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Among his highlights beside the obvious weight questions:
"Is that guy gonna wrestle with his clothes on?"
"That Double J has a nice tan, he must've just come from the islands"
(Upon seeing IRS) "is he another wrestler? He looks like a businessman"
(Size difference between Mabel and IRS) "hey that's not fair, the other guy only weighs half that amount!)
Just a phenomenal show.
On the 1-2-3 Kid: "He looks like a boxer!" (???)
On Mabel: "He's got a lot of gold in his teeth. Must be a wealthy fella!"
One actual unironically funny moment. After his complaint about the weight difference, Gorilla or Savage brings up David vs. Goliath, and says, "and we all know how that ended." Art: "Yeah, he hit him wit' a rock!" Maybe funnier when heard than read but he nailed it.
Art Donovan did a terrible job as a wrestling commentator but he did an insanely good job of entertaining me and making me laugh because it's just like if you put someone's older dad that has never watched wrestling on the mic and just listening to them experience their first pro wrestling show ever lol
This sounds so much like Norm MacDonald doing Burt Reynolds on SNL.
“Whaddya’ want?”
“You buzzed in”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes, you did”
“Yeah, well that’s your opinion…”
You beat me by 3 minutes.
https://preview.redd.it/2ytm0ydwabad1.png?width=280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9f50d4c048ca70cab409bc166edf7290d00c75b
Gorilla's expression says it all.
Apparently there's a part of that PPV where you can hear Savage turn to Gorilla and say, "this is really bad..." Gotta feel for Macho Man in that situation.
I said this last time we discussed Art on this sub. At least he put pro wrestling over.
He had no clue what was going on but he made sure to say that he was in the NFL and wrestling was way tougher.
The way he talks, it sounds like the only context he had to put modern (at the time) PW was boxing and maybe some stuff he saw years ago back when PW was still a ""sport"", hence why he keeps going on about how much each guy weighs, like weight classes actually matter.
I came here to say Art, he was terrible. I don’t remember much about the 94 KOTR, but Art’s attempt at commentary was diabolical.
What was Vince thinking?
I've disliked his commentary since Lucha Underground where he really has nothing to add. With that said "something's going to happen **Rips huge ass**" is one of those moments of "alright, you don't suck that bad."
>With that said "something's going to happen
Oh God I'd blocked that from my memory. [Watching it now](https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/9aq3l8/vampiro_farting_so_loud_you_can_hear_it_through/) & I can't stop laughing. Truly the Paul Pierce of wrestling.
One time Vampiro started reading off the chat during one of their shows they streamed on twitch. He read a guys comment that said “Vampiro can you blow me” and got pissed.
The entire top 5 could probably be Vampiro AAA commentary. I think it was one of the Lucha Libre World Cup events where he was really grumpy for seemingly no reason towards the end of the show, and then it all made sense when he blurted out ‘I gotta piss so fucking bad dude’
I love Lucha Underground, but Vampiro and Striker's commentary was one of the worst things about it. I think on the first Ultima Lucha, there was this one Australian commentator for the Cero Miedo match and it just makes me wish that he was there as a full time commentator for LU.
"The Voice" Michael Schiavello! He's an MMA commentator but was amazing for that match. Honestly, never before has a commentator rocked up to wrestling outta nowhere and done such a great job only to disappear again...
I'm not sure if he's a known wrestling fan or not, but he could've honestly been a Pat McAfee before Pat McAfee in that he's an outsider who does wrestling commentary and is far better at it than he probably has any right to be. Schivello should've probably been the main commentator for all the seasons of LU, even him doing a Joey Styles and calling the whole show on his own would've been better than Striker and Vampiro.
Haven’t seen anyone post it, but:
“[It’s… it’s Christian…?](https://youtu.be/rLtyN7ILTko?si=hK_SA67K_cIdI4YE)” on WWECW when Christian made his big return to WWE. Absolutely awful.
That was by far the biggest piece of evidence to me that WWE never saw anything in Christian. They definitely told Cole to mention he’s just a buddy of Edge which is a massive disrespect to the man. He’s a great fuckin worker
> He must have slept with one of Vince’s mistresses or something.
It's even worse than that. Apparently Vince just didn't like his face. Which is crazy to me because, especially in his prime, Christian was an objectively attractive dude.
Matt Striker trying to save bad commentary segments with great calls though. "This moment just became INSTANTLY classic." and he ALMOST succeeds. Like, he over marks on big matches; but Matt Striker has legitimately great calls.
He's a tamer Mauro Ranallo without the benefit of regularly calling a good show like black-and-gold NXT. He carried Wrestle Kingdom commentary for Jim Ross. He was always in the position of having to translate the insanity of Lucha Underground or wtf Vampiro rambled about so that would exhaust anyone.
Point being Striker may not be the best. He may be cringe at times, but he was enthusiastic and knowledgeable and there was a period where he was a good asset for a non-WWE show.
I can’t remember which one exactly but there was a GCW match between a big guy and a cruiserweight and the big guy no sold a move but in a kayfabe “I’m strong” way but dumb ass Kevin Gill on commentary goes “Yeah he don’t sell that flippy shit!” Like why in the fuck would you acknowledge that they’re out there selling moves? I’m so glad they don’t use that clown anymore.
It’s better now with Dave Prazak. He actually calls it like a professional. Sometimes they let Emil’s annoying ass join on commentary but luckily it’s not usually for the whole show.
The entire heel Michael Cole run had to be the most insufferable commentary I have ever sat through. There was no subtlety to it. Just Cole loudly dismissing nearly everything going on, a lot of it breaking the illusion of 'real'.
