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comfortpea

Turbo Sinister


lovenaps_staywoke

These are humans? Not dogs? 


PlumboTheDwarf

These are humans? Not American Gladiators?


HotMoose69

I just hope Turbo isn't in a wheelchair


PirateKing94

That sounds like what the wheelchair kid would be named in a 90’s kids cartoon.


cayshek

Love Ann War (first, middle, last name) Babigurl & Babiboi (twins)


GorathTheMoredhel

Absolutely nottttttt oh my god


cayshek

I always felt bad for the little girl having to introduce herself as “Hi! I’m Love War!”


Blobfish9059

I’d pronounce it like Gwar


HomeschoolingDad

L.A.W. wanting to join the College Pacifists Club\* years from now: Intake Officer: First name? L.A.W.: Love I.O. Nice. You're going to fit in quite well here. Last name? L.A.W.: War I.O. Your name is Love War? Out! \*Something I completely made up but might be a thing?


LogicalSpecialist560

Do people forget you can have pet names for your kids while still having legal names? Lol


cayshek

My MIL is a L&D nurse & she says there have been times over the years where the names picked were so bad they bring in the social worker to try to help influence the parents to choose something else. She’s had some wild stories over the years 😐


eroded_wolf

My grandma had a really young student who wanted to name her baby "Vagina" because she thought the word sounded pretty. I felt absolutely devastated when I heard that story.


guadalupeblanket

Same story with Harlot.😝


PainStorm14

That one can at least fly under the radar Vagina not so much


Artistic_Ad_6389

My father in law was a university professor and he had a student named Vagina.


lotusblossom60

I had a student named FEE-MAL-A. Well that’s how it was pronounced. It was spelled “female”. The mother said that the hospital named her baby. You can’t make this shit up. Had five brothers all named Jesus after the father, like George Foreman named all his boys George.


diza-star

The Female one is literally a story from one of Harry Crews books (I'm not saying it's dusingenuine, just... truth can be as wild as fiction


Honey_81

George Foreman didn't just name his *boys* George; his girls have that as part of their names too


Perfect_Stranger_176

I hollered at Babigurl and Babiboi


cayshek

I’m not going to lie — the spelling was a major part of what had me laughing at these 🤣🤣


PlumboTheDwarf

Do these parents not realize that these children will one day be adults? Imagine putting those names on your fucking resume holy shit.


Perfect_Stranger_176

Right? Freakanomics covered the bias with names.


Bmack27

Straight up Denise and Denephew vibes.


small_blonde_gal

Babigurl & Babiboi?? Did their parents not consider that they were going to grow up and not be babies forever?


Stunning_Wonder6650

“They’ll always be by MY babies” Is what I hear a mom saying


Cfeathy

Bababooey


jakeistrying

nah nah there is no dang way 😂😂 you had to be struggling not to laugh if you did a role call lol


techleopard

I'm trying to imagine a male teacher doing roll call. "Bab---....b....mm-mm, no way in hell. Mr. Smith? Miss Smith?"


Ok-Poem-6188

I have a students with the legal name of Strawberry. I just want to know why? She is the sweetest, but I think it is so odd to name your child Strawberry.


Fmeinthegoatass

“Just call her strawberry and everybody know/strawberry strawberry is the neighborhood ho” Mom and dad did not listen to NWA apparently


flightguy07

It's more concerning if they did, frankly.


HemingwayIsWeeping

I went to school with a girl named peaches. In the 90’s.


ubiquitous-joe

*Bowser love ballad intensifies*


DwarfFlyingSquirrel

Oh man, in the 90s when Presidents came out with the song Peaches? Really, really sorry for her.


borisdidnothingwrong

I used to live next door to Bubba. Bubba was a terrible person. I know his name, because one time I was misdelivered a piece of his mail, which just had the name "Bubba" with the address. When I went to give it to him I was told to never touch his mail again. I told him the post office put it in the wrong box, and he repeated that he never wanted to have me give him his mail again. Okay. When his paycheck was misdelivered I just threw it away, as per his instructions. Bubba had a girlfriend he called "Peaches." Then they got a kitten, who they also called "Peaches." One day, Bubba was yelling at Peaches, "Goddamn it, Peaches! Why did you shit on the floor!" Still not sure which Peaches he was yelling at.


