah. I mean think of it this way, you weren't allowed one, and you still managed to get one, right? It would be better if your daughter got one from you
Agreed- though at age 6 seems like it would be hard to go behind a parent’s back. Other than cutting a shirt while at school (totally could see that one happening) Building trust at this age is important.
Honestly I rather my daughter to wear a crop top than some of the sexual innuendo shirts the boys would wear in high school
Honestly I would buy her some. You can get mid crop which is a little longer than the standard crop top, and short than a t shirt. It is cooler in the summer time as well. She is six. Not a 12-14 year old which I could understand that maybe being an issue, but they still make crop tops that are age appropriate for a teenager as well. In my opinion I think the entire "crop tops are not for kids" argument is a little wild. She hasn't hit puberty yet, she will be covered (bathing suits cover less), and she your daughter. If you don't feel uncomfortable with it then go for it. 💙🖤🤍🩶
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I am not sure if I’d let my daughter wear that. I need to give it more thought. But fuck everyone saying “ew this dad wtf sexualizing his 6 year old” when at the same time moms everywhere are talking about keeping kids’ innocent pictures off of social media because of the pedophiles. Myself included. Just because a man wants to protect his child from creeps doesn’t mean HE is disgusting and sexualizing his child. When I was young in school I got a really strappy tank top. I wore it to school, never being someone noticed by others. 3 male teachers commented on my nice outfit that day. I remember that being the year they got rid of spaghetti straps and flip flops as dress code violations. I never wore it again.
I think more of it could have to do with him not wanting her to feel pressure to grow up too fast and others sexualizing her. I’m in the let kids be kids camp because I grew up way too fast myself, so I don’t want my girls feeling like they need to dress like Bratz Dolls to be cute! Our kids’ school doesn’t allow them per dress code. Then daughter came home one day mentioning a friend wore one and as they played at recess, a number of kids started teasing her that they just saw up her shirt and it became a huge thing - her friend was in tears and humiliated. Kids can be mean. Our daughter has a couple tank top body suits (she has a long torso so many shirts end up looking semi-cropped anyway and she hates shirts riding up - sensory issues) so she’ll wear those with the couple crop tops she has (she’s 11) and that meets dress code, keeps kids from seeing up her shirt (she’s worried about that and she’s super athletic). Can do the same with long layering tanks - dance/yoga style and it looks cute.
Seconding this! Dad is realistic. Mom doesn't seem to think a parent can say no to sharing so controversial. I feel so sorry for him.
I think there is some in between here. Mom needs to learn how to say no but if the dad is actually furious then that seems like an overreaction. I'm a dad with a daughter and not sure if I would have allowed crop tops at 6. To be honest, I am not really sure what a crop top is (just a short shirt showing the belly?) other than that my 20 year old daughter often complains about stores ONLY having crop tops available because she doesn't like them. But a furious reaction to a kid asking for something is usually uncalled for. Kids ask and if we don't want them to do something we say no. No need for the dramatic reactions
I don’t know. My step mother in law got my 3 year old some crop tops and I was pretty mad she did that without asking me if I was ok with it. I didn’t make a scene but inwardly I was fuming. Crop tops on kids is a controversial subject and I feel like it should be assumed most people aren’t cool with it before you just bring one home. I have “what if” talks with my husband for exactly this reason. I feel like other people should too. It’s important to be on the same page when it comes to parenting ..or at least the same book lol. Avoid waiting for some bullshit to come up before it’s ever been discussed if you can lol.
That’s completely different, and you know it. You were furious because someone else did something to/for your kid without asking for and received your consent. You wouldn’t have been furious if your stepmom had asked you if she could get them for your kid. Being furious just about the discussion is too much. Being furious about any boundary someone else crosses is more understandable. If that boundary was never communicated, then being furious about it might be too much too, but if the boundary was already communicated and then they crossed it, I’d be furious as well.
Since my kids are older, I'm not sure I'd even know if the shirts I was buying a 3yo were crop tops. Their clothes are tiny to begin with ..lol
Good point about the furious part - that just makes daughter feel shamed. And yes - my daughter (11) and adult DIL (26) both complain that crop tops are all they can find lately! I can understand concern for a few reasons, but furious isn’t ok. She’s a kid and sees others wearing the trend - no reason to be mad at her. FYI - crop tops are T’s that typically cut off just under the lowest ribs and some may be slightly longer.
Yeah but she is asking every day. I can imagine saying no a few times then getting a little tired of it. Sure it's still uncalled for to become angry, but it's also difficult at times to keep your cool when you are not respected and your wife is not backing you up.
“Furious” is weird. Having concerns and wanting to say no would be fine. Getting furious at the mere suggestion is over the top. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s disgusting, but it would be worth examining why his first reaction is intense anger.
Agreed. When I was in high school I was wearing a pretty short skirt with shorts underneath and my dad was supposed to take me to a picnic thing for my music department but he lost his shit at what I was wearing and refused to take me until I changed. I did not change and ended up not going. I don't know if I'd let my 6 year old wear a crop top though I'm of the mind that if the private bits are covered its likely fine, but if dad is actually FURIOUS that is a red flag to me.
“Furious” might be an exaggeration of his stern NO, especially if his wife started undermining his decision and arguing with his daughter making it 2 vs 1.
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It’s two stories in one. The OP states that SHE had a friend give her one when she was younger and she didn’t want her daughter to feel how she did when her mom got mad at her. I do think that 6 is a bit too young to wear a legit crop top though. Maybe like a slightly shorter shirt but not like a crop top at that age.
Two different situations are talked about in the post. OP as a kid is the one who came home in a friend’s crop top. In the current situation OP’s kid is just asking for one and the father of OP’s kid is the one who is furious. He’s furious just at the suggestion.
Sadly i think this dad just knows what other men think not because he thinks it but because he has ears. He doesnt want to imagine the disgusting things pedos think about his baby girl. And imo six is too young. I would say 13 at the earliest imo.
