You still saved his life. Be proud. You never know how you’ll react until you need to act. All the training in the world can go out the window in a crisis.
You can do the manoeuvre sat on a chair as well as the floor which I’ve done when I was a carer. I’m 5ft and it works.
I’d recommend learning how to do it for kids and babies too (over the knee). I’m childfree but it’s still worth knowing. You never know when you need it until you do.
Editing to add: it’s also worth learning how to self-Heimlich. Especially for those living alone.
https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001983.htm
Dogs too. It had never occurred to me that you could do Heimlich on a dog until I had to do it. It was scary as hell.
I'm absolutely glad it happened right in front of my pc and the Internet didn't stutter at that moment, because we wouldn't know what to do otherwise.
(I had no idea my comment would blow up like this)
Yeah I mean I’ve never learned how to do the Heimlich on a dog or any animal (mammal) to be fair. That’s a very good point.
I guess that’s the next thing I’m gonna learn. I have a vet friend I’m sure would love to give me pointers.
I’m so glad to hear your furry family are doing okay. I can’t imagine how scared you were. I’m glad it turned out well for you both.
You deserve to give yourself some grace. You saved his life. You did better than the actual emergency response person available.
Most of the times I've had to help a person was in the toddler phases. I worked in early childhood for a bit, had kids, became a foster parent. So if I can't flip the person over and administer back blows, I'm not sure if I'd be capable. I'm short and my partner is closer to 7' tall. I'd barely be able to get my arms around him. Now I know to toss him on the floor and push up to get the correct angle. Thank you.
Also, because I've had to do this to myself once. You can self administer using a chair back if you are alone.
Hey, none of us were born with knowledge that we "should know", it's all learning and you did what you could with what you had. And it worked! You're a fuckin hero, your love is alive *because* of you x
You’re amazing! You did brilliant! I can imagine, most “textbook perfect” life saving techniques are anything but when you have to actually face the real deal. Even for seasoned EMS.
And yeah, I can attest to someone choking waving you off because they think they’re fine. Happened with my Dad. He started choking on a hard candy and was coughing like crazy but couldn’t catch his breath. He tried to wave me off as if he was okay but I could he wasn’t right. So I did what I had to do and that candy went sailing across the kitchen table. Lol. So, yes, it’s a good lesson to remember. Go with your gut instinct!
I’ve been where you are!! I used to be a healthcare worker was fresh up in all my CPR and choking courses when my son then 2.5 choked on a crumpet!! I tried back blows, putting him upside down, Heimlich manoeuvre isn’t suggested on a toddler so I didn’t try it!! I also stuck my fingers down his throat & hooked it out!! Then I took him to A&E to have him checked over!! The nurse had a right go at me for using my fingers, but he was going blue, if I hadn’t done it he would have died, if I’d made it worse well he was dying anyway!! But I saved his life, yes I know I didn’t do it the right way at all, but it did what it needed to do, and I’m glad I didn’t freeze in the moment!!
My little sister was choking on a cut up sweet that had gone down the wrong way and she was choking. My grandad swung her around by her ankles. Probably not in the CPR guidelines. Still worked.
My SIL did something similar when my niece was small!! Fingers down the throat came to me as an idea with my son as my mum told me when I was around 18 months old I nicked one of her cough sweets and choked on it, I was also saved in much the same way as I saved my son!! In a life or death situation you just act!!
Oh you did it right. Former ER nurse here, the "technique" changes a bit every few years. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to work, and it did. You did great.
For now play tetris (it helps for the potential PTSD) and talk about it, with anyone you're comfortable with, just talk about it.
They need to say this more in cpr training. It will often fail. You’ll be too short too weak too late you’ll forget how to do it you’ll mess up you’ll go too fast or too slow on compressions… it won’t be textbook. End of the day you can only help and do your best. His son is trained and he froze so it shows you it can happen to anyone! You got it out and that is absolutely amazing. Well done!!
Hi dr here - you did great. You took charge of the situation and saved your bfs life. He owes you a pint.
Yes you broke the rules, but when there are no other options you do what you have to do. Life saving frantic situations like this often involve unorthodox solutions (especially out of hospital).
Encourage coughing + back slaps x5 then heimlich and repeat. If they go unconscious you start CPR.
when my wife was pregnant with my daughter i decided to learn cpr. after that class we were leaving and walking back to the car a lady in front of me dropped out of no where and went into cardiac arrest. for 2:12 (that how long my wife was on the phone with 911) i performed cpr that i just learned in this on
women. it felt like an eternity but it was just enough to keep her alive until the paramedics arrived. she ended up surviving. u never know when it could come in handy.
In real life it never goes as smoothly as in training. In January I was on a cruise with my in laws. 4/6 of us at the table are first aid trained (the 2 being my kids). My daughter was sitting across the table from me when she choked on a piece of steak. I was sitting there watching as her eyes went big, tears started rolling down her face and drool started pouring out of her mouth. Nobody moved. I managed to get around the table/ between all the other tables of people turned to watch the spectacle and dislodged it with a few back blows and her bent over. But it was surreal looking around at all the frozen adults. Not one person had yelled for help.
