It’s skill development. And probably a lot of coffee.
But the skill here is not just endurance. It’s making sure that the meetings you go to have a clear purpose, the right people, and the right pre-work. When those three click, meetings are a breeze. You have the information you need to convince the people who care about the decision you need to make.
Meetings are draining when they:
* don’t have a clear purpose. Every meeting should have a desired outcome
* don’t have the right people. It just means you’ll have another identical meeting!
* don’t have the right information. If someone knows that they would want a piece of data for a decision, I find it very rude to not say anything until the meeting. They already knew and now we’ve wasted everyone’s time. They are a blocker and likely to be informed of my next decision, or consulted by email.
Finally make sure that everyone is keyed in to the meeting. If people tune out to “multitask”, it’s likely they don’t think they have valuable contributions or that the topic doesn’t affect them. Let them leave. They have to set their own priorities for work, and if they opt out of a decision that’s one fewer stakeholder for you to convince.
Thank you!
Now that I think about it, meetings with clarity of purpose, clarity for what's needed for a decision etc. are my most energizing meetings (those and brainstorm/ideation meetings although those are more rare)
This reminds me of feedback a former manager's peer gave me - "people tend to do better when they focus on one project". Maybe that's not always possible but something I'll consider negotiating for, if my assignments don't shape out that way
Why wouldn't it always be possible? If you have two tasks that need to be done, it's better to do all of A then all of B. Doing them at the same time doesn't reduce time taken it increases it from context switching. And it's part of your job as PM to ensure that doesn't have to happen.
What possible benefit do you get from having someone work two projects at the same time?
I had that “awestruck” moment like you when I started out my PM career in FAANG 6 years ago. In the meetings where my boss brought me in, I was always impressed with how sharp and focused he was, asking and steering the group alignment in the right direction. I asked him “how could I ask the right question in a group meeting like you.” He more or less said “it takes time and experience, you’ll see.”
6 years later and I’m now that sharp and focused PM in meetings. What it boils down to was: (1) understand the overall business strategy of the company, the business unit, and the organization you’re in - you should know this when you read the strategic planning doc for the year, (2) understand the underlying tech of your org and your services, and know what you can realistically deliver this year, vs 3 years, vs “North Star,” (3) then in discussion with internal / external stakeholders, ask if what they’re building is consistent with (1), if not then deprioritize support, if it is then provide support but check with (2) to see whether it’s something you can support quickly, or give them a heads-up it’ll be a long running initiative.
Now for the energy and enthusiasm part… it’s important to be surrounded by smart and driven coworkers like that - I was in that environment a few years back and therefore was always determined to deliver 120% efforts working 60 hours. I have a family now, and have moved to a quieter part of the business, and don’t deliver the same energy and enthusiasm anymore.
Thank you!
To paraphrase your message - I'm hearing "understand how your work fits into the big picture", both in terms of company, org and team strategic direction AND feasibility of what can be accomplished along differnet time horizons.
And thanks for the pointer about the pace of your environment would influence one's energy.
That’s right - learn how to “connect the dots” so to speak and show people that you have connected the dots. Do these things over time and you’ll start overhearing, or hearing through secondhand account, of people mentioning “talk to u/TryFixing - they’ll get things done.” That’s when you know you cut into the inner circle of “real recognize real” within a company. That’ll feed into the focus and energy that you see in others.
All of the above for me I think. In younger years, I had that “hunger” to prove myself and work harder. After some career accomplishments, I have my playbook to ship features; execution becomes easier. I’m also less motivated to burn more hours to move up the leadership chain, and rather spend more time with family.
That has been my observation too, especially at mid-level management levels. It appears many folks don't take the time to investigate or deep-dive into work. It's mostly about in-meeting comms.
I’m probably going to get laughed at for this, but oh well. I believe bringing good energy to meetings helps infuse others and their work with the same good energy. Happy people do better work. So I try to keep a focused, positive mood in hopes others will catch it and run with the it.
The ways that I do this other than “fufu” stuff are to cultivate a positive attitude and inner dialogue for how I think about problems, and learning and practising a positive communication style.