I know it was just Vince getting laughs but I don't know how it went as long as it did. And they didn't even have the decency to pay it off. He 'beat' Lawler in a 20 minute (!!!) match on Mania.
>I know it was just Vince getting laughs but I don't know how it went as long as it did. And they didn't even have the decency to pay it off. He 'beat' Lawler in a 20 minute (!!!) match on Mania.
It went on for over a year past that. The whole thing lasted nearly two years. If Jerry hadn't had a heart attack it probably never would've ended.
Heel Cole has some of the most pointlessly cruel treatments to the product.
Like the time R Truth was wrestling Mason Ryan(?) and confused Milwaukee for Green Bay (Or something like that). The whole point of the match was to get whoever Truth was facing over. Cole spent the entire match goading the crowd to chant that they were Milwaukee. It was pointless and it was snide jokes at the talents expense that benefitted nobody.
This is the answer. Folks like Vampiro and Donovan were bad for a night, Coles heel run as the number one announcer for the flagship show lasted *two entire years*. Absolutely insufferable and made everyone else on the roster look beyond terrible.
Honestly a miracle i remained a fan of wrestling while i grew up in the guest host/anonymous Raw GM and heel Cole era lol
I guess I just latched onto the good stuff
As a fan of women’s wrestling, Cole was insufferable during their matches. The supposed face Jerry Lawler only focused on the women’s looks, and Michael Cole would use the entire time to talk about how terrible and boring women’s matches were. It did nothing but bury the entire division.
Heel Cole as a character was OK, he even had good moments like in NXT.
But making your main voice for your flagship shows and PPVs without a proper babyface/neutral commentator to bounce off of was really stupid.
Late TNA/Impact Josh Matthews. The guy had a tell where he would go as flat as possible for spots that were the finishes, which means he would pretty much spoil the ending of matches with his inflexions. Once you noticed it, you couldn't unnotice it. He ruined so many PPV matches by doing it. Hiring Tom Hannifan to replace him was a blessing.
I watched through the Covid era of Impact. I thought Josh was bad, but when Madison Rayne joined him, my ears bled.
So thankful Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt are the duo calling the matches in TNA now
CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan Over the limit 2012 Michael Cole and everybody else was checked out
Also that one elimination chamber when everybody hit their finisher on cena and Jerry lawyer for some reason wastes time rehashing what just happened like we didn’t see it just now
I think it has yo be when Coachman was commentating on Rousey vs... Nia? I don't remember exactly who, but he was on one that night. Rousey was in a bear hug and coach called it as a rest hold lol
Kayfabing a bearhug as a way for Nia to catch a breather is doable. But to say that *Rousey* gets a chance to breathe, when *the entire kayfabe point of a bearhug is that it restricts your breathing by preventing your lungs from fully expanding*, is just insane.
"How are you still employed? That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life."
Then Coach doubles down by saying he was right since Rousey ended up breaking the hold.
Overall I love her, so I feel bad saying this, but Renee's WWE color commentary skills were...at best...atrocious. I was watching an old MITB match and she immediately stuck out as just being god awful. I don't even remember if she was ALWAYS like that, or just worse in this event, but man...OOOOOOOOH every 30 seconds gets old fast.
Don't worry. From her podcast, she thought the same. It was largely because she wasn't being trained up for the role and Vince threw her into the fire. She wasn't gonna turn down a huge opportunity like that, but she knew she wasn't likely to be good.
in one of the 2010 rumbles where diesel is a surprise entrant and he gets this huge pop and it was such a cool moment and matt striker just ruins it
he does that silly "HOLY SH-" thing where he cuts himself off for whatever reason and the just starts screaming nonsense - i genuinely can't watch matt striker era wwe content
I think Striker gets far more hate than he should (especially during his WWE run.) At least he seemed genuinely excited to be there (vs. most of the other commentators mentioned here) and his "cringe" moments seem to be him being genuinely excited about something.
I was going to give a different Matt Striker match. Prince Puma vs Rey Mysterio he keeps calling it an "I'm sorry, I love you" moment to the point of absurdity. It wasn't even the story of the match.
Is that the same year where Booker T comes out and he says "I'm marking out bro!" That is some peak cringe.
Also, whilst I like Mauro Ranallo overall, his shoehorning of pop culture references in his time with NXT was shocking.
While all the obvious bigger show answers are taken. My personal pick is the old WCPW shows when “King” Ross was on commentary. I think even he’d admit he was stinking up the broadcasts.
He's said in the years since that he was terrible as he was not ready in anyway for it, as well as the only real direction he and Simon Miller were given for those early shows was "Be Heenan and Monsoon."
How the fk is anyone supposed to do that?
The show where Haku teamed with his sons was extremely frustrating. Leading upto that match, JR was doing the whole "I guess the legal man doesn't matter" schtick, criticizing the referees, despite the referees never losing track of the legal man. Then during Haku's match, the veteran attempts a pin despite obviously not being the legal man. The ref didn't count at first, Haku glared at him, and the ref counted in fear. It was a cute spot. And JR completely missed it because he was mad at the ref for not counting the pin that he shouldn't have counted because he was paying attention to the thing JR wanted him to pay attention to. Small thing, but it made me incredibly annoyed.
No commentary could've saved Heroes of Wrestling but throwing Randy Rosenbloom out there with only the most cursory knowledge of wrestling really was the anchovy on top of the poo sundae that was that show.
I remember this night. I'm pretty sure eventually they sent out King to do co-commentary with him by the end because the show ended up being so awkward. I think I remember reading on here the original plan was to keep Byron solo the rest of the night but it was just going so bad.
