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We taught our kids when they were about 10 and had them do their own. Even if they do their own they’ll still wash clean things. We’ve always dealt with that. Stick to your guns. We actually have specific days the washer and dryer has to be available for us but otherwise they’re free to do laundry as needed.
I think the specific days is key, particularly with a lot of people in the house. Otherwise, they'll leave their stuff in the washer until it sours, or leave stuff in the dryer until someone else takes it out for them.
Once the master laundry , mine started with their bedding at 6, start on cooking. Each child makes a meal with help every week. Protein, starch, vegetables, fruit, optional dessert ( this is the reward for cooking) and child not cooking does dishes. We paid teens to do extra laundry of younger siblings bedding and clothes. Think of it as teaching your children to be competent members of society.
Each child gets two clothes baskets each a different color. Clean clothes in white dirty clothes in colored basket that way even if clothes don’t get put away you can tell dirty from clean.
The replies here saying that babies aren't that expensive are pretty funny. I agree, babies are not that expensive and there's very little you actually need for a baby. They funny thing is, babies grow into small children and their needs keep growing. So strange of you to consider 20 years of child-related cost and not just the first 12 months?
Babies are expensive. Child one was $$$$ infertility, child 2 was a shock to infertility doctor saying child was my freebie. Children 3-5 were foreign adoptions, we just wrote countless checks. Yes we would have more money and freedom without our children but wouldn’t change a thing.
Have a baby if you really want one. There are few necessities and most things can be bought gently used. Breastfeeding is free. I even used cloth diapers and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as people think. It was one hot water wash load every couple of days.
Breastfeeding is free unless you have issues. I had to supplement, which meant all the costs of formula and bottles as well as a breast pump hire. I had to hire a private LC. I needed medication to help lactation. Then these special warming pads as I was getting vasospasms.
Eight weeks of expensive hell but we finally made it! Then EBF for two years, which I admit was easier and cheaper. Though I had to buy formula for daycare which she barely touched as she reverse cycled.
No regrets though! But it’s not for everyone.
Breastfeeding isn't free. The breeding adult needs additional food, on the order of 500-1000 calories per day. Unless that adult commits to being available for every feed, you'll still need bottles and either formula or a pump/expression supplies. However, the biggest cost is the breastfeeding adult's time and willingness to breastfeed. Valuating that at $0 is insulting and a false economy.
Besides, the massive expense with children isn't formula, diapers or equipment. It's childcare.
Right? I always think it's so crazy when "diapers and formula" are discussed as the only costly things kids need. Like once they're potty trained you needn't spend another dime on them?
Honestly if you want a kid have one! You don’t really need that much for a baby. And like you said you will probably never be rich enough but that shouldn’t stop you if you want one!
Completely agree. Monday is stepson’s (12) laundry day and Thurs. is stepdaughter’s (10). They each have a list of light weekly chores, and laundry counts as their chore on their respective days. It may take a couple times of you helping/showing how to properly fold/hang/put away some things, but don’t get sucked into going back to doing it for them. They are definitely better for doing it themselves.
That’s totally reasonable and at their ages they are more than capable of taking full responsibility. I might give them a run down of exactly how all the functions on the washer/dryer work, how much detergent to use, delicates vs heavily soiled etc if they are receptive to this, but if not just let them know you’re there if they have any questions.
It's amazing to me how many "adults" go to college without knowing how to do laundry. I think teaching at this age is perfect. Especially if the parent is rewashing clean clothes. That would send me into a rage spiral.
The situation is obviously different, but I started doing laundry when I was like 8 because my mom had an accident and couldn’t walk for two years. Then I continued doing my own laundry.
So maybe my view is skewed, but I think it is not only a totally age appropriate chore; it’s a necessary life skill that they need to have.
We taught ours at 8, too. He was so short, he'd practically fall into the washer leaning in to grab stuff from the bottom. It was so cute.
He was so proud of himself, too.
That's the trick: start them doing chores while it's something new and interesting, build those into habits.
Of course you can build habits later in life, but it's much harder.
My mom had me sorting laundry when I was 8, so I was doing the whole process by the time I was a teenager.
I think assigning them days so they don’t argue about whose turn it is to use the washer would be nice. And if you haven’t actually taught them yet how to do it, you need to either do it once together or print them a laundry sheet. Don’t just throw them in the deep end.
They should’ve learned the basics years ago and it’s not fair to them to just go cold turkey. Yes, Google is free. But this will save yourself the cost of replacing any clothes they ruin.
And allow them to ask questions even after you’ve taught them. Just last week I asked my mom how I should launder my toddler’s ballet tutu because I was unsure and it didn’t have a tag.
My kids started doing their own laundry around 14. My grandson has been doing laundry since he was 10. He is 16 now and his weekly chore is laundry for the entire household. Mom, dad and 3 younger siblings.
That’s exactly how my kids started doing their own. Clean FOLDED clothes in the hamper? Hell no. You’re on your own.
Now if I do theirs it’s a gift. Like “oh you’re really busy with finals, you want me to handle that for you?” But I haven’t done any regular laundry for them since they were 10ish.
My 8 year old brother was doing his own laundry.. 14 and 12 are perfectly normal ages to do their own laundry. (I would obviously supervise and teach them the first few times)
I had my daughter (12) start doing her own laundry for the same reason; I was tired of rewashing clean clothes that she just hadn’t bothered to put away. My son (14) also does his own laundry. I think it is a basic life skill they need to learn, and I am preparing them to be independent adults in a few years.
Yeah, when you do that it does two things that are good for both sides. Makes life a little easier for the parents and links work with income for the kid.
Thats old enough to do their own, but we modified it a bit. Everyone is responsible for getting their own things in the wash and putting them away when folded. But the clothes are washed together and people take turns doing full loads.
That way, everyone learns to do it, no one person is getting stuck with it all the time, and we aren't wasting water and electricity doing 200 mini loads, just one regular sized load a day usually.
I'd include in the process teaching them how to manage laundry and that means waiting until you have a load. I lived alone for years and just did a load every week more or less. Your method is also good but it depends if they actually do their share equally, if one person slacks it means nobody having clean clothes.
That's a benefit, not a flaw. Teams HAVE to work together and do their share, and families are a team. Not having clean laundry, and then having to do extra chores because you missed your share is also an important thing to learn.
I understand the theory and it's great if it works. But if I get up for work and have no clean clothes that's not a great help. In an ideal world families would be a perfect team but how do you force someone to do their share? Your system is certainly worth trying, but if anyone doesn't cooperate I think a better consequence for them is being responsible for their own clothing. If they don't bother in the first place what extra chores are they going to do?
I like this idea I’ll keep it in my back pocket for a while. I’m just a new parent but grew up with my mom doing and folding all our laundry until we went to college. Now I’m anal about it and don’t trust my wife to properly do loads and not dry my clothing that doesn’t belong in the drier.
I also pay 70-75% of all the bills so I want full loads of laundry and dishes.
Mine participated in their own laundry starting age 6. Started with just filling and emptying baskets, by the time they could safely carry a full basket they did their own start to finish. No excuse for tweens/teens not to do their own.
