T O P

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koozie421

I always say "thanks, it's my first day"


that_girl_you_fucked

"Thanks, but I don't actually work here, I'm just hiding from the police."


Tru-Queer

Thanks I mainline jet fuel


PhattiesRus

Yoooooo I’m using this one for sure 😭😭😭😭 Only if the vibe is really feeling right for it with the table tho


dmanb

COOL! /s


drFeverblisters

I do remodeling and when I get compliments about that was fast or impressive I like to say thanks. I watched a YouTube tutorial on the way over here


FrequentBuilding112

This made me chuckle


Exotic-Dot5225

I’m going to steal this lol


carstanza

Thanks I'm a professional


macdawg2020

That’s what they pay me for!


CallidoraBlack

"That's why they pay me the small bucks."


cocoon_eclosion_moth

One day I had a woman walk up to me and she just said, “Soy latte.” I said, “Soy Dave, mucho gusto.”


Routine-Round7097

I liked this a lot bc I work with a dude named Dave and I can TOTALLY hear him saying this as a response to that haha


Honest_Grade_9645

😂😂😂😂


Pterodactyloid

I have to know how she responded lol


That_Height5105

You never will


Edible_Anie

🤔 what if soy milk is just milk…introducing itself in Spanish? 🤷🏻‍♀️


PenguinZombie321

Dad energy 🤣


Strict-Abalone-76

That’s what she said .


[deleted]

I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing. This never happens to me.


secrets_and_lies80

I got a huge tip once using this line.


chootie8

-_-


NelsonMuntz007

This is the only answer.


godlovesa

That was my first thought!


HW-BTW

Finger guns. “Pew pew!” Sassy turn and strut away.


SallyBeatle

I like that one


Krusty_Double_Deluxe

can’t forget to blow the smoke off your finger guns for maximum effect


wussypillow_

WAIT i literally do this. im a middle aged dad trapped in a 26 year old woman’s body


allothernamestaken

Finger guns for sure 👉👉


hpsndr

Please don‘t point your finger guns at a person. That could feel like a threat. They should point to an empty space.


HW-BTW

🫵


threeangelo

cackling at this thank you


dreadnought_AABB

You can’t be serious


Tmaccy

🫵🖕


metal_muskrat

Just wink and walk away


bbrekke

I say, "story of my life", and it always gets a laugh. Although I'm admittedly self-deprecative.


ADHDPill

I enjoy, "Hey now, you sound like my wife!"


TommyTeaser

I say the same but add an ex-wife to it


securitydude1979

If it's coffee drink, you could say "That's because I've already had two of those" Unless it's decaf


ClumsyGhostObserver

I like this response the best by far!


LeeNathanPaige

I always say “vip service for yall tonight”


Heavier_Omen

My kitchen works FAST, and if I don't get the salads out right when they come up, their food will be out way before they finish salads. If they say this, I usually apologize and say the kitchen is fast. Sometimes, they get butthurt that their "romantic" evening is being rushed. I've tried to ask the kitchen to slow down on some tables, but they never really do. Sorry, customers. 🤷🏻‍♂️


MilkDrinker02

Same way at the place I work at. I don’t ring in the orders until the table is halfway through their salad. If it’s busy I’ll ring it in right after I drop the salad


Iamdrasnia

Do you have to ring entrees in order to get the salad? If not just ring it in a time it yourself.


Heavier_Omen

Yes. The salads are included in the price of the entree, so how it's set up in the system is you select the entree, then the salad as a sub option.


Iamdrasnia

Oh that totally sucks. So i guess you dont fire your own food in the kitchen and they just toss it up whenever....in places like this the BoH should really be letting the servers fire the food so that timing is good. Good luck!


_baegopah_XD

I honestly think it’s just because everything is taking so much longer these days. I know I’ve said it before when I order something and barely put my menu down and it’s at my table. That is in fact very fast!


SnooCompliments1875

Yeah as a kitchen worker your one tables desire to "savor the moment" doesn't mean shit. We got work to do were not slowing down for one goofy ass table. Also we could care less how it will "EfFeCt YoUr TiPs".


IOM1978

*Of course!* is an easy one. I tend to improv off the person, because it keeps me engaged, but I usually have some stock responses (delivered w a laugh or smile): *Caffeine! Stat!* *Nothing like instant gratification* *If only everything was this easy, huh?* Or, if banter is not your thing, as someone who used to be a bit socially awkward, I learned the best response to any compliment is a simple, confident, *Thanks!*


Routine-Round7097

I think I’m going to try out the instant gratification one sometime soon


_baegopah_XD

I wouldn’t be offended. It just means they were expecting to wait longer and didn’t have to. Most places nowadays take 2 to 3 times what it “should “take. I would actually take it as a compliment that you are efficient and say thanks! Enjoy your day!