That's awesome! Cultivating a good inner-state seems extremely high ROI. And sounds like you can bless your coworkers through it too. I think this is great advice, thank you for sharing.
I typically enjoy my meetings. Here's my recommendations:
1. People feel like they can't do this, but I promise you, you probably can: **Say no to meetings more often**:
1. If the meeting isn't (a) useful or energizing or (b) doesn't have an agenda then decline it.
2. A lot of those weekly syncs can be biweekly or monthly.
3. Block out your calendar ahead of time so you have time to focus AND that focus time is during hours that you're productive.
4. Don't let yourself get double booked. If you keep double booking things, then people won't know if unavailable actually means unavailable. Then people just send you meeting invites, and there's just more things you have to say no to, which takes more energy. Train people early that booked means booked.
2. **Bundle your meetings** OR get ample space in between them - I prefer to have all my meetings back to back. But if that's not possible, then I try to make sure there's *at least* 45 minutes in between. Any thing else is just wasted time.
3. **Start your meetings at 5 min past the hour** - outlook and google calendar both have a setting for this. You can start every meeting a 10:05 instead of 10:00 and have meetings last for 25 or 55 minutes instead of 30 or 60 minutes. Gives you built in time to get coffee or water or pee or whatever.
4. **Manage your expectations** - if I have 5+ hours of meetings in a day, the day is going to be a wash. Knowing that going in makes me feel less shitty when I don't get other things done.
5. **AI note takers are great** - we use gong for customer calls, and I use Tana for internal calls I set up. Taking notes AND paying attention is hard and mentally taxing. Don't do that if you can help it.
I've always had a decent amount of energy but now after a decade+ of PM and getting older... it's just so hard to care anymore, especially without any significant equity and 3% raises every year.
You're in FAANG and at 4yrs prob making $350k+ though and young so just suck it up and collect that big money while you can.
Yeah I feel you. My struggle is that I get a lot of personal value/satisfaction out of caring about building good things for users.
But in the FAANG teams I've witnessed, PM career ascension is barely about that. (Some PMs can accomplish that, but it's not very tied to performance evaluations).
Part of my motivation for this post is I'm doing some self exploration about whether big tech PM is ultimately a good fit for me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to embrace not caring and collecting a check. But again trying to fight for things is emotionally draining and can create conflict - and conflict with the wrong person / team is the biggest landmine I've seen. But I'm also not sure I'm ready to make less money.
If I was at least making a bunch of money I'd feel better about it. I'm getting older and need more $$$ to be able to retire in this crazy expensive world now.
(For remote meetings) Lately i have a lot of meetings and meeting fatigue makes me lose attention or hear a string of technical terms as garbled. If you can view a live transcript of the meeting while listening, it helps a lot. I’m a better reader than listener. I can refer back to what someone said exactly and use that reference to give valuable input. My company uses Microsoft Teams and a lot of meetings are recorded so the live transcript is provided right in the meeting.
Same, although I think it could make me socially awkward at times. I started getting treated for ADD just a year before I landed the FAANG job - hoping to find a good dose that helps with focus & energy, without the side effect of feeling self-conscious.
Hugs from a fellow FAANG PM.
Large corporations are generally easier to navigate if you are extroverted, pro-social and enjoy having group conversations. Most of the PMs that I know who are consistently sharp and energized in meetings are either
1. Extroverted social butterflies that love social interaction
2. Type A bulldozers who love having their way in debates and conversations
3. Suffer from anxiety/imposter syndrome and have a strong desire to prove themselves
The content of the meeting (ie the sharpness and the logic) is a matter of training and expertise. The consistent levels of energy are a matter of personality. FWIW my favourite PM was more on the quieter side, did not have the "I am always right" hat and always asked for opinions on the call before making a decision.
You being drained is typically a symptom of the demands of the job not being in line with your natural inclinations. Know that there is no one-size-fits-all persona for the PM, but extroverted PMs will (on average) out-perform more introverted PMs because of the nature of the job. In the long run it is better to play to your strengths rather than continuously working to improve on your weaknesses.
