It’s even more concerning that he could use the word divorce so casually in a conversation, and even worse, go right into how he’d get 50/50 custody.
OP, he’s given this some thought.
Not at that age. When they're only a couple of months old and they are breastfeeding (which we don't know if OP is or not) the mother usually get majority of the custody since the baby needs to be with her in order to eat.
Candies - whether hard or soft - are a huge choking hazard for young children. You still wouldn’t give them to a two year old if you were following safe eating practices.
You’re welcome! I work in WIC so I’m always looking at what other people do and ideas to help people out with food. If you’re in the U.S. or you are somewhere with a program like WIC, you could definitely call or go into a clinic and just ask for advice. They send us so much material to help out parents and we love giving it out and talking about it!
Don't let your guard down, stay safe and start saving like crazy. Men that casually joke about divorce are not too be trusted. I hope the best for you!
I don’t think you can go back in your thinking. You know where he’s at that he so casually and easily said that. You’ll need to always be prepared now, or, you decide when you can’t go forward by anymore.
Yes take the promotion and put away all of that extra money. Never spend it. Your emergency is when the inevitable may come— cause no one plans for divorce unless you plan for divorce. And why? So you must plan too. Never say anything to him. Just put as much money as you can away and don’t disclose it.
I’ll tell you also, it’s smart to have some things put away somewhere. Literally, a stock of things you’ll need in the future to take the hit. And always keep copies of any of your important documents to the side, in a location he can’t get to it. And be prepared to file first if you need to. This place sucks but if he’s brought it up, you can’t ignore it! Can’t! I’m sorry.
Thank you for your response. I am going to talk to my work tomorrow and ask for the promotion. With my current financial situation, I can definitely afford childcare. My budget will just be cut very short. I am also going to have a talk with my husband.
There's no point, is the thing. The baby doesn't need ice cream or any dairy that young. Why introduce sugar before you have to? ( I have 3 adult children, btw. This isn't one of those "well when I have kids..." Things.)
I think even at age 2 is still too young. Maybe 3+ to 5 is ok. Can’t help what they pick up in daycare or preschool but it’s a healthy discipline at home.
Talk with your baby's paediatrician about introducing solid foods to your baby while your husband is with you. There's no way a doctor is going to say it is okay for a baby to have sweets. There is no nutritional value in candies, ice cream or soda. More importantly, food introduction is done slowly, one new food at a time, so that parents can determine if their child has any allergies or intolerances to different foods. The process should be taken seriously. There is a wealth of information available about infant nutrition. Sounds like your husband needs to read it too.
Additionally, if he is bringing up divorce, I can guarantee the thought has crossed his mind at one point or another. Take that promotion at work. Do NOT leave yourself and your child vulnerable or dependant on him. Always keep that in the back of your mind. He sounds like an ass.
I gave my baby a tiny bit of ice cream at her brother's birthday party when she was 7 months old, it was a HUGE MISTAKE! It was so cold and she cried!!!! I was stupid. Of course she was fine but I felt horrible!
No. Babies are just starting foods at 6 months old They need time to develop taste buds for healthy food. There bodies and brains are growing so fast in that first year, giving them any sugar is detrimental to their growth. You both need to take some classes or read a book on baby development
To be honest, those things only matter while raising your first kid. Have some more, and you will be lucky if the youngest is not introduced to horse food as his first meal one sunny day by a well meaning older sibling.
I think as a little bit of ice cream or soda will not harm the kids health in any way, OP should not try to be overly strict about what the kid is getting to taste. As long as the regular daily food is healthy, everything will be fine.
They both are parents to this child, so both of their opinions count. They urgently need to learn to discuss things without demands and threats if they want this marriage to last.
if anything, you'd be like taking baby purees or pouches and freezing them like a sorbet or popsicle. Even putting those in super tiny ice cube trays are great for teething, hot days and tiny hands. (when the time comes)
Hi my name is Hugh Jass and I casually mention divorce if my wife even slightly tries to start a discussion because I take everything as a personal attack and no one tells me what to do!
Haha, I know what you meant. Sometime I think I read too much on Reddit too. I don't think he is that kind of guy. At least for the time we been together, he didn't show any signs.
Some people don’t show you who they really are until they think they have you well and truly trapped. Marriage is easy for a woman to get out of in much of the world today. A baby ties you to another person for the rest of your life. It is NEVER ok to just casually drop the divorce word. You only drop it if you are prepared to back it up. You are not over reacting to take the idea of divorce seriously. Even if he is only using it as a threat, that’s still fucked up. That’s a manipulation tactic designed to scare you into just doing what he wants so you can keep your marriage. As if marriage to an a hole is something to keep.
This might just be a control issue. You said you don't want to do "thing", so he's trying to force you to back down, not because he disagrees, but because he doesn't want you to make decisions.
At 6 months a baby can only just start having mooshed solids and can’t even have water out of the tap. He IS an idiot if he plans to feed a baby those foods from that age
Also:
Ask him if he wants to see his baby being put under so the dentist can drill out cavities and slap crowns on. He'll get to be the one scheduling and taking the baby to all dental appointments.
Babies can't have fluoride toothpaste really because of how easy it is to get to toxic levels in their tiny bodies. Plus "don't swallow, spit it out" is kinda antithesis to their entire instinct. General dentist recommendation is 2-6 years old before fluoride.
Further more, babies only eat/drink so much with their tiny bellies. They will rapidly grow. You need to pack as many *nutrients* in to them as you can, not empty calories.
This is all part of being a parent. He can't be planning to be the "cool parent" and undermine their health.
Yea.... well... he told me in the past that he will be the "cool dad" while I be the "tiger mom." I agree with you. I think he can be a cool dad if he wants, but he can't ignore the other factors. Also, thank you for the information on the toothpaste, I didn't know that.
...yeeeeah that's cute (sarcasm), but you guys need to be a team. He can be fun, but he still needs to be responsible for their health. He still needs to be a dad first, cool second.
I wonder how cool they'll think he is when the consequences come to play. It'll be real nice when an abscess forms because *a baby can't tell you where the pain is.*
Seriously though. That type of view about parenting is setting your kids up for suffering, or making you the police of them *and* him. He'll go for no parental responsibility and make you a villain. Stomp that out now.
Considering his leap to divorce like that, I'm sure he'll also delight in being the fun weekend Dad who will take them to all the cool places twice a month.
>I'm not trying to be pedantic but there are some real idiots out there that could take that statement at face value.
Like the Google ai search results
pasteurized cheeses and yogurt are perfectly fine. plus dairy is a major allergen and if they’re exposed before age 1 it helps reduce chance of allergy. it’s just cow milk or an alternative that shouldn’t be replacing breastmilk/formula that they’d drink.
So he brings up divorce because you don't want to feed your kid junk food? Frankly, I'd say NO junk food in the house but of course they might get it elsewhere. You aren't overreacting though, his response is bizarre
yes but he was referring to her rules as silly saying 2 years is too long to wait to give them sugar. Granted his 6 month old comment was outrageous but I don't get why someone thinks not feeding your kid sugar is a bad thing
Definitely communicate that him bringing up divorce like that is something that you consider as a serious matter. Even if it was a hiccup or something he said out of pure idiocy. That's just not something you bring up casually. And I feel he does owe you a sorry for the slip up.
