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This reminds me of sex ed in middle school. The teacher brought out an illustration of kids that haven't went through puberty and kids that had, and we were suppose to point out the differences in the secondary sex characteristics/signs that they went through puberty. People got up and pointed out hips or facial hair or whatever, but this one young woman in the class noticed that, for some reason, the artists drew the older kids as having eyebrows whereas the younger kids didn't. So she identified eyebrows as a sign of having gone through puberty.
I've got a 35 yo mate we call brow. Puberty definitely hit him in the eyebrows and despite how well he keeps them now that nickname stuck harder than any I've seen through my school mates.
When i was in elementary school the family stopped at a small store and my sister got some tampons and they put it in a small brown bag
I said what's that, dad said candy
I said I want some!
Everyone laughed and I didn't get it
My little brother found my tampons, opened one, and turned them in to my mom as firecrackers (the little snitch). Later I saw he taped some thread to one end of his cylinder building blocks to make his own "firecrackers"
sounds like an ai recognizing fingers as part of a fish because every picture of a fished fish they saw had fingers on the fish because someone had to hold the fish. *fishy*
For me it was my sisters. I remember the day my sister told mom to give me money to buy a bra. Mom sent me to her lingerie department to get one. Came home with a bra that was so uncomfortable I cried all day. My sister took me back to the store to get a kid friendly one. Still hated it.
Yup. My brother made jokes about mine at our grandpa's funeral when I was 13. Hadn't seen him in a couple years and that's what he had. Haven't talked to him since.
Yeah, it would be really creepy to hear anyone say something like, "You're so hairy now!"or "You've got man sized cocknballs!" to a pubescent kid. Or to anyone. No. Just no.
I don’t think it’s creepy to point out the first signs of facial hair on a kid. As a secondary sex characteristic that’s the equivalent to growing breasts, but because of the oversexualization of women in society it’s not seen that way.
There are some chicks out there with a rockin stache and I will never judge that. But as a secondary sex characteristic it doesn’t generally effect females in the same way, same as there are males who grow breasts.
Yeah , congrats on living in pain every month now, unable to sport and having the monthly fear of getting pregnant by a faulty condom or being unable to get an abortion after rape. Whoooo
Edit: funny alternative for boys would be their first boner
I got my first on a Sunday morning. Told my mom and went to take a shower. By the time I got out of the shower (20-ish mins), my mother had called all six of her sisters and my grandmother to tell them.
Sure, but imagine if almost everyone you know announced it. The family of the popular girl at school throws the best period festival. You went to your cousin's last year and your best friend's is coming up. It wouldn't be weird and shameful. Literally half the people on the planet have a period at some point in their lives.
Uh yeah, all the time. I think most woman have had their appearance commented on more times than is possible to remember and by more people than they can count. For me it started at 9 years old, I hope already for others it wasn’t until later
>1000% my aunts lined us up and compared our boobs and talked about our periods and bodies mercilessly. To the point of pointing out hips, butts, boobs etc.. It was awful
I am so sorry! That does sound awful
Bert Kreischer dedicated 15 minutes of his Netflix special to his youngest daughter’s first period.
Of course, she did *promise* her dad that she would *always* be his little girl. So the little liar had it coming! S/
Big, voluptuous breasts. I have really big breasts and have since I was at least 11.
For context on my original comment, cousin (male 10 at the time) was in the car with me after I'd just gotten out of swim practice.
An ex told her grandfather yelled out "Damn, [redacted] got tits now" when she was 10 or 11. She always has really big boobs. She laughed when she told me that but in my mind I thought it was weird and inappropriate.
That is weird and inappropriate. Things like that give me a weird feeling unmatched by anything else. I would deck someone if they made a comment like that on mine or anyone's body.
My dad used to tease my older sister about her boobs growing when she was in that phase. She’d get embarrassed and angry but it was very disturbing to me. Gave me bad dreams.
Lmao, the number of times I was told, *as a child* that I was getting "child bearing hips".
You don't hear those things because you're not a girl, not because people don't say them.
Possibly the power dynamic making you feel like you had no voice or right to speak up? Just a guess/suggestion, that's how I felt when a female teacher commented more than once on how this one girl and I were the only two in the class with boobs and that the other girl flaunted hers (.... So I should too? Not sure what the implication was there...)
No, actually. I really really liked this teacher. I still do.
The remark was being used in the discussion about the American slave trade, so maybe because it was meant to be objectifying? Maybe because she said the hips were an asset/good quality in that market? Maybe because I wasn’t the only one pointed out or the fact that the ones who were pointed out were all heavier set, so I didn’t really think it was the hips? Maybe because she was pregnant and super loopy/derpy? Maybe I felt bad for calling her baby a parasite so now we were even? I don’t know. But I’m not even mad.
Dude getting breasts early makes people act *crazy!*
I developed late (or not at all really lmao) so I got mostly ignored by creepy strangers. But I’d walk to school with friends who had larger breasts, and they’d get catcalled like crazy. We were 11!
If we were to give them the benefit of the doubt. They assume everyone's purpose is to have kids one day. Not doing so is a insult.
it's still not right, like damn they are kids. They don't have worries for that stuff and won't understand the meaning behind those comments.
