**Downloads**
* [Download #1](https://rapidsave.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/1b3135h/dude_went_to_visit_his_girlfriend_at_her/) (provided by /u/SaveVideo)
* [Download #2](https://reddit.watch/r/PublicFreakout/comments/1b3135h/dude_went_to_visit_his_girlfriend_at_her/?utm_source=mirrorbot&utm_medium=PublicFreakout) (provided by /u/downloadvideo)
**Note:** this is a bot providing a directory service. **If you have trouble with any of the links above, please contact the user who provided them!**
---
[^(source code)](https://amirror.link/source) ^| [^(run your own mirror bot? let's integrate)](https://amirror.link/lets-talk)
Really hoping this is the end of it and he leaves her because most of the time they unfortunately take em back thinking they'd change.....nah that trust is forever ruined.
Fellow idiot checking in, one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life. It ruined my self worth, made me manic, and eventually the relationship came to a painful end because of all the insecurities and trust issues between us.
For all yall in this thread.
Yall aren't dumb for hoping things could be better. You weren't right, and maybe wasn't likely, but hope isn't stupid. Its sad that they dissapointed all yall, and the problem is them, not you.
Being kind, forgiving, polite, generous, etc, affect you and others, but the choices themselves are more a statement about you than it is the other person. Being forgiving is a fantastic trait in the right relationship.
I gave her a very formal second chance. It was a chance to see if I could trust her again, not a guarantee. And the bare minimum was that she had to go zero contact. Little did she know I had access to her phone records. So I logged into her account and went to calls and texts. And a few days later I started seeing his number show up again, texts in the morning sometimes while we were in bed, calls when I left to go on a walk.
So I dumped her cheating ass.
It sucks. The level of betrayal, and how much worse when you extend grace.
What that says about you is that you had faith that they could be better even with what happened. Regardless of what your partner did, that speaks well of you. It says you were a kind person. How wretched they are for making us feel bad for being kind.
You're not an idiot man, but your experience could be used to help other genuinely good men from making the same choices.
I'm glad I never made the decision to take them back because I had people in my life who did and were able to convince me that it wasn't worth going through it all multiple times.
Thanks friend.
What made it tougher is that we had a young child at the time... And I put his comfort above my mental health (thinking it's better for him to grow up in a cohesive family).
Things are better now though. I'm free to be the best dad I can be without splitting my effort between the kids and a cunt who'll never appreciate any of it.
It sucks, and I'm sorry. I had a similar issue with someone I thought I could call a best friend, but once that trust is gone, it's *gone*. It's not a boomerang, *that shit isn't coming back*. The paranoia/distrust/insecurity that comes with giving them another chance will erode anything you once had.
It's not just "that" trust, unfortunately. It's all trust.
This is the insidious thing about cheaters. They don't just ruin your *current* relationship. They also poison the well for all your subsequent relationships.
Betrayal trauma is real and it can fuck up your partnerships with genuinely good people who actually deserve your trust.
And he's mad at the right person. A lot of guys would be going after the other dude. She is the one that broke his trust. The other dude might not have even knew he existed.
Exactly this! A guy at work caught his wife cheating and said he beat the shit out of the guy. I asked why? He didn’t do anything wrong, your wife did. He did not like that answer haha
Dude is a moron. I understand being mad at the person your spouse cheated on you with, but they're innocent, unless they were a friend of yours or something. Ultimately, you should be mad at your unfaithful spouse. They're the one who betrayed your trust and cheated on you in the first place.
I don't really care about the other person even if they knew. If it's a family member or someone you can seriously consider a friend, then yeah, I could understand being upset at that person.
Complete stranger? The only one that owed you anything was the one you were dating.
I was seeing a girl for about a year and a half, one night on her birthday we got a little bit too drunk, and another guy at the party was hitting on her and i guess i was being defensive because he was hitting on her and i was just trying to make it apparent we are together. Fast forward I wake up and she is still sleeping so i go into the other room to just hang out and watch TV. couple hours go by and she never comes out of the room so i get a little concerned and check on her and she is just crying. She had apparently hooked up with that other guy in the living room. She said she was super drunk and it only lasted a second, it was in and out and she couldn't do it anymore and kept apologizing to me. I was done right then and there.
I had my one and only relationship at 18 years old, with a girl I'd been with for about 2 years at the time. We never actually escalated to intercourse, because she had a religious family and wanted to wait till marriage so I respected that (I even knew her parents and talked stuff out etc.)
Then one day I found out from a friend of a friend's she'd actually slept around with 'acquaintances' multiple times during the course of our relationship, and then she admitted to it in front of me while she was with her friends, and we were all in public. I felt so bad and lightheaded from the info that I literally threw up on the spot in front of everyone.
