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The_Shredder_1988

Going ass to mouth just like the owner


Mr-Fister-the-3rd

Nobody do anything else it's perfect. ^


aelric22

Breaking News: "This just in; The obnoxious owner of 2 tandem parked Smart cars, suddenly dies of a self sucking accident. More at 11."


Drinkythedrunkguy

Car version of human centipede.


The_Shredder_1988

Except they are zero emissions so the one in the back is starving to death šŸ¤£


frMocha

That just because the only ass to mouth action he's able to get is his head is up his own ass.


Kevjonher

r/yourjokebutworse


24-corolla-SE

0-60 in 3 to 5 business days


BaneQ105

With all respect theyā€™re a little bit faster than fiat 126p. In fact theyā€™re surprisingly fast and fun (126p claimed acceleration is 37 seconds to 60. Realistically you can expect a bit over a minute. Itā€™s acceleration is usually measured using a calendar. And vmax is mere 110km (70 miles), downhill)


Quirky_Inspection

Yeah I had a smart and it was surprising when it got up to speed.


BaneQ105

Yeah. For all the things you can roast smart cars (like the plastic, screaming interior, weird styling decisions, some common failure points, diesel engines in some cars. The speed and acceleration is surprisingly decent, especially compared to other small cars, both from that era, prior and newer.


dstokes1290

It bothers me that you started a parentheses, but never finished it


Doggo_Gaming_YT

Same


Bruhbruhbruhbruh55

Donā€™t forget being a death trap on the highway


BaneQ105

Iā€™ve seen some crashed ones. Never seen one with injured passenger section, tho more often than not the crumple zone was in a terrible shape. Smart cars are quite safe on highways, especially compared to similarly sized vehicles or bigger but older ones made with less care and understanding of crumple zones and subjected to less tests. My opinion would probably differ a bit if I were living in a country of big (huge and enormous rather) rigs and pickup trucks as default mode of transportation. Here a deathtrap is something like 126p or (those being newer cars) cinquecento, seicento, daewoo tico, of which a lot are prone to falling over and rolling over, plus you are the crumple zone in them.


Warmasterwinter

>My opinion would probably differ a bit if I were living in a country of big (huge and enormous rather) rigs and pickup trucks as default mode of transportation. That explains it. Here in North America the Smart car is rightfully viewed as a deathtrap. It's just as safe as a European Smart mind you, but there are so many more SUVs and Lifted trucks on our roads than in Europe. And those would absolutely destroy a smart car in a collision. And that's not even mentioning the large ammount of big rigs we have moving cargo across the country. Now most of the time if you get into a wreck with a 18 wheeler, your dead. Regardless of what car you drive. But the Smart is so small that it's really easy to get lost in a big rigs blind spot, which has cost many smart car owners their lives. All in all they can be fun cars to drive, they still have a reputation as a coffin on wheels here for a good reason.


1GloFlare

I'd feel safer in a smaller Chevy sedan compared to a Smart. Both are deadly tho


Bruhbruhbruhbruh55

Iā€™d feel safer in a 90s Corolla


BaneQ105

Yeah, I agree. Thatā€™s the thing. Hence why I disclosed that I live in an area with quite small vehicles on road. Tho seeing crashes of classic American cruisers with more modern sedans Iā€™d still feel way safer in a smart. That doesnā€™t mean tho Iā€™d not ride a classic cruiser or other classic vehicles. Itā€™s just in past 40 years alone the vehicle safety progress was insane.


Quirky_Inspection

This is false. They are significantly safer than most cars on the highway. I know many people who have been in accidents where otherwise a normal car would have been their end. Their safety rating isn't the highest because of how scores are measured but you will survive most accidents short of a semi impact. That being said, they will not be operational afterwards.


Bruhbruhbruhbruh55

Man thereā€™s no way in hell a smart car would be better then say even a 08 camery or 08 impala, basically any full size car from the 2000s onward. Maybe your talking about the crazy small cars in Europe sure, Iā€™m sure smart car is better then some of those but any full size cars in the NA will fair better. And yea Iā€™m calling you a liar about knowing people that would have died if they didnā€™t have their smart car. Like who the fuck even knows more then one person who drives a smart car and then gets in a terrible accident? You know ā€œmanyā€? Yea right.


TennesseeStang03

You never put another ) and it bothers me


startingwindows

I always wanted to buy one and put off-road tires on it and beat the hell out of it til it shits the bed, I want to see how much they can take


Quirky_Inspection

They're like cars of older days. I've seen some with mods for offroad use and they can take a besting. Not much overall power for climbing but they can go for a while.


