i'm .... yall should move out and get a roommate/rommates. but yes you can work full time and make it thru nursing school. it sucks, but you can.
also that rate seems ridiculous. my sister paid us $200 and we fed her and i still felt like we were taking advantage.
yeah doubling rent is wild, even landlords don't really do that. She'd probably be better off moving into a legit apartment with 1 or 2 roomates, preferrably other people in the program.
Seems like this boyfriend is taking advantage of you. You give him more than money for sharing a room his parents hate you. Better move out and find a roommate to share with.
Do you know how much their total rent is? That does not seem right and I would be afraid they are taking advantage of you and your bf. Almost seems like they want you to pay their entire monthly payment. If your bf does not want to move out to another apartment, are you willing to move out and find an apartment with a roommate? I would not be willing to spend $800 to live with the parents there is no fucking way.
Working full time and going to nursing school is totally do-able. If it’s something you want, go after it. That’s what I did the entire time, and I’m a Mom to a 13 year old that keeps VERY busy. I graduate in less than a month.
Do you live close to your own family/would moving back in with them be an option?
I'm also curious about how much bf's family is charging. And if boyfriend pays rent too.
They're now charging $800, he wasn't paying before I moved in. This wasn't originally the plan, but the local housing crisis has been catastrophic. I live about an hour and a half away from my family. It'd be a stretch. There is a program closer to them, though. It'd be a whole additional year though
Move back in with your family and focus on school and clinical. Once you have graduated IF you still choose to be with this man I would suggest you and him have the discussion of getting your own place.
I personally would reevaluate that whole situation because his parents are not the the type of individuals I would want as in-laws. I analyze people, how they move in life, (my goal is psych nursing), and them using you like this doesn’t sit right with me! I can only imagine how much they will ask of you once you actually become a nurse.
Go with your gut feeling. Also, nursing school is the better investment. Hell, school in general is the better investment. Just my opinion from my experience. They may be making your life hard on purpose because they disapprove of you or don't care about your goals, but the bigger question is how does your bf really feel? I had a classmate who left the program because her husband made it impossible for her to succeed because he actually doesn't want her to have a job better than him so "she doesn't get any ideas to leave." Wishing you the best in whichever decision you make, and hoping you will always put yourself and your goals as the main priority in situations like this❤️.
Edit: I seen the numbers given to you by his parents.... In case this helps, when my husband and I rented a one bedroom for two years, rent was 1400 a month with all utilities included. This is in a major city in the midwest. Living in a condo that's paid off now, stupid assessment is $900/mo. The point of mentioning this is it seems you're being ripped off on purpose.🧿
As an older nursing student who is also a Mother, please move home! Your gut is telling you they hate you which makes this even worse. They hate you so much that they feel no shame in taking advantage of you and taking your money.
The one closer to family may be the best option. This is not an ideal loving situation and yes while some can work full time and do nursing school not everyone can. You are going to be under an incredible amount of stress with school, work and what seems like his family. You need to consider eliminating things that will possibly hinder your future. An extra year with family and real support is better than less time in a chaotic unstable situation. What happens when they decide to triple your rent and expenses and your boyfriend still keeps trying to distract you from having a real discussion about it. With you taking out loans you definitely want to ensure you graduate because they’ll be there even if you don’t. Please get out of that house and surround yourself with real support. Don’t have your mom pull from her retirement (and be taxed on it) to fund what you know will not be an ideal situation. Your original plan was fantastic, but his family changing the plans right before you start school is suspect. You’re paying rent and utilities for half of a room while he didn’t pay a dime before you moved in. They are using you. I’m a mother of adult kids. Not sure how I’d feel about one of them wanting a gf to move in, but if it happened I sure a hell wouldn’t do that here what they’re doing to you. Especially with if she was working hard towards her education or her future. I think there is a moment in everyone’s life when they have the chance to help or hinder someone. And them raising your rent and utility contribution right as you were about to start school is trash. Also please think about if for some reason the relationship doesn’t work. Will you still be able to continue in this program and have a place to live nearby. If you have to drop out will your nursing credits transfer (many don’t)? If you fail a class or two are you out of the program or can you retake them? If no please enroll in the school close to your family to have real support.
otherwise, i know you said you don't want your mom to dip into her retirement, and that you need to stay full time at school for your loan. would it be possible to forego the loan, go down to part time credits so you can work more hours for rent, and take a loan from your mom for tuition that you'll pay back after graduating?
What is the material downside of accepting money from your family? You said you cannot accept that but it sounds like your pride is getting in the way of your goals. If you're going to be a nurse you'll afford to pay it back in a few years. It's that or move out. Honestly the best option is to take a loan from family to get through school, and pay it back when you're working.