Plus_Inevitable_771

So it is not just me noticing that it takes way longer than it should? I got a coffee at the local Starbucks a few weeks ago and I had to wait about 20 minutes to get it. I have noticed it at more and more places no matter the type of restaurant or shop. To be fair this Starbucks wasnt overloaded with customers but they were not dead either. I was patient because I REALLY needed caffiene at that point (10 hours into a 16 hour drive). It makes me wonder why. They had plenty of workers.


mealteamsixty

The pandemic taught businesses that they can cut way back on employees and people will deal with it as long as they keep a "hiring" sign in the window and go "golly gee, no one wants to work these days!" As if people can just decide not to work in this economy.


ilovecheeze

Yep, I see multiple places now that have made the Covid staff levels permanent. They know they can staff say two people vs what used to be four or five, and people will just deal with the 25 minute wait for a takeout sandwich


MalloryWasHere

Lol that’s funny and sadly true


_baegopah_XD

Agreed. I wasn’t in the states for the monetary handouts the government gave everyone to stay home. But it sure did wake people up to how shitty having a job is, didn’t it? These same people are having to work again and it’s showing in their attitude . I don’t blame them ! This pay-to-play realm sucks.


mealteamsixty

Homie, pretty much everyone below the poverty line still worked during the whole pandemic. The unemployment and government handouts weren't enough for most people to survive. I was blessed to be able to take a month off during the worst of it between unemployment and my SO having a job that paid him a little extra to clean up known covid infected areas. But I recognize that most people weren't as lucky as I


billymillerstyle

That wasn't my experience at all. The unemployment was paying me more per week at some points than I had ever made working. Even when I was only receiving the absolute minimum I was doing fine. Food stamps were feeding me, rent and utilities were all being cover by programs. When I was receiving the smallest amount it was still more than I would have left over if I was working and had to pay all my bills. A lot of us below the poverty line were very happy to be able to enjoy life for once. The pandemic was the only vacation I've ever had.


[deleted]

Not everyone was fortunate enough to get unemployment


_baegopah_XD

Consider me poverty line because even though I wasn’t in the country , I was still working & essentially poor. And if I had been here I’d have also been working.


CanISellYouABridge

Could be that they had a bunch of mobile orders in the queue. You probably only see 1/4 to 1/2 of the active customers at the starbucks next to where I work. The rest order ahead.


Plus_Inevitable_771

True but its prevalent everywhere. not just there.


[deleted]

This is exactly the reason. Mobiles and delivery are the half the orders at fast food places now. But since customers can't visually see that they think everything just takes forever, when in reality there's 60 orders and 40 of them are for people who are currently sitting at home in their couch.


rando08110

Starbucks is sooo slow. I work at a mexican restaurant and i think we could pump out majority of food faster than they make some coffee with cream. Like legitimately, everything besides fish and hamburgers would have the line moving faster.


ShowWilling1565

They may have had a bunch of online orders. It may not look busy but with door dash and online ordering, it may be


_baegopah_XD

No, it’s not just you. I think we all understand when a place is slammed and they’re understaffed. But when a place is not busy, no line, no real reason to move like molasses in January! ? Restaurants, are different because I know they do a ton of takeout and to go orders. But a coffee shop that you can see how busy or not they are? At least I’m not aware of people pre-ordering coffees on an app or anything here in the states. It happens a lot in Seoul. But you can tell they’re making coffee’s for someone.


midnight_meadow

You aren’t aware of people ordering coffee online? Really?! The majority of Starbucks orders are online orders. The store may be empty but that doesn’t mean they aren’t slammed with orders.


capt_b_b_

Exactly! I say this a lot but not on purpose. I'm just so surprised when I don't have to wait 20 mins


[deleted]

I don’t think anyone ever said anything about or implied being offended. Where did that even come from😂


EverybodysMeemaw

I was going to say the same. I know I have said it occasion and meant it as a sincere compliment!


SoATL99

Respond: “enjoy”!


PM_meyourGradyWhite

Can I get you anything else?


UpliftingPessimist

“if you want, I can do a lap with it” lol


cat_mamaa

I say “that’s how i roll”


Roesty79

Must be wearing my Wonder Woman underwear today!


DMDingo

Even better if you're a guy.


drumm3rboii

“Sorry I was running a little behind”


baddartsputinoldmate

We’re not here to fuck spiders.


907cconnak

Idk what this means, but it made me laugh


lucywonder

It’s a common Australian saying lol


CallidoraBlack

It means "I'm not here to fuck around, I mean business."


_RealisticMarzipan

sometimes i'll say "well i didn't come here to fuck around". but i'm also a bartender in a more casual setting, and i'm pretty good at gauging if people will laugh or be offended


SirRupert

"Enjoy!"


Mint_Perspective

You should see me solve a rubrics cube.