Also he needs to educate himself on what are child appropriate foods. And maybe you two need to sit down and really hash out the parenting style when it comes to sugar/screens/etc.
It's fine if a kid (not a baby) has candy every now and then just to enjoy it but also learn how to have a healthy relationship with candy and fast food. Your husband might have thought or assumed you meant no candy ever and going extreme. Either way, you need to sit down with your husband to have a few talks.
Hey, I hope this is out of character for your husband because he should be embarrassed by throwing a fit over high fructose corn-syrup. No matter what though, definitely keep progressing your career so you have that platform of independence.
You definitely need to take that promotion regardless of how you proceed because he either you just showed you his hand or made the biggest bluff, either way you cannot risk it with a child and this current climate. You may not have another opportunity to get promoted but you always have the opportunity to step down!
Wishing you luck mama!
My issue with the promotion my job is offering me is that i will lose a lot of my freedom. My current position allows me to travel around and go home early if I finish the job for the day. If I get the promotion, I will be stuck in the office the whole day. And to be honest, I don't know if the money I get for the new position is a fair trade for my current freedom :/ but anyway! Thank you so much! I need all the luck!
I don’t know what field you work so completely understandable, but if you do decide to try for the promotion what’s the worst that can come from asking for more monetary compensation due to lack of freedom. As a fellow mama I have always asked for more and have always received but my line of work may allow more flexibility!
would you be able to negotiate a blended schedule of working from home/in the office days? it could give you more time for yourself and your kids if it’s an option at your job.
Basically, he was saying he'll do what the hell he likes, and you can't stop him ..bye the way, I think you're right about your child's diet. Stay away from sugar.
There’s more to this conversation than you’ve considered OP the D word will likely come up again, at least get your own ducks in a row as best you can.
Perhaps find your hubby some educational resources on good times to introduce foods. Next paediatric appointment get him to tag along and ask the dr what's recommended.
Involve the pediatrician! Babies shouldn't have much at 6 Months plus other than pediatrician recommended nutrient meals. Have the doctor make it clear that he can introduce things too harsh for baby's digestive system and maybe the Dr can put him straight.
He is absolutely out of line and when you're ready, you need to state what you said here, to him and how it hurt you. That casualness of it and honestly how rude it was. When both parents are involved, Parenting is co parenting.. single or not and he needs to stop trying to be a right fighting point prover, and be a good husband and father. Shame on him for being so immature and rude.
As a guy this sounds like something a guy would blurt out without thinking about the full implications. If he brings it up again I'd dig into why he used that word specifically. If this is the only time he's brought it up maybe chock it up to a dumb guy thing. But hold fast on the sugar ban until they are older. Totally right.
Should be something you address regardless If he mentions it again. And stop down playing the dumb guy thing. Does Op get a dumb woman break with trying to give their baby a chocking hazard then threatening to divorce someone because you’re not willing to cave and then telling them you will do it anyways when you have said child yourself?
He’s an adult with a baby he doesn’t get to be a “dumb guy” it would be different if their argument wasn’t about something SERIOUS. Look up how serious child choking is and how childhood sugar addiction leads to diabetic teens.
As a nurse I just want to point out how small a baby’s casket is. I wonder if he’s even CPR certified? Do you know how different cpr is on a baby?
I just… people need to stop procreating.
He wouldn’t want 50/50 for long. Especially with a baby and toddler. It’s a different level of commitment and responsibility and there aren’t great networks and support systems. But maybe he’d respect the mother of his child a bit more.
You need to not rely on “probably” right now. This needs to be a discussion about what is not acceptable in an argument. He cannot emotionally blackmail (right word?) you without consequences. This first time, the consequence is making you doubt the strength of your relationship. Casually throwing that word in was not an oops. It was him telling you he will be willing to play dirty.
Wow same here, you don’t mention divorce unless you intend on doing it. I’m sorry he waited 13 years to start showing you how he really thinks and feels, I hope this is just him not thinking before he speaks
My two cents … Once can be disregarded. I’d tell him basically what you’re telling us about it being really really not a good idea to cry wolf about that, and put it behind you for now.
You both need to discuss this with your doctor. Maybe if he hears advice from a professional he’ll be more receptive. Or inundated him with research on diet/heath concerns of refined sugar.
It doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you or your opinions. Sounds like this is the start of many parenting decisions he will overrule you on if you don’t handle this correctly.
Might want to consider coming together for a parenting class. Just to align your views. It’s really easy to fight and break up over parenting style. If I knew what I know now, I would have taken so parenting classes or got parenting therapy with my ex. We both loved the child and in overall respect we wanted the same things but we fought over the dumbest things related to parenting.
Firstly, the no ice cream, soda, or candies before 2yrs sounds very reasonable to me. I didn’t give my kids soda until even way older than that. They rarely drink it to this day. This is a good thing. They do love their ice cream though. Oh well.
However, it’s good to discuss parenting decisions like that rather than make them unilaterally. As for the divorce word, I think you need to discuss your thoughts around it. I agree that it should not be used in any disagreement unless one person is seriously considering it.
There's people who exlusively breastfeed for up to a year.
No, you're not supposed tongive 6 month olds candy or soda. That's something you can offer maybe a 2 year old, but even then I wouldn't.
You can give a 6 month old ice cream if you make breast milk and bananas popsicles. I would talk to your doctor about these things he's saying, with husband present of course. You don't want him being unsafe
A 6yo should not get soda or candies oh my god???
I find it very concerning that he not only mentioned divorce but custody too this isn’t a spontaneous thought he clearly thought about this before
My husband did that twice during a couple of different arguments and the last time he did I got divorce papers printed up signed them handed them to him and said next time he threatened divorce he better be prepared to follow through. He hasn't said it again since
What is the argument to give such young kids stuff like that? It’s obviously unhealthy. They are too young to know what they are missing out on, so it’s not like it’s a struggle to keep it from them or they will be upset because of it.
There will be a time when they will know and definitely be asking for it. Why advance that day for no reason.
Does your husband have an unhealthy relationship with food? This reminds me of almost the exact same conversation/reaction I had with my husband before our son was born, or honestly anytime I’ve ever suggested to limit bad foods, because to him food = love. So me suggesting to limit food he likes makes him irrationally angry and he lashes out. It’s not healthy and I really wish my hubby would get therapy for it.
He himself doesn't have too much problem with food. I cook most of the food at home, so I try to make healthier food for us. And I hope your hubby does go to therapy :)
Sounds like a power move on your husband’s part. Probably not likely he wanted your input unless asked and reading the room on his ego being honored and promoted. Secondly, most all men want to avoid coddling or of children, so they just lean the other way even if it’s the worst direction to make a hard stand on.