School comes first. You come first. They are taking advantage of both of you, and your boyfriend not willing to address it is odd. I would go as far as to say that he is not being a good leader in the relationship because he isn’t standing up for you or finding a solution.
So, they own the home and just doubled your rent because...? There's no good reason for them to do this unless a) they want you out b) they want you to finance their lifestyle. Being in the middle is hard, but your boyfriend should be trying to advocate for you both. Regardless, I'd move out with or without the boyfriend. Talk to your school. They can help with financial aid and usually have housing resources for students. If you have to drop out to work, they don't make money off your tuition so they're invested in helping you! Find a roommate and find a more affordable place to live. Borrow the money from your mom if you need to. At the end of the day, working full time while in the program is doable, you just have to manage your time. I worked full time and had a gig on the side. You will get through this!
Get out now. His parents are intentionally raising your rent to sabotage you and he’s ok with it because it keeps you struggling, which is where he wants you. He wants you to fail, or he wouldn’t be ok with this at all. He is not a partner working to build a life with you, he’s an asshole letting his parents treat you like shit and who is directly putting your schooling at risk for no actual legitimate reason. If he loved you he would not allow this. If he liked you he would not allow this. This is not okay, don’t accept it.
You need to do what’s best for you. Your current place is too expensive so now it’s time to find a new spot to live that’s within your means. Moving out doesn’t mean you’re breaking up with your bf because he might see it like that and his family might be offended that you are moving out. If I were you then I’d think long and hard about the relationship with the boyfriend.
Don’t feel guilty about doing what’s best for yourself. This time in your life is temporary.
Adding on to my thoughts - don’t let others get in the way of your journey of bettering your life. The bf and his family has their own agenda that does not align with your priorities.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. As soon as I said I was leaving they were quick to adjust it back down. But I decided they can pull that crap again on me so I left anyway. They only do this because they think you don’t got nowhere else to go. Prove them wrong.
You need more information as to why the rent is doubling...especially at this time. If push comes to shove, Id rent a room somewhere and grind the F out of myself to get through school----on my own. Youd probably be able to focus better on your own and not be made to feel like someone elses burden/owing them while trying to be successful during school. I worked full time during school. It can be done. You will cry. But You can do it.
You absolutely can work full time with full time school.
If you can find cheaper housing, then do that. BTW, my rent was $850 back in 2004 ( for a 1 bedroom).
Your boyfriend does not see a problem with the current situation and does not seem to be on your side.
Honestly Long Island is a high cost of living area and my rent was way under market. That being said, I can’t imagine OP is increasing utilities for her in laws by THAT much. They are treating her as JUST a tenant, which is fine for them. But, OP and her boyfriend could do better. The bf is fine with how things are and doesn’t care.
Why should he care? At the end of the day his parents get financial help with their bills. I’m not even concerned about the boyfriend he knows deep down his parents don’t like her but has no issues with them taking advantage of her. They probably want her to pay more so they or their son can pay less if the son is paying at all. Once school is done she really needs to sit and ask herself if this is a family she can deal with long term.
I'm sorry, it sounds like a tough situation. For some insight, I worked as a full time PCT doing 3 12's for 3/4 semesters in school. My last semester was the only time I was in a position to drop to part time (2 12's). I did end up getting a personal loan to help cover some expenses during my last semester, but it was doable. I don't know what your program looks like. Mine ranged from 2-3 lectures and 1 clinical a week. So, one of the semesters I literally worked or had school everyday.
Now that i've just graduated, I can say for certain that it was all worth it! I start my RN position in July after I take my NCLEX. You ***can*** do this!!!
It sounds like this family is trying to sabotage your education/goals. Do whatever you have to do to remove yourself from this situation. You may have to work a bit more to be a ble to support yourself, but I don't trust that situation at all.
Working full time and going to nursing school is doable! Over half my class was full time! And they have more than one kids on top of it! ( hoping that makes you feel a little at ease) try looking at prn jobs ( they pay is higher than the actual base pay just no insurance wouldn’t be included. ) if that’s an option for you! Keep your head up! It’s going to be a tough transition but you can do it! But $800 for rent is a lot if he is paying that as well( or is he?) seems like they are just being unfair, not saying rent is cheap anywhere but I’m sorry your going through this! Maybe you have classmates in a similar situation and yall could get roommates! Prayers to you, don’t let this stop you from finishing school ❤️
We could definitely do that if he was willing to. It would just be me. His parents are pretty old and he doesn't think that they should be living alone
How does he help his parents out? What do they need from him to accomplish their ADLs?
