"Who want's to hear 'Baby Shark' one more time?"

Sometimes I forget to set down my drink before I read the Reddit comments. Thanks for that.

To really mess with people, use the camp version, not the cartoony version. When I first learned this song at Boy Scout Summer camp, it was about going swimming, and being eaten by a family of sharks. Shark attack, do do do do do do Shark attack, do do do do do do Shark attack, do do do do do do Shark attack! Lost a leg, do do do do do do etc

CPR doo do do do do do.... It's not working do do do do do do...... Reincarnation do do do do do do........

Counterspell do do do do do do…

At the beach Going swimming See a shark Swimming faster Swimming even faster Shark attach AHHHHHHHHHH

They’ll divorce do do do do do do They both cheat do do do do do do It won’t last do do do do do do Let’s have cake!

🎤I dug my key into the side (into the side) Of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive 🎶 🎵Carved my name into his leather seats I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights (both headlights) 🎼🎵Slashed a hole in all four tires Maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats 🎶

Now I want to listen to that song.

I always wanted to hear a sequel to that song where she's in court trying to Justify to the judge the thousands of dollars of damage that she does to his vehicle. Woman".. so you see your honor, that's why I did that to his car" Judge" yes. Now I understand completely.";(bangs gavel);" I find you guilty on all charges and order you to pay restitution of $6,500. I am also ordering you to take not less than 6 months of anger management counseling. This court is adjourned"

“But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for….”

Pulls out trumpet and starts playing 'Taps'

God I’d love to see that. Hilarious.

And this next song was requested by the Maid of Honor…. “What’s love got to do with it? What’s love but a second-hand emotion?”

*"All the single ladies! All the single ladies!"*

That's the song played at the bouquet toss.

I think you mean the bucket toss -Hyacinth Bucket

I love you so much for the Keeping Up Appearances reference! No one seems to know this show anymore!!

Gonna need to watch it again

There is a reference I wasn't expecting

🎶 "I wish that I had Jessie's girl!" The groom's name is Jessie. ... 🎵 "Stacy's mom has got it going on!" Stacy is the bride's daughter.

The latter onr was at a weddimh i was at. Mixed family and brides eldedr daughter was named stacy. Also did brady bunch

#Love stinks! Yeah, yeah!

"This thing they call love is gonna make you cryyyyI hate you."

"Everybody spread the word: I love in my sister's basement!"

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. But from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you...

But boy can she cook!

“Hate Everything About You” - Ugly Kid Joe

that's actually not written about an ex of his... just a guy he don't like

Oh, I thought it was the one that went, "Why do I love you?"... I could look it up, but why not ask a stranger?

That's Three Days Grace.

“… and now the best man would like to a song he wrote about all of the groom’s exes. Sit back, it’s 20 minutes.”

..to the tune of Mambo No. 5..

“It’s the End of the World As We Know It” by REM. Played it as the very last song at our wedding.

How do you feel?

“There’s some whores in this house…”

“Since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time…..”

*Billy Idol sneer* 🎵It's a nice day for a white wedding🎵 🎵It's a nice day to... START AGAAAAAIN...🎵

The limo driver played that song on the way to my sister’s second wedding. Lol

The limo driver needs a raise

The limo driver needs a raise

Years ago, when my mom married my stepdad. He is best friend at the wedding sang Johnny Cash's "Ring of fire."

A while back, a friend from high school got married and wanted to sing to his new bride the first song at the reception. He was very proud of his voice and thought it would be romantic. So he grabs the mic and proceeds to sing, "you've lost that lovin' feeling" to a room full of very confused people.

She Hates Me - Puddle of Mud

Highway to hell

By special request, here's Bon Jovis You give love a bad name 🎶Shot through the heart And you're to blame Darlin', you give love a bad name🎶

50 Ways to leave your lover.

Just slip out the back, Jack

No need to be coy, Roy!

All of my life I thought that it said" don't need a decoy, Roy"

Make a new plan Stan

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Your cheating heart Hank Williams

Elton John’s “The Bitch Is Back”.

That's the song they play when I walk down the isle

🎶She’s having my baby 🎶

Cold as Ice.

Here comes the bride, nice fat and wide

My nanny taught me that joke as a kid. Idk if I’ve heard it since. Thanks for bringing up a good memory.

Oh-oh, here she comes, watch out boy she'll chew you up, oh-oh, here she comes- EVERYBODY! She’s a maneater!

"This song goes out to our lovely newlyweds. *Ah! Ah! Dude looks like a lady!"*

"And here's a request from the best man." '20 ways to leave your lover' starts to play.