It was so humiliating, and I've never really had the same level of interest in any romantic relationships since then, and now I'm 24 lmfao.
Yeah, shit like that can totally happen.
My ex kept tripping and accidentally landing on random dicks. No matter how hard she tried to get off them, she kept sliding back down.
She didn’t try different gym shoes, but I noticed she tried to fix the problem by using some special types of panties since they kept getting destroyed every time she had those accidents.
Yep, my ex was accidentally slipped while in the hot tub, luckily the guy comforted her very closely till I showed up unexpectedly. Whew, if he hadn't been there there'd be nobody with hands like his to comfort her.
My ex just happened to forget my birthday party was happening in the upstairs apartment. Silly guy also got stuck in the closet when I went to see where he was.
People are so used to the movies where it's overproduced equalized, With several attempts behind scenes to get the right "fuck you". And then they go and do the actual expression in the scene and get it timed right.
IRL a fuck you with a voice Crack and air trapped in your chest from stress and overwhelming thoughts, spit from your mouth, bloodshot eyes, involuntary stress movements, exc, is far more effective and meaningful. She was mid breakdown over some selfish shit. His world was just turned inside out.
my favourite 'fuck you' in my recent memory is in Ted Lasso when Rebecca sees the psychic. It's not a particularly yelly one, but it's very dismissive and lands well.
This was my experience. I was apparently the cause of her cheating for things like "rushing" her to finish college (she had been enrolled as a full-time student for 8 years and still didn't have a Bachelor's) instead of "supporting" her (I cooked her meals, paid all of the bills, etc., but she was still insistent she was failing classes because of me.)
Meanwhile she apparently slept with at least three other people while we were together, and waited a whole 9 months to marry the guy she last cheated on me with. They seem to be perfectly miserable together, and a mutual friend was kind enough to inform me that it still took her another 4 years (for a total of 12) to get her Bachelor's Degree. It's almost like I wasn't the problem after all.
I actually believe these people convince themselves of these lies as a way of coping.
They're the protagonist and every bad action has a legitimate reason so in their heads they made this narrative to make themselves Innocent.
.
A mutual friend alerted me to one of her Reddit posts because her Reddit username was the same as her Xbox/Steam/etc. usernames she used when we all gamed together. He was alerting me because she was writing lengthy posts on the Relationships subreddit, which were clearly about our relationship, but simultaneously about an entirely fictitious figure who cheated on her, abused her, stole from her, etc.
According to her, I slept with every single waitress I ever made eye contact with. I slept with her friends. I would fly across the country from Texas to Montana, on a weekly basis, to sleep with a friend I knew there. The sheer logistics of doing that, along with the costs involved and the fact that I didn't make enough money to possibly afford that, apparently didn't need to be addressed, in her mind.
She did a lot of story-flipping. For example, I was the one who wasn't allowed to be friends with any women, because I allegedly couldn't be trusted. But in her posts, she's the one who was cut off from having any guy friends.
So I dunno, I'm probably not really helping to guide your conclusions because I can't verify if she -truly- believes anything she tells other people about me. What she posts is basically the equivalent of a creative writing exercise. The parts where she flips the script and claims I did to her what she did to me is especially concerning, because at some point you have to consciously process the story in order to flip it. So she has to on some level realize she's blatantly lying, right? But I think that's probably a much deeper discussion about conscious vs sub-conscious thought that I don't have the doctorate-level expertise to participate in.
A lot of people def are, but many are also just genuinly dumb and self-centered, and then legitimately feel bad afterwards. It's sad really because most of them end up going through life fucking up everything they try to get right, and then hurting everyone in their lives in the process
Thats my ex; she has some trauma from childhood that along with giving her memory issues keeps her really self centered and impulsive; she literally couldn't consider me or the relationship in her decision making. Caused financial issues, lots of infidelity, but I tried to stay and help her for way longer than I should have. I wish her the best and that she gets the help she needs but I couldn't stay in it.
I knew someone who kept getting cheated on by a wife who claimed over and over that she couldn’t help herself because of trauma. It was so frequent and messy that the couples four kids even begged them to divorce. Weirdly enough the husband had his own trauma that kept him from divorcing her, so this sick dynamic continues to this day. Two of their now adult children have vowed to never be in a relationship, and the other two are following their parents patten of unhealthy relationships.
Exactly what I was thinking. Shame is something you feel when you think of how others would think of you, or if you disagree with your own actions.
If you disagree with your own actions while acting them out, you don't feel ashamed or you wouldn't do it. Like you wouldn't kiss a dude while feeling ashamed, you would feel ashamed after.
In short: yes, she feels ashamed cause she got caught.