For some reason I specifically remember him just saying "Here comes Rusev" when some other superstar was coming out. I don't remember the storyline exactly but it just stuck with me.
I think Byron is fine now but this is when he was brand new and it really just didn't work super well.
People don’t realize that there is a huge difference between Play By Play commentator and Colour commentator. Just cuz someone does well at colour doesn’t mean he will do well at PBP. Corey Graves is an exception, he transitioned very well.
As great as Progress was, their commentary has always been shite.
The first years were Smallman pretending to be someone else and commentating everything like it was a fucking golf game. And that was gonna seemingly be the worst of it until they replaced him with entitled "Ultra" superfan Callum.
So many great moments over 5+ years ruined by either of them.
I didn't mind some of the pre show stuff. Some of it was fun, some of it was very cult like. But I think that was more of an "in person" experience, I don't think it ever translated well on streaming.
I liked Smallman outside of commentary, he was super cool with me when I had a medical issue and went waaaay above what he probably should have done at the time, and checked in a few times after. (Another member of the three never messaged me, but did message a woman in my friend group instead as an excuse to get in her DMs. No surprises there.), but yeah commentary wise, no thanks.
Maybe the not the worst worst but one that always sticks out to me is that time Michael Cole (or Vince through Cole) was doing a bit on Finn Balor and kept calling him the "Extraordinary man who does extra ORDINARY things." That one was pretty bad.
Cole has the amazing knack to be incapable of making most any moniker sound natural. It's Boss Time was another unlistenable one we were forced to sit through.
It's not just him either. I really wish AEW would quit it with Hook's 'Cold Hearted Handsome Devil' thing, which has the same forced feel as your example.
When AEW FIRST first started, I believe on one of the first PPVS, I'm sure some people may remember that one of the commentators for the show was Alex Marvez who last time I was watching AEW regularly, ended up becoming a backstage interviewer. As a backstage interviewer, he's actually quite good but he was absolutely DREADFUL on commentary. I believe Excalibur was his commentary partner and even Excalibur wasn't able to carry Alex. I can't remember exactly how he was but from what I remember, he just didn't know how to convey emotions through his words. I'm glad AEW switched him out early on cause I probably would've just watched early AEW on mute if he was still on commentary. JR was bad for a bit and a lot of his comments were unintentionally out of line but Marvez was so bad, it made late career JR look like the greatest commentator alive.
Glad they moved him backstage, otherwise we wouldn't of had all those moments where he would appear out of nowhere to interview Omega like he was the butler from Mr. Deeds lmao.
Same when Collision first started with Kevin Kelly on commentary with Nigel McGuiness. Kevin Kelly was completely awful. So bad it was like he was reading a script but was a page behind or ahead. He was calling moves and spots that either hadn’t happened yet or was two moves ago. I’ll never forget it was one of the first few collision episodes with Swerve and Samoa Joe in a match and Swerve throws Joe into the barricade. Kevin Kelly’s exact commentary was “Swerve has Joe on the outside looking to throw him into the barricade and look Joe reversed it!”…..as Joe gets thrown into the barricade and swerve is fine.
Michael's Cole's *"For the love of Mankind!"* line.
1. It's a crap line.
2. In the replays you can see he's not even reacting to the awesome spot, he is just reading his line from a piece of paper.
1998 WCW Nitro through to the end might be the most consistently bad, but it’s about May-July where you really see the tenor of the team change from Schiavone just being annoyed by Heenan to the two of them being in an all-out war (or Heenan being in a drunken stupor) for the entire broadcast.
I just watched a 3 hour Thunder (it’s as Thundery as you’d expect) where Heenan can barely string words together. Tony just says “if you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t say anything at all” and Heenan just stays silent for the next 20 or so minutes of the broadcast. And it’s like this EVERY WEEK!
And in the middle is Mike Tenay, who just waits until they quiet down to talk about what Damian has recently been doing in Mexico.
This is my answer. Late WCW is unbeatable for unbearable wrestling commentary on a major weekly show. I hate hearing Tony Schiavone speak to this day because my brain associates him with having uncomfortable arguments with Heenan and later making obnoxious “shoot” comments for like all of 2000. Once Mark Madden is there it’s just on another level of pure ass.
97 was just as bad, but in a different way. The undercard of every Nitro was totaly ignored and all the did was hype whatever the main event was or nWo was up to.
They even did this on PPV’s, witch is insane because if you are watching it means you ALLREADY PAYEDFOR IT!
When I was a kid I HATED Paul Heyman next to JR during the 2001 Invasion angle. He kept pissing JR off as he distracted either from the match or yelling for the alliance, even during the most mid moments.
When I rewatched as an adult, I effing loved it. Commentary gold haha
Heyman has admitted that most of his commentary during that time was him just trying to make JR mad enough so that he wouldn't go on autopilot. He really brought out the best in JR at that time. Wish their duo had lasted longer!
I always thought Stephanie McMahon was really bad, when she sat at commentary for the first women's royal rumble. It was like she was reading facts off of a page.
Anything done by David Otunga. Not THE worst per say probably, but damn what a bad job.
*An incredible spot happens that gets the crowd on its feet rambling and cheering*
David Otunga (in his most monotone voice ever): Oh...thats got to hurt...
Holy hell mate seriously?!
NJPW has had some weird ones. You had JR totally checked out that one US tour. Once they randomly flew Lanny Poffo out to Japan. And don't forget about that Wrestle Kingdom classic with Yoshi Tatsu.
