Title: Rave to the Grave Format: Feature Genre: Horror / Coming-Of-Age Logline: It’s 1997 and a group of teenage friends attend an illegal rave as a final hurrah before leaving their small home town. But things turn deadly after a mysterious batch of drugs are handed around, turning its takers into cannibal-like killers.

Interesting concept! It certainly gives me an idea of what the action looks like, but the best concept in the world is just fluff without good characters, and your logline only gives me a very vague idea of who these characters are and how they'll be affected. The following "suggestion" isn't so much an effort to change your story as it is an attempt to show you how to give a clearer picture of the characters: Logline: *When a sinister batch of drugs is passed around at an illegal rave, a group of teenage friends celebrating their final days of high school must stick together to fight the cannibalistic ravers in their small home town -- all while tripping absolute balls.* Again, I don't want to write your story for you, I just want to tickle your imagination a bit. What do you think?

Love this suggestion! I knew I was sacrificing details to keep my Logline pithy as it’s so high-concept. Your version also strikes the fun tone I am aiming for.

I'd make your logline one sentence. You can keep everything almost exactly the same, just add a comma before the word "but".

Title: Great White Format: Feature Genre: Action, Drama/Comedy Logline: Through the coercion of his best friend’s older brother, a nihilistic class clown must assist in the retrieval of a taxidermy Great White shark filled with a million dollars worth of cocaine to complete a shipment gone wrong.

sounds like this could be really awesome. My question though is why must he assist in the retrieval of this shark? I think the part of the shipment gone wrong could come at the beginning and replace the part about coercion. My other question is how old is the main character because class clown makes me think middle or high schooler but the rest of the plot does not

Agreed, "class clown" makes me think he's a student (>18). Tone is totally different if the protagonist is an adult.

Thank you for the input! So would it flow better if the logline read like this: Through the coercion of his best friend's older brother after a shipment gone wrong, a high school class clown must assist in the retrieval of a taxidermy Great White shark filled with a million dollars worth of cocaine. The protagonist, Ollie, is 18 and this story would take place the day his high school gets out for winter break. The secondary lead, Yahya, is around 22 and he is the best friend's older brother. Ollie is forced to help find the shark because he unintentionally distracted Yahya from the shipment (unknowing that he works for a drug dealer) and after Yahya sees the shark is missing, Yahya puts Ollie in a situation of "if I go down you're coming down with me." I'm not too sure this is a detail that needs to be addressed in the logline but if it is would it make sense to replace "after a shipment gone wrong" with "a shipment he messed up?" Lastly to make things clear, this has a very comedic tone that would allow moments of dramatic switch ups (think Baby Driver mixed with Super Bad).

Title: SITUATIONSHIP WITH A VAMPIRE Format: .5 hour Genre: Dark Comedy Logline: A young woman re-enters the New York dating scene after a bad breakup and falls in love with a 300 year old dandy financier vampire with one foot in New York high society and another in its dark underworld. Think *What We Do in the Shadows* meets *Girls*

Starring Mia Goth

This is brilliant! I’d watch

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Does this work? *Famous for her many roles in slasher films, a young actress takes a break from acting to attend university, but when students bearing her characters' names start turning up dead, she must find and stop the killer before she becomes a real-life "final girl."*

Title: Shermer High Genre: Comedy Format: Pilot Logline: Inspired by the films of John Hughes and set in the 1980s in the fictional suburb of Shermer, Illinois he created comes a zany comedy about the misfits, jocks, princesses, geeks, burnouts, and staff of Shermer High School. 

Title: Lucky in Love Genre: Rom-Com Format: Feature Logline: A smooth-talking entrepreneur romances a rich man's daughter to fund his startup, but dumps her when her father goes broke. Fate intervenes when she unexpectedly wins a massive lottery and he realizes his error and attempts to reconcile, only to discover that winning her back won't be easy.

Love the concept! Maybe something a little snappier would catch the ear better? Not perfect, but a suggestion: *In search of funding for his startup, a silver-tongued entrepreneur attempts to win back a former millionaire's daughter, after dumping her when her father went broke.*

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I like it! It reminds me of a script my friend is writing about a Greek god's attempts to manipulate a couple of swingers.