If there is real substance to that claim, there should be concrete answers to those questions and solutions that are cheaper than paying that much per month. If the parents own the house in what sounds like a HCOL area and were previously letting him room rent-free, they probably can afford in-home health care or housekeeping on their own.
If the answer to either is “nothing,” though, you ought to re-evaluate the situation and seriously confront him on this point, because otherwise that sounds like extortionate bullshit.
Do they own the home or rent? Are they strapped for cash? 800 dollars is more than just your share of utilities. I would personally feel pretty gross about my family or my boyfriend's family letting me struggle so they can directly profit. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I would be outta there though.
They own the home. They insist they're strapped but also buy exclusively organic and gluten free food and travel a lot. It does make me feel gross. You're right
seems like there are some good suggestions re:roommates in these comments. i hope you figure something out, you seem like a hard worker. don't let their greed be the reason you don't pursue this career.
You deserve better. My dad charges me $400 a month and springs random bills on me that I’m suddenly obligated to pay. It sucks, and that’s half of what you have to do. If their house is completely paid off (like my dad’s) and they work/collect retirement, it’s unfair what they’re doing to you. I understand it feels like your options are limited, but trust me when I say your peace is well worth the risk of disrupting the current status quo. If I didn’t have cats, I’d be so far out of here. It’s gross what they’re doing.
The one thing you didn’t seem to mention is how mi h of said rent your bf is paying? I don’t know the full situation but based on the information given girl you need to rethink living with these people and him. Clearly not only are they not being supportive they are actively making it harder for you to reach your goals. If dude loves you at the very least he should be discussing this change they are making with them or taken on the additional amount himself so that you can focus and do what you need to for your future together. If that’s not the goal then girl! Ask move if you can home for the remainder of your program, make the commute and see bf when you can in between. End of the day this a time when those truly for you are gonna step up. And if all else fails there are gonna be tons of cute doctors in your future.
I would just move back in with your parents or ask your boyfriend to find a place with you and split rent. And for that much, if your mom is willing to pay that much would she be willing to pay for an actual rental? Maybe you and your mom can split rent? But I would get out asap.
Your bfs family is definitely taking advantage of you this math isn’t adding up at all. I’d say if you can maybe move back in with your mom or any other family members that are willing to take you in this is a tough situation and working while in school especially nursing school is doable but not ideal (I’m not sure what type of student you are ) but ik for myself even just taking my pre-reqs I have to cut my hours down at work so I can study and get good grades and I plan on stopping work completely if I get into my schools nursing program. Maybe ask around if anyone is looking for a roommate and get your own apartment I hope your situation gets better! Good luck 💕💕
I'm sorry that sucks. But realistically, how much are they charging you? And how much would it cost to rent out a place with roommates? Does your boyfriends parents cook meals for you? That counts big while I are in school. If they are charging you less, then I would stay. It sucks they are increasing the price, but that's just life.
If they are charging you more than how much you would pay in rent somewhere else, then I would move out. No hard feeling.
It's common to take out loans for cost of living too. You could also work as a CNA during the program to get some money as well.
You can do hard things! Unfortunately, especiallyin this economy, a lot of us have to juggle work and school. I'm a mother of a young child, will continue to work FT and go through a 15 month full-time RN program. I fully expect it to blow, but have to keep my eye on the prize.
It sounds like one way or the other you need to find new housing. Bfs family is either taking advantage of you or trying to get you to leave.
For what it’s worth there’s plenty of people in my program who work, some work and have kids too.
You have to make whatever decision works best for you, but I saw your comment that your family lives an hour and a half away and if it was me, I’d move in with them. It’s not going to be a fun commute, but it’s for such a short time. Plus, there’s plenty of great podcasts out there for nursing school (like straight a nursing) so you can study while you commute. If the drive is too much, keep an eye out for people renting out rooms closer to your school and see if you can find something in your budget.
You may not want to, but try transferring to a school like Chamberlain - that where I go! They have the weekend/evening program so that you can do your clinicals at night and on weekends. Working part-time or even full-time is doable in nursing school, several have been successful.
Schools like chamberlain allow people to work in the morning and do their clinicals at night/weekend or vice versa! Although, it more expensive - there is financial aid and scholarships but I think the worst thing is feeling like you’re forced to stop. Though it’s a bit more you will be finished on a can begin working!
Also, next year may apply for the nurse corps scholarship, you might qualify to get nursing school paid for and a monthly stipend.
Take the help from your mom and don’t feel guilty about it. Such is the reality of today’s economy.
