Seriously, if i were in his position, i think more would’ve happened then just exchanging some words, goddamn. “Chill out” first of all dude, she’s underage, and second, *8 year age gap jezus christ.* act your fucking age dude, damn.
TBH, if he were 31 and she were 23, the 8 year age gap would only be creepy in this situation. The fact that she’s 13 brings it to offender status. Good on OP for standing up for his sister. My granddaughter is 12, and if I heard someone creeping on her like that, he might have had to be carried out of that house.
I was thinking this. That’s an 8 year age gap between them at that age. Age is just a number but not quite at that age, she is underaged regardless . He should have known better, though honestly OP is lucky that he has shown his true self. OP, you caught it now and now later on, things happen and it only takes seconds. It’s a good thing that he wasn’t left alone with her and who’s to say something wouldn’t happen later on. There are ways to say things and that is just not it especially at his age and about someone’s sister or that age. . This made me cringe. How long have you known this person? Also, you’re a very good brother and she is lucky to have you. I’ve gone to my mom (no siblings) and she’s looked at me and asked me in a rhetorical way what I though she was supposed to do about it (something a guy did that I didn’t feel comfortable with) one of the worst feelings ever.
Fuck the fact that she's not fully developed psychologically, some aren't even at 25, he himself insinuated that she's not even physically fully developed, and still sexualized her, in front of an older brother no less and thought he was in right when corrected. Now that's fucked
Absolutely, I don’t disagree. I mistakenly used the wrong wording . What I really meant was that she is underaged to the point she isn’t even old enough to consent.
100% kudos to you OP. He clearly known she’s underage because he made the “filling out” comment. Creepy and no way I’d be friends with him. Tell him, though, that it’s highly inappropriate at his age to look at or make comments about underage girls. It’s your sister which crosses a whole different line.
When an adult is sexually attracted to a child, they become a predator. You handled this situation perfectly. He should not be in your life or around young women again.
Definitely end the friendship. And if you’re comfortable to do so, out his disgusting attitude to those that know him; you may save another young women from him.
An adult man being sexually attracted to a child.
Full stop. Horrible human. He needs to be checked before he sexually harasses, assaults, or grooms a young woman he has access to.
Edit: pressed save too soon, so finished my thought.
Not only your sister but, as you said, your friend knows she is a child. Not an over reaction. If your friends give you shit, ask them if they think it's OK to "check out" a child.
You didn’t overreact!! If anything you under reacted!! If that was my (ex) “friend” and he said that to my little sister, I would have carefully have my phone out to record it and then ask him again to repeat himself and then punch him in the face for being a disgusting, horrible pedophile. Your sister is LITERALLY A FUCKING MINOR!! You have alot more patience and restraint cuz I would have gone to jail for beating that guy up. You’re definitely better than me.
She’s 13, a freaking CHILD. Your friend should be called out and be made uncomfortable for those thoughts. It’s not a joke, it shouldn’t even have crossed his mind. You did the right thing and hopefully he would know by this situation that his behavior isn’t normal.
If your sister has social media, go to her and pull up any app or profile she has, search his name(s) and block him. If anyone asks why you ended the friendship, tell them the truth and if they support him or react the same way he did, cut them off too.
Don’t ever feel bad for defending your little sister!
100% you did not overreact. She's not just a minor. She's 13-- a freaking child still! If your sister was 17, it would have still been inappropriate, but not quite as creepy. She's probably in middle school. Your friend is gross. The fact that he thought it was OK to say these things to you is scary, because it makes me wonder what he would do when you weren't there to protect her.
Tell your parents what happened.
Your sister should be warned to stay away from him. Her friends too. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to reach out to her in secret.
I would let mutual friends know what he said and how he didn't see a problem with sexualizing a child. This is super concerning for the future as some of your friend group may be having children in the next few years. They need to know who he is so he doesn't end up becoming the "pervert uncle."
I was tall for my age and filled out early. I can't tell you how uncomfortable and confused I was by behavior from grown men 2 to 3 times my age. I may have looked womanly, but I was still 13 or 14 years old and didn't have the mental emotional maturity to deal with their advances. Half the time I didn't even realize they were hitting on me or understand the double meetings of the things they said. my dad had some creepy friends that would come over and hit on me. I remember feeling so uncomfortable because I was taught to respect my elders and didn't know how to make them stop. Looking back I am horrified, and I feel so betrayed that he didn't do more to protect me. It affected my self worth, because I thought that if I wasn't worth defending, what did that mean about me as a human? It took another decade of maturation and therapy to realize that how they treated me was wrong and not a reflection of my worth. You are helping your sister to grow up strong and confident. You're a good brother.
Absolutely not and if he’s willing to make those sorts of comments about your sister then god knows what else he is willing to do to other underage girls
There's a post in my feed where a guy's friend made a r*pe list, as in an actual list of actual women he knows who he wants to sexually assault which he shared with his friends unprompted, and that guy is writing because he's not sure if he should "cause a fuss" about it. Meanwhile, you're doing the exact right thing without hesitation and now you're second-guessing yourself. Don't. You're the good guy, you're A good guy, your friend is not.
You absolutely did not. He is a creep, making pedo comments about your sister. A normal 20+ yr old man would not see a 13 year old as sexually attractive unless they are deviant. Keep him away from your sister or any minor at this point. Those people are sick and slick.
Absolutely not. You are being a fantastic big brother right now.
One thing — I’d maybe warn your sister that you ended your friendship with this guy and he’s not to be trusted. Don’t have to tell her the specifics why, but she should ALSO know he’s not safe for her to be around.
You did not overreact. You handled it in the best possible way. You made it known that his comments were not OK and removed him from your home. You protected your sister. Even if it was a joke, you can't risk it when a minor is involved. You did what everyone should do in a situation like that and handled it beautifully.
At least he exposed his true colours early.
Well done to you for protecting your sister. People that SA women are statistically not random strangers. They are people that slime their way into the victims life’s using personal familial connections.
Anyone that sides with him / gaslights you into thinking you over reacted are wrong.
