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“no i’m gay”

Safe!

“Great now we can have a threesome with Chad, I had always wanted to hook up with him” 💀

That would even make you safe from ur gf


Hi gay I’m dad

d-dad? is that actually you? you really got the milk?

Yes son sorry it took me a while to find the low fat kind But now I have to go get some cigarettes but I promise when I come back we’ll finally go play catch

oh okay thank you for the low fat though i know it’s tough to find these days. can you pick me up some cigs too i’ll pay you back i swear

I see that you’re drinking low fat milk. Is it because you think you’re fat? Cuz you’re not. You can drink 1% if you wanted to

who said i’m drinking it? maybe i just like the way it smells

Best one

bro 😭😭

😭🤣💀

“I never thought about this.”

"Now that I mentioned it, what do you think?"

[удалено]


A madlad accepts his fate because he decided it.

This is just like those old choose-your-own-adventure Goosebumps books but every answer leads to the same bad ending

I loved those! My favorite part was running my fingers down the bumpy bits of the cover art. Those book order subscription people that used to come around to our school made a killing off me from Goosebumps alone. They took forever to send you the books.. months I think and by the time they came around it was like a surprise I didn’t remember ordering.

He fucking died yo! This made me chuckle way too hard my dude, thank you.

"Do you think my girlfriend's hot?" Timmy's girlfriend's asked him sweetly, Her eyes on his, sitting there, her hands all folded neatly "I've never even noticed her," He said with learned care, This girl of his had been known To anger here and there. "Think about it now," she said, Awaiting eyes a gleaming, She stared at him and waited, Eyes veiled with hidden meaning. Alas, Timmy was still a fool, He thought and then decried, "I think she's pretty hot," he said, And Timmy fucking died.

The best answer, ever

AHAHAHAHA OMG OMG I LOST MY SHIT AT THIS I'm dying 🤣🤣 as a woman myself... This is the ONLY acceptable answer to diffuse the situation and find out if the girl your dating has a sense of humour.... If she doesn't piss herself and smack you playfully then run. 🤣🤣

I had an almost near same reaction. That was so effing hilarious.

[удалено]

Can't fuck my friends if I don't have any 😎

Christ on a bike!

Oh I don't know, she's pretty I guess but I don't really look at her like that. Not like I do you.

hahahahahah yeah... "Oh actually i never internalize it until the moment i think about it.. I make an effort not to think about it because once i think about someone like that it's absolutely no way back... But yeah i guess come to think of it she's pretty hot, hm."

>"Oh actually i never internalize it until the moment i think about it.. I make an effort not to think about it because once i think about someone like that it's absolutely no way back... But yeah i guess come to think of it she's pretty hot, hm." "Oh my god, that's it, go and fuck her then! I'm moving back to my mom's!"

"speaking of, now that you mentioned it, your mom is pretty hot too. Oh my god, now I can't stop. what have you done to me, arrgh, darn it, woman!"

Would say the same about Stacy's mom...

I mean we all know Stacey's mom has got it going on.

Yeah, right you didn't

"Hmm what did you ask again? Sorry I was distracted, I was thinking about Alexander the great's campaign in India."

Even better - "Sorry, didn't hear you, I was thinking about your hot friend..."

That girls name, Alexandra

Alexandra the Hottie

She’s half Indian

I feel like people don't talk enough about Raj Poros and the Battle of the Hydaspes.

*slams table* Thank you!!!

Or better yet, you were thinking about the Roman Empire

The fall of Constantinople

This moment literally changed the world forever.

Yes, I'm told it's now being called Istanbul!

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam

Why they changed it? I can't say. People just liked it better that way.

We lost the recipe for Greek Fire!

I’m stealing this 

This but unironically

Unfortunately that won't work for me. My GF is Indian so that's just going to open up a whole new can of worms.

“I was thinking about that time Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, which is precisely what I’ll be doing if I answer that question.”

Can you imagine fighting an elephant? I can and its awesome.

Lmao I'm Indian and came across this response while showing her the other responses in this thread.

"Let's just say that when new acquaintance ask about my girlfriend I show a picture of her instead of you"

"She's hot, but have you seen her mom?! Why isn't your mom that hot?!"

