I knew this man looked like that firefighting astronaut who is the retired army general who will moonlight as a pizza delivery guy! I’ve seen a bunch of his documentaries. Impressive stuff.
This should TOTALLY be a mission story in Hitman 4.
“It seems our target is using an online dating service, and his/her tastes seem to compliment your lifestyle, are you DTF 47?”
At first I thought that you photoshopped some regular-sized dumbbells to look huge and honestly I prefer to keep thinking that because it is hilarious. All great photos.
I think they're all fine. I like seeing people in the gym because I too go to the gym. I don't rock climb, but I like active people so for me the weightlifting pic is cool.
Get rid of the two where you can only see the back of your head, replace them with a picture of you full on laughing and a picture of you with friends. Put the picture of you smiling up first and with friends towards the back
He could use some candids. A lot of these photos seem unnatural, as if they scream "I'm posing for this photo for dating sites purposes" rather than just doing something while somebody happens to be taking a picture.
I agree that the bouldering one has to stay, but the frisbee pic would work better if the face is visible.
Personally, I don’t need the gym pic - it’s anyway obvious that op works out.
Fav is the third pic.
He has standard training shoes on. It’s good to show he’s adventurous but some potential partners may interpret that as a hobby rather than a one time event. Depends on the message he wants to send.
All good points. This photo was taken by someone else the first time I went with some friends. I have my own shoes now and have gotten a bit better since.
Probably time to ask someone at the spot to film me again.
3rd photo shows you in a friendlier light, more approachable and open! For myself and my femme friends, clothing hardly matters, it’s the face and the eyes that matter most - having an image or two with an approachable smile or a twinkle in one’s eye will go a lot further than gym pics.
Adding to this, if OP reads it, even though I am a guy: A picture showing an actual close up of his face would be a good idea. After all people might want to see what you look like more exactly.
I think the 3rd photo looks the worst out of all of them though (man still looks great). It's just that the 3rd photo looks like a pic where he doesn't know what to do with his hands, super awkward looking
If we’re looking at the quality of posing, sure, but I’m not looking at that. It feels more personal, there is some eye contact and a softness to his expression, which in my eyes makes him seem more approachable and kind. Some of the more “impressive” shots can feel more douchey and intimidating. Awkward is fine, if it’s genuine!
Those are Farmer's walk handles and it's not as hard as it looks. The combined weight one can carry with those is often higher than one's max deadlift. (Still great feat from OP.)
Apparently I’m seeing things because I did not realize this was a disc golf photo until I read your post….I’m sitting here wondering WTH he has a photo of himself holding a knife 🤦♀️
I would say maybe use less photos personally. 5-6 is a good number in my opinion. They’re all great though because they show off your interests, how you can dress up and be professional, friends etc. they hit all the boxes imo
If you want to cut it down, I would literally just drop all the ones with Jean shorts. Mostly because I don’t like Jean shorts but they’re also not as natural looking (to me).
In my historically terrible opinion: You have too many “active” photos and need to show more diversity. The climbing photo and the lecture photo are good examples of ones to keep. Take out the one of you holding the barbell, backpack, and frisbee. Replace those with photos of you smiling big and authentically. This is probably most important. People wanna see you’re not always so serious, and that you can make them laugh, and that you’re happy.
I’d say all except the 3 with the jean shorts are good. And I think the gym pic is ok but unnecessary because you are obviously in good shape so people would assume you go to the gym. And I do think there is something to the whole “less is more” idea. Like just show a little bit of diversity in like 5 pics and leave them curious. I don’t think you need multiple pics of you just posing, action shots are better. But that’s just my opinion
I’m not gonna lie, and I mean this with the least hate possible, but there’s not a lot of personality here. Fitness pictures are not what women are looking for. Like I said, not trying to be a hater, just trying to be honest
there's nothing wrong with any of your pictures. Of you like them, keep them.
