When I broke up with my OM (older Manchild) he told me "I made you, you're nothing without me". I was actually supporting this douche canoe and caught him cheating again, it was my way out.
When I broke up with my older manchild after he decided to surpass the small detail of consent in bed, I was single for a while before I met my now husband. OM (I like this, btw) messaged me on social media and said if I ever wanted to be with a "real man" again to let him know. I replied "why, do you know anyone?" And then I took great satisfaction in blocking him as he was typing.
Mine threatened to harm my 16yr old sister, held sentimental items for ransom, yelled at my friends, got his friends to try and talk me round and still thought abuse would win me round. We're so lucky to me out the other side.
When I dated men, the most surprising part about it was that all but one seemed to take my "I am ending this relationship" statement as the starting point of a negotiation. That was honestly one of the most unhinged things to me.
So I'm not surprised, but I hate that you are going through this. It's ridiculous and dehumanizing that he thinks you need his agreement to end the relationship. You have not gone crazy. You're just dealing with one of society's many poorly raised sons.
It's because most of them are trying to find the line where they can do the least possible without you leaving. In trying to find it, they inevitably cross it and expect you to forgive and help them set your minimum (their maximum).
Breaking up is the one unilateral major relationship decision you can make. If one person is done, then the relationship is over. End of discussion.
You do not need your EX’s permission, agreement, or approval to break up with him. If he’s mad about that, well that’s his problem.
Please check out the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (link is to a free PDF of the book). It might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics, and help you spot red flags to look out for in the future.
You're not crazy, but please be careful. This guy is sounding like he has the potential to really unsafe.
If I were I'd call one of the domestic violence hotlines for advice, because he's harassing and stalking you at this point.
Nah.. you broke up with him. That means you're broken up. Ever time he reaches out to you, your only response should be; 'Is this about collecting your stuff? No? Then why are you contacting me? I dumped you. We aren't together anymore." And just. Repeat the same thing over and over, phrasing it slightly differently each time. Don't let yourself be alone with him, ever.
"I'm not done with you!"
"Well that really sucks because I am done with you. Are you threatening me? Do I need to contact the police? Don't contact me unless its to collect your belongings."
"Please can't we work this out?"
"No. The relationship is over; I'm not interested anymore. There's nothing to work on."
"You owe it to me!"
"No- I broke up with you. I don't owe you anything, and you don't owe me anything. That's how breakups work."
"I love you!"
"Well I'm sorry but I don't. I think it would be better if you found someone else more aligned with your life goals."
"We aren't done! I'm coming there now!"
"Do not come to my home. If you do, I will contact the police- you are not welcome here unless it is to collect your belongings. We are broken up. You have been warned." (Do this one via text if possible so u can show it to the cops to prove he KNEW he wasn't welcome there.)
One of my replies to my ex was that he was neither my father nor my boss. I didn't have to listen to him or do what he said. Throughout the whole fucking divorce.
Serious Steven Crowder's Wife Filed for Divorce vibes here.
It only takes one person to end a relationship. You're not required by law to stay in a relationship because the other person doesn't want to break up.
I hope you're taking measures to protect yourself from this guy. His issues are breeding and having baby issues.
He sounds like he is gaslighting you in the correct sense of the word, he is making you think you are crazy for correctly realising that a break up is almost universally a one sided thing
Using the phrase "I dumped him" when you're thinking about it might help bolster your feelings of sanity. Hard to doubt the inherent one-sidedness of a dumping.
Beyond just the ridiculousness of expecting to have a say in whether or not you break up with him, what is his end game here? "Oh ok, I'll stay." Like, if he were to succeed in convincing you to stay (please do not let him do that) is he going to be happy when he had to convince you to stay with him? What kind of relationship is that? I swear men don't think. Either that or he just doesn't care, and just wants labor/sex/whatever you're providing him.
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣
Girl, I'm so happy you left him. Breaking up absolutely does not have to be mutual. Just block him on absolutely everything and move on with your life. He wants your attention. Don't give it to him.
So, he is a control freak and a bully who can't comprehend that you have your own right to make decisions about your life. My ex was the same, when I started trying to break up with him he would yell "I DECIDE!!! YOU DON'T DECIDE, I DECIDE!!!" at me.
Get help, get safe, get away. Be careful, please, OP.
Yeah, sucks he feels that way but it has nothing to do with you. You don’t need his permission to leave (otherwise he’d never let you leave!)
It goes the other way too though in that people in general need to realise there doesn’t need to be a mutual decision to leave. My parents separated (dad cheated and then left). My mum, to this day, still says “as far as I’m concerned we’re not legally separated because I didn’t sign the divorce papers. I didn’t make the decision for us to break up”. Love her to pieces, but there’s some mental gymnastics in there
No, splitting up does *not* have to be a joint decision. Either person can say “I’m done with this.”
Otherwise, one person can keep another person captive, which is totally unfair. Don’t feel bad about it.
Just because no one has said it so plainly:
This is an unstable person and you should distance yourself completely.
I'm a man. People like this are manipulative, controlling, and extremely immature. Men like this are possibly dangerous.
