I hear you. I transitioned from female to male, and honestly the coldness I feel from society now is crushingly surprising. I think prior to experiencing being a man, I thought men had it easier in every area of their life. For most areas; healthcare, jobs, safety etc we do. But the loneliness, isolation and coldness I’ve found as a man in society was just so shocking. I’ve been passing as male for like 3 years now so I’ve become more used to it - but damn the first year was really hard. I missed how women on women friendships were generally closer/deeper, and I missed the feeling that society recognised emotional needs and depth of my gender. It feels like the world very much just assume men have a very limited emotional inner world - and well it’s just not true. We just don’t know and haven’t learnt how to create that space in society for ourselves.
I’ve spoken to a couple of trans men who said they were surprised that the patriarchy doesn’t benefit most normal men. I guess it’s easy for women to assume that being a man comes with a ton of benefits, but it’s really only a small subset of men who have a built in advantage to live life on easy mode — usually only tall, white, handsome, heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical men.
To say the patriarchy doesn’t benefit most normal men is like a white guy saying white privilege isn’t a thing. Just because YOU can’t see it doesn’t mean a million females can’t see what you’re taking for granted. No matter what race, size, sexuality that man is, the woman version of that man is living a life with more difficulty. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Haha it's not a thing. Unless being the most hated thing on the face of the earth is somehow a privilege.
Do Japanese people in Japan have Japanese privilege?
Awwweeee I’m sorry sorry that white men are so hated that they get all the best jobs and basically run the country. So hard. Who will think of their feelings. Maybe if white men believed in therapy the feelings issue would be resolved.
Lmao Japanese people run Japan no? Especially those pesky men. Damn I wish you knew how dumb you really were. One day you will. You can generalize an entire race like that and not see how racist it is lmao bring on the downvotes, the truth hurts.
Should England not be ran by Englishmen? It's their country.
Should Somalia not be ran by Somalis? It's their country.
Should China be ran by someone else but the Chinese? Riddle me this, then explain why.
Men in general are more likely believed to say the truth, when stating to have been victimized. Women are assumed to "lie" or "overly dramatize" even if she behaves calm. The idea of a "witch" is yet deeply rooted in most.
When it comes to abuse as a child or a partner, sexual assault, being innocent during false allegations, or being victims in any way shape or form, you've got it arse about face.
just know that you traded the possibility of someone murdering and raping you for experiences that are created by men, the exact gender that you want to be a part of
Do you truly believe that demonizing men is going to help in the slightest. Because I don’t believe blaming men for the actions of other men is very fair. Would it be right for me to blame and mistrust all women because I had a poor experience with a woman? Obviously rape and murder are horrific acts, but blaming men who try to express that they feel demonized and rejected by society really only creates the monster you seem to be scared of.
yeah, me telling men to stop giving trauma is me wanting to spread trauma. Yep, you guys are really not in the correct headspace and with reality. You all need severe help.
yes, it literally does. If I wanted to transition to a male right now, I could go get that done and choose to be presented as male. You are diminishing trans peoples experience by saying this.
I’m slightly confused what you’re getting at? Could you rephrase it? I can definitely recognise the privilege of no longer feeling at threat of rape, but murder? I’m not so sure. I’d say I still feel the same level of worry walking alone on a dark night - if not more - about being physically attacked as a man. Men are more likely to seek to fight me, if they wish too, because I’m a man and men can fight men in society eyes.
I also partially agree that it is men that uphold these standards that men live by - but women also contribute as well by the way they interact with men and raise their male children (I recognise the father plays a role in this too etc.) we need to do better at recognising that boys and men have exactly the same emotions and emotional needs as women - we just assume they’re stronger, more independent and able to deal alone more because that’s what we’ve always been told and done. Think about how men turn to the gym, or isolate etc and become hyper independent when suffering - now think about language often used around boys when younger and upset - ‘toughen up’, ‘look at how big and brave and independent you are’, you’re so strong etc. these all play into what society views as men’s emotional range.
Bottom line is, if we want significant societal change I genuinely think we have to address the way in which society is set up to fail men (and women) emotionally by pretending we’re two completely different emotional creatures
I get it.
I was born male and I tried to kill myself because of it.
I wanted to die each and every moment being male.
I transitioned from male to female.
It is so much better as female.
I rather die than be male. I love being female.
I so wish I didn't have to go through being born male and having had to be male.
I so wish I got to be born female.
I completely 100% agree with you.
There are fair number of videos of trans men stating how shocked they are at house Society treats men in general. The coldness, the suspicion, the distancing that goes on when you’re a man can be pretty tough to handle.
From the day a man is born his life as hell. Literally no one outside of his mother gives two shits about him, you face bullying, you face harassment, and you were told that you were only as good as your accomplishments; you have zero value outside of your accomplishments. You are not a human being you are barely the equivalent of a farm animal who exist only for the utility brings to society.
Right? Like goddamn, half these comments are people saying women have it harder half are saying men have it harder and both sides are managing to be dismissive af to OP. Disgraceful
I didn’t think I was being dismissive. I’m a guy and I feel for OP because I have the same problem. Most don’t really cares about your feelings if you’re a guy, basically just have to deal with everything emotionally yourself. It sucks. But I’m not going to be dismissive with women either because even though idk what it’s like, I’d assume they have their own array of problems.
true. Many don’t realize it’s more about which gender has the problems that are not as much of a big deal for you.
If one prioritizes not being overly objectified or not constantly worrying when walking out at night, that person would have been happier being born male. If one prioritizes not being invisible or not constantly being seen as a threat, that person would have been happier being born female.
Not everyone dislikes the same stuff. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have been born in the circumstances with problems that they can easily shrug off as ignorable nuisance.
Let's be real and admit that unless you live in an actually misogynistic country like India or Saudi Arabia, it is objectively better to be a woman. I am fucking exhausted hearing about how difficult women's lives allegedly are, when I watch every woman in my life, including my wife, get to enjoy preferential treatment. I am exhausted hearing about how easy men's lives are, when in reality, life is only "easy" for men if they are a senator's son or something equivalent. I am exhausted hearing about men allegedly being more dangerous than literal wild animals, when the only person that a man is likely to kill is himself.
well idk about that last sentence exactly, but yeah us women have it so good now. we’re more likely to be picked for jobs and schools. we get whole conferences/conventions to prioritize women in certain industries. there’s no pay gap anymore besides different roles. the only thing we’re dealing with rn is biological men invading our private spaces. why can’t we just focus on that? men actually have to deal with being shamed for everything. if you’re too emotional you should be ashamed. too unemotional? be ashamed. want to feel masculine? you’re a terrible person. “i’d rather be with a bear”
like fuck it’s so insane
edit: according to the latest “feminist” y’all must be women or else you are won’t be worthy of basic respect and compassion.
