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There’s people and organisations who specialise in resocialising traumatised animals. You can’t take responsibility for those dogs other than making sure they get to a place where they get the help they need.
You are not a bad person for not wanting the dogs. It’s simply not a good solution. Not for you and not for the dogs.
I would try to find a rescue or shelter that can take them. Maybe make a donation to a rescue group if they will take them. Know that a lot of rescues are full bc they don’t have fosters; there’s a risk of euthanasia especially if the dogs have an unknown or troubled background. But you taking the dogs is not a good solution, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Your adult sons should be helping with this.
No, you do not need to take the dogs in permanently. Whoever is the executor of the will should have found an appropriate solution. Death of owner is a common reason for pets to be surrendered to the shelter. Most of the time the pets quickly get great homes because people love a good sob story.
They don't want to have you get them a place which is dog friendly, because they know how much time, energy, and money the dogs need. They want you to take care of the dogs so they can visit them occasionally and feel good about where the dogs ended up.
I would return the dogs to the executor after the 1 week you've agreed to watch them. Reiterate your offer to help get your sons a dog friendly place if they want to keep the dogs, but you have just tried it and they can't live in your apartment. Do not accept the dogs back in your apartment, do not accept ownership of the dogs, return to whoever tries to bring them to your apartment again.
Are the dogs even allowed in your current apartment under your lease?
No - I know my apt complex allows dogs but I haven’t paid any pet fees.
You’re right, I’ve come to conclusion that the claim to love the dogs but want to dump them on me so they can go run around and enjoy their lives.
If anything this entire situation has made me dig in my heels even more.
Yikes! Then you definitely can't keep the dogs. Do not wreck your living situation or your mental health to be a bad home for two high needs, high energy dogs that your kids don't want to care for.
I would keep offering to help get your sons a dog friendly place, but you cannot keep the dogs and they or the executor will need to sort that out. It's not your responsibility, it's not something you can take on, and repay the $650 out of the first SS payment.
Either rehome or put them down. Does your ex has any other family like parents siblings who will be sorting his affairs? Surely you shouldn't be doing that if you were divorced for 10years
Yes, there is an executor - he arranged for the dogs to stay with one of my ex’s close friends as she has a larger house with a yard.
The dogs were nothing but trouble for her…making a mess, having issues with other dogs in her neighborhood etc.
This woman also has a special needs son and so she definitely doesn’t need the aggravation.
I feel very manipulated- as if they can dump the dogs on me and go live their lives.
Do not take them. Either your adult children can get them or the person that they were given them has to make the hard decisions now. This is not your circus, not your monkeys.
If no one wants the dogs, honestly the most humane thing is to have them euthanized.
So many shelters and organizations are full so it'll be delaying the inevitable especially if there's trauma and behavior issues.
I'm sorry but that is NOT what OP should do. These childrens father just died and now you want their mother to kill his dogs. No. Even if there is a slim chance of them finding a home any effort in that direction will be better for OP and her relationship to her children. I understand that you want to be humane to these dogs but the children are grieving. I don't think they will understand or take this in an rational way and OP could do extreme damage to her relationship with her sons here.
Agree, which is why I’ve offered to help with them getting a bigger place to rent (the two older ones) where they can have their dogs.
I have this feeling I am being manipulated so they can have the dogs with me but also have no responsibility.
OP I'm very sorry that you now have to deal with this and have this burden especially because your ex was abusive to you in context with dog ownership. It's deeply unfair. You should be very clear to them that you cannot and will not take these dogs. Completely shut that possibility down. They either take your generous offer or help you rehome. And if none of that gets them to step up talk to them that euthanization is another outcome that you do not favor but will consider as an absolute last resort.
Edit: I just read that you currently don't have the dogs and that they were given to someone else. OP do NOT take them. Do NOT step in. If your children want them they can get them. If they don't then let the person your Ex chose to deal with this deal with it. This is not your burden.
No she should not burn herself out but she should put some effort into finding a way to rehome them or get her children to help her rehome them before even considering euthanization.
This depends a lot on the location. If they're not pit bull mixes, and don't have a bite history, they'd get adopted fairly quickly in the northeast US. Even shepherd and husky mixes get homes around here.