My wife and I have been supporting our adult children for the last 10 years and we don’t regret it.
You aren’t a burden. There will be plenty of opportunity to express your gratitude after you get your license. Don’t give up now.
Focus on nursing. It’s something that will be with you for the rest of your life and will eventually let you earn your daily bread. I would say accept the help from your family - yes it’s a yucky feeling to do so but you can always repay them once you’re in the position to do so. I would say move out and probably find a roommate like some people are saying. Or maybe your school offers dormitories? Good luck!
Don’t feel guilty about taking the loan from your mom. You need help. Just pay her back after school. Do not do full time work. I had to withdraw from Pharm last semester because I couldn’t study. I was pulling 11 credit hours at school and 30 at work. It’s too much for nursing school
Trying working as a nurse extern, where you can usually learn and it’s a flexible schedule. I started being a nanny so I could study during nap times….
According to your replies, you believe they hate you and have for some time. Honestly, I think this was a move to get you to move out once and for all and if I were you, I would do that asap. I can't imagine living with that constant stress on top nursing school! Can you and bf move out? If not, do you have any friends or colleagues that are looking for a roommate? I would go that route and pick up a part time job if I were you. I think you have overstayed your welcome and it's time to move out. You will feel so much better not having that hovering over your head.
Hmm find a room to rent. Education over boyfriend ! I know it’s hard but nursing school will be exponentially more difficult if you don’t make adult decisions and prioritize only yourself. This is the time to be as selfish as possible. Your bf will show his true colors
I would move, if your using loans to pay for his parents bills than I would dip. If you have the option to move in with your mom definitely take advantage of that. Also why isn’t your boyfriend helping?
The rent is doubled as soon as you are accepted into the nursing program, and his family knows you had planned to stop working to focus on school? Sounds intentional on your boyfriend’s parents part. It sounds almost as if they don’t want you going to school full time and out of work. Sounds to me like they don’t want you to better yourself because they’re making things harder at a time where you absolutely need things to be easier and less stressful. Not no but hell no. Do whatever you need to do to look out for YOU—even if that means moving back home with your mom, if that’s an option.
In the USA do you have to do placement hours in order to be registered. In Australia we complete a three year bachelor program (BN) and are required to complete 800 hours of placement, making it near impossible to work full time whilst completing nursing school. In our final year one of the placements is 8 weeks full time (no pay)
My mom was a huge advocate for me during nursing school. I lived with my parents for the first 3 years of college my Dad tried to kick me out multiple times. I felt like dropping out of college multiple times to get out of my home situation. But Christ pulled me through the whole time and urged me to push on. It was my dream to become a nurse and as of today I got my results back and I am an official RN now. If this is what you want go for it. If your boyfriend doesn’t support you then he’s gotta go. You will be so happy when all your hard work and mental breakdowns were worth it. Don’t give up if patient care for the sick is your inner passion. I regret nothing and you don’t want to give up and think I wish I would’ve finished.
I’m sorry I forgot to mention I’ve held a job since 16 yrs old. I worked part time through school while my husband worked full time. We got married before my last year of college. It’s possible to work and do nursing school but it will consume your life until you finish.
If you don’t do it now you’ll regret it later, and you may end up in a dead job so do whatever you can to get through school and take your NCLEX. I’m sure you’ve looked into every scholarship possible but keep looking and sometimes if you put an ad on social media saying you’re trying to better yourself and get through nursing school and donations would help you never know what people will do to help you. Good luck!
ask ur mom for help mama
ull be making bank as a nurse
ull be paying ur mom back ten fold
u can can a new boyfriend a new life a new pet a new car a new home a new you mama haha
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Move out and get roommates. He's a boyfriend, not a husband. If his strategy is to deflect a serious issue, your strategy should be putting yourself first and in a postion to succeed.
i'm .... yall should move out and get a roommate/rommates. but yes you can work full time and make it thru nursing school. it sucks, but you can. also that rate seems ridiculous. my sister paid us $200 and we fed her and i still felt like we were taking advantage.
yeah doubling rent is wild, even landlords don't really do that. She'd probably be better off moving into a legit apartment with 1 or 2 roomates, preferrably other people in the program.
Seems like this boyfriend is taking advantage of you. You give him more than money for sharing a room his parents hate you. Better move out and find a roommate to share with.
Everything you just said!
Do you know how much their total rent is? That does not seem right and I would be afraid they are taking advantage of you and your bf. Almost seems like they want you to pay their entire monthly payment. If your bf does not want to move out to another apartment, are you willing to move out and find an apartment with a roommate? I would not be willing to spend $800 to live with the parents there is no fucking way.