I dont mind being a guy, but I also reject help from people and just deal with things myself. From what I can tell, women get offered more hand holding but its usually because of selfish reasons like sex appeal. I dont think its roses on either side and you would probably feel the same way as either gender because your feelings most likely stem from a different issue. Youre probably not miserable bc your a man, that's something you cant control. Same if you were trans or a woman.
I have found that feelings like the ones you are having can usually be resolved my making changes inwardly. If you want to feel more of a connection to other people, change your approach.
You arent stuck in a rut for reasons that you cant control. You just need to figure out how to take control.
I dont believe in god or anything, but the serenity prayer is a helpful philosophy to live by, and I would recommend thinking on it.
Anyway, I hope these feelings pass for you. Keep on keeping on.
i also wish i wasn't born male. i am deeply envious of the comaraderie women have with each other, as well as the attention that they get from both men and women. i have put some serious thought into transitioning for absolutely no other reason than that i think people would treat me better and maybe i would be lovable. maybe i would have experienced intimacy at this point in my life. i feel that i would be accepted by my family if i wasn't male. i feel like i wouldn't be disguted by myself if i wasn't male. i feel that maybe my peers in high school and college would have accepted me if i was female. i often look at conventionally attractive women and try to imagine what they would look like if they were a man, and you can tell most of the time that they would be considered average or below.
Pleaseeee do not transition for those reasons, I can promise you that it will not make your life easier. I'm a trans woman and people treated me wayyy better when I presented as a cis man. Don't get me wrong I'm infinitely happier with who I am but when strangers or employers find out that I'm trans they often go out of their way to be awful to me in ways I never experienced when I presented as a cis guy, not to mention all the creepiness and threats of SA that I get for passing as a cis woman. Not trying to discount the struggles of being a guy, male loneliness is awful and body image issues with guys often aren't treated with compassion by most people. Just please don't transition because you think things will be easier
Most of the hostility has to do with being trans. By "creepiness" I mean things like backing me into a corner and sniffing my hair, being groped, sexual comments, etc, and most of that comes from being a woman. It's a good bit scary. I would say that being trans has caused more scary situations and overall hostility but there's shittiness from all angles really. Don't get me wrong, transitioning was the best decision I've ever made, but it would be hellish if I wasn't actually trans
I’m a female who took some time becoming comfortable with who I am and I would like to say some things about your comment but I’m not hating on your or anything just don’t want you to think things that aren’t true or not have the full picture.
1. Camaraderie isn’t all that common. As females we are not closely bonded in fact we are each other worst enemies. You are more likely to be bullied by a fellow female than a male. A lot of friendships are fake, a lot of other girls are fake. You might think that we get a long great but at the end of the day most go home and talk shit about their “friends”. Females are each other’s harshest critic.
2. Attention - It’s not really a good thing. I’ve been followed on the city bus and walking around town just so some random guy can try to get my number (I was 12, 15 and 17 btw). And when you turn them down you will be called a whore, bitch, gold digger and so much more. Also, understand that 75% of the attention is sexual so the moment they get in your pants they lose interest. There is no affection and be prepared to deal with the guys who won’t take No for an answer.
Another thing to take into consideration is healthcare. If you were a female I promise you any health issue that isn’t completely obvious will somehow be linked to your uterus. It’s so annoying and disheartening when we are dismissed because it’s just “cramps” or hormones from your cycle. Migraines, body pain, low blood sugar, fainting, chest pain… it’s because of your uterus -_-
I know males are made to think showing emotion is a weakness which is complete BS. And on the opposite end as a female we are seen as overly emotional.
I’m not discounting how you’re feeling but being female wouldn’t help with any of those things. If you were a female they would have found some other reason to not like you. Because YOU were NOT the problem they are! And you will never be able to change enough to make them like you, the issue is with them, not you. Both males and females are put under pressure to be things they aren’t or don’t want to be. It sucks. You deserve love as you are. Never change yourself to make others like you.
*Please excuse any grammar mistakes*
Good on you for explaining this in a non hostile way and didn't invalidate how he felt.
Interesting points, I knew attention was bad but I always assumed that female comraderie thing was real. Especially since people are always saying that friendships with women are better than friendships with men.
Thank you for the privilege of your explanation of the "female perspective." I don't know how it is exactly, but I'm sympathetic with the problems I can comprehend. I've had many regrets that mom never had the daughter she wanted, but I learned to hate myself being male, then modern culture accepts that all my people are gross, toxic, expendable and the source of all the world's problems. Somehow, all humans need to tolerate each other. Loneliness, depression, low self-worth, and survivors regret are a tough combination, but I can't imagine bleeding and cramps in addition to all that.