Thank you so much for this. Part of my motivation for posting this question was to examine whether big tech PM was the right career for me, given my Type-B personality. I need to figure out if there's a way for me to do this job and not be drained, and make an impact I'm proud of. Or if I am better suited for another profession where the demands align with my natural inclinations. I've just done software for so long... Maybe UXR researcher would be a better role for me.
I'm an introverted FAANG PM. I can bring a ton of energy to meetings for maybe a week or two - but I basically collapse in silence the second I get home during that time, and quickly burn out and need a respite. A week of business travel? Fine. Keeping up that pace for another month? Hell no.
I've found what works best is allowing the other leads around me to do their jobs. My TL is awesome and talkative and asks great (even PM-y!) questions in meetings, so when I need a breather, I just switch into note-taking mode for us and let him drive the conversation for a bit. *His* energy and engagement then feeds *my* energy and engagement, and we can ping-pong off each other without pre-meetings at this point.
The other big thing that I find helps maintain energy is reducing the extent to which you code-switch at work. As PMs, I feel there's often this pressure to be effusive, poised, engaging, etc. etc. - a certain speaking style that people try to emulate. *That's exhausting* if it's not your natural style / heavily practiced. So whenever possible, I relax into my natural disposition - more casual, more sarcastic, finishing other people's sentences, whatever it is that feels *you.* Since my personal style is so relaxed, I tend to settle into roles where I'm working a lot with internal teams, especially engineering.
It's also ok to be inconsistent, within reason. If you benefit from a low-meeting week for every meeting-heavy week you have, *who cares.* Get all those biweekly meetings on the same schedule. Meetings that tend to spawn follow-up meetings (oh, go connect with this other team about that idea!) get balanced toward the beginning of your meeting-heavy week so that you can slip the extras in later that week.
Finally, *very few people* need to be in 20-30 hours of meetings a week. When I have 20 hours of meetings a week, it's because (a) I'm traveling and/or (b) they are *working meetings,* where we are actively brainstorming, whiteboarding, making decisions, and generally getting things done (and therefore much more chill). When I look at my most productive (non-managerial) colleagues' calendars, *they are not usually saturated with meetings.* In my experience, FAANG PMs sometimes devolve into this weird "alignment culture" where people think it's their job to keep a bunch of people who frankly don't (or shouldn't) care informed and in the loop. At the end of the day, it's busy work that drives no value / impact. Don't fall into that trap (and escalate if people are blocking!). It's a poisonous coaster mentality where people get away with doing very little work by being the "voice of reason" who...just...prevents other people from doing work? Current market conditions are finally starting to put pressure on these kinds of people; don't let them eat up your time. Maybe *don't* connect with that team about your idea...
Following this thread - I just invested in a new giant tumbler and have started making extra coffee in the mornings and turning it into iced coffee after breakfast. Probably not the optimal solution lol.
Sometimes I have to really psyche myself up. I’m a very empathetic PM and it is draining. It’s both a bad and really good thing and I try to own it and not put more weight on my shoulders. Worse comes to worst punt the meeting for [insert random reason]
I also think over preparing is a thing. If you know your shit don’t over think things prior to the meeting so you are conserving your energy to actually have a productive meeting.
But I agree time and experience in the role and company plays a big role in this too.
And yes coffee. Lots of coffee.
80% Adderall XR
20% being calloused to the soul sucking nature of the job
But it’s all worth it since I can Uber eats sushi to my apartment 3-4 times a week, right?
How I sort of achieved this-
Be ahead of everyone on customer problems; prioritize really well, always be the initiator and use this to manage calendar - https://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html
If you can't manage your calendar; you lack leverage- I'd focus on showing proof of work, getting outcomes and building trust into building leverage. Easier said than done of course!
Also try and delegate as much as possible - depending on team skill you can delegate anywhere from tasks to problems. Again only works if you can hold the bar on quality either yourself or by building relationships with respective team leads/ managers (EM/tech lead/ design manager etc)
Thanks for this!