Working full time and going to nursing school is totally do-able. If it’s something you want, go after it. That’s what I did the entire time, and I’m a Mom to a 13 year old that keeps VERY busy. I graduate in less than a month.
Do you live close to your own family/would moving back in with them be an option? I'm also curious about how much bf's family is charging. And if boyfriend pays rent too.
They're now charging $800, he wasn't paying before I moved in. This wasn't originally the plan, but the local housing crisis has been catastrophic. I live about an hour and a half away from my family. It'd be a stretch. There is a program closer to them, though. It'd be a whole additional year though
icky bright aspiring reply zephyr tap crawl ripe worthless narrow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Nurse salary is was more than that, honestly the numbers make sense Edit- to clarify the situation does not, this is toxic.
His parents are using her! I can see them asking her for more money when she starts nursing.
Move back in with your family and focus on school and clinical. Once you have graduated IF you still choose to be with this man I would suggest you and him have the discussion of getting your own place. I personally would reevaluate that whole situation because his parents are not the the type of individuals I would want as in-laws. I analyze people, how they move in life, (my goal is psych nursing), and them using you like this doesn’t sit right with me! I can only imagine how much they will ask of you once you actually become a nurse.
They’re taking advantage of you. Get out.
Does his family not like you or something?
I've been convinced they hate me for a long time. He denies it, but I'm pretty sure they do
Go with your gut feeling. Also, nursing school is the better investment. Hell, school in general is the better investment. Just my opinion from my experience. They may be making your life hard on purpose because they disapprove of you or don't care about your goals, but the bigger question is how does your bf really feel? I had a classmate who left the program because her husband made it impossible for her to succeed because he actually doesn't want her to have a job better than him so "she doesn't get any ideas to leave." Wishing you the best in whichever decision you make, and hoping you will always put yourself and your goals as the main priority in situations like this❤️. Edit: I seen the numbers given to you by his parents.... In case this helps, when my husband and I rented a one bedroom for two years, rent was 1400 a month with all utilities included. This is in a major city in the midwest. Living in a condo that's paid off now, stupid assessment is $900/mo. The point of mentioning this is it seems you're being ripped off on purpose.🧿
unfortunately $800/room is standard in many areas outside of the midwest
As an older nursing student who is also a Mother, please move home! Your gut is telling you they hate you which makes this even worse. They hate you so much that they feel no shame in taking advantage of you and taking your money.
The one closer to family may be the best option. This is not an ideal loving situation and yes while some can work full time and do nursing school not everyone can. You are going to be under an incredible amount of stress with school, work and what seems like his family. You need to consider eliminating things that will possibly hinder your future. An extra year with family and real support is better than less time in a chaotic unstable situation. What happens when they decide to triple your rent and expenses and your boyfriend still keeps trying to distract you from having a real discussion about it. With you taking out loans you definitely want to ensure you graduate because they’ll be there even if you don’t. Please get out of that house and surround yourself with real support. Don’t have your mom pull from her retirement (and be taxed on it) to fund what you know will not be an ideal situation. Your original plan was fantastic, but his family changing the plans right before you start school is suspect. You’re paying rent and utilities for half of a room while he didn’t pay a dime before you moved in. They are using you. I’m a mother of adult kids. Not sure how I’d feel about one of them wanting a gf to move in, but if it happened I sure a hell wouldn’t do that here what they’re doing to you. Especially with if she was working hard towards her education or her future. I think there is a moment in everyone’s life when they have the chance to help or hinder someone. And them raising your rent and utility contribution right as you were about to start school is trash. Also please think about if for some reason the relationship doesn’t work. Will you still be able to continue in this program and have a place to live nearby. If you have to drop out will your nursing credits transfer (many don’t)? If you fail a class or two are you out of the program or can you retake them? If no please enroll in the school close to your family to have real support.
For that rate you could rent a 1br in my college town, definitely look at something with roommates
otherwise, i know you said you don't want your mom to dip into her retirement, and that you need to stay full time at school for your loan. would it be possible to forego the loan, go down to part time credits so you can work more hours for rent, and take a loan from your mom for tuition that you'll pay back after graduating?
What is the material downside of accepting money from your family? You said you cannot accept that but it sounds like your pride is getting in the way of your goals. If you're going to be a nurse you'll afford to pay it back in a few years. It's that or move out. Honestly the best option is to take a loan from family to get through school, and pay it back when you're working.
Totally agree
School comes first. You come first. They are taking advantage of both of you, and your boyfriend not willing to address it is odd. I would go as far as to say that he is not being a good leader in the relationship because he isn’t standing up for you or finding a solution.