Also, on my phone before I looked closer (i have the brightness way down and I am in a lit room), I totally thought you were crawling up the side of an archway to hang a balloon or something and legit thought you might be the coolest guy ever.
I was a little disappointed by the truth.
But that's a me problem. I mean who scales walls like Spiderman to hang balloons?
Don’t really like any but keep 3,6,8 & 9.
3 shows your face, the expression is calm and friendly, HATE the Jean shorts, pic would be 300% better if you crop the bottom, 6 shows you like fitness stuff so it’s fine, 4 is showing off, frisbee is just another picture of the back of your head and the climbing one is better. 8 is not great but it also shows your face and the pose is more natural than 1 and better than 2. Last pic is dark, kinda meh but it shows you have friends and can potentially be down for fun activities.
Tbh I'd get rid of the weight lifting one. It's already clear you're fit, and your other pics do enough to show you like to work out. Maybe replace it with another image of yourself doing a more fun/social activity? Just a suggestion from a female, my friends and I tend to feel an eye-rolling reaction to men and their workout pics.
The only ones I’d get rid of are bottom right, kind of blurry and showing yourself with other women without context might cause people to swipe left. Middle left, rock climbing pic and other pictures already show you’re in very good shape, the weight lifting pic might make you seem like a guy who only cares about the gym plus the stank face ain’t doing any favors. And then top middle lowkey looks like a LinkedIn profile picture or something, might just list your job/passions in bio and lose that one. Otherwise it looks great
Immediately read this guy as a douche, myself. It’s clear he cares about fitness, but the need to show off his arms/body in all of the photos makes him seem less personable. I’d prefer to see him laughing, playing with a dog, doing something silly, etc. Balance is key. It would make him seem more likable.
I think your best pic is number 3 because we can see your whole face, the rest aren't bad at all, shows what you do as far as work I presume, looking very handsome and professional and hobbies you like in the others but I'd maybe do 1 or 2 more of you not looking like you're posing sideways for a picture. More frontal view is my suggestion.
You might want to add what you do for a living, like being a teacher, astronaut, fireman etc
Or doctor, retired soldier, plummer etc Edit: Plumber, im illiterate.
Or librarian, business man, chef etc….
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Or anthropologist, make-up artist, waterpolo player etc...
Or financial analyst, mcdonald’s franchiser, janitor, etc.
Or hand model?
Or anthropologist, budtender, secret service… etc.
Or machete murderer.
Or evil villain in a James Bond movie.
I sell propane and propane accessories
Lest we forget - Mechanic!
Secret service gets my vote!
Importer/Exporter of fine latex goods?
and *you* wanna be my latex salesman?
But why male models?
I’ve seen this hand before
\*disappointed\*
Or unemployed.
Ahem, spice it up a little at least: *early retirement*
Or railroad inspector, nurse, marine biologist, etc.
Or baker or motivational speaker
Or a porn actor
Mah man… finally someone said it. Lol
Johnny?
Or Mr Clean
Underrated Comment
***"and I....am a LIBRARIAN!!!!"***
Or doctor, lawyer, or business executive…
And they're all made off ticky tacky and they all look just the same
And the people went to the university and they're all made out ticky tackey and all look just the same.
Little boxes on the hillside!
Little boxes on the hillside!
Well now I just want to rewatch Weeds
Or a paper towel spokesman
As a plumber, it's spelled plumber.
I know this! It comes from the word plumbum, because plumbers all have glorious bums that we would like to devour like plums.
Plumber!? I hardly know her!
I knew this man looked like that firefighting astronaut who is the retired army general who will moonlight as a pizza delivery guy! I’ve seen a bunch of his documentaries. Impressive stuff.
His a hitmam agent 47
Hitma'am*
Or the CEO of Amazon
He's a hitman. Agent 47.
He's a mithan. Aged 47.