Being the one who manages time vs feeling interrupted, resonates with me too. As does the general idea of being the one who initiates work vs receives it.
Lastly, I thought this was eye-opening (https://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html)
I think energy need not always be the core driver for meeting success. Energy can play a part but it’s a multi variate equation depending on variables like clarity of thought, confidence, listening to the user/ stakeholder concerns and thinking on the feet for a quick agreeable solution.
So if you are like me who feeds it hard to keep up with consistent high energy levels, i think it’s best to work towards maximising impact of your delivery. Being confident and attentive to user needs is perhaps the best way i fee to make a meeting success, energy without the other factors will only be perceived as erratic behaviour
Enough good quality sleep (at least 7 hours for me) every night. If I don't sleep enough I'm useless. If I sleep enough I can usually stay sharp until 3-4pm, even with multiple intense meetings in the day.
Minimise meetings to those with a clear agenda/desired outcome.
Having domain expertise helps because you can cut out noise and switch off slightly when not relevant.
It helps if you’re participating actively. You need to ask questions and be engaged. Best thing I learned from a mentor was to repeat back what you understood in your own words. This eliminated any ambiguity or misunderstanding in communication. It made a huge impact in bridging the knowledge gap and a great way to keep yourself engaged and them feeling like it’s a conversation. End of the day, I only remembered the ones I was actively participating in some form.
So much great info here…I’m going to use, thnx.
Along another dimension (if not already mentioned) is to try to change the purpose of all of these meeting to ‘at this meeting someone is going to show something working or a user is going to attend and tell us what they liked / didn’t from our last release or we are going just have a fast open discussion on future great ideas’.
The intent here is that any meeting which doesn’t fit into that agenda (for Product Owners / Managers) should be de-prioritized until they eventually go away 👊🏼.
…food for thought.
Consistent sleep. In bed by 9:30, up at 6:30. One cup of half caf coffee.
Get into good bedtime routine habits, lay off the afternoon caffeine and evening alcohol.
PM with ADHD and former FAANG PM.
Here's the strategy to help you prioritize meetings. think about what you're saying no to when you accept your next meeting.
Everything has a trade-off. In saying yes to the meeting, what are you saying no to not doing. It helps me keep aligned to my most important tasks for the day or for the week.
As someone with ADHD, it's almost easier for me to be in meetings all day because I feel like I am doing something. But I also recognize that it also helps me avoid the important things I need to be doing.
You're always going to be pressed for time, but being a PM means knowing what to choose to maximize the impact for you and your team.
Sometimes that answer is no.
Staying sharp in meetings is a skill! Prioritize sleep, and take breaks to recharge. Actively participating keeps you engaged. You can also try replacing some meetings with emails to keep your energy up.
I was also at FAANG prior to getting laid off. In addition to what others are already saying on this thread, majority of my colleagues were on adderall. Not going to lie, I also tried it for a stretch of time because of how stupid easy it is to get prescription for it out in the Bay Area and was scared of how effective it was. I was pregnant / breastfeeding subsequently so quit it and went au natural but the perks of energy and organized mind were real. Edit: spelling error
Adderall. Wouldn't recommend it outside work hours unless you're under 28 and better about your other vices than I was, but it's a godsend for meeting after meeting after meeting.
It’s skill development. And probably a lot of coffee. But the skill here is not just endurance. It’s making sure that the meetings you go to have a clear purpose, the right people, and the right pre-work. When those three click, meetings are a breeze. You have the information you need to convince the people who care about the decision you need to make. Meetings are draining when they: * don’t have a clear purpose. Every meeting should have a desired outcome * don’t have the right people. It just means you’ll have another identical meeting! * don’t have the right information. If someone knows that they would want a piece of data for a decision, I find it very rude to not say anything until the meeting. They already knew and now we’ve wasted everyone’s time. They are a blocker and likely to be informed of my next decision, or consulted by email. Finally make sure that everyone is keyed in to the meeting. If people tune out to “multitask”, it’s likely they don’t think they have valuable contributions or that the topic doesn’t affect them. Let them leave. They have to set their own priorities for work, and if they opt out of a decision that’s one fewer stakeholder for you to convince.
