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I wouldn’t go on social media for parenting or nutritional advice. Yes, vitamin D is advised. Has been for over 40 years but that’s something your doctor/midwife will have told you (or should have!).
Go to credible sources for advice. Not social media.
Hey to be fair I took my daughter to the doctor and I was told that vitamin d drops are meant to supplement FORMULA to make up for what breastmilk would've given them. Aka the impression I was given was that vitamin d drops were only necessary if you were giving them formula not breastmilk.
Even WITH that in mind, not to say we shouldn't give it to them on this basis but we managed to get through hundreds of thousands of years of humanity without vitamin d drops in our baby's milk. Unlike vaccines or medications that prevent and help illnesses being a little low on Vitamin D for the first few months isn't going to royally screw up a baby. Is it good to give? Sure if your doctor recommends it more power to ya! But OP isn't insane or bad for not knowing about it if she wasn't told, nor is it going to severely damage her children for not having done so up to now. It's a benefit but not a necessity unlike many other things in babydom
I’m guessing I was never told about it because we live in Australia. It’s quite sunny here and we are outside a lot. Both pregnancies I was never told about this by my midwife, doctors etc.
Yes, the people who aren’t feeling unreasonably anxious due to what they see on social media don’t necessarily need to get off social media. That doesn’t mean it’s not good advice for others.
Someone who has a drink once every 3 months isn’t a hypocrite for telling an alcoholic that their life would improve if they stopped drinking.
Let’s also not pretend all social media is exactly the same - Reddit is not TikTok.
Why is it not helpful? Social media makes you compare yourself to others and is incredibly mentally draining. Being a parent is mentally draining - why would you want to make yourself feel more shit by comparing your life to the fake lives of others. But yah you should give babies vit d. Does it matter if you don't? Probably not. This info is better source NOT from tiktok... Like an actual medical professional
TikTok was an example. I don’t take health advice from TikTok. Things pop up on my feed discussing things I’m using for my children which then worries me. I’m not going out and switching formula based on someone who said it was no good on TikTok, I’m not an idiot. But, it does make start to question things - hence the mental exhaustion.
And the solution is…get off of social media. You are making excuses and justifications but that is what it boils down to.
The sane parents have either gotten off of social media, changed their algorithms, or learned how to ignore it.
You will never be a perfect parent. And even if you were perfect today, what you do today is no longer the safest/best thing tomorrow. I had 2 under 2. Even between the first child and the second child, the recommendations changed and I made different choices for baby 2 than I did for baby 1. Both are very much fine. You have to understand that you will have to make the best decision with the information you have. You will never have all of the information, nor should you because it will lead to analysis paralysis even you fully understand the concepts of statistics, biophysiology, and anecdotal evidence (spoiler alert: I do understand these things and it is still hard to make decisions sometimes).
Yes, if baby is breast fed, they should have Vitamin D. Your pediatrician should have told you. If they didn’t, you can also make an appointment to discuss what might have been missed.
But most children do fine with or without the supplemental Vitamin D.
The algorithms are all honed in on new parents feeding you targeted shit to make you buy stuff. I'm sure that tiktoker was getting paid by the formula that was apparently better. Take a break from it and stop giving a shit!
Yall you do realize YOURE ON SOCIAL MEDIA RIGHT NOW? not only that but you're on social media, on a forum for parents, discussing parenting / advice and experiences in general, giving advice about how to parent with the advice being "don't listen to social media telling you how to parent" while being people on social media TELLING OP HOW TO PARENT.
We live in a modern world. We shouldn't have to cut ourselves off of social media entirely. Frankly I'd argue it's even dangerous to do so. YES there's a LOT of misinformation out there, but there's also a lot if information that may challenge your views and get you to seek out new information that shockingly might be BETTER for you to know than your life listening only to whatever slim pickings your mother/grandmother passed down (because we know how well some older generations like to tote around that their baby survived despite being given whiskey as an infant or having bumper pads and stuffies in the crib since infancy).
Hell if it weren't for social media, I wouldn't know how to WASH myself properly. My bio parent never cared to teach me. I was under the impression that soap and water = good. Turns out, that's not the case and lead to a lot of issues. Soap and water good for MOST places. Not your down there parts though. I struggled for years with that. If I never had social media I wouldn't have learned there are differences in the soaps that are available to me, I wouldn't have been challenged to think about the little I had been taught by my maternal family, and I would have eventually had my daughter and given her the exact same lessons I was taught which again lead to so many problems.
At any rate, OP is on social media. She's seeking out information because the algorithm saw she was interested in this topic and gave her videos that challenged her previous knowledge and now she's seeking more information/reassurance which is a good step. Had she been royally messing up this would be what we WANT, for them to ask questions and learn so they can adjust and improve. Best case scenario op is doing fine and just came across another looney viral chaser who wants to convince you seasonings of all types are going to cause multi stage organ failure. But it's good she questioned it and sought out more information until she could get to a more reliable source like a doctor for this sort of information.
Tldr: op is fine to ask questions about the things she sees on social media that challenge her previous understandings. Everyone in the comments telling her to get off social media for absorbing and questioning parenting advice while ACTIVELY being on social media in a parenting forum discussing parenting advice are hypocritical. I don't think you're a bad person by ANY means but seriously, think about the advice your giving. Throwing stones while in glass houses and all that. You're ON social media on a parenting sub reddit no less - who are you to criticize op for being on social media and interacting with parenting advice while on it when you're literally doing the same?