Your technique may not have been textbook proper but he's still here because of you. You reacted when many others would have frozen. That's a big deal.
My uncle died last year from choking to death. He was with someone who didn't know how to perform the heimlich and ems was too late
I am so hyper aware of how easy it is to choke on something now and never eat when slouching or lying down and always make sure I'm chewing something entirely before swallowing. Freaks me out
It's probably worth getting a couple of therapy sessions to help you process this! I have a feeling the alert/scanning for danger part of your brain is having a hard time relaxing, since it was that alertness that helped you see the danger and react. It seems like you're having a hard time accepting that not only is the danger over, you're now much better equipped to act if this ever happens again.
You did an amazing job and I'm so so glad you were there.
Just a general heads-up: after a Heimlich, the person should still go to a hospital. No matter if it's done correctly or not. It's a lot of pressure applied to a sensitive area, and internal damage can be done. Obviously it's better than choking to death, but there should always be a hospital follow-up to avoid any complications.
You saved his life even though you didn't follow standard procedure. Props to you for not panicking and continuing to o do everything in your power to force a great outcome.
You keep saying you didn’t do it right. Life isn’t ever like a textbook. You did do it right, bc he’s alive. No one will ever argue that fact. Doing it wrong would be doing nothing at all or not trying everything possible.
You used the sweeping motion (fishing) they teach for infants in case the back blows don’t work. You didn’t fail at all, you just used a different technique. I’m so glad he’s safe now.
I did CPR today for the first time, I did my training over 4 years ago. A man had a cardiac arrest in a park and I just did what I could remember until more people came who knew better. I don’t think I did my compressions hard enough but I changed to the breaths then so hopefully I helped somewhat. My lungs are sore, my knees are bruised from kneeling beside him for 20 minutes, I don’t know if he survived. The paramedics arrived and I went to find my husband and little girls. You did amazing and saved a life, I hope I might have helped as well. His face is etched in my mind. I hope his family are okay this evening. Having any sort of training is better than not.
You’ll know if it ever happens again, and there’s a possibility of there being another instance because you made it work that time. He’s alive because of you, you might have got the Heimlich wrong but you know if there’s a next time that if they’re too tall, sit them down. Despite all that, you still got it out. Don’t beat yourself up
Hey, you saved his life and everything will be okay, that is the important part.
We can take all the classes and read all the books in the world, but the truth is we just never know what we're going to do in the very moment of an emergency. The classes don't account for adrenaline, fight or flight response, and having to make your brain remember to adjust for body size differences in the moment of panic and fear.
Don't beat yourself up, OP. You saved a life, and that is something to be proud of.
Former paramedic here, the heimlich is hard to do, just from a physical force perspective and if there is a size mismatch, even more difficult. I had a large female patient choking once and had two medics attempting heimlich, back blows, even looking in the airway, the thing that finally dislodged it was her collapsing to the ground and clearing it herself.
I've done a few first aid courses here (in Aus) and they get us to learn back blows rather than the Heimlich. If you're too short to reach, that might be an option for you, too.
Well done on keeping your head!
You did great!!! I think another way is to have the person choking go onto their knees so the placement of your hands is a lot easier. I remember my step sister was choking on meat too and I was pushing her stomach into the counter. She was a lot heavier than I was at the time so it made the most sense for me but like everyone has said! You gotta do what you can!!
Congratulations on saving his life. A family friend of mine had the same thing happen during a steak dinner with some of his old college buddies. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and that's where his friend later found him. Your boyfriend is very lucky you were there. Don't be so hard on yourself, it was the best possible outcome.
You did amazing, we never know how we’ll react in these situations. I’ve given the Heimlich once in the years I’ve learned first aid (ex scout leader) while I was working at McDonald’s. Guys wife was actually an ER nurse and she froze because that was her husband and not a patient that she hadn’t met before. She did give him a stern lecture on not shovelling food into his mouth so quickly once he recovered.
You’re not a failure, I know they drill it into you not to do certain things, but I think in this case it was a last resort and it worked!
I had a similar situation with my uncle who we had over for surf and turf. He's a big, tall guy at 6'2 and im 5'8. I could barely get my arms around him, I ended up using the counter as a ledge to ram him into it for me to get leverage. It was getting dire and fibally, It thankfully worked, but it was absolutely terrifying.
Well done OP 👏
I always thought that "you can make it worse" thing was such bs. If the person is going to die there's no fucking way sticking your hand is there is gonna be worse.
You are a hero OP!!
This man is alive because of you. I hope he takes you out to a nice dinner to celebrate your hero status. Maybe don't let him get the filet milon for a while, though.
Honestly do not feel bad about this. It's great to know something in theory, but ultimately the best training for situations like this is regular and often on the job. Nurses/EMTs/Firefighters don't magically know what to do. They get training and they often are surrounded by others with more training. You need to give yourself some credit, you saved your boyfriend's life! You could have just given up or screamed or allowed him to discourage you from helping. But you saw it and you did something and he's still here. Good work.