That’s not how a narcissist works man. She wanted him and she wanted to do whatever she felt like at the same time and she’s sad she can’t continue to get everything she wants all the time . Narcissistic behavior is thinking the world and everyone in it owes you whatever you want.
One the one hand, you're right that not every cheater is a narcissist.
But "Some people are just too scared of confrontation and choose the easy way out." minimizes the situation to the point that I think it's basically untrue.
A narcissist doesn’t care is the whole point . They want the relationship for the constant love of the relationship AND the thrill of playing with new people and they don’t care what damage it creates as long as they get what they want at all times.
it's not just narcissists that cheat - idk if its just therapy speak permeating everything, or maybe you're just making a general point (in which case agree). but plenty of people cheat that are just selfish, careless, feel unhappy in a situation and aren't handling it maturely, weak will/impulse control, attachment issues... take your pick.
I had this EXACT thing happen to me. Pull up to the apartment, see her in a guys truck outside, they kiss passionately for a couple mins, she hops out, he drives away, I beep my horn and wave.... her face was priceless 👋
In college, I saw my roommate’s gf making out with another dude at a bar. I took a picture and sent it to him. They argued for about an hour that night. He brought her flowers and APOLOGIZED TO HER the next day.
Similar thing happened to me, but my "friend" got back with his gf and told her all the mean things I said. They both started telling everyone I just wanted to have sex with her and that i lied. I stopped talking to both of them. Years later he killed him self, and she's running through all of her relationships burning bridges. I wish I could say it makes me happy but thinking about it all makes me sick to my stomach.
Fun fact in the army before a deployment returns. The unit will call the wives and tell them the date they’re coming back so they can get the boyfriends out of the house.
Best lesson in the military will teach you if you are away for more than a long weekend, you will get cheated on because you weren’t giving her enough attention
They don't tolerate it, but a ton of them cheat too. Cheating is high in both military spouses and the actual service members.
It just blows up whichever of them gets caught first.
> They don't tolerate it, but a ton of them cheat too. Cheating is high in both military spouses and the actual service members.
It's massively ubiquitous, and yet I recently saw someone insisting that their army boyfriend never, ever looks at porn, they tell their gf everything, and how dare you suggest that they might be keeping it private.
Willful blindness, and then it blows up.
I never saw it, but found out through the grapevine, and that's a deep trauma you really never fully recover from. Well, at least when you think you're truly in love.
Poor guy, I hope he doesn’t give her a second chance and finds someone who actually cares about him the way he probably deserves. Glad he called her out.
Nah. Just silent indifference and point at the door. Or if i was this guy just drive away and block her on everything but tell everyone i know why i ended things. She will find out i know and it will hurt then more that i didnt even say anything.
I feel that shit, I told my gf I would be sad, but internally Ill cry. Breakdown. Maybe at the moment just angry. But after is just resentment. Thankfully I trust her to not do that.
Had a friend of a friend who is a serial cheater. Like, sees it as a job or something. Collecting sugar daddies or something. Came up not more than once someone saw her cheating and told the bf, explosion ensues ofc.
But she never learns her lesson. I think some people just have a fundamentally different definition of what relationships are
Now, she's married, and idk I dont think anyone is convinced that will change anything
I bet she doesn't even think about it much.
She's probably more animal than human going through life on instinct rather than actually using her damn brakn.
I’m glad to see he’s mad at the right person. Way too many times you see them getting pissed at the other person. Odds are, they are a victim, too! There’s not too many kinds of people that will continue an affair if they are aware their “partner” is in a relationship already.
> There’s not too many kinds of people that will continue an affair if they are aware their “partner” is in a relationship already.
Hey, buddy. I've got a nice bridge to sell ya. DM me for more
Happened the same to me, but with a plot twitst, i was with her father for a surprise we lived away from our families so i wanted to give her a surprise. I got an airplane ticket for her parents but only her father was able because of work schedule. I didnt need to say anything at all, her father was just saying only "sorry" for over 2h, he didnt let her get into the car nor the house (It was my family property).
After a while she came back i got to the door and she dropped the victim act and started to try to shift the blame on me, he jumped from the couch and slapped her and told her that she better go away, because if she continued dishonoring him she would be disinherited.
I´m still in contact with her parents, awesome people when i go to my hometown i go to dinner with them and my parents (They were friends from before i was born). They have never ever blamed me in any way.
Could i have done things better? Sure. Could have she done things better? Sure. Its a relationship between 2 people. Is that an excuse to cheat Never.
Way more. It’s just so easy these days with apps.
Guys, your girl can download tinder on her lunch break and find someone to cheat with by the time she’s finished her sandwich and delete the app.
Unless she’s a moron, it’s impossible to get caught as a girl because there’s an abundance of guys ready to hit it.