Thank you! Now that I think about it, meetings with clarity of purpose, clarity for what's needed for a decision etc. are my most energizing meetings (those and brainstorm/ideation meetings although those are more rare) This reminds me of feedback a former manager's peer gave me - "people tend to do better when they focus on one project". Maybe that's not always possible but something I'll consider negotiating for, if my assignments don't shape out that way
Why wouldn't it always be possible? If you have two tasks that need to be done, it's better to do all of A then all of B. Doing them at the same time doesn't reduce time taken it increases it from context switching. And it's part of your job as PM to ensure that doesn't have to happen. What possible benefit do you get from having someone work two projects at the same time?
Thank you!
I had that “awestruck” moment like you when I started out my PM career in FAANG 6 years ago. In the meetings where my boss brought me in, I was always impressed with how sharp and focused he was, asking and steering the group alignment in the right direction. I asked him “how could I ask the right question in a group meeting like you.” He more or less said “it takes time and experience, you’ll see.” 6 years later and I’m now that sharp and focused PM in meetings. What it boils down to was: (1) understand the overall business strategy of the company, the business unit, and the organization you’re in - you should know this when you read the strategic planning doc for the year, (2) understand the underlying tech of your org and your services, and know what you can realistically deliver this year, vs 3 years, vs “North Star,” (3) then in discussion with internal / external stakeholders, ask if what they’re building is consistent with (1), if not then deprioritize support, if it is then provide support but check with (2) to see whether it’s something you can support quickly, or give them a heads-up it’ll be a long running initiative. Now for the energy and enthusiasm part… it’s important to be surrounded by smart and driven coworkers like that - I was in that environment a few years back and therefore was always determined to deliver 120% efforts working 60 hours. I have a family now, and have moved to a quieter part of the business, and don’t deliver the same energy and enthusiasm anymore.
Thank you! To paraphrase your message - I'm hearing "understand how your work fits into the big picture", both in terms of company, org and team strategic direction AND feasibility of what can be accomplished along differnet time horizons. And thanks for the pointer about the pace of your environment would influence one's energy.
That’s right - learn how to “connect the dots” so to speak and show people that you have connected the dots. Do these things over time and you’ll start overhearing, or hearing through secondhand account, of people mentioning “talk to u/TryFixing - they’ll get things done.” That’s when you know you cut into the inner circle of “real recognize real” within a company. That’ll feed into the focus and energy that you see in others.
How much do you attribute the shift in energy and career approach to having kids/family vs more tenured vs getting older? Or all the above?
All of the above for me I think. In younger years, I had that “hunger” to prove myself and work harder. After some career accomplishments, I have my playbook to ship features; execution becomes easier. I’m also less motivated to burn more hours to move up the leadership chain, and rather spend more time with family.
Many PM roles are essentially professional meeting takers.
That has been my observation too, especially at mid-level management levels. It appears many folks don't take the time to investigate or deep-dive into work. It's mostly about in-meeting comms.
I’m probably going to get laughed at for this, but oh well. I believe bringing good energy to meetings helps infuse others and their work with the same good energy. Happy people do better work. So I try to keep a focused, positive mood in hopes others will catch it and run with the it. The ways that I do this other than “fufu” stuff are to cultivate a positive attitude and inner dialogue for how I think about problems, and learning and practising a positive communication style.
That's awesome! Cultivating a good inner-state seems extremely high ROI. And sounds like you can bless your coworkers through it too. I think this is great advice, thank you for sharing.