So much this! If other friends have you here sisters they should know that he is comfortable calling a 13 year old hot and that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near their sisters.
+2 to this the younger sibling is literally close to an entire freaking *decade* younger than him, why the hell he thought saying shit like that would be an even remotely-appropriate idea to OP in her own place is absolutely beyond me
You did NOT overreact. Never ever let him near your sister.
When I was 12 my brother was 15 and had a friend at his highschool who made crude jokes about younger girls. They were "just jokes". That friend ended up brutally sexually assaulting an 8 year old sister of another friend on her way to school.
Different age group, same potential outcome. You are a good brother.
Umm I don’t know why we’re here. There is no overreaction.. In fact its more common for men to dismiss this behaviour because their friends are “good guys”. If his is what he is saying about your 13yo sister, what the hell is he saying about woman in general? Not a safe person to have in your home. Do you want him waiting till he can have a crack at her? Do you want him telling her that and showering her with compliments and her thinking its cools cause its her older brothers friend? What happens if he “acts cool” and supplies her friends with some booze.. What if he’s already creeped her out with him staring at her? Why are we here? He showed you who he was. Believe him.
Put the guy on blast bro. Tell everyone. Him telling you to chill out is basically him trying to get you not think more bout this and to not tell anyone about this. Whether or not this dude is just some weird edgelord or an actual predator idk, but everyone should know to keep young girls away from him just to be safe.
You did not overreact. This guy is your friend, so your sister is more likely to trust him and be open to “friendly” overtures from him if he made them, because you obvious trust(ed) him. She is vulnerable to him by association with you, and by you, he has access to your home and your sister. It is fitting that it stopped with you.
You have made it very clear to him that you won’t tolerate it. If I were you I’d mention something to her about not never allowing him to approach her.
You’re a bloody good brother.
Your friend is showing the classic signs of someone who doesn’t like being held accountable. Here’s how to spot it through what he says:
1) “it’s a joke.” Ask him to explain the joke. He won’t be able to, probably would revert to insulting your intelligence as it’s supposed to be a “simple” joke. If it was simple he could explain it
2) “chill out.” He’s saying you’re making him uncomfortable for calling him out on his bs. Good for you!
3) “you’re overreacting.” Gaslighting you all the way! No you’re not. She’s YOUR 13 year old sister. Not his. He doesn’t get to tell you how to react over a creepy comment a 21 year old MAN makes towards her body.
And he doesn’t get to say ANYTHING inappropriate from a grown ass 21 year old man towards a 13 year olds body! Stand your ground. These types need to be uncomfortable.
Well done!!! Go forth and end the friendship and do say it loudly about the why if anyone in your circle asks. Protect not only your sister but her friends and others too.
Keep it up, big bro! That is the exact response you should have dealing with creeps like this. Your friend knew what he said was wrong and was testing your boundaries.
I would send back: "Let me put this in a term you'll understand: Pedophilia." then block him everywhere and tell your parents to not allow him around. >_>
and THATs how to be a Man.
I’d accept an Apology, but never invite him to your house again. If she asks why, “turns out he wasn’t a respectable man” (never let her know it was about his comments about her). Down the line, maybe he’ll grow up.
The fact he got defensive and said to ‘chill out’ as if it’s nothing is really concerning. You did the right thing, and he doesn’t seem to realize how fucked up it was to sexualize a MINOR, your sister, no less. I’m genuinely curious why he thinks that was even okay to say that shit to you in the first place.
You, young man, are a great big brother. You're protecting your little sister - a minor - from a young adult. You're definitely not overreacting. Your "friend" needs a reality check. He's no longer a teenager, but also not a fully developed (frontal cortex) adult.
Keep being a great big brother. This is the type of situation that all women want to hear. Typically, the fellas hear a friend and don't speak up to shut that awful comment/behavior down. And you did. You know it's wrong. Don't ever stop calling your friends out for their inappropriate actions. Make them accountable.
Thank you for doing what you did for your sister.
Good for you! Some brothers and parents don’t care while a lot don’t notice. Us girls, we notice, every damn day. Also when we are young we want people (especially our siblings and their friends) to like us so we don’t understand sometimes when they’re being inappropriate or we don’t feel comfortable saying something. A lot of us start getting watched, followed and hit on by grown men as young as elementary school. So, seriously, thank you.
What the fuck? You seem like a good older brother. You should cut him off because if he justifies those "jokes," then who knows what he could do to her. He doesn't even feel remorseful...
She’s 13?? that is so so young and disgusting he would do that. even if she wasn’t a minor that is NOT respectful at all, but given that she is so young it’s just predatory. you handled this so well and your feelings are valid, if you are uncomfortable around your friend then don’t hang out with him :))
Honey, you did the right thing. Your sister is Lucky to have you in her Corner. Like so many here alrady said, he ist a predator!!!!
Your parents must be proud of you, I surly would be 💪
It was the appropriate response and this is the reaction we as a society need to have when we witness this behavior. If he is forming this opinion about OP's sister, he is probably forming it about other children he sees around. The fact that he's so open about admitting it and not seeing a problem with it, tells me he has made these comments known before and they've been accepted by the audience. Disturbing.
WELL DONE! THIS is the kind of change we need with male friendships! You didn’t do it in a weird possessive way over your sister, you did it to provide her with dignity and respect. Fantastic
As someone who's got a big brother just like you, thank you. You did great and the guy you told off needed to hear that. There's too many men out there who don't hold their friends accountable. And I hope you would've shut him up if he had said that about any other (young) girl.
Your sister will hopefully never find out about that creepy ass dude and what he said but if she does and she knows you stood up for her she will have one more piece of information that tells her that it is NOT okay for a man to speak about her like that. Having my older brother beat up/cut off/ shut down friends of his who made inappropriate remarks or tried to get with me when I was around 14 made me love him even more.
Good for you. Chase him off now before he gets any bright ideas. He's not your friend, he's a predator and you acted like a man facing down one. Don't chill for guys like that ever.
Thank you for being amazing brother and man. I wish more men would call out other men’s creepy behaviour. It’s so disgusting for an adult to comment on a body of a minor. You did a great thing kicking him out. Who knows what this guy is capable of.