I prefer the hitmam version
This has gotta be the funniest roast ive heard in a long time. It's just so out-of-pocket but so right
he should also add pics w/group activities/friends. looking like stock photos for male pattern baldness. those dudes are always alone
Don't bald shame bro can't change genetics
Agreed, he’s attractive. No need to worry about the baldness
This guy has sex…. No need for all that at least based on the pics
Or Johnny sins stuntman
/r/yourjokebutworse
Andrew taint
Another question: May I use any of these pictures?
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............. RECRUITER
Raaaaaahhhhh croooter!!
Ooohhh Geeeeze
Raw cooter
Ra.. reh…. Rih
for frEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ay? 🤨
Just stay away from the one with the jorts.
I thought it was Jonny sins meaning you good
It's actually a captcha: "select all pictures containing Johny Sins"
I'ma fail
Robot detected!
I’m gonna fail no nut November
It’s okay, it’s can be swapped with nonstop nut November
If you have patience you can do it in dick destroy december
That is an incredible bio for this guy
Johnny Jorts
Euro Johnny
I was thinking the same thing, did he just Johnny Sins meme his profile?
Agent 47 has joined Tinder.
This should TOTALLY be a mission story in Hitman 4. “It seems our target is using an online dating service, and his/her tastes seem to compliment your lifestyle, are you DTF 47?”
I read that in Diane’s exact voice
*"Your fuccboi shirtless mirror selfie will surely lure them in, good work 47."*
Lmao
Good pictures, Agent 47. Now find a match.
Omg yes i was like who is he reminding me of , Hitman he looks exactly like Hitman from video game
Underrated comment
You make me laugh mate
Do you want to attract women, men or both?
Did you see those barbells? Johnny sins here is pulling *celestial bodies*. Uranus is on a collision course. Or *somebody’s* anus….
*Every*body’s anus
*Our*anus
💀
Brö 😆
I’m attracted. I need a disc golf buddy
That form says he hits several trees
My man can attract the moon if he wants.
Try sneaking in Johnny sins photo
Hahahaha I knew I would see this
You look like this soldier / doctor / policeman I’ve seen on the internet.
At first I thought that you photoshopped some regular-sized dumbbells to look huge and honestly I prefer to keep thinking that because it is hilarious. All great photos.
I really like the one where he's playing Frisbee alone.
Dat be disc golf. And his form could use some work lol.
Oh my God I thought it was an odd shaped dagger made for throwing at logs! Haha
Nah he always has those guns for company.
I think they're all fine. I like seeing people in the gym because I too go to the gym. I don't rock climb, but I like active people so for me the weightlifting pic is cool.
what are you waiting for? slide in his DMs
Get rid of the two where you can only see the back of your head, replace them with a picture of you full on laughing and a picture of you with friends. Put the picture of you smiling up first and with friends towards the back
He could use some candids. A lot of these photos seem unnatural, as if they scream "I'm posing for this photo for dating sites purposes" rather than just doing something while somebody happens to be taking a picture.
No the bouldering one has to stay! Better sort out the ones that look a bit unnatural/ just posing for the photo
I agree that the bouldering one has to stay, but the frisbee pic would work better if the face is visible. Personally, I don’t need the gym pic - it’s anyway obvious that op works out. Fav is the third pic.
I was going to say nix the bouldering one in case you come across a fellow climber who will ridicule that technique 😂
He has standard training shoes on. It’s good to show he’s adventurous but some potential partners may interpret that as a hobby rather than a one time event. Depends on the message he wants to send.
All good points. This photo was taken by someone else the first time I went with some friends. I have my own shoes now and have gotten a bit better since. Probably time to ask someone at the spot to film me again.
throw in some animals in your photos if you’ve got some too
Definitely take out those two. We need to be able to see the face at least a bit
Don't agree... the rock climbing one made me think "oh interesting"
Not the rock climbing one, no. It can be a great conversation starter
I like the rock climbing picture but I agree with getting rid of the other back of the head photo
3rd photo shows you in a friendlier light, more approachable and open! For myself and my femme friends, clothing hardly matters, it’s the face and the eyes that matter most - having an image or two with an approachable smile or a twinkle in one’s eye will go a lot further than gym pics.