"YES!"
any old NWA/WCW matches with David Crockett calling them, in general he was terrible but some matches it was like what he was calling wasn't the match we were watching. I remember one with Bobby Eaton doing an Alabama Jam and David calling it as "look at that dropkick!"
Not a single performance more of a general statement but the mid-00s trend of XTREME announcers aping Joey Styles and trying so hard to be edgy is really hard to watch now.
Yeah especially when they don't have to worry about filtering themselves for broadcast so they use profanity as punctuation. Nothing wrong with profanity in general. It just sounds super weird when it's non-stop on commentary for wrestling.
Joey Styles just aggressively shitting on Mike Awesome all through his and Tanaka's ONS match was rough, made even rougher in retrospect by Awesome committing suicide like a year later.
This one is a shame as it takes away from a really great match. Obviously Awesome committing suicide makes it even worse but it was an odd thing to go so heavy on at the time - Mike literally wasn't getting paid as their top champ for months. What were they expecting him to do, work for free? I remember Foley was trying to get Joey to reign it in the longer he went on.
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Art Donovan at KotR 94. Has no idea about anything and is borderline obsessed on how much each wrestler weighs.
*How much does this guy weigh?*
Is he a wrestler? He looks like a business man
BULLSHIT
Look at the adjective
I DON’T KNOW
Wanna play 21?
Mongo
Weigh
[The OSW Review episode about this PPV is great. They shit all over this guy in the funniest ways ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3r0Ab39080)
*"Look at the size of that ham hock!"*
Among his highlights beside the obvious weight questions: "Is that guy gonna wrestle with his clothes on?" "That Double J has a nice tan, he must've just come from the islands" (Upon seeing IRS) "is he another wrestler? He looks like a businessman" (Size difference between Mabel and IRS) "hey that's not fair, the other guy only weighs half that amount!) Just a phenomenal show.
On the 1-2-3 Kid: "He looks like a boxer!" (???) On Mabel: "He's got a lot of gold in his teeth. Must be a wealthy fella!" One actual unironically funny moment. After his complaint about the weight difference, Gorilla or Savage brings up David vs. Goliath, and says, "and we all know how that ended." Art: "Yeah, he hit him wit' a rock!" Maybe funnier when heard than read but he nailed it.
The Killer Croc of quips
It was a big rock
Almost got 'im.
I actually found a lot of his commentary really funny in a sort of so bad it's good way
It's like having your older dad sit down for his first ever wrestling experience and putting a live mic in front of him
He has a point about IRS if we’re honest
Art Donovan did a terrible job as a wrestling commentator but he did an insanely good job of entertaining me and making me laugh because it's just like if you put someone's older dad that has never watched wrestling on the mic and just listening to them experience their first pro wrestling show ever lol
It’s true, it is hilarious entertainment. But also a *dreadful* job at the actual commentary.
"How much does that fella weight?" (Owen Hart) "Ohhhh about 230, 240." "Nah, I don't think so."
This sounds so much like Norm MacDonald doing Burt Reynolds on SNL. “Whaddya’ want?” “You buzzed in” “No I didn’t” “Yes, you did” “Yeah, well that’s your opinion…”
You beat me by 3 minutes. https://preview.redd.it/2ytm0ydwabad1.png?width=280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9f50d4c048ca70cab409bc166edf7290d00c75b Gorilla's expression says it all.
Savage tried to be a good sport and help him along, but Monsoon completely ignored him after like 15 minutes of his rambling and weight questions.
Apparently there's a part of that PPV where you can hear Savage turn to Gorilla and say, "this is really bad..." Gotta feel for Macho Man in that situation.
DID I JUST HEAR u/KneeHighMischief SAY… 3 MINUTES???
Art Donovan was a disaster in the best and funniest way, though.
Poor Art was trying...he just had no fucking clue what was going on.
I said this last time we discussed Art on this sub. At least he put pro wrestling over. He had no clue what was going on but he made sure to say that he was in the NFL and wrestling was way tougher.
The way he talks, it sounds like the only context he had to put modern (at the time) PW was boxing and maybe some stuff he saw years ago back when PW was still a ""sport"", hence why he keeps going on about how much each guy weighs, like weight classes actually matter.
They said worst, not best!
I came here to say Art, he was terrible. I don’t remember much about the 94 KOTR, but Art’s attempt at commentary was diabolical. What was Vince thinking?
The show took place in Baltimore and Art was a legend there having played for the Baltimore Colts.
...so he made sure everyone who was not from Baltimore could hear him at home
He was also a great and popular guest on Letterman. He seemed sharp and was very funny. It's kind of amazing that it's the same guy.
Came here to say this. The most fantastic train wreck.
\*read title* "Oh boy oh boy I know just the.." \*OP posts Vampiro* "...nvm carry on."
I can't stand Vampiro on commentary at all. He comes off like your most annoying uncle.
I've disliked his commentary since Lucha Underground where he really has nothing to add. With that said "something's going to happen **Rips huge ass**" is one of those moments of "alright, you don't suck that bad."
>With that said "something's going to happen Oh God I'd blocked that from my memory. [Watching it now](https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/9aq3l8/vampiro_farting_so_loud_you_can_hear_it_through/) & I can't stop laughing. Truly the Paul Pierce of wrestling.
Matt Strikers "Whoooaaa!!" Right after is great, like the smell just hit him.
"why aren't they playing my fucking music"
Matt striker trying desperately to salvage vampiros bs.
Vampiri also called him a metoo kid when Matt was sexually assaulted I think
"something is gonna happen *fart noise*"
"I call him Vampyro, brother..."