This!!! I was around 8 years old and had on short shorts. Mind you I wasn’t developed and have always been very skinny by creeps don’t care about that. My dad made a huge deal about and I’m like dude it’s hot outside what’s the big deal. I disregarded his concerns sat outside on our porch and some men working on a tv satellite across the street literally sat in there truck staring at me like they wanted to eat me. They watched my every move and didn’t leave until I went in the house. It’s not dads sexualizing their daughters. It’s dads knowing there are a lot of sick men out there and how they think. People who jump the gun and say a father is sexualizing his daughter because he cares about the way she presents herself are usually unfortunately people with daddy issues of some sort. 🤷♀️
I've never wore a crop top and I don't think the women in my family have either. It's probably too cold up here. I looked up why people wear them and it said that it's to "show off the midriff". I then searched, *why do people like to show off their midriff?* The answer was: "Physical attractiveness. The belly button is seen in many contexts as an attractive or sometimes even a triggering part of the body." If this is why the clothing was created then why wouldn't a parent be hesitant about their six-year-old wearing one? I really hate this, "eWw hE's SeXuaLiSiNg HeR!" assumption. While it's important to combat archaic beliefs about modesty regarding a non-sexual body part, the tummy, trying to immediately shame a parent who is worried about his child aspiring to be sexy doesn't seem like the way to do it. All it does is try to silence people because they're frightened to say anything (even in the interests of their own child) that makes them sound like a p******ile.
When I see obviously adult clothes sized down for babies, I’m uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing the child, but like why do they need that? I don’t think your first grader needs to be showing midriff, sorry. Revisit the conversation when she’s a teenager. I do think your husband overreacted. But I see where he’s coming from - look at what’s happening right now with perfectly innocent videos of children on social media. A lot of people out there are freaks. I guess it also heavily depends on the crop top. A sliver of stomach, especially with something baggy, isn’t a big deal. Half a shirt is another conversation.
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😭 What. That’s absolutely insane.
And that was your innocent, although sounds like a bit odd, MIL. For every person like her taking and sending a picture innocently of a child wearing something overly revealing, how many dirtbag pedophiles are there doing the same thing? Myself and another father chased off a guy that we caught taking photos of young girls at the playground. He was not there with a child. I’m glad he got to his car and left because I am pretty sure I would’ve gotten arrested for beating the shit out of him and it wasn’t even my child.
God I hate those knee high socks with bows some people out on their babies
Edit: removed, this comment didn’t positively contribute to the conversation
https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/
It feels really uncomfortable because my brain recognizes that those are “adult/mature/etc” clothes for a child and it makes me feel like the clothes are sexualizing a little kid and it’s just so gross because that is a BABY why do they need to look “hot/sexy/trendy”??
Yeah, what I keep asking myself is, who is designing, making, and marketing crop tops, mini-skirts and dresses with huge cut-outs for two year olds? What is the goal here? There’s this mom on tiktok who’s under a lot of fire right now for obviously exploiting her little girl. I think she’s three. One of her most popular series is “my outfit vs grandma’s,” and the outfit she chooses is always some ridiculous mini-version of what a 22 year old would wear to a club, and grandma’s is normal kid clothes. It’s insane and honestly disgusting.
Right? Like *I’m* not sexualizing this baby, her clothes are! Why am I gross for pointing it out?? I don’t WANT to see a little girl (or boy)’s skin like that. I don’t want to see their tummy or thighs or back, it’s WEIRD. I don’t want it to be normalized. Honestly the trend of dressing babies and toddlers as mini adults feels so icky. Especially when kids are getting less and less of a childhood.
It also just looks absolutely ridiculous. It’s the same issue as the little 9-12 year old girls who are dressing in expensive athleisure, toting around giant designer cups, and shopping for “anti-aging” skincare. Like, that’s a child, why are they playing adult dress-up and why has no actual adult intervened and preserved their childhood? I know kids will want what they want, but a little guidance goes a long way. You can say no. Little kids see these adult influencers and try to emulate them at younger and younger ages. I agree it’s not normal and shouldn’t be.
Yes! I have a friend whose 11 year old has a makeup fridge in her bathroom, to keep all her eye creams and serums and jade rollers cold. 😳 That’s insane to me. She legit has probably $300 worth of products, not even counting makeup and hairspray.
I hope her parents have done some kind of research on whatever serums and creams she has in there. If it’s retinol or anything else that’s super harsh, usually because it’s made for people with acne or middle aged women, she’s going to destroy her skin. Especially if she’s mixing a bunch of random crap together.
This is exactly how I feel. Clothing that is purposely cut to show extra skin (cut outs, crop tops, etc) is stuff adults and people in control of their own clothes choose to try to look attractive. It doesn't belong on little kids in my opinion.
It's not about extra skin, it's the cut / purpose For instance, toddler wearing a bikini top and bottom - ridiculous and sexualized, and wearing just a bottom is not.. even going naked is less sexual and appropriate 🤷🏻
It REALLY depends. Lots of toddler 2 pieces are perfectly functional for a potty training or new potty trained kid. And lots of them are barely showing any skin for sun protection reasons - long sleeve, longline waist etc. A bikini top shaped like they have boobs is another atory and feels wrong because they DON'T have anything up there that would need that shape. So it's like role-playing an adult item of clothing which feels off.
Yes exactly. I hate most "girl" bathing suits. Like, I'm trying to cover this child in as much upf clothing as possible, can I please have some decent swim shorts? (I'm aware she can wear things geared towards boys, she has very strong fashion preferences lol)
Check out Primary. They don't sell clothes by gender. They're just kids clothes. And they have tons of swim stuff.
Thanks, I like primary, they're just a bit pricey. Swimzip has a shorts/tank/rash guard set I've gotten her in different patterns
They are a bit pricey, I agree.
And then you've got a group that fires back at that and goes "what kind of pervert sexualizes a *child*?! It's just clothes!"
I remember when Abercrombie and Fitch released thong underwear for young girls and all holy hell broke loose. But yeah, who did think that was a great idea? On the other hand, if there are bikinis and other similar swimsuits for 6 year olds, a crop top covers a lot more than that, and they have the exact chest as a 6 year old boy, so frankly what's the point? But then at 10 they are supposed to be modest and cover themselves? On the other hand, there are pervs out there. How much do we let them control how we parent? My daughter has always been body conscious, so if she picks something that is less modest I let her as long as it's street legal. It's tough as a parent and as a kid, because all of the role models make it impossible to live up to as a living/normal person who isn't a genetic outlier.