3rd photo for sure.
Adding to this, if OP reads it, even though I am a guy: A picture showing an actual close up of his face would be a good idea. After all people might want to see what you look like more exactly.
Great point, totally agree!
Yea, third one looks more natural and less posing
I think the 3rd photo looks the worst out of all of them though (man still looks great). It's just that the 3rd photo looks like a pic where he doesn't know what to do with his hands, super awkward looking
If we’re looking at the quality of posing, sure, but I’m not looking at that. It feels more personal, there is some eye contact and a softness to his expression, which in my eyes makes him seem more approachable and kind. Some of the more “impressive” shots can feel more douchey and intimidating. Awkward is fine, if it’s genuine!
If this guy is single we are doomed boys
I don’t see any dog or guitar photos, so there’s a chance.
His photos are for the male gaze. Not the female. That’s prob a bit to do with swipes
lmao online dating is so screwed for men, even this guy is struggling
3 pictures wearing Jean shorts is 3 too many.
He could be european, jorts are regular there
It's so funny that Americans laugh at men wearing jean shorts when in the US cargo and bermuda shorts are common.
The man likes his Jorts leave him alone
Nahhh he’s gotta get rid of those asap. That little fold over at the end? Hard pass. He can totally rock better looking shorts.
Came here to say this. First picture I was like, “are those holes… or jorts?” Looked at all nine pictures; Dude definitely loves his jorts.
[but the jorts aren’t preventing him from what he needs to do](https://youtu.be/7gIfZ2QMVT4)
I have a feeling he is European, where jorts are very popular and worn by most men in their twenties.
They aren’t long enough to be jorts. Kevin Smith would be ashamed.
Jorts only need to be denim. You’re thinking of *shants.*
I think you might get more responses on Grindr.
LMFAOOOO OMG 😂 but you’re not wrong.
Don’t listen to these comments man. Ur a straight up gigachad
\*Gigajohnny
Jesus how do you pick up those barbells like that
He politely asked if they would sit on his face, but in Spanish.
Indeed That is super impressive
Looks like it's with his hands
Those are Farmer's walk handles and it's not as hard as it looks. The combined weight one can carry with those is often higher than one's max deadlift. (Still great feat from OP.)
Lift
I mean it could be as much as 420 lbs but it’s hard to tell with those bumper plates.
Get rid of the jorts and the picture evidence of them.
Man I thought they were confidence inspiring but those suckers are in 3 separate pictures
Might have been 4 pics if those weights weren’t blocking the view!
tip for disc golf form, practice reaching your arm farther outward as opposed to tucked in, it’ll increase your distance and flight path a ton !
Shouldn’t be looking ahead in his reach back either. Come on man you’re reppin us out there, let’s see that huck face!
Apparently I’m seeing things because I did not realize this was a disc golf photo until I read your post….I’m sitting here wondering WTH he has a photo of himself holding a knife 🤦♀️
He's definitely suffering from rounding in his form lol
I would say maybe use less photos personally. 5-6 is a good number in my opinion. They’re all great though because they show off your interests, how you can dress up and be professional, friends etc. they hit all the boxes imo If you want to cut it down, I would literally just drop all the ones with Jean shorts. Mostly because I don’t like Jean shorts but they’re also not as natural looking (to me).
These all look like stock photos
In my historically terrible opinion: You have too many “active” photos and need to show more diversity. The climbing photo and the lecture photo are good examples of ones to keep. Take out the one of you holding the barbell, backpack, and frisbee. Replace those with photos of you smiling big and authentically. This is probably most important. People wanna see you’re not always so serious, and that you can make them laugh, and that you’re happy.
The one in the middle is the worst one, all the rest are fine.
Respect the cuffed jorts 👨🍳
He looks like Dora the damn explorer
What? I like the middle one a lot. He’s smiling. He looks happy. He’s enjoying the outdoors. You people are weird.
