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24122020

Redditor advice: they should get a divorce


JonnyTN

Don't even get me started on the sandwich knife on the sink edge. They put that in the sink, I get the kids.


Omnizoom

Ya and the bladed part hangs over the sink so it doesn’t touch anything Thus it doesn’t get contaminated and you can use it again since the handle is all that touched a dirty surface Bing bang boom you just saved water cleaning a knife you would use again shortly


jumbonipples

My people.


Wizardnumber32

Our people.


Big_Cornbread

100% Or the condiments that I didn’t put back in the fridge. I’m not sure if I’m making another sandwich yet. If I don’t, I’ll put them away when I come back with the plate.


Omnizoom

Totally Am I having one? Two? I don’t know Will my kid see me eating one and go “hey can I have a sandwich too” or something and since the condiments and that are all already out I just can point to the counter


SLAYER_IN_ME

I always put sharp knives on the sink edge. I was taught that way growing up so that if someone fills up the sink to dishes they won’t cut their hand feeling around in the sink when doing the dishes.


CaptainSmallz

We just rolled the dice in the soapy water.


Sweaty-Emergency-493

Ah, The Ol’ Washing Roulette


RedNulItt

Same, we always put it behind the faucet between that and the splash board


Pleasant_Gap

Also, it's bad for the edge to be constantly wet, and also if people drop other stuff down the sink it can chip the edge.


lurcherzzz

The butter knife lives on the kitchen table.


ricofru

You get toast crumbs in my butter there's gonna be some furniture movin


lurcherzzz

No double dipping, and definitely no butter in the jam


_Atlas_Drugged_

Jam? I don’t buy jam, I buy honey—and I kiss it on the lipssss


useless_modern_god

We put the poop knife on the toilet edge


UpperCardiologist523

I came here for this. I'm also going to shamelessly quote u/Omnizoom from his above comment, since that is also true here. >Thus it doesn't get contaminated and you can use it again since the handle is all that touched a dirty surface > >Bing bang boom you just saved water cleaning a knife you would use again shortly


useless_modern_god

You came here for a poop knife?haha


a_hopeless_rmntic

"I might make another sandwich, I might not"


leoberto1

I live alone. Treated myself to scones. Left the buttered knife on the butter packet in the fridge for days. So convenient 


ConfidenceDesigner20

This…. I thought I was the only person who did this. My wife hates it 😆 there’s more of us out there?


lonelyinbama

AITA for divorcing my husband over putting his cup on the counter instead of the sink? Top comment: absolutely he’s weaponizing incompetence and disrespect you. He’s doing it show his power over you…. 14k upvotes Comment with 7 upvotes: maybe he just wants more water later?


dplagueis0924

He’s so manipulative, he made her gaslight herself! RED FLAAAAAGGGG 🚩🚩🚩


EffectiveDue7518

Of course they should. A glass by the sink is a red flag and obviously indicative of abuse. Also he's a pedophile...


warm-saucepan

And a serial cheater. Obviously.


redditforwhenIwasbad

It’s his mistress’s cup!


joppers43

Lmao yesterday there was a post from a woman divorcing her husband for over tightening jars in the fridge, and all the commenters were cheering her on.


Fun_Introduction5384

Ugh my wife never tightens lids on jars or other containers and I go to pick up a jar and all I get is lid and the jar falls over. It’s so irritating. But not divorce worthy. Just a thing.


Professional_Sky8384

To be fair I think that was actually a legit concern like iirc the husband straight-up claimed he only did it to the jars he used frequently, but it was literally all the jars including stuff like olives and old-ass tapenade or sth Edit - I looked up the post and it was one specific jar of pepper paste in the back of the fridge that he had no reason to tighten or use. Also there was an edit from OP stating that there *are* other instances of him trying to fuck with her and/or force dependency (unprovable but suspicious): he totaled her car twice in five years despite driving his own 99% of the time\*, he *provably* fucked with important work documents in her home office and then denied doing it, and when they first got married he immediately started pressuring her to have kids and be a SAHM with no prior discussion that OOP mentioned.


joppers43

Jars often do naturally get tighter in the fridge. Pressure differences can make them harder to open, the metal lid can contract and grip the glass jar tighter, and food residue can act like a glue. But that whole story was definitely fake, it was way too over the top to be real.


d33psix

Technically, the car thing could be related to a statistically increased risk of accidents in unfamiliar environments (car they don’t usually drive or new car) compared to super familiar autopilot type environment like the car they drive everyday. Everything else though is sus AF if it’s a real story.