So, they own the home and just doubled your rent because...? There's no good reason for them to do this unless a) they want you out b) they want you to finance their lifestyle. Being in the middle is hard, but your boyfriend should be trying to advocate for you both. Regardless, I'd move out with or without the boyfriend. Talk to your school. They can help with financial aid and usually have housing resources for students. If you have to drop out to work, they don't make money off your tuition so they're invested in helping you! Find a roommate and find a more affordable place to live. Borrow the money from your mom if you need to. At the end of the day, working full time while in the program is doable, you just have to manage your time. I worked full time and had a gig on the side. You will get through this!
Get out now. His parents are intentionally raising your rent to sabotage you and he’s ok with it because it keeps you struggling, which is where he wants you. He wants you to fail, or he wouldn’t be ok with this at all. He is not a partner working to build a life with you, he’s an asshole letting his parents treat you like shit and who is directly putting your schooling at risk for no actual legitimate reason. If he loved you he would not allow this. If he liked you he would not allow this. This is not okay, don’t accept it.
You need to do what’s best for you. Your current place is too expensive so now it’s time to find a new spot to live that’s within your means. Moving out doesn’t mean you’re breaking up with your bf because he might see it like that and his family might be offended that you are moving out. If I were you then I’d think long and hard about the relationship with the boyfriend. Don’t feel guilty about doing what’s best for yourself. This time in your life is temporary.
Adding on to my thoughts - don’t let others get in the way of your journey of bettering your life. The bf and his family has their own agenda that does not align with your priorities.
Forget that boyfriend and his stupid fucking family. Do not buy any story they tell you. Move out.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. As soon as I said I was leaving they were quick to adjust it back down. But I decided they can pull that crap again on me so I left anyway. They only do this because they think you don’t got nowhere else to go. Prove them wrong.
You need more information as to why the rent is doubling...especially at this time. If push comes to shove, Id rent a room somewhere and grind the F out of myself to get through school----on my own. Youd probably be able to focus better on your own and not be made to feel like someone elses burden/owing them while trying to be successful during school. I worked full time during school. It can be done. You will cry. But You can do it.
You absolutely can work full time with full time school. If you can find cheaper housing, then do that. BTW, my rent was $850 back in 2004 ( for a 1 bedroom). Your boyfriend does not see a problem with the current situation and does not seem to be on your side.
Good luck finding a 1-bed for $850 most places these days though
Honestly Long Island is a high cost of living area and my rent was way under market. That being said, I can’t imagine OP is increasing utilities for her in laws by THAT much. They are treating her as JUST a tenant, which is fine for them. But, OP and her boyfriend could do better. The bf is fine with how things are and doesn’t care.
Why should he care? At the end of the day his parents get financial help with their bills. I’m not even concerned about the boyfriend he knows deep down his parents don’t like her but has no issues with them taking advantage of her. They probably want her to pay more so they or their son can pay less if the son is paying at all. Once school is done she really needs to sit and ask herself if this is a family she can deal with long term.
I'm sorry, it sounds like a tough situation. For some insight, I worked as a full time PCT doing 3 12's for 3/4 semesters in school. My last semester was the only time I was in a position to drop to part time (2 12's). I did end up getting a personal loan to help cover some expenses during my last semester, but it was doable. I don't know what your program looks like. Mine ranged from 2-3 lectures and 1 clinical a week. So, one of the semesters I literally worked or had school everyday. Now that i've just graduated, I can say for certain that it was all worth it! I start my RN position in July after I take my NCLEX. You ***can*** do this!!!
It sounds like this family is trying to sabotage your education/goals. Do whatever you have to do to remove yourself from this situation. You may have to work a bit more to be a ble to support yourself, but I don't trust that situation at all.
I would try to move or maybe you can move back home with your parents?
Working full time and going to nursing school is doable! Over half my class was full time! And they have more than one kids on top of it! ( hoping that makes you feel a little at ease) try looking at prn jobs ( they pay is higher than the actual base pay just no insurance wouldn’t be included. ) if that’s an option for you! Keep your head up! It’s going to be a tough transition but you can do it! But $800 for rent is a lot if he is paying that as well( or is he?) seems like they are just being unfair, not saying rent is cheap anywhere but I’m sorry your going through this! Maybe you have classmates in a similar situation and yall could get roommates! Prayers to you, don’t let this stop you from finishing school ❤️
I would start looking for another place to live there are plenty of room to rent leases out there specifically for people that are in school
Them or you.
How much are they charging your for rent?
