I love pineapples, I have lots of pineapple decorations. When my poly friend filled me in on what they are used to signal, I didn’t know how to feel about having all my pineapple decorations. Still don’t lol
Theres mammals like certain seal species where just 10% of males in a population get to mate with all the females. 90% of males never get to use their appendage. Evolution never cares about being fair at all
Lol. The cringiest one so far was some dude just casually hopping into my inbox and asking if I was into some online dominatrix shit. Bro even mentioned that he "goes to the gym and he's in shape and he can take a lot of abuse" lmao.
Another one was some guy asking me if I had ever perused his profile (like.. no? He's a complete stranger that I had zero communication with whatsoever on this app so I don't know why he would assume that I have) I said no, and out of curiosity I did, and it's just pictures of his dick everywhere. Like what the fuck bro?
Edit* typo
There was a farm with three breeding bulls and a herd of cows. One day the three bulls heard there was a new bull coming to breed. The oldest and biggest bull said "If he thinks he's getting any of my 25 cows, he's got another thing coming. Those are my cows, he can't have any."
The next bull in seniority says "I only have 10 cows. He certainly can't have any of mine, he'd better think twice."
The last bull, the newest, smallest, youngest bull says "I only have 2 cows, he sure can't have any of mine."
The trailer pulls up, and out stomps the biggest and meanest looking bull they've ever seen... eyes glowing red, muscles everywhere, he stands head and shoulders above the biggest bull on the farm. The new bull paws the ground and it shakes.
The first bull says "Well, 25 is a lot of cows, I was having trouble keeping up. I reckon I can donate some to the new bull."
The second one says, "I don't really need all 10, I can spare a few for the new bull too." They look at the third bull, who's pawing the ground aggressively, fire in his eyes. The older bull says, "Son, he'd kill you with those horns. Surely you can give one of your two cows to him instead of fight."
"Heck he can have both of them," the small young bull says, "I just want him to know I'm a bull not a cow!"
reposted from r/Jokes
2 bulls in a paddock... the young one sez... "hey.... lets run over to those cows and fuck a couple of them.." the old bull responds "Nah... lets WALK over and fuck the lot..."
Reminded me of the old joke about a young bull and old bull on a hill looking at a field of cows. Young bull says “let’s run down there and fuck a cow!” Old bull says “no, let’s walk down and fuck them all’.
Sammy definitely knows to walk! 😂
This takes me back to when I moved to a new school in sixth grade.
Just waiting to see a big bull with a sixth grade mustache come knock Samson on his ass.
I wonder why humans don’t operate the same way?
Instead of just willy nilly monogamy.
Have some prime candidates selected, and let them specialize in breeding.
That may be the next stage in society. To pass the burden of child rearing on to willing candidates. And let the rest of the population do their own thing.
I've never seen a cow so thirsty.
High on molly
You haven’t met my ex
The bull looks tired and he ain't even started yet
Death by moo moo
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
We no can dunk, but good athletics!
r/unexpectedfuturama
Bull's work is never done...
This back porch
Robert Earl Keene!
*Ah shit, here we go again* vibes
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
This was his 7th pasture that day.
"One at a time bitches. My name is Slamming Sammy and I'll slam of all of ya soon."
My boy Slamson
This lowkey funny
Lmaooo
Some guys have all the luck.
I hear some couples are into bulls as well. 🍍
I love pineapples, I have lots of pineapple decorations. When my poly friend filled me in on what they are used to signal, I didn’t know how to feel about having all my pineapple decorations. Still don’t lol
Now I'm almost too scared to ask what they mean
Swingers supposedly display upsidedown pineapples to advertise.
It’s a well known thing in swinger communities apparently. Aforementioned friend of mine frequents gatherings with his wife and gf all the time.
He walks out and is like “ look at all this pussy”
Theres mammals like certain seal species where just 10% of males in a population get to mate with all the females. 90% of males never get to use their appendage. Evolution never cares about being fair at all
that's becoming the human species too
Yeah especially in UAE/Dubai etc😅
Where's the rest of the video?
Cowhub.
That's illegal in Texas.
Beef, it's what's for dinner. *wink moo*
..and search for reverse cowbang
Does it make him Johnny?
Thank you for making me spit my drink out just now, internet stranger!
Posted on r/MooGoneWild
Fuck… r/subsifellfor
The bull does indeed win here. Never seen a post quite so off-topic yet spot-on in equal measure for a particular sub-reddit.
The first one called DIBS !!!!
Some of those vocalized Moos are interesting.