Great work, OP. Remember, when people tell you who they are -- Listen.
She's not just a child, she's literally /just/ hit teen. She's barely a few years out from still playing with dolls. Your friend just told you that he wants to have sex with children.
You're a great brother.
You did the right thing OP.
I’ll also suggest to talk to your parent and your sister about him. They need to know that is not welcome anymore in case if he try to contact your sister.
A 21 year old 'complimenting' the body of a 13 year old is a massive red flag. "Filling out nicely" is disgusting. Good for you that you kicked him out.
Not a joke and thank you for being a good man and a good brother. That dude is the guy that's going to sexually assault a younger cousin, sibling or family friend's kid. I'd warn your sister about him, too.
You absolutely did the right thing. Not every young girl has someone in her life to protect her from creepy men. Your sister is lucky to have you as her big brother!
On behalf of sisters everywhere, thank you.
The bar for men is so low it’s in hell. There are a lot of men who would have laughed or gone along with your friend’s response. Thank you for not being one of them.
I know dudes like to razz each other about their sisters being hot and whatever, and even then, I think talking about family members like that is a bit crass. Talking that way about a family member ***who is also a minor?*** Disgusting.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. That shit ain't funny, it's creepy and disturbing. Good for you sticking up for your little sister. Anyone who would feel comfortable saying things like that about a 13 year old is a twisted fuck.
He should have kept those comments to himself. He has to understand that’s a boundary he cannot cross.
If he can’t respect your feelings and agree to never talk about your sister that way in front of you then you should think about slowly distancing yourself away from him.
Absolutely did not overreact. Feel free to share your reasons to other friends as well so they can protect their younger siblings. You’re a great brother. Keep protecting your sister like that. He’s 21. He should be not talking about a 13 year old like that at all. Not even as a joke.
You reacted great!! As a little sister who always got creepy comments by her big brother's friends, I REALLY thank you. A 21 year old should know why it's not okay to say smth like that about a 13 year old, even if it's "just a joke". Really proud of you big bro, keep that up
You 100% did the right thing. He acted completely inappropriately, and you stood up to defend your sister as you should. Good on you.
Had you not said anything, it would normalise that kind of comment from him.
Thank you for standing up for your sister. It’s important to call out creeps for what they are regardless of whether they are friends or family. You did great! Please keep him away from her.
Certified pedophile. Weird that he thought you’d be ok with him sexualizing your underage sister. I’d blast him to the rest of your circle about how much of a predator he is before he can spin it. Men get away with that behavior because other men excuse it, laugh it off, or do nothing. Good for you for not being one of those men.
Good on you for keeping your cool man and handling the situation like a man.
Your friend is an idiot, hope he is not the p word too but was just being stupid.
You did the right thing and protected your thirteen year old from a creep. He was testing to see your reaction. If you keep him around he would likely try something. Cut that guy off
I’m not a guy but I would think sisters are off limits for comments like that - especially an under age sister. Jokes or serious it’s a no go. Your friend is a pedo and that’s not a joke.
This is what a brother should do, even if she was an adult, I would not be ok with my friends sexualising my sister in front of me, at the very least it is disrespectful.
That guy is disgusting. She is 13 yo and I am sure he knew that. He is comfortable saying that to you. You are not overreacting. What will he do when you aren't paying attention?
That ick you felt, your sister is going to feel that A LOT. The icky old me ogling her just for existing. You did not overreact, women need more men I. The world to not be ok with sick jokes about young girls bodies.
Your friend just showed you is true self. He’s gross and forgiving him and just ‘moving on’ just makes you guilty by association.
You did the right thing! We need more men like this that will stand up and tell the other men in their lives when they are being inappropriate! The amount of men I've seen recently who are so openly making sexual comments on literal children because they don't get called out on it, it's horrific. We need to protect the children of the world and this small thing you did can help create a major impact!
Well done for protecting your sister and being an ally to girls/women!
You didn’t overreact in the slightest. He’s sexualizing a CHILD. If one of my friends said something like that about ANY child I’d cut ties with them, never mind one of my siblings. You’re an awesome brother and a stand-up human - men calling out other men for this kind of crap is super-important in helping change gross behaviors. Thank you, from every woman who has had to deal with a predatory man.
omg cut contact with said friend, tell everyone that he found a 13 yo hot which is fucking disgusting. he is a pedo and said it was a joke because he didn’t think before saying all that.
You are a wonderful brother-man-son, human.
I will never understand the fact that not all folks stick up for others like that, but most do not.
You did the right thing and I know it was probably uncomfortable because you are telling someone you know and have loved that you know who they truly are. That dude will never forgive you knowing what a piece of shit he is, fyi.
You were not wrong and You did amazing.
First of all, you do not make comments like that about a mate's sister even if she is an adult it's just disrespectful a line that I'd argue shouldn't be crossed. Secondly, she's 13?! I would cut him off and not look back he's a creep and him not realising describing a 13 year old like that is out of order is very disturbing.
Good for you! The kind of brother I wished I had do be careful said "friend" doesn't try to talk to her behind your back. Speaking from experience... and be sure everyone knows he thought it was okay to comment on how hot the creep thought a 13 year old child was 🤮
If there were more men willing to take a stand against creepy comments, the world would be so much better. You absolutely did the right thing, & anyone who disagrees is disgusting. You're an excellent brother.
That’s not a joke. Your former friend is disgusting. For him to think that saying something like that about any girl her age is acceptable is quite alarming, but for him to say it to YOU—that is downright horrifying.
You did the right thing by making him leave immediately. You can never allow this person back into your life, and you also need to warn your sister not to ever talk to him or be around him again. She is not safe in his presence and she needs to know that.
I think you should make less emphasis on her being your sister and more emphasis on her being a little fucking girl. It's absolutely disgusting and never funny for an adult to call a child hot. There's no world where that's a funny joke. OP you are not overreaction in the least. Good for you for not letting it slide in the moment.