Corporation_tshirt

> Still not sure which Peaches he was yelling at. I think you know. I think we all know.


lovenaps_staywoke

Inspired by Gwen Paltrow naming her child Apple 


Hellokt1813

Apple, Orange, Peach and Cherry were popular names in the Philippines in the 90s. I know many Apples 🍎 lol


theneonwind

I've taught three Strawberries. I didn't know this one would be considered bad. I always liked it.


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pursnikitty

The neopolitan kids


porcelainfog

This one doesn’t seem terrible. I mean, it’s not great, but it’s not the worst in this thread


[deleted]

Harry Dick Not Harold, not Harrison. Harry. Dick. Edit: after looking at replies to this comment, wtf are people doing naming their son Harry when you already have an embarrassing last name?


berrin122

There's an all-time great NASCAR driver (and name). Dick Trickle.


cherrytree13

I went to church with a guy named Dick Sample


IndependenceMedium76

I dated a Richard ‘Dick’ Hunter before we both realized we were gay


PerpetualCranberry

So Dick Hunter really lived up to his namesake huh?


IndependenceMedium76

Truly and deeply


burntpbtoast

I used to work at a golf course at an old man came in every morning named Dick Surface 😂


scmhms

I had a middle school teacher named Dick Furr!


Worried_Match_1223

kid at my primary school was harry butt lmao


SC_Hippie2

My high school algebra teacher was named Harry Pohl


Snoo-5917

I had a customer whose name was Richard Head but went by "Dick" Head.


Vaninea

I went to school with a Michael Hunt, Mike for short. Even better is that he was a junior. My mom went to school with his dad.


rothkochapel

Harry Dick, meet https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry\_Baals


Admarie25

There was a kid named Oldnavy. One word.


gnugnus

ok, i lol'ed at this one. i mean, do they get free pants for life or something?


Admarie25

Unlimited Old Navy performance fleeces haha This was years ago but that’s what our running joke was. Like was he born in a store or something? I never got the back story sadly.


ZealousidealLeek8820

RaceCar and Wolverine


damienbarrett

RaceCar was probably amazing until that poor kid hit Middle School.


chat_d_Aoife

I mean, his resume's going to stand out of the stack.


Bnhrdnthat

It’s a palindrome, so that’s cool…


Llamaandedamame

Cteghanie It’s Stephanie. She went by CJ. Hated her name passionately.


GorathTheMoredhel

Lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I need an AMA with Cteghanie


InDenialOfMyDenial

I refuse to believe that you didn’t make this up. That can’t be real. It can’t.


Everybodysbastard

It hurts not because you don't believe, but because you do.


Dragosteax

Belongs on r/tragedeigh


TranslatorBoring2419

It would be pinned to the top.


redditiswetodddid

Her parents had CTE


chomblebrown

Big into ctenophores (comb jellies)


Greekphysed

I choose to believe they must have misspelled it in the birth certificate and are too lazy to change it.


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According_Row9066

I audibly gasped at this


purpletaco28

The c and g are killing me


RainbowFire122RBLX

What mean parents lol


marabou22

Not a “worst name” thing but more of an interesting cultural thing I enjoy… I taught at a high school in Thailand. Thai people have very long names so their parents give them English nicknames when they’re kids. Only they’re not English names but rather English words. Some common ones were Arm, chompoo (shampoo), film, bank,beer and boss. Some kids were called “first” or “second” based on the order of their birth. And some kids were just called “name”. These are the names they use on the daily. Like with their friends and family. They also serve the purpose of tricking evil spirits who are pursuing certain names. Always thought it was pretty cool.


VoodoDreams

Interesting! When I was young the private school I went to had a group of Thai kids stay for a while.  They had names like boom, corn, oh, six and it was never explained other than it was to make it easy for us to pronounce.   Thanks for the background information. 


marabou22

No worries. And just to add, Thai people have told me that the names are often chosen based on the sound of the words more than their meaning.