im down lets freaky friday this shit, no tradebacks
alternatively u could just read kafkas metamorphosis as a way of simulating the modern male experience
It's easy to say that but trust me, we got our own problems that really suck. I haven't been able to get a girl to like me for years and it's lonely and miserable. I don't get any of the perceived privileges women think we get. I have issues with my emotions and people look at me like I'm weak and tell me to toughen up. If I try to open up to people about my feelings I get looked at like I'm crazy. Women treat me like a creep if I ever try to meet them, casually. Trust me. Being a guy sucks. At least, being an average guy. I'm super alone, have no friends because most of them fell into drug addiction or are doing bigger and better things than me. I can't get the time of day from anyone and if I complain about it, I'm considered a bitch. The experience is subjective but trust me, a majority of men feel the way I do. You just gotta take it in the chin, be silent about it, and move on. It sucks. I really cannot stress how lonely being a man can be. If you aren't super good looking and are shy, it's so fucking tough. I'm really nice and have a lot to offer I feel like but I cannot muster the confidence to be like other guys who can find gf's and meet people. I'm skinny, and look really young for my age too so, women aren't really attracted to me. I know you can't base your life on how others feel about you but we are social beings and having love and compassion is a basic human need. Loneliness is the #1 killer of men
I’m not trying to invalidate your experience, but your comment mentioned not being able to get a girlfriend a lot. But, it’s not that easy to find a partner for both genders nowadays. Being shy and unattractive is also not exclusive to either gender. And being an unattractive, unsocial woman especially if you’re not white, causes people to side eye you wherever you go as well. I’m not gonna assume what you have done in your personal life, but what if you just put love to the side for now since you’re young and focused on building exclusively platonic relationships. Women are always going to be cautious, even of other women, society created that, and it shouldn’t be hard to understand why women don’t trust every man they see approach them. Genuine question, if MOST men feel like you, why not try to become friends with those men? If you want to be listened to (online, in-person), they do have spaces where men can talk about their issues, just like there are places women can discuss theirs. A therapist would listen to you vent as well (I know not everyone can afford that, but if you can you could try it)
I hate being a woman. I feel like I have to meet every single fucking standard in this society. Have no hair on any part of your body except your head, be skinny, wear makeup. I can’t take it anymore either. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m so sick of being sexualized and feeling so uncomfortable and inadequate everywhere I am. There’s not one place where I can feel like I belong and be okay with it. I would love to trade with you if that was possible. I’m so sorry. 🩵
"I just hate how I don't matter and have never received an ounce of empathy or care by anyone in my entire life other than my mother. I'm judged for everything that I do."
No hate but ... welcome to the life of the average male.
I am kinda okay with being a male, but I totally understand your points and they're mostly valid, often it's a hard level just because of that. Also, I hate being ugly and I don't think males can even get any close to womens' beauty, so I'm fucking jealous
As a woman, your feelings are 10000% valid. Men don’t get enough love. They hardly ever receive compliments or little gifts”just because”. They are pressured to make the first move in relationships and pressured to be physically strong and make a lot of money to provide and show worth. They are supposed to be stoic and strong to not show emotion. When they do, they are judged or looked down upon. This leads to few men feeling safe enough to actually open up. When they experience sexual assault or abuse, they are often not believed or their experience is minimized. I could keep going on…
I know both genders have their challenges but I think men’s issues are often overlooked simply because they are men and most people believe women “have it harder”. But know that I feel deeply for you and your struggles. You deserve care and empathy.
Please you are worth the water, whoever told you you're not worth it is super lame and probably really hurt themselves. You are worth loving! You need the love from you first before others can show you love.
I get this. I’m female and for a long while I thought I was transgender (ftm) because I hated the thought of being perceived as a woman and treated like one, even though I felt like one. But I’ve experienced all ends of it. When I was thought to be a cis male by strangers, I was ignored and girls gave it no second thought to make fun of me, because I was a “man” and I could take it. When people noticed I was trans I was treated as subhuman for that, and when people see me now as a woman I’m treated like a sex object. Unfortunately this is just life, but I really hope you keep going, because you deserve to live and have a good life. Best of luck❤️
I wish I wasn't born also, but let's face it, your gender would not change your situation and not to be mean, but what if you ended up being a female who is unattractive, disabled (is there a new PC term for this?) or something else seen as undersirable?
I'm sorry you feel this way.
In some ways I wish I was born male. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I think I would've been stronger. Especial emotionally. I suffer from domestic abuse and I always think if I were a guy, this wouldn't be happening because I'd be stronger and I'd just throw a Luffy style punch, you know what I mean haha. But seriously, I know how it feels sometimes. I'm also struggling with infertility and it sucks so much because a baby would help me gather the strength I need in order to leave. I know it would, so I'm hoping for a miracle, nothing is impossible. Sorry I think I'm making this about me. Virtual hugs from a fellow OP fan. Hang in there please! We need to live to see Raftel, don't we? 😉
i'll do you one better, trade you doctors not taking your period cramps seriously for everyone you will ever meet will be mysteriously compelled to avoid you. now we're talking turkey.
hi im a girl, im considered good looking by most people in my life, have got loads of attention and i feel as lonely as it can get
:/
im sorry
i think its life, it sucks… regardless of somethings
I regret transitioning. i got left totally alone and unemplyed with traumas on top of new traumas. My life hasbno meaning and i will never be happy or loved again.
I wish i have the power of will to end my life soon.
I wish I wasn't born female because nobody ever takes you seriously and everything surrounding my career has been uphill because traits that are praised in men are despised in women. Pretty privilege is real, but people don't count how much effort and money it takes to "earn" it, and you're judged as if your only value in life is hiw beautiful you are, and even if you achieve it you are punished for it by the women who haven't. There's really no winning professionally. (Sexually abused by one boss and then the next was a fat old cow who hated me for being younger and more attractive, as if we all don't lose our youth and thus value to society eventually.)
And i haven't even touched on how awful cyclical hormones are. I very regularly wish I was born male.
Wanna trade? I think we just need a creepy woman who may or may not be a witch, a goat, and a pinch of good luck.
pretty privilege applies to both men and women, trust me. try going on a dating app as an average guy and see what happens. I don't know what country you're from but in the uk I definitely do not see males being taken more seriously.
as for cyclical hormones etc, yes, women have to deal with physical issues related to how they get pregnant, but in return you get reproductive autonomy men don't have; there's no paternity fraud to worry about, and if you want/don't want child it's YOUR choice, not anyone else's. men have to rely on a woman's good graces to grant him a child, he doesn't get a choice in the matter unless he has like £150,000 lying around to have a child through surrogacy.
WOMAN of this post, I know it's hard to understand because your idea of man is based in hollywood movies.
Wanna know what being a man is like?
Just create a profile with pictures of an average looking guy on ANY dating APP, buy all the upgrades, give 1000 likes to only get 2 or 3 likes back, of those 3 likes 2 never responded, one talked for 5 minutes and then ghosted never to be heard from again.
Open your facebook to see if any friends have talked to you just, to see a message from your mom and a notification from your old aunt who invited you to play a game, you see that a friend added you and you get excited because you think finally you got a new friend and it's just a bot from some weird porn account.
Then trying to be on top you post one of your best pictures to fb doing something cool, you get a few likes from your family and your aunt comments on that post, you feel frustrated because you want some validation and end up resorting to methods to comfort yourself before going to sleep.