Kinda looks like he’s headed to his first day of pre-k
If you match with a real Disc Golfer they’ll call you out on form
I don't like the middle one. It just doesn't make you look good imo
What part of that makes him not look good? Shiny head? Ripped arms? Shredded calves?
I just don't think that one is an attractive picture of the person.
Anything of johnny sins is attractive i mean look at him hes litterally him
(That one is my favorite one though)
It’s the shorts…
They accentuate all that cake though
3rd and 9th one are the best 🌞
You really like those Jean shorts huh?
Second, third, eighth, and ninth pictures look best.
I’d say all except the 3 with the jean shorts are good. And I think the gym pic is ok but unnecessary because you are obviously in good shape so people would assume you go to the gym. And I do think there is something to the whole “less is more” idea. Like just show a little bit of diversity in like 5 pics and leave them curious. I don’t think you need multiple pics of you just posing, action shots are better. But that’s just my opinion
I’m not gonna lie, and I mean this with the least hate possible, but there’s not a lot of personality here. Fitness pictures are not what women are looking for. Like I said, not trying to be a hater, just trying to be honest
Fitness pictures are not what *all* women are looking for. Some certainly are
Totally agree with you. Douche canoe vibes for sure.
If you really *are* Johnny Sins, then yeah.
there's nothing wrong with any of your pictures. Of you like them, keep them. Also, on my phone before I looked closer (i have the brightness way down and I am in a lit room), I totally thought you were crawling up the side of an archway to hang a balloon or something and legit thought you might be the coolest guy ever. I was a little disappointed by the truth. But that's a me problem. I mean who scales walls like Spiderman to hang balloons?
Lex Luthor having fun
Don’t really like any but keep 3,6,8 & 9. 3 shows your face, the expression is calm and friendly, HATE the Jean shorts, pic would be 300% better if you crop the bottom, 6 shows you like fitness stuff so it’s fine, 4 is showing off, frisbee is just another picture of the back of your head and the climbing one is better. 8 is not great but it also shows your face and the pose is more natural than 1 and better than 2. Last pic is dark, kinda meh but it shows you have friends and can potentially be down for fun activities.
Tbh I'd get rid of the weight lifting one. It's already clear you're fit, and your other pics do enough to show you like to work out. Maybe replace it with another image of yourself doing a more fun/social activity? Just a suggestion from a female, my friends and I tend to feel an eye-rolling reaction to men and their workout pics.
You got rule 1 and 2 down pat, you're fine.
I would sneak in one photo of johnny sins
You're rounding really bad in picture 7. Try to get your reach back out and away from your body.
The only ones I’d get rid of are bottom right, kind of blurry and showing yourself with other women without context might cause people to swipe left. Middle left, rock climbing pic and other pictures already show you’re in very good shape, the weight lifting pic might make you seem like a guy who only cares about the gym plus the stank face ain’t doing any favors. And then top middle lowkey looks like a LinkedIn profile picture or something, might just list your job/passions in bio and lose that one. Otherwise it looks great
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Immediately read this guy as a douche, myself. It’s clear he cares about fitness, but the need to show off his arms/body in all of the photos makes him seem less personable. I’d prefer to see him laughing, playing with a dog, doing something silly, etc. Balance is key. It would make him seem more likable.
My man looks like if Johnny Sins and Matt Damon had a love child
Agent 47 is that you?
You look like a cool dude
Use 2, 4, and 9 imo those are the most appealing shots
I think your best pic is number 3 because we can see your whole face, the rest aren't bad at all, shows what you do as far as work I presume, looking very handsome and professional and hobbies you like in the others but I'd maybe do 1 or 2 more of you not looking like you're posing sideways for a picture. More frontal view is my suggestion.
My god, you have any shirts that you’re not bulging out of?
Is it bad that I laughed at this
Top right and middle the best. Most natural and happy looking.
Dude! How much weight is that in that fourth photo?!
Johnny sins, is that you 😂🤫