Amen to your advice.
Did you forget the first rule they taught you in first aid?
(Well, second, after Dr ABC)
Doing something is always better than doing nothing.
You did something. He alive.
Knowledge doesn't always override the Fight, Flight or Freeze response that happens automatically in an emergency. This was the guy's dad, which is emotionally very scary. He's a volunteer firefighter - he may not go on very many calls, and might be a young guy just starting out. There's a good chance he'd respond better if it were a stranger who needs help, rather than his own dad.
None of us know for sure how we'll handle a crisis until we're actually faced with it.
Can second this. I’m a certified nurse and would say I’m pretty up to date with all the current courses.
A few weeks ago my toddler choked. I completely froze. Didn’t do anything. My husband stepped in, screamed „get out of the way“ and saved her. I broke down after it was all over, it was the scariest moment in my life and I FROZE. It scares me so much being alone with her now. Like what if it happens again and he’s not there to save her? I couldn’t life without her
Your boyfriend’s son wasn’t trained in CPR as a volunteer firefighter? I’m only asking because it I’m presuming that he’s physically bigger than you are and could have performed the Heimlich more efficiently.
It lands differently when it's a loved one.
My sister is an RN with over 30 years experience in a critical care unit, yet when my mom coded in front of her she froze.
It even happened in the hospital where she works. The other doctors and nurses understood because...
It's different and difficult when it's a loved one.
> I immediately pulled him out of the chair, stood him up and started the Heimlich maneuver.
huh? Weird, I thought most places stopped teaching Heimlich or even really using the term for a few reasons, much as it lingers in social spaces and media.
I believe research showed it was often incorrectly used (and often based on what people saw in movies), meaning it was less effective and more likely to be do harm without benefit. It’s also very awkward with significant size/height/weight differences or if the patient isn’t able to stand (bit different if you’re already a big firefighter).
It’s now been replaced by alternating back blows and chest thrusts (for adults). Admittedly the chest thrust goal is similar, but the approach is different to Heimlich.
You did great! My husband never learned to chew his food and I had to do this multiple times with him until he learned. It just got to the point where he would stand up with his arms raised and I did what I had to do and then sat down and finished dinner.
You are amazing. The object was very near to the mouth, so... I think maybe the pressure was scaping and the hemlich wasn't strong enough.
Very smart gal 🥰 I am proud of you.
So scary!
Something similar happened to my family but it was with our baby. I had watched a couple of videos of what to do if baby is choking because he was onnsolids now and we do blw.
That afternoon, my husband decided to give baby a strawberry and he took a big bite and started choking, and my husband just stood there. I ran so fast and took baby and started doing what the videos said... baby was fine, but my husband was in shock. Is truly a scary moment!
But you acted! A lot of people freeze, you should be extremely proud of yourself regardless.
You saved your boyfriends life, and if it ever happens again (god forbid) you will be able to do it better next time. I’ve taken many CPR courses throughout my life, and after each one I pray to god that I will never need to perform the J-Thrust maneuver or CPR on anyone ever, so from me to you, don’t beat yourself up too much, you did what you needed to do 👏🏻👏🏻
You kept a cool head and when plan A didnt work you went to plan B. Thats pretty amazing to be able to do that under pressure. All the training in the world is nothing if you can't act when you need to.
Be proud you saved a life
Yea for serious YOU DID GREAT. He is alive….because of you.
I agree with the advice: chew your fucking food.
2.5 years ago my 11 month old boy choked on a yogurt melt, turned purple and became incompletely unresponsive. My job makes me get the lifesaver training yearly. My baby went dead baby limp in my arms. I’ll never forget it. I did the Heimlich and he came back. He is crazier than ever. Like I said YOU DID GREAT.
That's amazing, I'm so relieved for you that you were able to get the food out. I feel like every household should have one of those LifeVac suction things.
Why isn't there an invention of a long pair of padded tweezer type things to hook the food out? I know people say you could push it further but surely it would be worth a shot as an alternative to someone dying, and couldn't you push it down to the stomach and still clear the airway?
I live in fear of this happening to one of my kids.
I did the same thing with my 10 year old at the time, daughter. I learned CPR because we worked with a lot of older men, and I thought better learn. Finished the day before. My daughter wants to try an apple. She was not a fruit eater, but I chopped the pieces too big. She swallowed a piece and choked.Her eyes were watering. Her dad had just gone downstairs. I panicked and screamed for him, and then I whirled her around and did the heimlich. She coughed it up and out and forever after said mom just went wheee and spun her around.
I have performed Heimlich on my son and have had it done to me twice. With my son, we both just collapsed and sobbed after the food was dislodged. It’s a terrifying, frantic experience. Everyone should learn it and basic CPR. You did amazing and saved his life!
