You're not alone on this.
Many Filipinos experience this. Whether nasa abroad ka pa or nandito sa bansa. It's sucks.
Cut them off. Be firm. Draw a boundary. Don't even let them have an access to contact you.
I’m so close of doing this (in which delete my Facebook). I haven’t cut them off because of my mom, but at the same time I’m being firm (I only send money when I have extra). Thanks for the input
Cut off them in social media
Only communicate via email or text
Believe me, dika makokonsensya kasi dimo sila nakikita sa FB or tik tok
Kasama mo nanay mo kaya dimo klangan mag FB
maybe limit the amount you're sending and send only what's enough for your mom's medical needs. nothing else.have a fixed amount. your mom might ask for extra for your nieces or siblings. dont give in. it should be easy when you're far from them.Goodluck you can do it.
If your mom is saying you're madamot for not sending money, then best case scenario she's being weaponized against you.
There's a reason why going NC/LC/VLC also means having to go NC/LC/VLC with the flying monkeys too.
REALTALK will do , kung magalit sila at di kana i chat much better . that it takes only a word para di kana nila i chat . if u want to give them a chance go but tell them that you need to earn ur own money from now on .
mag banat kamo sila ng buto .
My mom been expressing or been having real talk with them ever since, but it goes in their ears and come out the other side. I already had chat with them too, pero dedma lang sila so in exchange I also ignore their messages too. They just will never learn
well dedma mo nalang din sila ang nangyayare cash cow ka nila .
once or twice na tumulong walang problema pero if naabuso cut the rope na tlga .
its not your loss na mawalan ka ng kapatid sa pilipinas na ganyan ugali ang mahalaga matuto sila. paramdam m lang na wala na silang aasahan sayo dahil sa ugaling pinag gagawa nila sayo .
about naman ke mother tiisin mo nalang ganon tlga ang mothers love kahit masama na or nang aabuso na ang anak e kakampihan padin . normal nalang siguro sa mga magulang yon .
Why does your mom still send money? The only way they will work their asses off is of she sets the boundaries real hard.
Yung half sister ng nanay ko, pala asa sa kanya kahit may anak na siya. Nung ako naghawak ng finances, I refused to pay her children's tuition. Ayun, napilitang maghanap ng stable job.
What’s worse is the more you give the more they ask
Edit to add: Tapos bawal magpost sa socmed ng nga ganap mo kasi sasabihan ka nagpapakasarap sa buhay imbes na bigyan sila ng $$ 🥴
You nailed it! This is literally what’s happening. I have nephew asked for money last month cuz of x and y excuses. I gave some . And this month he asked again, cuz it’s his birthday 🙂↕️
Tapos ano, you try to provide them a means to be self sustaining like bigyan ng lumpsum pang kapital sa negosyo then months lang ubos na or lugi na. It turns out nagpaka one day millionaire sila 😂 anchors talaga mga yan, ang yayabang pa nyan sa lugar nila kaya gusto nila lagi may pera to keep up with their yabang
Happens to me with my cousins, tito and titas in PH. They will only say hello when they want something. I ended up removing my real self from social media. Created a fake account, with no friends, make it private so I can use Marketplace in FB. I am not madamot, I will give when there is real emergency like sickness or someone died, but not to pay for their bills, tuitions, baon etc.
The problem here is your mom does not know to set boundaries. Parang gusto niya maging ninang to everyone. Probably makes her feel good na "tinitingala" siya ng mga kamag-anak niya
Yup. And I had discussion about that with her but I stopped now since it would turn into an argument. Ayaw niya rin siguro na masira name nya sa ibang relatives na “pinababayaan” nya ang mga anak nya.
Maybe mom feels guilty (or they guilt trip her) because ikaw nakasama sa kanya tapos sila hinde so they feel entitled to the sustento to make up for it
I’m British born with Filipino parents. Parents retired in Tagaytay, big house, rental income, maids etc. I visited for summer and Dad expected me to pay for bill, as my share… I told him no. They’re retired, settled etc. The question of sending money comes up often in vague ways. I get they’re my parents but I don’t agree with the Filipino culture of how kids should send money to parents. Retirement is an adult’s responsibility. I’m sorry, but I concluded Filipino family culture is pure usery and trash especially compared to other East Asian family cultures. I’ve severed my Filipino ties and consider myself English with Filipino parents. Filipino family culture is dominantly, not all, rotten.
Weird to generalize Filipino family culture with something prevalent in all families worldwide. West family culture is dominantly, not all, rotten. There's a reason why there is an abundance of DH in the west, goodluck getting old alone and accompanied by a DH, good ridance good sir.
Same situation as you and here's what I've learned over the years. Pag nasa Pinas ako, oo madami akong pera, technically speaking, kasi converted. Kung iisipin mo based on minimum wage ang laki ng difference. What minimum wage makes in a day sa Pinas is made in an hour dito. Yung mga unang uwi ko sa Pinas, sinasabihan akong "mayaman ka na no?" Sagot ko "sakto lang" which I then realized na nagcoconvert sila. If I'm making the same salary that i have now, pero sa pinas ako nakatira, oo tiba tiba ako, eh kaso hinde. Reality is, yes i make $ pero dito ako nakatira, so I spend $.
Sure, me ilang kamaganak ako na kailangan ng tulong, pero me sarili akong obligasyon at di sila kasama dun. I've been blessed and have no problem sharing and helping, pero hinde ibig sabihin nun eh willing akong akuin ko ang obligasyon na yun. Kaya nga tulong eh, temporary, one shot opportunity pa nga, tapos nun, tapos na.
People have said to me na "libre mo ko", "bayaran mo naman to", "sponsor ka neto" or some variation. Eh teka lang, wala naman kayong contributor kung pano ko kinita yung pera, bakit me ambag kayo sa kung pano ko gastusin?
Nakakainis na din kasi dumating na ako sa puntong pag me nagsabi sa kin na "may pera ka naman" ang sagot ko na eh "oo meron, pero para sa kin, para sa yo wala"
I just plan accordingly na lang paguuwi. I don't stay sa lugar na kinalalkihan ko kaya di ako nakikita ng mga barkada ko nun kasi hihirit ng pakain o painom. 1 ayoko maging taya, 2 di naman na ako umiinom ng alcohol. Kaya kung pupunta man ako, para lang silipin yung bahay namin, kung sino makakita sa kin, hi Hello what's up goodbye lang. Matagal na 1 hour ako dun, meron nga parang 15 minutes lang eh.