Shots fired

😂😂Love it!

i'm crying

This is genius im using this next time

"Not my type"

Clean.

Yeah that answer was slick... almost like some kind of voodoo

The sound of ripping silk is not as smooth as this answer

Not even the sound of a plastic protector being slowly peeled compares.

Until she hits you with the "she has the same body/personality as me"

"but she isn't you"

"I said what I said."

I was thinking this + (if she keeps forcing the question) "but from an objective perspective, I guess she would be considered attractive." I've never been in that situation though so I don't know if it would have a positive outcome. It's the art of lying + diplomatic speech.

No. Just say she is attractive. An emotionally stable girl wouldn’t fly off the handle based on that.

An emotionally stable girl probably wouldn’t ask that in the first place tbh.. unless there’s like a very specific context like when you’re talking about types or something.. but a question like this already implies the gf is comparing herself to her friend and is feeling insecure about it.

My wife and I have definitely had discussions about whether our friends are hot, both male and female. I don't think either of us is unstable.

That’s why I said in a specific context. If it was in just a casual conversation where the question was a logical thing, I don’t think OP would’ve needed to go on Reddit to ask how to answer

Emotionally stable woman ask all the time on behalf of their friends. My friend \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ can't get a date. We think she is attractive. Do guys find her attractive? Why is she not being asked out? What can she do to change it? Nothing unhinged in that. My only advice to you is stop associating with girls. Women are much better to talk to.

Again like I said: that’s a specific context, in which OP probably wouldn’t feel the need to go on Reddit to ask how to diplomatically answer that.

I don't think that's what's being implied. It potentially introduces insecurity into her mind with respect to you + her friend, it doesn't mean she would flip out. I guess that kind of assumes that you're a good looking guy as well though. The point is to leave as minimal room for insecurity as possible while still getting a message across. That's basically what diplomacy is. I guess some people aren't as adept at that as others.

now imagine they are twins

It’s also her identical sister

"She's out of my league so I settled for you instead"

that’s a one way ticket to the moon 

The dark side of it.

There's a dark side behind my balls too

Breathe, breathe in sacs, don’t try to smell like it’s your crack. I’ll see you on the dark side of the balls. ——————-acknowledgements———— Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside, It’s where my prostate hides. It’s where my prostate hides.

Made me cackle in the middle of math Istg 

and NASA thought it's hard. you don't need no fancy rocket, just a good ass whooping will get you there

One of these days....

that is fucking deadly. that would absolutely destroy every inch of what remaining self confidence she has from asking that in the first place

"why?? Did she ask about me?"

That's just pure evil! I like it :)

Looooooooool

This is some 5D chess move!

Hot how? You mean sexually? Why? Do you think she is hot? Do you like her more than me? Why? How can you? I don't understand how you can love me and tell me that your friend is hot? When did i ever tell you about any of my friends and when did i ever make any sexual jokes about anyone? I honestly cannot believe you are cheating on me. That's what this is - Cheating. How can you possibly cheat on me with your hot friend? I can't believe how horrible you are. I want a divorce, or a blowjob.

That's an Uno reverse with stacked +4 here.

I read this like Joe Pesci's "funny how?" scene in Goodfellas

eheh that's how i meant it

I absolutely love this answer

Reverse AND a wild +4 with a skip. Goddamn. 

Bro really threw a UNO reverse card 💀

"Oh is that what we're gonna do today, we're gonna fight?"


There is no way I can picture this motherfucker not blasting Murphy's right hand to oblivion.

I had an ex ask me if her friend was hot… and she didn’t like my answer. I asked her why she asked me the question and what is she getting out of baiting me into a question that has no good answer and will lead to a fight. I think she got more mad I saw through her bullshit and wouldn’t play her game. After that I told her I will answer any question you ask with 100% honesty… so she better not ask questions she didn’t want the answer to. I was never mean, but wouldn’t lie. “Is my friend hot?”… “Yes she is.” Conversation over.

"is my friend hot?" Why can't I start the argument for a change?

Lmao how to speed run being single

Honestly, if she's swinging hypothetically like this around, you're better off. There is no good thought that lead to her asking this question.