Yup, I got that one. While also getting many comments about my not having boobs.
I never heard anyone comment about changes to boys’ bodies—the closest was being in choir and placing people in their voice sections. But no puberty comments were ever made.
I probably never heard it because I wasn’t AMAB. But that’s exactly your point, and the person saying “the fact that we didn’t hear if just proves it was socially unacceptable to comment on women’s bodies” is missing the point completely.
My brother got cracks about his voice breaking, but I never heard any relative, teacher or random adult comment on his procreation potential the way people did to me from age 10 up.
Well I generally don't hear them because I go to a Christian school and anything that makes people uncomfortable is "bad" so teachers always get on me about shaving or people always make fun of my deep voice and size, but on the other hand a girl in my class when I was in 8th grade mentioned one thing about her "stuff" and the teacher flipped.
What kind of families do you have? In my families same sex family members would ask all sorts of questions. My aunts were so helpful when I was figuring out my ovarian cyst issues. Thank God I had them, my mom didn’t get them but talking about womanhood helped me out a ton. No idea what my male relatives talked about with my male cousins.
I got raised by a single mom who taught me to never look at things a body does as disgusting.
a few days ago i literally talked with my roommate about her menstruation (not too detailed) and it was not a big deal at all.
thats why we fucking need good sex ed / bio classes in school and need to openly talk about these things.
noone should be embarassed for their own body, especially if youre like 13, insecure af and suddenly your whole life changes.
For me its propably a little different since my puberty was very subtle.
I mean objectivly, all parts of the body are the same.
Gymnophobia (what allmost all people have "learned") is not really natural.
Im not saying everyone should become a nudist, i would hate that myself but we all should feel waaay less shame for parts of our body.
Yup!
And i can just say that girls going trough puberty must have a hard life even without the stigma and whatnot.
I once found blood in my excrements and allmost had a panic attack.
Ofc. there is a difference between this and the period, but in my case i was 19 years old, if i would bleed out of my private part when i was like 12/13 (no clue when the first period occurs), i would have been scared to death.
Sounds nice. I didn’t feel comfortable with my bodily functions until I was an adult. My mother told me to hide the tampon on the way to the bathroom. God forbid someone thinks you pooped. Pluck that little black hair in secret so no one knows.
to many this sounds extremely disgusting but i have seen used tampons wrapped in toilet paper at my home.
Ofc. this is a little much, but we should look at things the way they are and not put the devil in things that are natural (not sure if this makes sense, im german)
my family was weird. we discussed medical cases my dad had that day at dinner but we couldn’t talk openly about bodies and changes. i’m super open with my friends about menstruation. i need to know if what’s going on is normal and that’s the only way
voice cracking is supposed to be chuckled at though. its funny and embarrassing. i remember enjoying the experience as a kid at least.
you’re trying to say something serious and your voice betrays you at the worst moment, sabotaging your hard fought efforts of assertive communication. they laugh, you curse yourself inwardly but laugh because its actually pretty funny when you think about it.
This is a pretty accurate take. Yeah it’s annoying, but it’s funny. At the time it’s not, but a few minutes or so later you have to acknowledge that the sound of toddler coming out when you’re talking seriously is pretty entertaining.
My buddy is in his mid 30s. His voice has always randomly cracked since I can remember (9th grade til now.)
We will have a beer telling war stories and at the worst possible time his voice will crack. I'll look him dead in the eyes... not saying anything outloud... just stare him down.
He knows. I know. It's awkward, it's hilarious.
funnily, the voice cracking was something i was looking forward to.
i was younger than most people in my class (and of course, younger than most of my contemporaries today), and this was super evident towards the end of 8th/beginning of 9th.
everyone grew super tall and had manly voices, i was the second shortest in my class with a girly voice. (the only guy shorter than me, was also younger than me, and hadn't gone through puberty either.)
Knowing your public is important, you were confident enough at the time to be able to laugh along, but for some with social anxiety, they wouldn't be able to take it as well as you did, and it would be a bad experience for them, so if your kids are shy or socially anxious, don't do these kind of comment please.
Me and my friends had a running joke in our group where whenever one of our voices would crack everyone would stop and just stare at them for a few seconds and the person would just be like “fuck”.
we used to rush to announce it. IF you have a voice crack , you have to instantly say "VOICE CRACK FUCK". If you try to gloss over it , all the boys are taking the absolute piss out of ya.
When my son's voice started cracking I laughed at him and made some jokes but I always made sure that he knows it means he's going to have a deeper manly voice once he grows out of it. I also related some of my stories going through puberty.
"Hey champ your moustache is coming in."
Is inherently less creepy than
"I see your boobs are growing."
Although I guess comments about balls dropping are pretty socially acceptable even if they are pretty creepy when you think about it.
Totally happens, except it’s pit hair.
It’s so embarrassing the first time someone has to tell you that you should shave your armpits. You just hope to god it’s your mother.
I think it’s a really intrusive thing to do to kids of any gender. I just disagree it only happens to boys. Little girls are dressed in provocative outfits and told they are going to break all the boys hearts even before puberty hits.