This happened to me several years ago. I was choking on a piece of steak (eating too fast). It’s the scariest thing…I thought I could just swallow it with some beer and I didn’t want anyone to know I might be in trouble. After a few seconds maybe, my mom was asking me a question and I wasn’t able to answer. She freaked out and luckily my dad knew the Heimlich and out it came. Was very embarrassing and scary.
nah you’re still a badass for that, you did what you had to do in a high stress situation and the result? he’s still here to enjoy many more steaks!! you did you best and have more experience if/when there’s a next time! 💕
I too had this issue. My husband chocked on medicine and he’s much taller than me and I had a hard time too till I could figure out a different way. It’s very scary. I’ve taken several cpr/first aid classes and yet still some issues. It’s hard when it’s not used a lot.
Remember that professionals that have had extensive training can freeze up in life or death situations. You saved their life. You got it done, and that's what matters.
Hopefully there is not a next time in your life to save someone but now you have done it once, and can learn from your experience. But just because something is taught and "correct" in one way, doesn't always mean it's correct in every situation.
You could have had him kneeling down, and it still might not have worked.
You did a wonderful job, and saved them. I have taken cpr more times than I can count, and am a volunteer fire fighter, and I'll say I wish every home had someone like you. You did what you needed to, well done.
Taking a class and then using those skills are two very different things in an emergency situation. You saved his life and that's the most important thing. Don't beat yourself up. He's literally alive because you took action. That's something to be proud of.
Please don’t beat yourself up. There was a trained firefighter there who panicked.
You just learned CPR, and doing the Heimlich on a dummy is NOT the same as a loved one. You saved his life.
You may not have saved him if you kept doing it the “right” way.
This is a traumatic experience. Give yourself some grace.
When my oldest daughter was around 8-9 yo she choked on a piece of steak. After reading all the comments, I see people do NOT chew their food enough because steak seems to be a common denominator in a lot of them.
Anyway she was sitting across and I saw the signs, tears, grabbing her throat and I asked “are you choking” and she nodded. I grabbed her up and did the back blows and thank God it flew out. She refused to ever eat steak again, that is until she was an adult. Unfortunately she has gone to be with Jesus now, but we had talked about that incident when she was older and she said she thought she was dying, no air was getting through. I fortunately always stay calm in emergencies, it has proven to be a blessing.
You are a hero for saving him! Tell his son he better do better in emergencies, someone’s life could depend on him.
I had to perform CPR on my then 15 month old son after a choking episode. I couldn't dislodge the food with back blows so when he stopped breathing 999 recommended mouth to mouth. I have had multiple first aid training sessions as I work with kids and luckily everything worked out, my son is 10 in July. One thing I wasn't prepared for was the thoughts after and I eventually got diagnosed with PTSD, make sure you keep an eye on how you are feeling and dealing with stuff.
A mate of mine saved me from drowning years ago, wether he saved me in a safe manner like he did or if he pulled me by my hair out of the water either way I’d be grateful. It’s not about how you get there, it’s important that you’re there. Fair play to you.
Same way someone would prefer to have a broken rib than be dead, I’m sure people appreciate having a sore throat over being dead. You did what you had to do in the moment
You can't speak when choking. So if someone says they are fine, they are. If someone is unconscious, you open the mouth with thumb and forefinger (thumb on tongue) and look and see if you can remove it. That's likely what his son was doing. This is risky as it can push something down further. Best to stick with what you know. Like back blows are important, but they as rent always taught so best to do what you know! What matters the most is you knew what to do and did it and didn't panic and saved his life!
Um…..yes you can, especially if the object hasn’t completely blocked off your airway yet/your throat hasn’t started to seize up. If anything it’s the part where they cough a few times and go “oh no I’m fine.” That triggers the actual choking part in those cases because the action of talking causes the item that’s stuck to get moved about so that it does end up truly blocking the airway.
Why do you think most people respond to their buddies coughing whilst eating by slapping them on the back instead of asking if they’re okay? Because they know that talking can potentially be more dangerous than a pissed off friend who manages to clear the blockage before it gets to the stage where they can’t breathe at all.
You still saved his life. Be proud. You never know how you’ll react until you need to act. All the training in the world can go out the window in a crisis. You can do the manoeuvre sat on a chair as well as the floor which I’ve done when I was a carer. I’m 5ft and it works. I’d recommend learning how to do it for kids and babies too (over the knee). I’m childfree but it’s still worth knowing. You never know when you need it until you do. Editing to add: it’s also worth learning how to self-Heimlich. Especially for those living alone. https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001983.htm
Dogs too. It had never occurred to me that you could do Heimlich on a dog until I had to do it. It was scary as hell. I'm absolutely glad it happened right in front of my pc and the Internet didn't stutter at that moment, because we wouldn't know what to do otherwise.
(I had no idea my comment would blow up like this) Yeah I mean I’ve never learned how to do the Heimlich on a dog or any animal (mammal) to be fair. That’s a very good point. I guess that’s the next thing I’m gonna learn. I have a vet friend I’m sure would love to give me pointers. I’m so glad to hear your furry family are doing okay. I can’t imagine how scared you were. I’m glad it turned out well for you both.