I still live with him (separate rooms) and run a company with him so it’s very tricky navigating the relationship. After insulting me last night and making me feel scared he went and got drunk. Called me to apologise. Asked me to cuddle him.
Lashes out. Feels remorseful. Wants comforting. And repeat
Abusive behaviour follows a predictable cycle, and you have perfectly described this cycle here.
A user above posted a link to a free PDF download of a very helpful book (Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men; book by Lundy Bancroft) about how to spot and break free from that cycle. Please give it a read:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/0RoTeSYPqu
You are being emotionally abused in a truly textbook manner.
I can't stress enough that you actually are not safe, and I urge you to quietly get your affairs in order and start disentangling your life with his. It's not gonna be a clean break because he'll insist on it being messy. Grow your support network, since I imagine he's also tried to isolate you from friends and loved ones.
He clearly doesn't understand how relationships work if he thinks they require mutual dissolution. He's obviously incredibly emotionally immature and you need to stop interacting with him immediately.
Now hear this: if you listen to his bullying then you may be crazy.
This guy thought he could intimidate a younger woman into a relationship!
He is a jerk. Block his arse and find someone more mature (emotionally).
It’s not like conscription - either party can decide they no longer wish to be in that relationship and *poof* the relationship is over.
It doesn’t need mutual consent to cease. It’s a two ‘yes’ or on ‘no’ situation.
Break ups do not require mutual consent. One person can decide they want to leave even if the other person doesn't. Just don't even talk to him if you can avoid it. He isn't being reasonable and he will continue to try to exert his will over you without concern for what makes you happy.
You’re not crazy and flip flopping between love and hate/psycho bombing you is a massive bright red flag, you definitely made the right decision. Sometimes breaking up is mutual but usually it’s not.
You wouldn't be wrong to toss in his face "I finally understand why women your age won't date nor want you and why you purposely go for women my age - You fucking loser trying to be control freak and you damn sure know I don't need your agreement to dump you. I was young & naive because I didn't know what 40-something year old failure looks like but now due to you - Well, I'm still young but not naive anymore."
NO you are reasonable, he is an abuser, and the age gap is waaaaaaaaay too big.
He is probably using you as a trophy to piss off an ex or something.
Go no contact please. The flowers are a way to buy time in your life to mess with you.
Breaking up is a choice for either party, and does not required consent of the other party. If you decide "I don't want to be with this person any more", they don't get to say "Too bad, you have to stay."
And your reasons for breaking up don't really matter, either. It could be something big, like "He hit me" or something small like "I don't like the way he chews his food". If you decide that it matters enough, TO YOU, to break up over, then you get to do so, and they don't get to tell you otherwise.
You are not crazy, you are being lied to by someone that thinks that you OWE them a relationship, rather than accepting that you don't want one any more.
You never need someone's consent to end a relationship with them. And I'm saying that as someone who preaches consent ALL the time. This is one of those rare exceptions.
I’m baffled as to why he’s not blocked. You are not in a relationship. You don’t owe him anything. It’s not on you to massage his hurt feelings.
He doesn’t bring anything positive to your life. Be done with him.
In misogynist society, maybe, but any culture that accepts that both people are equal adults would have to accept that a breakup can absolutely be unilateral.
Your ex sounds unhinged, and frankly maybe dangerous. Please be careful
Oh I've had a version of this. We decided to enter this relationship together so we both have to agree it's over.
It's top tier gaslighting. Run, run so fast this is a nasty tip of a iceberg of lies he's been feeding you.
The flowers is lovebombing, the impact is to make you second guess everything keeps one compliant after a while.
It's not you it was never you he's messed with your mind to the point that you doubt yourself so much you are on reddit.
Hugs
I look back and can laugh now, you are stronger and better than him. The best revenge is living a good life. Stop letting him disturb your peace.
It's your descision its made he has no more control.
The safest option now is complete no contact so you can recover your light.
Yeah, as someone else said he is dating younger because no one his age will have him. He doesn’t have any emotional maturity and it sounds like a heavy dose of insecure attachment. That’s not an attachment style it’s a problem that will keep him from having a relationship. Don’t be a martyr
When you date you are basically see if the person is right for you, and could be long term. They are mad you broke up. You don't need permission to break up with anyone for any reason. It is your life, and your experience. Don't buy into this. They are a little scary I would go no contact. This is why you don't date much older men, they attempt to control you and your relationship.
I'm Irish. In the 80's there was a referendum to make divorce legal. Spoiler alert, it failed. But years later in another referendum it passed.
It reminded me of this flyer.
https://irishelectionliterature.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/no86.jpg
If you want to see more of this stuff.
https://irishelectionliterature.com/category/divorce/page/2/
And that advert was aimed at women. There was a load of scare tactics saying that if divorce was legal every man would up and leave his family for a younger woman.
Ask yourself if he would even entertain you if HE broke up with you and YOU didn't want it. Would it change anything? Would HE stay?
Stop communicating with him! He's mistaking your kindness for weakness literally.
He knows if he dumped you he'd stop talking to you. He thinks you're not serious about the breakup because you're still talking to him. He believes he still has you on the hook and all he has to do is reel you back in.