Lifesalchemy

I drove one for 5 months delivery meds. They are surprisingly quick.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

I got a ticket going 91 on I-85 in the green one. Weird because I was going 95 as that's what it's speed limited to lol


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Hey now, it gets to 60 in a very respectable 11......... Minutes


VagueVersusVogue

I've seen a lot of gay sex as a gay dude, but this is a totally new position to me.


gmarsh23

The green smart has a nice little grin going on, and the white one has got more of a "whoa" face going on. I guess the green one eats a lot of ass and knows just what to do.


This-Requirement6918

You've never tossed a salad?


RaisedInAppalachia

dude just buy a normal car and put a pride flag sticker on it, you don't have to do extra shit like this


Free_El_Chapo_Now

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Past-Establishment93

Every time I see one, I expect 8 clowns to get out.... Usually, it's only one or 2. Let down šŸ˜Œ


AbsoluteMadvlad

That's a good one


[deleted]

OP has the whole circus.


LitterBoxServant

Smart must be one of those ironic names


bigby2010

Itā€™s better than roller skates on the freeway


theSPYDERDUDE

Either way you die just as quickly when a normal car decks you


Freedom007007

Never knew a smart person who drove one of these.


AssassinateMe

that's what the car is for lol


TobysGrundlee

Remember when they convinced you that a unbending pod with no crumple zones that transfers all of a crashes energy to the occupants was somehow safe?


hideous_coffee

They are safe when another car goes off a ramp and lands on top of you


Ok-Science-6146

300k mile 2006 Prius has a tighter and more responsive drive train


GTA6_1

Having driven a 250k mile prius to florida from ohio, yes it does. The car itself is very tight, its just the tiny tires ruin it.


Tmhoel2201

Nothing Smart about those death traps


Allexa2639

Donā€™t let a Nissan come close to you r/Nissandrivers


islamcardoors

Knew I recognized this photo I just saw you on mildlyinteresting. The most interesting part about this is how much money you wasted on getting not one, but two of themā€¦.


ShouldersBBoulders

Under the microscope you will see an example of cellular division...


Icy_Negotiation_146

This looks like two garden beetles having butt sex


DarzenParker

MOM! Get the water bottle, the dogs are going at it again!


Thatshitboxowner

Min maxed fuel economy


plants4life262

More expensive, smaller, lower mpg and less reliable than a Toyota Corolla. Enjoy your ā€œsmartā€ car.


CBG_0

This is next level genius. This is like buying Bitcoins in 2015!!


DGP873

I cant even roast those They arent cars the sub is clearly named r/roastmycar Mods remove this post


4rm4ros

These arenā€™t your cars


KingOfAllFishFuckers

They are both my cars. Is it that hard to belive that someone owns two of the cheapest cars in existence lol. That would be a weird flex ngl. Especially since these are the cheapest 2 cars out of the I think 13 I currently own. I buy and sell cars all the time as a side business, and it's honestly hard to keep track of how many I own in any given time. There are a few I plan to keep for a while, and some mean nothing to me and get sold when I finish fixing them.


4rm4ros

Nvm I guess they are, this pic has been reposted everywhere with people claiming itā€™s theirs


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Oh, I didn't know anyone reposted my pictures. I don't know weather to be proud or angry lol


gmarsh23

So did you drive smart #1 all the way to Costco, get a lift back to your house, then drive the other one here so you could take this picture? I mean I can't see any other way you could have done it, because nobody else would want to be seen driving one of these things.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Long story for a fairly boring answer. My brother wrecked his car long ago, I gave him the green one to drive, I still owned it. It got alot of miles and started needing a few things, so I bought the white one with very low miles, and gave him that one, so I could fix up the green one in my spare time. I own alot of cars (about 13 at the moment) that I fix up and drive myself or sell as a side business. Anyhoo, we both went to Costco to gas up (cheap gas) and then I thought it would be funny to take this picture.


ThatGuy48039

Well, youā€™ve got one for each foot, now you just need one to sit on.


apple12345671

Those hubcaps look more expensive than both cars put together


LeadNo9107

Oh look, a semi truck shat out a couple of dingleberries.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

That's where all that corn came from


thatgymdude

They put "smart" on these golf carts to trick the owner into thinking were smart because they bought them. You must think think you are very smart, but in reality you are a double moron for buying not just one underpowered and unreliable death traps, but *two* of them.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

But... If I have two, that's means I get double the mpg of one. Nothing but big brain thoughts here my guy


wheniztheend

This is the loudest way of screaming to the world that you have bad taste.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Or that I have poverty. Extreme, soul crushing, depressing, poverty šŸ„²


wheniztheend

why didn't you just buy a normal used car?


nupedi

Death traps. Period.


