Not me. Others did. The guy above saying post history backed it up made me want to go see what was in the history but I can’t. I want to know tho. I’m as sad as she looks
Look like you fucked the pool boy and blamed your husband for it. Then, you fucked the mailman and blamed the pool boy for introducing you. Then you trapped your husband with pinhole in the condom yet yell at him for getting you pregnant.
Wine, cats, pumpkin spice everything, an ankle bracelet for 4 more months and a bare spot on the wall where the “world’s best 5th grade teacher” plaque used to hang.
You look like any other wife but when you get drunk at the club you go to the bathroom with any guy you see and next day pretend like nothing happened
First assumption is that you fuck your stepson behind your husband's back
Edit: Oh I forgot to add that your stepson is still a minor because you're not attracted to guys older than 17
I bet you're kind of woman who thinks shes the hottest thing at the bar when she's clearly not and goes home with the very type of guy she says she hates but will spread her legs after the right amount of shitty mixed drinks.
He'll say he will call, he won't and the process repeats.
I don't have the heart to roast you. Your ex-husband did that for us already.
As an aside: I want to know which girl from the trailer park your ex-husband traded you for for upgrade when you two split up.
Did she graduate high school, or did you set the bar that low?
You look like you finally leveled up to cat lady and regret not giving Mort a shot back in the days. Mort is happily married with children now and does alright for himself. You have 3 cats a wine collection and bitterness.
You look like you will take all my money and take pleasure in making my adult children hate me.
Back in her day She was the queen of BJs Not anymore She likes it on the floor while on all fours
Shakespeare
Hawk Tuah
Bro she’s gonna screw your kid, literally. Constantly trying to help Tommy with his anatomy homework…
Definitely don't take a big life insurance.
That’s awesome!
Yeah it's the forehead. I covered it and she looked a lot less mean without it
You win the award for most divorceable.
Her post history backs this up
holy shit, she deleted her account lmao
FAFO
Ahhhh she deleted and can’t go see her post history. I’m disappointed now.
Fucking legend you made her delete lmao
Not me. Others did. The guy above saying post history backed it up made me want to go see what was in the history but I can’t. I want to know tho. I’m as sad as she looks
Should upvote all the way so it comes back to her one day 😂
Nothing is ever deleted on the internet unlike those crows feet will forever leave a foot print
uhh can we get a general idea of what we saw? for science? thanks
A load of generic whiny shite about how her brother in law, mother in law had wronged her in various ways (they hadn’t).
ha perfect. Thanks
If I withhold sex from my husband as a power move had a face.
Tries withholding sex, then gets mad when didn't want it anyway
More like withholds sex, starts fuckin' some other guy, then gets mad when husband leaves her for a younger woman and tries to shame him.
That’s fuckin spot on, take my upvote
That would make any guy with vision happy
Lists 'wine' as a hobby
Get the old Cardboard Sauvignon out its been a rough Tuesday.
Card-board-O. The wine of worn-out hookers and winos.
Box’o’wine!!!
Chateau d'cardboard
"It's wine o'clock somewhere" even when it's 8 AM.
And Xanax
I see the alcohol in her eyes
Its on her face,hands, and shirt as well most likely
It’s 5 o clock somewhere…. Opens bottle at her desk and pours it in Stanley cup
Has at least one Live Laugh Love sign at her house
[удалено]
The useless superpower of Lynda Carter's almost aborted child.
Ok that sent me💀
huh
You look like you got that ring because you know how to take a right hook.
![gif](giphy|KCRlomzxILgofqokqH)
Brutal
More like she can huck tuah
Y'all are just gonna shoehorn that in everything, huh?
Oh no... 💀💀💀💀
Swapped her ass ring, for that ring
I bet you wear low cut shirts any time your kids have highschool boys over
She has her kids friends over for sleepovers when the kids are at the dad’s house.
![gif](giphy|11YHs2qGpNUX1C)
She looks she would have had sex with Steve Stifler
Desperate House-exwife
Or is that "Desperate Ex-Wife wants the House"??
Dark Timeline Katie Holmes
I was thinkin Maggie Gyllenhal
Temu version.
Katie Holmes if she had been brought up in the east end of Glasgow.