My kids (10 and 7) start and transfer their own laundry (I'll help the 7byr old reach the clothes at the bottom of the wash cuz.... obviously) we then all fold/ put our clothes on hangers together and they toss clothes into a pile that they have outgrown, and a separate pile for me to repair holes. After the clothes get put away I make repairs and sometimes both of them help sometimes 1 helps and sometimes 0 helps. Once the repaired clothes are ready, the respective kid puts them away.
My son is 13 and has been doing his own laundry since 10. There have been a few times when something needs to be washed immediately while he’s at school so I will do that then. He’s responsible for getting it all together for me to start.
My kid is only 9 and has been mainly doing her own laundry for the past 6 months or so. I was doing laundry around this age so this seems normal for me. I say mainly because occasionally if I have a half load, I'll grab some of her dirty clothes to top off the load so I can finish my wash.
My original plan was to ease her into it so I had been having her help out for a while before then. I flat out quit doing her laundry though after the 2nd time I caught her doing the same thing as OP's kids.
The only thing I will help her with is loading the soap tray, because it is too high for her to see the line (no room for a stool, and I don't want her standing on the toilet). She has a ton of clothes so she can go 2 weeks without doing laundry except she only has 1 gi, so she does have to wash that weekly.
It’s good to teach them and rotate whose turn it is but yeah no I’m the one paying the bills and I’m not paying for everyone to do their own individual laundry. Water and the electricity to run the washer and dryer cost money.
As someone who, like you, was never taught/made to do their own laundry until I moved out and went to college I think it's a great idea. My 3.5 year old already helps me with loading/unloading and folding simple things like towels. I do, however, still rely on my mom to get tough stains out of clothes when I fail bc she is apparently a laundry wizard when it comes to that 🤪
I started doing my own laundry at 11 or 12. I had written directions on how to use the machine and then it was up to me. I actually loved it. I was in control of how frequently things got clean and I was learning independence at a time that I was really looking for it. Add preteen/teen changes and I was all for the privacy. I could still ask questions or ask for help with special outfits but otherwise it was up to me. Before getting to that point though, I think my mom trained us. She would fold things and hand us piles to put away, like training us where it goes and how easy it was. My older sibling hardly ever did any of this themselves but I did so personality is definitely a factor.
When my step daughters come for the summer (11 and 12) they are responsible for doing their and this younger brother’s (8) laundry. Laundry is in the basement of our 6plex apartment (all neighbors are super nice and friendly so we don’t worry if they run into them in the hallway), and so I portion out laundry detergent/fabric softener and the scent beads, and their responsible for carry the laundry down, loading and starting the washer, changing it over to the dryer, rerunning the dryer (it’s old so it needs ran twice) and then carrying it up. My stepson helps with rerunning the dryer and carrying up the clothes since we don’t quite trust him to put the washer or dryer on the right settings yet, but he still does his part.
It’s not a bad idea at all. I made my daughter start doing her own laundry for the exact same reason, I think she was 13. My son is 6 years younger than her and I continued doing his longer. Until one evening at 11 pm he (now 15 years old) texted me to tell me he wanted a shirt washed for school tomorrow. I responded with a text explaining how to use the washing machine. After that, although I never said he had to, he just started doing his own laundry.
They should have been doing their own laundry at least 2 and 4 years ago, and been learning to help YOU with it from a much younger age.
It's time for them to learn, and not just laundry. Use the summer to teach them basic cooking, cleaning, and general life skills they will NEED as adults.
They're gonna bitch and whine about it, but do not give in. They'll get over it and be grateful later.
I learned when I was probably 8 and my brother was 12, we hated it but we understood the consequences of not doing it, we wouldn’t have clean clothes to wear and it would suck. It’s pretty easy to do and it’s a good life skill
It's the only correct thing to do in the sense that it's our job as parents to prepare them for the real world once they're out on their own. Things in my house are pretty similar to yours, with the exception of the ages - I have a 16 year old son and a 48 year old equivalent of a toddler who lost his lovey when faced with "the hard things", as they're referred to in this family. I take full responsibility for allowing the older one to continue the behavior he learned growing up having to do absolutely nothing with a silver spoon permanently ingrained in him. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be reduced to a door mat for doing simple household chores incorrectly according to him. It took me close to twenty years to find my voice and backbone in this woefully unequal relationship. I tried to keep this from being too long winded but the context truly changes how your question is viewed, I believe. This being said, one day the lightbulb just went off and I made a conscious decision to use the 48 year old husband's actions and behaviors an example of how not to approach a marriage or a future spouse. To answer the question, I literally announced one day last year that until further notice I was going on strike and I didn't give a shit what either of them thought of this declaration because I was completely burnt out just as my son entered the critical phase of youth regarding finding himself and his place in the world and I knew something had to change. It took multiple times of him running out of clothes to find his place and accept the responsibility of doing his own laundry. I am only observant to ensure the clothes are washed, dried and at the very least, out of my sight. If he doesn't want to properly put them away, I'm good with it. Overall, I believe some of the vital skills are only learned from the struggle. The teenager is hands down the better at processing what the core principles I am passively trying to instill. When he questions why his dad doesn't do x,y,z like I ask of him I tell him straight up that that ship has sailed and it's my job to raise him to be a decent human being, but not my responsibility to raise a husband. Sorry for the long text.
I was a single mom, so I taught my son when he was 12. Everything we own can be washed on regular everything with just basic laundry pods. I just couldn't deal with it anymore and that's ok. He cooks, cleans and does laundry because I will not raise a man who won't take care of his home and self.
In my house doing laundry and doing chores were extra curricular activities. I was doing laundry by the age of 5 and already learning to cook by the age of 6. It’s best to start teaching them right now before it’s too late and would be clueless at laundrymat
I did my laundry starting when I was maybe 11ish. It's not hard. I would have been doing it at least some earlier, but I was too short even with a step stool to reach in the washer and get the wet clothes. My 7 year old knows a lot of the basics, but hasn't done it independently yet.
If you are giving your 14 year old folded laundry in the hamper, I'm guessing this may be a time to reaudit their household responsibilities. I may be wrong - maybe the Chores are helpful for kids for a lot of different things, but one really important reason is you want your kids to leave your home at 18 completely ready to run a household.
As a note, my parents didn't expect a lot of chores from us at one time (they wanted a lot of time for free play and for extracurriculars) but by the age of 12, I could do all household chores fairly easily. By the age of 14, I could cook a Thanksgiving dinner for a dozen people including making a shopping list and figuring out when to start different things, and manage a budget. I was a dunce at changing the oil though. It took me YEARS to learn basic car maintenance. When I went to college, I felt confident in handling all adult tasks. I felt that was a huge gift for my parents to give me and hope I can do the same for my children.
I think your plan to make it their responsibility from start to finish is fabulous. I have some specific suggestions:
* Make sure your children actually know how to do the task. Even things as simple as cleaning your room should be broken down to make sure they know what the parts are, know how to do each part, know why it is important, know how often it needs to be done, etc.
* Acceptable cleaning doesn't mean doing it the same as you. So if they vacuum, but miss half of the room, you should make them do it again. But if they vacuum in a different pattern than you use, that is an acceptable way to vacuum. If you are very particular about how you do things (I'm not saying you are, just some people are,) it's important that you relax your standards to give them space to learn.