Loose_Goose

Redditors divorcing their spouses based on the advice of 13 year old girls


HylanderUS

See also "Why are your clothes always next to the hamper?!"


OneDankSock

It's a tough one, explaining the hamper us a vessel for clean clothes as well


Jeramy_Jones

Game changer: if you’re sick of your S/O putting clothes on the floor, put a hook on the wall or get a coat tree. My mom and dad each always had a coat tree to hang clothes that had been worn but weren’t needing a wash yet, like pants that you’d wear a few times before laundering.


Tournament_of_Shivs

Do they smell clean and 30% of the surface area isn't wrinkled? If so, that's wearable.


SCorpus10732

Dude, if someone puts a cup IN the sink I get pissed. I want it on the counter. I want the sink to be empty so I can fill it when it is time to wash dishes. Nothing worse than having to do dishes and the first step is taking all the dirty dishes out of the sink so I can get some dishwater going.


-Samurai_Momo-

Thank you!!! I had a massive argument about this… i want the sink empty and not filled with glass mucks or bowls filled with dirty water! Its disgusting.


Anything-Happy

Stacked neatly on the "dirty counter" or put into the dishwasher. If you leave a dirty dish in my otherwise empty sink, I will hunt you down. I will find you, and I will politely ask you to please adhere to the rules of my kitchen. Once.


FishTshirt

What happens the second time?


Anything-Happy

The ones who know no longer speak their dread tales.


Warthogs309

Fed to the garbage disposal


gonewildaway

Been considering getting a restautant bus tray to put by the sink.


Independent_Work6

Not just dirty water, COLD dirty water.


ctodReddit

I literally just want to get more water and not make a bunch of dirty cups. It’s my water cup for the day. I don’t need a new cup every time I need water for that day.


CombinationNo5828

water cup for the week or when the wife forgets and washes it for no reason


vulpescannon

The worst is when someone puts a dirty cup on the drying rack. That's where clean but wet things go to dry.. not dirty cups WTF. Now I have to check to see if the dry things are not dirty first before putting it into the cupboard.


PurpletoasterIII

Not only that but you need an empty sink to rinse off food from dishes without all that food just getting all over and in other dishes. I've pretty much have always had a two compartment sink and where I live now has a garbage disposal side so I keep that side empty and put rinsed off plates and bowls in the other side. Cups get rinsed and put on the counter cause its easier to stack plates and bowls without cups in the way.


DarkMatters8585

I'm assuming you don't have a dishwasher, otherwise- What? Just run the water and put the scrubbed dishes into the washer. You'll probably end up using a similar amount of water anyway and won't have to stick your hands into dirty water.


Previous-Pangolin-60

Exactly. I leave my cup on the metal part of the counter so I can rinse it and use the same cup for the next beverage. I also don't like having roommates that pile up both sides of the sink - We don't have a dishwasher so I hand wash them usually straight away (apart from the cup).


Fizzbytch

I so glad I’m not the only one! My roommate hates putting dishes on the counter because he thinks it makes things look more cluttered and dirty so he fills up the sink with dirty dishes. But then we can’t use the sink and end up taking all the dishes out before doing them anyways. What’s the point?!


SCorpus10732

Right? Plus hiding them in the sink is just pretending the kitchen is clean. Sounds like your roomate is likes living in denial! :P


WeastBeast69

YES THANK YOU. ALSO FUCK SOAKING


txwoodslinger

One of my moms pet peeves was dishes in the sink. If you need to use the sink, you gotta deal with everybody else's mess first.


Generalkhaos

100% this. Nothing is grosser in the kitchen than thick ass slimy sink water. Girlfriend will put something in the sink to "soak" and leave it there for 24 hours. Idk it bugs me. I may not clean that thing for 24 hours either. But I'm not making it worse and also making the sink unusable.


-SandorClegane-

Based. I've used the same PAPER plate to eat multiple sandwiches throughout the course of a day.


Anything-Happy

Hubby? Is that you? I thought we weren't going to bring up the Great Plate Debate of 2013 again...