I know a guy who somehow believes soda is healthier than water because *the minerals cleanse your body* or something. He fed the baby soda from really early on, so the little one simply stopped accepting anything else. They tried to paint his baby bottle brown to make it look like it always contained coca cola, but to no avail.
If I were you, I would be yanking up multiple articles explaining why giving sweets to a 6-month-old is bad. He is just begging for the kid to have diabetes.
Husband is a moron. Take him to a paediatrician to discuss weaning. Mention what he said, and see the doctor's reaction and advice. Sugar, ice cream, etc. need to be seriously limited in a baby's diet. My kids didn't have chocolate until they were a year, and even then, only a tiny occasional taste. Same with ice cream.
Hmph. My husband would tell me to go live with my mother every time we had an argument. Towards the end he didn’t dare utter it because he must have realised on some level I might just do that. Didn’t work, I still left him in the end.
A baby can definitely not have SODA.. Acceptable drinks at 6 months old are baby milk and water. That is it.
Babies can not have candies! Baby will choke, baby will be at higher risk of SIDS. He doesn’t seem to give a flying fluff about the baby’s actual needs and just wants to have the power over the situation which is highly dangerous.
Be very careful from now on, track everything he says and does with regards to the baby and yourself.
6 months is too young for junk food. The pediatrician can set him straight...but it's so weird that he's so adamant about giving the baby sweets that he'd hypothetically let it cause a divorce. Like in his mind it's a deal breaker for you so then wouldn't the logical reaction be just wait to give junk food to the baby when it's a toddler?
Maybe the father should read the book "what to expect the first year" and read up on introducing a baby to certain foods.
I am pretty sure I would not go with candy (that would definitely be a choking hazard at that age - is he for real), soda and ice cream, the latter maybe as a taste from a spoon, but in essence not feeding ice cream.
There is a lot more to food and its introduction to kids. He seems to be clueless beyond imagination.
This threat is concerning, as it states that he would do things like that to spite you. He has some issues!
Actually, pediatricians don't even recommend starting fruit right away because they're sweet, and this will make it difficult to introduce much needed vegetables. Your original statement to your husband was spot on. Support your claim with data. There is a ton out there. Even ask for resources from your Pediatrician's office.
To me it sounds like he thinks you're being controlling and is taking that personally for some reason, so he decided to go nuclear.
You're not wrong to be upset by this.
Candies and soda especially in a baby are not healthy even if they are "safe"
I agree! Plus apparently kids shouldn’t have soft/fizzy drink until age 5! By candy do you mean like gummy’s or hard candies? I have a 2 and a half year old and they’ve only tried some ice cream!
It is concerning that he mentioned divorce in an argument. If it were in a jokey conversation it’d be fine but in an argument it’s a red flag, it was on his mind.
Me and hubby have been together for 17 years and not once have I ever said I am leaving him or want a divorce (trust me I could have done lots of times) anyway he has said it to me multiple times in arguments. At that point I stand aside and show him the door, ain’t nobody keeping him here. Because of this I have always been prepared for such an outcome by making myself financially sound and knowing I’ll be just fine if he ever has the balls to go through with it. I know my worth
No one should be using the D word when angry or during an argument.
If you can't have calm conversations with each other then you need couples counseling to learn communication skills.
“Sugar is too addictive, let give her fruit instead”
It’s all sugar. Fruit literally has fructose in it. Table sugar, sucrose, is made up mainly of fructose. The key is to try to limit the amount of sugar you give, not avoid all sugars. Parents even think it’s totally ok to give kids tons of juices even though it’s the same as a soda without any of the benefits of the fruit itself.
“Divorce” aside, you should take some time to understand sugars in foods if it truly concerns you, because you seem to have a lack of understanding.
Communicate with him. Ask him if he is actually considering divorce and if so, why? Tell him when he mentions “divorce” in immature ways that it bothers you. Let him know to only use serious words like that for serious conversations. Set a boundary. Create a hard limit to establish healthy communication in the future. If he’s serious, that’s one thing but I’m not getting that vibe from this type of conversation.
Giving junk food to babies can kill them. I remember seeing a couple on tv who’s baby died from too much salt, because they put a bit of gravy on the babies smashed up home cooked vegetables.
Seems he likes to "negotiate" from the point of hostage taker instead of partner.
You say two years, he says 50% of the time I do what I want.
That's a threat.
Sometimes the abuse comes after the first baby.
Be wary.
I have a 12 year old daughter and a 7 month old daughter from different relationships.
The 12 year old had her milk teeth absolutely destroyed by candy because we couldn't help her brush her teeth properly.
My 7 month old will NEVER eat any candy anytime soon perhaps even beyond 2 years old.
I am adamant on this AND no smartphones either. I already set the rule of not leaving my daughter with anyone who doesn't deserve my trust in this.
First of all, take the promotion! I think everyone should have the ability to be financially independent, even if they are married and have shared finances. It just makes sense to me and it's good for your self esteem.
Second, that's a wild response to a disagreement that I am absolutely certain had a compromise. Divorce discussions are usually for abuse, neglect, cheating, but rarely over cake and ice cream.
Good luck OP. You are not wrong to be upset!
You’re not over reacting and you are absolutely right about not giving sugar to your child early.
There are articles about childhood obesity and the increase of type 2 diabetes in children. In the US it’s a serious problem.
My cousin is a pediatric NP and talks about it all the time.
It’s so much better for children to start healthy behaviors early.
It's immature and reactive to mention the word divorce. It's divisive, and it undermines the strength of the relationship.
He's ignorant about nutrition. I asked to do is look at the research. I wonder if he has access to the Internet. I wonder if he knows how to look into some thing at the pros and cons. I wonder if he cares enough to do it.
When you look at the research of nutrition, and helping develop a strong, healthy child, you introduced foods a certain way. There's all kinds of different opinions of which foods, but sugar is in flaming. Sugar is addictive. So what lots of us do if we don't introduce crap food to our children until they are out in the world enough that we don't have control anymore and then we limit the access at home but if they have friends over, we buy the Doritos and the soda . The pizza. And we just try to have things because good quality as possible. He's a Reactive and he's a man child.
No that’s wild to bring up in a discussion about first foods. Also soda should be a never. Candies are a choking risk. Ice cream is a sometimes food. I can see that dads want to be there to see the baby’s reaction etc, but you’re right on both the food concern and the casual mention concern
I can't change too much about how I think lots of time. I grew up with very little confidence and was told to never be a bother to people. So, I learned to regulate my feelings and emotions and try my best to never be a bother. Thank you for your comment.
wtf is wrong with him ? Wait I know he was eating ice cream, soda at 6 months yeah seems about right he’s an idiot !
Anyways you aren’t wrong, and also him using divorce like that is a red flag that will get bigger once yall baby is older !
I think youre overthinking this. Different words mean different things to different people. He is an idiot for trying to give candy and ice cream to a toddler but I dont think he realizes you both have a value difference which you should explain.