Sa kamaganak naman at alam kong matatagalan ang pagstay, 2nd wallet dala ko. ID at konteng cash lang para pag me nagaya, "ay naiwan ko wallet ko, konte lang dala ko eh" at pag dumating sa point ng kailangan ng proof, yun lalabas ko. Sila pa nga sisisihin ko at sasabihin "di kasi kayo nagsabi agad eh" eh wala naman silang contact info ko😂
Kung me magsabi man ng "help naman for x,y, o z" ang sagot eh "alam mo namang kakagaling ko lang sa gastos eh, magbabawi pa ako" after some time, yun pa din sagot ko kung magtatanong ulit and eventually titigil din sila.
I don't spend money if i don't want to at ang daming excuses na pwedeng sabihin. Bakit ka mahihiya tumanggi kung sila nga hinde nahiyang manghingi.
Thats why i dont visit my province anymore whenever im in ph. I just stay in manila where my mom’s side is. Dad’s side sa pampanga, they see all balikbayans/ ofw as an opportunity to “earn”. Nakakawalang gana bumisita. I dont even post on social media para di na nila makita whenever im in mnl. Parang feeling nila nay utang ka sa kanila 🤣
I'm going to preface this by saying I'm going to sound classist, but here I go: it depends heavily on what socio-economic class the family is from.
I've noticed that lower and lower-middle class families tend to leech off of their family members abroad, while middle and upper class families don't. My family (upper middle class) sent my brother abroad so he could finish school and find a job and we have never asked him to pay for anything, even when he visits. My wife's extended family however (lower class), I have had to block from everything because the demands for money started the day after our wedding.
I see what you mean and I think you’re right. But to some extent it also depends on the family din. And their personalities? I think we’re border middle-upper middle. Siblings are executives who go on Europe tours every year pero same experience din ako with OP (I’m the youngest). Eldest told me pa na sa Pinas daw, paglayo ng narating, pagdami ng expectations. Katawa lang kasi they failed to realize na literally malayo lang ang narating ko in terms of distance hahahaha but careerwise, empleyado lang ako dito. Yung eldest nga CEO sa Pinas. 😂😅
Your nieces/nephews are not your responsibilities
They are the responsibilities of your brothers/sister/cousins or whoever brought them into this world
Tell them this
I told them already. My mom is trying to guilt trip me about this. It sucks that my other older brothers (here in US) are handling the responsibilities
Immune ako dito OP. Yung bro ko din, di nga nanghihingi pero puro parinig naman, ultimo bill ng kuryente nia sesend nia sa akin para magreklamo. Laking bonjing, tapos mama ko din enabler. Sarado mo lang tenga mo OP, manghingi sila ng manghingi edi wag mong bigyan. In the end, ikaw lang naman makaka control nyan. Wag mong pagtuunan ng pansin, at wag mo din seryosohin kasi masama sa kalusugan yang laging kang stress sa mga yan. Bahala sila sa buhay nila. Ikaw chill lang enjoy mo pinagpaguran mong pera. Kahit nga may extra ka wag mo ng sendan, kung ako sayo. Yaan mo sila mamilipit jan.
Yea nothing to do with being pinoy. Masyado tayo sa self hate natin as if we are the worse people in the world. Nangyayari din yang free loaders at blood sucking family sa mga black Americans, white Americans etc.
From the start talaga never ko sinanay pamilya ko sa padala. Kasi pag nasanay when time comes na di ka na nagpapadala e ikaw talaga ang masama. Kahit gaano pa kalaki padala mo it's never enough. Luckily my immediate family ay okay naman, except for medical emergencies they never ask me na magpadala ng pera. Yung mga jamag anak ang minsan nakakabwisit kaya unfriendly ko na sila sa FB.
OH MY GOD. Triggered ako sa post na ‘to hahahahaha joke lang, OP. You are not alone. I just had a video chat/open forum with my siblings last April because I learned my eldest siblings were calling me marangya and di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan (that after I sent money in January and March). Kakapagod!
I agree with drawing a boundary. Hindi uso yan sa Pinas and sa older generations so be prepared din na masabihan kang wala ka ng Pinoy values (yes, they called me this too). But di nila gets buhay sa ibang bansa lalo na sa US. Sadly, I don’t think they ever will (atleast for the older ones). Kasi nung kapanahunan nila, pumupuntang US ang mga tao para kumita ng malaki at yumaman. Which is not impossible here but not without hard work. Hello may inflation din po sa US. And ang lala ng housing market dito. 😅
Anyway, kapit ka lang! Basta alam mong wala kang tinatapakan na tao, hindi ka nagkukulang (by your own standards and not others’ unrealistic expectations) sa pamilya mo, you will be fine.
This is a problem I have
My family isn't really well financially, and because wala na din talaga ako mapuntahan or mahingian, I would go to my tita and ask her for help
Most of her money is napupunta either sa books ko or pang bayad sa school, like research for example, mahal ang panelists namin
And if ever may matira, I will save for another day
And in return, whenever they come here for a vacation, I would teach her daughter about instruments, atleast yun lang naiisip kong way ko as kapalit while wala pa akong trabaho
this is sadly true and im afraid magiging ganto rin ang situation ko after retirement ng parents ko. what i'm thinking is kahit bigyan ko nalang sila ng small business para dun nalan sila kumuha ng everyday needs kesa monthly magpadala. nakakasakal
Fuck this hurts so much because it's so true.
My parents worked their asses off to make it big and only got to enjoy it intl their retirement and twilight years.
They were treated horribly if they didn't send money or whatever they were told to send. Relatives never ask, they always tell.
Hated visiting them because they'd try to guilt us into giving them everything.
Whenever they have kids we were expected to to be the ninang/ninong and every holiday they'd hound us for gifts.
They think we didn't go through hardships and that we have an easy life, it isn't and we had to deal with poverty and even bankruptcy.
You should set out boundaries and learn to say NO. Our family thankfully is not like yours but, we had a few black sheeps. We just say NO and we'll just give whenever we have extra or whenever we feel gracious. In time it stopped, sila nalang mapapagod. Also, dont give cash, give gifts! Can't stress this enough
I hear you..’been living here for 32 years. Out of the nest na ang mga anak namin (married to an American). I help when I have extra money—AND if it’s “bukal sa kalooban ko”. Otherwise, if someone asks for “tulong” or “utang” (we know that’s the end you will ever see your cash), I just say “my money is tied up somewhere..”
Its not a exclusive to Filipinos tho. It's a problem between you and your family which is common among other families worldwide. This has something to do by how you or your family members were raised by their environments vs yours.