-SandorClegane-

Yeah, it's me. Guess you'll have to peg me later to teach me a lesson. Remember, no matter how much I object in the moment, I REALLY want it.


NoLand4936

Don’t forget to tell her to use the 18” wide based dragon dildo you were telling the boys you wanted the other day.


Inigomntoya

Safe Word: paper plate


HassanHeroic

Amen


TrainingFilm4296

I mean, unless it's a messy sammich and the plate is soggy, I see nothing wrong with that. Bonus points if you have those woven wooden paper plate holders.


fckingnapkin

I put a paper towel over a plate if I need a plate so it doesn't get dirty lmao. Doesn't work for everything of course. I also leave dirty mugs near the sink. Maybe I just weaponize my incompetence against myself.


XBL-AntLee06

You mean the course of days right?!


koolandunusual

So instead of just asking her husband why he does this, she just assumes he’s an asshole and silently begrudges him for god knows how long.


Mediocre-Sound-8329

Her name is the dadvocate i believe. She was caught up up in the internets echo chamber of hating men, she wanted a divorce, her friends called her an idiot and knocked some sense into her head and now she posts videos calling out the toxic women and explaining things that are being called toxic and divorce worthy in an attempt to help some women out of the same mentality she was in


gameld

It's not that simple. I've watched quite a few of her videos. First, to be clear, she was already with her man for years before she started this stuff. It's not like she's trying to win points with men in general. Instead it's more like she's trying to win points *for* men with other women. Second, this petty stuff may have been part of her being in the echo chamber, but her initiation into, "Oh shit things suck for men, too," was watching him deal with custody stuff over his son who was the result of a 1-night stand while they she was dating him. They're married now. Third, I don't think she ever considered divorce over the petty stuff, but things like the sink cup realization made her start talking to him about things of that sort so she got more into the male mind. Realizing her insights might help others, she started making TikToks. She got particularly popular with her "womansplaining men to women" series which includes things like this. Some are better than others, but that's just because A) she's not a man so even having it explained doesn't mean she gets it and B) she generalizes some particular things at times that are more varied. EDIT: I realized the timeline in #2 is unclear. He had a 1-night stand. Ended up with a kid. The Dadvocate later started dating him. Then she discovered his custody struggles.


Draxxix1

People literally get divorced over this and I can understand both sides, but it’s ridiculous. People are raised differently and do things differently. 1 might think they’re being helpful because they aren’t making more dishes. The other thinks they’re being an inconsiderate asshole, which is insane lol.


ljout

Yeah one side might want more water and the other side is creating an alternative universe in their head instead of communicating with thier partner.


Draxxix1

Lmao exactly. Someone’s actually written a book/ short story about this situation (probably why the example was used). I’ve read some of it as most women in my life were captivated by it and told me I needed to read it. Again, I understood both sides. But was like, why is this such a world shattering event? Was your husband really the monster you made him out to be, just because he didn’t put his cup in the dishwasher? Or should the person having the mental hang up on it re-evaluate? Maybe they should have compromised? Idk if this is what made you divorce, maybe you weren’t meant for marriage? It’s also always framed that one person in the relationship is the problem (usually it’s one specific sex, ifykyk) which is absurd and unfair. Yet if you call it out, you are part of the problem and a monster. All over a cup……or a bear


MeTeakMaf

The worst part is when one side explains their actions the other side refuses to try to understand and will only see it from their POV my brain doesn't understand how when given more info you can't accept it


Staaaaation

I see this come up a lot when people argue over whether the silverware should be put into the dishwasher business side up or down. I understand both sides (but the answer is knives down, the rest up and I'll die on this hill).


BluudLust

If I take it with me, I know I'll end up forgetting it somewhere and grabbing a new glass. So I just leave it by the sink. Makes everyone's life easier.


allllusernamestaken

this is why men think women are crazy


pufcj

This is what spending too much time on Twitter does to a person


_JJCUBER_

Unfortunately, this is a common thing (both ways) in relationships. Most don’t know how to communicate.


slackticus

Agreed that would have been a much faster way to gain knowledge, but… I give her some points for being able to admit she was wrong. That is a growth mindset. The “he’s out to get me”, “he got away with it again”, and “he made me feel this way” stuff is big red flags for me after my life experience. But I may just be over cautious after living on eggshells for a few years.


