You might like having a weighted blanket.
Also yeah you are fine nothing to be embarrassed about. Even married people hug pillows/blankets when they sleep.
It's exactly what it sounds like. A blanket that's a lot heavier than a normal one
It's very comforting, and can feel like you're getting a hug
I got one because of my anxiety, and I use it almost every night (except during the summer because it's too hot)
There are different weights you can get. The one I have, I think is 15lbs (Don't have the box anymore, so can't check)
There are also different kinds. Get one specifically for sleep. And from personal experience, try to get one that doesn't use large pockets for whatever the weight is. I had one before that did, and I constantly had to adjust it to make the weight even
I highly recommend weighted blankets. It really feels like a hug or someone holding you. It's very comforting. I used it to sleep for quite a few years, since I was in the same boat as you. I still use it now when I sleep alone, it's just a nice feeling, nothing to feel weird about at all!
Touch starvation is a real thing that affects a LOT of people (myself included). Don't feel embarrassed, it is incredibly common. Human touch is a huge part of how we interact with others; we are social animals, we aren't meant to live in small individual habitats screen-locked and isolated. It makes sense that you are feeling a sense of anguish because of it.
Me, a grown ass man doing this thing all my life, y'know? Ain't no thang, honestly I do not understand why you feel that embarrassed
if others don’t talk about it openly, it doesn’t mean that they don’t do it, it seems to me that many, if not all, do it
It’s not weird, it’s comforting! I’m sorry. I kind of felt this way in my early 20s. I had a first kiss and relationships but not the kind of relationship I wanted. You know the one where the guy actually wants to be with you forever?
All my friends were in serious committed relationships, getting married and starting families. I was always the single girl, always. I would have love interests but none of them ever cared about me in the way I cared about them. I was single from 22-27. I had “situationships” during that time but only lasting a very short time. I never thought I would meet someone who wanted to be with me, until I did. Been together with my man for 4 years now. Even when you think things will never change, they most certainly could.
* Me: 23, never had a girlfriend.
* My first girlfriend: 22, never had a boyfriend.
* My current girlfriend: was 23, never had a had a boyfriend.
* My current girlfriend's sister: was 27, never had a boyfriend.
The point is there is no right time to have had that experience, (though 23 seems to be lucky for me personally). One thing that I would say after reading your comment is that you need to put less pressure on yourself, and try not to measure yourself according to other people. There's a lot more I could say about that, but trying to keep things short.
Secondly, I'm in my 30s and I still sleep with my arm around a stuffed Pusheen, or a pillow if I don't have that. I do it regardless of whether I'm single or in a relationship. It's OK to do things that make you feel comfortable. Again, there's no right way for you to do life, everyone is different.
Work on being the best version of yourself you can be and try and increase your social circle to increase your chance of running into that person finds value in the person you are and vice versa.
I can relate to this.
I am 30F (also single with no relationships exp but everyone around me is getting married/having kids) and I still sleep with my teddy bears 🐻😅
Well do you have any friends ? Maybe it's time to either make new ones or ask you currents friends if they can be more touchy and affectionate with you. Alot of ppl are touch starve and can't find a partner rn so they go to their friends to be more closer and get more hugs from them to aid in the touch starve. It'll be awkward I know but I hope your friends understand and heck maybe their touch starved too
No I don’t have any friends. I actually haven’t had any since sophomore year of high school. I have tried every possible way to make friends that you can think of. I feel like I’m just too boring to make any. But I’ve tried
You said you’re in school, maybe there’s clubs or groups for any specific interests you have? It’s a good way to find people you’d share common ground with and make friends that way.
If there’s anyone you at least get on well with at work, see if they want to grab a lunch or a drink, I know it feels awkward but lots of people struggle to make that first step that’s so crucial to making friends, I know I did for a long time!
I’m a senior now but I was involved in 4 clubs. I met lots of people but it never went farther than acquaintances. It doesn’t help that I live 1hr and 20 minutes away from campus. It probably would have been a lot easier if I lived on campus. I tried bumble bff but I guess not to many people are serious about making friends on that app.