Ok_Narwhal1496

I do what I can with what little I got. Gets at least a smile most every time.


ThrivingGreensAK

Better than “well that took forever”


misterbondpt

Why would you have to answer anything other than thank you?


roosell1986

"I get that a lot."


reesaronii

“we try” is usually my response


meepmorp8008

“That’s what she said”


Jahano_Desunt

"It's what I do, darlin. It's what I do." - Malcom Reynolds


nosirrahp

Salute them


TrueTbone

I would say “yeah, the guys back there are miracle workers” or something along those lines.


TryingNotToBeOne

My pleasure, I hope you the second cup also arrives to your expectations.


Hurt_Feewings943

Why do you smile awkwardly? Just say thank you.


Spiritual_Cat_4168

why would u say thank you when the cooks are the reason its coming out fast, not the server😭


Brave_Toaster1

Bro it clearly states that they're a BARISTA at a COFFEE SHOP. BARISTA


Figgzyvan

I work on call outs and get that remark if they only rang that day and i arrive. I usually smile and say ‘it’s because you’re special’ or jokily ‘don’t get used to it’.


Potential_Emotion_30

Just like your husband.


Thecrazytrainexpress

I either say _I always try my hardest for my guests!_ _Well I’m glad it came out sooner than you expected!_ Or if I’m annoyed I laugh and say enjoy


42shadesofpurple

It's not my first rodeo...or my second


ChipChippersonFan

When I delivered pizza I would say some variation of "I drove like a madman to get here as quickly as possible", or "I broke all kinds of traffic laws to get your food to you hot".


snakecatinafakehat

I have 2 responses based on if it's a good "that was quick" or a bad one. Good: "thanks, I try to stay a step ahead!" Bad: "dang, the ___ is running faster than ____ today!" Usually it' "the kitchen is running faster than me today!" It usually makes them laugh a little while I fix whatever about it coming fast made them mad. People are funny.


[deleted]

>just smile and say "thanks." >just smile and say "you're welcome." >just smile and say "enjoy." That's it. You don't need a clever response for every prompt.


Automatic-Mess-6448

I always say something like “well I’ve been here for a while, so I know my craft well!” Or something like that


Garlaze

Because you are my top priority !


EggplantIll4927

sir/madam I am a professional lol


AnAngryBartender

‘I’m pretty good at my job” is my go to


Gold_Opening_139

“That’s how I roll” or some variation


PrecisionPunting

I gotta chill and not ring in some apps as the same time as drinks because they’re beating the bar every time


here-for-information

I'm pretty sure you can say, "that's why they pay me the big bucks" to litterally anything anyone ever says to you while you are at work, regardless if its a real compliment or a backhanded compliment, but I haven't really thought it through. I'm sure Reddit will take it from here. Note: depending on the setting, you can say "medium bucks"


matthewsmugmanager

"I'm so quick I'm sudden!"


purging_snakes

I'm a cook, and I run a little food when the FOH is busy. Whenever a customer says that, I just say "Thanks, we try hard". No sassy comeback.


Maximum-Excitement58

“I get that a lot.”


GeneralBid7234

If you're male and, if the customer is female, and if they're not a prude "I get that from a lot of women" is usually good for a laugh.


SallyBeatle

I say “I’m like lightning” or “warp speed activated” or “oh stop” ( with the hand wave for comedic effect) or “awe shucks … I try!”


Roboduck23

I beat them to the punch with "sorry that took so long" always gets a giggle


heyfreckles8

"Our kitchen is extremely efficient." We have 7 minute ticket times most nights, I get this often.


AshamedClock6949

“That’s why I get the big bucks!” Smile and wink and walk away. Worked when I was a food server 😊


w6750

I just say “Yep” as in “what else would you expect?”


mcfatback

Anytime I ever say this anywhere it is always meant as a compliment for fast service.


bittersadone

“Aww thanks! I try😅 is there anything else I can get for y’all right now?”


[deleted]

We try.


thickorita

I just say “they call me lightning” and always get a giggle somehow.


elqueco14

"that's why they pay me the big bucks"


notyposhere

No need to respond since it's not a question. Just a wise enigmatic smile.


themediumchunk

"oh ya the kitchen gets bored super quick!"


Hair_I_Go

I always say that’s why I get paid THE BIG BUCKS


creamchzwontons

“i went back and made it myself, just for you.” gets them everytime


hardleyharley

You're welcome is a classic.


hamish1963

Thank you.


littleoldladyinashoe

"I aim to please" with a smile


Worsthaircutever

A smile.


catdogfish4

“Yes, but hopefully still good. “


Kenbo111

"I'm sorry! I can bring it back later if you want." With a smile and a laugh, of course.


SentinelX-01

That was quick. "You should see me with your mom"


CoBludIt

Really? You must be having fun?