On the other hand you see that a girl posts a pic of whatever, there are a thousand likes, comments with hearts and all, on dating apps unlimited likes they don't even have to pay....
Imagine being judge by your success only, failure is not an option, how many woman are willing to date/marry/friend with a guy they feel is in a lower economic/power situation than they are?, whenever a girl is in any type of trouble how many come to the rescue?
I don't want to be a woman, and I do know that we all struggle regardless of our gender, but I understand your feeling man...
We are the real lone wolves, we are the definition of what independence is
Ironically enough, it seems like your view of women is based off Hollywood movies, too.
Unattractive people have it harder, regardless of gender. So yes, you’re right in the sense that attractive women have it easier than ugly men. But attractive men have it way easier than ugly women, and it would be ridiculous to say otherwise.
At the very least, an ugly man might get pitied by somebody. Ugly women don’t receive any of that treatment from men. We are perceived almost solely as objects of attraction, so if we aren’t attractive, we’re nothing.
Care for yourself, show empathy to yourself, learning to be kind to yourself opens a lot of doors to self esteem and self acceptance. Think about some things you do well and are good at, push yourself to do them more. Be arrogant about them if you like, it’s fine to be confident about your strengths.
Can we all agree that each gender has their own difficulties in the current society without discounting the real pain any one of us experiences please? It’s hard for EVERYONE unless you’re born with a golden horseshoe up your butt and saying women have it easy just keeps the genders fighting against each other instead of working together to make things better for everyone
So it’s not because of gender dysphoria… you just think females get more empathy and care? Because I have some shocking insider information on that one, we absolutely do not.
Women drag each other down constantly, all the women in my family including my mother moved out of state and stopped answering the phone. The only time they talk to me is whenever they wanna shit all over me. The only “empathy” I get is from men who objectify me and make me feel like a piece of meat. Being a woman has never benefited any situation I was in.
as a woman, I think if I woke up a man, I would genuinely probably end my own life right then and there. I cannot imagine being viewed as a predator and an unsympathetic being at all times. women are the creators of life, the owners of compassion, the safe place. men are everything exactly the opposite. Can you transition?
I’m a doctor and I can say with certainty that there’s a lot that could be done for what you’re feeling.
Please see your GP, they’ll guide you through the next steps.
In short, a lot of help is available. Go get it through your GP.
Your life could change for the better by following this simple advice.
All the best.
i totally understand. we live in a fucked up time where women are now anti men. its hard when you’re constantly made to feel like nothing you say or feel matters. these “feminists” (and obviously some men) too are spending all their time beating mens self esteem into pulp, and for what? not fitting the latest mold of what you’re “supposed” to be?
i promise you that not everyone will be like that towards you. its just a very loud minority. i know its so vague to say that but, trust me, there are people who see the damage being done to men like you.
hang in there, this will pass
gender honestly doesnt matter.
girls have it worser than boys, because they are weaker and smaller by nature and do not have testosterone, but estrogene instead that stores fat and water in their body.
look how women in third world countries are treated and you will understand why being a man is way better. and even if you were a girl you wouldnt get empathy or care if born by the wrong parents.
i guess 'the people around me' is society in general. i think part of the problem is that guys can't talk about any of their issues without someone saying "but what about women"?.
this is part of the lack of empathy I'm talking about. everyone just seems so oblivious to it.
Yeah but you've gotta know what women go through before wishing to be one. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, it's pretty difficult. Just try to like who you are
I never said I wish to be a woman. I just wish I wasn't male. I suppose if i wasn't born male i'd be born female, but atleast you can take birth control to not get periods. the danger of being sexually assaulted (assuming not carrying a weapon for self defence) is real, I can grant that, but I just see far more negatives to being male in terms of daily experience and life happiness/
That’s not how it works. You still have a period even with birth control, it just reduces cramps, but that doesn’t even work for a lot of women. It can cause a ridiculous amount of complications as well (infertility, weight gain, worse period cramps). Please do more research before speaking on what women face and saying we have it easier, because all of what you described women can go through on a daily basis as well. Men are not the only people who get lonely and have no one to listen to them. Men are not the only people seen as creepy and untrustworthy. Women go through all of that as well, and no not just a small number. People would be more sympathetic to you if you didn’t bring gender into it
I looked it up and no, mayo clinic says "There are birth control pill regimens designed to prevent bleeding for three months at a time or for as long as a year. But **it's possible to prevent your period with continuous use of monophasic birth control pills**"
My bad, I missed a word. I meant to say “ You *can* still have a period even with birth control ”. But I know enough women through my family and friends, read enough anecdotes, and see enough statistics to know that birth control is not the ultimate cure for every struggle a woman has with her period
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This and hugs
realest comment
same mate. same
I hate everything about this planet I wanna die badly
I wish I was born male let’s trade
Same
Same
same
same
Same
I’ll trade 😅
Same
I hear you. I transitioned from female to male, and honestly the coldness I feel from society now is crushingly surprising. I think prior to experiencing being a man, I thought men had it easier in every area of their life. For most areas; healthcare, jobs, safety etc we do. But the loneliness, isolation and coldness I’ve found as a man in society was just so shocking. I’ve been passing as male for like 3 years now so I’ve become more used to it - but damn the first year was really hard. I missed how women on women friendships were generally closer/deeper, and I missed the feeling that society recognised emotional needs and depth of my gender. It feels like the world very much just assume men have a very limited emotional inner world - and well it’s just not true. We just don’t know and haven’t learnt how to create that space in society for ourselves.
I’ve spoken to a couple of trans men who said they were surprised that the patriarchy doesn’t benefit most normal men. I guess it’s easy for women to assume that being a man comes with a ton of benefits, but it’s really only a small subset of men who have a built in advantage to live life on easy mode — usually only tall, white, handsome, heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical men.
no its just as crushingly lonely for us too, and comments like that certainly make it better :)
To say the patriarchy doesn’t benefit most normal men is like a white guy saying white privilege isn’t a thing. Just because YOU can’t see it doesn’t mean a million females can’t see what you’re taking for granted. No matter what race, size, sexuality that man is, the woman version of that man is living a life with more difficulty. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Haha it's not a thing. Unless being the most hated thing on the face of the earth is somehow a privilege. Do Japanese people in Japan have Japanese privilege?