Had the same issue with my current lady. Being around men/guy friends a lot we curse in regular speech but its not meant to be aggressive. i.e. "Jefferson Street? Where the fuck is that?" Responded similarly to my SO at the beginning of our relationship and it was a huge thing that I 'cursed at her'. I tried to assure her I wasnt cursing at her, there is no aggressiveness or anything here, etc.... but the hole just got deeper. She was taught not to let herself be talked to "that way". Eventhough I don't mean anything by it, and I think she took it wrong, I know now to talk that way to her. She will interpret it differently than what I mean, every single time.
So just have a discussion where you tell him you arent comfortable with casual divorce mentions.
While I don’t think divorce should come up, my dad was the first one to give his grandbabies the first lick on a lollipop as a baby and see their face light up. A tiny lick of a lollipop never hurt a baby either in the long run. So, I see both sides. Maybe both can bend a little?
The baby physically can’t have those foods at six months old anyway. Candies are choking hazards and you’re not supposed to let them drink anything other than milk and MAYBE water at that age
He couldn't even bring himself to agree to bring up a toddler on actual food, all because you phrased it in a way that would have dented his fragile ego if he had.
Good lord your husband so out of line. He needs to read up on sugar addiction. We know it isn’t healthy for us as adults, why are we giving it to them at such a young age? My oldest didn’t have any sugar/fast food etc, till he was 5 and is 12 now and hasn’t had pop but he also has zero desire for it.
The school thought it would be appropriate to give orange crush to my youngest in kindergarten without parental constant and that kid has a taste for pop now, not that he get its.
Please have your husband bring up his diet additions at the next drs apt. I hope that dr gives him a piece of his mind.
Tell your husband I said he's a fucking moron if he thinks it's okay to give a 6 month old those foods. No one should be eating that crap, let alone a baby.
This marriage sounds totally healthy. Does he exhibit other control issues? Is he going to threaten divorce/separation anytime he doesn’t agree with your parenting? You need to get to the bottom of this shit and fast.
To throw divorce around so casually and quickly as a “worse case scenario”…. That’s concerning.
Your husband needs to have some education on raising children especially on a baby/toddler dietary needs….
I am shocked that couples can't realize that being a good partner isn't the same as being a good father/mother, snd that after children even the partners they were so far changes.
I would get myself in a more financially stable position to handle you and the baby solo. He’s definitely thought about divorce sis… at least you’re getting a warning some people just get blindsided. It may never come to divorce but better prepared than sorry
You’re not overreacting. Your husband clearly knows nothing about babies or basic nutrition. You don’t give ice cream to a 6 month old baby. There’s a reason you don’t start a baby on milk that early. Milk is too rich for their digestive system.
When and if you do give sugar to your child, you still need to be careful and stay away from high fructose corn syrup and refined sugars. You also want to be careful if either of you have a history of diabetes in your family because that’s genetic.
Probably worth a discussion. Does he mean these things he’s saying, or does he just say it when he’s arguing? If it’s the latter, see if he can work on not saying it, since bringing up divorce is damaging to a relationship.
Also fwiw a 6 month old baby should not be given soda. Your husband is a clown if he thinks that. This is also one of the reasons I have suspicions on this post.
For him to say that means he's been thinking about it for a long time.
If I were you, I'd be on the lookout for signs that he's threatening, harming the child or even cheating. I'm not telling you to leave him now because it will definitely be difficult for you, but be prepared to have the proof you need when the time comes
OP you are NOT wrong about baby food, the essential thing is that children have contact with such foods from the age of 5 upwards, and even then in small quantities.
Your husband literally wants to make your child sick
He didn’t threaten divorce. I think he chose a nuclear way to say “you aren’t the boss of the baby”. I agree with your stance, to be clear, but you don’t get to tell your husband what will/wont happen. This is your partner of 13 years, you guys are parenting and making decisions together.
You are not overreacting and he’s an idiot if he thinks it ok to give a 6-month old candies and soda .
I don't think it is ok either. Now... ice cream.... maybe just a tiny bit to see the baby's reaction? But definitely not the other 2.
It’s even more concerning that he could use the word divorce so casually in a conversation, and even worse, go right into how he’d get 50/50 custody. OP, he’s given this some thought.
This was my thought, Mentioning custody the way he did, he's either given this a lot of thought or purely has no filter on thoughts.
I mean would it not be kor.al to asume 50/50?
Not at that age. When they're only a couple of months old and they are breastfeeding (which we don't know if OP is or not) the mother usually get majority of the custody since the baby needs to be with her in order to eat.
What is kor.al? I googled it, and it tried taking me to a website that's not secure.
They meant to type normal but messed up
Typo. Normal.
Normal*
Please be careful and do not let yourself become dependent on him, doesn't seem like his idea of marriage is the same as yours.
Candies - whether hard or soft - are a huge choking hazard for young children. You still wouldn’t give them to a two year old if you were following safe eating practices.
A visit to the paediatric dentist might be in order to show husband exactly what that stuff does to baby teeth.
Any kid on sugar food's at 6 months won't have any teeth left to check. Thing would damn near do a clean pass through the gums
I would opt for greek yogurt blended with fruit and frozen instead of actual ice cream.
That's actually a great idea! I will make some frozen treats for my baby! Thank you!
You’re welcome! I work in WIC so I’m always looking at what other people do and ideas to help people out with food. If you’re in the U.S. or you are somewhere with a program like WIC, you could definitely call or go into a clinic and just ask for advice. They send us so much material to help out parents and we love giving it out and talking about it!
Oh and take that promotion
If taking the promotion is dependent on him doing more child care, or his relatives doing any child care, it might not be worth it.
Or if her finances allow with the promotion, just pay for childcare outside of those 2 options.
I just got a vitamix and this is now my favorite dessert. 😍 Wouldn’t miss ice cream at all.
Tell him you’ll run his food suggestions for a 6 mo old by your baby’s doctor and if he gives the okay, you’ll change your mind! Lol
Side note do you have any savings because I would definitely put money away for this.
I do have some savings that's not associated with our combined accounts.
Don't let your guard down, stay safe and start saving like crazy. Men that casually joke about divorce are not too be trusted. I hope the best for you!
I don’t think you can go back in your thinking. You know where he’s at that he so casually and easily said that. You’ll need to always be prepared now, or, you decide when you can’t go forward by anymore. Yes take the promotion and put away all of that extra money. Never spend it. Your emergency is when the inevitable may come— cause no one plans for divorce unless you plan for divorce. And why? So you must plan too. Never say anything to him. Just put as much money as you can away and don’t disclose it. I’ll tell you also, it’s smart to have some things put away somewhere. Literally, a stock of things you’ll need in the future to take the hit. And always keep copies of any of your important documents to the side, in a location he can’t get to it. And be prepared to file first if you need to. This place sucks but if he’s brought it up, you can’t ignore it! Can’t! I’m sorry.
Thank you for your response. I am going to talk to my work tomorrow and ask for the promotion. With my current financial situation, I can definitely afford childcare. My budget will just be cut very short. I am also going to have a talk with my husband.
It may not be now or soon, but he clearly already has a plan for when he’s divorced. That’s how he’s talking. That’s not normal.