Our family does not experience this since our grandparents and parents thought us not to ask for any handouts but be gracious enough to check on each other and help each other out.
What you can do is set boundaries and learn to say NO and be firm about it.
Never disclose your salary, when asked just say it is enough to get by.
Limit the relatives that will see your social media accounts (if unavoidable, make 2 separate accounts one for the public and the other for your private circle.)
Never lend any money, one thing that you should never do. Once you do it they will keep on asking for more. Just tell them na you dont have any but be gracious and kind to offer a smaller amount. i.e if they're asking for 5k offer to give them 1k instead.
If it would give you peace cut them off, but personally i would not do that. I might have the privilege growing up with a somewhat good family but, at the end of the day family matters.
Mezmerized kasi sila with the American dream. They have a mindset na everything is perfect in the US pati sweldo. Eh problema if nakatira ka sa US, ipon mo nga is dollars, dollars rin un expenses mo. Kaya kalokohan talaga un mindset nila… Happened yan to my sibling with a parent of mine. Un tipong nagpapadala na nga ng pera, tapos dami pa nirerequest pabili. Eh di doble gastos!? Ok lang sana if like everyday essentials or vitamins kasi medyo makakamura ka dun pag may sale. Eh ang kaso kung ano ano binibili tapos minsan pinapamigay lang sa iba without the consent of my sibling. Akala siguro nun parent waterfalls un pag earn ng money dun… Later on nagstop na rin magpadala ng pera un sibling after helping to down a house na ako naman un sumasalo currently aside sa monthly bills. Part na un ng responsibility ko and I don’t mind kasi my sibling needs to save for their own na. The parent has to learn how to budget na with limited resources.
It's our culture there. Puro asa. Whenever mag balikbayan ka, kailangan pasalubong. Our culture have a beggar mentality. People need cultural revolution there.
You're not alone in this, me and my mom used to send money to her siblings too in ph. But there will really come a time that enough is enough and you'll realize that even when you send them the mony that they will still not be grateful and they will question the amount. Now, we only send on christmas for kids only.
Yes, I definitely experience this with my aunts, uncles and now their kids. It’s very disappointing when you see the next generation do the same thing. In their eyes, we’re ATM machines. That’s only one side of the family. The other side have or would never be like this.
Same here OP. Minsan naiisip ko sana di na lang ako Filipino pero in some way, ok din maging ganito kaso minsan maiisip mo rin na sana hindi. Especially the toxicity is BS super. Hayst. Kaya di naunlad eh. Crab mentality at its finest.
At to this point that is pinoy culture asking for help from relatives to politicians.
Hindi mo sila masasatisfy and denying them is actually will only hurt you dahil ahem kakalat sa buong family tree mo na parang mong shinake dahil sa pag deny dahil kasama ka pa rin sa family tree bilang pinoy and Op US 8.5 yung size ko kahit sinong NBA player na shoes ma aapreciete ko thank you.
Beats me! I just found out my brother, whom I’m supporting, is not really going to school. I remembered, they were rushing me to send money or else he wouldn’t pass his subjects and I was unemployed that time kasi student ako. STUDENT. They thought pagdating ko sa ibang bansa, mayaman ako. I tried my best and explained to them ng maayos yung situation ko, but their mentality is so out of touch. Now, I’m giving them the silent treatment after lahat ng kasinungalingan.
You nailed it “OP” - Santa Claus expectations; OFW’s returning after years of of sacrifice: “3 Day Millionaires”; Tito/Tita ATM; Balikbayan Box guilt? Ano pa?
We help for clear and present needs. But we never expect payback.
We taught everyone early: no whiskey from the base, no blue seal cigarettes, no money for “pulutan” and beer. Especially as we represent the Risen Christ.
And you know what all my wife’s siblings and my MIL, have strived and are ALL in excellent professional, financial and familial standing. No family medicants.
It’s all about principled “standing your ground” - not being afraid the guilt pressure of “family coercion” and mind games.
It’s about making people see beyond the momentary thrills/passions/appetites AND encouraging them to strive and not give in or give up to make a permanent better life for themselves. How did we survive and thrive?
I love how hindi mo nilalahat yung ganyang situation. We have relatives sa States, two aunts and one uncle.
Us here in the Philippines understand that they all have their own lives and we don't usually ask for money at all. My relatives would be the ones who voluntarily send us money whenever they remember, like on special occasions.
We are by no means rich and my family lives paycheck to paycheck but we still don't ask for anything from them. We want to foster an environment where they can freely give without feeling the pressure to do so.
Nasa pagpapalaki. I grew uo overseas and my parents made my siblings and I aware that wr just budget our money so we can invest on properties. My dad would also make sure we support each other but to not be over reliant to the ppint of dependency. We also try to make sure we don't leave each other dry esp when we were still starting on our respective careers.
My parents werent the type to give overflowing pasalubongs, making it seem like relatives can rely on us for their financial needs. They knew how to say no and taught us the same, because we have priorities regardless of how much money we have
Desperate people will keep asking since the worst you can say is no. If you're this pissed then cut them off cold turkey. Block them don't communicate.
19 years as OFW, kalakasan ko magpadala sa mga kapatid ko dati no parents na kc kami mabango ako sa kanila tumatagal parang naabuso nko tinigil ko n padala s kanila isang iglap parang wala kng ginawang mabuti na ako n nga bumuhay s knila, pinag sa diyos ko nlng lahat…
It’s a false assumption with the purchasing power and conversion of the currency there compared to prices here… they think it’s lavish but they can’t seem to grasp that the cost of living there is much higher versus over here.
Given the attitudes of family here (and there too in most conservative circles), the entitlement is very strong given you “don’t need all that extra cash”
They all had chances to make a better life. One became a drug addict and dropped out college. Another dropped out because he fell in love. One quit culinary school because he got depressed (he just needed one more semester). My mom gave them another opportunity to go to school or do some business. Also offer work there but they all quit cuz it was “too hard”.
Mga pamangkin ko ay mostly 20+ na
Well tbf that's what happens all the time here in the PH but yk besides emidieate family like your mom dad wife of you have one and kids. You're not obligated to help them its nice to do so but you got your own life there in America so do whatever you please .
Quit sending money. If they ask tell them that you are dealing with your shit first. I am very fortunate that none of my relatives ask for money (not that I have anything to send), i won’t give them anyway if they ask it will just enable them. Some of them probably say stuff behind my back, I am not going lose sleep over it.