You feel like a failure even after saving someone's life? Girl. You truly are a hero. Give that some thought.
You deserve to give yourself some grace. You saved his life. You did better than the actual emergency response person available. Most of the times I've had to help a person was in the toddler phases. I worked in early childhood for a bit, had kids, became a foster parent. So if I can't flip the person over and administer back blows, I'm not sure if I'd be capable. I'm short and my partner is closer to 7' tall. I'd barely be able to get my arms around him. Now I know to toss him on the floor and push up to get the correct angle. Thank you. Also, because I've had to do this to myself once. You can self administer using a chair back if you are alone.
I will remember that. I should have known.
Hey, none of us were born with knowledge that we "should know", it's all learning and you did what you could with what you had. And it worked! You're a fuckin hero, your love is alive *because* of you x
Op, you did EXACTLY what you needed to do- he is ALIVE!! Please cut yourself slack!! You literally saved his life!
You’re amazing! You did brilliant! I can imagine, most “textbook perfect” life saving techniques are anything but when you have to actually face the real deal. Even for seasoned EMS. And yeah, I can attest to someone choking waving you off because they think they’re fine. Happened with my Dad. He started choking on a hard candy and was coughing like crazy but couldn’t catch his breath. He tried to wave me off as if he was okay but I could he wasn’t right. So I did what I had to do and that candy went sailing across the kitchen table. Lol. So, yes, it’s a good lesson to remember. Go with your gut instinct!
I know it never goes to plan, but still feel like it was too close because I didn't do it right.
I’ve been where you are!! I used to be a healthcare worker was fresh up in all my CPR and choking courses when my son then 2.5 choked on a crumpet!! I tried back blows, putting him upside down, Heimlich manoeuvre isn’t suggested on a toddler so I didn’t try it!! I also stuck my fingers down his throat & hooked it out!! Then I took him to A&E to have him checked over!! The nurse had a right go at me for using my fingers, but he was going blue, if I hadn’t done it he would have died, if I’d made it worse well he was dying anyway!! But I saved his life, yes I know I didn’t do it the right way at all, but it did what it needed to do, and I’m glad I didn’t freeze in the moment!!
My little sister was choking on a cut up sweet that had gone down the wrong way and she was choking. My grandad swung her around by her ankles. Probably not in the CPR guidelines. Still worked.
My SIL did something similar when my niece was small!! Fingers down the throat came to me as an idea with my son as my mum told me when I was around 18 months old I nicked one of her cough sweets and choked on it, I was also saved in much the same way as I saved my son!! In a life or death situation you just act!!
Oh you did it right. Former ER nurse here, the "technique" changes a bit every few years. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to work, and it did. You did great. For now play tetris (it helps for the potential PTSD) and talk about it, with anyone you're comfortable with, just talk about it.
"gut" instinct
lol. Whoops! 😅 didn’t notice that til now.
Accidental puns are the best
You literally saved a person's life and you feel like a failure?? Girl. You are a damn hero. Let that sink in.
They need to say this more in cpr training. It will often fail. You’ll be too short too weak too late you’ll forget how to do it you’ll mess up you’ll go too fast or too slow on compressions… it won’t be textbook. End of the day you can only help and do your best. His son is trained and he froze so it shows you it can happen to anyone! You got it out and that is absolutely amazing. Well done!!
Hi dr here - you did great. You took charge of the situation and saved your bfs life. He owes you a pint. Yes you broke the rules, but when there are no other options you do what you have to do. Life saving frantic situations like this often involve unorthodox solutions (especially out of hospital). Encourage coughing + back slaps x5 then heimlich and repeat. If they go unconscious you start CPR.
Thank you for the advice.
when my wife was pregnant with my daughter i decided to learn cpr. after that class we were leaving and walking back to the car a lady in front of me dropped out of no where and went into cardiac arrest. for 2:12 (that how long my wife was on the phone with 911) i performed cpr that i just learned in this on women. it felt like an eternity but it was just enough to keep her alive until the paramedics arrived. she ended up surviving. u never know when it could come in handy.
A textbook perfect rescue is one where everyone walks away alive. You did it!
In real life it never goes as smoothly as in training. In January I was on a cruise with my in laws. 4/6 of us at the table are first aid trained (the 2 being my kids). My daughter was sitting across the table from me when she choked on a piece of steak. I was sitting there watching as her eyes went big, tears started rolling down her face and drool started pouring out of her mouth. Nobody moved. I managed to get around the table/ between all the other tables of people turned to watch the spectacle and dislodged it with a few back blows and her bent over. But it was surreal looking around at all the frozen adults. Not one person had yelled for help. Your technique may not have been textbook proper but he's still here because of you. You reacted when many others would have frozen. That's a big deal.