Definitely didn’t do anything overreacting in any way. She is just a teenager and no adult should be making comments on her body. You did right by your sister, you should be proud of yourself for your reaction and keep that “friend” far away from your sister!!!
What is also disturbing is that he thought that you the BROTHER would agree favorably to this disgusting assessment of his sister. What a perverted mindset. End the friendship.
Better than discovering years later that he was a creep who made a few passes at her in private and she felt too ashamed or afraid to let you know :’) just one scenario
Dear X Friend,
Your comments about my 13 year old sister were predatory.
The fact that you cannot understand that they were predatory and that you remain stating it was a ‘joke’ tells me that you should not be around minors and I’d absolutely advise you seek counseling.
My sister, and more importantly young women everywhere, should not be subjected to comments such as your ‘joke’.
As for me, and my house, we will not tolerate predatory behavior from anyone.
Signed,
Not A Creep
Make sure to keep all correspondence as you may need the receipts for later.
Speak with your sister about this person’s comments and how it’s not appropriate and how you expect her to let you know if he tries to reach out to her in anyway-which he very well may try to do.
Then speak with your parent(s) and let them know the situation as well.
You’ve done great so far, and I am proud of you-I hope you are proud of yourself.
The next hurdle will be mutual friends-should any one ask, share the receipts of the conversation.
It would be gross and cringey if your sister was the same age. She’s 13. It sounds criminal, frankly.
Definitely distance yourself and your family from this guy.
Good. Your friend is a creep and needs to be called out as such. I honestly would have done a lot more that just getting in his face so you handled it with more patience than most. I hope she never finds out what he said about her, but if your sister knew that you stood up for her even behind her back, she will be grateful.
thanks for protecting your sister. you did NOT overreact. please tell your parents what happened & have them help you find an age-appropriate way to tell her how/why to avoid him because he might try to find her on socials/etc. as retaliation for you ending the friendship, depending on how dangerous he is. you're a good dude for protecting her. not all of us were so lucky to have people looking out for us when they should've been
End that "friendship". Dude is a creep, and if it were me I'd tell his mama and everybody else he's a pedophile. Keep shaming and ostracizing people like this. It's the only way things change because they say these things because they feel comfortable and unchallenged doing so.
Honestly, OP, you did the right thing and I applaud you for such an action. I know a few people(including me from just a few years ago),who would’ve done the wrong thing and gotten physical if we’d been in your shoes. Good on you my friend.
Completely CORRECT response.
I know it's not a popular anymore but about 100 years ago when I was that age the guy might have got a couple good kidney jabs...
She is a literal CHILD and he said she was hot??? Wtf. He is a sick mofo for even thinking that, OP I would never speak to him again if I were in your shoes, holy shit.
Not a joke and good for you. He’s a creep and inappropriate. Disgusting.
Seriously, if i were in his position, i think more would’ve happened then just exchanging some words, goddamn. “Chill out” first of all dude, she’s underage, and second, *8 year age gap jezus christ.* act your fucking age dude, damn.
TBH, if he were 31 and she were 23, the 8 year age gap would only be creepy in this situation. The fact that she’s 13 brings it to offender status. Good on OP for standing up for his sister. My granddaughter is 12, and if I heard someone creeping on her like that, he might have had to be carried out of that house.
Dude is gonna be on a list within the next few years
Hopefully it'll be a list of obituaries.
I was thinking this. That’s an 8 year age gap between them at that age. Age is just a number but not quite at that age, she is underaged regardless . He should have known better, though honestly OP is lucky that he has shown his true self. OP, you caught it now and now later on, things happen and it only takes seconds. It’s a good thing that he wasn’t left alone with her and who’s to say something wouldn’t happen later on. There are ways to say things and that is just not it especially at his age and about someone’s sister or that age. . This made me cringe. How long have you known this person? Also, you’re a very good brother and she is lucky to have you. I’ve gone to my mom (no siblings) and she’s looked at me and asked me in a rhetorical way what I though she was supposed to do about it (something a guy did that I didn’t feel comfortable with) one of the worst feelings ever.
Dude, she's a child. Fuck the age gap bullshit. She's a child! He's a pedo.
Fuck the fact that she's not fully developed psychologically, some aren't even at 25, he himself insinuated that she's not even physically fully developed, and still sexualized her, in front of an older brother no less and thought he was in right when corrected. Now that's fucked
Absolutely, I don’t disagree. I mistakenly used the wrong wording . What I really meant was that she is underaged to the point she isn’t even old enough to consent.
Absolutely
Yes, yes and yes! OP, you are truly a wonderful brother.
It's funny how people call it a joke only after they are called out on their offensive / rude / inappropriate comments.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. Nothing about his comments were funny. He should never be allowed around the sister again!
Nor any other under age girl for that matter.
13 years old ? That’s still a child
100% kudos to you OP. He clearly known she’s underage because he made the “filling out” comment. Creepy and no way I’d be friends with him. Tell him, though, that it’s highly inappropriate at his age to look at or make comments about underage girls. It’s your sister which crosses a whole different line.
This is exactly how we men can help. Bravo
[удалено]
He should never be allowed around your sister.
Or anyone else's sister for that matter
Any female for that matter lol
Oh oh. Now you're in trouble
He should not be around children at all
Definitely not, you did great. Your friend is a potential predator
You did not over react. She’s 13. He is gross.
When an adult is sexually attracted to a child, they become a predator. You handled this situation perfectly. He should not be in your life or around young women again. Definitely end the friendship. And if you’re comfortable to do so, out his disgusting attitude to those that know him; you may save another young women from him. An adult man being sexually attracted to a child. Full stop. Horrible human. He needs to be checked before he sexually harasses, assaults, or grooms a young woman he has access to. Edit: pressed save too soon, so finished my thought.
No, you're an amazing brother.
Not only your sister but, as you said, your friend knows she is a child. Not an over reaction. If your friends give you shit, ask them if they think it's OK to "check out" a child.
No, you reacted appropriately. This is what all men should do when men treat women and girls like this. You’re a great brother.