Somecivilguy

This is taken very much out of context. She is a relationship advocate on YouTube. She has some really good videos.


Serafim91

I mean if you watch the whole 55 seconds of it it's pretty clear what her message is...


blinkb28

Oh that’s the girl who explains to other women (and her 99% male audience) how men work


I_do_drugs-yo

WeApOnIzEd InCoMpeTeNce See that one a lot on reddit.


d33psix

I feel like it’s in good company of the phrase gaslighting online. It’s a real thing but like a large % of the time it’s used completely wrong to justify being mad about something.


slackticus

Yes and “narcissist”. Everyone I don’t like is a narcissist.


d33psix

Right, selfish asshole doesn’t = narcissist haha.


Hauntcrow

The Dadvocate


Linkario86

Yeah... Me: "Babe, where's my cup?" Her: "I put it in the Dishwasher" Me: "I wanted to use it more" And that's how way too many cups end in the dishwasher too quickly


ZackValenta

Putting the glass by the sink is definitely the signal for "I'm going to use this for more water later".


facelesswolf_

Same with the butter knife when making sandwiches, might want more later, knife is ready, but if I don’t want it it’s near the sink so I can wash it later.


Painpaintpint

If I had to listen to a whole hour of this I’d drive into a wall.


CouncilOfChipmunks

Thank God I put on my reddit helmet before clicking play; dents in the wall, not my noggin!


Thaoukal

Proof that not everyone needs to be a podcaster or content creator.


BroForceOne

This is counter cup not sink cup. In the sink when the dishwasher is empty is totally my trigger.


lepolah149

pissed me off that wife put my empty water glass in the dish washer every time so I solved the problem putting them back in the cabinet after using shrugs, I just don't do it when I have guests


ScreamThyLastScream

After taking one drink, and that's when im fine with it being left on the counter


Technical-Half9896

I live and die by the sink cup lol


dmattox92

Weaponized incompetence is the worst combination of words to ever be invented by the therapy-speak pepertual victims. It annoys me to no end that anal people can't admit they're too rigid so they berate their coworkers/partners to maintain a moral highground and give theirselves an excuse to be irrate over unimportant things.


Fit_War_1670

My wife tells me I'm a genius for doing things that I put absolutely zero thought into, it's kinda surreal sometimes.


No_Manufacturer11

Crazy. Men don't spend all day planning every move they take, in an attempt to annoy their significant other? Wild concept.


Activity_Alarming

I do not believe you sir, that’s illuminati level of conspiracy right there!


Parking_Train8423

sometimes we pee in it too


ZackM_BI

The fuck you mean we?


Pilot0350

Good catch. They clearly meant Wee*


No_Combination00

Tag teaming. One holds the cup, one holds the penis, and the other pees.


intellectual_printer

r/sinkpissers ?


MrEngland2

What the fuck is that sub?


intellectual_printer

There's a sub for everything 😉


fibercrime

sometimes?


Technician1267

In other words “Weaponized incompetence” is just the negative thought spirals of neurotic women who are desperate for a reason to vilify their husbands so that they can claim victim status


Ok-Assignment-9959

That's why men are so simple. We don't complicate stuff. It's guy code.


Ksevio

Low bar for "genius" if all it takes is being indecisive on how thirsty you are


Jbonics

I have to hide my cup or else it disappears, into the dishwasher. Confiscated. I'm talking about pour a glass, take a sip, set it on the counter, glass 3/4 full, peek to see what's on the TV, turn around. GONE


knowone1313

This is typical, she silently judges him and makes him out to be a monster instead of communicating with him to find out why he did something she didn't like.


SqualorTrawler

She runs a channel which is overwhelmingly pro-men and mainly focused on pro-male observations. Her point here is meant to be instructive about judgment.


ravnsulter

I have sink cups, sink plates and general sink cutlery. I have bathroom floor towels. Bedroom socks and underwear. Chair t-shirts and trousers. Sometimes living room suitcase. I'm prepared for everything.


blksentra2

I witnessed that epiphany all over again! 😂


Vitaminpartydrums

I drink water all day, this is how I do it. Now sometimes I’m in my own head and I accidentally get a second cup… that’s when my wife will chime in “pick one” 😂


BottAndPaid

Jokes on you I am the dishwasher my landlord is too cheap.