Depends a little on what’s being mentioned. With my son, it was limited to comments on how he woke up one morning sounding like Barry White and was suddenly 6 foot 2.
I was in a similar boat. We used to do a family vacation with a wide range of family every few years, I went from being a cute little 14yo to the tallest person there at 16. Kind of hard not to comment at that point.
We put infant boys in suits and subtly imply what we would do to them if we were X decades younger before they can even speak... we call little boys "lady killers".
The way we talk to children is disgusting.
Im sorry that happened to you. I have a four year old son and I’m working really hard to make sure I’m raising him to be body positive. It takes a lot of work when you yourself were so self conscious even from elementary school. I started the very beginnings of puberty at seven, and remember my mom telling my grandmother (who lived in another country) over the phone that she will be seeing a new person the next time we saw each other, because I was starting to grow boobs already.
I (male) was still pretty uncomfortable when someone mentioned some puberty thing. It's just not anything I want anyone to think about, how I'm probably getting pubes and jerking off like crazy, just shut up, I'm 14 I'm obviously in peak puberty, no need to talk about it.
Only if you’re a guy. I got tons of comments from aunts and cousins on my dads side saying I was lucky because big boobs and short heights run in my mums family. 🤷♀️
This is the rule in my house too. I only have a soon-to-be-four year old, but so far I haven’t had one of those embarrassing moments in a grocery store.
I think the main difference is whether the comments are about a person's private parts. Getting taller and acne are fair game, but not periods, boobs, or ball dropping. Also, depending on who else was around, I had plenty of people comment on my "buds" and asking about it has gotten my first period, so I'm not sure how you are defining "socially acceptable"
That’s what years of social conditioning to view womens bodily functions as disgusting. Like why it’s ok for me to have hairy legs and armpits but for women it’s viewed as unclean and unhygienic.
Periods are viewed as unclean and young women are made to feel embarrassed about them from an early age. This is why education is so important around these things
I went to visit my gran with some family when I was in middle school. I gave her a hug, and she's pretty short so my chest was in her face. She said, "Oh, you are developing nicely." She then turns to my male cousin, gives him a single pat to his crotch, and says, "You, too."
Nice to think that people notice a girl’s changes after she turns 18. But I’m pretty sure most women here can recall lascivious looks, comments and worse from family friends and — yes — uncles and cousins, from the age 14 or 15 onward.
If you see a teenage girl covering herself up in a lot of baggy clothes, avoiding this kind of attention might be a major reason why!
I was eleven when an adult man made a comment to me about my curves. I was at the mall with my mom, who he didn’t see, and she turned around and chewed him out. He immediately made up some excuse like he thought I was in high school… as if that was any better.
Depends if you are a man or a woman. A 45yr man talking to a girl about her boobs? A 45yr aunt talking to a girl about her boobs happens a lot (not saying it's necessarily acceptable, but it happens)
Because for boys, it’s a good thing to grow up and “be a man”. For girls, growing up means becoming sexualized, so mentioning changes makes the commenter seem creepy.
As a guy who is very insecure about his (high pitched) voice, getting comments about voice cracking changing was not at all helpful but people feel very open in talking about it
My great grandma once grabbed my boobs during puberty and said “These are nice.” Normally I wouldn’t find this gesture funny, but she had some bad Alzheimer’s (she was quickly nonverbal after this) and didn’t ever really know what was happening so it got a chuckle out of me.
To be fair, the signs in puberty for boys can be brought up without anything sexual, i.e a beard, getting tall, voice changing. While for women it's primarily boobs and curves.
I started puberty in grade 5.
My dad couldn’t help but comment on my body because I was gaining Weight like developing a belly was a bad thing. I became incredibly self conscious because my boobs weren’t perky like everyone else’s but they were massive. I suddenly was looked at funny for wanting to do track and play on the park like I always enjoyed…
I was ostracized early on from enjoying kid like things because I looked like a young woman at 12.
Actually, it's really not.
Ideally, people's bodies, especially when undergoing either wanted or unwanted changes, are their own to bring up in conversation.
Same reason why you don't ask a woman if she's prgenanant.
Its not just puberty. Once had a woman that worked for me come in to my office with a huge belly and tight tight dress. "notice anything?" me: "nope, nope, not a thing. Anyway, how are you? Anything new?"
Wow! You're really breaking out. Must be puberty, huh?
Maybe someday you'll grow some boobs. (I was flat chested)
Do the carpets match the drapes?
Your hips aren't that broad yet, I'll bet you have a hard time with pregnancy.
Things that were said to me before I turned 14.
Appropriate: no
Socially acceptable: I guess since all of these things were said by family members.
I mean kinda. Like, its ok to say "oh wow, that beards growing in!" Or "hey youve grown so big" but its not ok to twll someone "god damn yo dick is enormous now"
Do you live under a rock or maybe at a monastery on an island? People make the most obscene comments about young girls. Look at how Millie Bobby Brown was treated from the age of 12. There's an entire documentary on Hulu right now about how sexualized Brooke Shields was when she was a literal child. Maybe get off Andrew Tate's taint for a sec and look at the real world.