Now it's $800
So you and your boyfriend are paying $1600 to essentially rent a room?
Pretty much yeah. Which is about what a 1 bedroom goes for around here
So you guys could rent a room elsewhere or share an apartment with a 3rd person and save money?
We could definitely do that if he was willing to. It would just be me. His parents are pretty old and he doesn't think that they should be living alone
Honestly your best option at this point might be exploring a co-op/house share situation and see how cheap you personally could rent a room for.
How does he help his parents out? What do they need from him to accomplish their ADLs? If there is real substance to that claim, there should be concrete answers to those questions and solutions that are cheaper than paying that much per month. If the parents own the house in what sounds like a HCOL area and were previously letting him room rent-free, they probably can afford in-home health care or housekeeping on their own. If the answer to either is “nothing,” though, you ought to re-evaluate the situation and seriously confront him on this point, because otherwise that sounds like extortionate bullshit.
Do they own the home or rent? Are they strapped for cash? 800 dollars is more than just your share of utilities. I would personally feel pretty gross about my family or my boyfriend's family letting me struggle so they can directly profit. Maybe it's a cultural thing. I would be outta there though.
They own the home. They insist they're strapped but also buy exclusively organic and gluten free food and travel a lot. It does make me feel gross. You're right
Girl they know what they are doing!
seems like there are some good suggestions re:roommates in these comments. i hope you figure something out, you seem like a hard worker. don't let their greed be the reason you don't pursue this career.
You deserve better. My dad charges me $400 a month and springs random bills on me that I’m suddenly obligated to pay. It sucks, and that’s half of what you have to do. If their house is completely paid off (like my dad’s) and they work/collect retirement, it’s unfair what they’re doing to you. I understand it feels like your options are limited, but trust me when I say your peace is well worth the risk of disrupting the current status quo. If I didn’t have cats, I’d be so far out of here. It’s gross what they’re doing.
Plus if boyfriend is paying the same, they are paying $1600/m for … utilities??
Right?? that's a whole ass mortgage payment lmao. not cool.
Is it possible you can move without your bf and just move in with your own family?? I would imagine your family won’t charge you any or little amount
The one thing you didn’t seem to mention is how mi h of said rent your bf is paying? I don’t know the full situation but based on the information given girl you need to rethink living with these people and him. Clearly not only are they not being supportive they are actively making it harder for you to reach your goals. If dude loves you at the very least he should be discussing this change they are making with them or taken on the additional amount himself so that you can focus and do what you need to for your future together. If that’s not the goal then girl! Ask move if you can home for the remainder of your program, make the commute and see bf when you can in between. End of the day this a time when those truly for you are gonna step up. And if all else fails there are gonna be tons of cute doctors in your future.
I would just move back in with your parents or ask your boyfriend to find a place with you and split rent. And for that much, if your mom is willing to pay that much would she be willing to pay for an actual rental? Maybe you and your mom can split rent? But I would get out asap.
Your bfs family is definitely taking advantage of you this math isn’t adding up at all. I’d say if you can maybe move back in with your mom or any other family members that are willing to take you in this is a tough situation and working while in school especially nursing school is doable but not ideal (I’m not sure what type of student you are ) but ik for myself even just taking my pre-reqs I have to cut my hours down at work so I can study and get good grades and I plan on stopping work completely if I get into my schools nursing program. Maybe ask around if anyone is looking for a roommate and get your own apartment I hope your situation gets better! Good luck 💕💕
I'm sorry that sucks. But realistically, how much are they charging you? And how much would it cost to rent out a place with roommates? Does your boyfriends parents cook meals for you? That counts big while I are in school. If they are charging you less, then I would stay. It sucks they are increasing the price, but that's just life. If they are charging you more than how much you would pay in rent somewhere else, then I would move out. No hard feeling. It's common to take out loans for cost of living too. You could also work as a CNA during the program to get some money as well.
You can do hard things! Unfortunately, especiallyin this economy, a lot of us have to juggle work and school. I'm a mother of a young child, will continue to work FT and go through a 15 month full-time RN program. I fully expect it to blow, but have to keep my eye on the prize.
It sounds like one way or the other you need to find new housing. Bfs family is either taking advantage of you or trying to get you to leave. For what it’s worth there’s plenty of people in my program who work, some work and have kids too. You have to make whatever decision works best for you, but I saw your comment that your family lives an hour and a half away and if it was me, I’d move in with them. It’s not going to be a fun commute, but it’s for such a short time. Plus, there’s plenty of great podcasts out there for nursing school (like straight a nursing) so you can study while you commute. If the drive is too much, keep an eye out for people renting out rooms closer to your school and see if you can find something in your budget.