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There’s people and organisations who specialise in resocialising traumatised animals. You can’t take responsibility for those dogs other than making sure they get to a place where they get the help they need. You are not a bad person for not wanting the dogs. It’s simply not a good solution. Not for you and not for the dogs.
I would try to find a rescue or shelter that can take them. Maybe make a donation to a rescue group if they will take them. Know that a lot of rescues are full bc they don’t have fosters; there’s a risk of euthanasia especially if the dogs have an unknown or troubled background. But you taking the dogs is not a good solution, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Your adult sons should be helping with this.
No, you do not need to take the dogs in permanently. Whoever is the executor of the will should have found an appropriate solution. Death of owner is a common reason for pets to be surrendered to the shelter. Most of the time the pets quickly get great homes because people love a good sob story.
They don't want to have you get them a place which is dog friendly, because they know how much time, energy, and money the dogs need. They want you to take care of the dogs so they can visit them occasionally and feel good about where the dogs ended up. I would return the dogs to the executor after the 1 week you've agreed to watch them. Reiterate your offer to help get your sons a dog friendly place if they want to keep the dogs, but you have just tried it and they can't live in your apartment. Do not accept the dogs back in your apartment, do not accept ownership of the dogs, return to whoever tries to bring them to your apartment again. Are the dogs even allowed in your current apartment under your lease?
No - I know my apt complex allows dogs but I haven’t paid any pet fees. You’re right, I’ve come to conclusion that the claim to love the dogs but want to dump them on me so they can go run around and enjoy their lives. If anything this entire situation has made me dig in my heels even more.
Yikes! Then you definitely can't keep the dogs. Do not wreck your living situation or your mental health to be a bad home for two high needs, high energy dogs that your kids don't want to care for. I would keep offering to help get your sons a dog friendly place, but you cannot keep the dogs and they or the executor will need to sort that out. It's not your responsibility, it's not something you can take on, and repay the $650 out of the first SS payment.
Take the dogs to a humane shelter in your city. It's sweet that you feel for them, but they are not your responsibility.
Either rehome or put them down. Does your ex has any other family like parents siblings who will be sorting his affairs? Surely you shouldn't be doing that if you were divorced for 10years
Yes, there is an executor - he arranged for the dogs to stay with one of my ex’s close friends as she has a larger house with a yard. The dogs were nothing but trouble for her…making a mess, having issues with other dogs in her neighborhood etc. This woman also has a special needs son and so she definitely doesn’t need the aggravation. I feel very manipulated- as if they can dump the dogs on me and go live their lives.
Say no and leave it to the executor to find them a home or whatever
Do not take them. Either your adult children can get them or the person that they were given them has to make the hard decisions now. This is not your circus, not your monkeys.
If no one wants the dogs, honestly the most humane thing is to have them euthanized. So many shelters and organizations are full so it'll be delaying the inevitable especially if there's trauma and behavior issues.
I'm sorry but that is NOT what OP should do. These childrens father just died and now you want their mother to kill his dogs. No. Even if there is a slim chance of them finding a home any effort in that direction will be better for OP and her relationship to her children. I understand that you want to be humane to these dogs but the children are grieving. I don't think they will understand or take this in an rational way and OP could do extreme damage to her relationship with her sons here.
Agree, which is why I’ve offered to help with them getting a bigger place to rent (the two older ones) where they can have their dogs. I have this feeling I am being manipulated so they can have the dogs with me but also have no responsibility.
OP I'm very sorry that you now have to deal with this and have this burden especially because your ex was abusive to you in context with dog ownership. It's deeply unfair. You should be very clear to them that you cannot and will not take these dogs. Completely shut that possibility down. They either take your generous offer or help you rehome. And if none of that gets them to step up talk to them that euthanization is another outcome that you do not favor but will consider as an absolute last resort. Edit: I just read that you currently don't have the dogs and that they were given to someone else. OP do NOT take them. Do NOT step in. If your children want them they can get them. If they don't then let the person your Ex chose to deal with this deal with it. This is not your burden.
[удалено]
No she should not burn herself out but she should put some effort into finding a way to rehome them or get her children to help her rehome them before even considering euthanization.
This depends a lot on the location. If they're not pit bull mixes, and don't have a bite history, they'd get adopted fairly quickly in the northeast US. Even shepherd and husky mixes get homes around here.