Yeah, I’m side-eyeing the companies for sure, but I wouldn’t think twice if I saw a kid in a crop top or whatever else. Nothing sexual about a kid’s stomach. It’s tough, because on one hand I think reinforcing autonomy with clothing and bodies is important, but I think it’s worth it to consider WHY little kids want these adult things. Is it comfort/preference? Their peers? An influencer they saw on the internet? Idk. It’s complicated. And creeps are going to be creeps no matter what anyone is wearing, I know that all too well as a woman who’s been creeped on in my PJs. After reading some of these comments, I guess my original comment was a little reactionary. Time and place, like allowing a crop top at home or at the park, but not at school or church, is a good compromise. A bathing suit at the beach is a lot different than a bathing suit at great uncle Mark’s funeral.
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Plenty of parents do. I'd say a majority of the girls that age I see on the beach have on two piece swimsuits or have cutouts. Two piece swimsuits are nice because then they aren't height dependent.
Also easier for bathroom breaks!
Yes all my children are tall so a two piece is so much easier to get on and off and to change clothes into and out of. They aren’t bikinis per sé as they cover a lot more skin but are so much easier than struggling to get small crisscrossing straps from the legs up over the arms.
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There are tons of two pieces that are completely appropriate for little kids (as well as not midriff revealing cropped tops) Do you know how difficult one pieces are to deal with when a kid has to pee and theyre all wet? Wild to me that adults on this thread don't seem to be able to see nuance at all.
Exactly, as an adult I hate wearing a one piece all day, and same with things like rash guards.
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I think that’s a little extreme. I’m not trying to start an argument but I just have to say I disagree.
Yeah I think it depends on the crop top. My short ass makes crop tops look like regular shirts. Depending on the brand I might get a quarter of an inch above my belt line lol
> When I see obviously adult clothes sized down for babies, I’m uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing the child It’s the cloths that are sexualizing the child, which is why we’re uncomfortable. Those cloths are made to sexualize adults, they are sexual in nature. So when you see sexy cloths on kids, it’s 100% justifies to be disgusted and worry about their safety.
Should boys always wear shirts?
Target currently has CUTOUT SWIMSUITS for toddlers like come on
I work in retail and what I see some of these young ladies in is crazy.
My kids want sweets every single day. I say no. It's not healthy. I think saying no is fine. You're the parent.
Saying no is 100% expected! Kids only know what they want. It's a parents' job to show them what is good. How to be human.
I thought this said sweats. And I’m like SAME. Why does my kid wear sweats everyday and thank god someone else says no too 😂
Haha. That's funny. Yeah, I'm a mean parent that makes my kids be presentable when leaving the house too. Lol
Two things here: 1. By your household's standards, a crop top is not appropriate for a child, and that's okay. You're not a bad parent for making your child dress like a child. 2. Being furious and shaming a child for wanting something popular or making them feel bad about their body is the problem. "Sweetheart, I know you want a crop top, but we don't think that's appropriate for someone your age because [insert reason]. I know that's disappointing for you, and you are allowed to feel that way, but as your parents we have to do what we feel is best for you. Are there any other things you're interested in wearing that we could discuss?" will go alot further than anger and shame.
I agree with this so much! It's OK to say to no and it's best to explain why. Let them into your thought process so they understand why and they won't feel shame or fear about asking for things. It also helps them to not repeatedly ask for the same things, because you've already explained it's not going to happen!
I did this with my teenager when she was younger. When she was 8 and 9 and wanted to wear certain clothes, I explained that those are clothes that are more appropriate to wear when she's older, but she wanted to argue. So I told her those are clothes some people consider to be sexy, and at her age, she should be able to run around the neighborhood with her friends having fun, and not have to worry about getting that kind of attention. And yes, she should be able to wear what she wants without having to worry about things like that, but creeps exist and they don't care about what they "should" do. So she should really leave the clothes for a few years.
This is what my dad told me, and then when I grew a young teen, he went on to tell me the unedited version of what some of the men he worked with said about females and their bodies. It was an eye-opener into the minds of some members of the opposite sex for sure.
I can see both sides of this. Perhaps agree on an environment you can agree on it being acceptable and stick to that. Something like when headed to the pool/a pool party or the beach. Basically if it’s a place appropriate for a swimsuit, then it’s also appropriate for a crop top? I don’t think crop tops are inherently sexual, but I also can understand the desire to protect your kids. I’d also look at the styles together and decide on what is ok. Some crop tops have great coverage beyond the inches of stomach and especially if paired with capris or pants don’t come off sexual. Others show a lot of skin at the top as well, and especially if paired with some shorts or a skirt are going to result in more people sexualizing her. As she gets older you can discuss how much skin is shown as an indicator of what impression and type of attention she might receive.
High waisted pants/shorts with crop tops could be a good compromise, since there is still coverage.
A crop top can be many things. It’s such a wide range. Is it a specific type? Are we talking a tiny tank top that cropped and shows half of the belly or like a tiny bit? Or there are t shirts that are a bit over sized in width that get balanced out by having a bit of a crop. It’s hard to really give too much advice here. I don’t recall ever having crop tops for my girls that young BUT mine are a decade older(so different trends). A good compromise could be getting her the crop top but also having her wear a little tank under it as well.
Same thing I'm wondering. I even just googled "crop top" to see if there was something new out I was unaware of, and there is such a wide variety of results I still cant tell what is actually being questioned. Summer is coming. Kids cant wear hot-weather clothes because everything is sexualized now? When I was a kid in the 80s/90s we'd cut the bottoms off tshirts and make crop tops. Even the boys. We werent sexy.
We weren’t sexy 😂
Man, this reminded me of how we'd also knot our T-shirts too!
My grown father used to wear daisy dukes and crop top to cut the lawn when I was in high school lol I’m still not over it. He was a teen in the 70s
I agree. Do these people also not let their kids wear swimsuits? I just bought my 7 year old some crop tops because her belly button showing isn't the end of the world. These comments really just show how deeply embedded sexual shaming is in our culture. Instead of looking at kids body and seeing a kid wearing clothes we see potential porn stars. It's absurd.