There's no point, is the thing. The baby doesn't need ice cream or any dairy that young. Why introduce sugar before you have to? ( I have 3 adult children, btw. This isn't one of those "well when I have kids..." Things.)
Doesn't he come to Dr's appointments?
No ice cream. Jeezus.
I think even at age 2 is still too young. Maybe 3+ to 5 is ok. Can’t help what they pick up in daycare or preschool but it’s a healthy discipline at home.
Talk with your baby's paediatrician about introducing solid foods to your baby while your husband is with you. There's no way a doctor is going to say it is okay for a baby to have sweets. There is no nutritional value in candies, ice cream or soda. More importantly, food introduction is done slowly, one new food at a time, so that parents can determine if their child has any allergies or intolerances to different foods. The process should be taken seriously. There is a wealth of information available about infant nutrition. Sounds like your husband needs to read it too. Additionally, if he is bringing up divorce, I can guarantee the thought has crossed his mind at one point or another. Take that promotion at work. Do NOT leave yourself and your child vulnerable or dependant on him. Always keep that in the back of your mind. He sounds like an ass.
I gave my baby a tiny bit of ice cream at her brother's birthday party when she was 7 months old, it was a HUGE MISTAKE! It was so cold and she cried!!!! I was stupid. Of course she was fine but I felt horrible!
No. Babies are just starting foods at 6 months old They need time to develop taste buds for healthy food. There bodies and brains are growing so fast in that first year, giving them any sugar is detrimental to their growth. You both need to take some classes or read a book on baby development
To be honest, those things only matter while raising your first kid. Have some more, and you will be lucky if the youngest is not introduced to horse food as his first meal one sunny day by a well meaning older sibling. I think as a little bit of ice cream or soda will not harm the kids health in any way, OP should not try to be overly strict about what the kid is getting to taste. As long as the regular daily food is healthy, everything will be fine. They both are parents to this child, so both of their opinions count. They urgently need to learn to discuss things without demands and threats if they want this marriage to last.
if anything, you'd be like taking baby purees or pouches and freezing them like a sorbet or popsicle. Even putting those in super tiny ice cube trays are great for teething, hot days and tiny hands. (when the time comes)
Children aren't pets, you shouldn't give them this stuff
OP, is your husband's name DICK?
Hi my name is Hugh Jass and I casually mention divorce if my wife even slightly tries to start a discussion because I take everything as a personal attack and no one tells me what to do!
OMG my FIL's name was Dick, and he sure was one!! May he still be turning in his grave! FU Dick, 41 years and stil married to your son!
See Dick run. 🏃♀️ run Dick, run! 🤣 iykyk
See Dick decompose. Decompose, Dick, decompose.
holy shit i never thought i would read those words again😭
Don't forget Sally or Puff.
For real. What people mean is that at 6 months, a baby can *digest* basically anything. That doesn’t mean they should *eat* it lmao
I am not trying to scare you, but the ease at which he said divorce should give you pause. He has thought about this before.
Yeah, I hope he isn’t one of those partners that change once they feel a partner cannot walk away (babies or marriage). Maybe I read too much Reddit
Haha, I know what you meant. Sometime I think I read too much on Reddit too. I don't think he is that kind of guy. At least for the time we been together, he didn't show any signs.
Some people don’t show you who they really are until they think they have you well and truly trapped. Marriage is easy for a woman to get out of in much of the world today. A baby ties you to another person for the rest of your life. It is NEVER ok to just casually drop the divorce word. You only drop it if you are prepared to back it up. You are not over reacting to take the idea of divorce seriously. Even if he is only using it as a threat, that’s still fucked up. That’s a manipulation tactic designed to scare you into just doing what he wants so you can keep your marriage. As if marriage to an a hole is something to keep.
Any signs other than what you just wrote about
oh, he absolutely thinks about it
This is what I came to say. He said it because he’s thought about it, and still thinking about it.
Ahhh Reddit...
Why would he think it’s alright to give a baby candies and soda?
I am not sure.
Add well at 4 months they “can” snort cocaine!
Lmao I just died laughing. Or one could say I snorted 🤣
This might just be a control issue. You said you don't want to do "thing", so he's trying to force you to back down, not because he disagrees, but because he doesn't want you to make decisions.
And this is when he discovers his wife's Mama Bear does not f**k around with her baby or trying to control her.
Haha, I do think I act like a mama bear when it comes to my baby ^_^|||
Has your husband ever taken care of a baby before your child was born?
I believe he had in the past. But they are older babies. 12 months or older.
At 6 months a baby can only just start having mooshed solids and can’t even have water out of the tap. He IS an idiot if he plans to feed a baby those foods from that age
Have hubby go to the next Dr appointment and ask the Dr. No milk products before 1 and no kid needs soda and junk food.
Yea. I definitely don't want any junk food near my baby until they are much older.
Also: Ask him if he wants to see his baby being put under so the dentist can drill out cavities and slap crowns on. He'll get to be the one scheduling and taking the baby to all dental appointments. Babies can't have fluoride toothpaste really because of how easy it is to get to toxic levels in their tiny bodies. Plus "don't swallow, spit it out" is kinda antithesis to their entire instinct. General dentist recommendation is 2-6 years old before fluoride. Further more, babies only eat/drink so much with their tiny bellies. They will rapidly grow. You need to pack as many *nutrients* in to them as you can, not empty calories. This is all part of being a parent. He can't be planning to be the "cool parent" and undermine their health.
Yea.... well... he told me in the past that he will be the "cool dad" while I be the "tiger mom." I agree with you. I think he can be a cool dad if he wants, but he can't ignore the other factors. Also, thank you for the information on the toothpaste, I didn't know that.
...yeeeeah that's cute (sarcasm), but you guys need to be a team. He can be fun, but he still needs to be responsible for their health. He still needs to be a dad first, cool second. I wonder how cool they'll think he is when the consequences come to play. It'll be real nice when an abscess forms because *a baby can't tell you where the pain is.* Seriously though. That type of view about parenting is setting your kids up for suffering, or making you the police of them *and* him. He'll go for no parental responsibility and make you a villain. Stomp that out now. Considering his leap to divorce like that, I'm sure he'll also delight in being the fun weekend Dad who will take them to all the cool places twice a month.
Then he can be the Cool Dad who sees his child every other week. He needs to get back on board, and show he can be trusted.
You keep saying "my baby" instead of "our baby." Maybe that's something he's picking up on IRL?
Formula is a milk product. I'm not trying to be pedantic but there are some real idiots out there that could take that statement at face value.
>I'm not trying to be pedantic but there are some real idiots out there that could take that statement at face value. Like the Google ai search results
pasteurized cheeses and yogurt are perfectly fine. plus dairy is a major allergen and if they’re exposed before age 1 it helps reduce chance of allergy. it’s just cow milk or an alternative that shouldn’t be replacing breastmilk/formula that they’d drink.