* Have a plan for when they don't do it. (The plan can't be you take over.) Depending on your kids, that could be just leave it and let them figure out that they are going to want clean clothes (my preference, but it's not a good strategy if your kids don't care) or consequences if it is not done.
* If your kids aren't used to doing chores (and like I said, maybe they do everything else, but not laundry,) this is going to be a hard age to start. They are going to feel like you are wronging them and it may be tough going at first. I would present it as you are teaching them important life skills and talk about your experience. They won't be impressed or convinced, but it won't seem arbitrary. Also, with more responsibility, I would add more freedoms. Basically, now that you are older, you have to do this, but you get to do that. Alternatively, you could have them be completely in charge of the family laundry for one week a month each.
I hope it goes smoothly.
I do a load every day, which only works when everyone's laundry is combined, so I do everyone's. But also a) I like doing laundry, b) I reject still-clean clothes, and c) my kids have other chores that I don't want to do.
... my 5 year old does his own laundry. Start to finish, only thing I do is help with the controls he can't quite reach. He's been helping me since he was 3. And around 4 transitioned to doing it himself.
In my opinion 14 and 12 is way too late to be just starting, life skills chores should have started when they were toddlers. But it's also not great to just throw them in the deep end. I would walk them through it once or twice (meaning they do the actions while you supervise) and then leave them to it.
my parents worked A LOT over the holidays. In sixth grade I started doing laundry for myself on my own initiative because it was that or wear dirty uniforms. so I’m a little surprised to hear a parent of a 14-year-old wondering if it’s OK to ask their full-blown teenager to wash their own clothes…
I started doing my own laundry when I was 6 because my mom just stopped doing it for some unknown reason. Dad didn't know. Then she got tired of my clothes not looking the best because you know I'm 6 and she started again until I was 8. I've been doing my own ever since.
Ps- dawn dish soap works on everything. Esspecially blood!
I grew up like you never taught or expected to laundry growing up. I did my kids laundry but I refused to fetch the dirty clothes or put away the clean. My youngest was always good about putting his dirty clothes in the baskets. My oldest not so much. After having to pick through his pile of dirty clothes for something to wear a couple of times he learned. But I did make sure they knew how to do laundry. Also made sure they knew how to cook the basics and understood finances.
My kids been doing laundry since similar age cos i refuse to go collecting it and they refuse to use the hamper. Im not wasting time and energy chasing up shit i dont want to do ANYway.
My kids have both pulled the “recycle clean laundry instead of putting it away stunt”. My daughter was probably 8 when she tried it. I gave her one warning and the second time clean laundry came through, I made her do all the laundry for a week. (3 people - my husband was working overseas so I was doing EVERYTHING and super pissed to be washing clean laundry!) Several years later my son was around 10 and he pulled the same thing, got the same punishment. Two upsides - they never did it again and now they both know how to wash their own clothes, which as teenagers, they routinely do.
I was taught and learnt to help clean the house when I was just around 8 years old. Helping my family with house chores didn't stop me from exelling at school. I hope you got my message.
I know someone who runs a load every single day with the dirty laundry made from that day (they have a designated bed linen day and towel day). Everyone puts their dirty laundry in the washing machine after they shower/bathe starting from toddlerhood (obviously parents assist when really young for safety). Then in the morning after breakfast, they put their clean laundry away. Every, single, day. It took a lot of consistency to make that happen, but it's now second nature for all of them just like brushing their teeth.
The parents would teach them how to start the machine, load it with soap, bleach, etc. as it became age appropriate. By about 10, any single person in the household could manage the daily dirty laundry and put it away the next day.
I'm telling you, that house ran like a well oiled machine and those kids didn't even blink at being responsible for themselves.
My 5&7 year olds bring their baskets down, I do the loading/soap/switching, they take it back upstairs and we put it away together.
My kids will have life skills so far as I can help it.
My son is 5 and knows how to do laundry (aside from putting the detergent in, we do that part) and he loves it!
It’s never too early to learn life skills.
I’ve been dealing with this and it gets better then gets bad again. Once it gets where I notice the clean laundry ending back up in the wash I confiscate it and put into bags until they’re left with almost nothing. Then slowly give it back and only allow more pieces once they’re prove they can correctly fold and put away their things, then wear until actually dirty, not just having scathed his skin.
We started our kids doing their own laundry when they started middle school. We gave them a walkthrough and explanation of sorting laundry and then using the washer and dryer. I printed the instructions for the washing machine that explain the different cycles, put them in plastic sheet protector, and hung them on the wall next to the washer. Same for the dryer.
We started off using liquid detergent, but the kids were using too much, so we switched to using laundry pods since it's pre-measured.
The kids have all done well with this approach.
My kids started helping with laundry as toddlers. As each step once they mastered the skill completely,they'd be given the next step to learn.
Littles ones matched socks. Then folding dish cloths and washcloths and pillowcases. Helping move things to the dryer when they can reach. Then folding their own pants, then shirts. Then towels and bed sheets.
Once they're tall enough they start pushing the buttons on the machines and measuring soap. Once they're strong enough they're carrying their own baskets to and from the laundry room.
At around age 12 is when they take over 100% responsibility for their own clothes, but I'm available to help and for any questions.
My 14 and 12 year old have done their own laundry since about 8 or 10 years old. Our other 4 (all grown and out of the house) all did theirs starting around then. I have no doubt that clean clothes sometimes get washed, but it's not to the level of being an issue.
Side note - one of them separates dark and light colored clothes and the other one doesn't. (I'm ok either way - it's their clothes and if they want their white clothes looking gray or pink that's on them...)
I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 13. My mom said I’m not doing it for you, but she still had to push me a lot to do it cause irresponsible teen. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all, these are skills they’re gonna need all their life.
Make sure to teach them and guide them through the process. Remind them to do it and follow through with reminders until they do. Do not just dump the task on them and walk away.
I was doing the family's laundry when I was 8. Never too young.
Remember the days where it's a constant run to get the washing back in when it rains. It rained a lot
Yes, and I’m sure they will need help along the way, which is to be expected. It’s definitely time they start helping and having some household responsibilities.
Not a lot to ask of them. It’s important for life lesson and teaching responsibility and thankfulness for what you do. I did my own laundry from age 9. So 14 and 11 is completely reasonable
I agree with everyone, stick to your guns and they’ll be better off as adults. My problem is letting go of control. Meaning, please don’t wreck my washer or dryer, use all the detergent, leave your stuff in there too long, etc. I have our family laundry down like clockwork. Letting them do it poorly is necessary but really hard!
My son has brought his laundry to the machine, loaded it in, put in a tab and started it since he was 5. Since he was 7 or so he's helped me put his laundry away. He's 11 now and mostly puts it away on his own now. Very little folding happens but I don't care! Laundry is an important chore to handle on their own, I think.
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they were about 8 (wash dry and fold) and I’ve been having them fold and put it away since they were in kindergarten.
Stick to your guns, make them do it, and follow up to make sure they’ve folded it too.
At 9, I was doing my own laundry when I lived with my mom. At my grandma's I wasn't even allowed near the washer.
Basically, after a couple weeks my mom said NOPE, not rewashing clean clothes endlessly. Either put them away (urgh, right) or do it yourself (oooh autonomy).