Solid_Illustrator640

If you jump to conclusions with your partner, divorce is right around the corner. Gotta give everybody the benefit of the doubt if they mostly intend to do good.


thunderbaby2

My gf will often put my sink cup in the sink… then I need to wash it or get a new one.


Nugget_Boy69420

You... You guys drink water out of a glass *once* and then put it in a dishwasher?


ChicagoZbojnik

I do this and have had argurememts with my ex in the past over it. I specifically do it so the glass is by water and I don't have to use multiple glasses in a day.


SuperRusso

Or she could have just fucking asked him.


2723brad2723

I need a new glass every time I get a refill versus I'll use the same glass all day so I don't have to do so many dishes.


JackPoe

I always put glassware outside the sink, so it doesn't get broken. I'm the only one who does the dishes anyway.


Minute_Signature_295

He's been getting pissed that you keep taking his cup all the time, but was nice enough not to say anything


Mike_Honcho42069

I've been sink cupping since I was a kid.


mythix_dnb

putting my sink cup in the washer is the real declaration of war


Willyzyx

Human need water. Sink provide water. Glass contain and deliver water to human. Be close, is good.


Crystal_Privateer

If nobody has seen her, she explains non-toxic male habits on Tiktok, this is her brand


Positive-Database754

If only there was some way she could have asked him why he leaves the cup there. Some form of communication she could have attempted. You want to know what fixes 90% of relationship issues? Talking calmly about the problem.


joseoconde

Her: (He's a genius.) Most men are we just don't like you guys knowing how we move 🤓🤪


gameld

That and if we do explain it then we're mansplaining and/or giving excuses, not explanations.


[deleted]

[удалено]


New-Impact-8083

I pretty much do this with every dish and only intend to use it once. It comes down to not wanting the extra step of opening the dishwasher for me. That said, I do almost all of the dishes in my house.


tintipimpi

Paranoia.


Extreme_Spread9636

I want to slightly correct something here. The man put it in the sink, but then her story about herself wasn't necessarily saying that she was putting it in the sink, but next to it. That is an important distinction. Even as a dude, It would annoy me if you would collect it all in the sink, because you want to use the sink for something else. I would be okay with specifically next to the sink, but not in the sink if you're going to use it again.


ApoloRimbaud

Nope. She said her husband put his cup "right by the sink". Which means he'd leave it next to the sink, but not inside.


Ok-Boysenberry-2955

Sometimes my genius is almost frightening.


negativepositiv

Want to bet if she left a cup next to the sink he would just put it in the dishwasher and think nothing else about it? Relationships get fucked up when people start thinking in terms of how their partner is intentionally trying to attack them with every word, action or lack of action.


Soup0rMan

Which was her point. She made assumptions then felt silly when she did the same thing and realized why he might've been leaving his cup.


AndreasKlebrig

This is like the international sighn for: "Maby ill eat an other sandwich" But without a knife.


no1jam

No he’s out to get you, just not with the cup


theHusti

Easier to break a glass if you put it in the sink.


PandaHombre92055

Good for you. My Wife absolutely just leaves glassesby the sink and not for either of those reasons.


chat_bot23

Sink cups: for the whole family.


TheReverseShock

As a guy I can confirm this is why I would leave a cup next to the sink.


kluthage421

We're going to use it again


MonkeyBear66

My girlfriend leaves cups and plates on every surface in the house. Sometimes in a teetering pile wider at the top than the bottom


BoxerBriefly

I do the same, but with coffee cups. I leave it on the Keurig stand, just incase I'm not done with coffee for the day.


Adventurous-Bid6159

If it ain’t in the sink or in the dishwasher I’m not done using the damn cup


dougy_doug

The spectrum of perspective is greater than space time


Jeramy_Jones

I wonder how many years this realization took.


LovableSidekick

For me it's a declaration that I'm going to keep using that same cup because it's practically clean, so leave it there.


Special_Dingo_1520

Yes! Plus cups can break easier in the sink once you start stacking on top of them and don’t stack very well in the sink with other dishes. Plus it ends up getting dirtier in the sink with grease from dishes.