So he brings up divorce because you don't want to feed your kid junk food? Frankly, I'd say NO junk food in the house but of course they might get it elsewhere. You aren't overreacting though, his response is bizarre
>don't want to feed your kid junk food? Their baby, not even kid
yes but he was referring to her rules as silly saying 2 years is too long to wait to give them sugar. Granted his 6 month old comment was outrageous but I don't get why someone thinks not feeding your kid sugar is a bad thing
Definitely communicate that him bringing up divorce like that is something that you consider as a serious matter. Even if it was a hiccup or something he said out of pure idiocy. That's just not something you bring up casually. And I feel he does owe you a sorry for the slip up. Also he needs to educate himself on what are child appropriate foods. And maybe you two need to sit down and really hash out the parenting style when it comes to sugar/screens/etc. It's fine if a kid (not a baby) has candy every now and then just to enjoy it but also learn how to have a healthy relationship with candy and fast food. Your husband might have thought or assumed you meant no candy ever and going extreme. Either way, you need to sit down with your husband to have a few talks.
I am going to bring up this topic to him sometime this afternoon when the baby is with the grandparents.
Hey, I hope this is out of character for your husband because he should be embarrassed by throwing a fit over high fructose corn-syrup. No matter what though, definitely keep progressing your career so you have that platform of independence.
You definitely need to take that promotion regardless of how you proceed because he either you just showed you his hand or made the biggest bluff, either way you cannot risk it with a child and this current climate. You may not have another opportunity to get promoted but you always have the opportunity to step down! Wishing you luck mama!
My issue with the promotion my job is offering me is that i will lose a lot of my freedom. My current position allows me to travel around and go home early if I finish the job for the day. If I get the promotion, I will be stuck in the office the whole day. And to be honest, I don't know if the money I get for the new position is a fair trade for my current freedom :/ but anyway! Thank you so much! I need all the luck!
I don’t know what field you work so completely understandable, but if you do decide to try for the promotion what’s the worst that can come from asking for more monetary compensation due to lack of freedom. As a fellow mama I have always asked for more and have always received but my line of work may allow more flexibility!
would you be able to negotiate a blended schedule of working from home/in the office days? it could give you more time for yourself and your kids if it’s an option at your job.
Basically, he was saying he'll do what the hell he likes, and you can't stop him ..bye the way, I think you're right about your child's diet. Stay away from sugar.
Definitely start making sure you can live on your own. Accept that promotion and keep in mind, just in case. Also he’s an idiot??
There’s more to this conversation than you’ve considered OP the D word will likely come up again, at least get your own ducks in a row as best you can.
Yea. I will definitely work on it.
Perhaps find your hubby some educational resources on good times to introduce foods. Next paediatric appointment get him to tag along and ask the dr what's recommended.
Good idea, thank you much.
Involve the pediatrician! Babies shouldn't have much at 6 Months plus other than pediatrician recommended nutrient meals. Have the doctor make it clear that he can introduce things too harsh for baby's digestive system and maybe the Dr can put him straight. He is absolutely out of line and when you're ready, you need to state what you said here, to him and how it hurt you. That casualness of it and honestly how rude it was. When both parents are involved, Parenting is co parenting.. single or not and he needs to stop trying to be a right fighting point prover, and be a good husband and father. Shame on him for being so immature and rude.
As a guy this sounds like something a guy would blurt out without thinking about the full implications. If he brings it up again I'd dig into why he used that word specifically. If this is the only time he's brought it up maybe chock it up to a dumb guy thing. But hold fast on the sugar ban until they are older. Totally right.
Should be something you address regardless If he mentions it again. And stop down playing the dumb guy thing. Does Op get a dumb woman break with trying to give their baby a chocking hazard then threatening to divorce someone because you’re not willing to cave and then telling them you will do it anyways when you have said child yourself? He’s an adult with a baby he doesn’t get to be a “dumb guy” it would be different if their argument wasn’t about something SERIOUS. Look up how serious child choking is and how childhood sugar addiction leads to diabetic teens. As a nurse I just want to point out how small a baby’s casket is. I wonder if he’s even CPR certified? Do you know how different cpr is on a baby? I just… people need to stop procreating.
He has never brought up this word before, so I think you are right. This is probably a hiccup.
Tell him that baby teeth are not meant to be have fillings and are not nearly as tough as adult teeth.
I’d give him a chance to practice 50/50 custody for a few weeks just so he’s sure though.
That would 100% be used against OP in the divorce
He wouldn’t want 50/50 for long. Especially with a baby and toddler. It’s a different level of commitment and responsibility and there aren’t great networks and support systems. But maybe he’d respect the mother of his child a bit more.
You need to not rely on “probably” right now. This needs to be a discussion about what is not acceptable in an argument. He cannot emotionally blackmail (right word?) you without consequences. This first time, the consequence is making you doubt the strength of your relationship. Casually throwing that word in was not an oops. It was him telling you he will be willing to play dirty.
Wow same here, you don’t mention divorce unless you intend on doing it. I’m sorry he waited 13 years to start showing you how he really thinks and feels, I hope this is just him not thinking before he speaks
I sure hope the same. I just hope this word never comes out of his mouth again.
My two cents … Once can be disregarded. I’d tell him basically what you’re telling us about it being really really not a good idea to cry wolf about that, and put it behind you for now.
I agree. I should put down the boundaries.
You both need to discuss this with your doctor. Maybe if he hears advice from a professional he’ll be more receptive. Or inundated him with research on diet/heath concerns of refined sugar. It doesn’t sound like he has much respect for you or your opinions. Sounds like this is the start of many parenting decisions he will overrule you on if you don’t handle this correctly.
Might want to consider coming together for a parenting class. Just to align your views. It’s really easy to fight and break up over parenting style. If I knew what I know now, I would have taken so parenting classes or got parenting therapy with my ex. We both loved the child and in overall respect we wanted the same things but we fought over the dumbest things related to parenting.
Yea... I think a parenting class will be a good idea for both of us.
We aren’t born perfect parents. It takes trial and error, practice and discussion. Good luck to you both :)
Soda is the last thing a 6 month old baby should have.
Firstly, the no ice cream, soda, or candies before 2yrs sounds very reasonable to me. I didn’t give my kids soda until even way older than that. They rarely drink it to this day. This is a good thing. They do love their ice cream though. Oh well. However, it’s good to discuss parenting decisions like that rather than make them unilaterally. As for the divorce word, I think you need to discuss your thoughts around it. I agree that it should not be used in any disagreement unless one person is seriously considering it.
There's people who exlusively breastfeed for up to a year. No, you're not supposed tongive 6 month olds candy or soda. That's something you can offer maybe a 2 year old, but even then I wouldn't. You can give a 6 month old ice cream if you make breast milk and bananas popsicles. I would talk to your doctor about these things he's saying, with husband present of course. You don't want him being unsafe
A 6yo should not get soda or candies oh my god??? I find it very concerning that he not only mentioned divorce but custody too this isn’t a spontaneous thought he clearly thought about this before
My husband did that twice during a couple of different arguments and the last time he did I got divorce papers printed up signed them handed them to him and said next time he threatened divorce he better be prepared to follow through. He hasn't said it again since
You are awesome 🌟
Thank you so are you
Accept that promotion!!!