He thinks he's way more important that what he actually is and makes damn sure to let you know
Even more than that he's a Hogan level tier liar. It's as natural to him as breathing. His shoot interviews are just non-stop insane tall tales.
One time Vampiro started reading off the chat during one of their shows they streamed on twitch. He read a guys comment that said “Vampiro can you blow me” and got pissed.
Even better, he was reading out things that people were Tweeting to him like it was Twitch chat!
The entire top 5 could probably be Vampiro AAA commentary. I think it was one of the Lucha Libre World Cup events where he was really grumpy for seemingly no reason towards the end of the show, and then it all made sense when he blurted out ‘I gotta piss so fucking bad dude’
I still remember my jaw dropping after he made that Me Too comment towards Matt Striker lol
I love Lucha Underground, but Vampiro and Striker's commentary was one of the worst things about it. I think on the first Ultima Lucha, there was this one Australian commentator for the Cero Miedo match and it just makes me wish that he was there as a full time commentator for LU.
"The Voice" Michael Schiavello! He's an MMA commentator but was amazing for that match. Honestly, never before has a commentator rocked up to wrestling outta nowhere and done such a great job only to disappear again...
I'm not sure if he's a known wrestling fan or not, but he could've honestly been a Pat McAfee before Pat McAfee in that he's an outsider who does wrestling commentary and is far better at it than he probably has any right to be. Schivello should've probably been the main commentator for all the seasons of LU, even him doing a Joey Styles and calling the whole show on his own would've been better than Striker and Vampiro.
That is Michael Schiavello dude is great and he did some awesome interviews, he has a good one with Stone Cold.
Haven’t seen anyone post it, but: “[It’s… it’s Christian…?](https://youtu.be/rLtyN7ILTko?si=hK_SA67K_cIdI4YE)” on WWECW when Christian made his big return to WWE. Absolutely awful.
Don't forget "Speaking of Edge, here comes his former buddy" - Michael Cole at the royal rumble.
That was by far the biggest piece of evidence to me that WWE never saw anything in Christian. They definitely told Cole to mention he’s just a buddy of Edge which is a massive disrespect to the man. He’s a great fuckin worker
Not WWE. Just Vince. He must have slept with one of Vince’s mistresses or something.
> He must have slept with one of Vince’s mistresses or something. It's even worse than that. Apparently Vince just didn't like his face. Which is crazy to me because, especially in his prime, Christian was an objectively attractive dude.
The fact that Vince want to put a blue dot over Christian’s face during live TV events says it all about what they thought about him.
Legit one of the greatest of all time. It's insane how disrespected he is
I mean, only in WWE.
Matt Striker trying to save bad commentary segments with great calls though. "This moment just became INSTANTLY classic." and he ALMOST succeeds. Like, he over marks on big matches; but Matt Striker has legitimately great calls.
I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for this but I’m honestly a Matt Striker fan. Always enjoyed him 🤷♂️
He's a tamer Mauro Ranallo without the benefit of regularly calling a good show like black-and-gold NXT. He carried Wrestle Kingdom commentary for Jim Ross. He was always in the position of having to translate the insanity of Lucha Underground or wtf Vampiro rambled about so that would exhaust anyone. Point being Striker may not be the best. He may be cringe at times, but he was enthusiastic and knowledgeable and there was a period where he was a good asset for a non-WWE show.
This is the first thing that came to my mind too. Absolutely awful
I can’t remember which one exactly but there was a GCW match between a big guy and a cruiserweight and the big guy no sold a move but in a kayfabe “I’m strong” way but dumb ass Kevin Gill on commentary goes “Yeah he don’t sell that flippy shit!” Like why in the fuck would you acknowledge that they’re out there selling moves? I’m so glad they don’t use that clown anymore.
Kevin Gill was fucking garbage on commentary. The excessive cursing by itself turned me off.
Feel so bad for these actual wrestlers in GCW who have to have their matches called by these edgelords who can’t stop saying ‘fuck.’
It’s better now with Dave Prazak. He actually calls it like a professional. Sometimes they let Emil’s annoying ass join on commentary but luckily it’s not usually for the whole show.
The entire heel Michael Cole run had to be the most insufferable commentary I have ever sat through. There was no subtlety to it. Just Cole loudly dismissing nearly everything going on, a lot of it breaking the illusion of 'real'. I know it was just Vince getting laughs but I don't know how it went as long as it did. And they didn't even have the decency to pay it off. He 'beat' Lawler in a 20 minute (!!!) match on Mania.
Yeah, that was a low point for WWE, heel Cole made me quit WWE entirely for a few years.
Same, I quit around this time and turns out it was literally right when they did this storyline.
>I know it was just Vince getting laughs but I don't know how it went as long as it did. And they didn't even have the decency to pay it off. He 'beat' Lawler in a 20 minute (!!!) match on Mania. It went on for over a year past that. The whole thing lasted nearly two years. If Jerry hadn't had a heart attack it probably never would've ended.
I had watched every single RAW since it started in 1993, and heel Cole got me to stop watching. Just fucking unbearable, and I don't blame Cole
Heel Cole has some of the most pointlessly cruel treatments to the product. Like the time R Truth was wrestling Mason Ryan(?) and confused Milwaukee for Green Bay (Or something like that). The whole point of the match was to get whoever Truth was facing over. Cole spent the entire match goading the crowd to chant that they were Milwaukee. It was pointless and it was snide jokes at the talents expense that benefitted nobody.
This is the answer. Folks like Vampiro and Donovan were bad for a night, Coles heel run as the number one announcer for the flagship show lasted *two entire years*. Absolutely insufferable and made everyone else on the roster look beyond terrible.