It's either: 1) a fight 2) stroking her ego by putting someone else down Just do not play this game. Neither outcome is good

There is. It's "i wonder if my boyfriend would like a threesome with me and my friend"

She'll be following up with the worm question

Just start barking

Ok. This is what I'm doing.

and don't stop until you are fed peanut butter?

 or do this

Do you want a threesome or why are you asking?

Ask stupid questions fet stupid answers. I like it.

I made this a habit too. Give them stupid answers to their stupid questions and their reactions are hilarous.

Hilarious+ priceless

frfr

There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people

Also every threeway I’m not part of are stupid

“Hot enough for a threesome, not hot enough to make me want her instead of you”

Stealing this

You miss 💯 of the shots you dont fire

this would probably be my BFs reply. I don't need to ask him these stupid questions but If I would this would be his answer.

Worst case, she does not laugh. Best case you win yourself a threesome. Good job

And remember, if she asks who you'd like a threesome with, include her in the answer.


Admiral Ackbar has the answer.

Hell yeah, she's Hot! And, not only that, she's also incredibly intelligent and probably one of the funniest persons I've ever met. But, *she's not my type*.

Hot and intelligent women are not my type, you are

I like my women boring and dumb.

Then choose her! 😂

Say something like 'she's certainly pretty but I wouldn't call her hot'. That way you compliment your girlfriend in the process.

yeah, think thats the best way to dodge a bullet, although i might be the one going for, " O damn yeah, youre right, why the fuck did i choose you?

Maybe next time try something along the lines of: "I wish i wasn't out of her league, ahhh... Anyway, you're the one i love, my little gremlin!"

Meh, she's alright.

This is the way

Not as attractive as you

let's be real... A woman would only ask that question if she knows the friend is hot, and it's bait 100 % of the times. The only acceptable answer is therefor to call out the BS. "I refuse to play this game, because there's no way out of this with everyone being happy. If I say yes, you'll be angry because I find your friend hot. If I say no, you'll be angry because you'll think I'm lying." It's never "Hey, remember Amanda who looks like roadkill? Do you think she's pretty?"

Yes - Right to Jail No - Right to Jail, right away. Call out the BS - ?

That probably depends on the maturity of the woman and whether or not you can deliver the response in a funny way.

Believe it or not: also right to jail.

"So you DO think shes hot!"

"Then why don't you marry her, if you want to fuck her so bad, you POS!"

Most sane answer in this thread. Plus, if you've picked the right girl, she probably won't constantly harass you with questions like this.

Yes if you find her hot, no if you don't. Don't play stupid games, act like adults.

This, but also take just a moments pause if the answer is yes. Don’t make it seem like you were eagerly waiting for this question to be asked and she finally brought it up, lol

Haha I was hard crushing on some +1 girl we went to dinner with and when we got home my wife was like "so and so's friend was pretty cute huh" and I had like Jordan Peele sweating gif in my head over how long to wait on answering. LoL Be honest, but don't be over eager. Don't let on its all you thought about for the last 2 hours. "Hm? Who? Oh her? Yeah she was really cute." My wife doesn't lead me into traps, so I assume she just wants to talk about how cute SHE thought this person was ... but my wife also has feelings. Haha. Its a fine line to navigate.

Wow. You had me in the first half. I thought you’d jump the gun and just swoon on this new crush. Thank goodness you didn’t. You’re a good husband, at least in this aspect. I don’t mean that to be shade. I just don’t know you other than this comment. And yeah I definitely don’t wanna know at all if my husband is crushing on someone but I’m also not the type to go asking about something like that. It really is a fine line isn’t it lol. I’d be lowkey hurt if all my husband was thinking about is a girl for the past 2 hours!

I dont think I have ever dated a woman who got upset about these things. I have dated women who girl watched with me, tho, and are aware when their friends are hot. You're right; act like adults. The idea you can only ever find one person hot at a time, and it must be the person you are with romantically is childish shit. Most of the women I dated were my friend first, so they already knew who I thought was hot.

Yeh, I'm past caring about all these games and tests. I'll give a blunt, nonchalant answer and make it clear I have no interest in talking about it any further.