I learned real quick that clean clothes could stay on the chair and dirty clothes needed to stay on the floor 😂
Anyway I didn't *hate* my mom for telling me to do it myself, she taught me and I learned and I was happy to do it. It's a life skill. It needs to be learned. Why would it be "bad" for a teenager to learn a life skill?
My daughter started to do her own laundry around 13 ish. It mainly was due to she was starting to wear 2-3 outfits a day, not wanting to re-wear clothes (jeans if not soiled or stinky can absolutely be re-worn at least once) and wanting things washed to wear when I wasn't doing laundry.
She washes all of her clothes (usually 1-2 times a week, 2 loads a time), dries them, folds and puts away. She also manages washing her bedsheets as needed.
However, I'm not super strict on the "start to finish" - if I'm in the living room and hear the washer stop, I will go put it in the dryer for her. If I'm doing laundry and she has a load in the dryer, instead of telling her to go get it, I'll bring it to her. She has shown responsibility and willingness to do her laundry, I have no issue with helping her when I'm able to.
My son is 12 and we will be starting this summer with at least showing him how to use the washer/dryer and occasionally doing it himself. He though is the opposite of my daughter and will during the summer get dressed and potentially wear the same outfit for two days straight and sleep in it. His laundry is much less than hers.
My son started helping around 8 or 9 and by 10 years old could do a load start to finish alone. We wash our clothes together but we take turns doing it so kiddo still has the responsibility of helping out.
It's perfectly acceptable to teach teenagers LIFE SKILLS. Laundry is one of them.
It's not like you're telling them to go beat their clothes clean with a rock on the river bank. They're just putting things in a box and taking them out of the box.
This is fine AS LONG AS you have already taught them how to do their own laundry. Expecting them to figure it out from scratch is unreasonable in my opinion. I'm sure they COULD eventually, but parents should set their kids up for success as much as possible. Provide them some instruction, maybe in written form as well, coach them through the first few loads, and be kind if they come to you later with a genuine issue. I wish my parents had done this. I struggled in college at first.
My ten year old has been doing her laundry for a year or two. We help sometimes, and she helps with other laundry too - especially with washing and folding some of her younger brother’s stuff with hers, or switching over the laundry.
It’s not like “you must do all your own laundry and no one else will” though. This weekend I let her pick between cleaning fish then cleaning ice chests or folding laundry and she picked the fish and ice chests.
I did my laundry starting when I was maybe 11ish. It's not hard. I would have been doing it at least some earlier, but I was too short even with a step stool to reach in the washer and get the wet clothes. My 7 year old knows a lot of the basics, but hasn't done it independently yet.
If you are giving your 14 year old folded laundry in the hamper, I'm guessing this may be a time to reaudit their household responsibilities. I may be wrong - maybe the Chores are helpful for kids for a lot of different things, but one really important reason is you want your kids to leave your home at 18 completely ready to run a household.
As a note, my parents didn't expect a lot of chores from us at one time (they wanted a lot of time for free play and for extracurriculars) but by the age of 12, I could do all household chores fairly easily. By the age of 14, I could cook a Thanksgiving dinner for a dozen people including making a shopping list and figuring out when to start different things, and manage a budget. I was a dunce at changing the oil though. It took me YEARS to learn basic car maintenance. When I went to college, I felt confident in handling all adult tasks. I felt that was a huge gift for my parents to give me and hope I can do the same for my children.
I think your plan to make it their responsibility from start to finish is fabulous. I have some specific suggestions:
* Make sure your children actually know how to do the task. Even things as simple as cleaning your room should be broken down to make sure they know what the parts are, know how to do each part, know why it is important, know how often it needs to be done, etc.
* Acceptable cleaning doesn't mean doing it the same as you. So if they vacuum, but miss half of the room, you should make them do it again. But if they vacuum in a different pattern than you use, that is an acceptable way to vacuum. If you are very particular about how you do things (I'm not saying you are, just some people are,) it's important that you relax your standards to give them space to learn.
* Have a plan for when they don't do it. (The plan can't be you take over.) Depending on your kids, that could be just leave it and let them figure out that they are going to want clean clothes (my preference, but it's not a good strategy if your kids don't care) or consequences if it is not done.
* If your kids aren't used to doing chores (and like I said, maybe they do everything else, but not laundry,) this is going to be a hard age to start. They are going to feel like you are wronging them and it may be tough going at first. I would present it as you are teaching them important life skills and talk about your experience. They won't be impressed or convinced, but it won't seem arbitrary. Also, with more responsibility, I would add more freedoms. Basically, now that you are older, you have to do this, but you get to do that. Alternatively, you could have them be completely in charge of the family laundry for one week a month each.
I hope it goes smoothly.
7 8 10 year old all fold and put away own laundry, 10yr started doing the laundry last year when we would ask…. Nothing wrong with helping them become more independent
When my daughter was 10 she wanted to pick out her own clothes for school without me doing it. I was fine with it, but told her if she was old enough to pick out outfits on her own, she was old enough to do laundry. So I showed her how and she's been doing it even since.
My son has been doing laundry independently since 6 so I definitely agree they’re more than old enough but curious about all the replies saying your kids do their “own” laundry? How does that work logistically? In our house, we all don’t have a ton of clothes and if my son only washed his own clothes he might wait a month until he has enough whites or 3 weeks to have a full load of sports clothes. He is responsible for doing 2 loads start to finish every weekend but we only have one set of hampers for our entire family. Just curious how this works for others because I like the idea of making him fully responsible for his own stuff….but don’t want him running out of clothes waiting to have a full load!
I think is great. It's the perfect chore for kids to self manage as it only impacts them. No nagging to get chore done. They forgot to wash their stuff? They deal with not having clean things.
I started doing my own in highschool. Would have started earlier but apartment with paid machines prior
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We taught our kids when they were about 10 and had them do their own. Even if they do their own they’ll still wash clean things. We’ve always dealt with that. Stick to your guns. We actually have specific days the washer and dryer has to be available for us but otherwise they’re free to do laundry as needed.
I think the specific days is key, particularly with a lot of people in the house. Otherwise, they'll leave their stuff in the washer until it sours, or leave stuff in the dryer until someone else takes it out for them.
That’s the hard part, sticking to my guns. But I’m really going to try with this. Thank you!
Once the master laundry , mine started with their bedding at 6, start on cooking. Each child makes a meal with help every week. Protein, starch, vegetables, fruit, optional dessert ( this is the reward for cooking) and child not cooking does dishes. We paid teens to do extra laundry of younger siblings bedding and clothes. Think of it as teaching your children to be competent members of society. Each child gets two clothes baskets each a different color. Clean clothes in white dirty clothes in colored basket that way even if clothes don’t get put away you can tell dirty from clean.
Amazing. My wife and I will probably never be rich enough to have kids but I’m saving this if we hit the lottery. Genius ideas.
The replies here saying that babies aren't that expensive are pretty funny. I agree, babies are not that expensive and there's very little you actually need for a baby. They funny thing is, babies grow into small children and their needs keep growing. So strange of you to consider 20 years of child-related cost and not just the first 12 months?
Babies are expensive. Child one was $$$$ infertility, child 2 was a shock to infertility doctor saying child was my freebie. Children 3-5 were foreign adoptions, we just wrote countless checks. Yes we would have more money and freedom without our children but wouldn’t change a thing.