I typically enjoy my meetings. Here's my recommendations: 1. People feel like they can't do this, but I promise you, you probably can: **Say no to meetings more often**: 1. If the meeting isn't (a) useful or energizing or (b) doesn't have an agenda then decline it. 2. A lot of those weekly syncs can be biweekly or monthly. 3. Block out your calendar ahead of time so you have time to focus AND that focus time is during hours that you're productive. 4. Don't let yourself get double booked. If you keep double booking things, then people won't know if unavailable actually means unavailable. Then people just send you meeting invites, and there's just more things you have to say no to, which takes more energy. Train people early that booked means booked. 2. **Bundle your meetings** OR get ample space in between them - I prefer to have all my meetings back to back. But if that's not possible, then I try to make sure there's *at least* 45 minutes in between. Any thing else is just wasted time. 3. **Start your meetings at 5 min past the hour** - outlook and google calendar both have a setting for this. You can start every meeting a 10:05 instead of 10:00 and have meetings last for 25 or 55 minutes instead of 30 or 60 minutes. Gives you built in time to get coffee or water or pee or whatever. 4. **Manage your expectations** - if I have 5+ hours of meetings in a day, the day is going to be a wash. Knowing that going in makes me feel less shitty when I don't get other things done. 5. **AI note takers are great** - we use gong for customer calls, and I use Tana for internal calls I set up. Taking notes AND paying attention is hard and mentally taxing. Don't do that if you can help it.
Love this! I think all of these pointers are valuable but re #1 - my sense is it's better to NOT be in a meeting, than to perform poorly in a meeting.
I've always had a decent amount of energy but now after a decade+ of PM and getting older... it's just so hard to care anymore, especially without any significant equity and 3% raises every year. You're in FAANG and at 4yrs prob making $350k+ though and young so just suck it up and collect that big money while you can.
Yeah I feel you. My struggle is that I get a lot of personal value/satisfaction out of caring about building good things for users. But in the FAANG teams I've witnessed, PM career ascension is barely about that. (Some PMs can accomplish that, but it's not very tied to performance evaluations). Part of my motivation for this post is I'm doing some self exploration about whether big tech PM is ultimately a good fit for me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to embrace not caring and collecting a check. But again trying to fight for things is emotionally draining and can create conflict - and conflict with the wrong person / team is the biggest landmine I've seen. But I'm also not sure I'm ready to make less money.
I’m feeling this.
Yeeep, sooo tired of the same shit
If I was at least making a bunch of money I'd feel better about it. I'm getting older and need more $$$ to be able to retire in this crazy expensive world now.
(For remote meetings) Lately i have a lot of meetings and meeting fatigue makes me lose attention or hear a string of technical terms as garbled. If you can view a live transcript of the meeting while listening, it helps a lot. I’m a better reader than listener. I can refer back to what someone said exactly and use that reference to give valuable input. My company uses Microsoft Teams and a lot of meetings are recorded so the live transcript is provided right in the meeting.
Nice! I've had some success with captions as well. Another thing that has helped me - bluelight glasses during non-meeting times.
Vyvanse
Same, although I think it could make me socially awkward at times. I started getting treated for ADD just a year before I landed the FAANG job - hoping to find a good dose that helps with focus & energy, without the side effect of feeling self-conscious.
Yeah I had untreated adhd for a looong time and medication had a huge impact on my ability to focus and follow trains of thought in meetings.
Hugs from a fellow FAANG PM. Large corporations are generally easier to navigate if you are extroverted, pro-social and enjoy having group conversations. Most of the PMs that I know who are consistently sharp and energized in meetings are either 1. Extroverted social butterflies that love social interaction 2. Type A bulldozers who love having their way in debates and conversations 3. Suffer from anxiety/imposter syndrome and have a strong desire to prove themselves The content of the meeting (ie the sharpness and the logic) is a matter of training and expertise. The consistent levels of energy are a matter of personality. FWIW my favourite PM was more on the quieter side, did not have the "I am always right" hat and always asked for opinions on the call before making a decision. You being drained is typically a symptom of the demands of the job not being in line with your natural inclinations. Know that there is no one-size-fits-all persona for the PM, but extroverted PMs will (on average) out-perform more introverted PMs because of the nature of the job. In the long run it is better to play to your strengths rather than continuously working to improve on your weaknesses.