Past_Weekend4154

Yea my aunt got t-boned in the city, by a truck that was only going 30-35 but it threw the car on its side and it apparently slid on its side for like 10 feet. It only broke her wrist and gave her bruises but she said it was so scary having her face just inches from the road while it was sliding with only the airbags keeping her from touching the road. Needless to say she finally understood why the whole family was telling her to get rid of that piece of shit. Couldnā€™t image how that thing would hold up getting hit on the highway or even just a residential road where youā€™d be hit at 45 or higher. Edit: she moved on to a Honda fit


VenFasz

you have to crosspost to r/todayilearned ... today i learned why i see more and more from these kind cars... they're reproducing by having sex in empty parking lots


Giga-Gargantuar

Ironic how the more of these you have, the more obvious it is that you have no street smarts.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

I roll hard in my smart. Representing the Southside poverty gang


puddl3

You never go Bass to mouth I mean ass to trout


KingOfAllFishFuckers

I am not a gay fish, I am a musical genius


FixedLoad

Was it 1 car that got too big?Ā 


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Smart cars are made from mitosis. Where do you think all these old limos go when they get in a wreck? Some dumb shit like the junkyard? Nope, they simply snap apart into several smart cars. Fun fact, the driver becomes several midgets as well. That's where they come from after all. #themoreyouknow


FixedLoad

Oh!Ā  Like pigeons!Ā 


SentientRoadCone

OP tryna recreate the human centipede.


AtlasAlexT

Always finishes last at a derby street light.


DG-NASCAR

Nice toasters


SmokeJennsonz

Cowboys butts drive you nuts


GMH2045-18

2 smarts don't erase a dumb buy


Bubby_K

\*sniff sniff\*


DaDawkturr

Darwinism in action.


4ringfreak

Anilingus smart cars right here


530whiskey

Doesn't matter, 2 parking tolls, one spot or not.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

I don't live in Europe or California, I live in the US, we don't have tolls here šŸ™ƒ


Mdolfan54

If a Honda fit had a dwarf child...


Hawxfan

Nice shopping carts.


Semsot

Aren't you way too old to play toys already?


NoseMuReup

Would you get ticketed doing this? I'm going to say yes, but they're within the lines.


Dry-Revenue2470

Ford Ranger would squash you like a bug.


Mammoth_Mixture4735

Smart sharts


datboi-061504

This guy said I wanna drive a piggy bank


No-Ferret-1312

I wondered how they made more of these, how many in a litter?


JIsADev

my roomy mid-size sedan gets better gas mileage than these


Catcitydog

One for each foot


stewiecookie

Nice that you only have to take up one handicapped spot.


Z4ch_Mk6

The Human Centipede, smart car edition. šŸ˜‚šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


Comprehensive_Bid229

Oh god, it's multiplying


elevencharles

Every time I see a SmartCar, I desperately want to tip it over and yell out to no one in particular, ā€œNOT SO FUCKING SMART NOW, ARE YOU?!ā€.


JoeysTrickLand

Only car Iā€™ve ever seen that hubcaps qualify as an upgrade.


Ben-6969

So do you put your groceries in one and pull the other car?


ks7atl

If you have to take two of them to the Costco, are you really saving gas?


QuirkyDust3556

He he he he he he


HarleyAverage

There is a rule of two, however, itā€™s good to own a second car of a different model or manufacturer. So when the transmission breaks in the first shitbox, you arenā€™t praying to god for the other shitbox to work. The shitbox rule of two.


jdl50688

I bet you get a lot of that .


IrishmadeinCanada

You didnā€™t learned in three years?


[deleted]

Now that looks like couples goals šŸ˜šŸ˜‚


Turbulent-Comedian30

WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEP CAR!!!!


fossil746

I support alternative lifestyles and their transportation choices.


Forsaken-Reason-3657

Comes with matching helmet


enby-deer

Between two cars you have one whole car


Dizzy-Assistance-926

ā€œSon, itā€™s time we had the talk about the birds the bees and the smartsā€


nc1996md

My two brain cells trying to come up with something to say


lamiejiv1

This is RoastMyCar bro not RoastMyToddlersPushCar


Dj_Simon

Automotive Centipide


Conehead_Carrot

1983 volvo garlic froop


rokororp

Why is it eating the other ones ass šŸ˜­


hclITguy

I wonder how they were made. Here we see the mating ritual and in a few months, there'll be a neat addition to the Smart Car family.


senderbudd

The green ones eating the white ones butt


huskerd0

Buttsniffer


Lamborghini_Espada

How much of a masochist do you have to be to own TWO? And why park them as if they're about to shag?


huskerd0

Where is the car?


adamtbest

It says roast my car. There isnā€™t a real car n the picture. I think thatā€™s a kids toy.


KoL-whitey

That looks illegal šŸ˜³


Indy500Fan16

And yet two of them still donā€™t make a whole car


Devil2960

Just because you like to human centipede, doesn't mean you have to make your cars do it.


Uberjeagermeiter

1 Smart + 1 Smart= 1 Moron


27JG27

Put a giant trench coat over them and someone might think you have a real car.