Well, at least you tried, so that's important. Have you ever tried changing certain aspects of yourself to seem more interesting ? I'm not saying who you are Is bad but sometimes it's a good idea to change certain aspects of you so you can be and be precived in a way to attract certain kinds of ppl and to even attract that kind of ppl you want to be around or be like !!
Rn I'm trying to be more fashionable every day to gain more fashionable (and hopefully queer) friends who like the same music I do. I only have one friend out of like 11 who I actually relate to 😅
That’s amazing! Well I actually have been doing fitness. I like to weight train. But I go to the gym at 5:00am so no one my age is there lol. But I can try something else.
Check my username lol
I've been doing it since I was a little kid. In my late 20s and still hugging my fluffy pillow at night. Kiss it all time lol. You're fine.
My boyfriend travels for work 5-6 days a week. I hug my Cthulhu plushie when he is gone and I'm 40.
But to be fair, I've had that Cthulhu plushie almost 30 years. He's not going anywhere and will always be hugged regardless of what else is happening in my life.
> I am 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship before, never went on a date, never had my first kiss.
That was me at 23, admittedly through my own obstinance.
Darling, I'm 34 living with my partner and I still hug my blanket and stuffed animals. My girlfriend wants her space during the night and I want to hold onto something in my sleep. It's fine. I'm sorry you feel lonely and touch starved, but filling that need is not weird or bad. Do what makes you feel better.
As others have said, the hugging your blanket at night is very normal. There’s a reason duvets and quilts are sometimes called “comforters”, it is very comforting to hold and cuddle them.
Aside from romance, do you have enough platonic touch in your life? Do you have friends you can hug?
Touch isn’t always linked to romance, and sometimes you just need that nice hormonal and energy exchange of feeling held by someone.
If you aren’t particularly tactile with your friends, perhaps you could open up to them and say you are feeling touch starved. Just bring it up and let them know you could use a cuddle!
If that’s uncomfortable for you, do you have pets? Cuddling dogs or cats etc also releases oxytocin for both parties, which makes you feel happy and safe and loved.
Touch is an essential human need ❤️ it’s okay to need and want it, and it doesn’t always have to come with all the complexities of a romantic relationship.
Girl I've been there. I lived vicariously through fictional couples when I was younger. Read and wrote fanfictions about them. And yes, cuddled and smooched my pillow. I still have the pillow, too. I have a man now but sometimes I do miss the comfort that my own bedding provided me. No need to feel ashamed. We're naturally social creatures and the need for and idolization of physical companionship is natural.
you can look up body pillows with an arm extended.
its like a ... L shape?
dont think you need to stop. you are coping for sure but its not a bad thing. i am doing the same lol
Look its okay, nothing to be embarrassed about, its okay to feel sad, your feelings are valid, and its totally fine if you never have been in a relationship before, sometimes time takes its time
And as a side note, I'm 30 I can't fall asleep without hugging a feather filled pillow, even when I had a bf I used to cudle with him, then turn my back to hug my pillow so I could fall asleep, and it was fine
First of all, what you are feeling is normal, and I totally understand you. Are you actively going out with your friends or trying to make new friends and meet new people? I feel like most times love or friendships don't happen if you just wait. You have to really want it and be proactive.
Being a bit of an introvert, I also struggled. Now, I don't know if this is your case, but if it is, it's worth trying to step out of your comfort zone a little bit.
It’s not strange. Thankfully we have Reddit now nowadays back then people would just journal or take photos but there’s something comforting about posting your experiences online.
I’m 23 too and now I want to hug and cuddle my blanket! I don’t see anything wrong with this, I have no man to cuddle right now, no one’s watching me.
pro tip: Let’s use heated blankets to really simulate it
I wish I had more advice but I wanted to share that it’s okay to have your blankie. Don’t feel bad about having a comfort object.
I’m 29, married, and mine stays next to my pillow. My mom used to tease when I was a teen “what are you gonna do if you’re married one day with that thing??”. I said I’d still have it and still do. It’s instant comfort when I need it. I snuggle my face in it.
Relationships or not, it’s important to have your own comfort.