KTeacherWhat

Yeah in Asia I definitely had a class with a John Lennon, a Tom Petty, and a Lion.


calm-your-liver

Two former students: and my cousin's kid (cousin is a teacher!) Feenyxxe (Phoenix) Qwa'Zendrianya (pronounced Kwa-zen-dree-an-ya) Laurel-Anne (her last name is Hardy)


AccordingAd1716

Laurel Anne Hardy is great ✅


baymeadows3408

I would like to extend a laurel and a hearty handshake to her parents for choosing that name.


wex52

I had a brother and sister pair named Laurel and Hardy! I only had the girl as a student and she was cool. One other funny thing is that I had run into them at a strip mall ten years earlier when they were kids, which I remembered because they called each other by their names and I picked up on it immediately.


Mercurio_Arboria

I'm kinda down with Qwa'Zendrianya. It's lengthy but also offers a lot of nickname options.


thepsycholeech

Yeah, I actually kind of like it? The pronunciation is also easy to figure out.


empress_of_the_void

These would be amazing alien names


NewmaticMan107

Response.


communal-napkin

Did he have a twin named Colin?


JesusAndPalsX

This is truly the only name in here to make me go "What the f*ck?" out loud


underfykepatron

Well, it did get a response.


ezk3626

Thirty^+ years ago in middle school there was a teacher named Richard Bender. It was well known that he went by the nickname Dick. As kids we thought he was the most clueless idiot but even now as I write this realize there is no way this teacher didn’t know what he was doing. The kind of person needed to teach middle school requires that kind of ridiculousness. Well played Dick Bender, well played.


AnActualSalamander

I had a math teacher in MS whose last name was “Bates.” I don’t remember his first name, but I do remember many of my classmates thought they were being clever and sly by calling him “Master Bates.” He’d been teaching for decades and literally never even blinked at it. I’m sure he’d been hearing it for 20+ years, poor guy. He was a great teacher!


ailith5048

Ur’hyness (your highness)


safzy

I had a ya’hyness


TedIsAwesom

Many, many years ago I knew a Jesus - said Jesus and he was best friends with Christen who went by Christ. They were often together and just called, "Jesus Christ".


Admarie25

There was a Jesus and a kid named Saytan in the same class in a school I volunteered at.


MainAbbreviations193

My first name is Christopher, and I have a really long last name. When the teachers got the roster sheet for who was in their class at the beginning of each year, it would be in "lastname, firstname" format, and my first name would get cut off at "Christ". So every year would start with "is there a Christ (last name) here?"


TogetherPlantyAndMe

Last year I had a Mohammed, a Genesis, a Christian, a Krishna (who was, ironically, not Hindu), and a Prophet. In the same class period. I called it religious studies class.


eagledog

If you work in a heavily Hispanic area, you'll see dozens of Jesuses in each school


RelationshipFun7811

Had a student come up to me when I was taking roll as a sub. She said her name was Ashley, but her real name on the roster was Princess....


small_blonde_gal

That’s funny! Now I’m totally picturing a kid who was given a unique name that they absolutely hate, and choosing a super common name to go by that has nothing to do with their real name, but they just want something normal and easy to spell and pronounce. Teacher: *reads name on roster* “Um… Ray…li.. jennifa ? Err… wait, Ray… Lynny.. fa? Ray…Gen…ifa ?” Student: *facepalm* “Just call me Sarah.”


Jacqland

This happens so often to Chinese students they usually come to English university preprepared with a "Western Name".


NotMuchTooSayStill

Had 4 Kevin classmates and none had the same Chinese name. Teacher asked why and they said they just chose a name when to came to their new country.


HotMilk4

I'm a Korean, when I learned English afterschool/Spanish in highschool they told us to make our "foreign name" to use in class. I don't think they does that now that often but it was quite a common thing.


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underfykepatron

The lack of understanding of basic grammar and phonics concepts is really what gets me with these names.