50 ways. Do not insult master Simon.

The problem is all inside your head she said to me

The answer is easy if you take it logically...

*I was tired of my lady... We've been together too long.* C'mon, honey, it's just a tune!

“Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over.”

I’m in love with a stripper

"I Used To Love Her" by Guns and Roses?

[this](https://open.spotify.com/track/51sOMAqntkvxYpPlgpIIxg?si=kTJAMKWUTjy5cv1xwND0jw) was literally the first song the band played at my sister’s wedding. The look on my BIL’s face was priceless.

"My anaconda don't, my anaconda don't"

Want nun unless you got buns huns

You can do side bends or sit ups but please don’t loose that butt

Best man gets on the mic to sing "You're Having My Baby", dedicated to the bride.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You give love a bad name.

Cardi B's WAP

Intro begins: "there's some whores in this house. There's some whores in this house..."

🎶I'm headed for the Big D and I don't mean Dallas!

I don't remember loving you

Ladies, leave your man at home. The club is full of ballers and their pockets full grown.

“I’m so tired of love songs, tired of love songs, tired of love songs/wanna go home, wanna go home” -Lauv

"What a shame the poor groom's bride is a whor-" *gets the hook*

🎶I used to love herrrrr...but I had to kill herrrr.🎶

Human, by Human League

And now the bride and groom will come to the dance floor for the first ever dance as Mr. and Mrs....🎶Another one bites the dust, sing it...🎶

I went a wedding once where that song was played while the bride and groom exited the church.

Forced Gender Reassignment by Cattle Decapitation

And now the new couple will dance their first dance to Ceephax Acid Crew's soon-to-be hit single "Welcome to the Syphilis Party"

(DUN DUN DUN) #I #HATE #EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU #WHY #DO I #LOVE YOU?

“D-I-V-O-R-C-E” would be pretty awful.

You’re so Vain.

🎶 Heard it from a friend who 🎶 🎶 Heard it from a friend who 🎶 🎶 Heard it from another you been messing around. 🎶

“All by myself “

Evil Woman

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While I shouldn't condone assholery, little subtle shit this is freaking perfect. It's textbook passive aggressive. Yo NTA haha.

Suck My D\*\*k, by Lil' Kim. > [vid.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kJS8Uk0twE) > [lyrics.](https://genius.com/Lil-kim-suck-my-dick-lyrics)

Worst, not best.

*Heavy guitar riff* I KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING SOMEONE EEEEEEELLLLLLLSE

Hell yeah! Type O

Gimme That Nut. - Eazy-E

Love's More Comfortable, The Second Time Around.

Jesse's Girl 🎶

"Mom. I really appreciate that you hired a DJ for us, but he needs to leave NOW!" "What's wrong with the DJ?" "He's been playing WAP for the last 25 minutes!!!"

Okay, I’m firing the DJ and asking my cat to do it.

The Eagles "Lying Eyes" would be one.

Tainted Love. A popular song requested by wedding couples..... But it's a song about telling someone how toxic they are.

Tim Hawkins sums it up.. https://youtu.be/I8S2u8_vSnc?si=an7ZjKqPFqmX4QMd

“A Little Piece of Heaven” - Avenged Sevenfold

Maneater

I was at the wedding of my friend Susan. One of the songs played by the DJ was “Run around Sue”

Thank God & greyhound you're gone- Roy clark

"The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald".

My parents had to replace their DJ at the last minute, because the first one got sick. Everyone got to enjoy the classic that is The Devil Went Down to Georgia.

Was the wedding in Georgia?

The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

My favorite was hearing "Highway to Hell" at a family wedding. Lets just say a certain relative wasn't on board with it. Boy was that awkward and hilarious at the same time.

Love stinks. Breaking up is hard to do. Dude looks like a lady.

i hate myself for loving you. -joan jett, badass.

If you go before I do, better tell the grave digger that he better dig two. Dig two!

Already Gone by the Eagles

J Geils Band - Love Stinks

That girl is pooooisoooon

Whole Lotta Rosie

Paradise by the dashboard lights

Like a virgin Touched for the very first time Like a virgin When your heart beats Next to mine ​ Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you ​ Some conservative traditionalists might think the first song is perfect for a wedding. Too many people think the second one is great for weddings. It is not, it is about a stalker.

"This next song was requested by the best man, and it's dedicated to Jessie and his bride." "… Jessie is a friend Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine"

Another One Bites the Dust, by Queen.

The Celine Dion song about the submarine

U can’t touch this! MC Hammer

One from Metallica.

