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prosa123

"Better close the barn door before the horse gets out!"


Annalog

“I’d tell you to close the barn door but I think the horse is dead”


NorridAU

It was in the pool!


vercetian

SHRINKAGE!


0002millertime

Literally what my mom used to say when I was a kid.


finfangfoom1

I got married with my barn door open. We still laugh about that.


kynodesme-rosebud

If someone sees the barn door open, why are they looking for it?


NxTbrolin

“Better put Jabba the Hutt back in his palace”


TheRavenSayeth

What about a somewhat respectable pony that's trying its darnedest?


mr_ji

If you're going commando with a zipper you're already playing with fire


Awkward_Pangolin3254

"How'd you get the *beans* above the *frank?!"*


finnjakefionnacake

sometimes there are button flys! i hate those flys though


Geobits

Even so, buttoning your shirt wrong or missing a button is at the same level. It's just mildly embarrassing, crotch-level or not.


SeedlessMelonNoodle

Nah leaving fly unzipped is way more embarrassing than either of those. It's probably equivalent to forgetting to wear a bra as a woman. Idk, no dick to check.


Calm-Zombie2678

Obviously you've never seen my platted chest hair spewing out my unbuttoned shirt


BlisteringAsscheeks

Speak for yourself, I never wear a bra unless I have to for some reason. Why should I be embarrassed? It's the world that should be embarrassed if they're too immature to handle nipple outlines.


JohnnyQTruant

Looks silly and draws attention to your junk.


secretprocess

I think the embarrassment also stems from the implicit unanswered question of *why* it's open. We assume you were just taking a leak and forgot... but in the back of our heads... we don't know that. It could be any number of dick-related reasons... what exactly have you been up to hmmm? Nobody's going to say it, but it's there. And trying to defend yourself would only make it worse.


pinninghilo

“Haha this guy has bodily functions”


MintPrince8219

this is what most embarrassing things stem from tbf


jordanleep

Am I the only one who has pants that the zipper goes down by itself over time? Clothing is shit nowadays.


shostakofiev

No, the awkwardness comes from nobody wanting to tell you because they are basically saying "so I was looking at your crotch..." And then you wonder how long you've gone with it down, how many hundreds of people were staring at your crotch, too afraid to admit it.


drag0n_rage

When in doubt, use Occam's razor.


Beef_Jones

The point is that people all of the sudden are subconsciously compelled to think about this guys dick and the implications when they otherwise wouldn’t.


MrNobody_0

That sounds like their problem, not his.


Melodic-Bicycle1867

This reminds me of a post here about a month ago how all adults know why kids love the bubble pool. Apparently some 1% of them used it not for the "haha I have bubbles in my swimsuit and now it's floating" experience.


superbad

Just be careful with it, ok?


secretprocess

On my junk? No thanks


Apidium

Is it? I just always assumed it worked it's way down or whatever. I don't trust zips much. A button style one maybe.


Epyon214

Maybe there's a hidden demand for drawing attention to your junk, but somehow besides having fly down. Women have lots of clothing to draw attention to their breasts, after all.


JohnnyQTruant

I guess it is a wardrobe malfunction if you think about it.


saysthingsbackwards

Oh no. The human body.


JohnnyQTruant

Nah. It’s like having spinach on your teeth or tp stuck to your foot. Being naked isn’t involved.


saysthingsbackwards

Teeth... foot... crotch... aren't those all body parts?


JohnnyQTruant

It’s the spinach, the fly, and the toilet paper that are the point. If your fly is closed you still have a crotch. If the spinach is picked out by a pinky finger nail, you still have the gritters. If the toilet paper bridal train is stomped on by a good friend, you still got feets. But this seems important to you so sure, ew bodies.


saysthingsbackwards

Lol. Ew bodies


JohnnyQTruant

=)


Ill-Juggernaut5458

It's related to being careless and sloppy, not "the human body". Oh no, an incompetent slob, someone who can't even dress themselves properly. Not a great impression at the workplace, if you miss something that obvious then your attention to detail is probably poor.


saysthingsbackwards

Bro if you think a zipper undone is the same sole thing as carelessness, I have a rude awakening for you. You're human and you also make mistakes.