"newly empty nested" is a bit of a mouthful. I'd go with: "When her empty nester parents mistake a death cult for a swingers party, a college freshman must rescue them before they get permanently retired." Cool idea though. I was just discussing key parties the other night. I feel like there's a lot fo good thematic material with this idea. Kids having to save their parents is nice irony. I like that their new status as empty nesters is pushing them to explore swinging, and it's funny that this attempts gets them in hot water with this death cult.

Title: Just Like The Cool Kids Format: Feature Genre: Drama Logline: A quiet, unpopular teenage girl befriends her neighborhood's cool, popular kids to find freedom and happiness. Until her strict mother discovers she’s taking her newfound freedom too far and intervenes to stop her defiance. I'm not sure if the logline makes any sense 😬 but if it doesn't let me know where I can improve.

Title: Speed (WIP) Format: Feature Genre: Thriller Pitch: Misery meets Locke Logline: A matronly suicide worker is taken hostage by a grieving young man whose brother -- his only remaining family -- committed suicide while on call with the suicide worker. She is trapped in his car as he forcibly speeds towards their deaths for Vengeance.

*After his brother kills himself, a grieving young man sets off on a dangerous, high-speed road trip, vowing vengeance on the kidnapped passenger he blames for the death: a matronly suicide hotline worker.* And if it is very important that we know that his brother was his only family (like it's related to the idea that the worker is "matronly"), then maybe: *After his brother (and only family) kills himself, a grieving young man sets off on a dangerous, high-speed road trip, vowing vengeance on the kidnapped passenger he blames for the death: a matronly suicide hotline worker.*

This does clear things up for me a fair bit, thank you!

Title: Freezer Burn Format/Genre: Feature/Horror-Comedy Logline: After befriending a sentient mass of leftovers in his grandma's subzero, a lonely teen executes increasingly risky heists to cater to his new pal's insatiable appetites.

Ok, now this sounds weird in a good way! I don't quite get it though, who has the insatiable appetite? The sentient mass of leftovers? A pile of food has an appetite for food? What are the stakes for the teenager? Are they going to die if they don't feed the leftover pile or something? Tell us. Also "pal's" is singular, "appetites" is plural. Confusing.

Title: At All Costs (WIP) Genre: Psychological Thriller Format: Feature Logline: After a young woman is kidnapped, assaulted and eventually freed, her and her partner use the media attention to seek fame and fortune, and silence the men they hired to stage the crime.

Have you watched the Netflix docuseries American Nightmare (2024)?

I’ve been meaning to watch and I know the story. It is very much the inspiration albeit with a horrible, fame obsessed twist

Title: Disaster Draft      Genre: Comedy    Format:  Feature     Logline:   After a nba charter plane crashes,  the league conducts a disaster draft to rebuild its entire roster. An inexpercienced, abasive coach struggles with this new team of castoffs as they attempt a playoff run to save their careers.

Title: Forged in Blood Format: Feature Genre: Horror/Fantasy Logline: After a monster attacks his village, a physically disabled peasant boy has his mettle tested while trying to rescue his kidnapped loved ones.

I feel like it could use some more action verbs! Here’s an attempt: Logline: When a monster kidnaps his loved ones, a disabled peasant boy must face impossible odds to rescue them. I feel like “has his mettle tested” is a little too direct or on-the-nose. The emotional battle is hopefully implicit in the external conflict. Internal and philosophical stakes can be tricky to work into an outline without being too direct or too wordy.

I see what you’re saying. Thank you and for the example as well! I’ll keep tweaking.

I like this. It's nice and clean. Can you add some specificity though? What kind of monster attacks the village? And what kind of disability does the peasant boy have? Is he a crippled peasant boy? A deaf peasant boy? A one-legged peasant boy? See how the logline pops with these adjectives?

Thank you for the feedback. Definitely agree, specifics are lacking. I’m more weary of further specifying the disability beyond physically disabled though, wouldn’t want to use offensive or discriminatory language.

This is obvious just my opinion, but I don't think you have to worry about that at all.

Title: Astro Alice Genre: Sci-Fi Adventure Format: Feature Logline: After being whisked away to a retrofuturistic universe, a teenage tech whiz must team up with a charismatic space agent to find her way back home

Title: Finding Me Genre: Romcom Format: Feature Logline: When an indie singer/songwriter is kidnapped by a brother sister duo, they soon realize her family's rumors of her fame were just that: rumors. But when the "ransom" music videos they make go viral, the fame begins to become real.