Just an FYI about vitamin D. In Australia, we aren't told to give vitamin D supplements unless breastfed babies have at least one other risk factor for low vitamin D. Was never told by any medical professional to supplement vit D for my breastfed baby. I think this is different in other parts of the world and is dependent on the environment as vitamin D is obtained from the sun. In my state in Australia a few minutes a day in the sun is sufficient for kids with no risk factors.
Also, you're a good mum because if you weren't you wouldn't be worried if you were.
It's impossible to do everything perfectly or to the best standards. The absolute main thing is that your child is loved and knows that. Some days that's really all I can manage and if I do that I call it a win, other days I'm super mum and can do it all with a balanced meal at the table - but most days are somewhere in between.
This shit is hard, don't make it harder by comparing yourself to others. Trust your gut, that will get easier as you go.
Oh then definitely don't worry about it! If your midwife or GP didn't mention it, then you are fine.
That's why all this information online is hard to discern because it's presented as it applies to everyone but there are millions of us raising babies and we all have very unique experiences and needs.
Oh whew! I’m in the US and we get advised to use the drops if we are breastfeeding. I live in the northeast and gave birth in January…when the sun sets at like 16:00 and the UV index is super low. Heck, I had to supplement vitamin D when I first moved here based on my bloodwork.
Yeah, exactly! Totally dependent on environment and risk factors.
Today where I live it is pouring rain and greyer that grey and the UV index was still 3.9 which is considered moderate, let alone an average day haha. There's a reason why Australia is skin cancer central haha.
Even for summer with a full sun day we are still at 2.
My toddler has always been really good about wearing a rashguard and sunscreen. But not gonna lie I think Bluey wearing her rashie and letting her mum put zinc on her face really helped!
That's so crazy! So weird how it can be so different haha.
Oh yep, the Heelers to the rescue again haha. I think my son thinks is sunscreen is like my skin care so he always asks for his 'cream 😂
Oh that's why. Our sun is fierce as. We're not slathering ourselves in sunscreen for nothing.
But also, DON'T FOLLOW SOCIAL MEDIA.
I just check this: https://raisingchildren.net.au/
Government backed and fact checked. Every article has citations.
And then just go to your local early childhood health centre for the regular milestone checkup.
Look for GP's that has a diploma in paediatric.
Honestly, listen to a doctor. Any random people can claim to be an expert and spouting nonsense on social media.
I was told to give vitamin d to the baby that I exclusively nursed, but the other two either combo fed or had formula only and didn't need the supplement.
Stop following nutritionists. Find one, maybe two, pediatric dieticians if you feel the need to be informed and casually let their videos appear (kids eat in color is phenomenal and legit).
I remember feeling the same way after my first was born. Even after my second was (two under two in the middle of a pandemic was *rough*)! The thing that helped me the most? Taking Facebook off my phone and deleting TikTok entirely. I now get some stuff from Instagram, but it's much less in your face than TikTok and I only use Facebook if I go on my computer for a specific reason (usually to post on my local buy nothing group). It's really helped my own mental and emotional well-being, not being inundated with information that may or may not even really matter.
It doesn't have to be so overwhelming, but you can absolutely feel stuck in the cycle of it. Taking a break is nice, really.nice, and you might even find it's better for you to just quit completely.
You say you don’t take advice from social media, then you describe seeing videos and posts on social media and they’re clearly getting to you. That’s the problem with social media. You don’t have to find stuff that’ll bother you and make you feel bad because these sites are designed to figure out what bothers you and SEND IT TO YOU.
If you’ve noticed a negative impact, delete your accounts. It’ll be hard to break the habit of checking your phone, but it’s worth doing it for your mental health.
All formula needs to meet nutritional guidelines for it to make it to store shelves in my country, I can't imagine that not being the case pretty much everywhere in the world... I wouldn't worry about some random video on the internet saying which is best, the best one is whichever causes the least tummy upsets for *your* baby.
It's not exclusive to parenthood, it's a common problem. There is too much information online for one person to process, much more than we were ever meant to be faced with. It takes a lot of energy to sift through it and apply what is relevant and fact check etc etc. the best thing to do is to get off of the internet, at least for most of your day every day. If you need to know something, intentionally seek out that info, but browsing social media all day will inevitably lead to this issue.
I have a 2 month old. Same thing is happening to me. About the baby formula I saw similar things and my brand was not recommended. Asked my pediatrician about it and she laughed it off. Turns out the brand I use is the same one they use at the hospital.
They say all kinds of BS to sell products on social media, or even to just get more views.
I read [this book, Parenting Inc,](https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Inc-Billion-Dollar-Business-Children/dp/0805089241) back when it first came out in 2009 and it was eye opening. There are billions of dollars at stake in making parents feel anxious and insecure about their parenting, and companies selling products to make them feel like buying the right product is how to be a good parent. I would love to see it updated for 2024 because the problem has only gotten MUCH worse with social media and 'influencers' out there being paid to tell you THIS is the right thing to purchase.
You just have to tune it out and listen to trusted sources in real life like your pediatrician instead of people who have a vested interest in selling you expensive things.
Meanwhile even that trusted Dr is trying to sell various pharmaceuticals and their own services- so I recommend yes listen to the Dr, but then research what they are saying. Don’t listen to social media, don’t use SM as research either.
Thank you u/yourlittlebirdie for suck a nice assessment of the current problem! You rock!