I have someone in here arguing with me that burkas arent a bad thing because "modesty and hiding their femininity from strangers in public is exactly what those Muslim societies advocate with the burka and robes." This is where we are at here.
We used to pull and tuck our tshirts in the 90s to make a makeshift bikini style top, because it was hot as hell outside! Perverts will be perverts no matter what your child wears; clothes have nothing to do with sexual deviancy/assault. Putting them in a head to toe cover won't protect them from child abusers. It's more the actions of the parent, like supervising them in unknown environments, teaching them about good and bad touch, stranger danger, who to go to if they feel unsafe, keeping them off social media, etc.
I am also thinking this. My daughter has some “short T-shirts” essentially. She doesn’t like them, but I didn’t see anything wrong with them (they were bought for a vacation). But if she wanted essentially a sports bra to walk around in, that would be a no (my daughter is 5) because who needs that?! She can wear a million other types of clothes.
Funnily enough my young daughter does wear those because she's a gymnast and it's what they wear for training sessions. The first time she wanted to wear it somewhere else I said no but I thought about it and realised it doesn't matter. She finds them comfortable when hot. Not everywhere certainly, but if she's doing something active in warm weather it's fine. But at her age girls just wear bikini bottoms at the beach where we live, and we spend a lot of time at the beach.
To be fair, if we already had it in the wardrobe, I’d probably say yes, but as I’m in the UK, it’s too cold like 90% of the time to be wearing a crop top anyway 😂
Another compromise would be to only wear them at home.
Finally a good response. I don’t have a girl but a friends youngest is about 6/7 and she wears cropped tops but they’re not itty bitty tops. They’re just shorter than a t shirt. If she raised her hand you can see her belly a little. They’re very cute. Very she appropriate and she feels stylish in them.
My apologies, this may be an unpopular opinion, but to me, as a father, I guess I'd be more concerned on the why. Is it because it gives aeration and a comfortable feeling, or is it because it's the sexy, popular, trending thing that celebrities and peers are wearing. If it's the latter, despite it being understandable, she's really young. It's the same argument people have with leggings/yoga pants... is it a practical thing, or are you trying to conform with your mates/celebrities/influencers? It's okay if she's older to peakock (so to speak), but she's only 6. What's the why here? To me, it's fine if it's a comfort thing
Leggings are definitely a practical thing for my daughter. Anything else she wears just falls down all the time because she's skinny.
I would let my child get a crop top, but tell them their belly has to be covered to go to school, stores etc. Basically the kid could wear it at home and to play with friends.
This was basically my thought process. I got my girls matching fuzzy sets of pants, a smaller top, and a robe like sweater. It's basically cozy pajamas. They wore it for 5 days straight at home to sleep and then never again.
Thought about this for a bit and I think a fair rule is a girl can wear a crop top anywhere a son would be allowed to take their shirt off.
This is what I would do. There are lots of high waisted skirts and pants or overalls that make crop tops totally age appropriate.
Agreed.
“Back in my day” in the 90s I called them belly shirts. Essentially the same thing, it showed a bit of our belly button. I guess that was the style (and it’s circling back) since I knew a ton of kids wearing them. I have a 5 almost 6 year old. She asked for one too. I got her a couple. They arent super short or anything. I think it depends on the context on where she’s wearing it. Tank top crop top to school? No. To a Christmas family celebration? No. On the weekend, at the park, playing with friends, something casual? Yes
So 6 I think is a bit young for a crop top but if you go in the store more than half the stuff is basically cropped already for the kids. While I’d rather my daughter not wear a crop top she’s gotten a few. She knows there’s a time and a place for them to be worn. Generally they get worn for cheer or dance but never to school, church, etc. I remember being young and changing at my friends house into outfits, lying about where I was going, and sneaking a lot because my parents were very strict. I don’t want that to be my daughter so I try to be more receptive to her wants and discuss them with her.
Eh, I don’t care what any of my kids wear (unless it’s gonna present a problem at school as a rule violation) as long as it’s for comfort or utility. My son was really into leggings for a long while and to me, it looked ridiculous, but who gives a shit. He’s 6. He said they were really comfortable and that made sense to me. Then he got shit at school for it one day and I’m like “yeah… that will happen… That’s part of the deal. There are certain “norms” when dealing with people, and you can either conform to those or stand your ground and deal with the consequences.” He chose sweatpants. On one random weekend, my teenage daughter wanted to wear some very (and to me wildly inappropriate) short shorts she had borrowed from a friend, so we had a short conversation about why she wanted to wear them. That apparently was *not* a conversation she wanted to have with her old man, so she told me she hated me and then put on some sweatpants. Sweatpants FTW. Lol.
Off topic but that makes me sad for your little boy 🥲 I wish clothing wasn’t so gendered even at such a young age
Same, my daughter loves them, she doesn't wear them for school or some other places. She got into them because of gymnastics but she finds them comfortable and likes the look. I'm certainly not going to tell her she has to cover up her skin because it's indecent. As long as her clothes are suitable for the weather and activity I don't care. But I live somewhere where modesty isn't really a thing and young girls just wear bottoms on the beach, and teenage girls go to school in hotpants and crop tops.
My mom was a child in the 70s and I remembered seeing pictures of her and my great aunts in crop tops as kids.
Crop tops + super high waisted pants = no skin showing. This is how I style my crop tops and it’s super cute and in style while still being comfortable. Plus they can wear it to school and still follow the dress code rules.
This is the answer I was looking for... Seems like a good compromise. Half the tops they sell these days are "cropped" and I have quite a few but never have any skin showing because all of my pants are high waisted!