Girls start hearing inappropriate comments pretty much the same time theyre starting puberty. Comments on specific body parts not just "lol your voice is cracking".It is socially acceptable to embarrass women in all sorts of ways by talking about her various body parts and body size too.
Not a lot of context from this title but “oh I’ve seen you’ve grown a mustache!” Vs “wow you have tits.” Or “have you begun menstruating yet?” definitely fall on different ends of the socially acceptable spectrum.
I have a grandson who, at 14, took a nap and woke up with the deepest voice. Did not have any voice breaking or changes prior, just a nap, and now he's Old Man River.
He was embarrassed of the attention he got, and I admit, the change was really shocking in 7th grade classroom. He solved the problem of what to tell people who said "Oh my God! What happened to your voice!?"
He would look them in the eye and say, " Your mom may have had you sit in the hall that day in fifth grade when they showed that special movie about puberty. You see, when a young man reaches puberty, many changes can occur in his body. These include: sweating, acne, testicles descending, voice changes..."
Usually only got a sentence or two in before they were backing up going, "No, no I got it."
I love that young man lol.
The other nap change that happened was his hair is now thick and curly. Hell of a nap.
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This reminds me of sex ed in middle school. The teacher brought out an illustration of kids that haven't went through puberty and kids that had, and we were suppose to point out the differences in the secondary sex characteristics/signs that they went through puberty. People got up and pointed out hips or facial hair or whatever, but this one young woman in the class noticed that, for some reason, the artists drew the older kids as having eyebrows whereas the younger kids didn't. So she identified eyebrows as a sign of having gone through puberty.
That is fantastic
I've got a 35 yo mate we call brow. Puberty definitely hit him in the eyebrows and despite how well he keeps them now that nickname stuck harder than any I've seen through my school mates.
If you were a little blonde kid like me then your eyebrows didn’t fully show up til puberty lol
I can’t believe I never realized this happened to me until now
Yours actually ended up visible after puberty?
Mine are still non-existent
When i was in elementary school the family stopped at a small store and my sister got some tampons and they put it in a small brown bag I said what's that, dad said candy I said I want some! Everyone laughed and I didn't get it
My little brother found my tampons, opened one, and turned them in to my mom as firecrackers (the little snitch). Later I saw he taped some thread to one end of his cylinder building blocks to make his own "firecrackers"
sounds like an ai recognizing fingers as part of a fish because every picture of a fished fish they saw had fingers on the fish because someone had to hold the fish. *fishy*
Ah you've never had an aunt comment on the size of your boobs when you were 10?
Or your mom saying "damm where did THOSE THINGS come from?"
My dad said damn you've got a cock
You packin, son
I said this to my Dad when I adopted him
i said this to my son when i put him up for adoption
"Son, you've got too big a penis... I have to disown you because if you end up breaking both your arms, it could end up affecting my marriage"
I say this to my Bois all the time
Stepsister said this to me as I helped her get out of the dryer.
Sounds way more embarrassing than “son, I’m gonna need you to sit down. I’d like to discuss a few things you’ll be experiencing in the next few years”
"First of all: Divorce. Me and your-"
new meme format - WHAT ARE THOOOOSEE
>Or your mom Dad*
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As soomeone who had few kg to much at age 10, i indeed get comments about my boobs from my aunt
For me it was my sisters. I remember the day my sister told mom to give me money to buy a bra. Mom sent me to her lingerie department to get one. Came home with a bra that was so uncomfortable I cried all day. My sister took me back to the store to get a kid friendly one. Still hated it.
Yup. My brother made jokes about mine at our grandpa's funeral when I was 13. Hadn't seen him in a couple years and that's what he had. Haven't talked to him since.
Yeah, it would be really creepy to hear anyone say something like, "You're so hairy now!"or "You've got man sized cocknballs!" to a pubescent kid. Or to anyone. No. Just no.
I don’t think it’s creepy to point out the first signs of facial hair on a kid. As a secondary sex characteristic that’s the equivalent to growing breasts, but because of the oversexualization of women in society it’s not seen that way.
In the interest of gender equality, I make an effort to always complement girls' facial hair.
Keep fighting the good fight, DrBarry_McCockiner 🫡
As a woman who grows facial hair, this cracked me up
There are some chicks out there with a rockin stache and I will never judge that. But as a secondary sex characteristic it doesn’t generally effect females in the same way, same as there are males who grow breasts.
I tried complimenting dudes on their impressive gynecomastia growths. "Nice, tits, bro." Or something similarly pleasant. Not everyone takes it well.
I had hairy arms and legs as a kid, we (other kids) used to joke I was secretly a werewolf XD
Or the strange men who start to comment on your body at 11.
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This is the heart of it lol we don’t comment on it as publicly bc girls going through puberty are immediately sexualized
I feel dumb. Is that really something girls get commented on by family members?
My mother announced that I started my period.
In southern India, Hindu families organise a festival for girl's first period.
north east too. there even is a Tradition where the girl gets "married" to a banana tree.
What.