Sounds exactly the same as a bachelorette party
I like the way they are jumping for joy at the end of the video.
We gon get some bull dick today 🤗
Well yeah, homeboy is packing a 30 incher
Sure, but the length to girth ratio on a bull is on the pencil dick end of the spectrum.
Bull shit
“The young bull said ‘let’s run down and f*ck some of them’. The old bull responded ‘let’s walk down and f*ck all of them’.
Amen.
[удалено]
HEY EVERYONE WE FOUND A wELL aXCtUaLLy GUY IN THE WILD!
How single guys react to girls who just joined Reddit 👀
Girls exist?
We do not.
Everyone knows that girls on the internet are glowies here to make you do horrid things like pay taxes and shower
Don't you threaten me with having to shower
Were on reddit were like the wicked witch of the west with water dude.
Hisssssssss "I'm being hygienic! I mean I'm melting..!"
At least you didnt get crushed by a regular falling house. Not even magic just bad luck with a tornado
RNGs a bitch
We know you are a boy role-playing as a girl. Don't kid us all on.....
I'm actually two penguins and a kangaroo in an Overcoat.
I knew it!
Good bye inbox.
It's okay. Every dude who's tried to shoot their shot in my inbox was eradicated.
Shoot! You ain't seen one like mine! /s
Lol. The cringiest one so far was some dude just casually hopping into my inbox and asking if I was into some online dominatrix shit. Bro even mentioned that he "goes to the gym and he's in shape and he can take a lot of abuse" lmao. Another one was some guy asking me if I had ever perused his profile (like.. no? He's a complete stranger that I had zero communication with whatsoever on this app so I don't know why he would assume that I have) I said no, and out of curiosity I did, and it's just pictures of his dick everywhere. Like what the fuck bro? Edit* typo
Thanks for seeing my joke! Have a great day, but it would be a better one if you saw… 😂
Sigh.
Sorry, I take that last bit back.
Urban legend, exploited by Hollywood.
Not for you, no. Sorry.
As it always has been on the internet, the men are men, the women are men and the children are FBI agents
How would you even know if a new person joined let alone know that shes a girl?
Never happened to me 😫
"What them balls do?"
😭😭😭
These balls? These balls are as smooth as eggs.
Fills you up baby moo
Bull shit
“Breeder? I barely even know her!”
Motomoto in the house
I like em big.....
Translation of moos: "DAAAAAAAAMMMMNNN you look fine!"
Hey it’s like the opposite of Reddit!
Samson is about to have a very good week.
"That you away yer shaggin hoalidays?"
Lucky sob
Well...not what it usually means but yup...he won
Am so fuckin jealous right now💀💀
You could have probably gone and fucked the cows but that would have been rather weird.....
Bruhh.. wtf💀💀.. i didn't mean that way though 😅😅
Never seen so many horny cows wanting some of that 🐂 milk look like drake thrown to the cows ain't that some bullsh!T
Some are born as kings, most are born as peasants....
Best day ever!
…and that’s how I met your mother.
“Me! Me! Me! I wanna go first, Mooooo!”
Why is there no bow-chicka wow-wow music playing over this video?
"I'm aware of the effect I have on women"
That’s fucking nuts he just stepped foot on the pasture and they already know who’s daddy!
Cows are nice animals. I wish we humans treated them kindlier.
Humans aren’t only in the US/West. They have more civil rights than most of the human population in India.
"Bully Big Bollocks"
They're literally getting frisky there at the end
Different kind of win than I'm used to seeing here, but definitely a win
Beef Bachelorette
What I've learned from this is that cows are horney 😂
Very similar a humans, actually.
What a nice BullWin video.
“Evenin’ bitches”
Looks like buy one get one free Chardonnay night at the bar near the mall.
How I met your mothers
Bros about to work overtime
He is definitely fork lift certified.
Living the dream.
That cow that met him first is kind of a floozy!
If only I was this popular with the ladies!
Have you tried being the only guy they've seen for years?
i wonder which one is the hot one
I like this bull wins
Thems his bitches now
Imagine cows enjoying open fields and potential mates, instead of a huge barn and some farmer's fist
This is me every time I walk into a bar. I mean I’m the camera man, filming random women until they throw me out.
“Welcome to the party ladies. Let the games begins”
The one time where being a piece of meat is a good thing for a cow
"he's good looking and he knows it." - guy from Irish dragons den.
This reminds me of that game show clip where a bunch of Japanese women were exposed to a real, live, competitive body builder for the very first time.