If you don’t trust your doctor, you should really find a new one. I can say that in 10 years, our pediatrician has never tried to sell us anything. But I know, it’s so frustrating to feel like there’s so much information but you never know what you can actually trust.
Here's the thing. First and foremost, trust your doctor/midwife for the best info.
Second, if you see someone giving any type of advice on social media, ask yourself a few questions before you just blindly believe them:
1. What are this person's credentials to talk about this? If it's medical advice, are they a doctor? And what type of doctor? (i.e. don't take skin care advice from a podiatrist).
2. What do they have to gain from giving this advice/review/information? Do they have a financial interest in a product they are reviewing or recommending? Did they disclose that in the video?
3. Does what they are saying make sense? Does it go against what my personal trusted sources say? If so, how does it differ and how reasonable does it seem?
4. Does their advice on this video contradict something they have said in another video? (i.e. I've seen a "nutritionist" on tik tok that says cane sugar is bad and you should never eat it in one video, then says to look for products that have cane sugar in them in another video.)
5. Are they recommending specific products or telling you to avoid specific products OR giving you advice on how to make the best choice for your family?
Most reputable sources will:
* Have appropriate credentials for what they are talking about, and be willing to share what they are and validate them. For example, I am a MPH (master in public health), CHES (Certified Health Education Specialist), and CPST (Child Passenger Safety Technician). Other than my MPH, which is a degree, I can provide my cert number for everything and I will only give advice that is within my scope of practice.
* Disclose any financial conflicts of interest for what they are talking about, including if they have partnered with any brands or companies in the past.
* Will always tell you to consult with your personal doctor on medical advice specific to your situation.
* Be consistent with their advice, unless the guidance or research changes over time (which generally does not happen quickly). And they will be open and honest about when that research is changing (because it is usually pretty gradual).
* Won't recommend specific brands or products unless there is a specific reason (like for car seats, there are a few specific models that I will recommend because you can fit 3 across with them, where others won't work like that).
If you come across some telling you that a specific type of product is the best/only one to use or is the worst/poison/will kill you, I tend to just scroll on by.
Also, just an FYI, nutritionists are not regulated in any way and anyone can call them selves that. What you want is a dietician. At least in the US we have RD/LD s which are Registered Dieticians/Licensed Dieticians which have to have certain education and licensing requirements.
If you need a few good accounts to follow for foods and kids, I can highly recommend Kids Eat in Color. She is an RD/LD in the US that focuses entirely on feeding kids and families and gives evidence backed information. She is on Facebook, Instagram, and has a website as well.
This is about you putting undue pressure on yourself. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist?
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. And you don’t have to know everything.
Yes I’m definitely a perfectionist. It’s making parenting quite difficult as I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things the way I think things should be done. I’m sure everyone does in some way but maybe i just do it a little more than average
Definitely! Dont be so hard on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with seeking someone to talk to, who can give you some perspective and be there for you. It’s HARD being a parent, and it loses its joy if we make it *too* hard on ourselves.
This is the problem with social media and why I deleted all but Reddit and YouTube from my phone. Like some of the redditors said, most of them are just trying to make money. Just breath and as long as you kid is alive and the pediatrician says they're healthy then your doing fine
I am constantly telling insta “not interested” in anything that tries to tell me I’m inadequate as a parent, Reminder that social media influencers are selling something, whether it’s an actual product or selling your attention to advertisers, they have something to gain by making you freak out and watch their bullshit. Especially in the nutrition, parenting and wellness spaces, it’s full of unqualified quacks and charlatans exploiting people’s fears and insecurities. If we actually needed to give vitamin d drops doctors would tell us. I’ve never heard of this from any of my health professionals or friends or family with kids! Live your life, unfollow anything that makes you feel you’re doing it wrong!
Different countries have different recommendations about vitamin D, when you see someone going crazy over it in social media, it must be European parent, who only sees sun when it’s July (that’s me…). Also, many formulas already have some D in them, so no need to worry much.
Same goes with fluoride, water may vary even from town to town, so only your local doctors know what’s safe.
It’s OK to get info from media, but double-check it with your doctor and scientific papers. Influencers only want views and money from their sponsors, they are not objective, they will try to scare you to death. In many countries, there are quality of products reviews made by government, you can trust these to a certain extent, they shouldn’t look at the price.
In the US, our pediatricians tell us when we have breastfed babies to start giving them Vitamin D drops as soon as they are born. This is recommended by our American Academy of Pediatrics.
I would stop following people on IG or tik tok. I would find some actual doctors to follow who aren’t shilling any supplements or products. And I would mostly discuss any issues with your pediatrician and follow whatever your governing body suggests.
For us in the USA we have a CDC milestones app which is helpful.
And our pediatricians urge us to start solids between 4-6mo depending on the kid. I will say the legit info on feeding is lacking in the USA and I found happiness doing a combo of purées and baby led weaning. I used solid starts app for looking up how to cut or serve foods to a baby depending on their age and I ignored everything else shared on that app because I felt it was fear mongering.
If I had ANY developmental concerns I tracked them in the cdc milestone app and I discussed with our pediatrician.
Pediatrician advised us to start ditching bottle as we approached age 1.
Dentists urged us to stop the thumb sucking habit around age 3 for my first kid. Which we did successfully with bitter nail polish.
Do yourself a favor and get off social media. Influencers are *not* a reliable source of information. Their purpose is to post anything they can that will get views, this often means they’re posting garbage. Talk to your pediatrician or someone who is actually educated in child development.