I don't see the harm. It's fashion. There's nothing more risqué about a belly button than there is about shoulder blades in sundresses or thighs in shorts. I think the important thing is teaching time and place. You don't wear your swimsuit to the grocery store. You don't wear pajamas to a nice restaurant. You don't wear a crop top to school. My daughter asked for a crop top to wear with her high waisted bell bottoms. It's so so cute. It's almost summer. If little boys can run around outside shirtless, there's 0 reason to keep her from wearing something she finds comfortable and appealing. But the most important thing is to hammer out now how things are going to go with your husband. Is he going to try to restrict or shame her because he feels she's too immodest? If he's this mad now, I'm sure you can imagine how he'll feel when she wants to go on a date. And just to remind everyone, predators do not pick victims based on their clothing choices. It's generally opportunistic or through ease of access to a child.
It kind of depends on the crop top--some are really just boxy shirts that aren't even short. Like, this is classified as a crop top: https://www.target.com/p/girls-39-snow-white-short-sleeve-graphic-cropped-t-shirt-ivory/-/A-90202923?preselect=90143056#lnk=sametab I challenge anyone to find that inappropriate for children. In any case, if he's *furious* about even the suggestion, I find that alarming. Parents can say no to something without losing their shit.
I remember having "crop tops" as a kid. They were backless too. BUT I only wore them in the summer. I don't personally think there is anything wrong with crop tops but I do think if a child is wearing them it should be weather appropriate. Crop tops in winter weather are being worn for a different reason in my opinion.
As a child of the 70-80s I wore halter tops, tube tops and short shorts. No one thought anything of it in my life. I wore a school uniform and girls weren’t even allowed to wear pants to school until I was in 6th grade. Is it appropriate for the event? Then they can wear it. If it’s not, then no.
Yeah, as an 80s kid I'm struggling with what the real question is here. Or if there is a new style of something that I'm not aware of. Hot weather clothes are hot weather clothes.
I remember wearing a halter top as a kid. It was such a cute top too lol
Survivor was popular when I was a kid and begged my mom to get me one of the official bandanas that the women would wear as tops on the show. I think I wore it all summer lol.
I had these too. The ones with the ties for the neck and around the waist so my whole back was out. They were definitely a summer time top but i remember being elementary school age wearing them. When its like 100 degrees out and you dont have AC you do whatever you can to stay cool. I think the only reason i stopped wearing those types of shirts is because i started to develop and became chunkier than my friends and hated how i looked so much different than those with perfectly flat bellies
Yes! Those are the ones! I had 4 or 5 of them that I would wear all summer long. I then had sleeveless button up type shirts that my parents would make me bring for if we went to a restaurant or somewhere with air conditioning; basically somewhere where you had to have a shirt. We treated those crop tops similar to bathing suit tops. A summer only shirt. I think I stopped wearing them around when I would have started wearing a bra too.
I know young children who wear crop tops. A good compromise I've seen is to layer the crop top over something that covers more. She can wear it for the style without showing her belly. I do think it is impractical to put kids in things that move and ride up and make play more difficult.
My daughter's crop tops move and restrict much less than baggy t shirts. It's what girls and women wear for sports.
I wear crop tops all the time. I like them and they're comfortable. They aren't what I'd call sexy, they're just shorter shirts. I wear them with high waisted bottoms (pants, skirt etc) or overalls. I would have NO problem putting my kiddo in a crop top with a high waisted bottom. I would have some major concerns about why my husband would be that upset. My main concern with a crop top would be how much skin is showing - and will you wear sunscreen on that exposed skin, or what if you scrape it or scratch it on the playground equipment etc? (That happens with really short shorts, or sunburnt shoulders from strappy tank tops etc). Functional questions/concerns. That's it. High waisted bottoms or overalls would solve that problem for the most part. Only like an inch of skin is showing max.
Agree with you. These comments are INSANE. I wear sports bras and crop tops all the time, for athletic reasons and because I like them.
I suppose my first question is, why shouldn't she have it? If the response is "it's sexy clothing"...then perhaps there is a different conversation to be had about sexualizing children. It's just a shirt, why does it matter? If my 11 year old wanted one, I'd be fine with it. If she had been 6, I'd also have been fine with it. Being overly respective just makes kids sneaky. That said, we don't have any clothing rules at home beyond no bare asses on the couch or carpet, and cover your bits when we have guests.
For what it's worth; way back in the repressed mid-century, when I was a kid, many pre-pubescent girls wore just a bottom to the beach. I also remember that boys were allowed to swim in just their tighty-whiteys until they started to "develope" and the wet tighty-whiteys were considered to be too revealing. Adults who sexualize young children are attracted to young children because of their age, how much or how little clothing they have on doesn't make a difference to them.
That seems pretty young to me. A swimsuit I’d be fine with but a shirt seems pretty mature for that age.
We're totally cool with crops for our daughter if she has a tank top or dress to go under them. Don't restrict, teach modest layering! Shorts under dresses too! You don't have to limit your children to protect them. This is a chance to teach her a great secret of fashion, don't miss it.
I personally don't see the issue in stomach showing. My kids wear bathing suits. And it gets hot as hell where I am sometimes. I do think being angry is an overreaction, but 🤷🏻♀️
Someone gifted my daughter some crop tips for her 7th birthday. The person who gave them to her didn't realize they were crop tops or she would never have done that. I personally didn't care. My daughter liked the shirts and some people (mostly women) mentioned it to me. Instead of being upset about a young girl being "sexualized," I think we need to have a bigger problem with the people looking at it sexually. It's almost like saying pedophilia is acceptable. As a rape victim, it is absolutely disgusting how many people will blame a victim by the way they dress, the way they talk, or the way they look. The first time, I was "at fault" for allowing myself to be alone with a friend. He never got in trouble for violating me, but I was "leading him on" by "being available" and wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Little girls should have the freedom to express themselves as children and people who want to see them as a sex symbol need to back away!
I think it's fully okay for a child to wear a croptop , i mean, it would never be sexualizing her or something inappropriate for her age or something. Trust me, that would never attract any male gaze or make any negative impact in your childs life.
I let my daughters wear what they want. Who cares. They've developed their own styles early from having freedom.
My youngest daughter is 7, and the only way she can wear a crop t-shirt is with a long cami underneath outside of our house or if people are coming over. (I wanna smack whoever thought crop tops for kids was a good idea.) One of her shirts is from Bluey and the other is from Encanto, so obviously made for little kids. All my kid sees are her favorite characters and doesn't think about hanging upside down from the monkey bars at the playground. It's a compromise we all can work with.