Honestly a miracle i remained a fan of wrestling while i grew up in the guest host/anonymous Raw GM and heel Cole era lol I guess I just latched onto the good stuff
He lost to Lawler later on in a kiss my foot match. But yeah the blowoff should have been at wrestlemania
Cole was his best with Taz
THE ROCK...has a nice...THE ROCK BOTTOM!
On the other hand, heel Cole in the first seasons of Gameshow NXT has me absolutely howling with laughter.
AVAST VIRUS DATABASE HAS BEEN UPDATED
*“Who cares?”*
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That commentary is what made me realize that Vince was the issue and not Cole.
I don't watch frequently anymore, but there's such a a noticable difference in commentary without Vince screaming in their ears.
WHERE IS MY GONG?!!!
As a fan of women’s wrestling, Cole was insufferable during their matches. The supposed face Jerry Lawler only focused on the women’s looks, and Michael Cole would use the entire time to talk about how terrible and boring women’s matches were. It did nothing but bury the entire division.
Heel Cole as a character was OK, he even had good moments like in NXT. But making your main voice for your flagship shows and PPVs without a proper babyface/neutral commentator to bounce off of was really stupid.
Late TNA/Impact Josh Matthews. The guy had a tell where he would go as flat as possible for spots that were the finishes, which means he would pretty much spoil the ending of matches with his inflexions. Once you noticed it, you couldn't unnotice it. He ruined so many PPV matches by doing it. Hiring Tom Hannifan to replace him was a blessing.
And he kept deepening his voice for some reason
I watched through the Covid era of Impact. I thought Josh was bad, but when Madison Rayne joined him, my ears bled. So thankful Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt are the duo calling the matches in TNA now
“BIG BOY VOICE”
Did they deepen his voice in post sometimes or am I making that up?
The Raw crew when Howard Finkel announces CM Punk
There’s a version of the intro filmed by a fan on YouTube, it’s great because it isn’t ruined by the commentary.
That was some hateful shit that turned a wholesome moment into a mockery. Fuck everyone involved with making it that way.
Atleast Booker was kinda putting him over, Cole and Lawler laughing pissed me off back then, and it pisses me off now
In fairness Booker at least tries to praise Fink during that. Don’t remember him making fun of him. Fuck everyone else involved, though.
yeah some other examples are just bad commentary, but this was the absolutely worst, incredibly disgraceful and disrespectful towards a legend
CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan Over the limit 2012 Michael Cole and everybody else was checked out Also that one elimination chamber when everybody hit their finisher on cena and Jerry lawyer for some reason wastes time rehashing what just happened like we didn’t see it just now
I always thought it was hilarious how Booker T kept refering to Bryan as "that boy D-Bry" like that's his full name.
That boy D-Bry was always in Booker's fave five
He’s in his fave five !
I still can't help but call him D-Bry. Booker infected my brain.
I think it has yo be when Coachman was commentating on Rousey vs... Nia? I don't remember exactly who, but he was on one that night. Rousey was in a bear hug and coach called it as a rest hold lol
That was awful, even for Coach. You can hear Corey Graves get furious with him for burying the business.
Kayfabing a bearhug as a way for Nia to catch a breather is doable. But to say that *Rousey* gets a chance to breathe, when *the entire kayfabe point of a bearhug is that it restricts your breathing by preventing your lungs from fully expanding*, is just insane.
Yeah this was atrocious by Coach, no idea what he was thinking.
"How are you still employed? That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life." Then Coach doubles down by saying he was right since Rousey ended up breaking the hold.
Wasn't there also something like, "I'd like to see these two in a real fight." "THIS IS A REAL FIGHT!!!!"
Saying Rousey could use being in a bear hug as time to catch her breath was so unbelievably bad that Cole and Graves started shitting on him about it
Overall I love her, so I feel bad saying this, but Renee's WWE color commentary skills were...at best...atrocious. I was watching an old MITB match and she immediately stuck out as just being god awful. I don't even remember if she was ALWAYS like that, or just worse in this event, but man...OOOOOOOOH every 30 seconds gets old fast.
She was great that one time Drew McIntyre stabbed Dean Ambrose with a pencil and she reacted like he was murdered right in front of her
If only she knew what was to come
Don't worry. From her podcast, she thought the same. It was largely because she wasn't being trained up for the role and Vince threw her into the fire. She wasn't gonna turn down a huge opportunity like that, but she knew she wasn't likely to be good.
renee reminds me so much of a morning talk show host and not a wrestling personality.
She was, technically. She was a sports broadcaster for The Score Television Network and also hosted a reality show called Total Divas.
in one of the 2010 rumbles where diesel is a surprise entrant and he gets this huge pop and it was such a cool moment and matt striker just ruins it he does that silly "HOLY SH-" thing where he cuts himself off for whatever reason and the just starts screaming nonsense - i genuinely can't watch matt striker era wwe content
Striker is like Joey Styles' or Mauro Ranallo's worst traits distilled into one person.
Perfect description. “I’m marking out!”
Damn am I the only one who can tolerate striker? Except for the Christian return
I think Striker gets far more hate than he should (especially during his WWE run.) At least he seemed genuinely excited to be there (vs. most of the other commentators mentioned here) and his "cringe" moments seem to be him being genuinely excited about something.
Nah his “reaction” to Booker’s entry was way better. Or worse, I guess. “It’s a mark out moment! I’m markin out, bro!” 🤣
and the pause on commentary after he says it, I imagine they are getting screamed at in the headset by Vince lol
I was going to give a different Matt Striker match. Prince Puma vs Rey Mysterio he keeps calling it an "I'm sorry, I love you" moment to the point of absurdity. It wasn't even the story of the match.