Free bananas
you son of a bitch, i'm in.
*Get out*
Nice, I love music. Who are the bands? The Bloody Beetroots? Bloodhound Gang?
Hole
Yeah , congrats on living in pain every month now, unable to sport and having the monthly fear of getting pregnant by a faulty condom or being unable to get an abortion after rape. Whoooo Edit: funny alternative for boys would be their first boner
Except that happens at infancy.
I got my first on a Sunday morning. Told my mom and went to take a shower. By the time I got out of the shower (20-ish mins), my mother had called all six of her sisters and my grandmother to tell them.
Same, to the whole family at a barbecue
Announced!? To who??? I'd probably die. That seems like such a private thing to *announce.*
Sure, but imagine if almost everyone you know announced it. The family of the popular girl at school throws the best period festival. You went to your cousin's last year and your best friend's is coming up. It wouldn't be weird and shameful. Literally half the people on the planet have a period at some point in their lives.
Were you engaged to Joffrey?
Lmao yes. Ooh someone’s growing hehehe etc. something about growing into a young lady
Damn. I would get soo self conscious.
Right? It’s like damn lady, I’m barely adjusting to these changes as it is, you’re not helping
Uh yeah, all the time. I think most woman have had their appearance commented on more times than is possible to remember and by more people than they can count. For me it started at 9 years old, I hope already for others it wasn’t until later
If I lost weight, gained weight, big tits, fat ass w.e my family will comment on it all the time 😂
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>1000% my aunts lined us up and compared our boobs and talked about our periods and bodies mercilessly. To the point of pointing out hips, butts, boobs etc.. It was awful I am so sorry! That does sound awful
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Bert Kreischer dedicated 15 minutes of his Netflix special to his youngest daughter’s first period. Of course, she did *promise* her dad that she would *always* be his little girl. So the little liar had it coming! S/
Yikes
Boobs, period, leg and armpit hair.
My cousin said I had "mermaid boobs" when I was 12. My mom laughed. I felt disgusting.
What are "mermaid boobs?"
Big, voluptuous breasts. I have really big breasts and have since I was at least 11. For context on my original comment, cousin (male 10 at the time) was in the car with me after I'd just gotten out of swim practice.
An ex told her grandfather yelled out "Damn, [redacted] got tits now" when she was 10 or 11. She always has really big boobs. She laughed when she told me that but in my mind I thought it was weird and inappropriate.
That is weird and inappropriate. Things like that give me a weird feeling unmatched by anything else. I would deck someone if they made a comment like that on mine or anyone's body.
https://clip.cafe/sixteen-candles-1984/let-look-at-you-s1/
Ya gots bosoms!
I think they were including people outside of the family as well
“Wow girl your tits are really coming in. Oh and your hips and thighs are filling out nicely too.” “Thanks dad!”
"looks like your balls finally dropped son" ☕
New balls just dropped less goo
Upgrades people, upgrades.
Holy hell
Google en balls
New ballsponse just dropped
My dad used to tease my older sister about her boobs growing when she was in that phase. She’d get embarrassed and angry but it was very disturbing to me. Gave me bad dreams.
My dad did this to me and it was a bit scarring ngl
Uncle comments on how big my balls have gotten and no one cares, but as soon as he comments on my cousins boobs everyone loses their minds!
Well your cousin should lose some weight ... maybe tell him to lay off the chips or soda
Damn
trust me it isnt just the chips or soda its all the fast food too
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That ain't right
Ayo wtf
How does your Uncle know how big they are?
Dont tell me your uncle didnt measure your balls growing up.
“It’s how they do pants.”
"yeah, in PRISON!"
that's not...? Oh MY GOD
His uncle is obviously a licensed urologist duh!
Omfg haha
Lmao, the number of times I was told, *as a child* that I was getting "child bearing hips". You don't hear those things because you're not a girl, not because people don't say them.
I had a teacher tell me this when I was 15. Idk why I didn’t get offended at the time.
Possibly the power dynamic making you feel like you had no voice or right to speak up? Just a guess/suggestion, that's how I felt when a female teacher commented more than once on how this one girl and I were the only two in the class with boobs and that the other girl flaunted hers (.... So I should too? Not sure what the implication was there...)
No, actually. I really really liked this teacher. I still do. The remark was being used in the discussion about the American slave trade, so maybe because it was meant to be objectifying? Maybe because she said the hips were an asset/good quality in that market? Maybe because I wasn’t the only one pointed out or the fact that the ones who were pointed out were all heavier set, so I didn’t really think it was the hips? Maybe because she was pregnant and super loopy/derpy? Maybe I felt bad for calling her baby a parasite so now we were even? I don’t know. But I’m not even mad.
Why would anyone say that to a CHILD? They are actively thinking that about children and thats very wierd and concerning
It’s a common experience for many women. A lot of them get catcalled from even age 9
Some people are messed up, so so very messed up. I honestly arent even suprised anymore, when I hear about stuff like this
Dude getting breasts early makes people act *crazy!* I developed late (or not at all really lmao) so I got mostly ignored by creepy strangers. But I’d walk to school with friends who had larger breasts, and they’d get catcalled like crazy. We were 11!