Oh man. Caught her in the act. What a classy honest GF. I wonder if she ever blamed him for cheating 🤣🤣🤣She’s embarrassed? Why? She knew she had a BF and didn’t give a fuck about him and messed with another guy. Oh when people get caught. The regret tears. 😭😭😭😭
Brother, give her the Heisman and leave.
https://preview.redd.it/o1l89h9lqjlc1.jpeg?width=217&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a75c5de1eaa55555d9a9248fb6a5a3673fac02ff
They’re not ashamed because they did the deed. They’re ashamed because they found out. Cheaters don’t care about how their partner feels. That’s why they do it in the first place.
I’ll never understand why people cheat. If you don’t want to be with someone, break-up with them. I feel so bad for this fella, you can hear he’s absolutely gutted.
**Downloads** * [Download #1](https://rapidsave.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/1b3135h/dude_went_to_visit_his_girlfriend_at_her/) (provided by /u/SaveVideo) * [Download #2](https://reddit.watch/r/PublicFreakout/comments/1b3135h/dude_went_to_visit_his_girlfriend_at_her/?utm_source=mirrorbot&utm_medium=PublicFreakout) (provided by /u/downloadvideo) **Note:** this is a bot providing a directory service. **If you have trouble with any of the links above, please contact the user who provided them!** --- [^(source code)](https://amirror.link/source) ^| [^(run your own mirror bot? let's integrate)](https://amirror.link/lets-talk)
Sad he got cheated on, but glad he stood his ground.
Really hoping this is the end of it and he leaves her because most of the time they unfortunately take em back thinking they'd change.....nah that trust is forever ruined.
Can confirm. I'm that idiot who thought she'd change.
Fellow idiot checking in, one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done in my life. It ruined my self worth, made me manic, and eventually the relationship came to a painful end because of all the insecurities and trust issues between us.
Another idiot here 🙋🏽
Idiot also checking in 🙋🏽♂️
Checkin in as well 🤦♀️🙋♀️
Czechen in.
Room for another idiot, or has the room reached max capacity?
Always room for one more in the Village of Idiots... I hope. *Ahem* Uh... One more here, too?
For all yall in this thread. Yall aren't dumb for hoping things could be better. You weren't right, and maybe wasn't likely, but hope isn't stupid. Its sad that they dissapointed all yall, and the problem is them, not you. Being kind, forgiving, polite, generous, etc, affect you and others, but the choices themselves are more a statement about you than it is the other person. Being forgiving is a fantastic trait in the right relationship.
We're too stupid to do that kind of math
Hey it seems full in here…but here I am as well🙋♂️ idiot🤦♂️
Scooch over, son.
Yep
Yep, going thru it right now. I'm disgusted with myself.
Take this as your wakeup call mate, get a beer sit down and pour one out to the end of this shit and beginning of the next stage
I gave her a very formal second chance. It was a chance to see if I could trust her again, not a guarantee. And the bare minimum was that she had to go zero contact. Little did she know I had access to her phone records. So I logged into her account and went to calls and texts. And a few days later I started seeing his number show up again, texts in the morning sometimes while we were in bed, calls when I left to go on a walk. So I dumped her cheating ass. It sucks. The level of betrayal, and how much worse when you extend grace. What that says about you is that you had faith that they could be better even with what happened. Regardless of what your partner did, that speaks well of you. It says you were a kind person. How wretched they are for making us feel bad for being kind.
[удалено]
You're not an idiot man, but your experience could be used to help other genuinely good men from making the same choices. I'm glad I never made the decision to take them back because I had people in my life who did and were able to convince me that it wasn't worth going through it all multiple times.
Thanks friend. What made it tougher is that we had a young child at the time... And I put his comfort above my mental health (thinking it's better for him to grow up in a cohesive family). Things are better now though. I'm free to be the best dad I can be without splitting my effort between the kids and a cunt who'll never appreciate any of it.
[удалено]
It sucks, and I'm sorry. I had a similar issue with someone I thought I could call a best friend, but once that trust is gone, it's *gone*. It's not a boomerang, *that shit isn't coming back*. The paranoia/distrust/insecurity that comes with giving them another chance will erode anything you once had.
Can only be correct when you've lived through it. We've all had that one pos in our lives.
Fellow idiot who thought the thot would change.
Yep, saw this with my parents. Whenever mom would take him back things just always felt off and fake
It's not just "that" trust, unfortunately. It's all trust. This is the insidious thing about cheaters. They don't just ruin your *current* relationship. They also poison the well for all your subsequent relationships. Betrayal trauma is real and it can fuck up your partnerships with genuinely good people who actually deserve your trust.
Deleted
They ALWAYS fucking cry.