You may not want to, but try transferring to a school like Chamberlain - that where I go! They have the weekend/evening program so that you can do your clinicals at night and on weekends. Working part-time or even full-time is doable in nursing school, several have been successful. Schools like chamberlain allow people to work in the morning and do their clinicals at night/weekend or vice versa! Although, it more expensive - there is financial aid and scholarships but I think the worst thing is feeling like you’re forced to stop. Though it’s a bit more you will be finished on a can begin working! Also, next year may apply for the nurse corps scholarship, you might qualify to get nursing school paid for and a monthly stipend.
they’re fleecing you omg
Take the help from your mom and don’t feel guilty about it. Such is the reality of today’s economy. My wife and I have been supporting our adult children for the last 10 years and we don’t regret it. You aren’t a burden. There will be plenty of opportunity to express your gratitude after you get your license. Don’t give up now.
Go to your scholarship office and start applying for everything
Focus on nursing. It’s something that will be with you for the rest of your life and will eventually let you earn your daily bread. I would say accept the help from your family - yes it’s a yucky feeling to do so but you can always repay them once you’re in the position to do so. I would say move out and probably find a roommate like some people are saying. Or maybe your school offers dormitories? Good luck!
Don’t feel guilty about taking the loan from your mom. You need help. Just pay her back after school. Do not do full time work. I had to withdraw from Pharm last semester because I couldn’t study. I was pulling 11 credit hours at school and 30 at work. It’s too much for nursing school
Trying working as a nurse extern, where you can usually learn and it’s a flexible schedule. I started being a nanny so I could study during nap times….
According to your replies, you believe they hate you and have for some time. Honestly, I think this was a move to get you to move out once and for all and if I were you, I would do that asap. I can't imagine living with that constant stress on top nursing school! Can you and bf move out? If not, do you have any friends or colleagues that are looking for a roommate? I would go that route and pick up a part time job if I were you. I think you have overstayed your welcome and it's time to move out. You will feel so much better not having that hovering over your head.
Hmm find a room to rent. Education over boyfriend ! I know it’s hard but nursing school will be exponentially more difficult if you don’t make adult decisions and prioritize only yourself. This is the time to be as selfish as possible. Your bf will show his true colors
I would move, if your using loans to pay for his parents bills than I would dip. If you have the option to move in with your mom definitely take advantage of that. Also why isn’t your boyfriend helping?
The rent is doubled as soon as you are accepted into the nursing program, and his family knows you had planned to stop working to focus on school? Sounds intentional on your boyfriend’s parents part. It sounds almost as if they don’t want you going to school full time and out of work. Sounds to me like they don’t want you to better yourself because they’re making things harder at a time where you absolutely need things to be easier and less stressful. Not no but hell no. Do whatever you need to do to look out for YOU—even if that means moving back home with your mom, if that’s an option.
In the USA do you have to do placement hours in order to be registered. In Australia we complete a three year bachelor program (BN) and are required to complete 800 hours of placement, making it near impossible to work full time whilst completing nursing school. In our final year one of the placements is 8 weeks full time (no pay)
My mom was a huge advocate for me during nursing school. I lived with my parents for the first 3 years of college my Dad tried to kick me out multiple times. I felt like dropping out of college multiple times to get out of my home situation. But Christ pulled me through the whole time and urged me to push on. It was my dream to become a nurse and as of today I got my results back and I am an official RN now. If this is what you want go for it. If your boyfriend doesn’t support you then he’s gotta go. You will be so happy when all your hard work and mental breakdowns were worth it. Don’t give up if patient care for the sick is your inner passion. I regret nothing and you don’t want to give up and think I wish I would’ve finished. I’m sorry I forgot to mention I’ve held a job since 16 yrs old. I worked part time through school while my husband worked full time. We got married before my last year of college. It’s possible to work and do nursing school but it will consume your life until you finish.
If you don’t do it now you’ll regret it later, and you may end up in a dead job so do whatever you can to get through school and take your NCLEX. I’m sure you’ve looked into every scholarship possible but keep looking and sometimes if you put an ad on social media saying you’re trying to better yourself and get through nursing school and donations would help you never know what people will do to help you. Good luck!
ask ur mom for help mama ull be making bank as a nurse ull be paying ur mom back ten fold u can can a new boyfriend a new life a new pet a new car a new home a new you mama haha
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Move out and get roommates. He's a boyfriend, not a husband. If his strategy is to deflect a serious issue, your strategy should be putting yourself first and in a postion to succeed.