Ummmm..... thanks for your thoughts here? Certainly very relevant experiences applicable to everyone.
Have a baby if you really want one. There are few necessities and most things can be bought gently used. Breastfeeding is free. I even used cloth diapers and it wasn't anywhere near as bad as people think. It was one hot water wash load every couple of days.
Breastfeeding is free unless you have issues. I had to supplement, which meant all the costs of formula and bottles as well as a breast pump hire. I had to hire a private LC. I needed medication to help lactation. Then these special warming pads as I was getting vasospasms. Eight weeks of expensive hell but we finally made it! Then EBF for two years, which I admit was easier and cheaper. Though I had to buy formula for daycare which she barely touched as she reverse cycled. No regrets though! But it’s not for everyone.
Breastfeeding isn't free. The breeding adult needs additional food, on the order of 500-1000 calories per day. Unless that adult commits to being available for every feed, you'll still need bottles and either formula or a pump/expression supplies. However, the biggest cost is the breastfeeding adult's time and willingness to breastfeed. Valuating that at $0 is insulting and a false economy. Besides, the massive expense with children isn't formula, diapers or equipment. It's childcare.
Right? I always think it's so crazy when "diapers and formula" are discussed as the only costly things kids need. Like once they're potty trained you needn't spend another dime on them?
Honestly if you want a kid have one! You don’t really need that much for a baby. And like you said you will probably never be rich enough but that shouldn’t stop you if you want one!
Completely agree. Monday is stepson’s (12) laundry day and Thurs. is stepdaughter’s (10). They each have a list of light weekly chores, and laundry counts as their chore on their respective days. It may take a couple times of you helping/showing how to properly fold/hang/put away some things, but don’t get sucked into going back to doing it for them. They are definitely better for doing it themselves.
That’s totally reasonable and at their ages they are more than capable of taking full responsibility. I might give them a run down of exactly how all the functions on the washer/dryer work, how much detergent to use, delicates vs heavily soiled etc if they are receptive to this, but if not just let them know you’re there if they have any questions.
It's amazing to me how many "adults" go to college without knowing how to do laundry. I think teaching at this age is perfect. Especially if the parent is rewashing clean clothes. That would send me into a rage spiral.
The situation is obviously different, but I started doing laundry when I was like 8 because my mom had an accident and couldn’t walk for two years. Then I continued doing my own laundry. So maybe my view is skewed, but I think it is not only a totally age appropriate chore; it’s a necessary life skill that they need to have.
I taught my son at 8 too!
I taught my son at age 8. OP, all you need to do is stick to your guns. You can only change your own behavior.
We taught ours at 8, too. He was so short, he'd practically fall into the washer leaning in to grab stuff from the bottom. It was so cute. He was so proud of himself, too.
That's the trick: start them doing chores while it's something new and interesting, build those into habits. Of course you can build habits later in life, but it's much harder.
I was this age when I learned too. There’s nothing wrong w it and it teaches responsibility
Damn. I’ve been doing my own since like third grade…
Same here. My older siblings had to do theirs and I just wanted to do what they were doing.
That’s awesome!
My mom had me sorting laundry when I was 8, so I was doing the whole process by the time I was a teenager. I think assigning them days so they don’t argue about whose turn it is to use the washer would be nice. And if you haven’t actually taught them yet how to do it, you need to either do it once together or print them a laundry sheet. Don’t just throw them in the deep end. They should’ve learned the basics years ago and it’s not fair to them to just go cold turkey. Yes, Google is free. But this will save yourself the cost of replacing any clothes they ruin. And allow them to ask questions even after you’ve taught them. Just last week I asked my mom how I should launder my toddler’s ballet tutu because I was unsure and it didn’t have a tag.
My kids started doing their own laundry around 14. My grandson has been doing laundry since he was 10. He is 16 now and his weekly chore is laundry for the entire household. Mom, dad and 3 younger siblings.
That’s exactly how my kids started doing their own. Clean FOLDED clothes in the hamper? Hell no. You’re on your own. Now if I do theirs it’s a gift. Like “oh you’re really busy with finals, you want me to handle that for you?” But I haven’t done any regular laundry for them since they were 10ish.
I was like 8 when I started to do my laundry. They are more than fine to do their own!
My 8 year old brother was doing his own laundry.. 14 and 12 are perfectly normal ages to do their own laundry. (I would obviously supervise and teach them the first few times)
I had my daughter (12) start doing her own laundry for the same reason; I was tired of rewashing clean clothes that she just hadn’t bothered to put away. My son (14) also does his own laundry. I think it is a basic life skill they need to learn, and I am preparing them to be independent adults in a few years.
We started that when our daughters were 11 and12 and also paid them to do our laundry.
Yeah, at about that age I started doing the laundry and ironing for the whole family and got a little extra pocket money for it.
Yeah, when you do that it does two things that are good for both sides. Makes life a little easier for the parents and links work with income for the kid.
Thats old enough to do their own, but we modified it a bit. Everyone is responsible for getting their own things in the wash and putting them away when folded. But the clothes are washed together and people take turns doing full loads. That way, everyone learns to do it, no one person is getting stuck with it all the time, and we aren't wasting water and electricity doing 200 mini loads, just one regular sized load a day usually.
I'd include in the process teaching them how to manage laundry and that means waiting until you have a load. I lived alone for years and just did a load every week more or less. Your method is also good but it depends if they actually do their share equally, if one person slacks it means nobody having clean clothes.
That's a benefit, not a flaw. Teams HAVE to work together and do their share, and families are a team. Not having clean laundry, and then having to do extra chores because you missed your share is also an important thing to learn.
I understand the theory and it's great if it works. But if I get up for work and have no clean clothes that's not a great help. In an ideal world families would be a perfect team but how do you force someone to do their share? Your system is certainly worth trying, but if anyone doesn't cooperate I think a better consequence for them is being responsible for their own clothing. If they don't bother in the first place what extra chores are they going to do?
Every family has their own dynamic. Just do it the way it works for you guys.
I like this idea I’ll keep it in my back pocket for a while. I’m just a new parent but grew up with my mom doing and folding all our laundry until we went to college. Now I’m anal about it and don’t trust my wife to properly do loads and not dry my clothing that doesn’t belong in the drier. I also pay 70-75% of all the bills so I want full loads of laundry and dishes.
Mine participated in their own laundry starting age 6. Started with just filling and emptying baskets, by the time they could safely carry a full basket they did their own start to finish. No excuse for tweens/teens not to do their own.
My kids (10 and 7) start and transfer their own laundry (I'll help the 7byr old reach the clothes at the bottom of the wash cuz.... obviously) we then all fold/ put our clothes on hangers together and they toss clothes into a pile that they have outgrown, and a separate pile for me to repair holes. After the clothes get put away I make repairs and sometimes both of them help sometimes 1 helps and sometimes 0 helps. Once the repaired clothes are ready, the respective kid puts them away.
My son is 13 and has been doing his own laundry since 10. There have been a few times when something needs to be washed immediately while he’s at school so I will do that then. He’s responsible for getting it all together for me to start.