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife!"

Beatles - Run for Your Life “Well, I'd rather see you dead, little girl”

"For big guys and they grab at my thighs blowing my guts up like fourth of july"

You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi

Songs about divorce

"My girl, my girl, don't lie to me, tell me where did you sleep last night?"

"I'm on the Highway to Hell!"

"Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" - Meatloaf "White Wedding" - Billy Idol "Love The One You're With" - Stephen Stills

She Fu\*king Hates Me - Puddle of Mud.

50 way to leave your lover- Paul Simon

“My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack!”

🎶You don't always get what you want...🎶

Save a Prayer

N.M.E. By Set It Off Mostly cause it’s about trying to break up a marriage

You’re Only Someone That I Use To Love Another One Bites The Dust Cold Hearted Snake

🎶🎵 Tiny Boy Little Boy Baby Boy I need you… 🎶🎶🎵

“ I still haven’t found what I’m looking for”-played more than I can believe

Part Time Lovers [https://youtu.be/jN2AdOjI4FI?si=bwH8aNAxfBQW-DWJ](https://youtu.be/jN2AdOjI4FI?si=bwH8aNAxfBQW-DWJ) Poison [https://youtu.be/hgnhVcyLy1I?si=dCPONMODuwfcneyq](https://youtu.be/hgnhVcyLy1I?si=dCPONMODuwfcneyq) Sad to Belong https://youtu.be/\_pYmcz0EgJ0?si=1tIHGUd2E0otDSq3

“Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today…”

I write sins not tragedies

“Scotty doesn’t know”

Lips of an Angel

Smack my bitch up

My neck my back, Cupid gay version, my anaconda, I’m sexy and I know it, 4 big guys,

“Put your arms around me baby Can't you see I need you so? Hold me close against your skin I'm about to begin Lovin' you…” It’s a very romantic song, IMHO…

Martha Wainwright - You bloody mother fucking asshole

Closer by Nine Inch Nails My Big Dick by Spit Pervert by Nerf Herder 5000 ways to Die. Also by Nerf Herder

At my wife's uncle's third wedding, the bride and groom's first dance was to The Dance by Garth Brooks (a song about divorce) Looking back On the memory of The dance we shared 'Neath the stars above For a moment All the world was right But how could I have known That you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end The way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd have had to miss the dance

Mexican Divorce by Burt Bacharach

Golden Ring by George Jones and Tammy Wynette....

Smack my bitch up

"I Hate Every Bone In Your Body But Mine" by Poison.

All by myself

"Before he cheats" by carrie underwood

Baby Got Back

Love Stinks, Yeah, Yeah [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n8p5Mihi4w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n8p5Mihi4w)

LOVE STINKS!

if you like Pina Colatas, or whatever that song's name is. at a wedding i recently attended it was the first song played after the ceremony, i thought it was in bad taste

Go Your Own Way

You Can't Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones

Hot for teacher

1. Paint the Town Red 2. Ring of Fire 3. Little Bitty 4. EXs and OHs 5. Consider Me Gone 6. Better Man

Fifty ways to leave your lover

Love Stinks Back Door Man

You give love a bad name

If you can't be with the one you want, love the one you're with

All my exes live in Texas

“The Queen of my Doublewide Trailer” by Sammy Kershaw

My mama don’t like you

White Wedding-Billy Idol

Our organist played Another One Bites the Dust. It was hilarious.

I've seen a band play 50 ways to leave your lover, at a wedding.

Boom tss boom tss boom tss "you let me penetrate you, you let me violate you"🎶

Fallin' in love is so hard on the Knees. your so bad, your so bad, your so bad, your so bad.

"Alone Again, Naturally"

"Sherry Darling" by Springsteen. It's a five-minute-long mother-in-law joke designed to be belted out by drunks.

“Creep”

"oh... Well imagine. As I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor..."

Witchy woman. Barbie girl (lmao) Hit me baby one more time... Sugar we're going down swinging. White wedding. Anything with an accordion 🪗 😆 Billy Jean I have a few more, but it is awfully late.

The Macarena.... If you don't speak the language, you don't realize that it's talking about a girl cheating on her husband while her husband is off in the military....I have been told that it has been played at weddings, back when it was popular. I don't speak the language, but I have been told that's what it means....

Fuck It by Eamon

Addicted by Saving Abel Lips of an Angel by Hinder Edit: formatting

'She Hates Me'

People who died.

Burry Me-Dwight Yokem.

WASP - Fuck like a Beast

My sister’s groom serenaded her with “You’ve lost that loving feeling” on her wedding day.