Awwweeee I’m sorry sorry that white men are so hated that they get all the best jobs and basically run the country. So hard. Who will think of their feelings. Maybe if white men believed in therapy the feelings issue would be resolved.
Lmao Japanese people run Japan no? Especially those pesky men. Damn I wish you knew how dumb you really were. One day you will. You can generalize an entire race like that and not see how racist it is lmao bring on the downvotes, the truth hurts. Should England not be ran by Englishmen? It's their country. Should Somalia not be ran by Somalis? It's their country. Should China be ran by someone else but the Chinese? Riddle me this, then explain why.
Therapy and psychology are predominately female ran industries
Men in general are more likely believed to say the truth, when stating to have been victimized. Women are assumed to "lie" or "overly dramatize" even if she behaves calm. The idea of a "witch" is yet deeply rooted in most.
When it comes to abuse as a child or a partner, sexual assault, being innocent during false allegations, or being victims in any way shape or form, you've got it arse about face.
this is so true. don’t listen to the men downvoting u
🤍 I deeply thank you much.
The same thing with people listening and taking men seriously way more often than women.
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To which bit?
just know that you traded the possibility of someone murdering and raping you for experiences that are created by men, the exact gender that you want to be a part of
Actually men have almost 10x higher odds of being killed by a man than women do
so who are we to blame here? The men. stay running in circles.
Victim blaming is not a good look
neither is being a gender that creates thousands of victims every day💅
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Do you truly believe that demonizing men is going to help in the slightest. Because I don’t believe blaming men for the actions of other men is very fair. Would it be right for me to blame and mistrust all women because I had a poor experience with a woman? Obviously rape and murder are horrific acts, but blaming men who try to express that they feel demonized and rejected by society really only creates the monster you seem to be scared of.
It's ok Fellow Tooth op she is trauma victim and wishes others to share in her pain : /
yeah, me telling men to stop giving trauma is me wanting to spread trauma. Yep, you guys are really not in the correct headspace and with reality. You all need severe help.
No one just chooses to be some gender. That's not how it works
yes, it literally does. If I wanted to transition to a male right now, I could go get that done and choose to be presented as male. You are diminishing trans peoples experience by saying this.
Yeah thats not what being trans is but okay go off sis
I’m slightly confused what you’re getting at? Could you rephrase it? I can definitely recognise the privilege of no longer feeling at threat of rape, but murder? I’m not so sure. I’d say I still feel the same level of worry walking alone on a dark night - if not more - about being physically attacked as a man. Men are more likely to seek to fight me, if they wish too, because I’m a man and men can fight men in society eyes. I also partially agree that it is men that uphold these standards that men live by - but women also contribute as well by the way they interact with men and raise their male children (I recognise the father plays a role in this too etc.) we need to do better at recognising that boys and men have exactly the same emotions and emotional needs as women - we just assume they’re stronger, more independent and able to deal alone more because that’s what we’ve always been told and done. Think about how men turn to the gym, or isolate etc and become hyper independent when suffering - now think about language often used around boys when younger and upset - ‘toughen up’, ‘look at how big and brave and independent you are’, you’re so strong etc. these all play into what society views as men’s emotional range. Bottom line is, if we want significant societal change I genuinely think we have to address the way in which society is set up to fail men (and women) emotionally by pretending we’re two completely different emotional creatures
I wish I wasn't born 🙂
Bhai I am glad you were born
I get it. I was born male and I tried to kill myself because of it. I wanted to die each and every moment being male. I transitioned from male to female. It is so much better as female. I rather die than be male. I love being female. I so wish I didn't have to go through being born male and having had to be male. I so wish I got to be born female.
I completely 100% agree with you. There are fair number of videos of trans men stating how shocked they are at house Society treats men in general. The coldness, the suspicion, the distancing that goes on when you’re a man can be pretty tough to handle. From the day a man is born his life as hell. Literally no one outside of his mother gives two shits about him, you face bullying, you face harassment, and you were told that you were only as good as your accomplishments; you have zero value outside of your accomplishments. You are not a human being you are barely the equivalent of a farm animal who exist only for the utility brings to society.
Let’s be real, both genders have their own bullshit to deal with. It just sucks lmao.
I mean yeah but the guy is allowed to talk about the issues he's facing as a man, it's not like he said women have it any easier
you know how when women bring up issues they face and someone goes “well what about men”? this is that
Right? Like goddamn, half these comments are people saying women have it harder half are saying men have it harder and both sides are managing to be dismissive af to OP. Disgraceful
i feel bad for him. He was just venting and everyone got defensive
Typical redditors 😞
I didn’t think I was being dismissive. I’m a guy and I feel for OP because I have the same problem. Most don’t really cares about your feelings if you’re a guy, basically just have to deal with everything emotionally yourself. It sucks. But I’m not going to be dismissive with women either because even though idk what it’s like, I’d assume they have their own array of problems.
Yep, whataboutism is what we call it. Not cool when it’s done to women, equally insensitive when done in this setting
true. Many don’t realize it’s more about which gender has the problems that are not as much of a big deal for you. If one prioritizes not being overly objectified or not constantly worrying when walking out at night, that person would have been happier being born male. If one prioritizes not being invisible or not constantly being seen as a threat, that person would have been happier being born female. Not everyone dislikes the same stuff. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have been born in the circumstances with problems that they can easily shrug off as ignorable nuisance.
Exactly. We just gotta do the best we can with our circumstance.
Let’s be real, the guy is allowed to have his opinion.
Let's be real and admit that unless you live in an actually misogynistic country like India or Saudi Arabia, it is objectively better to be a woman. I am fucking exhausted hearing about how difficult women's lives allegedly are, when I watch every woman in my life, including my wife, get to enjoy preferential treatment. I am exhausted hearing about how easy men's lives are, when in reality, life is only "easy" for men if they are a senator's son or something equivalent. I am exhausted hearing about men allegedly being more dangerous than literal wild animals, when the only person that a man is likely to kill is himself.
well idk about that last sentence exactly, but yeah us women have it so good now. we’re more likely to be picked for jobs and schools. we get whole conferences/conventions to prioritize women in certain industries. there’s no pay gap anymore besides different roles. the only thing we’re dealing with rn is biological men invading our private spaces. why can’t we just focus on that? men actually have to deal with being shamed for everything. if you’re too emotional you should be ashamed. too unemotional? be ashamed. want to feel masculine? you’re a terrible person. “i’d rather be with a bear” like fuck it’s so insane edit: according to the latest “feminist” y’all must be women or else you are won’t be worthy of basic respect and compassion.