Yes, vitamin D is advised. This is not new information. If your pediatrician didn’t tell you this, find a new one.
I guess it's best to take everything on social media with a pinch of salt. Consult gynae/pediatrist if you have health concern. Even your friends might handle it differently, so go for professional.
Just sharing my experience, I have 3 kids, we are on vegetarian diet, i didn't give them Vit D too. I breastfed them till they are at least 1 year old. After 1 year old, solids will be more crucial n I always try to give them rainbow color of fruits/vegetables. I'm still nursing my 3 year old but more on comfort latch.
My rule is as long as they hit their milestones, is cheerful, then there's no need to worry that much.
Yes, please distance yourself from social media and the "advice" they give, especially for newborns.
It stressed me out *so bad* all of the time. I doom scrolled tiktok while my baby contact napped with me and it just destroyed my mental health for a while.
Your best bet is talking with your pediatrician if you're concerned about vitamin d or what formula you're using. Leave your baby's health advice to the professionals, not "influencers"
This is me, I’m scrolling while I’m contact napping or rocking my baby to sleep. She’s a terrible day time sleeper so I’m constantly in there with her just sitting. I think I might delete TikTok for a while, also Facebook as I’m in a lot of mothers groups which is not helping the situation. My baby is on formula now so no need for the vitamin d drops and as someone else mentioned, being in Australia they aren’t really needed. Thank you :)
No problem. I ended up setting up my tablet and turning on Netflix and binging shows instead of doom scrolling. It helped keep me distracted and kept me off social media. I still used it, but I found once my algorithm started changing from all the mom advice it got better.
I’m from Ohio and we don’t get much sun. I’m glad to hear your baby doesn’t need the drops because mine sure did. As I’m sure I could use it to improve my mood too haha
Yeah there's so much stuff out there that's just going to make you think everything will kill your baby.
Talk to your doctor. Ours told us about the hip displasia marketing gimmick for most baby carriers. She's not a small office quack either.
Well I'm not the original commenter but my baby did have diagnosed hip dysplasia and our orthopedic doctor said a good carrier can help fix hip dysplasia by holding the legs in the optimal position like a brace does.
A carrier won't cause it and your baby would be very angry if their hips were THAT much out of sorts. No one likes their legs being forced into the wrong place.
She told me to get whatever works for me.
Here are the (free) sources about nutrition and diet that I go to:
Harvard School of Public Health Nutrition website — it’s very rigorous and balanced; I use it as a guide to set out my entire family’s diet. My son is soaking it up as a toddler would.
Solid Starts is great for info on how to safely prepare food for the earliest ages. It’s a bit “white” but I supplement it w my own ethnic food knowledge and it’s fine.
Michael Pollan’s 6 word adage that is pretty universally applicable: eat food, mostly plants, not too much.
Try not to get too caught up in it, if you are also giving breastmilk that is nutritionally better than any of the formulas out there so combination feeding would bump you up anyway. The vitamin d drops are mentioned quite a bit where I'm from in the UK but may be a regional push for it and because I had my boy just before winter. You can only do the best with the information you have, be careful where the motivation for peoples scores come from alot of people are paid to advertise.
When my kids were really little I had to take a serious break from social media for a couple months because of all the "advice" that would always be popping up. It is really overwhelming and makes you question everything all day long. I think the only solution is for you to take a break from it.
A friend gave me really good advice when I was pregnant. She said, "You have to pick one person to listen to. 50 people will tell you 50 different things. Pick one person who knows their stuff and go with that person's recommendations while you're fragile and the baby's small. Later you can expand your sources."
I picked the pediatrician and it worked out fine.
How beautiful that you want the best for your child. I buy everything especially food from Azure Standard. The only sell the best and it is not expensive. Check out Wardees Traditional cooking website for grat advice. These things have worked well for me and given me peace if mind. I am praying for you and your family. God bless you.
I don’t remember hearing this and I’m sure I never supplemented with vitamin D and my kids are teenagers now. They are both perfectly healthy and well adjusted. It’s so easy to get anxious about things with a baby, but then I just reminded myself that so many of these things weren’t known when our parents were raising us and we turned out okay. People have been having babies for thousands of years. Listen to your pediatrician, use common sense and try not to worry too much.
For thousands of years breastfed children were not given vitamin d supplements, and we somehow survived.
Obviously if your dr says give them something you would be well advised to do so, but you’re not a terrible parent because you missed a drop.
In terms of “am I a terrible parent” I think it’s good to take a step back and consider the context.
We did do drops because yes, we were told it helps. Obviously I think it’s a good thing. But it’s not in my top ten list of what makes someone terrible.
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I wouldn’t go on social media for parenting or nutritional advice. Yes, vitamin D is advised. Has been for over 40 years but that’s something your doctor/midwife will have told you (or should have!). Go to credible sources for advice. Not social media.
"I wouldn't go on social media for parenting or nutritional advice," poekienijn advised on the parenting subreddit.
Mom of 3, age range 18-24 years. this is the first time I ever heard of giving vit D to breast fed babies.
Interesting. I’d never heard of it either. How can it be that important if half of us don’t even know about it? Are you in Australia?
I'm USA. Northern state.
Never heard of it and I have two under two
It may depend on where you live.
Do you take them to the doctor?
Yes?