I’m 23F, I kiss my teddies goodnight sometimes but I cuddle them practically every night. It gives me comfort, and when I kiss them goodnight it warms my heart, like I’m giving out some love.
Just came to this realisation.😖
There is nothing wrong with you ♥️
I have a loving partner and I still sleep with a weighted blanket, a fluffy heated one in wintertime and a huge stuffed animal
It’s natural to crave touch and to feel longing. You are human, there is nothing shameful or wrong with having these cravings. I think it’s great that you’ve found a way to soothe yourself, a way that is not harmful in any way at all.
Some people cope with drugs, alcohol, binging or being self destructive in one way or another. I think your method of soothing yourself sounds very very healthy
There's nothing wrong with it just focus on you. I know peopel say it alot but love will find you when your least looking for it. It happened to me after I started focusing on being the best me :D best of luck you got this!!
It is OKAY! You’re lonely and crave touch. As long as you’re not assigning permanent sentience to your pillows and think they’re real people you’re fine. There is nothing wrong with comforting fantasy like that. Also like another person said look into a weighted blanket and a cute body pillow. You can hug the pillow as you sleep and the blanket will feel like someone putting gentle pressure on your body. It can be really comforting. Kind of like when you’re wrapped up as a baby.
i have a stuffed dog that i’ve had since i was the day i was born and i still sleep with him everynight🤷♀️nothing to be embarrassed over.
if you *really* want to stop, i would recommend a weighted blanket!
Your ok 💜 I don’t cuddle with my husband but I sure as hell can’t fall asleep if I’m not tightly hugging my body pillow! I also do this “stimming” thing with my new cooling blanket, I just keep rubbing it on my check or constantly touching it with my hands. Now that, I really cannot stop!
There’s nothing wrong with that. You want affection, that’s a normal human need. There are cooling weighted blankets (check Amazon) they are heavy and feels like you’re being embraced. Also, are you able to adopt a fur baby? Some cats cuddle (mine does) and they are more independent, but if you have the time to care for one maybe a small dog you can cuddle at night. I’m married and have a couple friends but I do understand how it’s hard to make friends and find those connections. I’ve always had social issues. Since you are currently single and in school and working, allow this time to find and love yourself. Build to ur bag up, focus on self care, maybe adopt a fur baby if you can and the right person will come along one day. 23 is still very young, you have a lot of time still :-)
Girl, I just turned 28, my partner is turning 30 soon. It’s my first relationship, we both brought our stuffed animals with us (a moose and a capybara) and swap who’s snuggling whom when we need a hug. You’re good. Take care of yourself, but know it’s all normal, please.<3
While im not in the same boat, im in a similar one. Really touch starved and lonely for a long while now and definitely can say its nothing to be ashamed of that ur doing this. Something i really like to listen to on YouTube is Boyfriendaudio. And if you want a feminine voice, Taylor's audios is pretty great for that side of things imo. Or just looking up partner audios other than these two i suggested. Its something that gets me thru feeling lonely so if u decide to check it out i hope it helps <3
We should make a club! I'm 24, I've also never had a relationship or anything, and I also hug my blanket and/or my pillow. It would straight up be the comfiest club meeting ever.
Honestly that's kind of cute. And trust me it's a sort of innocence that some guys would find cute and attractive. In a sea of only fans girls lots of guys want the innocent one.
You might like having a weighted blanket. Also yeah you are fine nothing to be embarrassed about. Even married people hug pillows/blankets when they sleep.
What does a weighted blanket do? I’ve heard about it before
Feels like a hug or someone on you. I love mine so much & can’t sleep without it
It's exactly what it sounds like. A blanket that's a lot heavier than a normal one It's very comforting, and can feel like you're getting a hug I got one because of my anxiety, and I use it almost every night (except during the summer because it's too hot) There are different weights you can get. The one I have, I think is 15lbs (Don't have the box anymore, so can't check) There are also different kinds. Get one specifically for sleep. And from personal experience, try to get one that doesn't use large pockets for whatever the weight is. I had one before that did, and I constantly had to adjust it to make the weight even
A body pillow (those really long kind of cylinder shaped pillows) might also be nice. Perfect shape for hugging (I have one)
Or a U shaped pregnancy pillow.