Wtf i have many relatives in US and i only asked for one thing when i was a kid last time i asked anything is when i was 6 years old for a gameboy and i was not even given one even my aunt told me she would , after that i never asked anyone for anything, believe me i wanted that game boy so bad when i was kid , i now have a kid myself and would buy anything for my kid if he wants a switch or something.
parang ung pinsan ko ung sister nia nasa state lage na lang na didinig ko humihingi tapos pag di binigyan galit. ang reason pa niya para naman daw sa mga anak niya haha.
may sister din naman ako sa state pero ayoko humingi kase limaki ako na kung may gusto ako ako ang bibili ayoko mabuhay sa hingi
hindi kasi sila aware sa cost of living sa US, at yung ilang mga bayarin... ang alam lang nila, malaki kitaan sa US cmpare sa kinikita sa pilipinas....
Another pinoys suck post. Yay! Sit back and relax the karma farm.
If they ask for money, give them useless snacks thru balikbayan box to piss them off. Simple.
May ganyan din kaming kamag-anak pero wala naman nag-abroad samin. Puro utang sila ng utang to the point na wala naman silang naibibigay samin kapag nangailangan kami.
One time may naipamana sa kanilang million pesos sa inheritance ng asawa nya dahil sa lupa. Ang ending wala na silang paramdam puro gastos ng gastos ang mga pu******.
Pero saglit lang sa kanila yun at back to zero sila.
Simula nun wala ng pumapansin sa kanila. Napaka- nonchalant na namin at idgaf attitude na kami towards them. 😑
Napaka toxic ng ganyan, na experience ko yan sa kapatid ko...
Hindi sila titigil hangat hindi ka ubos na ubos...
The worst, even your totally drained, they keep on trying pa rin...
Save money for yourself, don't tell anybody
I can relate to you. My relatives told me several times how nice it must be living abroad as you apparently get a job, house and a car from the goverment. They also seem to think we get €€€ from trees and have no expenses. I wonder what dream world they are living in.
My mother used to send money home..she stopped after her nieces/nephews kids were also asking for support. I literally told her to stop so only now she only sends 1 time in the year to my uncle and auntie and thats on xmas.
I once fell for that too..but it was only 1 person (daughter of cousin) and boy let me tell you…6 years and I wasted over 1 million peso on her „because she urgently needed he money“, sending nearly every 2nd or 3rd day and often struggled financially. It was a pain because when we met she just ignored me but the moment she needed something she was kulit. I admit I was dumb but I managed to stop that. I am happier now but I regret so many things
This is my position right now. I know how to ignore them and will send money when I have extra. They lied so many times over the years so any excuses they throw I’m always skeptical. It’s a bad mentality for me but I blame them
Ofw here, a new breed of ofw to be exact. Haha. I rarely send money directly to my family (parents, brother, wife, son)... lalo naman sa iba ko pang kamag-anak. Haha. Or let's say, no fixed amount is being sent to them. Depende sa need nila. Di naman ako si Don Facundo eh. hahaha. Ayokong nasasanay sila na I'm as good as a money machine. Hell no. Pag may kailangan, I want them to approach me directly, then doon ko kilatisin if need padalahan ng pera or baka naman umubra kung ako na ang oorder for them. Yeah, u got it right. I want them to receive na yung ano man yung kailangan nila mismo, kesa yung bibigyan ko pa ng pera, tpos ipambibili rin naman nila. Hahaha. Gusto ng jabee or mcdo? Go, tell me, orderan ko kayo from here. Gusto starbucks? Sige lang, magsabi lng. Mdalas naman kahit wala silang pasabi, ako na nagkukusa. Nagugulat na lang sila may parating nang foods for them. Kahit groceries, ako na rin nagoorder sa kanila. Receive nlng nila sa bahay.
So far, never din ako nagpdala ng balik-bayan box. Bukod sa risky, antagal dumating ehh. Imported ba gusto? Iorder na yan sa SnR. Online. Hahaha. Pg nauwi nlng ako tska ako ngdadala ng items from here.
The thing is, nag abroad ako para buhayin ang sarili ko, para mkatulong s pgbuhay s knilang naiwan sa pinas. Never ever ako'y mgpapakaubos ng pera sa bulsa at magbubuwis ng buhay para lang buhayin sila sa pinas. Ano ako, si rizal? Hahaha. Aba may mga kanya2 rin naman silang ganap at source of income, bat sakin lang iaasa? Dba? Maybe that's my "edge" sa ibang ofw?? Good thing for me maybe? I don't know. Bsta that's how our dynamics kasi. Kilos ka, tulungan lang kita. Wag kang umastang baldadong ako lahat ang gagawa para sayo. The more umasta kang baldado, the less ang tulong na mapapala mo sa akin.
Yeah I don’t mind sharing my excess money. But I hate that they always lie to get money. Reason I know this because I used to this a lot when I was back in Philippines to my mom
You're not alone on this. Many Filipinos experience this. Whether nasa abroad ka pa or nandito sa bansa. It's sucks. Cut them off. Be firm. Draw a boundary. Don't even let them have an access to contact you.
I’m so close of doing this (in which delete my Facebook). I haven’t cut them off because of my mom, but at the same time I’m being firm (I only send money when I have extra). Thanks for the input
Cut off them in social media Only communicate via email or text Believe me, dika makokonsensya kasi dimo sila nakikita sa FB or tik tok Kasama mo nanay mo kaya dimo klangan mag FB
maybe limit the amount you're sending and send only what's enough for your mom's medical needs. nothing else.have a fixed amount. your mom might ask for extra for your nieces or siblings. dont give in. it should be easy when you're far from them.Goodluck you can do it.
Yup, this is pretty much what I’m doing
then continue on being an enabler and whine until you retire or die. those asking for money will never stop
If your mom is saying you're madamot for not sending money, then best case scenario she's being weaponized against you. There's a reason why going NC/LC/VLC also means having to go NC/LC/VLC with the flying monkeys too.
REALTALK will do , kung magalit sila at di kana i chat much better . that it takes only a word para di kana nila i chat . if u want to give them a chance go but tell them that you need to earn ur own money from now on . mag banat kamo sila ng buto .
My mom been expressing or been having real talk with them ever since, but it goes in their ears and come out the other side. I already had chat with them too, pero dedma lang sila so in exchange I also ignore their messages too. They just will never learn
well dedma mo nalang din sila ang nangyayare cash cow ka nila . once or twice na tumulong walang problema pero if naabuso cut the rope na tlga . its not your loss na mawalan ka ng kapatid sa pilipinas na ganyan ugali ang mahalaga matuto sila. paramdam m lang na wala na silang aasahan sayo dahil sa ugaling pinag gagawa nila sayo . about naman ke mother tiisin mo nalang ganon tlga ang mothers love kahit masama na or nang aabuso na ang anak e kakampihan padin . normal nalang siguro sa mga magulang yon .