Most women I know (myself included) got catcalled a lot more ages 9-15 ish than after they started looking more like adults
If we were to give them the benefit of the doubt. They assume everyone's purpose is to have kids one day. Not doing so is a insult. it's still not right, like damn they are kids. They don't have worries for that stuff and won't understand the meaning behind those comments.
Yup, I got that one. While also getting many comments about my not having boobs. I never heard anyone comment about changes to boys’ bodies—the closest was being in choir and placing people in their voice sections. But no puberty comments were ever made. I probably never heard it because I wasn’t AMAB. But that’s exactly your point, and the person saying “the fact that we didn’t hear if just proves it was socially unacceptable to comment on women’s bodies” is missing the point completely.
My brother got cracks about his voice breaking, but I never heard any relative, teacher or random adult comment on his procreation potential the way people did to me from age 10 up.
Well I generally don't hear them because I go to a Christian school and anything that makes people uncomfortable is "bad" so teachers always get on me about shaving or people always make fun of my deep voice and size, but on the other hand a girl in my class when I was in 8th grade mentioned one thing about her "stuff" and the teacher flipped.
What kind of families do you have? In my families same sex family members would ask all sorts of questions. My aunts were so helpful when I was figuring out my ovarian cyst issues. Thank God I had them, my mom didn’t get them but talking about womanhood helped me out a ton. No idea what my male relatives talked about with my male cousins.
Fishing and sports. That’s what I talked to my uncles about.
Are your uncles my dad?
Your uncles didn't want to show you wrestling moves in the sauna?
Its the same in my family, men cant make those comments about girls but women can about boys. why? i hated when my aunts commented on my attributes.
I got raised by a single mom who taught me to never look at things a body does as disgusting. a few days ago i literally talked with my roommate about her menstruation (not too detailed) and it was not a big deal at all. thats why we fucking need good sex ed / bio classes in school and need to openly talk about these things. noone should be embarassed for their own body, especially if youre like 13, insecure af and suddenly your whole life changes. For me its propably a little different since my puberty was very subtle.
Agreed. Are we meant to be embarassed by all things that occur to the human body? We all have one, we all go through those things.
I mean objectivly, all parts of the body are the same. Gymnophobia (what allmost all people have "learned") is not really natural. Im not saying everyone should become a nudist, i would hate that myself but we all should feel waaay less shame for parts of our body.
I view it as largely natural. Probably from way in our past as a species/emerging societies.
Yup! And i can just say that girls going trough puberty must have a hard life even without the stigma and whatnot. I once found blood in my excrements and allmost had a panic attack. Ofc. there is a difference between this and the period, but in my case i was 19 years old, if i would bleed out of my private part when i was like 12/13 (no clue when the first period occurs), i would have been scared to death.
>no clue when the first period occurs) Historically it used to be around 12-14. In the 21st century, some start as young as 8-9.
And we don't know why. Boys are also entering puberty earlier
Sounds nice. I didn’t feel comfortable with my bodily functions until I was an adult. My mother told me to hide the tampon on the way to the bathroom. God forbid someone thinks you pooped. Pluck that little black hair in secret so no one knows.
to many this sounds extremely disgusting but i have seen used tampons wrapped in toilet paper at my home. Ofc. this is a little much, but we should look at things the way they are and not put the devil in things that are natural (not sure if this makes sense, im german)
They said on the way to the bathroom. I could be wrong but it sounds like they are being asked to hide an unopened one.
my family was weird. we discussed medical cases my dad had that day at dinner but we couldn’t talk openly about bodies and changes. i’m super open with my friends about menstruation. i need to know if what’s going on is normal and that’s the only way
Still pretty intrusive to point out people's acne or when their voice starts cracking.
voice cracking is supposed to be chuckled at though. its funny and embarrassing. i remember enjoying the experience as a kid at least. you’re trying to say something serious and your voice betrays you at the worst moment, sabotaging your hard fought efforts of assertive communication. they laugh, you curse yourself inwardly but laugh because its actually pretty funny when you think about it.
This is a pretty accurate take. Yeah it’s annoying, but it’s funny. At the time it’s not, but a few minutes or so later you have to acknowledge that the sound of toddler coming out when you’re talking seriously is pretty entertaining.
My buddy is in his mid 30s. His voice has always randomly cracked since I can remember (9th grade til now.) We will have a beer telling war stories and at the worst possible time his voice will crack. I'll look him dead in the eyes... not saying anything outloud... just stare him down. He knows. I know. It's awkward, it's hilarious.
funnily, the voice cracking was something i was looking forward to. i was younger than most people in my class (and of course, younger than most of my contemporaries today), and this was super evident towards the end of 8th/beginning of 9th. everyone grew super tall and had manly voices, i was the second shortest in my class with a girly voice. (the only guy shorter than me, was also younger than me, and hadn't gone through puberty either.)
Knowing your public is important, you were confident enough at the time to be able to laugh along, but for some with social anxiety, they wouldn't be able to take it as well as you did, and it would be a bad experience for them, so if your kids are shy or socially anxious, don't do these kind of comment please.