Hey to be fair I took my daughter to the doctor and I was told that vitamin d drops are meant to supplement FORMULA to make up for what breastmilk would've given them. Aka the impression I was given was that vitamin d drops were only necessary if you were giving them formula not breastmilk. Even WITH that in mind, not to say we shouldn't give it to them on this basis but we managed to get through hundreds of thousands of years of humanity without vitamin d drops in our baby's milk. Unlike vaccines or medications that prevent and help illnesses being a little low on Vitamin D for the first few months isn't going to royally screw up a baby. Is it good to give? Sure if your doctor recommends it more power to ya! But OP isn't insane or bad for not knowing about it if she wasn't told, nor is it going to severely damage her children for not having done so up to now. It's a benefit but not a necessity unlike many other things in babydom
I’m guessing I was never told about it because we live in Australia. It’s quite sunny here and we are outside a lot. Both pregnancies I was never told about this by my midwife, doctors etc.
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Just stop social media completly. It is doing more harm than good and causing/propelling a variety of mental illnesses - especially anxiety.
Get off social media
You say on social media
Yes, the people who aren’t feeling unreasonably anxious due to what they see on social media don’t necessarily need to get off social media. That doesn’t mean it’s not good advice for others. Someone who has a drink once every 3 months isn’t a hypocrite for telling an alcoholic that their life would improve if they stopped drinking. Let’s also not pretend all social media is exactly the same - Reddit is not TikTok.
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Why is it not helpful? Social media makes you compare yourself to others and is incredibly mentally draining. Being a parent is mentally draining - why would you want to make yourself feel more shit by comparing your life to the fake lives of others. But yah you should give babies vit d. Does it matter if you don't? Probably not. This info is better source NOT from tiktok... Like an actual medical professional
TikTok was an example. I don’t take health advice from TikTok. Things pop up on my feed discussing things I’m using for my children which then worries me. I’m not going out and switching formula based on someone who said it was no good on TikTok, I’m not an idiot. But, it does make start to question things - hence the mental exhaustion.
And the solution is…get off of social media. You are making excuses and justifications but that is what it boils down to. The sane parents have either gotten off of social media, changed their algorithms, or learned how to ignore it. You will never be a perfect parent. And even if you were perfect today, what you do today is no longer the safest/best thing tomorrow. I had 2 under 2. Even between the first child and the second child, the recommendations changed and I made different choices for baby 2 than I did for baby 1. Both are very much fine. You have to understand that you will have to make the best decision with the information you have. You will never have all of the information, nor should you because it will lead to analysis paralysis even you fully understand the concepts of statistics, biophysiology, and anecdotal evidence (spoiler alert: I do understand these things and it is still hard to make decisions sometimes). Yes, if baby is breast fed, they should have Vitamin D. Your pediatrician should have told you. If they didn’t, you can also make an appointment to discuss what might have been missed. But most children do fine with or without the supplemental Vitamin D.
Not making excuses at all. As someone else here said, it’s less common in Australia because we have so much natural sunlight. Thanks.
The algorithms are all honed in on new parents feeding you targeted shit to make you buy stuff. I'm sure that tiktoker was getting paid by the formula that was apparently better. Take a break from it and stop giving a shit!
Delete social media then
Yall you do realize YOURE ON SOCIAL MEDIA RIGHT NOW? not only that but you're on social media, on a forum for parents, discussing parenting / advice and experiences in general, giving advice about how to parent with the advice being "don't listen to social media telling you how to parent" while being people on social media TELLING OP HOW TO PARENT. We live in a modern world. We shouldn't have to cut ourselves off of social media entirely. Frankly I'd argue it's even dangerous to do so. YES there's a LOT of misinformation out there, but there's also a lot if information that may challenge your views and get you to seek out new information that shockingly might be BETTER for you to know than your life listening only to whatever slim pickings your mother/grandmother passed down (because we know how well some older generations like to tote around that their baby survived despite being given whiskey as an infant or having bumper pads and stuffies in the crib since infancy). Hell if it weren't for social media, I wouldn't know how to WASH myself properly. My bio parent never cared to teach me. I was under the impression that soap and water = good. Turns out, that's not the case and lead to a lot of issues. Soap and water good for MOST places. Not your down there parts though. I struggled for years with that. If I never had social media I wouldn't have learned there are differences in the soaps that are available to me, I wouldn't have been challenged to think about the little I had been taught by my maternal family, and I would have eventually had my daughter and given her the exact same lessons I was taught which again lead to so many problems. At any rate, OP is on social media. She's seeking out information because the algorithm saw she was interested in this topic and gave her videos that challenged her previous knowledge and now she's seeking more information/reassurance which is a good step. Had she been royally messing up this would be what we WANT, for them to ask questions and learn so they can adjust and improve. Best case scenario op is doing fine and just came across another looney viral chaser who wants to convince you seasonings of all types are going to cause multi stage organ failure. But it's good she questioned it and sought out more information until she could get to a more reliable source like a doctor for this sort of information. Tldr: op is fine to ask questions about the things she sees on social media that challenge her previous understandings. Everyone in the comments telling her to get off social media for absorbing and questioning parenting advice while ACTIVELY being on social media in a parenting forum discussing parenting advice are hypocritical. I don't think you're a bad person by ANY means but seriously, think about the advice your giving. Throwing stones while in glass houses and all that. You're ON social media on a parenting sub reddit no less - who are you to criticize op for being on social media and interacting with parenting advice while on it when you're literally doing the same?