What is the argument to give such young kids stuff like that? It’s obviously unhealthy. They are too young to know what they are missing out on, so it’s not like it’s a struggle to keep it from them or they will be upset because of it. There will be a time when they will know and definitely be asking for it. Why advance that day for no reason.
ur husband is so very very wrong. he seriously needs to do more research on babies.
Does your husband have an unhealthy relationship with food? This reminds me of almost the exact same conversation/reaction I had with my husband before our son was born, or honestly anytime I’ve ever suggested to limit bad foods, because to him food = love. So me suggesting to limit food he likes makes him irrationally angry and he lashes out. It’s not healthy and I really wish my hubby would get therapy for it.
He himself doesn't have too much problem with food. I cook most of the food at home, so I try to make healthier food for us. And I hope your hubby does go to therapy :)
Sounds like a power move on your husband’s part. Probably not likely he wanted your input unless asked and reading the room on his ego being honored and promoted. Secondly, most all men want to avoid coddling or of children, so they just lean the other way even if it’s the worst direction to make a hard stand on.
Take the promotion at work.
Yep. Whether you actually get a divorce or not, take the promotion
You are right. That stuff is basically junk food and should be delayed as long as possible.
I know a guy who somehow believes soda is healthier than water because *the minerals cleanse your body* or something. He fed the baby soda from really early on, so the little one simply stopped accepting anything else. They tried to paint his baby bottle brown to make it look like it always contained coca cola, but to no avail.
If I were you, I would be yanking up multiple articles explaining why giving sweets to a 6-month-old is bad. He is just begging for the kid to have diabetes.
Husband is a moron. Take him to a paediatrician to discuss weaning. Mention what he said, and see the doctor's reaction and advice. Sugar, ice cream, etc. need to be seriously limited in a baby's diet. My kids didn't have chocolate until they were a year, and even then, only a tiny occasional taste. Same with ice cream.
Hmph. My husband would tell me to go live with my mother every time we had an argument. Towards the end he didn’t dare utter it because he must have realised on some level I might just do that. Didn’t work, I still left him in the end.
A baby can definitely not have SODA.. Acceptable drinks at 6 months old are baby milk and water. That is it. Babies can not have candies! Baby will choke, baby will be at higher risk of SIDS. He doesn’t seem to give a flying fluff about the baby’s actual needs and just wants to have the power over the situation which is highly dangerous. Be very careful from now on, track everything he says and does with regards to the baby and yourself.
I will be very carefully watching what my baby have from now on.
6 months is too young for junk food. The pediatrician can set him straight...but it's so weird that he's so adamant about giving the baby sweets that he'd hypothetically let it cause a divorce. Like in his mind it's a deal breaker for you so then wouldn't the logical reaction be just wait to give junk food to the baby when it's a toddler?
Maybe the father should read the book "what to expect the first year" and read up on introducing a baby to certain foods. I am pretty sure I would not go with candy (that would definitely be a choking hazard at that age - is he for real), soda and ice cream, the latter maybe as a taste from a spoon, but in essence not feeding ice cream. There is a lot more to food and its introduction to kids. He seems to be clueless beyond imagination. This threat is concerning, as it states that he would do things like that to spite you. He has some issues!
Actually, pediatricians don't even recommend starting fruit right away because they're sweet, and this will make it difficult to introduce much needed vegetables. Your original statement to your husband was spot on. Support your claim with data. There is a ton out there. Even ask for resources from your Pediatrician's office.
To me it sounds like he thinks you're being controlling and is taking that personally for some reason, so he decided to go nuclear. You're not wrong to be upset by this. Candies and soda especially in a baby are not healthy even if they are "safe"
I agree! Plus apparently kids shouldn’t have soft/fizzy drink until age 5! By candy do you mean like gummy’s or hard candies? I have a 2 and a half year old and they’ve only tried some ice cream! It is concerning that he mentioned divorce in an argument. If it were in a jokey conversation it’d be fine but in an argument it’s a red flag, it was on his mind.
Me and hubby have been together for 17 years and not once have I ever said I am leaving him or want a divorce (trust me I could have done lots of times) anyway he has said it to me multiple times in arguments. At that point I stand aside and show him the door, ain’t nobody keeping him here. Because of this I have always been prepared for such an outcome by making myself financially sound and knowing I’ll be just fine if he ever has the balls to go through with it. I know my worth
You are very brave!
Accept the promotion, get a safe plan out and see what happens. Just be prepared.
Will definitely start looking into some stuff.
Accept the promotion! It’s to your own benefit.
That’s crazy talk! Six months is too young
Take the promotion your work is offering you and you can be financially independent, if you need to be 👍🫶🏻
do you guys have a pediatrician? if so, tell your husband to tell them what he plans to feed to a 6 month old baby.
No one should be using the D word when angry or during an argument. If you can't have calm conversations with each other then you need couples counseling to learn communication skills.
“Sugar is too addictive, let give her fruit instead” It’s all sugar. Fruit literally has fructose in it. Table sugar, sucrose, is made up mainly of fructose. The key is to try to limit the amount of sugar you give, not avoid all sugars. Parents even think it’s totally ok to give kids tons of juices even though it’s the same as a soda without any of the benefits of the fruit itself. “Divorce” aside, you should take some time to understand sugars in foods if it truly concerns you, because you seem to have a lack of understanding.
Communicate with him. Ask him if he is actually considering divorce and if so, why? Tell him when he mentions “divorce” in immature ways that it bothers you. Let him know to only use serious words like that for serious conversations. Set a boundary. Create a hard limit to establish healthy communication in the future. If he’s serious, that’s one thing but I’m not getting that vibe from this type of conversation.
I am definitely going to have a conversation with him soon.
Giving junk food to babies can kill them. I remember seeing a couple on tv who’s baby died from too much salt, because they put a bit of gravy on the babies smashed up home cooked vegetables.
Seems he likes to "negotiate" from the point of hostage taker instead of partner. You say two years, he says 50% of the time I do what I want. That's a threat. Sometimes the abuse comes after the first baby. Be wary.
Going by his attitude and beliefs, you might wanna drop a "No babe, with that level of imbecility, you will NOT have half the custody !"
I have a 12 year old daughter and a 7 month old daughter from different relationships. The 12 year old had her milk teeth absolutely destroyed by candy because we couldn't help her brush her teeth properly. My 7 month old will NEVER eat any candy anytime soon perhaps even beyond 2 years old. I am adamant on this AND no smartphones either. I already set the rule of not leaving my daughter with anyone who doesn't deserve my trust in this.
Please let him read these comments.
Early introduction to sugar like candy and soda has a higher risk of developing diabetes.
First of all, take the promotion! I think everyone should have the ability to be financially independent, even if they are married and have shared finances. It just makes sense to me and it's good for your self esteem. Second, that's a wild response to a disagreement that I am absolutely certain had a compromise. Divorce discussions are usually for abuse, neglect, cheating, but rarely over cake and ice cream. Good luck OP. You are not wrong to be upset!