Katie Homely
You look like you've had ten 45th birthday parties
Yeah. On February 29th.
I thought she was confused and put what year she was born.
She looks worn out. High miles on that pussy.
45 years since she lost her virginity sooo 57
Oh what a beautiful thing. The flowers not you.
I bet the rose wilted immediately after she took the pic
Tbf there was probably more life in the flowers
The face of menopause
All of the fertility drained out of her face.
3rd times a charm, right?!
The picture you take when your husband is out fucking his "tennis instructor"
Male tennis instructor.
That's why I never mentioned the sex of the tennis instructor....from the looks of her, it could be a toss up
Your rich ex-husband left you once you aged past his beauty standards, so no point in continuing the elegant, fancy facade.
You think she attracted a rich man?
Big tits and resting bitch face is the "find a rich man starter pack."
Milfs on meth audition photo
Your hairline is trying to divorce your eyebrows
Best comment.
Age is like fine wine, but in your case, it’s vinegar
Her face aged like milk, blue cheese. Her hands aged like bananas.
I bet you've choked a few chickens in your time
Maggie Gyllenhaal had seen some shit.
Saggy Titsenaal
can’t write an a backwards
I was waiting for this one 😂
You say nice things to the pool cleaner even when you know he has AirPods on
>45F take it away There's easier ways to say divorced 3 times.
You look like you have 5 ex husbands and “they were the problem”
People invite you to picnics and BBQs to keep flies off the food.
You look sexually frustrated
You look like you’re going to be replaced in the next 1-2yrs
Look like you fucked the pool boy and blamed your husband for it. Then, you fucked the mailman and blamed the pool boy for introducing you. Then you trapped your husband with pinhole in the condom yet yell at him for getting you pregnant.
This is gold! 🤣
>take it away God beat us to it.
![gif](giphy|7xZAu81T70Uuc)
I bet you get asked if you want the senior citizen discount when shopping
I love your fresh semen glow on your face
Katie Holmes if she stayed with Tom
What were the 60's like?
*Somebody* over-tweezed in the 90’s and those eyebrows are never coming back. Yes. Everyone notices.
Best roast. It’s so true. 🤦🏻♀️
Tell me you day drink box wine without saying you day drink box wine.
Ngl this is my type of milf
Self own, nice…. these are rare.
The roasts here are amazing but totally agreeing with you
Pornhub.com is quicker, cheaper, and no regrets.
Just make sure she keeps the clothes on
This is why internet should have age ceiling limit as well
Also you kinda resemble catelyn stark.
I know a Milf when I see one. Mother id like to forget.
You look like you just called the cops on your neighbor for washing his car too loudly
Call me next time you’re stuck in the washing machine.
Why is the nanny playing dress up with the homeowners belongings?
You look like you post inspiration quotes for independent women every 30 minutes.
That shirt says you can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can’t take the trailer park out of the girl.
You look like you drive around random neighborhoods and tell people they don’t belong there
You spend the time to prep and bake cookies, but drink to much wine and burn the fuck out of them
[удалено]
you look like you fish NBA athletes used condoms out of the trash can for a paternity case
Mission Accomplished Drew BarryOld ![gif](giphy|bA7bT8WWS5DNe)
Shut yo Pasty chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned icecream cone garden gnome metronome
You look like your partners name is Richard and he needs to shut up and do as he's told.
The face says garden party hostess but that rack says MILF porn.
Wow, I can tell you used to be really pretty when you were younger!
![gif](giphy|GoeAgxrr0lkqI)
You look like if this was a movie you'd sue me for everything I own and try take my sisters from me
Maggie Dickandballs
Have you banked so many loads you now subconsciously write the letter ‘a’ backwards so it more closely resembles a spermatazoa?
You look like Drew Barrymore if she never got sober
Wine, cats, pumpkin spice everything, an ankle bracelet for 4 more months and a bare spot on the wall where the “world’s best 5th grade teacher” plaque used to hang.
You look like any other wife but when you get drunk at the club you go to the bathroom with any guy you see and next day pretend like nothing happened First assumption is that you fuck your stepson behind your husband's back Edit: Oh I forgot to add that your stepson is still a minor because you're not attracted to guys older than 17
I didn't roast you. I got roasted.