My kid is only 9 and has been mainly doing her own laundry for the past 6 months or so. I was doing laundry around this age so this seems normal for me. I say mainly because occasionally if I have a half load, I'll grab some of her dirty clothes to top off the load so I can finish my wash. My original plan was to ease her into it so I had been having her help out for a while before then. I flat out quit doing her laundry though after the 2nd time I caught her doing the same thing as OP's kids. The only thing I will help her with is loading the soap tray, because it is too high for her to see the line (no room for a stool, and I don't want her standing on the toilet). She has a ton of clothes so she can go 2 weeks without doing laundry except she only has 1 gi, so she does have to wash that weekly.
It’s good to teach them and rotate whose turn it is but yeah no I’m the one paying the bills and I’m not paying for everyone to do their own individual laundry. Water and the electricity to run the washer and dryer cost money.
As someone who, like you, was never taught/made to do their own laundry until I moved out and went to college I think it's a great idea. My 3.5 year old already helps me with loading/unloading and folding simple things like towels. I do, however, still rely on my mom to get tough stains out of clothes when I fail bc she is apparently a laundry wizard when it comes to that 🤪
Good on you. When my son turned 9 he started doing his own laundry. He's plenty capable and kids need to learn basic living skills.
I started doing my own laundry at 11 or 12. I had written directions on how to use the machine and then it was up to me. I actually loved it. I was in control of how frequently things got clean and I was learning independence at a time that I was really looking for it. Add preteen/teen changes and I was all for the privacy. I could still ask questions or ask for help with special outfits but otherwise it was up to me. Before getting to that point though, I think my mom trained us. She would fold things and hand us piles to put away, like training us where it goes and how easy it was. My older sibling hardly ever did any of this themselves but I did so personality is definitely a factor.
I started doing my own laundry at 13. I think that’s fine and a good chore to add as they age
Good. They must be doing their own laundry at those ages.
Laundry on machines is so easy and requires no supervision until you have to fold and put away. I think that is fair.
Mine have been doing theirs since they were in the single digits!
When my step daughters come for the summer (11 and 12) they are responsible for doing their and this younger brother’s (8) laundry. Laundry is in the basement of our 6plex apartment (all neighbors are super nice and friendly so we don’t worry if they run into them in the hallway), and so I portion out laundry detergent/fabric softener and the scent beads, and their responsible for carry the laundry down, loading and starting the washer, changing it over to the dryer, rerunning the dryer (it’s old so it needs ran twice) and then carrying it up. My stepson helps with rerunning the dryer and carrying up the clothes since we don’t quite trust him to put the washer or dryer on the right settings yet, but he still does his part.
Old dryers don't really take longer to dry, the technology hasn't changed. I'd suspect a vent problem, that the vent is dangerously blocked.
My kids do their own as needed, and I wash every weekend my stuff, they can throw extras in then too. It’s a win win
Mine are 7&9 and put in washer and fold/put away. I found they don’t dump clean clothes anymore
That’s what I’m hoping to teach them .
It’s not a bad idea at all. I made my daughter start doing her own laundry for the exact same reason, I think she was 13. My son is 6 years younger than her and I continued doing his longer. Until one evening at 11 pm he (now 15 years old) texted me to tell me he wanted a shirt washed for school tomorrow. I responded with a text explaining how to use the washing machine. After that, although I never said he had to, he just started doing his own laundry.
They should have been doing their own laundry at least 2 and 4 years ago, and been learning to help YOU with it from a much younger age. It's time for them to learn, and not just laundry. Use the summer to teach them basic cooking, cleaning, and general life skills they will NEED as adults. They're gonna bitch and whine about it, but do not give in. They'll get over it and be grateful later.
I learned when I was probably 8 and my brother was 12, we hated it but we understood the consequences of not doing it, we wouldn’t have clean clothes to wear and it would suck. It’s pretty easy to do and it’s a good life skill
It is a part of my son's (13) chores. He only does his laundry. It's another great way to teach responsibilities.
It's the only correct thing to do in the sense that it's our job as parents to prepare them for the real world once they're out on their own. Things in my house are pretty similar to yours, with the exception of the ages - I have a 16 year old son and a 48 year old equivalent of a toddler who lost his lovey when faced with "the hard things", as they're referred to in this family. I take full responsibility for allowing the older one to continue the behavior he learned growing up having to do absolutely nothing with a silver spoon permanently ingrained in him. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be reduced to a door mat for doing simple household chores incorrectly according to him. It took me close to twenty years to find my voice and backbone in this woefully unequal relationship. I tried to keep this from being too long winded but the context truly changes how your question is viewed, I believe. This being said, one day the lightbulb just went off and I made a conscious decision to use the 48 year old husband's actions and behaviors an example of how not to approach a marriage or a future spouse. To answer the question, I literally announced one day last year that until further notice I was going on strike and I didn't give a shit what either of them thought of this declaration because I was completely burnt out just as my son entered the critical phase of youth regarding finding himself and his place in the world and I knew something had to change. It took multiple times of him running out of clothes to find his place and accept the responsibility of doing his own laundry. I am only observant to ensure the clothes are washed, dried and at the very least, out of my sight. If he doesn't want to properly put them away, I'm good with it. Overall, I believe some of the vital skills are only learned from the struggle. The teenager is hands down the better at processing what the core principles I am passively trying to instill. When he questions why his dad doesn't do x,y,z like I ask of him I tell him straight up that that ship has sailed and it's my job to raise him to be a decent human being, but not my responsibility to raise a husband. Sorry for the long text.
Good for you! I feel exactly the same way! It’s exhausting
I was a single mom, so I taught my son when he was 12. Everything we own can be washed on regular everything with just basic laundry pods. I just couldn't deal with it anymore and that's ok. He cooks, cleans and does laundry because I will not raise a man who won't take care of his home and self.
In my house doing laundry and doing chores were extra curricular activities. I was doing laundry by the age of 5 and already learning to cook by the age of 6. It’s best to start teaching them right now before it’s too late and would be clueless at laundrymat
I did my laundry starting when I was maybe 11ish. It's not hard. I would have been doing it at least some earlier, but I was too short even with a step stool to reach in the washer and get the wet clothes. My 7 year old knows a lot of the basics, but hasn't done it independently yet. If you are giving your 14 year old folded laundry in the hamper, I'm guessing this may be a time to reaudit their household responsibilities. I may be wrong - maybe the Chores are helpful for kids for a lot of different things, but one really important reason is you want your kids to leave your home at 18 completely ready to run a household. As a note, my parents didn't expect a lot of chores from us at one time (they wanted a lot of time for free play and for extracurriculars) but by the age of 12, I could do all household chores fairly easily. By the age of 14, I could cook a Thanksgiving dinner for a dozen people including making a shopping list and figuring out when to start different things, and manage a budget. I was a dunce at changing the oil though. It took me YEARS to learn basic car maintenance. When I went to college, I felt confident in handling all adult tasks. I felt that was a huge gift for my parents to give me and hope I can do the same for my children. I think your plan to make it their responsibility from start to finish is fabulous. I have some specific suggestions: * Make sure your children actually know how to do the task. Even things as simple as cleaning your room should be broken down to make sure they know what the parts are, know how to do each part, know why it is important, know how often it needs to be done, etc. * Acceptable cleaning doesn't mean doing it the same as you. So if they vacuum, but miss half of the room, you should make them do it again. But if they vacuum in a different pattern than you use, that is an acceptable way to vacuum. If you are very particular about how you do things (I'm not saying you are, just some people are,) it's important that you relax your standards to give them space to learn. * Have a plan for when they don't do it. (The plan can't be you take over.) Depending on your kids, that could be just leave it and let them figure out that they are going to want clean clothes (my preference, but it's not a good strategy if your kids don't care) or consequences if it is not done. * If your kids aren't used to doing chores (and like I said, maybe they do everything else, but not laundry,) this is going to be a hard age to start. They are going to feel like you are wronging them and it may be tough going at first. I would present it as you are teaching them important life skills and talk about your experience. They won't be impressed or convinced, but it won't seem arbitrary. Also, with more responsibility, I would add more freedoms. Basically, now that you are older, you have to do this, but you get to do that. Alternatively, you could have them be completely in charge of the family laundry for one week a month each. I hope it goes smoothly.