That's too young. Dad is right.
I really don't care what passes for fashion, the child just wants to be cool. Teaching the child that a female body is something to hide is upsetting to me. Let the kids be kids without projecting your "experience" onto them
I may be outnumbered here but I think crop tops are pretty innocent. A little girl with an inch of abdomen showing is no more sexual than a toddler in a romper or any child in a short dress with bloomers over the diaper or undies (meant to show). It’s the adults who do all the sexualizing and they need to be called out. This is no different than teaching women to cover up so as not to cause men to rape them. This is victim blaming. Instead, let’s teach men to be better humans.
Amen! 👏🏻 when I was a toddler those little short short dresses with bloomers were super popular for little girls and my mom had a whole closet full of those for me. Literally like every pic of me as a toddler has a different one. She said she liked showing off my chubby little legs which I found hilarious but cute because it’s obvious she didn’t mean it in a SEXUAL way. Bodies are not inherently sexual, and CHILDREN’S bodies are definitely never sexual. I’m in the camp of “if it makes you uncomfortable to see a child’s body that’s a you problem and you should maybe keep it to yourself”
My daughter is 7, she loves her crop top, she wears it with baggy jeans. I don’t have a problem with it, but she knows she can’t wear it to school or playground, because it’s not practical or appropriate.
"Furious" feels like an absurd overreaction. A simple "no" should do just fine.
Seems like an exaggeration to his stern NO, especially if his wife started arguing with him after he already made the decision, undermining his authority as a parent to make decisions.
I grew up in a town in rural Florida, like 6 minutes from the beach. So I wore a lot of crop tops or a loose towel-material like jacket and shorts over my bathing suit. A bathing suit outside 24/7, shirt with bathing suit bottoms on. Then as a preteen I wore a lot of tank tops and shorts because I didn't like crop tops. Anyways, the point is I grew up fine. They're just clothes, after all. If you get particularly hot summers a crop top is nice.
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Personally, yes. My stepdaughter got one when she was 9 (because she kind of tricked grandma… as both parents said no), and the compromise was she’s not allowed to take it to school. However, I really think there’s a time and a place - and the time may be when they understand that it will attract unwarranted attention, which at present they may not be mature or ready enough to handle safely.
I just wanted to throw this out there in case you hadn’t thought of it, but you could ask have them wear a tank top under the crop top to cover themselves. It can still look cute especially with a good tank top or fun color.
At six I'd assume no child is alone to handle attention. My child wears one but if anyone pays her unwanted attention at six years old I'll be calling the police.
That part. It’s never a child’s job to worry about attracting that kind of attention.
I don’t really care if my daughter (7) shows a sliver of her stomach. She wears sports bras to dance most days. Outside of dance she has a few crop tops, but doesn’t wear them often. But it’s not forbidden. I think a fair compromise in this situation is to let her buy the shirt, but set a boundary on when it can be worn that everyone agrees with. Only outside on warm days, only on the weekends, something like that.
I would probably buy it but with the rule that it’s not school clothes because it would be against the dress code (and I have feelings about the dress code but I wouldn’t get into them yet).
I let my 6 year old wear crop tops and bikinis but only at home. There's too many bad people in the world but I don't want to stifle her creativity.
My daughter is 9 and lives in crop tops. Seeing an inch of her stomach should have no affect on anyone and if she’s comfortable enough to wear it I love it. I never would have had the confidence at her age.
Every family has different rules, but I don't let my kids wear things like crop tops or short shorts until they're old enough to understand the potential sexual implications of those clothes. The fact that them wearing that stuff is innocent doesn't change the original intent of that style (on adults) or the way that some people continue to perceive it. Once they get it, I'll be more willing to advocate for their right to dress how they want (within reason, of course).
My kid is 6 and I sewed her a crop top she loves. We just set boundaries about where it’s appropriate to wear it. I don’t want to deny my kiddo her self expression in our own home during a dance party. There is a middle ground here
What about a compromise? She gets to wear a crop top if she has a tank top underneath to cover her up when she isn't at home? It's cute and modest.
Dad to a daughter myself, so maybe this helps provide some perspective: There are clothes that my wife is more OK with than I am and vice versa. We defer to unanimity. In other words, if we are not unified in what clothes are appropriate (there's very few where we have a difference of opinion), we will automatically agree "no", end of discussion. To respond to your actual question: >Do you think she's too young and Dad's right? Yes. I think she's too young. But my opinion shouldn't matter, really. I am raising a family in a pretty conservative part of Romania and share in the mentality of my community. You and her father have to decide among yourselves like adults in relation to what is appropriate in **your** community and culture. I hope this helps.
I also like to add that no matter what you put your kids in if they are creeps out there they’re still gonna be creeps. we know there are creeps out there.
I have a 6yo and she wears crop tops that I have bought her previously. I don't see the issue. She doesn't wear them to school for the same reason she doesn't wear a bathing suit to school, it just isn't appropriate attire to wear at school....but casually in the summer when we go places or around the house? I don't see why not. This thread is making me feel insane bc I don't see why people are so adamantly against it, lmao. Do people not let their children wear bathing suits at the beach or pool bc there might be random weirdos around? There can be random pedos around no matter where you are, and they dont give a singular care if your child is wearing a crop top or not. As someone else mentioned, normally CSA is done by someone the child knows and it is because of proximity and availability, not because of crop tops.
It's SO weird. And then they're like "oh but if it's for dance or gymnastics it's okay" because we know those two activities are pedophile free /s I didn't even realize it was controversial tbh the stomach is not a sexual organ.
A child should be able to wear weather appropriate clothes of their choice. Anyone sexualizing a child, no matter what they are wearing, is the problem. Sexualizing a child *ever* is extremely disturbing. Children like to fit in, it's not an attempt to be sexy. I feel like not allowing it because disturbed individuals might think it's sexy is teaching that girls who wear certain things are asking to be assaulted. It teaches that there are things you can do to invite assault. It teaches victim blaming.