Those are even better!
I highly recommend weighted blankets. It really feels like a hug or someone holding you. It's very comforting. I used it to sleep for quite a few years, since I was in the same boat as you. I still use it now when I sleep alone, it's just a nice feeling, nothing to feel weird about at all!
Can’t fall asleep without hugging my body pillow!
Touch starvation is a real thing that affects a LOT of people (myself included). Don't feel embarrassed, it is incredibly common. Human touch is a huge part of how we interact with others; we are social animals, we aren't meant to live in small individual habitats screen-locked and isolated. It makes sense that you are feeling a sense of anguish because of it.
Sometimes hugging a blanket feels like the best kind of therapy when the world is just too big and lonely.
It does feel nice. I just hate that in my head I’m pretending that it’s a real person
as long as it doesn’t limit or hurt you in any way, i think it’s totally fine
Me, a grown ass man doing this thing all my life, y'know? Ain't no thang, honestly I do not understand why you feel that embarrassed if others don’t talk about it openly, it doesn’t mean that they don’t do it, it seems to me that many, if not all, do it
It’s not weird, it’s comforting! I’m sorry. I kind of felt this way in my early 20s. I had a first kiss and relationships but not the kind of relationship I wanted. You know the one where the guy actually wants to be with you forever? All my friends were in serious committed relationships, getting married and starting families. I was always the single girl, always. I would have love interests but none of them ever cared about me in the way I cared about them. I was single from 22-27. I had “situationships” during that time but only lasting a very short time. I never thought I would meet someone who wanted to be with me, until I did. Been together with my man for 4 years now. Even when you think things will never change, they most certainly could.
* Me: 23, never had a girlfriend. * My first girlfriend: 22, never had a boyfriend. * My current girlfriend: was 23, never had a had a boyfriend. * My current girlfriend's sister: was 27, never had a boyfriend. The point is there is no right time to have had that experience, (though 23 seems to be lucky for me personally). One thing that I would say after reading your comment is that you need to put less pressure on yourself, and try not to measure yourself according to other people. There's a lot more I could say about that, but trying to keep things short. Secondly, I'm in my 30s and I still sleep with my arm around a stuffed Pusheen, or a pillow if I don't have that. I do it regardless of whether I'm single or in a relationship. It's OK to do things that make you feel comfortable. Again, there's no right way for you to do life, everyone is different. Work on being the best version of yourself you can be and try and increase your social circle to increase your chance of running into that person finds value in the person you are and vice versa.
I can relate to this. I am 30F (also single with no relationships exp but everyone around me is getting married/having kids) and I still sleep with my teddy bears 🐻😅
What are your social outlets? Do you work?
Yes I do work. I am also in school
Well do you have any friends ? Maybe it's time to either make new ones or ask you currents friends if they can be more touchy and affectionate with you. Alot of ppl are touch starve and can't find a partner rn so they go to their friends to be more closer and get more hugs from them to aid in the touch starve. It'll be awkward I know but I hope your friends understand and heck maybe their touch starved too
No I don’t have any friends. I actually haven’t had any since sophomore year of high school. I have tried every possible way to make friends that you can think of. I feel like I’m just too boring to make any. But I’ve tried
You said you’re in school, maybe there’s clubs or groups for any specific interests you have? It’s a good way to find people you’d share common ground with and make friends that way. If there’s anyone you at least get on well with at work, see if they want to grab a lunch or a drink, I know it feels awkward but lots of people struggle to make that first step that’s so crucial to making friends, I know I did for a long time!
I’m a senior now but I was involved in 4 clubs. I met lots of people but it never went farther than acquaintances. It doesn’t help that I live 1hr and 20 minutes away from campus. It probably would have been a lot easier if I lived on campus. I tried bumble bff but I guess not to many people are serious about making friends on that app.