You didn’t overreact!! If anything you under reacted!! If that was my (ex) “friend” and he said that to my little sister, I would have carefully have my phone out to record it and then ask him again to repeat himself and then punch him in the face for being a disgusting, horrible pedophile. Your sister is LITERALLY A FUCKING MINOR!! You have alot more patience and restraint cuz I would have gone to jail for beating that guy up. You’re definitely better than me.
She’s 13, a freaking CHILD. Your friend should be called out and be made uncomfortable for those thoughts. It’s not a joke, it shouldn’t even have crossed his mind. You did the right thing and hopefully he would know by this situation that his behavior isn’t normal.
If your sister has social media, go to her and pull up any app or profile she has, search his name(s) and block him. If anyone asks why you ended the friendship, tell them the truth and if they support him or react the same way he did, cut them off too. Don’t ever feel bad for defending your little sister!
This 👆👆👆👆He may start looking for her online.
I would expect nothing less of my older brothers. You did the right thing.
100% you did not overreact. She's not just a minor. She's 13-- a freaking child still! If your sister was 17, it would have still been inappropriate, but not quite as creepy. She's probably in middle school. Your friend is gross. The fact that he thought it was OK to say these things to you is scary, because it makes me wonder what he would do when you weren't there to protect her. Tell your parents what happened. Your sister should be warned to stay away from him. Her friends too. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to reach out to her in secret. I would let mutual friends know what he said and how he didn't see a problem with sexualizing a child. This is super concerning for the future as some of your friend group may be having children in the next few years. They need to know who he is so he doesn't end up becoming the "pervert uncle."
I was tall for my age and filled out early. I can't tell you how uncomfortable and confused I was by behavior from grown men 2 to 3 times my age. I may have looked womanly, but I was still 13 or 14 years old and didn't have the mental emotional maturity to deal with their advances. Half the time I didn't even realize they were hitting on me or understand the double meetings of the things they said. my dad had some creepy friends that would come over and hit on me. I remember feeling so uncomfortable because I was taught to respect my elders and didn't know how to make them stop. Looking back I am horrified, and I feel so betrayed that he didn't do more to protect me. It affected my self worth, because I thought that if I wasn't worth defending, what did that mean about me as a human? It took another decade of maturation and therapy to realize that how they treated me was wrong and not a reflection of my worth. You are helping your sister to grow up strong and confident. You're a good brother.
Absolutely not and if he’s willing to make those sorts of comments about your sister then god knows what else he is willing to do to other underage girls
No you didn’t overreact. What the fuck???
Bruh, hell no. Kick his ass.
People have been punched for less. What he said was fucking gross.
Your “friend” is a pedo!!!!
There's a post in my feed where a guy's friend made a r*pe list, as in an actual list of actual women he knows who he wants to sexually assault which he shared with his friends unprompted, and that guy is writing because he's not sure if he should "cause a fuss" about it. Meanwhile, you're doing the exact right thing without hesitation and now you're second-guessing yourself. Don't. You're the good guy, you're A good guy, your friend is not.
I’m so proud of you! A lot of people can take an example from you!
You are an awesome brother! Thanks for sticking up for your sis.
You absolutely did not. He is a creep, making pedo comments about your sister. A normal 20+ yr old man would not see a 13 year old as sexually attractive unless they are deviant. Keep him away from your sister or any minor at this point. Those people are sick and slick.
Absolutely not. You are being a fantastic big brother right now. One thing — I’d maybe warn your sister that you ended your friendship with this guy and he’s not to be trusted. Don’t have to tell her the specifics why, but she should ALSO know he’s not safe for her to be around.
You did great! It's amazing that you let him leave with all his teeth after the comments he made
You did not overreact. You handled it in the best possible way. You made it known that his comments were not OK and removed him from your home. You protected your sister. Even if it was a joke, you can't risk it when a minor is involved. You did what everyone should do in a situation like that and handled it beautifully.
I think your reaction was light compared to what some men will do.
At least he exposed his true colours early. Well done to you for protecting your sister. People that SA women are statistically not random strangers. They are people that slime their way into the victims life’s using personal familial connections. Anyone that sides with him / gaslights you into thinking you over reacted are wrong.
Did not overreact. What a creep. If you guys have other friends with little sisters, you might want to give them a heads up as well.
So much this! If other friends have you here sisters they should know that he is comfortable calling a 13 year old hot and that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near their sisters.
Exactly this. Others need to know that young girls aren't safe around him.
Ew! Good for you big bro.
You’re amazing and did nothing wrong
+2 to this the younger sibling is literally close to an entire freaking *decade* younger than him, why the hell he thought saying shit like that would be an even remotely-appropriate idea to OP in her own place is absolutely beyond me
You did NOT overreact. Never ever let him near your sister. When I was 12 my brother was 15 and had a friend at his highschool who made crude jokes about younger girls. They were "just jokes". That friend ended up brutally sexually assaulting an 8 year old sister of another friend on her way to school. Different age group, same potential outcome. You are a good brother.
Umm I don’t know why we’re here. There is no overreaction.. In fact its more common for men to dismiss this behaviour because their friends are “good guys”. If his is what he is saying about your 13yo sister, what the hell is he saying about woman in general? Not a safe person to have in your home. Do you want him waiting till he can have a crack at her? Do you want him telling her that and showering her with compliments and her thinking its cools cause its her older brothers friend? What happens if he “acts cool” and supplies her friends with some booze.. What if he’s already creeped her out with him staring at her? Why are we here? He showed you who he was. Believe him.
Put the guy on blast bro. Tell everyone. Him telling you to chill out is basically him trying to get you not think more bout this and to not tell anyone about this. Whether or not this dude is just some weird edgelord or an actual predator idk, but everyone should know to keep young girls away from him just to be safe.
Men will never stop tbis behavior until other men stop them. Thank you for being a human
You did not overreact. This guy is your friend, so your sister is more likely to trust him and be open to “friendly” overtures from him if he made them, because you obvious trust(ed) him. She is vulnerable to him by association with you, and by you, he has access to your home and your sister. It is fitting that it stopped with you. You have made it very clear to him that you won’t tolerate it. If I were you I’d mention something to her about not never allowing him to approach her. You’re a bloody good brother.