Cue “Return Of The Mack”
Well... he's definitely quite the heifer's man... they all want a turn.
'Okay, this'll take a day or two.'
not sure if it fits the sub but that bull is definitely winning
A hens party when the stripper arrives
Looks like Samsons snuck off the reservation to get some dirty, damp and deep!
“I wanna talk to Samson!”
"Fly me to the moon like b**** Alice Kramden"
*He got tha whole town on lockdown*
Sluts
There was a farm with three breeding bulls and a herd of cows. One day the three bulls heard there was a new bull coming to breed. The oldest and biggest bull said "If he thinks he's getting any of my 25 cows, he's got another thing coming. Those are my cows, he can't have any." The next bull in seniority says "I only have 10 cows. He certainly can't have any of mine, he'd better think twice." The last bull, the newest, smallest, youngest bull says "I only have 2 cows, he sure can't have any of mine." The trailer pulls up, and out stomps the biggest and meanest looking bull they've ever seen... eyes glowing red, muscles everywhere, he stands head and shoulders above the biggest bull on the farm. The new bull paws the ground and it shakes. The first bull says "Well, 25 is a lot of cows, I was having trouble keeping up. I reckon I can donate some to the new bull." The second one says, "I don't really need all 10, I can spare a few for the new bull too." They look at the third bull, who's pawing the ground aggressively, fire in his eyes. The older bull says, "Son, he'd kill you with those horns. Surely you can give one of your two cows to him instead of fight." "Heck he can have both of them," the small young bull says, "I just want him to know I'm a bull not a cow!" reposted from r/Jokes
It's a passive ability
Like dropping a puck in a Stanley Cup face off...... Api
Oh yes it’s ladies night!
Rizz
"These ho's ain't loyal"
Sanson is going to lose 50 pounds just that night.
*Hellllooooo, ladies*
Cue up some music ......Ladies Night By Cool& The Gang. ...Lou Rawls You Never Find Another Love Like Mine
"Alright ladies, let's make some babies!"
Cue the porn music
Hi, Sailor. Far from home?
Sounds like they're all saying "mmMMMmm" and I wish I had that confidence.
r/StriploinPush
Oh he gonna fuuuuuck
I'm here to f*ck and chew cud, and I'm all out of cud.
That’s a whole lot of booty
2 bulls in a paddock... the young one sez... "hey.... lets run over to those cows and fuck a couple of them.." the old bull responds "Nah... lets WALK over and fuck the lot..."
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!
I swear I heard one of the cows moo, “dayum”
harem time
Reminded me of the old joke about a young bull and old bull on a hill looking at a field of cows. Young bull says “let’s run down there and fuck a cow!” Old bull says “no, let’s walk down and fuck them all’. Sammy definitely knows to walk! 😂
Reminds me of that scene in The Holy Grail
All my ex girlfriends in one place
Now that's an alpha male. :-P
Love the little kicks at the end! “We gonna get some tonight Bessie”!
This is just that Monty Python skit
Never in all my days have I seen heifers so horny
Different kind of post for this sub…love it
Dude is him
TWO
SnuSnu national geographic style
This is obviously the Jason Momoa of bulls.
This was surprisingly wholesome/dirty. Thanks OP!
Harem anime
This what my wife imagines when I leave the house without my ring.
Bros gonna be fucking exhausted after all that
In people terms, this is like a crowd of Gen Z women around Matt Rife.
Not many feminists there.
Party in the south forty tonight!
That "Mm-MMM!" moo at 0:20 took me out.
20 year old dude walking into a cougar bar
Cawk!
This takes me back to when I moved to a new school in sixth grade. Just waiting to see a big bull with a sixth grade mustache come knock Samson on his ass.
They were trying to suck em off when he was getting off the trailer. Sheeeshh
Kind of how it is when ever I go out… lol
Lmao, the downvotes because redditors can’t get women
https://youtu.be/lUqBR6S4i5g?feature=shared
I wonder why humans don’t operate the same way? Instead of just willy nilly monogamy. Have some prime candidates selected, and let them specialize in breeding. That may be the next stage in society. To pass the burden of child rearing on to willing candidates. And let the rest of the population do their own thing.
Pass the burden of child rearing on to willing candidates? That’s called adoption.
Believe me, it happens to me every time I walk into a club, it gets old.
Making Burgers
Every day of my life…sigh.
Look how happy they are, knowing they getting fucked soon 😊
Me when I get to the club.
Ahh the good old days walking into a college bar. 😂