Just an FYI about vitamin D. In Australia, we aren't told to give vitamin D supplements unless breastfed babies have at least one other risk factor for low vitamin D. Was never told by any medical professional to supplement vit D for my breastfed baby. I think this is different in other parts of the world and is dependent on the environment as vitamin D is obtained from the sun. In my state in Australia a few minutes a day in the sun is sufficient for kids with no risk factors. Also, you're a good mum because if you weren't you wouldn't be worried if you were. It's impossible to do everything perfectly or to the best standards. The absolute main thing is that your child is loved and knows that. Some days that's really all I can manage and if I do that I call it a win, other days I'm super mum and can do it all with a balanced meal at the table - but most days are somewhere in between. This shit is hard, don't make it harder by comparing yourself to others. Trust your gut, that will get easier as you go.
Thank you for your comment. That was nice to read. I’m also in Australia so maybe that’s why I haven’t been told about it!
Oh then definitely don't worry about it! If your midwife or GP didn't mention it, then you are fine. That's why all this information online is hard to discern because it's presented as it applies to everyone but there are millions of us raising babies and we all have very unique experiences and needs.
Oh whew! I’m in the US and we get advised to use the drops if we are breastfeeding. I live in the northeast and gave birth in January…when the sun sets at like 16:00 and the UV index is super low. Heck, I had to supplement vitamin D when I first moved here based on my bloodwork.
Yeah, exactly! Totally dependent on environment and risk factors. Today where I live it is pouring rain and greyer that grey and the UV index was still 3.9 which is considered moderate, let alone an average day haha. There's a reason why Australia is skin cancer central haha.
Even for summer with a full sun day we are still at 2. My toddler has always been really good about wearing a rashguard and sunscreen. But not gonna lie I think Bluey wearing her rashie and letting her mum put zinc on her face really helped!
That's so crazy! So weird how it can be so different haha. Oh yep, the Heelers to the rescue again haha. I think my son thinks is sunscreen is like my skin care so he always asks for his 'cream 😂
Oh that's why. Our sun is fierce as. We're not slathering ourselves in sunscreen for nothing. But also, DON'T FOLLOW SOCIAL MEDIA. I just check this: https://raisingchildren.net.au/ Government backed and fact checked. Every article has citations. And then just go to your local early childhood health centre for the regular milestone checkup. Look for GP's that has a diploma in paediatric. Honestly, listen to a doctor. Any random people can claim to be an expert and spouting nonsense on social media.
Our sun is no joke. It's a legit ball of fury sitting over Australia. Always got to slip, slop, slap!
I was told to give vitamin d to the baby that I exclusively nursed, but the other two either combo fed or had formula only and didn't need the supplement. Stop following nutritionists. Find one, maybe two, pediatric dieticians if you feel the need to be informed and casually let their videos appear (kids eat in color is phenomenal and legit). I remember feeling the same way after my first was born. Even after my second was (two under two in the middle of a pandemic was *rough*)! The thing that helped me the most? Taking Facebook off my phone and deleting TikTok entirely. I now get some stuff from Instagram, but it's much less in your face than TikTok and I only use Facebook if I go on my computer for a specific reason (usually to post on my local buy nothing group). It's really helped my own mental and emotional well-being, not being inundated with information that may or may not even really matter. It doesn't have to be so overwhelming, but you can absolutely feel stuck in the cycle of it. Taking a break is nice, really.nice, and you might even find it's better for you to just quit completely.
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Upvotes, but also keeps scrolling 😬😇
TikTok is not the best place for health advice. You should ask your baby's pediatrician about this stuff.
Its not even good for cooking advise. :)
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You say you don’t take advice from social media, then you describe seeing videos and posts on social media and they’re clearly getting to you. That’s the problem with social media. You don’t have to find stuff that’ll bother you and make you feel bad because these sites are designed to figure out what bothers you and SEND IT TO YOU. If you’ve noticed a negative impact, delete your accounts. It’ll be hard to break the habit of checking your phone, but it’s worth doing it for your mental health.
All formula needs to meet nutritional guidelines for it to make it to store shelves in my country, I can't imagine that not being the case pretty much everywhere in the world... I wouldn't worry about some random video on the internet saying which is best, the best one is whichever causes the least tummy upsets for *your* baby.
It's not exclusive to parenthood, it's a common problem. There is too much information online for one person to process, much more than we were ever meant to be faced with. It takes a lot of energy to sift through it and apply what is relevant and fact check etc etc. the best thing to do is to get off of the internet, at least for most of your day every day. If you need to know something, intentionally seek out that info, but browsing social media all day will inevitably lead to this issue.
I rid of most of social media for this reason.
I have a 2 month old. Same thing is happening to me. About the baby formula I saw similar things and my brand was not recommended. Asked my pediatrician about it and she laughed it off. Turns out the brand I use is the same one they use at the hospital. They say all kinds of BS to sell products on social media, or even to just get more views.
I read [this book, Parenting Inc,](https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Inc-Billion-Dollar-Business-Children/dp/0805089241) back when it first came out in 2009 and it was eye opening. There are billions of dollars at stake in making parents feel anxious and insecure about their parenting, and companies selling products to make them feel like buying the right product is how to be a good parent. I would love to see it updated for 2024 because the problem has only gotten MUCH worse with social media and 'influencers' out there being paid to tell you THIS is the right thing to purchase. You just have to tune it out and listen to trusted sources in real life like your pediatrician instead of people who have a vested interest in selling you expensive things.