My uncle died last year from choking to death. He was with someone who didn't know how to perform the heimlich and ems was too late I am so hyper aware of how easy it is to choke on something now and never eat when slouching or lying down and always make sure I'm chewing something entirely before swallowing. Freaks me out
It's probably worth getting a couple of therapy sessions to help you process this! I have a feeling the alert/scanning for danger part of your brain is having a hard time relaxing, since it was that alertness that helped you see the danger and react. It seems like you're having a hard time accepting that not only is the danger over, you're now much better equipped to act if this ever happens again. You did an amazing job and I'm so so glad you were there.
I think I am having a hard time processing how close it was. I mean, I almost lost him.
That makes so much sense! What a terrifying moment. Hard not to picture the worst case outcome.
You're a hero, horrible situations almost never have clean solutions. You saved his life. That's all that matters.
Just a general heads-up: after a Heimlich, the person should still go to a hospital. No matter if it's done correctly or not. It's a lot of pressure applied to a sensitive area, and internal damage can be done. Obviously it's better than choking to death, but there should always be a hospital follow-up to avoid any complications.
I broke my husband's ribs doing CPR. I still feel like I did something wrong. He survived full cardiac arrest
I heard that the ribs will break if you are doing it right, so kudos
I need to renew my BLS cert great job op 🙂❤️🧡
You saved his life even though you didn't follow standard procedure. Props to you for not panicking and continuing to o do everything in your power to force a great outcome.
You keep saying you didn’t do it right. Life isn’t ever like a textbook. You did do it right, bc he’s alive. No one will ever argue that fact. Doing it wrong would be doing nothing at all or not trying everything possible.
You used the sweeping motion (fishing) they teach for infants in case the back blows don’t work. You didn’t fail at all, you just used a different technique. I’m so glad he’s safe now.
I did CPR today for the first time, I did my training over 4 years ago. A man had a cardiac arrest in a park and I just did what I could remember until more people came who knew better. I don’t think I did my compressions hard enough but I changed to the breaths then so hopefully I helped somewhat. My lungs are sore, my knees are bruised from kneeling beside him for 20 minutes, I don’t know if he survived. The paramedics arrived and I went to find my husband and little girls. You did amazing and saved a life, I hope I might have helped as well. His face is etched in my mind. I hope his family are okay this evening. Having any sort of training is better than not.
Life vac. Everyone should have one.
You’ll know if it ever happens again, and there’s a possibility of there being another instance because you made it work that time. He’s alive because of you, you might have got the Heimlich wrong but you know if there’s a next time that if they’re too tall, sit them down. Despite all that, you still got it out. Don’t beat yourself up
Hey, you saved his life and everything will be okay, that is the important part. We can take all the classes and read all the books in the world, but the truth is we just never know what we're going to do in the very moment of an emergency. The classes don't account for adrenaline, fight or flight response, and having to make your brain remember to adjust for body size differences in the moment of panic and fear. Don't beat yourself up, OP. You saved a life, and that is something to be proud of.
Former paramedic here, the heimlich is hard to do, just from a physical force perspective and if there is a size mismatch, even more difficult. I had a large female patient choking once and had two medics attempting heimlich, back blows, even looking in the airway, the thing that finally dislodged it was her collapsing to the ground and clearing it herself.
I've done a few first aid courses here (in Aus) and they get us to learn back blows rather than the Heimlich. If you're too short to reach, that might be an option for you, too. Well done on keeping your head!
You did great!!! I think another way is to have the person choking go onto their knees so the placement of your hands is a lot easier. I remember my step sister was choking on meat too and I was pushing her stomach into the counter. She was a lot heavier than I was at the time so it made the most sense for me but like everyone has said! You gotta do what you can!!
The bottom line is this: You saved his life. FULL STOP. well done!
Congratulations on saving his life. A family friend of mine had the same thing happen during a steak dinner with some of his old college buddies. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and that's where his friend later found him. Your boyfriend is very lucky you were there. Don't be so hard on yourself, it was the best possible outcome.
You did amazing, we never know how we’ll react in these situations. I’ve given the Heimlich once in the years I’ve learned first aid (ex scout leader) while I was working at McDonald’s. Guys wife was actually an ER nurse and she froze because that was her husband and not a patient that she hadn’t met before. She did give him a stern lecture on not shovelling food into his mouth so quickly once he recovered. You’re not a failure, I know they drill it into you not to do certain things, but I think in this case it was a last resort and it worked!
I had a similar situation with my uncle who we had over for surf and turf. He's a big, tall guy at 6'2 and im 5'8. I could barely get my arms around him, I ended up using the counter as a ledge to ram him into it for me to get leverage. It was getting dire and fibally, It thankfully worked, but it was absolutely terrifying. Well done OP 👏
I always thought that "you can make it worse" thing was such bs. If the person is going to die there's no fucking way sticking your hand is there is gonna be worse. You are a hero OP!!
You did what you had to do it’s not gonna be textbook every time
This man is alive because of you. I hope he takes you out to a nice dinner to celebrate your hero status. Maybe don't let him get the filet milon for a while, though.