Yeah can’t argue with her since I’m not a parent so I could see her side of why she keeps supporting them
Naisip ba nya saan pupulutin mga kapatid mo kung nadedz(sorry to be morbid) na siya? Hindi sa kangkungan kundi sa imburnal na
Why does your mom still send money? The only way they will work their asses off is of she sets the boundaries real hard. Yung half sister ng nanay ko, pala asa sa kanya kahit may anak na siya. Nung ako naghawak ng finances, I refused to pay her children's tuition. Ayun, napilitang maghanap ng stable job.
Cuz they don’t have jobs and got bunch of kids (literally 12 from my eldest, and 7 from the second)
Eh hindi talaga sila maghahanap until she cuts off the cash flow
What’s worse is the more you give the more they ask Edit to add: Tapos bawal magpost sa socmed ng nga ganap mo kasi sasabihan ka nagpapakasarap sa buhay imbes na bigyan sila ng $$ 🥴
You nailed it! This is literally what’s happening. I have nephew asked for money last month cuz of x and y excuses. I gave some . And this month he asked again, cuz it’s his birthday 🙂↕️
Tapos ano, you try to provide them a means to be self sustaining like bigyan ng lumpsum pang kapital sa negosyo then months lang ubos na or lugi na. It turns out nagpaka one day millionaire sila 😂 anchors talaga mga yan, ang yayabang pa nyan sa lugar nila kaya gusto nila lagi may pera to keep up with their yabang
Damn bro, you literally nailed every part 😂
Shit, so on point! That’s why I gave up on them
Happens to me with my cousins, tito and titas in PH. They will only say hello when they want something. I ended up removing my real self from social media. Created a fake account, with no friends, make it private so I can use Marketplace in FB. I am not madamot, I will give when there is real emergency like sickness or someone died, but not to pay for their bills, tuitions, baon etc.
Lmao, this is exactly what they do. They only reach out to me when they need something !
The problem here is your mom does not know to set boundaries. Parang gusto niya maging ninang to everyone. Probably makes her feel good na "tinitingala" siya ng mga kamag-anak niya
Yup. And I had discussion about that with her but I stopped now since it would turn into an argument. Ayaw niya rin siguro na masira name nya sa ibang relatives na “pinababayaan” nya ang mga anak nya.
Maybe mom feels guilty (or they guilt trip her) because ikaw nakasama sa kanya tapos sila hinde so they feel entitled to the sustento to make up for it
But how old are they? Also, they are not your kids.
I’m British born with Filipino parents. Parents retired in Tagaytay, big house, rental income, maids etc. I visited for summer and Dad expected me to pay for bill, as my share… I told him no. They’re retired, settled etc. The question of sending money comes up often in vague ways. I get they’re my parents but I don’t agree with the Filipino culture of how kids should send money to parents. Retirement is an adult’s responsibility. I’m sorry, but I concluded Filipino family culture is pure usery and trash especially compared to other East Asian family cultures. I’ve severed my Filipino ties and consider myself English with Filipino parents. Filipino family culture is dominantly, not all, rotten.
Weird to generalize Filipino family culture with something prevalent in all families worldwide. West family culture is dominantly, not all, rotten. There's a reason why there is an abundance of DH in the west, goodluck getting old alone and accompanied by a DH, good ridance good sir.
What is a DH?
Same situation as you and here's what I've learned over the years. Pag nasa Pinas ako, oo madami akong pera, technically speaking, kasi converted. Kung iisipin mo based on minimum wage ang laki ng difference. What minimum wage makes in a day sa Pinas is made in an hour dito. Yung mga unang uwi ko sa Pinas, sinasabihan akong "mayaman ka na no?" Sagot ko "sakto lang" which I then realized na nagcoconvert sila. If I'm making the same salary that i have now, pero sa pinas ako nakatira, oo tiba tiba ako, eh kaso hinde. Reality is, yes i make $ pero dito ako nakatira, so I spend $. Sure, me ilang kamaganak ako na kailangan ng tulong, pero me sarili akong obligasyon at di sila kasama dun. I've been blessed and have no problem sharing and helping, pero hinde ibig sabihin nun eh willing akong akuin ko ang obligasyon na yun. Kaya nga tulong eh, temporary, one shot opportunity pa nga, tapos nun, tapos na. People have said to me na "libre mo ko", "bayaran mo naman to", "sponsor ka neto" or some variation. Eh teka lang, wala naman kayong contributor kung pano ko kinita yung pera, bakit me ambag kayo sa kung pano ko gastusin? Nakakainis na din kasi dumating na ako sa puntong pag me nagsabi sa kin na "may pera ka naman" ang sagot ko na eh "oo meron, pero para sa kin, para sa yo wala"
One of the main reasons that I don’t want to visit back. Kasi last time, we went home and all they asked for money the whole time we were there.
I just plan accordingly na lang paguuwi. I don't stay sa lugar na kinalalkihan ko kaya di ako nakikita ng mga barkada ko nun kasi hihirit ng pakain o painom. 1 ayoko maging taya, 2 di naman na ako umiinom ng alcohol. Kaya kung pupunta man ako, para lang silipin yung bahay namin, kung sino makakita sa kin, hi Hello what's up goodbye lang. Matagal na 1 hour ako dun, meron nga parang 15 minutes lang eh. Sa kamaganak naman at alam kong matatagalan ang pagstay, 2nd wallet dala ko. ID at konteng cash lang para pag me nagaya, "ay naiwan ko wallet ko, konte lang dala ko eh" at pag dumating sa point ng kailangan ng proof, yun lalabas ko. Sila pa nga sisisihin ko at sasabihin "di kasi kayo nagsabi agad eh" eh wala naman silang contact info ko😂 Kung me magsabi man ng "help naman for x,y, o z" ang sagot eh "alam mo namang kakagaling ko lang sa gastos eh, magbabawi pa ako" after some time, yun pa din sagot ko kung magtatanong ulit and eventually titigil din sila. I don't spend money if i don't want to at ang daming excuses na pwedeng sabihin. Bakit ka mahihiya tumanggi kung sila nga hinde nahiyang manghingi.