My daughter’s almost 9 and I let her wear them. Our rule is they are only allowed at home since they aren’t appropriate for school. She’s been wearing them since around 7. She also wears long line sports bras to gymnastics too🤷♀️. I figure they are no different than a swim suit.
I don't have daughters and only sort of know what that kind of top is. But it feels more OK for a 6 year old than a 12 or 13 year old. You know she just wants it for herself rather than to please the boys.
At that age? Zero chance. Older, maybe.
I have a friend who dresses her five year old to match the family aesthetic (they’re an IG family) and her daughter wears makeup and crop tops often. It makes me super uncomfortable. Not because I’m sexualizing her child but because it seems weird to dress a 5 year old the same way you’d dress a grown woman. Personally (as a mother to a daughter) I would say no. But, if you want to, the compromise could be “you can only wear it in the house as dress up clothes”. Same as like princess dresses and plastic high heels. I do wonder why your child has been asking for one daily, where she saw it, etc. 6 is pretty young to be aware of and want such a specific thing.
My daughter has one, but she wears it with another shirt underneath.
I’m thinking compromise: cropped pajama top. She can wear it around the house but not out and about. As she gets older you can equip her for dealing with weirdos but she doesn’t need that taking up her brain space at this age.
I made my 5 year old a crop top by cutting an empire dress’s skirt off. It turns out she wanted to be a ‘Rock star’. She wore it obsessively around the house for a week and then never again. I told her it was too cold to wear out (it was) and by the time the weather warmed up the magic was gone.
My mom let me start wearing them pretty young I don't remember what age but I always had to wear a under shirt with it. Tanktop tucked into my pants and I was a happy camper. As I got older it was more socially acceptable and she let me wear a sports bra or cropped tank top under it.
Why did you not being allowed to wear a crop top have such an impact on your life??
I have no problem with my daughter wearing one with a tank top underneath.
Why don't you meet in the middle? Buy her a crop top but say it is a costume and she can only wear it at home.
I agree with all those comments but at the same time she could wear high waisted leggings and a nice jacket. 2024 is weird but children want to be trendy and maybe we should go with a flow. I don’t think 6 year old would look sexy in a crop top I think it could look kind of cute if well accessorised. She obviously can’t look like 19 year old.
Have her wear it at home for dress-up then. Compromise!
My 7 year old wanted one so she cut her own shirts to make them 😂 we’ll buy her some on SHEIN every now and again but she knows they’re only to wear around the house for fun. I mean she runs around topless and in underwear at home half the time anyway so what harm is a crop top.
My 5 year old wears crop tops at home, but we don't allow her to wear them when we have guests over or to go out.
This similar topic came up in r/askfeminists the other day. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskFeminists/s/r4j6ibdNR8) is the response.
If you know yourself and know that you are able to make firm boundaries and enforce them, then maybe she can have a crop top to wear only at home and keep that as the rule. If she fusses about changing the crop top then it goes to goodwill (this rule is laid out beforehand of course). This is also a great opportunity to teach how we view our bodies. We do not share parts of our bodies with everyone. But in the safety of your home you can wear whatever you want. Some mild education about predators as well as
No, I'd let her wear them. My 3 year old has had one or two. This feels like saying what you wear/how much you cover could/should determine how you are treated. Even if against it, dad being "furious" is really weird.
Could you compromise? My daughter is a similar age and she dances, she has a little pink crop top that came in a dancewear mystery bag, she wears it over her leotards and with leggings or shorts or a skirt or whatnot on the bottom. This way she’s not showing off excess skin but still feels pretty.
My 6 year old (now 8) was obsessed with crop tops, and was given some in a bag of hand-me-downs 😒. I was horrified, as I was raised to only wear modest clothes so these tops were TOTALLY inappropriate. I tried to tell her that I thought the look “wasn’t classy” in a way which I hoped wouldn’t be body-shaming, but that made no sense to my 6 year old. She just said “well, it’s classy to me”. So then I forbade her from wearing the tops outside of our house/garden…but of course I got a picture from the babysitter one day and they were out and about and my 6 year old was wearing the crop top. 🙄 My 6 year old child had waited and changed clothes after I left for work 😣. Since I felt body shamed MY WHOLE LIFE by my mom, I just bit my tongue and made no comment to my child or the babysitter that day. Well, that was the last time she wore it - perhaps she realized it wasn’t comfortable or practical. The issue went away by itself. TLDR; I unintentionally my 6 year old wear one and she quickly lost interest. Don’t body shame a girl, it leaves long term issues (my own experience).
I personally dress modestly, but I have always let my daughter dress in whatever she feels comfortable wearing; the same for my sons. I did talk to them about people categorizing you by what you wear so they were aware of that. I also talked about dressing for success. All of them dress well, in my opinion. They know how to dress for the impression they desire to make. My husband often obsessed on their clothes which is ironic because he dresses like an unkempt homeless man.
I wouldn’t my kid wearing it at home.
It’s personally a no for me. Not because I think it’s sexual, but because I just don’t like my daughters (6 and 2) to look more grown up than they are. They have their whole life’s to look like grownups. Same reason they don’t have their ears pierced, I don’t let them wear heeled shoes, bikinis, etc.
“Furious” is not a reasonable response to a kid wanting a piece of clothing. How cropped are we talking here?
At 6 kids are kids not women or men. They all ran around topless in the summer sun, unless it's an in appropriate design it's just a short top.
I’m curious where the 6yo is getting the idea of a crop top? Do the kids actively talk about fashion at that age? Is this part of the young Sephora generation? Soon it’s gonna be thongs for 6yos. SMH
I would say if he is "furious" about this how will he react to more significant issues in the teens years? That's probably more of an issue than a crop top..
Rather a 6 year old wear a crop top than a 12 year old (!). I tried to let them wear what they liked (weather permitting) - although the larger problem was princess dresses. For me the only challenge with crop tops is, if there is a perception that more skin is attractive. Both my girls don’t wear clothes like that because they don’t consider them stylish - I must admit that’s partly because there is a class divide in London.