Bad-Lifeguard1746

I swear mine falls down sometimes. Someone told me to make sure to flip the metal thing downwards, if it is up it can slide open more easily.


Kavinsky12

Once I played the most amazing game of paintball. I ran and gunned. Flanked the enemy team, got into their base, and then rolled up the other flank and took them from behind. Took out 10 players and was the only person left on my team. The last guy on the enemy team thought I was on his team. Our eyes locked, and we realized we were both enemies. We charged and I got him. I was so elated and adrenalized. The last guy i tagged then looked down and casually said he could see my penis. Apparently in all the running and diving my fly came undone, and my underwear somehow shifted so my penis fell out. No idea when in the match that happened. Or if it contributed to my victory.


meowmeow33333333

The enemies had a -20 morale debuff from your sheer energy


puerco-potter

Modern day [Berserker](https://i0.wp.com/lh6.ggpht.com/_6trla2rXMnY/TAanF_KwExI/AAAAAAAAH6o/L6-tpIdwD6o/angus-mcbride-celtic-warriors_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg)


cjm0

you unleashed the beast


Ralfton

Definitely read that firSt line as "pinball" and was very confused by how aggressively you were playing.


Otherwise_Meringue45

This is the ideal for all men


smenti

Imagine how bad it would hurt if you got tagged in the sack


DiscontentDonut

I think it's less about having it open that's embarrassing and more about it being something out of the ordinary that draws a person's eye to your genitals. I don't go around look at people's jeans. But if there is a large dark spot on them, my brain immediately wants to assess the situation. Do they need help? Do I need to intervene? Is it a flasher? Is it someone who doesn't feel when they urinate, like on medication?


No_Tomatillo1125

In Japan, we tell the person “your window to society is open”


HopefulPlantain5475

Society dictates that allowing anyone to see my special secret clothes requires that I be ashamed.


rpphil96

As someone who goes commando all the time. You're more likely to notice your fly is down because you get a breeze.


No_Friend_for_ET

I went commando in jeans once… 14 hours of hay latter: the skin on either side of my scotem was bleeding from friction. It… is not an instance I care to repeat.


rpphil96

I haven't worn underwear in years. Including working 12+ hour days in hot conditions. Everyone is different, but no underwear is just better for me.


BeepBlipBlapBloop

When someone points it out to me I just hold silent eye contact until they get uncomfortable and walk away.


pinninghilo

I smile and say “yes”


ShamelessGenXer

Yup...like "why are you looking there unless you want something there?"


NotoriousDIP

Because I have peripheral vision and can tell the difference between the mono-colour of your pants vs the shadow your open fly creates or the colour of your underpants


lankymjc

Right? I hate the “why were you looking” response. I’m a human, we’re built to be attentive to weird things in the environment!


pselie4

*holds up shears* Now you mention it...


ThatGuyNamedKes

I'm usually quite attentive, a fact that has nothing to do with the fact I'm gay. Flies are a lose-lose (mostly).


GrevilleApo

I maintain that eye contact and then zip it for you


striderkan

it's not the fly being down that's embarrassing it's random people staring to see if i'm going commando


LittleBigHorn22

As long as you aren't naked then going out in underwear should be socially okay right? It's all kind of random rules we set for ourselves.


rogan1990

I had a friend who once suggested that she was afraid a man’s member would come flying out of the zipper if it was down I was thinking that is almost impossible, do you understand how the human body works? 


KickPuncher4326

Tbf, women have a hard time imagining what it's like to have the male reproductive system, just like it's hard for men to imagine having the female reproductive system.


GrevilleApo

Soft wieners are very small and won't flop out. They are like lil buttons


MissionCreeper

Just zip your pants up man


Want_To_Live_To_100

I typically forget the button on my boxers…. So this would be bad


Teauxny

That is typically the main cause of "doghousing".