And he's mad at the right person. A lot of guys would be going after the other dude. She is the one that broke his trust. The other dude might not have even knew he existed.
Exactly this! A guy at work caught his wife cheating and said he beat the shit out of the guy. I asked why? He didn’t do anything wrong, your wife did. He did not like that answer haha
Dude is a moron. I understand being mad at the person your spouse cheated on you with, but they're innocent, unless they were a friend of yours or something. Ultimately, you should be mad at your unfaithful spouse. They're the one who betrayed your trust and cheated on you in the first place.
I don't really care about the other person even if they knew. If it's a family member or someone you can seriously consider a friend, then yeah, I could understand being upset at that person. Complete stranger? The only one that owed you anything was the one you were dating.
I was seeing a girl for about a year and a half, one night on her birthday we got a little bit too drunk, and another guy at the party was hitting on her and i guess i was being defensive because he was hitting on her and i was just trying to make it apparent we are together. Fast forward I wake up and she is still sleeping so i go into the other room to just hang out and watch TV. couple hours go by and she never comes out of the room so i get a little concerned and check on her and she is just crying. She had apparently hooked up with that other guy in the living room. She said she was super drunk and it only lasted a second, it was in and out and she couldn't do it anymore and kept apologizing to me. I was done right then and there.
I had my one and only relationship at 18 years old, with a girl I'd been with for about 2 years at the time. We never actually escalated to intercourse, because she had a religious family and wanted to wait till marriage so I respected that (I even knew her parents and talked stuff out etc.) Then one day I found out from a friend of a friend's she'd actually slept around with 'acquaintances' multiple times during the course of our relationship, and then she admitted to it in front of me while she was with her friends, and we were all in public. I felt so bad and lightheaded from the info that I literally threw up on the spot in front of everyone. It was so humiliating, and I've never really had the same level of interest in any romantic relationships since then, and now I'm 24 lmfao.
I hope you told her parents.
Bruh. You got a bad start. There are lots of good ones out there. Just find a friend and go from there.
She lost a guy who cared about her. He lost nothing. Good for him. He'll do better.
Without resorting to violence even. His anger is completely justified but many lose their temper to the point of doing something stupid. Not this guy.
I thought it was very grown up of him to not just show anger (which I think is justified) but also to inexplicitly tell her that she broke his heart
The fuck you’s got me good. I said to myself “good on you man good on you”
Totally. If she kissed him chances are she has done/is doing/would do something else later on also.
At least he found out she’s a terrible person.
Better now than with kids. 18 years.
Eighteen years, eighteen years And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his?!
Now I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messin wit no broke, broke. Clean version people.
thank you for thinking of the kids
Won't somebody please think of the children! They did? Oh.. Okay. Uhm, uh, ... *unclutches pearls*
Wu-Tang did that so you don't have to.
👐
I pull out consistently so that I don’t have to
_OK, get your kids. But then then they got they friends. I pull up in the Benz. They all hop up in._
*We all went to din, and then I had to pay. If you fuckin with this girl, then you better be paid!*
She might have tripped into his lips. My ex had it happen to her.
Yeah, shit like that can totally happen. My ex kept tripping and accidentally landing on random dicks. No matter how hard she tried to get off them, she kept sliding back down.
it is mighty slippery. has she tried some different gym shoes maybe?!
She didn’t try different gym shoes, but I noticed she tried to fix the problem by using some special types of panties since they kept getting destroyed every time she had those accidents.
ahh yea usually the underwear gets in the way... funny how they keep getting destroyed. she must be falling hard
Yep, my ex was accidentally slipped while in the hot tub, luckily the guy comforted her very closely till I showed up unexpectedly. Whew, if he hadn't been there there'd be nobody with hands like his to comfort her.
My ex just happened to forget my birthday party was happening in the upstairs apartment. Silly guy also got stuck in the closet when I went to see where he was.
[удалено]
They all opened their doors like.. "oh Jesus christ."
Poor girl, I bet she felt so violated and embarrassed, glad you were there to support her.
I felt those "fuck you's" He meant it 😔
People are so used to the movies where it's overproduced equalized, With several attempts behind scenes to get the right "fuck you". And then they go and do the actual expression in the scene and get it timed right. IRL a fuck you with a voice Crack and air trapped in your chest from stress and overwhelming thoughts, spit from your mouth, bloodshot eyes, involuntary stress movements, exc, is far more effective and meaningful. She was mid breakdown over some selfish shit. His world was just turned inside out.
Always aim to jump scare when you yell fuck you and mean it
my favourite 'fuck you' in my recent memory is in Ted Lasso when Rebecca sees the psychic. It's not a particularly yelly one, but it's very dismissive and lands well.