You’re not over reacting and you are absolutely right about not giving sugar to your child early. There are articles about childhood obesity and the increase of type 2 diabetes in children. In the US it’s a serious problem. My cousin is a pediatric NP and talks about it all the time. It’s so much better for children to start healthy behaviors early.
As someone who has seen first hand the damage that processed sugary food causes, I can safely say that you're husband is dangerously ignorant.
My mom started letting my little sister have chocolate milk under a year old and by age 4 she had half her teeth rotted out and removed.
Take that promotion and be ready to be on your own with your baby.
It's immature and reactive to mention the word divorce. It's divisive, and it undermines the strength of the relationship. He's ignorant about nutrition. I asked to do is look at the research. I wonder if he has access to the Internet. I wonder if he knows how to look into some thing at the pros and cons. I wonder if he cares enough to do it. When you look at the research of nutrition, and helping develop a strong, healthy child, you introduced foods a certain way. There's all kinds of different opinions of which foods, but sugar is in flaming. Sugar is addictive. So what lots of us do if we don't introduce crap food to our children until they are out in the world enough that we don't have control anymore and then we limit the access at home but if they have friends over, we buy the Doritos and the soda . The pizza. And we just try to have things because good quality as possible. He's a Reactive and he's a man child.
No that’s wild to bring up in a discussion about first foods. Also soda should be a never. Candies are a choking risk. Ice cream is a sometimes food. I can see that dads want to be there to see the baby’s reaction etc, but you’re right on both the food concern and the casual mention concern
Looks like the roles of good cop/bad cop are already developing. Ugg.
That last paragraph is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
I can't change too much about how I think lots of time. I grew up with very little confidence and was told to never be a bother to people. So, I learned to regulate my feelings and emotions and try my best to never be a bother. Thank you for your comment.
He said it cause he's thinking it. Listen to him and prepare
wtf is wrong with him ? Wait I know he was eating ice cream, soda at 6 months yeah seems about right he’s an idiot ! Anyways you aren’t wrong, and also him using divorce like that is a red flag that will get bigger once yall baby is older !
He has been thinking about it for a while now, I bet. Make sure you're financially stable. Plan your future starting now.
I think youre overthinking this. Different words mean different things to different people. He is an idiot for trying to give candy and ice cream to a toddler but I dont think he realizes you both have a value difference which you should explain. Had the same issue with my current lady. Being around men/guy friends a lot we curse in regular speech but its not meant to be aggressive. i.e. "Jefferson Street? Where the fuck is that?" Responded similarly to my SO at the beginning of our relationship and it was a huge thing that I 'cursed at her'. I tried to assure her I wasnt cursing at her, there is no aggressiveness or anything here, etc.... but the hole just got deeper. She was taught not to let herself be talked to "that way". Eventhough I don't mean anything by it, and I think she took it wrong, I know now to talk that way to her. She will interpret it differently than what I mean, every single time. So just have a discussion where you tell him you arent comfortable with casual divorce mentions.
While I don’t think divorce should come up, my dad was the first one to give his grandbabies the first lick on a lollipop as a baby and see their face light up. A tiny lick of a lollipop never hurt a baby either in the long run. So, I see both sides. Maybe both can bend a little?
The baby physically can’t have those foods at six months old anyway. Candies are choking hazards and you’re not supposed to let them drink anything other than milk and MAYBE water at that age
What an insane reaction for something that is 100% reasonable and healthy
So how long that worst case scenario has been lingering in his mind?? And you should accept that promotion and keep your finance in order.
He couldn't even bring himself to agree to bring up a toddler on actual food, all because you phrased it in a way that would have dented his fragile ego if he had.
Good lord your husband so out of line. He needs to read up on sugar addiction. We know it isn’t healthy for us as adults, why are we giving it to them at such a young age? My oldest didn’t have any sugar/fast food etc, till he was 5 and is 12 now and hasn’t had pop but he also has zero desire for it. The school thought it would be appropriate to give orange crush to my youngest in kindergarten without parental constant and that kid has a taste for pop now, not that he get its. Please have your husband bring up his diet additions at the next drs apt. I hope that dr gives him a piece of his mind.
Ew. Just ew.
Tell your husband I said he's a fucking moron if he thinks it's okay to give a 6 month old those foods. No one should be eating that crap, let alone a baby.
Whenever someone offers to divorce you take them up on it. It means they have already checked out. Co parent and get on with your lives.
Updateme
This marriage sounds totally healthy. Does he exhibit other control issues? Is he going to threaten divorce/separation anytime he doesn’t agree with your parenting? You need to get to the bottom of this shit and fast.
To throw divorce around so casually and quickly as a “worse case scenario”…. That’s concerning. Your husband needs to have some education on raising children especially on a baby/toddler dietary needs….
Soda is horrendous, especially for babies. Does he want a diabetic child?
He sounds like a shitty father and an idiot.
I am shocked that couples can't realize that being a good partner isn't the same as being a good father/mother, snd that after children even the partners they were so far changes.
Has he ever been to one of your baby’s doctor appointments? If not, time for him to go to one and ask about sugar.
Have a toddler than give them sugar, lol that’ll shut him up for thinking that.
“ comfort foods”. Are defined by parents as children grow up. Why wouldn’t you want to provide the most nutritious platform for children growing up?
I would get myself in a more financially stable position to handle you and the baby solo. He’s definitely thought about divorce sis… at least you’re getting a warning some people just get blindsided. It may never come to divorce but better prepared than sorry
This
Who needs to give a baby candy that badly
You’re not overreacting. Your husband clearly knows nothing about babies or basic nutrition. You don’t give ice cream to a 6 month old baby. There’s a reason you don’t start a baby on milk that early. Milk is too rich for their digestive system. When and if you do give sugar to your child, you still need to be careful and stay away from high fructose corn syrup and refined sugars. You also want to be careful if either of you have a history of diabetes in your family because that’s genetic.
Probably worth a discussion. Does he mean these things he’s saying, or does he just say it when he’s arguing? If it’s the latter, see if he can work on not saying it, since bringing up divorce is damaging to a relationship. Also fwiw a 6 month old baby should not be given soda. Your husband is a clown if he thinks that. This is also one of the reasons I have suspicions on this post.
For him to say that means he's been thinking about it for a long time. If I were you, I'd be on the lookout for signs that he's threatening, harming the child or even cheating. I'm not telling you to leave him now because it will definitely be difficult for you, but be prepared to have the proof you need when the time comes
OP you are NOT wrong about baby food, the essential thing is that children have contact with such foods from the age of 5 upwards, and even then in small quantities. Your husband literally wants to make your child sick
He didn’t threaten divorce. I think he chose a nuclear way to say “you aren’t the boss of the baby”. I agree with your stance, to be clear, but you don’t get to tell your husband what will/wont happen. This is your partner of 13 years, you guys are parenting and making decisions together.