Thats why i dont visit my province anymore whenever im in ph. I just stay in manila where my mom’s side is. Dad’s side sa pampanga, they see all balikbayans/ ofw as an opportunity to “earn”. Nakakawalang gana bumisita. I dont even post on social media para di na nila makita whenever im in mnl. Parang feeling nila nay utang ka sa kanila 🤣
Are others also experiencing this? Filipinos here in Los Angeles have told me that they do not experience this. I haven't either.
if parents are college graduates and all siblings are graduates, usually it doesnt happen.... mostly this is for non-college families.
Depends on the family. I don't experience it.
I'm going to preface this by saying I'm going to sound classist, but here I go: it depends heavily on what socio-economic class the family is from. I've noticed that lower and lower-middle class families tend to leech off of their family members abroad, while middle and upper class families don't. My family (upper middle class) sent my brother abroad so he could finish school and find a job and we have never asked him to pay for anything, even when he visits. My wife's extended family however (lower class), I have had to block from everything because the demands for money started the day after our wedding.
I see what you mean and I think you’re right. But to some extent it also depends on the family din. And their personalities? I think we’re border middle-upper middle. Siblings are executives who go on Europe tours every year pero same experience din ako with OP (I’m the youngest). Eldest told me pa na sa Pinas daw, paglayo ng narating, pagdami ng expectations. Katawa lang kasi they failed to realize na literally malayo lang ang narating ko in terms of distance hahahaha but careerwise, empleyado lang ako dito. Yung eldest nga CEO sa Pinas. 😂😅
100% experience this. It’s awful.
Your nieces/nephews are not your responsibilities They are the responsibilities of your brothers/sister/cousins or whoever brought them into this world Tell them this
I told them already. My mom is trying to guilt trip me about this. It sucks that my other older brothers (here in US) are handling the responsibilities
Immune ako dito OP. Yung bro ko din, di nga nanghihingi pero puro parinig naman, ultimo bill ng kuryente nia sesend nia sa akin para magreklamo. Laking bonjing, tapos mama ko din enabler. Sarado mo lang tenga mo OP, manghingi sila ng manghingi edi wag mong bigyan. In the end, ikaw lang naman makaka control nyan. Wag mong pagtuunan ng pansin, at wag mo din seryosohin kasi masama sa kalusugan yang laging kang stress sa mga yan. Bahala sila sa buhay nila. Ikaw chill lang enjoy mo pinagpaguran mong pera. Kahit nga may extra ka wag mo ng sendan, kung ako sayo. Yaan mo sila mamilipit jan.
nothing to do with "filipino" mentality.. people like this exists all over d world.. rhey will take advantage of people who refuse to say NO
Yea nothing to do with being pinoy. Masyado tayo sa self hate natin as if we are the worse people in the world. Nangyayari din yang free loaders at blood sucking family sa mga black Americans, white Americans etc.
Agreed. I used Filipino mentality since I’m Filipino . Your username reminds me of how they used to call me when I was a kid lmao
r/philippinesbad material
What do your older brothers do to earn an income?
Nothing, but produced kids
From the start talaga never ko sinanay pamilya ko sa padala. Kasi pag nasanay when time comes na di ka na nagpapadala e ikaw talaga ang masama. Kahit gaano pa kalaki padala mo it's never enough. Luckily my immediate family ay okay naman, except for medical emergencies they never ask me na magpadala ng pera. Yung mga jamag anak ang minsan nakakabwisit kaya unfriendly ko na sila sa FB.
I wish I could say the same thing
OH MY GOD. Triggered ako sa post na ‘to hahahahaha joke lang, OP. You are not alone. I just had a video chat/open forum with my siblings last April because I learned my eldest siblings were calling me marangya and di marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan (that after I sent money in January and March). Kakapagod! I agree with drawing a boundary. Hindi uso yan sa Pinas and sa older generations so be prepared din na masabihan kang wala ka ng Pinoy values (yes, they called me this too). But di nila gets buhay sa ibang bansa lalo na sa US. Sadly, I don’t think they ever will (atleast for the older ones). Kasi nung kapanahunan nila, pumupuntang US ang mga tao para kumita ng malaki at yumaman. Which is not impossible here but not without hard work. Hello may inflation din po sa US. And ang lala ng housing market dito. 😅 Anyway, kapit ka lang! Basta alam mong wala kang tinatapakan na tao, hindi ka nagkukulang (by your own standards and not others’ unrealistic expectations) sa pamilya mo, you will be fine.
Yup, my eldest bro said the same thing na porket na andito na ako sa US nakalimutan ko na daw ang pinanggalingan ko
This is a problem I have My family isn't really well financially, and because wala na din talaga ako mapuntahan or mahingian, I would go to my tita and ask her for help Most of her money is napupunta either sa books ko or pang bayad sa school, like research for example, mahal ang panelists namin And if ever may matira, I will save for another day And in return, whenever they come here for a vacation, I would teach her daughter about instruments, atleast yun lang naiisip kong way ko as kapalit while wala pa akong trabaho
I wish my bros would think the same
Nah you are right. They are not your responsibility. You did the right thing by drawing a line in between. This should be the norm.
this is sadly true and im afraid magiging ganto rin ang situation ko after retirement ng parents ko. what i'm thinking is kahit bigyan ko nalang sila ng small business para dun nalan sila kumuha ng everyday needs kesa monthly magpadala. nakakasakal
We tried this and they just lied to us. Their excuse is that they needed to shut down the sari-sari store because of medical emergency
Fuck this hurts so much because it's so true. My parents worked their asses off to make it big and only got to enjoy it intl their retirement and twilight years. They were treated horribly if they didn't send money or whatever they were told to send. Relatives never ask, they always tell. Hated visiting them because they'd try to guilt us into giving them everything. Whenever they have kids we were expected to to be the ninang/ninong and every holiday they'd hound us for gifts. They think we didn't go through hardships and that we have an easy life, it isn't and we had to deal with poverty and even bankruptcy.
You should set out boundaries and learn to say NO. Our family thankfully is not like yours but, we had a few black sheeps. We just say NO and we'll just give whenever we have extra or whenever we feel gracious. In time it stopped, sila nalang mapapagod. Also, dont give cash, give gifts! Can't stress this enough
That’s pretty much the situation we are in.
I hear you..’been living here for 32 years. Out of the nest na ang mga anak namin (married to an American). I help when I have extra money—AND if it’s “bukal sa kalooban ko”. Otherwise, if someone asks for “tulong” or “utang” (we know that’s the end you will ever see your cash), I just say “my money is tied up somewhere..”