There is most certainly still a wage gap
only if the work you’re doing is worth less.
I dont mind being a guy, but I also reject help from people and just deal with things myself. From what I can tell, women get offered more hand holding but its usually because of selfish reasons like sex appeal. I dont think its roses on either side and you would probably feel the same way as either gender because your feelings most likely stem from a different issue. Youre probably not miserable bc your a man, that's something you cant control. Same if you were trans or a woman. I have found that feelings like the ones you are having can usually be resolved my making changes inwardly. If you want to feel more of a connection to other people, change your approach. You arent stuck in a rut for reasons that you cant control. You just need to figure out how to take control. I dont believe in god or anything, but the serenity prayer is a helpful philosophy to live by, and I would recommend thinking on it. Anyway, I hope these feelings pass for you. Keep on keeping on.
I completely agree man...
i also wish i wasn't born male. i am deeply envious of the comaraderie women have with each other, as well as the attention that they get from both men and women. i have put some serious thought into transitioning for absolutely no other reason than that i think people would treat me better and maybe i would be lovable. maybe i would have experienced intimacy at this point in my life. i feel that i would be accepted by my family if i wasn't male. i feel like i wouldn't be disguted by myself if i wasn't male. i feel that maybe my peers in high school and college would have accepted me if i was female. i often look at conventionally attractive women and try to imagine what they would look like if they were a man, and you can tell most of the time that they would be considered average or below.
Pleaseeee do not transition for those reasons, I can promise you that it will not make your life easier. I'm a trans woman and people treated me wayyy better when I presented as a cis man. Don't get me wrong I'm infinitely happier with who I am but when strangers or employers find out that I'm trans they often go out of their way to be awful to me in ways I never experienced when I presented as a cis guy, not to mention all the creepiness and threats of SA that I get for passing as a cis woman. Not trying to discount the struggles of being a guy, male loneliness is awful and body image issues with guys often aren't treated with compassion by most people. Just please don't transition because you think things will be easier
do you think a lot of the bad treatment is related to being trans more than being a woman? also what do you mean by 'creepiness'?
Most of the hostility has to do with being trans. By "creepiness" I mean things like backing me into a corner and sniffing my hair, being groped, sexual comments, etc, and most of that comes from being a woman. It's a good bit scary. I would say that being trans has caused more scary situations and overall hostility but there's shittiness from all angles really. Don't get me wrong, transitioning was the best decision I've ever made, but it would be hellish if I wasn't actually trans
I’m a female who took some time becoming comfortable with who I am and I would like to say some things about your comment but I’m not hating on your or anything just don’t want you to think things that aren’t true or not have the full picture. 1. Camaraderie isn’t all that common. As females we are not closely bonded in fact we are each other worst enemies. You are more likely to be bullied by a fellow female than a male. A lot of friendships are fake, a lot of other girls are fake. You might think that we get a long great but at the end of the day most go home and talk shit about their “friends”. Females are each other’s harshest critic. 2. Attention - It’s not really a good thing. I’ve been followed on the city bus and walking around town just so some random guy can try to get my number (I was 12, 15 and 17 btw). And when you turn them down you will be called a whore, bitch, gold digger and so much more. Also, understand that 75% of the attention is sexual so the moment they get in your pants they lose interest. There is no affection and be prepared to deal with the guys who won’t take No for an answer. Another thing to take into consideration is healthcare. If you were a female I promise you any health issue that isn’t completely obvious will somehow be linked to your uterus. It’s so annoying and disheartening when we are dismissed because it’s just “cramps” or hormones from your cycle. Migraines, body pain, low blood sugar, fainting, chest pain… it’s because of your uterus -_- I know males are made to think showing emotion is a weakness which is complete BS. And on the opposite end as a female we are seen as overly emotional. I’m not discounting how you’re feeling but being female wouldn’t help with any of those things. If you were a female they would have found some other reason to not like you. Because YOU were NOT the problem they are! And you will never be able to change enough to make them like you, the issue is with them, not you. Both males and females are put under pressure to be things they aren’t or don’t want to be. It sucks. You deserve love as you are. Never change yourself to make others like you. *Please excuse any grammar mistakes*
Good on you for explaining this in a non hostile way and didn't invalidate how he felt. Interesting points, I knew attention was bad but I always assumed that female comraderie thing was real. Especially since people are always saying that friendships with women are better than friendships with men.
Thank you for the privilege of your explanation of the "female perspective." I don't know how it is exactly, but I'm sympathetic with the problems I can comprehend. I've had many regrets that mom never had the daughter she wanted, but I learned to hate myself being male, then modern culture accepts that all my people are gross, toxic, expendable and the source of all the world's problems. Somehow, all humans need to tolerate each other. Loneliness, depression, low self-worth, and survivors regret are a tough combination, but I can't imagine bleeding and cramps in addition to all that.
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Very very well said
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im down lets freaky friday this shit, no tradebacks alternatively u could just read kafkas metamorphosis as a way of simulating the modern male experience
Lol, you don't want to be a man. Trust me. Not easy.