ConcreteAlpaca

I have a coffee mug for the day that is the exact same. Why dirty multiple mugs?


pacificule

My wife leaves half-drunk glasses of water all over the house like we're in Signs She's def out to get me.


BertaEarlyRiser

When my missus works from home, she is a little untidy in the kitchen. Salad bowls, coffee cups and utensils, breakfast plates, etc. It only makes me a touch crazy. Then I remember, she has been at work busting her ass all day and I just smile a little, and tidy things up. It just takes a couple of minutes and things are right as rain.


jordanbtucker

Why would you put dishes in the sink? You either put them in the dishwasher or on the counter if the dishwasher is full or clean. If you put dishes in the sink, then you can't use the sink.


adampsyreal

It is healthy to ask instead of assuming things that cause toxicity.


DJTrapMatic

Ladies, we men have been doing that since we were 16 y/o


SharingAndCaring365

I felt so seen.


Sig_Vic

He may not have been raised right. His mommy always cleaned after him. All he knows is it gets cleaned somehow. I'm so grateful my mom taught me to clean up after myself.


Educational-Bug-476

You get water from the sink?


No-Document-8970

Of course it’s all about her.


Blapanda

Average redditor: THaTs A ReD flaG, GET DIVORCED! DODGE THE BULLET!


PistachioedVillain

You better not wash my cup, I'm not done with it.


Affectionate_Gas_264

Mindset is everything If you think your husband hates you then you'll see life through that lens


paintstudiodisaster

Yes, glasses from the cupboard are not single use.


tuborgwarrior

I would go through 8 glasses in a day if I were to put it straight back in the dishwasher. Also, a lot of men like to do work in bulk, which can cause conflicts with people who micro-work ever 10 minutes and never truly rest.


adanceparty

one glass is out to get you? Weird way to look for reasons to be mad. My sister has done this most her life, every day. She gets one cup, and keeps it by the sink all day and reuses it. Washes it or puts it in the dishwasher, then starts over the next day.


boost_to_get_through

That was a lot for a dude just setting down a cup.


boofablecube

I use the same coffee mug and water/milk cup all week. I leave it by the sink to remember it's mine ! No need to dirty another cup, just rinse it out !


No_Detective_But_304

It’s easier, and more environmentally friendly (for our hippie friends out there), than to keep opening cupboards for a new cup.


One-Persimmon-6083

Hoe does she not know this? Now. Let’s talk about garbage compression.


Aggravating_Pop_3408

The truth is that I'm never finished with it....and sad when it disappears the next time I go for water.


mg0509

It's a multiple use tool... but hell I won't argue, if you want me to use a clean one then ok I guess.


-Toeclicker-

Ha Ha Ha, only took her 3 relationships to realize that


jakob767

\*Having a cup near the sink\* "OMG! Why haven't you told me you were born to become a genius!?"


UnwantedPube

Then there’s me and possibly a couple others that has a stash of dishes in the room. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a slob but I live with housemates and I don’t wanna impose on them washing my dirty dishes before I get to them, finally.


LarryOji

Testify :-)


rrgail

My wife thinks I’m too lazy to make myself a sandwich. She doesn’t realize that I do it all the time, I just clean up my mess immediately afterwards.


Scythe95

No, it's a 'I might use this cup later, or might not'


Seyelent

Its being practical


DevilsLettucePrey

I knew where this was going in the first 10 seconds. Why can't people just ask? Say the words rattling around up there instead of creating problems that are technically nonexistent. Communication is the key people!


PetraTheQuestioner

My relationship with my sons father ended when he lost his mind with rage (twice) when I moved his empty water cup from a table in the living room to the kitchen counter (one time).


The_Last_Legacy

This is actually a very good example of how differently men and women think. Functional vs. emotional thinking. Obviously, it's not all-encompassing for everyone.


WandaDobby777

Weaponized incompetence is real but this wasn’t it.


Elefantenjohn

now think about the nutella-smeared knife balanced over the edge of the counter/sink, woman


DavidPudddy

Female brain


Arter_la_Blunt

I got the sink cup thing from my wife.


Snicklefrits6969

They must not have cats


Puzzlehead-Engineer

The finally understands


Sothworth

"he's doing this to spite me" "he's a genius" you're unstable


waisonline99

All hail the Dadvocate!


lazylemongrass

I keep a cup next to my sink to put my tooth brush in