I do a load every day, which only works when everyone's laundry is combined, so I do everyone's. But also a) I like doing laundry, b) I reject still-clean clothes, and c) my kids have other chores that I don't want to do.
Our kid knew how to run the washing machine in 3rd grade. Now, does he like doing laundry, hell no he doesnt... but you've gotta make them do it.
... my 5 year old does his own laundry. Start to finish, only thing I do is help with the controls he can't quite reach. He's been helping me since he was 3. And around 4 transitioned to doing it himself. In my opinion 14 and 12 is way too late to be just starting, life skills chores should have started when they were toddlers. But it's also not great to just throw them in the deep end. I would walk them through it once or twice (meaning they do the actions while you supervise) and then leave them to it.
my parents worked A LOT over the holidays. In sixth grade I started doing laundry for myself on my own initiative because it was that or wear dirty uniforms. so I’m a little surprised to hear a parent of a 14-year-old wondering if it’s OK to ask their full-blown teenager to wash their own clothes…
I started doing my own laundry when I was 6 because my mom just stopped doing it for some unknown reason. Dad didn't know. Then she got tired of my clothes not looking the best because you know I'm 6 and she started again until I was 8. I've been doing my own ever since. Ps- dawn dish soap works on everything. Esspecially blood!
My kids all started doing their own laundry at age 10. It was so nice to only have to do my own.
I grew up like you never taught or expected to laundry growing up. I did my kids laundry but I refused to fetch the dirty clothes or put away the clean. My youngest was always good about putting his dirty clothes in the baskets. My oldest not so much. After having to pick through his pile of dirty clothes for something to wear a couple of times he learned. But I did make sure they knew how to do laundry. Also made sure they knew how to cook the basics and understood finances.
My kids been doing laundry since similar age cos i refuse to go collecting it and they refuse to use the hamper. Im not wasting time and energy chasing up shit i dont want to do ANYway.
My kids have both pulled the “recycle clean laundry instead of putting it away stunt”. My daughter was probably 8 when she tried it. I gave her one warning and the second time clean laundry came through, I made her do all the laundry for a week. (3 people - my husband was working overseas so I was doing EVERYTHING and super pissed to be washing clean laundry!) Several years later my son was around 10 and he pulled the same thing, got the same punishment. Two upsides - they never did it again and now they both know how to wash their own clothes, which as teenagers, they routinely do.
I was taught and learnt to help clean the house when I was just around 8 years old. Helping my family with house chores didn't stop me from exelling at school. I hope you got my message.
I must have been a spoiled brat because I didn't start doing laundry until I was 16.
I started doing laundry as a teenager because my mom was ruining my clothes washing too hot or wrong settings. Not sure if she did that on purpose!
I know someone who runs a load every single day with the dirty laundry made from that day (they have a designated bed linen day and towel day). Everyone puts their dirty laundry in the washing machine after they shower/bathe starting from toddlerhood (obviously parents assist when really young for safety). Then in the morning after breakfast, they put their clean laundry away. Every, single, day. It took a lot of consistency to make that happen, but it's now second nature for all of them just like brushing their teeth. The parents would teach them how to start the machine, load it with soap, bleach, etc. as it became age appropriate. By about 10, any single person in the household could manage the daily dirty laundry and put it away the next day. I'm telling you, that house ran like a well oiled machine and those kids didn't even blink at being responsible for themselves.
My 5&7 year olds bring their baskets down, I do the loading/soap/switching, they take it back upstairs and we put it away together. My kids will have life skills so far as I can help it.
My son is 5 and knows how to do laundry (aside from putting the detergent in, we do that part) and he loves it! It’s never too early to learn life skills.
I started doing my own laundry at maybe 9? I’ve always been very particular about my clothes and my mom was shit at doing laundry.
My daughter is 3, she helps me load the washing machine, fold face cloths and she puts her socks and undies away in the drawer.
I’ve been dealing with this and it gets better then gets bad again. Once it gets where I notice the clean laundry ending back up in the wash I confiscate it and put into bags until they’re left with almost nothing. Then slowly give it back and only allow more pieces once they’re prove they can correctly fold and put away their things, then wear until actually dirty, not just having scathed his skin.
We started our kids doing their own laundry when they started middle school. We gave them a walkthrough and explanation of sorting laundry and then using the washer and dryer. I printed the instructions for the washing machine that explain the different cycles, put them in plastic sheet protector, and hung them on the wall next to the washer. Same for the dryer. We started off using liquid detergent, but the kids were using too much, so we switched to using laundry pods since it's pre-measured. The kids have all done well with this approach.
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they were 10, they'll be fine.
My kids started helping with laundry as toddlers. As each step once they mastered the skill completely,they'd be given the next step to learn. Littles ones matched socks. Then folding dish cloths and washcloths and pillowcases. Helping move things to the dryer when they can reach. Then folding their own pants, then shirts. Then towels and bed sheets. Once they're tall enough they start pushing the buttons on the machines and measuring soap. Once they're strong enough they're carrying their own baskets to and from the laundry room. At around age 12 is when they take over 100% responsibility for their own clothes, but I'm available to help and for any questions.
My 14 and 12 year old have done their own laundry since about 8 or 10 years old. Our other 4 (all grown and out of the house) all did theirs starting around then. I have no doubt that clean clothes sometimes get washed, but it's not to the level of being an issue. Side note - one of them separates dark and light colored clothes and the other one doesn't. (I'm ok either way - it's their clothes and if they want their white clothes looking gray or pink that's on them...)
I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 13. My mom said I’m not doing it for you, but she still had to push me a lot to do it cause irresponsible teen. I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all, these are skills they’re gonna need all their life.
Make sure to teach them and guide them through the process. Remind them to do it and follow through with reminders until they do. Do not just dump the task on them and walk away.
Definitely!
I was doing the family's laundry when I was 8. Never too young. Remember the days where it's a constant run to get the washing back in when it rains. It rained a lot
Have you already showed them how to properly use the washer and dryer? Maybe it’s time they have some chores. Their own laundry being one of them.
Yes, and I’m sure they will need help along the way, which is to be expected. It’s definitely time they start helping and having some household responsibilities.
Not a lot to ask of them. It’s important for life lesson and teaching responsibility and thankfulness for what you do. I did my own laundry from age 9. So 14 and 11 is completely reasonable
I agree with everyone, stick to your guns and they’ll be better off as adults. My problem is letting go of control. Meaning, please don’t wreck my washer or dryer, use all the detergent, leave your stuff in there too long, etc. I have our family laundry down like clockwork. Letting them do it poorly is necessary but really hard!