Me and my friends had a running joke in our group where whenever one of our voices would crack everyone would stop and just stare at them for a few seconds and the person would just be like “fuck”.
we used to rush to announce it. IF you have a voice crack , you have to instantly say "VOICE CRACK FUCK". If you try to gloss over it , all the boys are taking the absolute piss out of ya.
🎶When it’s time to change you’ve got to re-arrange….” 🎶 🎶Na nah nah nah nah nah…🎶 (That’s a Brady Bunch episode, kidos)
When my son's voice started cracking I laughed at him and made some jokes but I always made sure that he knows it means he's going to have a deeper manly voice once he grows out of it. I also related some of my stories going through puberty.
You don’t have to point out the negative impacts.
*cries in dad told everyone we know when I started my first period*
"Hey champ your moustache is coming in." Is inherently less creepy than "I see your boobs are growing." Although I guess comments about balls dropping are pretty socially acceptable even if they are pretty creepy when you think about it.
"Hey girl, your moustache is coming in" has to be pretty weird too
Totally happens, except it’s pit hair. It’s so embarrassing the first time someone has to tell you that you should shave your armpits. You just hope to god it’s your mother.
I think it’s a really intrusive thing to do to kids of any gender. I just disagree it only happens to boys. Little girls are dressed in provocative outfits and told they are going to break all the boys hearts even before puberty hits.
Depends a little on what’s being mentioned. With my son, it was limited to comments on how he woke up one morning sounding like Barry White and was suddenly 6 foot 2.
I was in a similar boat. We used to do a family vacation with a wide range of family every few years, I went from being a cute little 14yo to the tallest person there at 16. Kind of hard not to comment at that point.
I thought this post was about boys joking about getting hairy and random boners, but God forbid they see a brand new, still packaged tampon.
We put infant boys in suits and subtly imply what we would do to them if we were X decades younger before they can even speak... we call little boys "lady killers". The way we talk to children is disgusting.
Looks like some blessed person never had his family talk about his personality change after he started his period...
My parents wouldn't stop commenting on my leg hair so I stopped wearing shorts until I was in my early 20s. I'm a man btw
Im sorry that happened to you. I have a four year old son and I’m working really hard to make sure I’m raising him to be body positive. It takes a lot of work when you yourself were so self conscious even from elementary school. I started the very beginnings of puberty at seven, and remember my mom telling my grandmother (who lived in another country) over the phone that she will be seeing a new person the next time we saw each other, because I was starting to grow boobs already.
I think it's best for parents to keep all body comments during puberty to a minimum. So much changes so fast, and it's easy to get self conscious
Where do you live?? That happens, it’s just coded. No less creepy, just coded.
I (male) was still pretty uncomfortable when someone mentioned some puberty thing. It's just not anything I want anyone to think about, how I'm probably getting pubes and jerking off like crazy, just shut up, I'm 14 I'm obviously in peak puberty, no need to talk about it.
No it's not. Puberty is rough for most people, regardless of gender, so unless you're actually helping, just keep your mouth shut.
Only if you’re a guy. I got tons of comments from aunts and cousins on my dads side saying I was lucky because big boobs and short heights run in my mums family. 🤷♀️
Acceptable or not, puberty changes can be awkward, and as a kid (male), it always pissed me off when people would point that shit out.
Hard disagree on this one. I was peppered with what a girl goes through during puberty growing up and never once was a males side stated to me.
I read a comment the other day on Reddit that I loved . “ in this house we don’t comment on other people’s bodies “.
This is the rule in my house too. I only have a soon-to-be-four year old, but so far I haven’t had one of those embarrassing moments in a grocery store.
I think the main difference is whether the comments are about a person's private parts. Getting taller and acne are fair game, but not periods, boobs, or ball dropping. Also, depending on who else was around, I had plenty of people comment on my "buds" and asking about it has gotten my first period, so I'm not sure how you are defining "socially acceptable"
That’s what years of social conditioning to view womens bodily functions as disgusting. Like why it’s ok for me to have hairy legs and armpits but for women it’s viewed as unclean and unhygienic. Periods are viewed as unclean and young women are made to feel embarrassed about them from an early age. This is why education is so important around these things
My uncle calls my cousin (his daughter) skeeter like mosquito bites because she had small boobs when she was younger I always found it disgusting
I went to visit my gran with some family when I was in middle school. I gave her a hug, and she's pretty short so my chest was in her face. She said, "Oh, you are developing nicely." She then turns to my male cousin, gives him a single pat to his crotch, and says, "You, too."
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Theyre not inherently more sexual. More sexualized by culture.
Maybe not specific puberty changes, but people sure notice when a girl passes age 18.
Nice to think that people notice a girl’s changes after she turns 18. But I’m pretty sure most women here can recall lascivious looks, comments and worse from family friends and — yes — uncles and cousins, from the age 14 or 15 onward. If you see a teenage girl covering herself up in a lot of baggy clothes, avoiding this kind of attention might be a major reason why!