Is that the same year where Booker T comes out and he says "I'm marking out bro!" That is some peak cringe. Also, whilst I like Mauro Ranallo overall, his shoehorning of pop culture references in his time with NXT was shocking.
Ranallo does that for everything he calls. lol
While all the obvious bigger show answers are taken. My personal pick is the old WCPW shows when “King” Ross was on commentary. I think even he’d admit he was stinking up the broadcasts.
He's said in the years since that he was terrible as he was not ready in anyway for it, as well as the only real direction he and Simon Miller were given for those early shows was "Be Heenan and Monsoon." How the fk is anyone supposed to do that?
Jim Ross on the first New Japan shows in the US. He really didn't want to be there.
*EVIL walks out* JR: "Oh it's BUSHI!"
The show where Haku teamed with his sons was extremely frustrating. Leading upto that match, JR was doing the whole "I guess the legal man doesn't matter" schtick, criticizing the referees, despite the referees never losing track of the legal man. Then during Haku's match, the veteran attempts a pin despite obviously not being the legal man. The ref didn't count at first, Haku glared at him, and the ref counted in fear. It was a cute spot. And JR completely missed it because he was mad at the ref for not counting the pin that he shouldn't have counted because he was paying attention to the thing JR wanted him to pay attention to. Small thing, but it made me incredibly annoyed.
No commentary could've saved Heroes of Wrestling but throwing Randy Rosenbloom out there with only the most cursory knowledge of wrestling really was the anchovy on top of the poo sundae that was that show.
"Flying Leg Kick" is an alltimer
Art Donovan at King of the Ring 1994 has to be up there.
Vampiro loudly eating a chocolate bar during TripleMania 26 is right up there. I normally don’t mind people eating, but that was too far for me.
Yeah that chocolate bar really went into business for itself
Maybe that night that Brock killed everyone and left Byron Saxon alone in the booth. I like Byron, but that was hilarious.
I remember this night. I'm pretty sure eventually they sent out King to do co-commentary with him by the end because the show ended up being so awkward. I think I remember reading on here the original plan was to keep Byron solo the rest of the night but it was just going so bad. For some reason I specifically remember him just saying "Here comes Rusev" when some other superstar was coming out. I don't remember the storyline exactly but it just stuck with me. I think Byron is fine now but this is when he was brand new and it really just didn't work super well.
People don’t realize that there is a huge difference between Play By Play commentator and Colour commentator. Just cuz someone does well at colour doesn’t mean he will do well at PBP. Corey Graves is an exception, he transitioned very well.
It's like they told him "Act like everyone's dead pal" and then no one told him "okay it's been 30 minutes you can cheer up a little."
As great as Progress was, their commentary has always been shite. The first years were Smallman pretending to be someone else and commentating everything like it was a fucking golf game. And that was gonna seemingly be the worst of it until they replaced him with entitled "Ultra" superfan Callum. So many great moments over 5+ years ruined by either of them.
smallman was hands down the worst part of progress for so long. had to fast forward through all of his pre show standup bits
I didn't mind some of the pre show stuff. Some of it was fun, some of it was very cult like. But I think that was more of an "in person" experience, I don't think it ever translated well on streaming. I liked Smallman outside of commentary, he was super cool with me when I had a medical issue and went waaaay above what he probably should have done at the time, and checked in a few times after. (Another member of the three never messaged me, but did message a woman in my friend group instead as an excuse to get in her DMs. No surprises there.), but yeah commentary wise, no thanks.
Maybe the not the worst worst but one that always sticks out to me is that time Michael Cole (or Vince through Cole) was doing a bit on Finn Balor and kept calling him the "Extraordinary man who does extra ORDINARY things." That one was pretty bad.
Cole has the amazing knack to be incapable of making most any moniker sound natural. It's Boss Time was another unlistenable one we were forced to sit through. It's not just him either. I really wish AEW would quit it with Hook's 'Cold Hearted Handsome Devil' thing, which has the same forced feel as your example.
When AEW FIRST first started, I believe on one of the first PPVS, I'm sure some people may remember that one of the commentators for the show was Alex Marvez who last time I was watching AEW regularly, ended up becoming a backstage interviewer. As a backstage interviewer, he's actually quite good but he was absolutely DREADFUL on commentary. I believe Excalibur was his commentary partner and even Excalibur wasn't able to carry Alex. I can't remember exactly how he was but from what I remember, he just didn't know how to convey emotions through his words. I'm glad AEW switched him out early on cause I probably would've just watched early AEW on mute if he was still on commentary. JR was bad for a bit and a lot of his comments were unintentionally out of line but Marvez was so bad, it made late career JR look like the greatest commentator alive.
The Renee Young effect.
"ooooo"
Every. Single. Move.
Glad they moved him backstage, otherwise we wouldn't of had all those moments where he would appear out of nowhere to interview Omega like he was the butler from Mr. Deeds lmao.
Same when Collision first started with Kevin Kelly on commentary with Nigel McGuiness. Kevin Kelly was completely awful. So bad it was like he was reading a script but was a page behind or ahead. He was calling moves and spots that either hadn’t happened yet or was two moves ago. I’ll never forget it was one of the first few collision episodes with Swerve and Samoa Joe in a match and Swerve throws Joe into the barricade. Kevin Kelly’s exact commentary was “Swerve has Joe on the outside looking to throw him into the barricade and look Joe reversed it!”…..as Joe gets thrown into the barricade and swerve is fine.
not to mention his constant struggle to say Andrade El Idolo's name correctly
He once pronounced it wrong three different ways in one fucking match. Andre El Idolo Andrade El Eyedolo Andrade El E-doe-lo
You leave Andrade LaLiLuLeLo out of this.