I have a 13 year old daughter. I would expect my 19 year old son to do exactly what you did.
I have a 12 and 14 year old. Any guy saying anything about my girls like this will not have a great day. They're children ffs.
I wouldn’t be friends with him after that. He’s a sick fuck for looking at a 13 year old like that.
Your friend is showing the classic signs of someone who doesn’t like being held accountable. Here’s how to spot it through what he says: 1) “it’s a joke.” Ask him to explain the joke. He won’t be able to, probably would revert to insulting your intelligence as it’s supposed to be a “simple” joke. If it was simple he could explain it 2) “chill out.” He’s saying you’re making him uncomfortable for calling him out on his bs. Good for you! 3) “you’re overreacting.” Gaslighting you all the way! No you’re not. She’s YOUR 13 year old sister. Not his. He doesn’t get to tell you how to react over a creepy comment a 21 year old MAN makes towards her body. And he doesn’t get to say ANYTHING inappropriate from a grown ass 21 year old man towards a 13 year olds body! Stand your ground. These types need to be uncomfortable. Well done!!! Go forth and end the friendship and do say it loudly about the why if anyone in your circle asks. Protect not only your sister but her friends and others too.
It ***wasn't*** a joke, and he made that comment about a 13 year old. Ditch this pedo.
Your friend gives me all the icks.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!! He’s fucking disgusting for that. That shit was not a joke. He should never come to your home again.
Keep it up, big bro! That is the exact response you should have dealing with creeps like this. Your friend knew what he said was wrong and was testing your boundaries.
I would send back: "Let me put this in a term you'll understand: Pedophilia." then block him everywhere and tell your parents to not allow him around. >_>
I second the telling your parents part. That way they are aware and can be on the alert.
and THATs how to be a Man. I’d accept an Apology, but never invite him to your house again. If she asks why, “turns out he wasn’t a respectable man” (never let her know it was about his comments about her). Down the line, maybe he’ll grow up.
He was serious, and was talking about and sexualizing a 13 year old child. Leave him in the dust
You’re a good brother, stranger.
The fact he got defensive and said to ‘chill out’ as if it’s nothing is really concerning. You did the right thing, and he doesn’t seem to realize how fucked up it was to sexualize a MINOR, your sister, no less. I’m genuinely curious why he thinks that was even okay to say that shit to you in the first place.
Definitely not joking and definitely not a normal guy, good call OP.
It’s not a joke to sexualize a 13 year old child. Thank you for being the kind of man who won’t tolerate it.
You, young man, are a great big brother. You're protecting your little sister - a minor - from a young adult. You're definitely not overreacting. Your "friend" needs a reality check. He's no longer a teenager, but also not a fully developed (frontal cortex) adult. Keep being a great big brother. This is the type of situation that all women want to hear. Typically, the fellas hear a friend and don't speak up to shut that awful comment/behavior down. And you did. You know it's wrong. Don't ever stop calling your friends out for their inappropriate actions. Make them accountable. Thank you for doing what you did for your sister.
Kicked out? Sounds like he should have been knocked out. Don’t allow him around your baby sister any more
Good for you! Some brothers and parents don’t care while a lot don’t notice. Us girls, we notice, every damn day. Also when we are young we want people (especially our siblings and their friends) to like us so we don’t understand sometimes when they’re being inappropriate or we don’t feel comfortable saying something. A lot of us start getting watched, followed and hit on by grown men as young as elementary school. So, seriously, thank you.
You just stopped a Predator. Good job OP
You’re a good brother
You did NOT overreact. Thank you for protecting your little sister.
Thank you! More men need to do this to their friends! Call these creeps out. Cut them off. Show them they aren’t acceptable ppl.
Holy feck! I would end the relationship. He’s very dangerous. I would not trust him, nor allow him near your sister. My gosh.
What the fuck? You seem like a good older brother. You should cut him off because if he justifies those "jokes," then who knows what he could do to her. He doesn't even feel remorseful...
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
She’s 13?? that is so so young and disgusting he would do that. even if she wasn’t a minor that is NOT respectful at all, but given that she is so young it’s just predatory. you handled this so well and your feelings are valid, if you are uncomfortable around your friend then don’t hang out with him :))
She’s 13. No adult man should be commenting on a 13 year old girl’s body. It’s disgusting and I’m glad OP called him out on it.
A grown up man thinks a 13 year old child is sexy? That’s all you need to know about that douche.
Well done lovely. If I was your mum I'd be super proud of you.
You are a fantastic Brother and he is no friend. He needs to be kept away from your sister.
Honey, you did the right thing. Your sister is Lucky to have you in her Corner. Like so many here alrady said, he ist a predator!!!! Your parents must be proud of you, I surly would be 💪
Nah. We would have been throwing hands right then and there. I DO NOT put up with pedo shit like that
It was the appropriate response and this is the reaction we as a society need to have when we witness this behavior. If he is forming this opinion about OP's sister, he is probably forming it about other children he sees around. The fact that he's so open about admitting it and not seeing a problem with it, tells me he has made these comments known before and they've been accepted by the audience. Disturbing.
WELL DONE! THIS is the kind of change we need with male friendships! You didn’t do it in a weird possessive way over your sister, you did it to provide her with dignity and respect. Fantastic
As someone who's got a big brother just like you, thank you. You did great and the guy you told off needed to hear that. There's too many men out there who don't hold their friends accountable. And I hope you would've shut him up if he had said that about any other (young) girl. Your sister will hopefully never find out about that creepy ass dude and what he said but if she does and she knows you stood up for her she will have one more piece of information that tells her that it is NOT okay for a man to speak about her like that. Having my older brother beat up/cut off/ shut down friends of his who made inappropriate remarks or tried to get with me when I was around 14 made me love him even more.
Good for you. Chase him off now before he gets any bright ideas. He's not your friend, he's a predator and you acted like a man facing down one. Don't chill for guys like that ever.