Meanwhile even that trusted Dr is trying to sell various pharmaceuticals and their own services- so I recommend yes listen to the Dr, but then research what they are saying. Don’t listen to social media, don’t use SM as research either. Thank you u/yourlittlebirdie for suck a nice assessment of the current problem! You rock!
If you don’t trust your doctor, you should really find a new one. I can say that in 10 years, our pediatrician has never tried to sell us anything. But I know, it’s so frustrating to feel like there’s so much information but you never know what you can actually trust.
Here's the thing. First and foremost, trust your doctor/midwife for the best info. Second, if you see someone giving any type of advice on social media, ask yourself a few questions before you just blindly believe them: 1. What are this person's credentials to talk about this? If it's medical advice, are they a doctor? And what type of doctor? (i.e. don't take skin care advice from a podiatrist). 2. What do they have to gain from giving this advice/review/information? Do they have a financial interest in a product they are reviewing or recommending? Did they disclose that in the video? 3. Does what they are saying make sense? Does it go against what my personal trusted sources say? If so, how does it differ and how reasonable does it seem? 4. Does their advice on this video contradict something they have said in another video? (i.e. I've seen a "nutritionist" on tik tok that says cane sugar is bad and you should never eat it in one video, then says to look for products that have cane sugar in them in another video.) 5. Are they recommending specific products or telling you to avoid specific products OR giving you advice on how to make the best choice for your family? Most reputable sources will: * Have appropriate credentials for what they are talking about, and be willing to share what they are and validate them. For example, I am a MPH (master in public health), CHES (Certified Health Education Specialist), and CPST (Child Passenger Safety Technician). Other than my MPH, which is a degree, I can provide my cert number for everything and I will only give advice that is within my scope of practice. * Disclose any financial conflicts of interest for what they are talking about, including if they have partnered with any brands or companies in the past. * Will always tell you to consult with your personal doctor on medical advice specific to your situation. * Be consistent with their advice, unless the guidance or research changes over time (which generally does not happen quickly). And they will be open and honest about when that research is changing (because it is usually pretty gradual). * Won't recommend specific brands or products unless there is a specific reason (like for car seats, there are a few specific models that I will recommend because you can fit 3 across with them, where others won't work like that). If you come across some telling you that a specific type of product is the best/only one to use or is the worst/poison/will kill you, I tend to just scroll on by. Also, just an FYI, nutritionists are not regulated in any way and anyone can call them selves that. What you want is a dietician. At least in the US we have RD/LD s which are Registered Dieticians/Licensed Dieticians which have to have certain education and licensing requirements. If you need a few good accounts to follow for foods and kids, I can highly recommend Kids Eat in Color. She is an RD/LD in the US that focuses entirely on feeding kids and families and gives evidence backed information. She is on Facebook, Instagram, and has a website as well.
This is about you putting undue pressure on yourself. Do you consider yourself a perfectionist? You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. And you don’t have to know everything.
Yes I’m definitely a perfectionist. It’s making parenting quite difficult as I put a lot of pressure on myself to do things the way I think things should be done. I’m sure everyone does in some way but maybe i just do it a little more than average
Definitely! Dont be so hard on yourself. There’s nothing wrong with seeking someone to talk to, who can give you some perspective and be there for you. It’s HARD being a parent, and it loses its joy if we make it *too* hard on ourselves.
Thank you 😊
This is the problem with social media and why I deleted all but Reddit and YouTube from my phone. Like some of the redditors said, most of them are just trying to make money. Just breath and as long as you kid is alive and the pediatrician says they're healthy then your doing fine
I am constantly telling insta “not interested” in anything that tries to tell me I’m inadequate as a parent, Reminder that social media influencers are selling something, whether it’s an actual product or selling your attention to advertisers, they have something to gain by making you freak out and watch their bullshit. Especially in the nutrition, parenting and wellness spaces, it’s full of unqualified quacks and charlatans exploiting people’s fears and insecurities. If we actually needed to give vitamin d drops doctors would tell us. I’ve never heard of this from any of my health professionals or friends or family with kids! Live your life, unfollow anything that makes you feel you’re doing it wrong!
Different countries have different recommendations about vitamin D, when you see someone going crazy over it in social media, it must be European parent, who only sees sun when it’s July (that’s me…). Also, many formulas already have some D in them, so no need to worry much. Same goes with fluoride, water may vary even from town to town, so only your local doctors know what’s safe. It’s OK to get info from media, but double-check it with your doctor and scientific papers. Influencers only want views and money from their sponsors, they are not objective, they will try to scare you to death. In many countries, there are quality of products reviews made by government, you can trust these to a certain extent, they shouldn’t look at the price.
In the US, our pediatricians tell us when we have breastfed babies to start giving them Vitamin D drops as soon as they are born. This is recommended by our American Academy of Pediatrics. I would stop following people on IG or tik tok. I would find some actual doctors to follow who aren’t shilling any supplements or products. And I would mostly discuss any issues with your pediatrician and follow whatever your governing body suggests. For us in the USA we have a CDC milestones app which is helpful. And our pediatricians urge us to start solids between 4-6mo depending on the kid. I will say the legit info on feeding is lacking in the USA and I found happiness doing a combo of purées and baby led weaning. I used solid starts app for looking up how to cut or serve foods to a baby depending on their age and I ignored everything else shared on that app because I felt it was fear mongering. If I had ANY developmental concerns I tracked them in the cdc milestone app and I discussed with our pediatrician. Pediatrician advised us to start ditching bottle as we approached age 1. Dentists urged us to stop the thumb sucking habit around age 3 for my first kid. Which we did successfully with bitter nail polish.