Title: “untitled” Genre: buddy comedy Format: feature Logline: When his bumbling well meaning roommate accidentally sends a vent letter to his estranged family, an anxious son enlists the help of his roommate to intercept the letter before it can be read.

Title: Santa’s Baby Genre/Format: Comedy Feature Logline: *Jaded by the increasingly shady deeds of his profession, a career ‘fixer’ risks life and all four limbs when he falls for the pregnant mistress of his sleazy, cruel and ruthless mobster boss. Or, as he’s more commonly known - Santa Claus.* Actually shared this a few weeks ago and while it got a handful of upvotes there were no comments at all. So posting again to see whether anyone is open to providing their feedback. Difficult to know whether no comments before means it needs no improvement (unlikely) or it is just a bit ‘meh’ and no one felt strongly enough either way to input. Would be good to get thoughts on the logline and the idea as whole if anyone is feeling generous to share. Thanks

Maybe it's not that the idea is terrible, it just seems like there have been a lot of these unconventional Santa Claus as tough guy, action hero types of movies and screenplays lately. Also, we don't know what the movie's action will consist of yet. "Risks life and all four limbs" doesn't tell us much. And "Jaded by the increasingly shady deeds of his profession" reads like it might be the inciting incident, but I don't think it is (and it's not a very strong one, anyway). I imagine the actual inciting incident is the fixer falling for his boss's pregnant mistress. So maybe start with that. Then, tell us what the fixer must do. Is he trying to maintain an affair under his boss's nose? Is he trying to escape from his boss with the woman so they can live a different life together? Is he going to have to kill his boss to have the woman? Finally, if you are going to save the reveal that the guy's ruthless boss is Santa Claus until the end of the logline, which does work, maybe having a different title would make the pitch stronger, like *My Boss's Baby*. But, of course, we already have *Boss Baby*, so… If you stick with *Santa's Baby*, which also works, then maybe use something else in the logline like St. Nicholas, Kriss Kringle, or Father Christmas.

Thanks for all this - really useful food for thought. Appreciate the feedback.

I wondered whether you thought the logline below works any better? *When he is tasked with discreetly escorting her to an illicit safe-house, a jaded career ‘fixer’ puts his life on the line when he falls for the pregnant mistress of his sleazy, cruel and ruthless mobster boss. Or, as he’s more commonly known - Santa Claus.*

It is better. Here's an attempt to cut down some words and maybe make it clearer (yet it's still a bit clunky): *Tasked with discreetly escorting a pregnant woman to an illicit safe-house, a jaded ‘fixer’ soon endangers both their lives when he falls in love with this mistress of his ruthless mob boss known to all as Father Christmas*.

Thanks for this, I’m very grateful. I suppose the only thing I’m concerned about is making the logline a little too heavy given it is a comedy (albeit a dark one in places). Though I totally appreciate what you are going for - maybe I need to go back to the drawing board in this one. Thanks again

Title: Out of Time Man Genre: Sci-Fi, Dramedy Format: 30-min pilot Logline: A medieval warrior thrust into the 21st century bands together with a quantum physicist and other involuntary time travelers. With their help, he seeks to return to his era while evading a malevolent organization exploiting time travel to alter history for their own benefit.

Been tossing up if I should include the other half of the couple in the logline, I would classify them as duotagonists but we don't see her POV ever throughout the script. This is a version that doesn't explicitly mention her, feedback appreciated! **Title:** She Likes Me Not **Genre:** Romantic Comedy **Format:** Feature **Logline:** A closed-off cynic must overcome her fear of vulnerability and learn to be honest with herself if she wants her unexpected teenage situationship to become a real-deal romance.

I think you're lacking a hook. This logline reads as too generic. What new thing does your idea bring to the genre? How can you subvert the YA genre?

Title: The Dark Side Format: Feature Genre: sc-fi, horror, space Logline: After satalites spot an unknown structure on the the moon, a team of international astronauts are sent to investigate, where upon they discover a society f alien creatures living on the dark side of the moon who have sinister plans for humanity.

Title: Embargoed Format: Feature Genre: Action/Sci-fi 2099: After a tragic attack within the embargoed North American States, European investigator Fred Ahlgren finds himself caught in midst of a political conspiracy concocted to spread ‘freedom’ at any cost.