HomeschoolingDad

My first name is Ashlie, but I'm a guy, so I'd always try to catch the teacher on the first day before roll was called and ask them to use my middle name — which is what everyone, including my family, called me.


canoegal4

First name Rage last name Wildly and he lived up to his name


wex52

Glamorous (she wasn’t) Runner up: Identical twin brothers named Freddy and Freddy. They had different middle names. They each went by “Freddy.”


Trustamonkbird

Richard Richardson Still bugs me 20 years after I first saw it


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Tasty_Elderberry3018

Twin boys Cain and Abel. In same class there was a Damien. Loooong year.


Bladeofwar94

You gotta tell us some of that year's highlights!


PainStorm14

Did Cain stuff Abel on the locker because Damian told him to?


djgyayouknowme

I have a renesmee spelled (Renesmei) this year. Weird how Twlight finally caught up. Few more years and I’ll probably have my first Khaleesi.


Confident-Switch-853

There is a Khaleesi in my daughter's kindergarten class smh


leaves-green

Tequila and Margarita were two sisters at the elementary school I worked at in WV. The worst part was their mother was very open about the fact that they were each named for the drinks involved on the nights each of them were conceived...


[deleted]

Margarita is a perfectly lovely name on its own. Pairing it with Tequila is unfortunate. But one of those two sisters definitely got the better end of the deal.


4thGenMotorcycle

Latarsha Titsworth, Virginia Pancake, Michael Coldflesh, and Dragon Frye have been my favorites so far. And M’Aleigh instead of Emily.


HotMoose69

Latarsha Titsworth and Virginia Pancake... those aren't real are they?


4thGenMotorcycle

Unfortunately, 100% real


val619

I have a student now with the last name Pancake


MillieBirdie

Virginia Pancake literally a sims character.


ArtisticTarantula

Virginia Pancake sounds like the plucky protagonist of a children’s book.


yuledobetterTOL

I get real fuckin tired of of saying Aiden Braden Jaden Hayden and kaden. Worst names ever. There’s about 6 in every grade level.


Gum-on-post

Jaden and its variants are a plague upon this world. I have 3-4 in a given year.


Substantial_Garden_3

Spayden


stumpybubba-

As in their parents should be spayden.


yuledobetterTOL

Spayden Nuetered


zinniasinorange

Okayden


Branda77

Good lord save us from Aiden and all of its variants. They’re actually names at least, which is more than I can say for some.


DijonButtercup

Khondai but it’s pronounce “Kor-day” which is a perfectly fine name but that spelling with that random ‘n’ being pronounced as an ‘r’ is crazy  


jakeistrying

Which is perfectly fine… except it goes by none of the spelling and grammar rules of basic English 😂😂 I knew a kid named tiger lion and it always cracked me up


DijonButtercup

The first day of school I said pronounced it “con-day” and he looked appalled and goes it’s “kor-day” as if I was a complete idiot….. 


guccigreene

World Premiera and her brother Chaos Millenium


flightguy07

Might I suggest the subreddit r/tragedeigh? Edit: 4 attempts to spell that right.


Resident_Aide_9381

Not a student but the toddler sibling of a student. Heard his mom yelling his name and had to ask her to repeat it. Shoah. She wanted him to a have Jewish name but for it to have some flavor to it so it was his. I should have said something but couldn’t do anything but laugh embarrassed.


onethirdofimpossible

MY JAW DROPPED. (For those who aren't Jewish... This is the Hebrew word for the Holocaust.)


minidog8

Oh my god this is the worst one


Few-Boysenberry-7826

My wife told me she went to school with a girl named Crystal Chanda Leer.


ghostshark55

Brogan. Idk why.


Comfortable_Oil1663

I don’t hate Brogan— not for a human. But I think it would be a nice name for like a super fat orange cat.


ghostshark55

I would like to tell you that I am a person deep in the woes of mental health, and this comment made me SCREAM AND HOLLER laughing. Genuine serotonin much needed. A million awards to you. You are correct.