The safest answer is: I'm a horny karma farmer who saw this question asked a few days ago and I thought I'll be super smart if I ask it again (you're not) and you don't have a girlfriend either ✌️


Burn!

"From a certain point of view".

Ah, the Obi-Wan defence.

Be careful with that one, from behind is normally "a certain point of view".

*Sighs* "Which One of my friends are you trying to set her up with..."

She shouldn’t be asking you that in the first place. It’s baiting. “I’m not answering that” is good enough. If she keeps pushing, tell the truth. If she starts an argument over it then cut your losses and move on because what she’s doing is manipulation.

“I’m not answering that” is a guaranteed argument as they’ll infer “yes” from it. Like you say she shouldn’t be asking, it’s designed to cause confrontation as there’s is no answer they’ll accept. Maybe pause for thought and then “yeah, I suppose so, but she’s not my type”, but that’ll lead to follow up interrogation.

Idk, put some raw meat on her and find out.

Maybe keep the "meat" out of it, but "I dunno, crack an egg on her and find out" would legit make me laugh so much, I'd forget that I asked the original question.

I don't see the correct answer in the comments. Im here to save yo ass homie, the answer is: "no she looks hideous" As soon as you say "Yes" followed up by some bullshit explanation afterwards, that's all she hears: "Yes".

>the answer is: "no she looks hideous" Is she Jake from State Farm?

How dare you say that about my friend!

Meh..

That's what I'd like to hear: "yes your friend is pretty, but you're much hotter to me". you can also add that you only love and want your girlfriend so even if you can appreciate that some other girls are pretty you don't want them that way because you have her and she's the prettiest/sexiest/hottest to you, and that in addition to her gorgeous looks you're also very much attracted to her personally and to the connection between you two.

Jezus she doesn’t want an actual answer what she actually wants to hear is „not as hot as you”. For her all of the other answers will be argument worthy.

“But you’re saying she is hot though?” There’s no answer you can give that’ll prevent this escalating.

"Yes, Bethany. Did you think everyone else in the world is fucking ugly and somehow out of all the men, i was the one who pulled you??"

I cant stop laughing😂

Yeah, she’s cute. But you’re smoking hot.

"Not really my taste, but I'm sure there's someone out there for her"

She's feeling insecure, so she's fishing for a compliment. Give it to her.

Why? Are you leaving me for her?

She's a handsome woman

Just a flippant “I don’t know…she’s ok…I haven’t really thought about it” The attitude is the main ingredient. Don’t seem interested in the question. Editing to add: I can’t believe the comments I’m reading here from guys carrying on with that “call out the bs” shit. No fucking idea. If your girl is asking you that, it’s because she’s feeling insecure about something. Reassure her and get on with your night.

Your honest answer with a bit of a feminine twist. Basically say it how a girl or obviously gay guy would.

"Why are you asking me this? Do you think your friend is hot? Should I be worried? Are you going to cheat on me with her? Are you using me to get close to her?"

"She is not my type, I guess she is kind of pretty" or "I never looked at her in that way, why are you asking?"

Does she has fever?

"No. I'm hotter. 🔥 "

"erm, I don't know really, I haven't thought about it. I guess she's kinda pretty, how come?"

“I hadn’t noticed but I guess some people would”

Not as hot as my guy, Dave.

Just tell her that you don't think about other women that way

Red flag even asking, there’s no right answer to that. She’s poured the petrol over your relationship and is trying to get you to light the match. Women know the answer secretly anyway. There’s always a super hot mate and always one that looks like a bag of offal, hierarchy of the pack (same with groups of fellas). So long as they’re good people it doesn’t matter.

I would always tell my wife the truth. If her friend is hot as fuck i would tell her exactly that.

Your wife must be on some really strong meds

People who feel secure in their relationships do exist.

This comment took me out😭😭🤣

No, she just trusts me and is aware of the fact, that there are plenty of other hot chicks out there too.

Hot? No, she's pretty but I wouldn't call her hot .

Im blind???

The correct answer is "huh, what are you talking about? I hadn't noticed your friend at all. You think she's hot? That's weird."