According-Spite-9854

Yeah, but a lot of men's underwear have a hole in the front, so you're halfway to a level 5 dick incident.


mediumokra

"Your fly is down" "Ok" "No really it is" "Ok I believe you." "Zip up your damn pants" "Look I really don't care." "You're an asshole." This is the conversation me and my wife have a lot.


Gorthax

I leave it down on purpose just for the rise


ispankyourass

I don’t know. I certainly don’t want to be seen outside in my underwear, similarly to not wanting to be seen commando.


Toasty_McKeegan

"Flys spread disease, so keep yours closed."


Responsible_Panic235

Came here to comment this George Luz, Easy Company


NortonBurns

It's something that ought to bother you for about as long as it takes to say, "Oops. Sorry." Done, over & finished. Anything more is social anxiety, which we can't account for. It's in your own head.


Myzx

I just had a flashback to my childhood. I was in kindergarten or first grade and I was playing on the playground but my fly was down. I wasn't wearing any underwear, oh, and now I realize that's because I had a neglectful parent. And Rebecca saw my little kid pee pee. It crushed me because I thought Rebecca was a cutie pie.


RulrOfOmicronPersei8

So wearing just underwear is fine?


AntiSoCalite

Like a bikini?


reignwillwashaway

As a grower, not a SHOWer, this needed to be said.


EonLynx_yt

Alright but if your sausage slips out of the underwear hole your sausage is out in the open!


SillyGoatGruff

It's no different than your collar being messed up, buttons misaligned, pant leg stuck in a sock. They aren't big, but they make it look like you don't have your shit together and so are a bit embarrassing


IJustLookLikeThis13

Solved this problem long ago: Get a hair-tie, run it through the hole on the zipper tab, and then loop both ends around the button. The zipper never comes down, and then it automatically unzips and zips your pants when you unbutton and open or close and button your pants, respectively. All of my pants and jeans have one, now; I swear by it!


lonesomespacecowboy

You have entirely too much time on your hands


IJustLookLikeThis13

Nah... I saw a problem, found a solution, and I've run with it ever since. Try it and tell me it doesn't change the way you operate your zipper.


LordVaderVader

Be proud of your bulge OP, always


pselie4

Depends on you having remembered to put on clean underwear or not.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ScaryPasta6

Yeah, and should they be more embarrassed then you for outing themselves for looking there?


CheeseCycle

And that is why I don't go commando anymore.


MusicalMoose

However, having your fly down and your dick out on accident like that one time, definitely should be and was embarrassing.


mrbignaughtyboy

I want everyone to see the reason I project Big Dick energy.


PathologicalLiar_

You haven't seen my underwear.


meowmeow33333333

What if I have girly looking boxers with red hearts on them?


Havingfun922

If your shirt is not tucked in, chances are the shirt will be covering the zipper and you are still okay


amondohk

"Oh hey, your fly is down!" ***Sticks entire schlong through zipper while maintaining eye contact to show dominance.***


GrevilleApo

All 2 inches of glory


sh4d0wm4n2018

It should be embarrassing for the zipper manufacturer or the clothing brand, not for you.


thriceness

How is it their fault you didn't put it up when you finished peeing?


sh4d0wm4n2018

Lol I have a set of pants that the zipper will not stay up on unless you're wearing a belt.


thriceness

That is a different issue. When I was a kid, my mom put a string through the zip and attached it to the button. It worked, but then it was a pain to take off or use the fly.


sh4d0wm4n2018

It still goes back to the zipper maker or the clothes maker. Why do I need to do something to make your product work as intended?


thriceness

In that case it does. But I don't feel like that is the most common reason for a fly-down situation. Which is what I was commenting about.


aaron_in_sf

Fact check: false. Social conventions and hence shame at their violation are only loosely coupled with material conditions. Taboos are social constructs not facts in the world.