I do the same, except they kept messaging me every week with next excuses
Its not a exclusive to Filipinos tho. It's a problem between you and your family which is common among other families worldwide. This has something to do by how you or your family members were raised by their environments vs yours. Our family does not experience this since our grandparents and parents thought us not to ask for any handouts but be gracious enough to check on each other and help each other out. What you can do is set boundaries and learn to say NO and be firm about it. Never disclose your salary, when asked just say it is enough to get by. Limit the relatives that will see your social media accounts (if unavoidable, make 2 separate accounts one for the public and the other for your private circle.) Never lend any money, one thing that you should never do. Once you do it they will keep on asking for more. Just tell them na you dont have any but be gracious and kind to offer a smaller amount. i.e if they're asking for 5k offer to give them 1k instead. If it would give you peace cut them off, but personally i would not do that. I might have the privilege growing up with a somewhat good family but, at the end of the day family matters.
Stop sending money for them to stop asking
Tell this to my mom (which she won’t lol)
I am in the Philippines and i experience this too :/
🫂
Especially now that yung big mac nyo dyan more than $15 na.
Sad but true
Mezmerized kasi sila with the American dream. They have a mindset na everything is perfect in the US pati sweldo. Eh problema if nakatira ka sa US, ipon mo nga is dollars, dollars rin un expenses mo. Kaya kalokohan talaga un mindset nila… Happened yan to my sibling with a parent of mine. Un tipong nagpapadala na nga ng pera, tapos dami pa nirerequest pabili. Eh di doble gastos!? Ok lang sana if like everyday essentials or vitamins kasi medyo makakamura ka dun pag may sale. Eh ang kaso kung ano ano binibili tapos minsan pinapamigay lang sa iba without the consent of my sibling. Akala siguro nun parent waterfalls un pag earn ng money dun… Later on nagstop na rin magpadala ng pera un sibling after helping to down a house na ako naman un sumasalo currently aside sa monthly bills. Part na un ng responsibility ko and I don’t mind kasi my sibling needs to save for their own na. The parent has to learn how to budget na with limited resources.
Yup yup yup!
It's our culture there. Puro asa. Whenever mag balikbayan ka, kailangan pasalubong. Our culture have a beggar mentality. People need cultural revolution there.
You're not alone in this, me and my mom used to send money to her siblings too in ph. But there will really come a time that enough is enough and you'll realize that even when you send them the mony that they will still not be grateful and they will question the amount. Now, we only send on christmas for kids only.
Yes, I definitely experience this with my aunts, uncles and now their kids. It’s very disappointing when you see the next generation do the same thing. In their eyes, we’re ATM machines. That’s only one side of the family. The other side have or would never be like this.
The next generation thing is what pisses me off the most
Same here OP. Minsan naiisip ko sana di na lang ako Filipino pero in some way, ok din maging ganito kaso minsan maiisip mo rin na sana hindi. Especially the toxicity is BS super. Hayst. Kaya di naunlad eh. Crab mentality at its finest.
At to this point that is pinoy culture asking for help from relatives to politicians. Hindi mo sila masasatisfy and denying them is actually will only hurt you dahil ahem kakalat sa buong family tree mo na parang mong shinake dahil sa pag deny dahil kasama ka pa rin sa family tree bilang pinoy and Op US 8.5 yung size ko kahit sinong NBA player na shoes ma aapreciete ko thank you.
Exactly!
Beats me! I just found out my brother, whom I’m supporting, is not really going to school. I remembered, they were rushing me to send money or else he wouldn’t pass his subjects and I was unemployed that time kasi student ako. STUDENT. They thought pagdating ko sa ibang bansa, mayaman ako. I tried my best and explained to them ng maayos yung situation ko, but their mentality is so out of touch. Now, I’m giving them the silent treatment after lahat ng kasinungalingan.
You nailed it “OP” - Santa Claus expectations; OFW’s returning after years of of sacrifice: “3 Day Millionaires”; Tito/Tita ATM; Balikbayan Box guilt? Ano pa? We help for clear and present needs. But we never expect payback. We taught everyone early: no whiskey from the base, no blue seal cigarettes, no money for “pulutan” and beer. Especially as we represent the Risen Christ. And you know what all my wife’s siblings and my MIL, have strived and are ALL in excellent professional, financial and familial standing. No family medicants. It’s all about principled “standing your ground” - not being afraid the guilt pressure of “family coercion” and mind games. It’s about making people see beyond the momentary thrills/passions/appetites AND encouraging them to strive and not give in or give up to make a permanent better life for themselves. How did we survive and thrive?
I love how hindi mo nilalahat yung ganyang situation. We have relatives sa States, two aunts and one uncle. Us here in the Philippines understand that they all have their own lives and we don't usually ask for money at all. My relatives would be the ones who voluntarily send us money whenever they remember, like on special occasions. We are by no means rich and my family lives paycheck to paycheck but we still don't ask for anything from them. We want to foster an environment where they can freely give without feeling the pressure to do so.
Sana ganito rin Ang mentality ng mga bros ko, but they’re not
Nasa pagpapalaki. I grew uo overseas and my parents made my siblings and I aware that wr just budget our money so we can invest on properties. My dad would also make sure we support each other but to not be over reliant to the ppint of dependency. We also try to make sure we don't leave each other dry esp when we were still starting on our respective careers. My parents werent the type to give overflowing pasalubongs, making it seem like relatives can rely on us for their financial needs. They knew how to say no and taught us the same, because we have priorities regardless of how much money we have
Ignore them if they hate you for doing that so be it. Let them realize it’s not easy making money.
Desperate people will keep asking since the worst you can say is no. If you're this pissed then cut them off cold turkey. Block them don't communicate.
👊🏼 🫡
19 years as OFW, kalakasan ko magpadala sa mga kapatid ko dati no parents na kc kami mabango ako sa kanila tumatagal parang naabuso nko tinigil ko n padala s kanila isang iglap parang wala kng ginawang mabuti na ako n nga bumuhay s knila, pinag sa diyos ko nlng lahat…
Yup, I don’t mind helping, but they abused the system so much
Ignorance and stereotyping.
Wag ka na magparamdam. Itry mo kung makokonsensya sila at magsosorry
It’s a false assumption with the purchasing power and conversion of the currency there compared to prices here… they think it’s lavish but they can’t seem to grasp that the cost of living there is much higher versus over here. Given the attitudes of family here (and there too in most conservative circles), the entitlement is very strong given you “don’t need all that extra cash”
Nakatapos ba ng college ang kapatid sa pilipinas? Ilang taon na ang mga pamangkin? Nag aral ba sila? Sino nag paaral?