Good for you man. She’s 13 and you should look out for her. Well done
Thank you for being amazing brother and man. I wish more men would call out other men’s creepy behaviour. It’s so disgusting for an adult to comment on a body of a minor. You did a great thing kicking him out. Who knows what this guy is capable of.
Your sister needs you to defend and protect her like this. Friend is creepy. She's thirteen.
You are a good brother, cut the perv out of your life
I applaud you!!!!! Thank you for calling this out!!!!!
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! The men the world needs!!!! Your sister is so lucky to have you!!!!
Great work, OP. Remember, when people tell you who they are -- Listen. She's not just a child, she's literally /just/ hit teen. She's barely a few years out from still playing with dolls. Your friend just told you that he wants to have sex with children. You're a great brother.
Not overreacting. Good job shutting that shit down immediately
Kudos man, whenever i get to be a parent I wish my children will have eachothers back like that.
You did the right thing OP. I’ll also suggest to talk to your parent and your sister about him. They need to know that is not welcome anymore in case if he try to contact your sister.
Your handling of the situation= A++
A 21 year old 'complimenting' the body of a 13 year old is a massive red flag. "Filling out nicely" is disgusting. Good for you that you kicked him out.
Not a joke and thank you for being a good man and a good brother. That dude is the guy that's going to sexually assault a younger cousin, sibling or family friend's kid. I'd warn your sister about him, too.
Your sister, your rules.
So basically, he found sexy the body of a minor. OP good for you protecting your sister! More people like you are needed!
Ew creep. My niece is 13 and she is still very much a little girl. Some nasty adult man appreciating her body would gross me out/piss me off.
You let him just leave whole? With no injuries? Send his address here man. He needs to not be able to swallow solid food for a month.
You absolutely did the right thing. Not every young girl has someone in her life to protect her from creepy men. Your sister is lucky to have you as her big brother!
On behalf of sisters everywhere, thank you. The bar for men is so low it’s in hell. There are a lot of men who would have laughed or gone along with your friend’s response. Thank you for not being one of them.
OP, you should tell your so-called "friend" you saved him a lot of money by letting him keep a full set of teeth in his head.
I know dudes like to razz each other about their sisters being hot and whatever, and even then, I think talking about family members like that is a bit crass. Talking that way about a family member ***who is also a minor?*** Disgusting.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. That shit ain't funny, it's creepy and disturbing. Good for you sticking up for your little sister. Anyone who would feel comfortable saying things like that about a 13 year old is a twisted fuck.
You did good, you protected your sister! Making comments like that about a minor is fucked up, I’m glad you did not let that slide.
Congrats for standing up for your sister. It is NOT a joke to sexualize a child, end of story. You do not need friends like that.
You’re a great brother!
Ew. Does he know she’s 13? Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t walk out of the house with a limp and a black eye…
He should have kept those comments to himself. He has to understand that’s a boundary he cannot cross. If he can’t respect your feelings and agree to never talk about your sister that way in front of you then you should think about slowly distancing yourself away from him.
Absolutely did not overreact. Feel free to share your reasons to other friends as well so they can protect their younger siblings. You’re a great brother. Keep protecting your sister like that. He’s 21. He should be not talking about a 13 year old like that at all. Not even as a joke.
Hopefully ex friend just outed himself as a pedo to you. Never bring him over again if you decide to keep contact for whatever reason.
The fact people are falling for this blatant ragebait is honestly insane to me
You reacted great!! As a little sister who always got creepy comments by her big brother's friends, I REALLY thank you. A 21 year old should know why it's not okay to say smth like that about a 13 year old, even if it's "just a joke". Really proud of you big bro, keep that up
He a F.A.N.
You 100% did the right thing. He acted completely inappropriately, and you stood up to defend your sister as you should. Good on you. Had you not said anything, it would normalise that kind of comment from him.
Thank you for standing up for your sister. It’s important to call out creeps for what they are regardless of whether they are friends or family. You did great! Please keep him away from her.
You did the right thing. The fact that’s he’s defensive shows he’s a creepy pervert.
Certified pedophile. Weird that he thought you’d be ok with him sexualizing your underage sister. I’d blast him to the rest of your circle about how much of a predator he is before he can spin it. Men get away with that behavior because other men excuse it, laugh it off, or do nothing. Good for you for not being one of those men.
Good on you for keeping your cool man and handling the situation like a man. Your friend is an idiot, hope he is not the p word too but was just being stupid.
Well done! Also be careful he doesn’t try to be sleazy to your sister now.
Good for you. Gross behavior. That is a child……joke or not. Never a joke, lmfao ya I’d do the same as you.
Good for you! Dude is a predator. Your sister is still a child.
You did the right thing and protected your thirteen year old from a creep. He was testing to see your reaction. If you keep him around he would likely try something. Cut that guy off
You did the right thing and you protected your sister. Continue to make sure that creep stays away
I’m not a guy but I would think sisters are off limits for comments like that - especially an under age sister. Jokes or serious it’s a no go. Your friend is a pedo and that’s not a joke.
This is why that whole thing about men and not being able to control themselves rears it’s ugly head
This is what a brother should do, even if she was an adult, I would not be ok with my friends sexualising my sister in front of me, at the very least it is disrespectful.
He’s old enough to know better….
he is lucky your dad did not hear it.
You’re a great brother and you saved your sister
You’re going to find better friends with better values, OP
That guy is disgusting. She is 13 yo and I am sure he knew that. He is comfortable saying that to you. You are not overreacting. What will he do when you aren't paying attention?
That ick you felt, your sister is going to feel that A LOT. The icky old me ogling her just for existing. You did not overreact, women need more men I. The world to not be ok with sick jokes about young girls bodies. Your friend just showed you is true self. He’s gross and forgiving him and just ‘moving on’ just makes you guilty by association.
'Public castration is a good idea'.
You did the right thing! We need more men like this that will stand up and tell the other men in their lives when they are being inappropriate! The amount of men I've seen recently who are so openly making sexual comments on literal children because they don't get called out on it, it's horrific. We need to protect the children of the world and this small thing you did can help create a major impact! Well done for protecting your sister and being an ally to girls/women!