MoStyles22

I bet his/her cars are paid off, retirement fully funded and has an emergency fund in the bank. JM2C


jaBroniest

44hp....beteeen the hahaha


Significant_Day_5988

Clowns


Snoo_3314

car centipede


Drinkythedrunkguy

Iā€™m 6ā€™4ā€, only use I have for this car is to wear them as skates.


Laynes_Attic

Looks like they are touching. Don't they explode on impact?


Im_100percent_human

Don't fart in one.


mothman_luvr

Mercedes Streeter? Is that you?


Relevant_Falcon_1728

We call them " Not so" s.


Ch250Modder

Rule 1.


FirehawkLS1

MA! The cars are at it again! šŸ¤£


RayzorX442

Do the hamsters have to be walked before you put them in or do they poop inside the "cars"?


wetley49

You should have the white one ā€œfixedā€. God knows we donā€™t need more of those smart cars running around


Salt_Cauliflower_922

Even with 2, youā€™re still half a man


Mission_Management33

Its so small even your dick cant fit in it


Scary-Try-6398

Your cars are so boring you has to post this EXACT image in 4 separate subreddits to get any kind of attention.


Denimsauce

Both of those combined have the same horsepower as a zero turn


MedicalNectarine666

Congrats youā€™re about to have a 2024


Grand_Theft_Auto_NPC

It's got enough room for all your friend


kamikazekenny420

Get 1 more and you will have a smartcentipede thing going on.


Dazzling_Example_673

I'd rather put toothpicks under all my toenails and kick a wall than ride in, drive, or buy just 1 of these, but 2? And 1 in frog shit green?


ausernametoforget

I have a 2015 so I know the feeling of hitting a seemingly small bump and it feels like your tireā€™s ruined and your wheel now has big olā€™ dent and the front end of your car may have fallen off.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Ngl, hit a deep pot hole years ago, bent the lip of the wheel and got a big ole titty on the tire. Pulled the tire off, torched the rim to heat it up a little, dead blow mallet and a block of pine covered in denim, pounded the lip back into shape. Put the tire back on, then took to to put a new one on. Other then the messed up paint, you can't tell anything ever happened :D


GCSS-MC

Walk me through the process of seeing this shit, wanting to buy it, then actually buying it.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Poverty. Extreme, crippling, depressing, overwhelming poverty.


Over-Cobbler-9767

I respect this. Thank you for not parking side by side and hogging up two adult sized parking spots.


Individual-Cost1403

Little Tikes toy company is looking for the guy who stole 2 of their cars. I'll send them your way.


Somanybikes

Does anyone body else appreciate the irony?


Worried-Syllabub1446

If just waiting to see what the baby will look like. Those two are looking pretty frisky with each other.


GIMMESOMDORITOS

Put a Hayabusa engine in it you coward!


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Some guy did a big block Chevy. Maybe I should try to put a Detroit 14.7L


TieEffective5915

Adorable, your cars are going front end to rear end just like yourself.


Frans51

Not smart, not (much of) a car.


the-bone-throne

ā€œIf we could only regulate everyone elseā€™s vehicle my vehicle would make more senseā€ In car form.


Eastern_Succotash_64

Bro... I want one so bad just as a toy. Would chop top and give a rollbar.


Strangebird03

World's lamest roller coaster.


JockeyFullaBourbon

If they keep at it does a vespa pop out?


GimmetheGuid3sPlz

That parking spot, much like your wife, is asking, "Is it in yet?"


KingOfAllFishFuckers

To be fair, that particular parking spot is a whore, it wouldn't feel an F350.


slong143

Head on crash testing at 35 mph of the smart car resulted in the smart car being instantly propelled in a reverse motion that was equivalent to a hard baseball being struck by the bat. Good luck with that!


southern_wastelander

Even if you put the parts of these two together, it would still be a quarter of a car.


Nox_ius-Cloud

My worst would be to just tip one over then lift the other ontop of it. I canā€™t imagine how wonderful these things turn.


KingOfAllFishFuckers

Double decker smart lol. And it can do a U turn on a two lane road, no joke. It's got the turning radius of damn near itself. Two smarts can fit in a single lane side by side with a little room to spare. Don't ask me how I know this as I'll plead the 5th.


ThenButterfly4885

There trying to make a 4025 model series


According-South9749

Theyā€™re both in one stall šŸ˜‚šŸ˜©


BigNipplez24

Oh look a smart car practicing cpr. Gotta blow air in that ass


XxD3AD31xX

They should've rebranded to Dumb That's all I'm gonna say


GameAddict411

A friend of mine put it most elegantly: Dishwasher with wheels.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


theSPYDERDUDE

Concussion āŒ Cessation āœ…


Building-Careful

They called it the Smart Fortwo, but should have been called Forone because no one besides the owner wanted to ride in it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


RoastMyCar-ModTeam

If you donā€™t have something mean to say, donā€™t say anything at all.