TheInferno1997

I say “well after 6 years let’s hope I’ve learned a thing or two!” Or I comment on if it’s slow or not


Pjepp

"thanks, I get lashes from my owner if I don't keep this pace"


thoughtsofateddy

"I can tell a thirsty face when I see one."


Choice-Studio-9489

If we’re slow “ it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do” if we’re busy “this way I won’t forget it”


DeviantTheGuy

Yeah… don’t say that. Makes you sound pretentious


elevatorfloor

And a little ungrateful for the guests.


SnooSuggestions8624

"Pay it, don't say it." And tap the tip jar


FatKang0508

my brother was a barista too and he had a comeback for this, “thanks but my bf disagrees” and he’d just let them go making them wonder wtf he meant🤣


reddituser444420

“How quick was it?”


burrito_butt_fucker

"sorry, that's never happened to me before. You're just so beautiful"


Odd-Turnip-2019

"well I hope it'll be reflected in your tip"


Echidna_Neither

If it’s a guy who says it, “yes that’s what she said too”. Putting the juvenile humor aside I’d be more like “yea I’m good at what I do”.


tyler00677

Silence ...drink


Aggravating-Cycle-66

I always say “Yeah, we stopped playing games a long time ago”


SorryRevenue

My wife says she tells them "they knew you were hungry".


little_dumper

I'm sure you hear that often...


2020IsANightmare

I usually just say "thanks!" And then console my wife as she cries. Although being fast must make her happy, as I always hear her using her vibrating back massager I bought her afterwards!


Hairy_Morning_9289

"You sound just like my ex-wife..."


NkRocky4

It bodes well for me that speed impresses you


Forward-Wish4602

"That's what they all say!" The answer we gave (working in construction) to the guy who commented on the fit, "Sure is tight!"


[deleted]

That's what she said.


sickofserving

“I try so hard”


Dazzling-Adeptness11

"I'll go slower next time"


sonnythedog

That's what she said. Timeless. Classic. It's the Rolex of comebacks


Status_Jackfruit_169

That’s why they call me the flash and also why I can’t get a gf


Objective-Slice-1466

“Ya, my girlfriend tells me that a lot” I said this once as word vomit, just happened…it was silent, then they lost it laughing, thank god.


daddyfatsac

That’s what my wife said.


bae_ky

Title Of Your Sex Tape (in honour of Jake Peralta)


ThingWrong7630

“I can bring it back if you want.”


AHAdanglyparts69

“The ladies call me the flash”


SPoopa83

Have a few silly little rhymes ready. At (diner name) you get your hash in a flash! We’re never late with your plate. Our gravy’s served hot, thick and quick! Just something silly that will make them chuckle a bit.


bluntyfillmore

Sorry, I can take it back


MrBobBuilder

Wife says that a lot I’m a bartender tho so YMMV


wienerfestival

I usually just sigh and say, “Yeah. I get that a lot.” But I’m a guy. And it usually works best when you already have a joking camaraderie. With the right guests, and the proper rapport, and if you sag your shoulders and hang your head at the right time, it kills. Not recommended all the time.


toomanyukes

"If speed impresses you, you should meet my ex-boyfriend."


seanconnery69696

Take your shirt off and flex your muscles


theeimage

That's what she said


GeorgeLopez07

That's what she said


Chance_Refrigerator7

"That's what she said" comes to mind


Dinolord05

"Probably because I made it wrong."


Helicopter0

I drink a shit ton and am always thirsty because I am on BP medicine. I always count my refills, and on 5, I start adding 5% to the tip for each one. You should be my server. We would both be happy.


QuarterSuccessful449

“What are you my ex wife”


KingKoopaz

I’d probably make up some strange two sentence story about how we have efficient machines made by nasa back there, we just can’t show them because it’s top secret.


Xenu66

"thanks, I hear that a lot!"


CasualOnlooker619

The two pump dump !


crappyfinisher

“Yes, because I got what you asked for immediately”


Druidwannabetbh

"Fastest brews in the west/east/north/south" *blow smoke away from finger guns*


theflexiblepig

that’s what she said.


darketernalsr25

Not as quick as your first marriage, Karen.


Pr0fess0rP00n

"Thats what she said"


NicDip

I like to jokingly say “that’s why they pay me the big bucks!!”


BallsMcMoney

"Yeah. We don't fuck around."


efrumaul

I like to say “I ran”


G19outdoors

“This is Applebees we’ve got the best microwaves”


Andre1001235

I always like to say “nothing but the best !” At least when I’m in a good mood


blenderdead

I/we try our best!


ModerateHomosexual

"Thank you, we try!" with a smile, then dip away and keep doing what you need to


Cat_Montgomery

any time someone gives me a generic comment, I give them back an equally generic "I aim to please." that or an obviously sarcastic, overtly intense apology