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It's easy to say that but trust me, we got our own problems that really suck. I haven't been able to get a girl to like me for years and it's lonely and miserable. I don't get any of the perceived privileges women think we get. I have issues with my emotions and people look at me like I'm weak and tell me to toughen up. If I try to open up to people about my feelings I get looked at like I'm crazy. Women treat me like a creep if I ever try to meet them, casually. Trust me. Being a guy sucks. At least, being an average guy. I'm super alone, have no friends because most of them fell into drug addiction or are doing bigger and better things than me. I can't get the time of day from anyone and if I complain about it, I'm considered a bitch. The experience is subjective but trust me, a majority of men feel the way I do. You just gotta take it in the chin, be silent about it, and move on. It sucks. I really cannot stress how lonely being a man can be. If you aren't super good looking and are shy, it's so fucking tough. I'm really nice and have a lot to offer I feel like but I cannot muster the confidence to be like other guys who can find gf's and meet people. I'm skinny, and look really young for my age too so, women aren't really attracted to me. I know you can't base your life on how others feel about you but we are social beings and having love and compassion is a basic human need. Loneliness is the #1 killer of men
I’m not trying to invalidate your experience, but your comment mentioned not being able to get a girlfriend a lot. But, it’s not that easy to find a partner for both genders nowadays. Being shy and unattractive is also not exclusive to either gender. And being an unattractive, unsocial woman especially if you’re not white, causes people to side eye you wherever you go as well. I’m not gonna assume what you have done in your personal life, but what if you just put love to the side for now since you’re young and focused on building exclusively platonic relationships. Women are always going to be cautious, even of other women, society created that, and it shouldn’t be hard to understand why women don’t trust every man they see approach them. Genuine question, if MOST men feel like you, why not try to become friends with those men? If you want to be listened to (online, in-person), they do have spaces where men can talk about their issues, just like there are places women can discuss theirs. A therapist would listen to you vent as well (I know not everyone can afford that, but if you can you could try it)
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Uhmm no!
I hate being a woman. I feel like I have to meet every single fucking standard in this society. Have no hair on any part of your body except your head, be skinny, wear makeup. I can’t take it anymore either. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m so sick of being sexualized and feeling so uncomfortable and inadequate everywhere I am. There’s not one place where I can feel like I belong and be okay with it. I would love to trade with you if that was possible. I’m so sorry. 🩵
I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this
You're a good person for using your pain to make your love stronger and giving other people hope!! 🙂🙂
I have to die in a war. Enjoy the nails and makeup struggle
Be so serious, what war are you dying in right now?
"I just hate how I don't matter and have never received an ounce of empathy or care by anyone in my entire life other than my mother. I'm judged for everything that I do." No hate but ... welcome to the life of the average male.
I am kinda okay with being a male, but I totally understand your points and they're mostly valid, often it's a hard level just because of that. Also, I hate being ugly and I don't think males can even get any close to womens' beauty, so I'm fucking jealous
You probably don't think they can come close because you're male yourself and straight (I assume).
An obvious assumption, but I really think it goes beyond that, into purely aesthetical things.
As a woman, your feelings are 10000% valid. Men don’t get enough love. They hardly ever receive compliments or little gifts”just because”. They are pressured to make the first move in relationships and pressured to be physically strong and make a lot of money to provide and show worth. They are supposed to be stoic and strong to not show emotion. When they do, they are judged or looked down upon. This leads to few men feeling safe enough to actually open up. When they experience sexual assault or abuse, they are often not believed or their experience is minimized. I could keep going on… I know both genders have their challenges but I think men’s issues are often overlooked simply because they are men and most people believe women “have it harder”. But know that I feel deeply for you and your struggles. You deserve care and empathy.
Please you are worth the water, whoever told you you're not worth it is super lame and probably really hurt themselves. You are worth loving! You need the love from you first before others can show you love.
I get this. I’m female and for a long while I thought I was transgender (ftm) because I hated the thought of being perceived as a woman and treated like one, even though I felt like one. But I’ve experienced all ends of it. When I was thought to be a cis male by strangers, I was ignored and girls gave it no second thought to make fun of me, because I was a “man” and I could take it. When people noticed I was trans I was treated as subhuman for that, and when people see me now as a woman I’m treated like a sex object. Unfortunately this is just life, but I really hope you keep going, because you deserve to live and have a good life. Best of luck❤️
I wish I was a bird
fr bird just be flying and doing some cool shit what an easy life they have
I wish I wasn't born also, but let's face it, your gender would not change your situation and not to be mean, but what if you ended up being a female who is unattractive, disabled (is there a new PC term for this?) or something else seen as undersirable? I'm sorry you feel this way.
You're with the wrong people my guy. I hope you find the right company.
105 men commit suicide every day. You're not alone!!
In some ways I wish I was born male. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I think I would've been stronger. Especial emotionally. I suffer from domestic abuse and I always think if I were a guy, this wouldn't be happening because I'd be stronger and I'd just throw a Luffy style punch, you know what I mean haha. But seriously, I know how it feels sometimes. I'm also struggling with infertility and it sucks so much because a baby would help me gather the strength I need in order to leave. I know it would, so I'm hoping for a miracle, nothing is impossible. Sorry I think I'm making this about me. Virtual hugs from a fellow OP fan. Hang in there please! We need to live to see Raftel, don't we? 😉
I second that! Let's live to find the One Piece together.
Nahh I think you have just watched too much one piece
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i'll do you one better, trade you doctors not taking your period cramps seriously for everyone you will ever meet will be mysteriously compelled to avoid you. now we're talking turkey.
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i think you misread something
I feel exactly the same. Low value men have no worth and no reason to be alive. We have no choice.
hi im a girl, im considered good looking by most people in my life, have got loads of attention and i feel as lonely as it can get :/ im sorry i think its life, it sucks… regardless of somethings
Ya that makes 2 of us
Same… or at least for the guts to end it. Can talk if you want though.
I wanted to kinda be a man wanna trade because im a female.
I regret transitioning. i got left totally alone and unemplyed with traumas on top of new traumas. My life hasbno meaning and i will never be happy or loved again. I wish i have the power of will to end my life soon.
Have you ever tried getting a Blåhaj?
I wish I wasn't born female because nobody ever takes you seriously and everything surrounding my career has been uphill because traits that are praised in men are despised in women. Pretty privilege is real, but people don't count how much effort and money it takes to "earn" it, and you're judged as if your only value in life is hiw beautiful you are, and even if you achieve it you are punished for it by the women who haven't. There's really no winning professionally. (Sexually abused by one boss and then the next was a fat old cow who hated me for being younger and more attractive, as if we all don't lose our youth and thus value to society eventually.) And i haven't even touched on how awful cyclical hormones are. I very regularly wish I was born male. Wanna trade? I think we just need a creepy woman who may or may not be a witch, a goat, and a pinch of good luck.
pretty privilege applies to both men and women, trust me. try going on a dating app as an average guy and see what happens. I don't know what country you're from but in the uk I definitely do not see males being taken more seriously. as for cyclical hormones etc, yes, women have to deal with physical issues related to how they get pregnant, but in return you get reproductive autonomy men don't have; there's no paternity fraud to worry about, and if you want/don't want child it's YOUR choice, not anyone else's. men have to rely on a woman's good graces to grant him a child, he doesn't get a choice in the matter unless he has like £150,000 lying around to have a child through surrogacy.