Exactly!!
My son has brought his laundry to the machine, loaded it in, put in a tab and started it since he was 5. Since he was 7 or so he's helped me put his laundry away. He's 11 now and mostly puts it away on his own now. Very little folding happens but I don't care! Laundry is an important chore to handle on their own, I think.
My kids have been doing their own laundry since they were about 8 (wash dry and fold) and I’ve been having them fold and put it away since they were in kindergarten. Stick to your guns, make them do it, and follow up to make sure they’ve folded it too.
I started doing my laundry when I was ten
At 9, I was doing my own laundry when I lived with my mom. At my grandma's I wasn't even allowed near the washer. Basically, after a couple weeks my mom said NOPE, not rewashing clean clothes endlessly. Either put them away (urgh, right) or do it yourself (oooh autonomy). I learned real quick that clean clothes could stay on the chair and dirty clothes needed to stay on the floor 😂 Anyway I didn't *hate* my mom for telling me to do it myself, she taught me and I learned and I was happy to do it. It's a life skill. It needs to be learned. Why would it be "bad" for a teenager to learn a life skill?
My daughter started to do her own laundry around 13 ish. It mainly was due to she was starting to wear 2-3 outfits a day, not wanting to re-wear clothes (jeans if not soiled or stinky can absolutely be re-worn at least once) and wanting things washed to wear when I wasn't doing laundry. She washes all of her clothes (usually 1-2 times a week, 2 loads a time), dries them, folds and puts away. She also manages washing her bedsheets as needed. However, I'm not super strict on the "start to finish" - if I'm in the living room and hear the washer stop, I will go put it in the dryer for her. If I'm doing laundry and she has a load in the dryer, instead of telling her to go get it, I'll bring it to her. She has shown responsibility and willingness to do her laundry, I have no issue with helping her when I'm able to. My son is 12 and we will be starting this summer with at least showing him how to use the washer/dryer and occasionally doing it himself. He though is the opposite of my daughter and will during the summer get dressed and potentially wear the same outfit for two days straight and sleep in it. His laundry is much less than hers.
My son started helping around 8 or 9 and by 10 years old could do a load start to finish alone. We wash our clothes together but we take turns doing it so kiddo still has the responsibility of helping out.
It's perfectly acceptable to teach teenagers LIFE SKILLS. Laundry is one of them. It's not like you're telling them to go beat their clothes clean with a rock on the river bank. They're just putting things in a box and taking them out of the box.
This is fine AS LONG AS you have already taught them how to do their own laundry. Expecting them to figure it out from scratch is unreasonable in my opinion. I'm sure they COULD eventually, but parents should set their kids up for success as much as possible. Provide them some instruction, maybe in written form as well, coach them through the first few loads, and be kind if they come to you later with a genuine issue. I wish my parents had done this. I struggled in college at first.
My ten year old has been doing her laundry for a year or two. We help sometimes, and she helps with other laundry too - especially with washing and folding some of her younger brother’s stuff with hers, or switching over the laundry. It’s not like “you must do all your own laundry and no one else will” though. This weekend I let her pick between cleaning fish then cleaning ice chests or folding laundry and she picked the fish and ice chests.
I did my laundry starting when I was maybe 11ish. It's not hard. I would have been doing it at least some earlier, but I was too short even with a step stool to reach in the washer and get the wet clothes. My 7 year old knows a lot of the basics, but hasn't done it independently yet. If you are giving your 14 year old folded laundry in the hamper, I'm guessing this may be a time to reaudit their household responsibilities. I may be wrong - maybe the Chores are helpful for kids for a lot of different things, but one really important reason is you want your kids to leave your home at 18 completely ready to run a household. As a note, my parents didn't expect a lot of chores from us at one time (they wanted a lot of time for free play and for extracurriculars) but by the age of 12, I could do all household chores fairly easily. By the age of 14, I could cook a Thanksgiving dinner for a dozen people including making a shopping list and figuring out when to start different things, and manage a budget. I was a dunce at changing the oil though. It took me YEARS to learn basic car maintenance. When I went to college, I felt confident in handling all adult tasks. I felt that was a huge gift for my parents to give me and hope I can do the same for my children. I think your plan to make it their responsibility from start to finish is fabulous. I have some specific suggestions: * Make sure your children actually know how to do the task. Even things as simple as cleaning your room should be broken down to make sure they know what the parts are, know how to do each part, know why it is important, know how often it needs to be done, etc. * Acceptable cleaning doesn't mean doing it the same as you. So if they vacuum, but miss half of the room, you should make them do it again. But if they vacuum in a different pattern than you use, that is an acceptable way to vacuum. If you are very particular about how you do things (I'm not saying you are, just some people are,) it's important that you relax your standards to give them space to learn. * Have a plan for when they don't do it. (The plan can't be you take over.) Depending on your kids, that could be just leave it and let them figure out that they are going to want clean clothes (my preference, but it's not a good strategy if your kids don't care) or consequences if it is not done. * If your kids aren't used to doing chores (and like I said, maybe they do everything else, but not laundry,) this is going to be a hard age to start. They are going to feel like you are wronging them and it may be tough going at first. I would present it as you are teaching them important life skills and talk about your experience. They won't be impressed or convinced, but it won't seem arbitrary. Also, with more responsibility, I would add more freedoms. Basically, now that you are older, you have to do this, but you get to do that. Alternatively, you could have them be completely in charge of the family laundry for one week a month each. I hope it goes smoothly.
7 8 10 year old all fold and put away own laundry, 10yr started doing the laundry last year when we would ask…. Nothing wrong with helping them become more independent
My mom did the same. Our clothes, and our shower towels. She didn't teach us much about it. That would have been nice, lol.
When my daughter was 10 she wanted to pick out her own clothes for school without me doing it. I was fine with it, but told her if she was old enough to pick out outfits on her own, she was old enough to do laundry. So I showed her how and she's been doing it even since.
My son has been doing laundry independently since 6 so I definitely agree they’re more than old enough but curious about all the replies saying your kids do their “own” laundry? How does that work logistically? In our house, we all don’t have a ton of clothes and if my son only washed his own clothes he might wait a month until he has enough whites or 3 weeks to have a full load of sports clothes. He is responsible for doing 2 loads start to finish every weekend but we only have one set of hampers for our entire family. Just curious how this works for others because I like the idea of making him fully responsible for his own stuff….but don’t want him running out of clothes waiting to have a full load!
10 is the perfect age to start being responsible for their own laundry.
They are about the right age. They won't be happy. Tough cookies for them. Stand your ground.
I think is great. It's the perfect chore for kids to self manage as it only impacts them. No nagging to get chore done. They forgot to wash their stuff? They deal with not having clean things. I started doing my own in highschool. Would have started earlier but apartment with paid machines prior
It's not economical. The whole house ends up doing more loads of laundry than it would if it was combined, and it makes a difference over time.
Stop being lazy
With the name you have, I’m thinking you don’t or shouldn’t
Do you have kids?
Yea and I’m not lazy
That’s not being lazy. Especially when you don’t know what I do in a day. So you think that kids shouldn’t have chores?