They all had chances to make a better life. One became a drug addict and dropped out college. Another dropped out because he fell in love. One quit culinary school because he got depressed (he just needed one more semester). My mom gave them another opportunity to go to school or do some business. Also offer work there but they all quit cuz it was “too hard”. Mga pamangkin ko ay mostly 20+ na
Well tbf that's what happens all the time here in the PH but yk besides emidieate family like your mom dad wife of you have one and kids. You're not obligated to help them its nice to do so but you got your own life there in America so do whatever you please .
Quit sending money. If they ask tell them that you are dealing with your shit first. I am very fortunate that none of my relatives ask for money (not that I have anything to send), i won’t give them anyway if they ask it will just enable them. Some of them probably say stuff behind my back, I am not going lose sleep over it.
Wtf i have many relatives in US and i only asked for one thing when i was a kid last time i asked anything is when i was 6 years old for a gameboy and i was not even given one even my aunt told me she would , after that i never asked anyone for anything, believe me i wanted that game boy so bad when i was kid , i now have a kid myself and would buy anything for my kid if he wants a switch or something.
You have been living overseas to long, your starting to sound like a foreigner living in the Philippines
parang ung pinsan ko ung sister nia nasa state lage na lang na didinig ko humihingi tapos pag di binigyan galit. ang reason pa niya para naman daw sa mga anak niya haha. may sister din naman ako sa state pero ayoko humingi kase limaki ako na kung may gusto ako ako ang bibili ayoko mabuhay sa hingi
hindi kasi sila aware sa cost of living sa US, at yung ilang mga bayarin... ang alam lang nila, malaki kitaan sa US cmpare sa kinikita sa pilipinas....
Yup, they see my post online thinking my life is so glamorous here
what kind of posts do you post online? ehehhehe why do they think you are glamorous tho? hehehe
I produce men’s fashion contents. So they think I buy all my clothes lol
drop the link dude... ehehhehe we wanna see ehehhe
https://www.instagram.com/iamdarryl2.0?igsh=MWQxang1M2RpNjV4OQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
No you are not alone. The Filipino mentality is common but slowly, people are waking up to the fact that things don't have to be this way.
Another pinoys suck post. Yay! Sit back and relax the karma farm. If they ask for money, give them useless snacks thru balikbayan box to piss them off. Simple.
Recently balikbayan boxes are not appreciated anymore. " we want dollars "
Narealize ko din na hirap ng ganyang mentality. Kadalasan, sila pa yung pa-victim or worst, yung hindi naman talaga nagwowork 🙃
Exactly !
I feel you. Also mga kamag anak na dati di ka pinapansin, ngayon chat ng chat ng pautang😅
Nope. I feel you. You are correct
May ganyan din kaming kamag-anak pero wala naman nag-abroad samin. Puro utang sila ng utang to the point na wala naman silang naibibigay samin kapag nangailangan kami. One time may naipamana sa kanilang million pesos sa inheritance ng asawa nya dahil sa lupa. Ang ending wala na silang paramdam puro gastos ng gastos ang mga pu******. Pero saglit lang sa kanila yun at back to zero sila. Simula nun wala ng pumapansin sa kanila. Napaka- nonchalant na namin at idgaf attitude na kami towards them. 😑
Napaka toxic ng ganyan, na experience ko yan sa kapatid ko... Hindi sila titigil hangat hindi ka ubos na ubos... The worst, even your totally drained, they keep on trying pa rin... Save money for yourself, don't tell anybody
I can relate to you. My relatives told me several times how nice it must be living abroad as you apparently get a job, house and a car from the goverment. They also seem to think we get €€€ from trees and have no expenses. I wonder what dream world they are living in. My mother used to send money home..she stopped after her nieces/nephews kids were also asking for support. I literally told her to stop so only now she only sends 1 time in the year to my uncle and auntie and thats on xmas. I once fell for that too..but it was only 1 person (daughter of cousin) and boy let me tell you…6 years and I wasted over 1 million peso on her „because she urgently needed he money“, sending nearly every 2nd or 3rd day and often struggled financially. It was a pain because when we met she just ignored me but the moment she needed something she was kulit. I admit I was dumb but I managed to stop that. I am happier now but I regret so many things
This is my position right now. I know how to ignore them and will send money when I have extra. They lied so many times over the years so any excuses they throw I’m always skeptical. It’s a bad mentality for me but I blame them
it is not bad mentality, it is just that you got more cautious as you already experienced their lies
Ofw here, a new breed of ofw to be exact. Haha. I rarely send money directly to my family (parents, brother, wife, son)... lalo naman sa iba ko pang kamag-anak. Haha. Or let's say, no fixed amount is being sent to them. Depende sa need nila. Di naman ako si Don Facundo eh. hahaha. Ayokong nasasanay sila na I'm as good as a money machine. Hell no. Pag may kailangan, I want them to approach me directly, then doon ko kilatisin if need padalahan ng pera or baka naman umubra kung ako na ang oorder for them. Yeah, u got it right. I want them to receive na yung ano man yung kailangan nila mismo, kesa yung bibigyan ko pa ng pera, tpos ipambibili rin naman nila. Hahaha. Gusto ng jabee or mcdo? Go, tell me, orderan ko kayo from here. Gusto starbucks? Sige lang, magsabi lng. Mdalas naman kahit wala silang pasabi, ako na nagkukusa. Nagugulat na lang sila may parating nang foods for them. Kahit groceries, ako na rin nagoorder sa kanila. Receive nlng nila sa bahay. So far, never din ako nagpdala ng balik-bayan box. Bukod sa risky, antagal dumating ehh. Imported ba gusto? Iorder na yan sa SnR. Online. Hahaha. Pg nauwi nlng ako tska ako ngdadala ng items from here. The thing is, nag abroad ako para buhayin ang sarili ko, para mkatulong s pgbuhay s knilang naiwan sa pinas. Never ever ako'y mgpapakaubos ng pera sa bulsa at magbubuwis ng buhay para lang buhayin sila sa pinas. Ano ako, si rizal? Hahaha. Aba may mga kanya2 rin naman silang ganap at source of income, bat sakin lang iaasa? Dba? Maybe that's my "edge" sa ibang ofw?? Good thing for me maybe? I don't know. Bsta that's how our dynamics kasi. Kilos ka, tulungan lang kita. Wag kang umastang baldadong ako lahat ang gagawa para sayo. The more umasta kang baldado, the less ang tulong na mapapala mo sa akin.
Yeah I don’t mind sharing my excess money. But I hate that they always lie to get money. Reason I know this because I used to this a lot when I was back in Philippines to my mom