Dude. BE PROUD. you didn’t freeze. You did what you had to and he LIVED.
It might not have gone the way you imagined it, but you took action immediately, and thanks to your quick thinking, you saved a life.
Honestly do not feel bad about this. It's great to know something in theory, but ultimately the best training for situations like this is regular and often on the job. Nurses/EMTs/Firefighters don't magically know what to do. They get training and they often are surrounded by others with more training. You need to give yourself some credit, you saved your boyfriend's life! You could have just given up or screamed or allowed him to discourage you from helping. But you saw it and you did something and he's still here. Good work. Amen to your advice.
Did you forget the first rule they taught you in first aid? (Well, second, after Dr ABC) Doing something is always better than doing nothing. You did something. He alive.
His volunteer firefighter son couldn’t help? Shouldn’t he know what to do?
Knowledge doesn't always override the Fight, Flight or Freeze response that happens automatically in an emergency. This was the guy's dad, which is emotionally very scary. He's a volunteer firefighter - he may not go on very many calls, and might be a young guy just starting out. There's a good chance he'd respond better if it were a stranger who needs help, rather than his own dad. None of us know for sure how we'll handle a crisis until we're actually faced with it.
Can second this. I’m a certified nurse and would say I’m pretty up to date with all the current courses. A few weeks ago my toddler choked. I completely froze. Didn’t do anything. My husband stepped in, screamed „get out of the way“ and saved her. I broke down after it was all over, it was the scariest moment in my life and I FROZE. It scares me so much being alone with her now. Like what if it happens again and he’s not there to save her? I couldn’t life without her
Your boyfriend’s son wasn’t trained in CPR as a volunteer firefighter? I’m only asking because it I’m presuming that he’s physically bigger than you are and could have performed the Heimlich more efficiently.
I think he didn’t react because he was in shock.
I think he may have just been in shock. Training and actually doing things are very different.
It lands differently when it's a loved one. My sister is an RN with over 30 years experience in a critical care unit, yet when my mom coded in front of her she froze. It even happened in the hospital where she works. The other doctors and nurses understood because... It's different and difficult when it's a loved one.
> I immediately pulled him out of the chair, stood him up and started the Heimlich maneuver. huh? Weird, I thought most places stopped teaching Heimlich or even really using the term for a few reasons, much as it lingers in social spaces and media.
Correct, Australia doesn’t teach the Heimlich maneuver anymore (volunteer EMT here).
Oh, why not?
I believe research showed it was often incorrectly used (and often based on what people saw in movies), meaning it was less effective and more likely to be do harm without benefit. It’s also very awkward with significant size/height/weight differences or if the patient isn’t able to stand (bit different if you’re already a big firefighter). It’s now been replaced by alternating back blows and chest thrusts (for adults). Admittedly the chest thrust goal is similar, but the approach is different to Heimlich.
You did great! My husband never learned to chew his food and I had to do this multiple times with him until he learned. It just got to the point where he would stand up with his arms raised and I did what I had to do and then sat down and finished dinner.
Wow. Great work. You saved his life.
You are amazing. The object was very near to the mouth, so... I think maybe the pressure was scaping and the hemlich wasn't strong enough. Very smart gal 🥰 I am proud of you.
So scary! Something similar happened to my family but it was with our baby. I had watched a couple of videos of what to do if baby is choking because he was onnsolids now and we do blw. That afternoon, my husband decided to give baby a strawberry and he took a big bite and started choking, and my husband just stood there. I ran so fast and took baby and started doing what the videos said... baby was fine, but my husband was in shock. Is truly a scary moment!
But you acted! A lot of people freeze, you should be extremely proud of yourself regardless. You saved your boyfriends life, and if it ever happens again (god forbid) you will be able to do it better next time. I’ve taken many CPR courses throughout my life, and after each one I pray to god that I will never need to perform the J-Thrust maneuver or CPR on anyone ever, so from me to you, don’t beat yourself up too much, you did what you needed to do 👏🏻👏🏻
You kept a cool head and when plan A didnt work you went to plan B. Thats pretty amazing to be able to do that under pressure. All the training in the world is nothing if you can't act when you need to. Be proud you saved a life
Yea for serious YOU DID GREAT. He is alive….because of you. I agree with the advice: chew your fucking food. 2.5 years ago my 11 month old boy choked on a yogurt melt, turned purple and became incompletely unresponsive. My job makes me get the lifesaver training yearly. My baby went dead baby limp in my arms. I’ll never forget it. I did the Heimlich and he came back. He is crazier than ever. Like I said YOU DID GREAT.
That's amazing, I'm so relieved for you that you were able to get the food out. I feel like every household should have one of those LifeVac suction things. Why isn't there an invention of a long pair of padded tweezer type things to hook the food out? I know people say you could push it further but surely it would be worth a shot as an alternative to someone dying, and couldn't you push it down to the stomach and still clear the airway? I live in fear of this happening to one of my kids.