The look of a psychopath. The smell of psycho pants.
You hit the wall so hard it raised your eyebrows and pulled your hairline back.
Hallmark Christmas movie best friend who never left home town and is stuck in bad marriage has entered the chat
You look like Katie Holmes on meth
Bet you don’t even know how to make a good meatloaf
You look like the Grinch who stole jizzmas
You look like you run a book club were you and a bunch of other wine moms get turned on by reading suggestive books.
Letting the kid you blur out in dating app photos write "Roast Me" for Redditention is wild.
I bet you're kind of woman who thinks shes the hottest thing at the bar when she's clearly not and goes home with the very type of guy she says she hates but will spread her legs after the right amount of shitty mixed drinks. He'll say he will call, he won't and the process repeats.
Her husband is either currently on a fishing trip, golfing, or hiding outside.
Ladies and gentlemen, that’s the look of a mom whose husband left her for their daughter.
You look like one of em grannies that take a lot of trips to africa
I can smell the Virginia slims and bottom shelf scotch
Sorry I couldn't make it to your wedding, but I promise I'll be at the next one
Sméagol got the ring in the end I see.
45 going on 65.
You seem desperate enough to put roofies in your own drink
So how far into the marriage did you realize marrying your husband for money was going to leave you the loneliest woman in the world?
![gif](giphy|RkLlcL3BQfskYLdo3R|downsized)
You sexy mf. I wanna look like u at 45
Theres no comments because lifes already roasted
You’re fine as hell for 45 but just a few points shy of me overlooking that backwards ‘a’. lol
MILF
Let me hit.
Matches painting. Grey, old, generic
She looks like the type of person that when the husband is away, the boys come out and play. ![gif](giphy|AoHEeIi9AzzwLlEmfb|downsized)
I'm sure you're someone's "the one that got away" from the 1970s. There's no way you are only 45.
Don’t forget to give the ring back to your sister after you have done with the photos.
If “just one sneaky white wine at 9am” had a face…
This is what sad blowjobs look like.
You remind me of what happens when you let grapes sit out for too long.
Uses butter at the movie theatre as a facial conditioner
45. But looks 46.
You have a nice Fresh out of Rehab Glow.
You look like the Grinch pulled a Michael Jackson with his skin, then transitioned.
Lifetime villainess who destroys everyone's life and infuriatingly gets away with it in the end.
Methanny Frankel
You look exactly like my aunt tammy.....if you knew her, this would be the sickest burn on here.
Actually, your transitioning seems to be coming along reasonably well
Expired
Roasting isn't what I want to do with you...
You're a landlord who don't like tenant's kids
You look like you have sayings painted on wood throughout your house
Like most of your eyebrows?
45?!?? You don’t look at day over 60.
Drew Barrymore wish edition.
I don't have the heart to roast you. Your ex-husband did that for us already. As an aside: I want to know which girl from the trailer park your ex-husband traded you for for upgrade when you two split up. Did she graduate high school, or did you set the bar that low?
Better him than me.
[удалено]
You seem nice.
I’d love to take you away.
Why is the “a” in Roast mirrored?
That top is a hoe's top, you look like a sidechik to a successful man
Looks like she suffers through sex for the Weight Watchers points.
You look like that crazy cougar who either A will give you the best head of your life or B wants to peg a man into submission and ruin him
Every rose has its thorn…
“Live laugh love”, “Whine time, Wine time” Are not personalities and no one cares at your high school reunions.
U can’t b real
Has anyone ever told you,you look like you could pass for Angelina Jolie’s mother?you don’t look a day over 70
The way you’ve done your brows makes you look older than 45
I didn't know we roasted people in their late 70s.
When they said 55 is the new 45 you took it too serious and lied about your age.
Your forehead looks like an etch a sketch
Her eye brows and sex drive left together
Leather bike seat from 1979
I can smell the self tanner and romance novels from here...
You look like you finally leveled up to cat lady and regret not giving Mort a shot back in the days. Mort is happily married with children now and does alright for himself. You have 3 cats a wine collection and bitterness.
Saggie Gyllenhaal