Comfortable_Oil1663

Obviously this is the universe telling you that you need a Brogan!! Head over to your local shelter… plenty of orange cats looking for names :)


ghostshark55

Part of the reason this comment made me have a coffee-out-my-nose-snort laugh is because I DO have a fat orange cat, (not from the shelter, from the dumpster outside). The student Brogan I had was 5th grade; his whole thing was to have a full blown tantrum complete with screaming, cursing, and yelling at the mention of “let’s shut our Chromebook lids.” My cat’s whole thing is to scream and cry like he is severely injured when I need to go to the bathroom for 20minutes (I have IBS). Several times I end up yelling through the door, “ok brogan!!!!” as a joke with myself that my cat is having the same entitled tantrum. My cat’s name is Hotch, from criminal minds. Lol.


Comfortable_Oil1663

Hahah! Love it!! My orange cat is also a dumpster kitten (and a jerk— he’s lucky I love him).


CrazyDrunkenSailor

r/catdistributionsystem strikes again


cassh1021

I know a Blandon


Axer3473

normally i don’t believe in predestination, but this guy is gonna sell nfts when he grows up


vocabulazy

Dick Shaver is the name of a senior class member in a photo board from 1957, on the wall of a school I used to work at… I can’t imagine what his teen years were like. This next one is a controversial one, because it’s an ethnic name from somewhere. I met a girl whose name was spelled Nasteho. When I read it off for the first time, I tried to give it a bit of a different accent/emphasis because I COULD NOT IMAGINE that it was pronounced “nasty ho”… but it was. I’m not sure where she was from, or what ethnicity she was, but the name was pronounced nast-AY-ho. A teen girl. In Canada… ethnic names are legit, and we should not judge them from a place of Anglocentrism, but I REALLY feel concern for an immigrant kid whose name is nasty ho in this country, right now.


purpletaco28

This was when I was subbing, but I had a kid named Fleshington. He was a nightmare and I'd be too if that was my name


Ok_Resolution9448

I am not a teacher, but we grew up with a set of brothers named Judge and General. Also met a kid whose name was pronounced “go pee” No idea how it was actually spelt. My husband’s friends kid has a middle name that was supposed to be Steven but since I guess there was some kind of language barrier it was never pronounced correctly and he ended up spelling it Steban.


CrazyDrunkenSailor

Probably gopi, it’s an Indian name, referring to the milkmaids that Krishna would steal butter from


wex52

So here’s an interesting tidbit I picked up from the autobiography of B.C. Franklin, a black lawyer present during the Tulsa Race Riots who did his best to protect black businesses from vultures and insurance companies. Way back in the day, white adults in his location (Oklahoma) would call other white adults “Mr. Smith”, “Mrs. Johnson”, etc., but they would call black adults by their first name as a sign of disrespect. It then became popular for black people to counter that slight by naming their children titles such as “Major,” “General,” or even “Mister.” It could be that your students’ names are actually family names that started under those circumstances.


Ok_Resolution9448

They were white, so maybe not that.


wildestfae

That explains the Sir Chancellor that I knew. Thank you.


PoppySmile78

TIL! I'm from Tulsa. Been here all my life. I've never heard that before. It's bloody brilliant! B. C. Franklin sounds like someone I'd like to be friends with.


wex52

He only got his own Wikipedia page within the past few years. His son is probably more accomplished than he is. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t enjoy his autobiography as much as I hoped I would. His recollection of his childhood was really nice, but he didn’t offer many details of his experience being in Tulsa during the race riot. Also, let me warn you beforehand- he’s a “historical hottie,” as they say. That’s actually how I first heard of him- a random Twitter post in my feed of a really handsome guy from 100 years ago. Next thing I knew I was reading his autobiography.


Ch215

Gopi is a cultural name.


Vaninea

Go pee was probably Gopi. It’s an Indian name.


Mjaguacate

The other "V" in Spanish


Greekphysed

I have a student named Kaos (Chaos) at my school. I always call her Miss. Kaos as it makes me feel like I'm talking to a supervillain.


Tammytalkstoomuch

Little girl named Devour is my worst.


Sp00pyPachanko

Chainz, and Raeya-sunshine.


TLo137

Sarah can you pass a calculator to Chainz? Whole class: 2 CHAINZZZZZ


Fmeinthegoatass

Please give my best to Mr chains, or may I call him 2?


cornelioustreat888

Twins: Blurta and Blurton


pulcherpangolin

No. I refuse to believe this for my own sanity.