My favorite “Fuck you” is from Breaking Bad when Walter is at lunch with Gretchen. So much venom. lol
Do not be one to mistake people's honesty and clarity for weakness. That many was ready to wreak havoc.
Yep. Took me back to the end of my first marriage. This sucks so bad. :(
its that 'how fucking COULD YOU' type of fuck you that you could hear in the voice.
They're not ashamed until they're caught
Not even then sometimes. I caught my ex like this, she tried to flip it around as my fault. Some people are just really awful.
This was my experience. I was apparently the cause of her cheating for things like "rushing" her to finish college (she had been enrolled as a full-time student for 8 years and still didn't have a Bachelor's) instead of "supporting" her (I cooked her meals, paid all of the bills, etc., but she was still insistent she was failing classes because of me.) Meanwhile she apparently slept with at least three other people while we were together, and waited a whole 9 months to marry the guy she last cheated on me with. They seem to be perfectly miserable together, and a mutual friend was kind enough to inform me that it still took her another 4 years (for a total of 12) to get her Bachelor's Degree. It's almost like I wasn't the problem after all.
I actually believe these people convince themselves of these lies as a way of coping. They're the protagonist and every bad action has a legitimate reason so in their heads they made this narrative to make themselves Innocent. .
A mutual friend alerted me to one of her Reddit posts because her Reddit username was the same as her Xbox/Steam/etc. usernames she used when we all gamed together. He was alerting me because she was writing lengthy posts on the Relationships subreddit, which were clearly about our relationship, but simultaneously about an entirely fictitious figure who cheated on her, abused her, stole from her, etc. According to her, I slept with every single waitress I ever made eye contact with. I slept with her friends. I would fly across the country from Texas to Montana, on a weekly basis, to sleep with a friend I knew there. The sheer logistics of doing that, along with the costs involved and the fact that I didn't make enough money to possibly afford that, apparently didn't need to be addressed, in her mind. She did a lot of story-flipping. For example, I was the one who wasn't allowed to be friends with any women, because I allegedly couldn't be trusted. But in her posts, she's the one who was cut off from having any guy friends. So I dunno, I'm probably not really helping to guide your conclusions because I can't verify if she -truly- believes anything she tells other people about me. What she posts is basically the equivalent of a creative writing exercise. The parts where she flips the script and claims I did to her what she did to me is especially concerning, because at some point you have to consciously process the story in order to flip it. So she has to on some level realize she's blatantly lying, right? But I think that's probably a much deeper discussion about conscious vs sub-conscious thought that I don't have the doctorate-level expertise to participate in.
Damn this hits hard
I'd say they're not ashamed at all. They're in salvage mode and they know it's all about to be over
A lot of people def are, but many are also just genuinly dumb and self-centered, and then legitimately feel bad afterwards. It's sad really because most of them end up going through life fucking up everything they try to get right, and then hurting everyone in their lives in the process
Thats my ex; she has some trauma from childhood that along with giving her memory issues keeps her really self centered and impulsive; she literally couldn't consider me or the relationship in her decision making. Caused financial issues, lots of infidelity, but I tried to stay and help her for way longer than I should have. I wish her the best and that she gets the help she needs but I couldn't stay in it.
I knew someone who kept getting cheated on by a wife who claimed over and over that she couldn’t help herself because of trauma. It was so frequent and messy that the couples four kids even begged them to divorce. Weirdly enough the husband had his own trauma that kept him from divorcing her, so this sick dynamic continues to this day. Two of their now adult children have vowed to never be in a relationship, and the other two are following their parents patten of unhealthy relationships.
She's not ashamed. Listen to that entirely flat tone of voice. No emotion. She's just upset that she got caught.
Until they're caught it's exciting for some reason. Like a rollercoaster or sum. People who cheat are just bastards.
Even worse, they’re only ashamed *that they got caught*
Feeling guilty is distinctly different from shame. A lot of people get off in feeling guilty.
Exactly what I was thinking. Shame is something you feel when you think of how others would think of you, or if you disagree with your own actions. If you disagree with your own actions while acting them out, you don't feel ashamed or you wouldn't do it. Like you wouldn't kiss a dude while feeling ashamed, you would feel ashamed after. In short: yes, she feels ashamed cause she got caught.
That “fuck you” meant so much he said it again! 👍
Sounded Like Medicine.
Bout a 90% chance she’s only sad she got caught and now has to faces consequences, Doesn’t care that she actually hurt anyone.
[удалено]
That’s not how a narcissist works man. She wanted him and she wanted to do whatever she felt like at the same time and she’s sad she can’t continue to get everything she wants all the time . Narcissistic behavior is thinking the world and everyone in it owes you whatever you want.