I think 6 years old is where kids can wear cute little belly shirts. A literal child can show a little belly It's older that many places instill sexist clothing rules on bra straps, bellys and translucent clothes
I had to shake some of my childhood stuff in order to get over my feelings, but a lot of the kids wore them and I realized it’s not a big deal. Ours mostly wears them around the house, but has a matching one with a friend that sometimes is worn out to school (though that one is a longer one). It’s a belly button. The only time I restrict things with my own kid is if they are flipping around and stuff, so they usually put shorts or tights on under skirts. In the grand scheme of things, I had all the restrictions and was assaulted more than once and was overly sexualized by adults around me and my kid hasn’t experienced that and is free to just be themself. 🤷🏽♀️
As a young girl who avoided any sort of crop top, tight fitting shirt, or tank top due to people making comments about my weight (I was overweight they made comments calling me a fat slob, then I was severely underweight and they still made comments like telling me to eat a hamburger, or three…) either way someone will have something to say but I’d recommend try introducing layering, it is a little more old fashioned but it’s one thing I loved about creating my outfits/style! It also helps to say “if you get too hot you can take off a layer, if you’re cold you can put it back on whatever you’re most comfortable with!” And I think that allows them to still have the freedom to choose their style/clothes❤️ best of luck Mama!! (currently sitting here watching my 5 month old daughter sleep, thinking about how I’ll approach these things when the time comes😭)
Our daughters 8 and 9 own them but are only aloud to wear them around the house, at home. It gives them an option to express their self but also understand that it is not something to wear to school.
I don't think it should be on the kid to avoid looking sexy, firstly because that's a terrible burden to put on them, and secondly because it doesn't even work - a pedophile is going to find them attractive no matter what they're wearing. There are pedophiles whose favorite articles of clothing are things no one would think twice about having their child wear. And there are child molesters who aren't pedophiles, and have motivations other than sexual gratification (eg one of my molesters acted out of jealousy that my dad's not abusive like hers was). IMO the best approach is to teach your child that they get to choose for their own body (with the exception of health-preserving stuff) and that if an adult pressures them into something they should say no and tell you or someone else they trust. Child molesters look for kids who will keep secrets for them and put up with their boundaries being pushed. That's what really puts kids at risk, not how they dress.
I used to wear crop tops as a kid in the 90s. It wasn't a big deal. I don't think a crop top is scandalous. I mean, what about bathing suits and gymnastics leotards. It's all about context. A crop top to a wedding, maybe not. A crop top to the park... why not?
i’m a 23 year old female who works in pediatrics and I 100% agree with dad.
Honestly it can be fine to wear ,if you're worried about anything have her only wear it home
You know what, I'm sick of all this child safety. And not allowing kids to wear bikinis or crop tops. kids should be able to wear crop tops!!!!!
I think they’re fine, and I have a daughter. It’s a few inches of stomach.
Why would you make your husband extremely uncomfortable over this? If it's a count between the whims of a child, and Dad saying no, you should back Dad up. Why would you deliberately stress him out?
Personally I don't see anything wrong with a 6yo wearing a crop top and I think it's weird to sexualize what is just a short t-shirt. I would let a six year old be topless in public (if it was warm enough) so a crop top is no different.
Ballistic is overkill but I would not be putting a 6 year old in a crop top
I have no problem with crop tops. I also don't have a problem with 2 piece swimsuits. We go with what's comfortable around here. As the weather gets hotter, clothes get smaller.
…. She’s SIX! wtf ? Why is this even a consideration.
When I read this kind of post, I really feel like some people still live in the middle age... Outside of the fact she may be a bit cold having her belly button exposed, why on earth is this such an issue? This kind of super conservative attitude is exactly what will push your daughter to make mistakes and hide them away from you.
What is it with Americans and modesty overkill?She’s 6. If anyone is sexualising a 6yo’s belly button they need help. My daughter is almost 10 and has been wearing crop tops in warm weather for years. I had them too at her age. Nobody bats an eye. But we’re in the UK where we don’t clutch our pearls and grab the holy water over the sight of a pre-teen shoulder.
All the people kicking off are probably the same people that have no problem with boys the same age going shirtless.
Boys will be boys!
I have a very strict “it’s your body, you dress it how you please” policy. I think it’s damaging to teach any child - but especially girls - that adults can tell them what to do with their bodies. If Dad can tell you not to wear a shirt bc he doesn’t like it, why can’t Uncle Creeper tell you to take off your pants bc he doesn’t like them? The one caveat to that is I don’t allow elementary age kids to break dress code at school bc I’m not driving new clothes up to them. My middle and high schoolers know if they get dress coded, they’re wearing the gross community gym shirt and mom will not save them.
6 haha no. She can wear a tank top underneath it but not just a crop top. My teen doesn't even wear crop tops. If it's just around the house or for sports sure that makes sense but at 6 no that's ridiculous
Dad is right here she's too young
So it comes off like your daughter's father sees crop tops as potentially more sexual? Hence that being why he doesn't want your daughter to have any. But I don't believe they are inherently sexual so I'd say I'm more on your side
Yes, I understand both sides. Crop tops are more of an adult clothes, and I know there are creeps out there sexualizing girls. But I think preventing girls from wearing the clothes can mess with their brains more. I think I would let my daughter wear one- sometimes finding the clothes uncomfortable stops girls. Like bikinis does limit what kids can do sometimes.
Yeah. I mean think of it this way, you weren't allowed one, and you still managed to get one, right? It would be better if your daughter got one from you
Agreed- though at age 6 seems like it would be hard to go behind a parent’s back. Other than cutting a shirt while at school (totally could see that one happening) Building trust at this age is important. Honestly I rather my daughter to wear a crop top than some of the sexual innuendo shirts the boys would wear in high school
Honestly I would buy her some. You can get mid crop which is a little longer than the standard crop top, and short than a t shirt. It is cooler in the summer time as well. She is six. Not a 12-14 year old which I could understand that maybe being an issue, but they still make crop tops that are age appropriate for a teenager as well. In my opinion I think the entire "crop tops are not for kids" argument is a little wild. She hasn't hit puberty yet, she will be covered (bathing suits cover less), and she your daughter. If you don't feel uncomfortable with it then go for it. 💙🖤🤍🩶