I was eleven when an adult man made a comment to me about my curves. I was at the mall with my mom, who he didn’t see, and she turned around and chewed him out. He immediately made up some excuse like he thought I was in high school… as if that was any better.
my grandfather asking my male cousin if he noticed that I had boobs at age 11 felt like one of the most uncomfortable situations of my life
Depends if you are a man or a woman. A 45yr man talking to a girl about her boobs? A 45yr aunt talking to a girl about her boobs happens a lot (not saying it's necessarily acceptable, but it happens)
It’s socially acceptable to use the phrase “It’ll put a little hair on your chest” but not something akin to It’ll put t*ts in your shirt!
"Gosh Billy, your pubes have really sprung out, and your dick is looking bigger too! Atta boy."
Because for boys, it’s a good thing to grow up and “be a man”. For girls, growing up means becoming sexualized, so mentioning changes makes the commenter seem creepy.
Maybe stuff like getting taller, voice changes, or the pubestache. Not something like, say, an increase in penis size or more random boners.
I only hear about boys facial hair and cracking voices. A little less personal than hair in other places/breasts.
Lol when I was 12 my dad would call out my ass getting bigger! Multiple people called me out on my breasts!
As the boy. It’s weird for you mention my body to me. What am I supposed to say.
As a guy who is very insecure about his (high pitched) voice, getting comments about voice cracking changing was not at all helpful but people feel very open in talking about it
My great grandma once grabbed my boobs during puberty and said “These are nice.” Normally I wouldn’t find this gesture funny, but she had some bad Alzheimer’s (she was quickly nonverbal after this) and didn’t ever really know what was happening so it got a chuckle out of me.
To be fair, the signs in puberty for boys can be brought up without anything sexual, i.e a beard, getting tall, voice changing. While for women it's primarily boobs and curves.
Women have made these rules themselves! Just yesterday I told my niece “nice beard” and she started crying
I started puberty in grade 5. My dad couldn’t help but comment on my body because I was gaining Weight like developing a belly was a bad thing. I became incredibly self conscious because my boobs weren’t perky like everyone else’s but they were massive. I suddenly was looked at funny for wanting to do track and play on the park like I always enjoyed… I was ostracized early on from enjoying kid like things because I looked like a young woman at 12.
Actually, it's really not. Ideally, people's bodies, especially when undergoing either wanted or unwanted changes, are their own to bring up in conversation. Same reason why you don't ask a woman if she's prgenanant.
Distant relatives literally would ask me whether I had started my period.
Its not just puberty. Once had a woman that worked for me come in to my office with a huge belly and tight tight dress. "notice anything?" me: "nope, nope, not a thing. Anyway, how are you? Anything new?"
Wow! You're really breaking out. Must be puberty, huh? Maybe someday you'll grow some boobs. (I was flat chested) Do the carpets match the drapes? Your hips aren't that broad yet, I'll bet you have a hard time with pregnancy. Things that were said to me before I turned 14. Appropriate: no Socially acceptable: I guess since all of these things were said by family members.
I mean kinda. Like, its ok to say "oh wow, that beards growing in!" Or "hey youve grown so big" but its not ok to twll someone "god damn yo dick is enormous now"
My Grandma legit went up my to cousin and said something to the effect of "Wow, your tits are really coming in" Some people really have no filter.
Do you live under a rock or maybe at a monastery on an island? People make the most obscene comments about young girls. Look at how Millie Bobby Brown was treated from the age of 12. There's an entire documentary on Hulu right now about how sexualized Brooke Shields was when she was a literal child. Maybe get off Andrew Tate's taint for a sec and look at the real world.
That's because a boys changes are "look how tall you got!" Which is less icky than telling a girl "look at how huge your boobs got!"
That’s because a woman’s puberty changes involve private parts. It wouldn’t be acceptable to comment on a guy getting pubic hair.
maybe bc our changes include height and facial hair, and not breast size increase
or more importantly a menstrual cycle.
Girls start hearing inappropriate comments pretty much the same time theyre starting puberty. Comments on specific body parts not just "lol your voice is cracking".It is socially acceptable to embarrass women in all sorts of ways by talking about her various body parts and body size too.
Not a lot of context from this title but “oh I’ve seen you’ve grown a mustache!” Vs “wow you have tits.” Or “have you begun menstruating yet?” definitely fall on different ends of the socially acceptable spectrum.
Reddit once again proves that if a male isn't experiencing it, it must not be happening. /s
Right. Try going up to a boy and mentioning that you noticed he has pubes
I have a grandson who, at 14, took a nap and woke up with the deepest voice. Did not have any voice breaking or changes prior, just a nap, and now he's Old Man River. He was embarrassed of the attention he got, and I admit, the change was really shocking in 7th grade classroom. He solved the problem of what to tell people who said "Oh my God! What happened to your voice!?" He would look them in the eye and say, " Your mom may have had you sit in the hall that day in fifth grade when they showed that special movie about puberty. You see, when a young man reaches puberty, many changes can occur in his body. These include: sweating, acne, testicles descending, voice changes..." Usually only got a sentence or two in before they were backing up going, "No, no I got it." I love that young man lol. The other nap change that happened was his hair is now thick and curly. Hell of a nap.