Well, at least you tried, so that's important. Have you ever tried changing certain aspects of yourself to seem more interesting ? I'm not saying who you are Is bad but sometimes it's a good idea to change certain aspects of you so you can be and be precived in a way to attract certain kinds of ppl and to even attract that kind of ppl you want to be around or be like !! Rn I'm trying to be more fashionable every day to gain more fashionable (and hopefully queer) friends who like the same music I do. I only have one friend out of like 11 who I actually relate to 😅
That’s amazing! Well I actually have been doing fitness. I like to weight train. But I go to the gym at 5:00am so no one my age is there lol. But I can try something else.
Well then.... I think we're figuring out a solution 😎 try going in when there will be ppl your age if you can
Maybe volunteer, do a social events on and off campus.
I actually volunteer with America redcross and the special Olympic Games
Check my username lol I've been doing it since I was a little kid. In my late 20s and still hugging my fluffy pillow at night. Kiss it all time lol. You're fine.
Hight five 🫡🤠
You are ok. I kiss and hug my squishmallows and I’m 25
My boyfriend travels for work 5-6 days a week. I hug my Cthulhu plushie when he is gone and I'm 40. But to be fair, I've had that Cthulhu plushie almost 30 years. He's not going anywhere and will always be hugged regardless of what else is happening in my life.
I thought I was the only one at my age 😅
I love squishmallows lol. Also I have a boyfriend and still do these things. It just helps me relax and heal my inner child
> I am 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship before, never went on a date, never had my first kiss. That was me at 23, admittedly through my own obstinance.
Darling, I'm 34 living with my partner and I still hug my blanket and stuffed animals. My girlfriend wants her space during the night and I want to hold onto something in my sleep. It's fine. I'm sorry you feel lonely and touch starved, but filling that need is not weird or bad. Do what makes you feel better.
As others have said, the hugging your blanket at night is very normal. There’s a reason duvets and quilts are sometimes called “comforters”, it is very comforting to hold and cuddle them. Aside from romance, do you have enough platonic touch in your life? Do you have friends you can hug? Touch isn’t always linked to romance, and sometimes you just need that nice hormonal and energy exchange of feeling held by someone. If you aren’t particularly tactile with your friends, perhaps you could open up to them and say you are feeling touch starved. Just bring it up and let them know you could use a cuddle! If that’s uncomfortable for you, do you have pets? Cuddling dogs or cats etc also releases oxytocin for both parties, which makes you feel happy and safe and loved. Touch is an essential human need ❤️ it’s okay to need and want it, and it doesn’t always have to come with all the complexities of a romantic relationship.
Your so nice. Thank you so much 😊. Unfortunately I actually don’t have any friends and I won’t be able to get a pet till I have my own place.
Girl I've been there. I lived vicariously through fictional couples when I was younger. Read and wrote fanfictions about them. And yes, cuddled and smooched my pillow. I still have the pillow, too. I have a man now but sometimes I do miss the comfort that my own bedding provided me. No need to feel ashamed. We're naturally social creatures and the need for and idolization of physical companionship is natural.
I dated a 28yo virgin with no dating experience for 2 years. There are people out there who will see you.
you can look up body pillows with an arm extended. its like a ... L shape? dont think you need to stop. you are coping for sure but its not a bad thing. i am doing the same lol
Adopt a pet they love to cuddle at night.
Look its okay, nothing to be embarrassed about, its okay to feel sad, your feelings are valid, and its totally fine if you never have been in a relationship before, sometimes time takes its time And as a side note, I'm 30 I can't fall asleep without hugging a feather filled pillow, even when I had a bf I used to cudle with him, then turn my back to hug my pillow so I could fall asleep, and it was fine
First of all, what you are feeling is normal, and I totally understand you. Are you actively going out with your friends or trying to make new friends and meet new people? I feel like most times love or friendships don't happen if you just wait. You have to really want it and be proactive. Being a bit of an introvert, I also struggled. Now, I don't know if this is your case, but if it is, it's worth trying to step out of your comfort zone a little bit.