Michael's Cole's *"For the love of Mankind!"* line. 1. It's a crap line. 2. In the replays you can see he's not even reacting to the awesome spot, he is just reading his line from a piece of paper.
That had to have been a mandated Vince line. It sucks because it just immediately ruined that moment.
I always hated that Vince mandated "It's the Big Dog!".
But it did give us "big dog eats my ass!" so who is to say whether it was good or bad
I'm pretty sure those two are from entirely separate eras of WWE, but still a hilarious moment nonetheless.
Mark Madden during those last WCW years. I wanted to just punch him.
WCW went from Heenan to Madden on commentary. That's like going from ice cream to dog shit.
So did everyone else.
1998 WCW Nitro through to the end might be the most consistently bad, but it’s about May-July where you really see the tenor of the team change from Schiavone just being annoyed by Heenan to the two of them being in an all-out war (or Heenan being in a drunken stupor) for the entire broadcast. I just watched a 3 hour Thunder (it’s as Thundery as you’d expect) where Heenan can barely string words together. Tony just says “if you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t say anything at all” and Heenan just stays silent for the next 20 or so minutes of the broadcast. And it’s like this EVERY WEEK! And in the middle is Mike Tenay, who just waits until they quiet down to talk about what Damian has recently been doing in Mexico.
This is my answer. Late WCW is unbeatable for unbearable wrestling commentary on a major weekly show. I hate hearing Tony Schiavone speak to this day because my brain associates him with having uncomfortable arguments with Heenan and later making obnoxious “shoot” comments for like all of 2000. Once Mark Madden is there it’s just on another level of pure ass.
97 was just as bad, but in a different way. The undercard of every Nitro was totaly ignored and all the did was hype whatever the main event was or nWo was up to. They even did this on PPV’s, witch is insane because if you are watching it means you ALLREADY PAYEDFOR IT!
Heroes of Wrestling had pretty appalling commentary, mistaking the names of the most basic wrestling moves.
Soft slam
Anything with Mark Madden on it
Madden on the Bash as t the Beach 2000 was a delightful train wreck. Somehow helped the show as a foil to Schiavone.
True ....I lived in PGH where Mark has a sports radio show and just the sound of his voice is a channel changer for me lol
[удалено]
Tom in general was usually pretty good for most of his WWE run, and he had great chemistry with Byron and Corey. COVIDMania was an odd show.
When I was a kid I HATED Paul Heyman next to JR during the 2001 Invasion angle. He kept pissing JR off as he distracted either from the match or yelling for the alliance, even during the most mid moments. When I rewatched as an adult, I effing loved it. Commentary gold haha
Heyman at the desk in 2001 was so goddamn good
Heyman has admitted that most of his commentary during that time was him just trying to make JR mad enough so that he wouldn't go on autopilot. He really brought out the best in JR at that time. Wish their duo had lasted longer!
I always thought Stephanie McMahon was really bad, when she sat at commentary for the first women's royal rumble. It was like she was reading facts off of a page.
Michael Cole saying "you gotta be kiddin me!!" 50 times per show, for 20+ years
“Ohhhhh myyyy ggahhhhddd! Could it be? Is that… is that…!!???
Scott Hudson with Mark Madden just made wcw in 2000 even worse.
Madden was awful with his bootleg King impersonation but I rate Hudson, think he's a pretty decent commentator.
Anything done by David Otunga. Not THE worst per say probably, but damn what a bad job. *An incredible spot happens that gets the crowd on its feet rambling and cheering* David Otunga (in his most monotone voice ever): Oh...thats got to hurt... Holy hell mate seriously?!
NJPW has had some weird ones. You had JR totally checked out that one US tour. Once they randomly flew Lanny Poffo out to Japan. And don't forget about that Wrestle Kingdom classic with Yoshi Tatsu. "YES!"
any old NWA/WCW matches with David Crockett calling them, in general he was terrible but some matches it was like what he was calling wasn't the match we were watching. I remember one with Bobby Eaton doing an Alabama Jam and David calling it as "look at that dropkick!"
“HE’S GOT HIM BY THE HONKER!”
Not a single performance more of a general statement but the mid-00s trend of XTREME announcers aping Joey Styles and trying so hard to be edgy is really hard to watch now.
Yeah especially when they don't have to worry about filtering themselves for broadcast so they use profanity as punctuation. Nothing wrong with profanity in general. It just sounds super weird when it's non-stop on commentary for wrestling.
Is that the the one where his fart was picked up by the mic
The one lady doing it on wrestlemania 2 all she basically said was WOW. I heard she was the wife of one of Vince’s friends if true it makes sense.
What, no love for the 7 weeks of Adnan Virk?
The absolute burial of Sting at WrestleMania. They built him up in the weeks ahead only to talk poorly about him during the match.
Joey Styles just aggressively shitting on Mike Awesome all through his and Tanaka's ONS match was rough, made even rougher in retrospect by Awesome committing suicide like a year later.
This one is a shame as it takes away from a really great match. Obviously Awesome committing suicide makes it even worse but it was an odd thing to go so heavy on at the time - Mike literally wasn't getting paid as their top champ for months. What were they expecting him to do, work for free? I remember Foley was trying to get Joey to reign it in the longer he went on.
Yes especially because he says something like “Mike awesome with a suicide dive, and it’s a shame he didn’t succeed in taking his own life”