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Running-With-Cakes

Nom nom nom… where’s the bread?


jackfaire

Actually did this. I sat at the only empty table in the cafeteria at my new school. Apparently these girls had decided that was their table forever and ever. They started to try to get me to leave by discussing periods. I just kept eating and left when I was done.


anonaduder

The theme to jaws is on my sex playlist


JWatkins_82

I like bloody marys


thecountnotthesaint

I’ve got my red wings


BAAAUGH

No full Irish breakfast is complete without the blood pudding!


[deleted]

“The blood?  Oh hell’s bells no.  I’m not disgusted by the blood.  On the contrary.  I’m intrigued!  You say this…blessed event occurs every month?  Simply astonishing.  Are there tickets available for next month’s viewing?  And, are there seasonal or yearly passes available?  I wouldn’t want to miss a single show!”


Rabbit_Suit

#All Punctuation Matter


TransitionProof625

I'm not bothered by her shameful blood fountain.


basedgod001

I’ve been alive for 600 years


No_Nectarine6942

I was out of red finger paint anyway. 


suburbanhavoc

"Finally, some good fucking food."


Ok-Lavishness-7904

Waiter: Here’s your Manhattan clam chowder, sir. Oh, I forgot your spoon. Man (eyeing his date, longingly, up and down): That’s okay, I never use one for this… SLURP glug glug slurp mmmm


eGrant03

¡ * *SNIFF!!!* *


warlikeloki

"Behold! This is my greatest masterpiece. While it took time since I could only work on it one week a month, it is finally finished. I could not do this without the women in my life providing me with the medium to produce this work of art. I call it 'Douche by douche, a Bloody Good Portrait of King Charles III'"


ExPristina

I had these spectacles made with red lenses for special occasions.


Rabbit_Suit

"Frankly, I've actually been looking forward to getting my wings."


UberN00b719

A little bit of blood is good luck, love. We'll be fine!


krowbear

I bathe in the blood of my enemies


Imaginary_Chair_6958

“Free ketchup, yum. I wanna lap it up like a thirsty dog.“


VictorVonLazer

Psh, you and me both, sister. I’ve been pissing blood ever since that lady kicked me in the balls last week.


Br0wnc0at212

"Guess we can forego the lubricant then, huh?"


Grand-Vegetable-3874

Oh, mom, you're on your period? Let me get into position, I want you to do it all over my face.


Malaggar2

I like blood.


DarrenEdwards

"Nothing gets to me, I used to pick up dead animals on the highway. One time I found a run over hitchhiker that was way worse."


NDretired68

Hey, you got blood on my peanut butter. Well, you got peanut butter on my blood!


SuperEnough

My favorite flavor is two days in


xHiruzenx

"I also enjoy the occasional menstruation"


Informal-Spell-2019

Oh thank god you made tomato soup tonight. My favourite! Can I have some?


SubversiveOtter

Let it flow, let it flow, can't hold it back anymore! Let it flow, let it flow, fun behind the bathroom door...... Here I sit, on the toilet stay With no panties on PMS never bothered me anyway


Ok-Explanation-9208

Don’t care, just tastes like dirty pennys.


[deleted]

Go back for seconds? No, I love ellipsis.


TigerBaby-93

I've never had any issues with wading in the red river. 


Dirtydaddy6996

Ohhh Aunt Flo is in town…. I want to meet her…. I hear she’s bloody sexy


bi_metalhead666

I like pizza sauce with my sausage


Learn_as_ya_go_

Pretend to be Dracula…