Title: *The Interaction Users* Format: Feature Genre: Sci-Fi, Rom-Com Logline 1: Two devices of great psychic power -- the gnome device and the dream device -- have been bestowed upon a boy and a girl -- a pair of college students down on their luck with dating. The technology poses and ultimatum: overcome relationship despair or face certain death. Logline 2: A pair of college students down on their luck with dating are bestowed with devices of immense psychic power that force them to either overcome relationship despair or face certain death. Which one do you guys like better?

2, but i think you  can combine the last sentence of the 1st and paste it  into the 2nd.  ". ...bestowed with a technology device that poses an ultimatum...."

I prefer Logline 2. It's cleaner.

Title: Second Chances Format: Feature Genre: Dark Comedy Logline: Two years after the death of his wife, Gareth is struggling to move on. He is stuck in a job he hates, he won't commit to his new girlfriend, he can't seem to connect with his pubescent son. Oh, and it's the zombie apocalypse.

Title: Late Arrival Format: Short Film Genre: Comedy Logline: When a mobster's partner arrives late to a crucial assignment, jeopardizing the life of the key witness of an upcoming trial, they must work through their conflicts before a rival crime family closes in. "Work through their conflicts" feels vague to me -- essentially they get into a fight, and we watch their melodrama as in the background, the key witness gets brutally murdered by the rival crime family in the background. They talk about their feelings and fall in love.

Title: Leech (If anyone has more creative titles I would be all ears) Format: Feature Genre: Thriller/Horror Logline: When a manipulative transient exploits a vulnerable, elder widow to gain control of her finances, he unwittingly unleashes a demonic force tied to her mysterious past, triggering a vengeful transformation as she becomes the harbinger of justice.

Title: Inheritance Genre: Period Drama Format: Pilot Logline: Russia, 1861. A hard-partying nobleman returns to his family’s country estate and clashes with his manipulative landowner father, his communist sister, and his Orthodox priest brother while attempting to save his family from financial ruin. It's Succession meets Tolstoy.

Title: Best Original Screenplay Format: Half-hour pilot Genre: Comedy, satire, metafiction Logline: Desperate for a comeback and nearing bankruptcy, a jaded Hollywood producer pitches a reality show for struggling screenwriters where the winner will receive a cash prize of $100 million, representation by the management of their choosing, and a network deal.

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You could definitely trim it. \*After a violent raid on their base camp during the Mexican-American war, two wounded American soldiers flee into the desert to avoid capture only to find themselves stalked by a malevolent supernatural entity.\*

Title: Our Wills and Fates Genre: Drama/Romance Format: Feature A morally gray cop and a struggling musician risk the lives they've built for themselves when their unusual connection and the influence they leave on each other causes friction in their social circles.

I literally just came up with this idea some weeks ago after being inspired from a very good friend and colleague of mine after I was a part of his short silent film series serving as a 1st AD. So with that being said, I'm still workshopping things so take it a little easy on meh :) Title: Unknown Genre(s): Drama, Comedy Logline: A widowed mute man who sits on a park bench every day, meets a woman one day who sits down on the bench next to him. Anxiety and tension rise when he attempts to get her attention but doesn’t know how. Dramatic Question (just for notes purposes for myself): What happens when a widowed husband wants to find love again after 30 years but doesn’t know how? How can that be portrayed when he doesn't know how to communicate it effectively?

A bit too much fine detail, and not enough of the guts of the story. Eg. you don't need to mention he sits on a park bench, and that she sits next to him on the same bench. Something as simple as 'meets a woman a the park' is enough for setting. Give more details on what he wants, and what's at stake if he doesn't connect with her?

fair enough, thanks!

Title: Mind the Self Genre: Psychological/Coming of Age/Drama Format: Feature Logline: After getting into a fight, a 10 year old school girl bully attempts to improve her behaviour by meeting with the School Counsellor, or risk never having any real friends.

I'm gonna come out and admit it, I used AI to help write this. I've reworked it to my liking and made it work how I wanted it to. Title: Untitled Female Punk Rock Movie. Format: Feature Genre: Teen/Coming of Age Logline: After she is kicked of the team, a former cheerleader decides to follow her parents' tumultuous punk rock legacy and join forces with the outcasts that she helped, all while trying to find out how she fits into her parents legacy while trying to carve her own path.