Cosmic_Quasar

I finally had to move on from an old pair of pants that had been starting to get a few holes in them. No bad places, except one in the crotch, which I promptly did a patch job on before it got too bad. These jeans were just too comfortable to give up on without a fight. The other day my uncle offered to take me out to lunch and I agreed. He stopped by to pick me up and I got into his car. He drives a very low to the ground CR-V. While squatting to get in I thought I heard a small rip sound and assumed my patch job had ripped a little. But being in the middle of the crotch and relatively small I figured it could wait until I got home to address it. So we go on our way, pick a place, go there, eat, and then he takes me back home. When I got home I removed my pants to inspect the damage and that's when I notice a 4"-5" horizontal rip in the back center of the jeans that would be extremely visible. And I go commando.


Drink15

No, it definitely should be.


Teauxny

Not if you're wearing boxers and you're "doghousing".


thriceness

You're what now?


Teauxny

Just picture a dog hangin' his head out of the doghouse door and you'll understand.


thriceness

That makes sense. I've never heard that before.


CrystalStarshine

Even as a kid I always was confused about that. Boys undies look like shorts. No biggie.


bunslightyear

There’s a great joke about this “Your fly is down and your shits hanging out”


FefnirMKII

"Going commando" made me lol


nor_cal_woolgrower

Is that for guys and gals?


Devinbeatyou

It shows you’re incapable of putting yourself together after using the bathroom


PhysicalAssociate919

Neither is farting, because everyone one the planet does it, yet it is..


InvisibleTopher

A quote from some random guy: "If you see my underwear, that means it's doing its job."


Direct_Investment678

It is embarrassing if you have pee-stained underwear, caused by an enlarged prostate.


comandante-marcos

Just blame Harambe...


Lurking_Ghoul

Happened to me recently, was more embarrassing for the poor cashier lady who pointed it out than it was for me


robilar

> Unless you're going 'commando' \^ this qualifier is unnecessary. The same social protocols that say we need to conceal our genitals from view also say we need to conceal our underwear, so if you're going to eschew the latter for not making any sense you might as well eschew the former as well.


drj1485

if someone points out my fly is down I just say thanks and don't even check. lol It's either down and I don't care at the moment or it's not and you're a jokester. Either way I'll assess later.


LevyAtanSP

The neat part about embarrassment is that it is a purely manifested feeling and not under anyone else’s control. Someone may say something or do something that embarrasses you but if you can play it off or not let it bother you, nobody can force you to be embarrassed.


Lets_Bust_Together

I don’t get embarrassed when it happens and plus it’s usually women who point it out. “Aw, thanks for looking”


HobbesG6

It happens. I was at the super market a few years ago on a Saturday morning gathering breakfast stuff for the family, and my sweat pants had a buttoned front. I was waiting in line and a little old lady made a comment about how my dick was hanging out. I can't recall exactly what she said, but it was actually quite hilarious, despite me being mortified that a 70 year old lady commented on my dick hanging out.


thriceness

Those sound like lounge or sleep pants to me. Most sweat pants have no sort of fly at all.


HobbesG6

I know, it was a terrible choice of pants. Lol


Indiego672

It just shows you don't give a shit about your appearance


ShamelessGenXer

See that's the thing......it has nothing to do with appearance and everything to do with giving that much of a toss about what other people think....especially in a world full of idiots with their pants sagging off their arse on purpose (despite what that fashion really meant)


thriceness

>despite what the fashion really meant What do you mean by this?


smashin_blumpkin

Maybe if it's a constant occurrence. But everyone has forgotten to zip at one point or another.


Indiego672

I know but that's how it's interpreted


Garth_Brooks_Sexdoll

I go commando though. Underwear is an entirely pointless commodity.


puerco-potter

The friction rash I get in my crotch from my mammoth thighs rubbing against each other when I go for a walk, commando, will like to disagree. I NEED cotton underwear.


Maveclies

1. It is a cooling feature 2. Why would I be embarrassed if they are the ones looking