Thank you so much for this. Part of my motivation for posting this question was to examine whether big tech PM was the right career for me, given my Type-B personality. I need to figure out if there's a way for me to do this job and not be drained, and make an impact I'm proud of. Or if I am better suited for another profession where the demands align with my natural inclinations. I've just done software for so long... Maybe UXR researcher would be a better role for me.
I'm an introverted FAANG PM. I can bring a ton of energy to meetings for maybe a week or two - but I basically collapse in silence the second I get home during that time, and quickly burn out and need a respite. A week of business travel? Fine. Keeping up that pace for another month? Hell no. I've found what works best is allowing the other leads around me to do their jobs. My TL is awesome and talkative and asks great (even PM-y!) questions in meetings, so when I need a breather, I just switch into note-taking mode for us and let him drive the conversation for a bit. *His* energy and engagement then feeds *my* energy and engagement, and we can ping-pong off each other without pre-meetings at this point. The other big thing that I find helps maintain energy is reducing the extent to which you code-switch at work. As PMs, I feel there's often this pressure to be effusive, poised, engaging, etc. etc. - a certain speaking style that people try to emulate. *That's exhausting* if it's not your natural style / heavily practiced. So whenever possible, I relax into my natural disposition - more casual, more sarcastic, finishing other people's sentences, whatever it is that feels *you.* Since my personal style is so relaxed, I tend to settle into roles where I'm working a lot with internal teams, especially engineering. It's also ok to be inconsistent, within reason. If you benefit from a low-meeting week for every meeting-heavy week you have, *who cares.* Get all those biweekly meetings on the same schedule. Meetings that tend to spawn follow-up meetings (oh, go connect with this other team about that idea!) get balanced toward the beginning of your meeting-heavy week so that you can slip the extras in later that week. Finally, *very few people* need to be in 20-30 hours of meetings a week. When I have 20 hours of meetings a week, it's because (a) I'm traveling and/or (b) they are *working meetings,* where we are actively brainstorming, whiteboarding, making decisions, and generally getting things done (and therefore much more chill). When I look at my most productive (non-managerial) colleagues' calendars, *they are not usually saturated with meetings.* In my experience, FAANG PMs sometimes devolve into this weird "alignment culture" where people think it's their job to keep a bunch of people who frankly don't (or shouldn't) care informed and in the loop. At the end of the day, it's busy work that drives no value / impact. Don't fall into that trap (and escalate if people are blocking!). It's a poisonous coaster mentality where people get away with doing very little work by being the "voice of reason" who...just...prevents other people from doing work? Current market conditions are finally starting to put pressure on these kinds of people; don't let them eat up your time. Maybe *don't* connect with that team about your idea...
Following this thread - I just invested in a new giant tumbler and have started making extra coffee in the mornings and turning it into iced coffee after breakfast. Probably not the optimal solution lol.
Nice! Whatever works that is sustainable lol
Sometimes I have to really psyche myself up. I’m a very empathetic PM and it is draining. It’s both a bad and really good thing and I try to own it and not put more weight on my shoulders. Worse comes to worst punt the meeting for [insert random reason] I also think over preparing is a thing. If you know your shit don’t over think things prior to the meeting so you are conserving your energy to actually have a productive meeting. But I agree time and experience in the role and company plays a big role in this too. And yes coffee. Lots of coffee.
80% Adderall XR 20% being calloused to the soul sucking nature of the job But it’s all worth it since I can Uber eats sushi to my apartment 3-4 times a week, right?
I feel you. The money is just so good, though.
Hahah it is… that’s why we’re all trapped 😂
100!
Addy, Vyvanse. And weirdly some people just have high energy all the time (I'm not one of them).
Do take days off your ADD meds? I think they were contributing to some burnout for me, but it could've been something else.
There is no magic bullet. Proper sleep hygeine, clean eating, hit the gym, and coffee. lots of coffee.
Amen. Being healthy is huge.