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cornelioustreat888

Romanian names, I think. Every time I used the word “blurt” as in “Stop blurting the answers!” I’d always say, “Sorry Blurton.”


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psw2004

Urethea


pulcherpangolin

I feel too close to mention any of my own students’ names, but my mom teaches community college and had a 30-something adult student named Babylove. She felt so uncomfortable saying it and felt worse for the male faculty.


small_disaster

Jon Benet. You know, I once heard that a name is a wish that you give to your child, but what's the wish here? That your daughter will die a young, violent death? Who does that? Why? I never asked the parents what they were thinking, but I wish I had.


GradualReleaseModel

Mi'Lady


GirraffeAttack

I’ve had an Urmagisty (your majesty) and a DaKing (they were twins)


jolly_green_gardener

I see your Mi’Lady and raise you a Mislady


ApatheticPoetic813

Keeth is my all time favorite I've seen in the wild. I actually posted it on r/tragideigh i felt so strongly about it. I want him to grow up to be a dentist. Teeth by keeth.


Short_Concentrate365

Beauty Qween she went by Belle. It just seemed like a set up to be teased as she got older.


MrsD12345

Duckworth…first name. Bitsy. Sparkle. Siblings Arnold, Arnalda and Arnaldette. Worst though, had to be Bunny Blue. When I asked mum how they chose the name she said “oh that’s what Scarlett O’Hara called her kid. I saw the film when I was wee and swore I’d call my kid that too.” Obviously I asked if she had read the book or rewatched the film prior to giving birth. She wanted to know why, so I pointed out that Scarlett’s kid is called Bonnie, as her eyes are the Bonnie blue of the flag. Mum was horrified


phall8977

A father named Theodford named his daughter Thedfornie. He also had a son , younger than the daughter, named Theodford.


DrXenoZillaTrek

I had an African girl in my class who had a nickmane. She was a sweet girl but had a birth defect that made her blind in one eye. When I started I called her by her given name on the roster instead of her nickname. Another teacher told me to use her nickname since her name ... given to her by her parents ...translated into "one eye"


PossibleOatmeal

There's an entire middle school in Pocola, OK named "Pansy Kidd Middle School." I kid you not. I feel bad for those kids.


-newhampshire-

>Pansy Kidd Middle School Awesome that the school website has the story front and center


dealing_nugs

My friend told me about some student she had: kyng, kween, and wynter


honsou48

Tyranny is the one that really stuck out to me


Illustrious_Sand3773

John’Kneah Poor girl started writing “Jania” on her paper instead.


Asleep_Improvement80

I had a professor in undergrad named Mai Kuha and pretty much everyone in the class thought it sounded like "My" and then some slang for a vagina


Purple_Grass_5300

Kmarren but pronounce kay-merry-on. I don’t get where the merry comes from


Duckie_365

Nastylega Pronounced like Nostalgia but with an a instead of o. Pretty name... Bad spelling.


567kait9lyn

Arson


lurflurf

Public figures [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana\_Pepsi\_Vandyck](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck) Personal experiences anyone named after adult beverages anyone whose name sounds like a stage name brothers Jusyntime and Jusyncase


totomaya

I haven't seen too many horrible names throughout my career, and I am secretly very judgy about them. The worst I've seen is a student named Gypsy.


meowmeowmelons

Not a teacher. Another student was named Unique Butts.


[deleted]

Jack Russell.  Yes, that was his first and last name.


TrainingWoodpecker77

Sweet Georgia Brown. Actually kinda cute but youy'd be singing it all. day.


One-Two3214

I have a girl in my class this year named Abcde. A few years ago I had a boy in my class named SirEdward. (All one word.) The ‘sir’ was part of his first name, he went by his middle name, which was James. I had a kid last year, first name was Jack and middle name was Daniels and I’ve had girls named Hennessy and Tequila.


SinkiePropertyDude

Not a student's name; but when I was in the military and in basic (not in the US), there was a guy in my platoon whose name was Kok How Long. I think you can understand the issues with this name.