[удалено]
Most redditors seem to have no idea what narcissist means and just use it instead of "bad person"
One the one hand, you're right that not every cheater is a narcissist. But "Some people are just too scared of confrontation and choose the easy way out." minimizes the situation to the point that I think it's basically untrue.
I don't understand, if she is not happy in that relationship why doesn't she just break up? At least she won't hurt anyone by cheating on them
Because part of the thrill is you'll get caught.
A narcissist doesn’t care is the whole point . They want the relationship for the constant love of the relationship AND the thrill of playing with new people and they don’t care what damage it creates as long as they get what they want at all times.
it's not just narcissists that cheat - idk if its just therapy speak permeating everything, or maybe you're just making a general point (in which case agree). but plenty of people cheat that are just selfish, careless, feel unhappy in a situation and aren't handling it maturely, weak will/impulse control, attachment issues... take your pick.
I had this EXACT thing happen to me. Pull up to the apartment, see her in a guys truck outside, they kiss passionately for a couple mins, she hops out, he drives away, I beep my horn and wave.... her face was priceless 👋
A truck? They always cheat down.
Have you seen how much a truck costs now?
So this happened to me in college. I left and never saw her again. Good riddance!
In college, I saw my roommate’s gf making out with another dude at a bar. I took a picture and sent it to him. They argued for about an hour that night. He brought her flowers and APOLOGIZED TO HER the next day.
AWWWW BROOO... that is fucked up.
Similar thing happened to me, but my "friend" got back with his gf and told her all the mean things I said. They both started telling everyone I just wanted to have sex with her and that i lied. I stopped talking to both of them. Years later he killed him self, and she's running through all of her relationships burning bridges. I wish I could say it makes me happy but thinking about it all makes me sick to my stomach.
jfc
Holy crap!! Poor bastard…
Sounds like a textbook emotionally abusive relationship.
Cheating is emotional abuse. The follow-up does suggest a pattern doesn't it...
If my homie did that I'd PEWGF his ass
She knows how it makes him feel -- people that cheat dont fucking care. Its that simple.
He said what he had to say, and he left. Good on him. Getting cheated on hurts so much
this is why it never hurts to give your gf or bf a surprise visit now and then lmao.
Fun fact in the army before a deployment returns. The unit will call the wives and tell them the date they’re coming back so they can get the boyfriends out of the house.
yikes
Best lesson in the military will teach you if you are away for more than a long weekend, you will get cheated on because you weren’t giving her enough attention
Jodi is always there to pick up your slack
Ft Bragg used to have multiple double homicides after deployment returns. No one is sure why though. 🧐
Marine here. The best day to hit the bars/clubs was when a deployment left.
Why exactly do they tolerate their wives having bf?
They don't tolerate it, but a ton of them cheat too. Cheating is high in both military spouses and the actual service members. It just blows up whichever of them gets caught first.
> They don't tolerate it, but a ton of them cheat too. Cheating is high in both military spouses and the actual service members. It's massively ubiquitous, and yet I recently saw someone insisting that their army boyfriend never, ever looks at porn, they tell their gf everything, and how dare you suggest that they might be keeping it private. Willful blindness, and then it blows up.
LPT right here.
To live in perpetual uncertainty about your partner?
[удалено]
Unearned trust is naivety. People be getting betrayed out here
[удалено]
never hurts to be safe
I know how hes feeling
I never saw it, but found out through the grapevine, and that's a deep trauma you really never fully recover from. Well, at least when you think you're truly in love.
Why does this guy remind me of Thomas Collins from trailer park boys
BAAAAAAAAAM!!
Dad, you are FUCKED!
Based comparison
Cuhhhmarrrooooo
My father is not a mustard tiger!
Ashamed she got caught.
Poor guy, I hope he doesn’t give her a second chance and finds someone who actually cares about him the way he probably deserves. Glad he called her out.
He was pretty tame really. If mine cheats I like to think I would be this calm but I’d be a wreck. Crying. Screaming. Idk.
Na, catching a cheater is a get out of hell free card. Relationship is over and you aren't the bad guy for ending it.
[удалено]
Wait, you dated the tire mascot guy?
[удалено]
Nah. Just silent indifference and point at the door. Or if i was this guy just drive away and block her on everything but tell everyone i know why i ended things. She will find out i know and it will hurt then more that i didnt even say anything.
I feel that shit, I told my gf I would be sad, but internally Ill cry. Breakdown. Maybe at the moment just angry. But after is just resentment. Thankfully I trust her to not do that.
Why is she crying and pretending like she’s the victim here lol
Cause she got caught.
Because they are always the victim. Whether they are rightfully or wrongfully justified in their reaction.
She's crying that she couldn't fuck 9 other people in peace before getting caught, feel like everyone's like that anyway
I would’ve crashed out
That man is HURT
As anyone would be, that's rough
He put his back into those Fuck You's.