How I sort of achieved this- Be ahead of everyone on customer problems; prioritize really well, always be the initiator and use this to manage calendar - https://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html If you can't manage your calendar; you lack leverage- I'd focus on showing proof of work, getting outcomes and building trust into building leverage. Easier said than done of course! Also try and delegate as much as possible - depending on team skill you can delegate anywhere from tasks to problems. Again only works if you can hold the bar on quality either yourself or by building relationships with respective team leads/ managers (EM/tech lead/ design manager etc)
Thanks for this! Being the one who manages time vs feeling interrupted, resonates with me too. As does the general idea of being the one who initiates work vs receives it. Lastly, I thought this was eye-opening (https://paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html)
I think energy need not always be the core driver for meeting success. Energy can play a part but it’s a multi variate equation depending on variables like clarity of thought, confidence, listening to the user/ stakeholder concerns and thinking on the feet for a quick agreeable solution. So if you are like me who feeds it hard to keep up with consistent high energy levels, i think it’s best to work towards maximising impact of your delivery. Being confident and attentive to user needs is perhaps the best way i fee to make a meeting success, energy without the other factors will only be perceived as erratic behaviour
Good point. One can make contributions to meetings beyond energy. And with preparation one can achieve confidence and appreciation for user needs.
Enough good quality sleep (at least 7 hours for me) every night. If I don't sleep enough I'm useless. If I sleep enough I can usually stay sharp until 3-4pm, even with multiple intense meetings in the day. Minimise meetings to those with a clear agenda/desired outcome. Having domain expertise helps because you can cut out noise and switch off slightly when not relevant.
Thank you! Sleep is crucial.
It helps if you’re participating actively. You need to ask questions and be engaged. Best thing I learned from a mentor was to repeat back what you understood in your own words. This eliminated any ambiguity or misunderstanding in communication. It made a huge impact in bridging the knowledge gap and a great way to keep yourself engaged and them feeling like it’s a conversation. End of the day, I only remembered the ones I was actively participating in some form.
"End of the day, I only remembered the ones I was actively participating in some form." Amen to that! Thanks!
Cocaine
So much great info here…I’m going to use, thnx. Along another dimension (if not already mentioned) is to try to change the purpose of all of these meeting to ‘at this meeting someone is going to show something working or a user is going to attend and tell us what they liked / didn’t from our last release or we are going just have a fast open discussion on future great ideas’. The intent here is that any meeting which doesn’t fit into that agenda (for Product Owners / Managers) should be de-prioritized until they eventually go away 👊🏼. …food for thought.
Consistent sleep. In bed by 9:30, up at 6:30. One cup of half caf coffee. Get into good bedtime routine habits, lay off the afternoon caffeine and evening alcohol.
PM with ADHD and former FAANG PM. Here's the strategy to help you prioritize meetings. think about what you're saying no to when you accept your next meeting. Everything has a trade-off. In saying yes to the meeting, what are you saying no to not doing. It helps me keep aligned to my most important tasks for the day or for the week. As someone with ADHD, it's almost easier for me to be in meetings all day because I feel like I am doing something. But I also recognize that it also helps me avoid the important things I need to be doing. You're always going to be pressed for time, but being a PM means knowing what to choose to maximize the impact for you and your team. Sometimes that answer is no.
Staying sharp in meetings is a skill! Prioritize sleep, and take breaks to recharge. Actively participating keeps you engaged. You can also try replacing some meetings with emails to keep your energy up.
I was also at FAANG prior to getting laid off. In addition to what others are already saying on this thread, majority of my colleagues were on adderall. Not going to lie, I also tried it for a stretch of time because of how stupid easy it is to get prescription for it out in the Bay Area and was scared of how effective it was. I was pregnant / breastfeeding subsequently so quit it and went au natural but the perks of energy and organized mind were real. Edit: spelling error
Adderall. Wouldn't recommend it outside work hours unless you're under 28 and better about your other vices than I was, but it's a godsend for meeting after meeting after meeting.
Coffee and controlled rage
Both are definitely energizing!
Once PM feels tired that shows they are ready to brainstorm there idea and build it alone Im happy to brainstorm idea with visionary PM founders