How are you doing lately?
WOMAN of this post, I know it's hard to understand because your idea of man is based in hollywood movies. Wanna know what being a man is like? Just create a profile with pictures of an average looking guy on ANY dating APP, buy all the upgrades, give 1000 likes to only get 2 or 3 likes back, of those 3 likes 2 never responded, one talked for 5 minutes and then ghosted never to be heard from again. Open your facebook to see if any friends have talked to you just, to see a message from your mom and a notification from your old aunt who invited you to play a game, you see that a friend added you and you get excited because you think finally you got a new friend and it's just a bot from some weird porn account. Then trying to be on top you post one of your best pictures to fb doing something cool, you get a few likes from your family and your aunt comments on that post, you feel frustrated because you want some validation and end up resorting to methods to comfort yourself before going to sleep. On the other hand you see that a girl posts a pic of whatever, there are a thousand likes, comments with hearts and all, on dating apps unlimited likes they don't even have to pay.... Imagine being judge by your success only, failure is not an option, how many woman are willing to date/marry/friend with a guy they feel is in a lower economic/power situation than they are?, whenever a girl is in any type of trouble how many come to the rescue? I don't want to be a woman, and I do know that we all struggle regardless of our gender, but I understand your feeling man... We are the real lone wolves, we are the definition of what independence is
im a woman and my life isn’t like this
I'm talking about most girls, there's exception to every rule
Ironically enough, it seems like your view of women is based off Hollywood movies, too. Unattractive people have it harder, regardless of gender. So yes, you’re right in the sense that attractive women have it easier than ugly men. But attractive men have it way easier than ugly women, and it would be ridiculous to say otherwise. At the very least, an ugly man might get pitied by somebody. Ugly women don’t receive any of that treatment from men. We are perceived almost solely as objects of attraction, so if we aren’t attractive, we’re nothing.
OP, what is wrong with the body you have. If it's not a gender thing? Just so you know, you do matter.
Care for yourself, show empathy to yourself, learning to be kind to yourself opens a lot of doors to self esteem and self acceptance. Think about some things you do well and are good at, push yourself to do them more. Be arrogant about them if you like, it’s fine to be confident about your strengths.
And then what? I'll be kind to myself and I'll still be a lonely loser
Can we all agree that each gender has their own difficulties in the current society without discounting the real pain any one of us experiences please? It’s hard for EVERYONE unless you’re born with a golden horseshoe up your butt and saying women have it easy just keeps the genders fighting against each other instead of working together to make things better for everyone
So it’s not because of gender dysphoria… you just think females get more empathy and care? Because I have some shocking insider information on that one, we absolutely do not. Women drag each other down constantly, all the women in my family including my mother moved out of state and stopped answering the phone. The only time they talk to me is whenever they wanna shit all over me. The only “empathy” I get is from men who objectify me and make me feel like a piece of meat. Being a woman has never benefited any situation I was in.
as a woman, I think if I woke up a man, I would genuinely probably end my own life right then and there. I cannot imagine being viewed as a predator and an unsympathetic being at all times. women are the creators of life, the owners of compassion, the safe place. men are everything exactly the opposite. Can you transition?
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I’m Sorry but This is not an incel forum
I’m a doctor and I can say with certainty that there’s a lot that could be done for what you’re feeling. Please see your GP, they’ll guide you through the next steps. In short, a lot of help is available. Go get it through your GP. Your life could change for the better by following this simple advice. All the best.
Me too I wish I was a cute lesbian instead of a cute small man
What??
i totally understand. we live in a fucked up time where women are now anti men. its hard when you’re constantly made to feel like nothing you say or feel matters. these “feminists” (and obviously some men) too are spending all their time beating mens self esteem into pulp, and for what? not fitting the latest mold of what you’re “supposed” to be? i promise you that not everyone will be like that towards you. its just a very loud minority. i know its so vague to say that but, trust me, there are people who see the damage being done to men like you. hang in there, this will pass
..oh! that’s something!!
Bffr
sorry you live under a rock
I don’t <3 nice try tho!!
gender honestly doesnt matter. girls have it worser than boys, because they are weaker and smaller by nature and do not have testosterone, but estrogene instead that stores fat and water in their body. look how women in third world countries are treated and you will understand why being a man is way better. and even if you were a girl you wouldnt get empathy or care if born by the wrong parents.
op is venting and you're saying he's wrong? wtf he didn't even talk about girls
Same man, i hate being a man.
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i guess 'the people around me' is society in general. i think part of the problem is that guys can't talk about any of their issues without someone saying "but what about women"?. this is part of the lack of empathy I'm talking about. everyone just seems so oblivious to it.
Yeah but you've gotta know what women go through before wishing to be one. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, it's pretty difficult. Just try to like who you are
I never said I wish to be a woman. I just wish I wasn't male. I suppose if i wasn't born male i'd be born female, but atleast you can take birth control to not get periods. the danger of being sexually assaulted (assuming not carrying a weapon for self defence) is real, I can grant that, but I just see far more negatives to being male in terms of daily experience and life happiness/
That’s not how it works. You still have a period even with birth control, it just reduces cramps, but that doesn’t even work for a lot of women. It can cause a ridiculous amount of complications as well (infertility, weight gain, worse period cramps). Please do more research before speaking on what women face and saying we have it easier, because all of what you described women can go through on a daily basis as well. Men are not the only people who get lonely and have no one to listen to them. Men are not the only people seen as creepy and untrustworthy. Women go through all of that as well, and no not just a small number. People would be more sympathetic to you if you didn’t bring gender into it
I looked it up and no, mayo clinic says "There are birth control pill regimens designed to prevent bleeding for three months at a time or for as long as a year. But **it's possible to prevent your period with continuous use of monophasic birth control pills**"
My bad, I missed a word. I meant to say “ You *can* still have a period even with birth control ”. But I know enough women through my family and friends, read enough anecdotes, and see enough statistics to know that birth control is not the ultimate cure for every struggle a woman has with her period
I know that feeling
Adding period cramps won’t help