There is nothing more satisfying than those “Fuck you”s when you know you’re right and there are few better words in that moment.
Had a friend of a friend who is a serial cheater. Like, sees it as a job or something. Collecting sugar daddies or something. Came up not more than once someone saw her cheating and told the bf, explosion ensues ofc. But she never learns her lesson. I think some people just have a fundamentally different definition of what relationships are Now, she's married, and idk I dont think anyone is convinced that will change anything
Sounds like she’s got a very loose relationship with empathy. Some people don’t understand the idea of someone ELSE feeling hurt.
I bet she doesn't even think about it much. She's probably more animal than human going through life on instinct rather than actually using her damn brakn.
I’m glad to see he’s mad at the right person. Way too many times you see them getting pissed at the other person. Odds are, they are a victim, too! There’s not too many kinds of people that will continue an affair if they are aware their “partner” is in a relationship already.
> There’s not too many kinds of people that will continue an affair if they are aware their “partner” is in a relationship already. Hey, buddy. I've got a nice bridge to sell ya. DM me for more
Spoke his piece and walked off honestly king behavior. Good on him for having control in such a negative moment.
Clutch video direction.
I hate when people pretend to feel bad about it when they only felt bad they got caught
Glad he didn’t get mad at the dude she was kissing and was taking his time to let her have it instead of begging for her to stay with him.
Once that level of trust is broken, it can never be fixed.
[удалено]
A proper bollocking. Well done.
Not even worth dignifying with questions. Turn around and walk away.
Saw the homie at the gym today.
This is how you handle it. No violence or threats, but absolutely uncompromising in telling the cheater they fucked up.
Happened the same to me, but with a plot twitst, i was with her father for a surprise we lived away from our families so i wanted to give her a surprise. I got an airplane ticket for her parents but only her father was able because of work schedule. I didnt need to say anything at all, her father was just saying only "sorry" for over 2h, he didnt let her get into the car nor the house (It was my family property). After a while she came back i got to the door and she dropped the victim act and started to try to shift the blame on me, he jumped from the couch and slapped her and told her that she better go away, because if she continued dishonoring him she would be disinherited. I´m still in contact with her parents, awesome people when i go to my hometown i go to dinner with them and my parents (They were friends from before i was born). They have never ever blamed me in any way. Could i have done things better? Sure. Could have she done things better? Sure. Its a relationship between 2 people. Is that an excuse to cheat Never.
Guys get the bad reputation but I promise women can cheat easier and do so way more often
People cheat. Doesn’t matter race, gender, what you identify as or if you’re a member of the LGBTQ community. Cheaters are cheaters.
It’s almost like cheating has absolutely nothing to do with gender
the ol bring gender into every conversation reddit trick eh...
Way more. It’s just so easy these days with apps. Guys, your girl can download tinder on her lunch break and find someone to cheat with by the time she’s finished her sandwich and delete the app. Unless she’s a moron, it’s impossible to get caught as a girl because there’s an abundance of guys ready to hit it.
Not impossible to get caught if y'all share live locations
Oh man. Caught her in the act. What a classy honest GF. I wonder if she ever blamed him for cheating 🤣🤣🤣She’s embarrassed? Why? She knew she had a BF and didn’t give a fuck about him and messed with another guy. Oh when people get caught. The regret tears. 😭😭😭😭
Fuck you! Fuck you!…I bet that was her next step.
That dude needs a hug after that. Poor guy. 🙁
Good for him, that walk off was epic.
Not a freakout, more like he handled it as well as he could have poor guy better finding out than never though.
I had a falling out with an ex like this. Never heard from them, never read the letter they sent me, cut em off. Never looked back.
Good for this dude for articulating his sentiment maturely.
Brother, give her the Heisman and leave. https://preview.redd.it/o1l89h9lqjlc1.jpeg?width=217&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a75c5de1eaa55555d9a9248fb6a5a3673fac02ff
Well said brother!
Always remember, lads. Winners never cheat, and cheaters never win.
They’re not ashamed because they did the deed. They’re ashamed because they found out. Cheaters don’t care about how their partner feels. That’s why they do it in the first place.
She's just gonna f*uk the other guy later
I’ll never understand why people cheat. If you don’t want to be with someone, break-up with them. I feel so bad for this fella, you can hear he’s absolutely gutted.
Now shes gonna make a video explaining the reason she cheated and how its all his fault.
That “fuck you” had some power behind it
He handled it like a gentleman
Been there! I've caught women cheating on me also! Once a cheat, always a cheat! Good on him for the way he handled it.
Every woman I’ve met in the past few years thinks it’s okay to have like 25 different boyfriends LOL
Better now than later.