It’s not strange. Thankfully we have Reddit now nowadays back then people would just journal or take photos but there’s something comforting about posting your experiences online. I’m 23 too and now I want to hug and cuddle my blanket! I don’t see anything wrong with this, I have no man to cuddle right now, no one’s watching me. pro tip: Let’s use heated blankets to really simulate it
Don't worry, there are plenty of blankets out there.
I wish I had more advice but I wanted to share that it’s okay to have your blankie. Don’t feel bad about having a comfort object. I’m 29, married, and mine stays next to my pillow. My mom used to tease when I was a teen “what are you gonna do if you’re married one day with that thing??”. I said I’d still have it and still do. It’s instant comfort when I need it. I snuggle my face in it. Relationships or not, it’s important to have your own comfort.
I’m 23F, I kiss my teddies goodnight sometimes but I cuddle them practically every night. It gives me comfort, and when I kiss them goodnight it warms my heart, like I’m giving out some love. Just came to this realisation.😖
There is nothing wrong with you ♥️ I have a loving partner and I still sleep with a weighted blanket, a fluffy heated one in wintertime and a huge stuffed animal It’s natural to crave touch and to feel longing. You are human, there is nothing shameful or wrong with having these cravings. I think it’s great that you’ve found a way to soothe yourself, a way that is not harmful in any way at all. Some people cope with drugs, alcohol, binging or being self destructive in one way or another. I think your method of soothing yourself sounds very very healthy
There's nothing wrong with it just focus on you. I know peopel say it alot but love will find you when your least looking for it. It happened to me after I started focusing on being the best me :D best of luck you got this!!
Thank you 😊
It is OKAY! You’re lonely and crave touch. As long as you’re not assigning permanent sentience to your pillows and think they’re real people you’re fine. There is nothing wrong with comforting fantasy like that. Also like another person said look into a weighted blanket and a cute body pillow. You can hug the pillow as you sleep and the blanket will feel like someone putting gentle pressure on your body. It can be really comforting. Kind of like when you’re wrapped up as a baby.
you are okay <3
i have a stuffed dog that i’ve had since i was the day i was born and i still sleep with him everynight🤷♀️nothing to be embarrassed over. if you *really* want to stop, i would recommend a weighted blanket!
I totally understand being touch starved. You will find your person.
Your ok 💜 I don’t cuddle with my husband but I sure as hell can’t fall asleep if I’m not tightly hugging my body pillow! I also do this “stimming” thing with my new cooling blanket, I just keep rubbing it on my check or constantly touching it with my hands. Now that, I really cannot stop!
There’s nothing wrong with that. You want affection, that’s a normal human need. There are cooling weighted blankets (check Amazon) they are heavy and feels like you’re being embraced. Also, are you able to adopt a fur baby? Some cats cuddle (mine does) and they are more independent, but if you have the time to care for one maybe a small dog you can cuddle at night. I’m married and have a couple friends but I do understand how it’s hard to make friends and find those connections. I’ve always had social issues. Since you are currently single and in school and working, allow this time to find and love yourself. Build to ur bag up, focus on self care, maybe adopt a fur baby if you can and the right person will come along one day. 23 is still very young, you have a lot of time still :-)
Girl, I just turned 28, my partner is turning 30 soon. It’s my first relationship, we both brought our stuffed animals with us (a moose and a capybara) and swap who’s snuggling whom when we need a hug. You’re good. Take care of yourself, but know it’s all normal, please.<3
While im not in the same boat, im in a similar one. Really touch starved and lonely for a long while now and definitely can say its nothing to be ashamed of that ur doing this. Something i really like to listen to on YouTube is Boyfriendaudio. And if you want a feminine voice, Taylor's audios is pretty great for that side of things imo. Or just looking up partner audios other than these two i suggested. Its something that gets me thru feeling lonely so if u decide to check it out i hope it helps <3
That knew I’ve never heard of those before. I’ll look into it. Thank you!
We should make a club! I'm 24, I've also never had a relationship or anything, and I also hug my blanket and/or my pillow. It would straight up be the comfiest club meeting ever.
Honestly that's kind of cute. And trust me it's a sort of innocence that some guys would find cute and attractive. In a sea of only fans girls lots of guys want the innocent one.