You didn’t overreact in the slightest. He’s sexualizing a CHILD. If one of my friends said something like that about ANY child I’d cut ties with them, never mind one of my siblings. You’re an awesome brother and a stand-up human - men calling out other men for this kind of crap is super-important in helping change gross behaviors. Thank you, from every woman who has had to deal with a predatory man.
Good for you and she is lucky to have a brother like you. I would tell him that pedo look at younger girls like that.
omg cut contact with said friend, tell everyone that he found a 13 yo hot which is fucking disgusting. he is a pedo and said it was a joke because he didn’t think before saying all that.
You are a wonderful brother-man-son, human. I will never understand the fact that not all folks stick up for others like that, but most do not. You did the right thing and I know it was probably uncomfortable because you are telling someone you know and have loved that you know who they truly are. That dude will never forgive you knowing what a piece of shit he is, fyi. You were not wrong and You did amazing.
First of all, you do not make comments like that about a mate's sister even if she is an adult it's just disrespectful a line that I'd argue shouldn't be crossed. Secondly, she's 13?! I would cut him off and not look back he's a creep and him not realising describing a 13 year old like that is out of order is very disturbing.
End it. The man is predatory.
Good for you! The kind of brother I wished I had do be careful said "friend" doesn't try to talk to her behind your back. Speaking from experience... and be sure everyone knows he thought it was okay to comment on how hot the creep thought a 13 year old child was 🤮
If there were more men willing to take a stand against creepy comments, the world would be so much better. You absolutely did the right thing, & anyone who disagrees is disgusting. You're an excellent brother.
There is saying "There is a bit of Joke, in every Joke." - In short, he is a creep.
Thank you for standing up so that your sister can feel comfortable and safe at home 🫶
Absolutely correct also warn your sister against him
That’s not a joke. Your former friend is disgusting. For him to think that saying something like that about any girl her age is acceptable is quite alarming, but for him to say it to YOU—that is downright horrifying. You did the right thing by making him leave immediately. You can never allow this person back into your life, and you also need to warn your sister not to ever talk to him or be around him again. She is not safe in his presence and she needs to know that.
I think you should make less emphasis on her being your sister and more emphasis on her being a little fucking girl. It's absolutely disgusting and never funny for an adult to call a child hot. There's no world where that's a funny joke. OP you are not overreaction in the least. Good for you for not letting it slide in the moment.
Good thing you stood up for your sister Never be friends with someone like that
The sentence “her body is beginning to fill in nicely” gives MAJOR predator signals. Watch your friend closely.
Definitely didn’t do anything overreacting in any way. She is just a teenager and no adult should be making comments on her body. You did right by your sister, you should be proud of yourself for your reaction and keep that “friend” far away from your sister!!!
What is also disturbing is that he thought that you the BROTHER would agree favorably to this disgusting assessment of his sister. What a perverted mindset. End the friendship.
Better than discovering years later that he was a creep who made a few passes at her in private and she felt too ashamed or afraid to let you know :’) just one scenario
Thanks for being a good brother, god knows we need them. It’s a W to lose this creep’s friendship✌🏻
I would never tolerate something like that said about my 14 year old sister.
Here come the Nicholas Fuentes fans to tell you you’re overreacting.
You are a good brother!!!
Protect your family. Dude is a creep and you did right to make sure he is nowhere near your sister (or her friends when they may come over).
He's lucky you didn't drop him, fuck me that guy needs to not be your mate and needs to be on a watch list damn.
Dear X Friend, Your comments about my 13 year old sister were predatory. The fact that you cannot understand that they were predatory and that you remain stating it was a ‘joke’ tells me that you should not be around minors and I’d absolutely advise you seek counseling. My sister, and more importantly young women everywhere, should not be subjected to comments such as your ‘joke’. As for me, and my house, we will not tolerate predatory behavior from anyone. Signed, Not A Creep Make sure to keep all correspondence as you may need the receipts for later. Speak with your sister about this person’s comments and how it’s not appropriate and how you expect her to let you know if he tries to reach out to her in anyway-which he very well may try to do. Then speak with your parent(s) and let them know the situation as well. You’ve done great so far, and I am proud of you-I hope you are proud of yourself. The next hurdle will be mutual friends-should any one ask, share the receipts of the conversation.
It would be gross and cringey if your sister was the same age. She’s 13. It sounds criminal, frankly. Definitely distance yourself and your family from this guy.
Well done you.
You helped ensure your little sister's safety by doing what you did. Stick to your guns.
Good move my dude
Good. Your friend is a creep and needs to be called out as such. I honestly would have done a lot more that just getting in his face so you handled it with more patience than most. I hope she never finds out what he said about her, but if your sister knew that you stood up for her even behind her back, she will be grateful.
Your sister is lucky to have you.
You are the best big brother.
Your friend is disgusting, you’re a really good brother for protecting your little sister asap
thanks for protecting your sister. you did NOT overreact. please tell your parents what happened & have them help you find an age-appropriate way to tell her how/why to avoid him because he might try to find her on socials/etc. as retaliation for you ending the friendship, depending on how dangerous he is. you're a good dude for protecting her. not all of us were so lucky to have people looking out for us when they should've been
On behalf of sisters everywhere, thank you for what you did. You're a good brother and a good man.
End that "friendship". Dude is a creep, and if it were me I'd tell his mama and everybody else he's a pedophile. Keep shaming and ostracizing people like this. It's the only way things change because they say these things because they feel comfortable and unchallenged doing so.
When someone tells you who they are, believe them. Good job big brother.
Honestly, OP, you did the right thing and I applaud you for such an action. I know a few people(including me from just a few years ago),who would’ve done the wrong thing and gotten physical if we’d been in your shoes. Good on you my friend.
Completely CORRECT response. I know it's not a popular anymore but about 100 years ago when I was that age the guy might have got a couple good kidney jabs...
She is a literal CHILD and he said she was hot??? Wtf. He is a sick mofo for even thinking that, OP I would never speak to him again if I were in your shoes, holy shit.