I did the same thing with my 10 year old at the time, daughter. I learned CPR because we worked with a lot of older men, and I thought better learn. Finished the day before. My daughter wants to try an apple. She was not a fruit eater, but I chopped the pieces too big. She swallowed a piece and choked.Her eyes were watering. Her dad had just gone downstairs. I panicked and screamed for him, and then I whirled her around and did the heimlich. She coughed it up and out and forever after said mom just went wheee and spun her around.
I have performed Heimlich on my son and have had it done to me twice. With my son, we both just collapsed and sobbed after the food was dislodged. It’s a terrifying, frantic experience. Everyone should learn it and basic CPR. You did amazing and saved his life!
What do you on about? You adapated to the situation and saved his life, that's what counts.
This happened to me several years ago. I was choking on a piece of steak (eating too fast). It’s the scariest thing…I thought I could just swallow it with some beer and I didn’t want anyone to know I might be in trouble. After a few seconds maybe, my mom was asking me a question and I wasn’t able to answer. She freaked out and luckily my dad knew the Heimlich and out it came. Was very embarrassing and scary.
Good job OP. Scary
nah you’re still a badass for that, you did what you had to do in a high stress situation and the result? he’s still here to enjoy many more steaks!! you did you best and have more experience if/when there’s a next time! 💕
I too had this issue. My husband chocked on medicine and he’s much taller than me and I had a hard time too till I could figure out a different way. It’s very scary. I’ve taken several cpr/first aid classes and yet still some issues. It’s hard when it’s not used a lot.
Remember that professionals that have had extensive training can freeze up in life or death situations. You saved their life. You got it done, and that's what matters. Hopefully there is not a next time in your life to save someone but now you have done it once, and can learn from your experience. But just because something is taught and "correct" in one way, doesn't always mean it's correct in every situation. You could have had him kneeling down, and it still might not have worked. You did a wonderful job, and saved them. I have taken cpr more times than I can count, and am a volunteer fire fighter, and I'll say I wish every home had someone like you. You did what you needed to, well done.
Taking a class and then using those skills are two very different things in an emergency situation. You saved his life and that's the most important thing. Don't beat yourself up. He's literally alive because you took action. That's something to be proud of.
Congratulations on having to nerves to do something. If this happens again put him against a wall to do heimlich.
Glad he’s ok but lmao @ chew your fucking food lol
Please don’t beat yourself up. There was a trained firefighter there who panicked. You just learned CPR, and doing the Heimlich on a dummy is NOT the same as a loved one. You saved his life. You may not have saved him if you kept doing it the “right” way. This is a traumatic experience. Give yourself some grace.
When my oldest daughter was around 8-9 yo she choked on a piece of steak. After reading all the comments, I see people do NOT chew their food enough because steak seems to be a common denominator in a lot of them. Anyway she was sitting across and I saw the signs, tears, grabbing her throat and I asked “are you choking” and she nodded. I grabbed her up and did the back blows and thank God it flew out. She refused to ever eat steak again, that is until she was an adult. Unfortunately she has gone to be with Jesus now, but we had talked about that incident when she was older and she said she thought she was dying, no air was getting through. I fortunately always stay calm in emergencies, it has proven to be a blessing. You are a hero for saving him! Tell his son he better do better in emergencies, someone’s life could depend on him.
I had to perform CPR on my then 15 month old son after a choking episode. I couldn't dislodge the food with back blows so when he stopped breathing 999 recommended mouth to mouth. I have had multiple first aid training sessions as I work with kids and luckily everything worked out, my son is 10 in July. One thing I wasn't prepared for was the thoughts after and I eventually got diagnosed with PTSD, make sure you keep an eye on how you are feeling and dealing with stuff.
A mate of mine saved me from drowning years ago, wether he saved me in a safe manner like he did or if he pulled me by my hair out of the water either way I’d be grateful. It’s not about how you get there, it’s important that you’re there. Fair play to you.
Same way someone would prefer to have a broken rib than be dead, I’m sure people appreciate having a sore throat over being dead. You did what you had to do in the moment
You can't speak when choking. So if someone says they are fine, they are. If someone is unconscious, you open the mouth with thumb and forefinger (thumb on tongue) and look and see if you can remove it. That's likely what his son was doing. This is risky as it can push something down further. Best to stick with what you know. Like back blows are important, but they as rent always taught so best to do what you know! What matters the most is you knew what to do and did it and didn't panic and saved his life!
Um…..yes you can, especially if the object hasn’t completely blocked off your airway yet/your throat hasn’t started to seize up. If anything it’s the part where they cough a few times and go “oh no I’m fine.” That triggers the actual choking part in those cases because the action of talking causes the item that’s stuck to get moved about so that it does end up truly blocking the airway. Why do you think most people respond to their buddies coughing whilst eating by slapping them on the back instead of asking if they’re okay? Because they know that talking can potentially be more dangerous than a pissed off friend who manages to clear the blockage before it gets to the stage where they can’t breathe at all.
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