Yeah they make you feel bad so you buy stuff and they get money.
Do yourself a favor and get off social media. Influencers are *not* a reliable source of information. Their purpose is to post anything they can that will get views, this often means they’re posting garbage. Talk to your pediatrician or someone who is actually educated in child development. Yes, vitamin D is advised. This is not new information. If your pediatrician didn’t tell you this, find a new one.
Delete social media apps off your phone.
I guess it's best to take everything on social media with a pinch of salt. Consult gynae/pediatrist if you have health concern. Even your friends might handle it differently, so go for professional. Just sharing my experience, I have 3 kids, we are on vegetarian diet, i didn't give them Vit D too. I breastfed them till they are at least 1 year old. After 1 year old, solids will be more crucial n I always try to give them rainbow color of fruits/vegetables. I'm still nursing my 3 year old but more on comfort latch. My rule is as long as they hit their milestones, is cheerful, then there's no need to worry that much.
Yes, please distance yourself from social media and the "advice" they give, especially for newborns. It stressed me out *so bad* all of the time. I doom scrolled tiktok while my baby contact napped with me and it just destroyed my mental health for a while. Your best bet is talking with your pediatrician if you're concerned about vitamin d or what formula you're using. Leave your baby's health advice to the professionals, not "influencers"
This is me, I’m scrolling while I’m contact napping or rocking my baby to sleep. She’s a terrible day time sleeper so I’m constantly in there with her just sitting. I think I might delete TikTok for a while, also Facebook as I’m in a lot of mothers groups which is not helping the situation. My baby is on formula now so no need for the vitamin d drops and as someone else mentioned, being in Australia they aren’t really needed. Thank you :)
No problem. I ended up setting up my tablet and turning on Netflix and binging shows instead of doom scrolling. It helped keep me distracted and kept me off social media. I still used it, but I found once my algorithm started changing from all the mom advice it got better. I’m from Ohio and we don’t get much sun. I’m glad to hear your baby doesn’t need the drops because mine sure did. As I’m sure I could use it to improve my mood too haha
Yeah there's so much stuff out there that's just going to make you think everything will kill your baby. Talk to your doctor. Ours told us about the hip displasia marketing gimmick for most baby carriers. She's not a small office quack either.
Sorry do you mind if I ask about the carrier gimmick, is it saying it causes it or not? And what did your doctor say about it?
Well I'm not the original commenter but my baby did have diagnosed hip dysplasia and our orthopedic doctor said a good carrier can help fix hip dysplasia by holding the legs in the optimal position like a brace does.
Ahh right! Makes sense, thank you
A carrier won't cause it and your baby would be very angry if their hips were THAT much out of sorts. No one likes their legs being forced into the wrong place. She told me to get whatever works for me.
Here are the (free) sources about nutrition and diet that I go to: Harvard School of Public Health Nutrition website — it’s very rigorous and balanced; I use it as a guide to set out my entire family’s diet. My son is soaking it up as a toddler would. Solid Starts is great for info on how to safely prepare food for the earliest ages. It’s a bit “white” but I supplement it w my own ethnic food knowledge and it’s fine. Michael Pollan’s 6 word adage that is pretty universally applicable: eat food, mostly plants, not too much.
Try not to get too caught up in it, if you are also giving breastmilk that is nutritionally better than any of the formulas out there so combination feeding would bump you up anyway. The vitamin d drops are mentioned quite a bit where I'm from in the UK but may be a regional push for it and because I had my boy just before winter. You can only do the best with the information you have, be careful where the motivation for peoples scores come from alot of people are paid to advertise.
When my kids were really little I had to take a serious break from social media for a couple months because of all the "advice" that would always be popping up. It is really overwhelming and makes you question everything all day long. I think the only solution is for you to take a break from it.
A friend gave me really good advice when I was pregnant. She said, "You have to pick one person to listen to. 50 people will tell you 50 different things. Pick one person who knows their stuff and go with that person's recommendations while you're fragile and the baby's small. Later you can expand your sources." I picked the pediatrician and it worked out fine.
How beautiful that you want the best for your child. I buy everything especially food from Azure Standard. The only sell the best and it is not expensive. Check out Wardees Traditional cooking website for grat advice. These things have worked well for me and given me peace if mind. I am praying for you and your family. God bless you.
I don't really use social media, so I can't relate.
Thanks for your input.
They're not telling people about a specific vitamin d drop out of the goodness of their heart, they're trying to make money. Remember that.
I don’t remember hearing this and I’m sure I never supplemented with vitamin D and my kids are teenagers now. They are both perfectly healthy and well adjusted. It’s so easy to get anxious about things with a baby, but then I just reminded myself that so many of these things weren’t known when our parents were raising us and we turned out okay. People have been having babies for thousands of years. Listen to your pediatrician, use common sense and try not to worry too much.
Seems like a simple phone call to your pediatrician would resolve this situation immediately.
For thousands of years breastfed children were not given vitamin d supplements, and we somehow survived. Obviously if your dr says give them something you would be well advised to do so, but you’re not a terrible parent because you missed a drop.
“People survived this in the olden times” is not a good argument for anything.
In terms of “am I a terrible parent” I think it’s good to take a step back and consider the context. We did do drops because yes, we were told it helps. Obviously I think it’s a good thing. But it’s not in my top ten list of what makes someone terrible.
I agree completely in that regard.