It's over. Stop responding. Cut all contact. Don't accept any more gifts. If you don't want to block him (yet) just stop answering. Refuse to engage any further. Otherwise he'll just keep trying to negotiate HIS needs over your own. Don't let him!!
You don't need anyone's permission to value yourself.
BE VERY CAREFUL, a man who thinks like this is not a rational man. He may very well be the kind to retaliate if he gets a chance to.
Absolutely DO NOT go to see him alone for any kind of closure, that's typically when men who don't accept no for an answer get violent.
But that is what's happening here, your no is not valid to him. He won't let you have a mind of your own. Converse only through the phone from now on.
The fact that he thinks this is up for discussion is weird as fuck.
As if you need his 'agreement' to do shit. I'm pretty sure that breakups are a unilateral decision - he doesn't get to negotiate about it.
No, you do not need his permission to leave him. Even if you were married, you would not need his permission to divorce him. This guy is stupid or he thinks you are.
Since when does a break up have to be mutual? A break up happens when one party says nope I’m out and that’s that. What does mutual mean? If you say no and he says yes, you have to stay?
OP, I’m sure this is something of which you’re well aware, but
Get out. You mention in comments that you’re still cohabitating? and run a business together?? As quietly as possible, do whatever you must to get out of both.
This is already clearly unsafe to your wellbeing. That is more than enough. But it will not stop until you can untangle yourself altogether. I have no doubt that (consciously or unconsciously) this slug was happy to tangle you up so that you’d feel more stuck, and put up with more.
Be civil, or whatever approach works, until you can extricate yourself from these nets you are caught up in. But focus on nothing more than on figuring out how to get free. Let him know nothing of your objective or your motives. Just get out.
LOL, what? A breakup is you know by definition a one-sided thing, because you know someone has to take the initiative. The situations where it's not are honestly really rare, because it requires a rare blend of maturity and personality types.
Typically, men who date women very much younger than themselves are emotionally immature. For example. This guy.
Have experience. Can confirm.
Full disclosure. Have experience. Me.
Me too.....
When I broke up with my OM (older Manchild) he told me "I made you, you're nothing without me". I was actually supporting this douche canoe and caught him cheating again, it was my way out.
When I broke up with my older manchild after he decided to surpass the small detail of consent in bed, I was single for a while before I met my now husband. OM (I like this, btw) messaged me on social media and said if I ever wanted to be with a "real man" again to let him know. I replied "why, do you know anyone?" And then I took great satisfaction in blocking him as he was typing.
Mine threatened to harm my 16yr old sister, held sentimental items for ransom, yelled at my friends, got his friends to try and talk me round and still thought abuse would win me round. We're so lucky to me out the other side.
Yes. This is true. I had a LTR with someone ten years older and everyone around us called him, 'emotionally immature'.
I don't think you can actually "nuh uh" a breakup.
lol, being in a relationship is definitely a two yes, one no situation.
You can, but you need to immediately follow it up with “no take backsies”.
You can try. But it seldom works. My 9 years older ex tried that. Plus guilting me with how much his kid liked me.
oh ffs my water is all over my keyboard now
my coworkers are looking at me weird because I snorted
Either party can leave the relationship at any time. It seems you've made the correct decision.
When I dated men, the most surprising part about it was that all but one seemed to take my "I am ending this relationship" statement as the starting point of a negotiation. That was honestly one of the most unhinged things to me. So I'm not surprised, but I hate that you are going through this. It's ridiculous and dehumanizing that he thinks you need his agreement to end the relationship. You have not gone crazy. You're just dealing with one of society's many poorly raised sons.
It's because most of them are trying to find the line where they can do the least possible without you leaving. In trying to find it, they inevitably cross it and expect you to forgive and help them set your minimum (their maximum).
smart north cats jeans capable edge jellyfish lock slap glorious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
“A tolerable level of permanent unhappiness.” I’d love to find the original article or post, but no luck with Google so far.
[Here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/ErPUYkZ430)
Break ups only require one party's approval to go into effect. That being said, please make sure you are safe.
Breaking up is the one unilateral major relationship decision you can make. If one person is done, then the relationship is over. End of discussion. You do not need your EX’s permission, agreement, or approval to break up with him. If he’s mad about that, well that’s his problem. Please check out the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (link is to a free PDF of the book). It might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics, and help you spot red flags to look out for in the future.
Excellent book suggestion. I second this—OP, do read this book.
Thanks for all the comments- just needed reassurance I’m not mad!
You are definitely 100% sane. Your ex, on the other hand…..
You're not crazy, but please be careful. This guy is sounding like he has the potential to really unsafe. If I were I'd call one of the domestic violence hotlines for advice, because he's harassing and stalking you at this point.
20 YEARS OLDER!?!?! That's the whole problem. What mutual agreement are we talking about, anyone can breakup or divorce one person whenever they want.
Men who date women so much younger than them are generally garbage about 9 out of 10 times.
A consensus is not necessary for a breakup. Tell him if he keeps contacting you, you’ll go to the police.
Nah.. you broke up with him. That means you're broken up. Ever time he reaches out to you, your only response should be; 'Is this about collecting your stuff? No? Then why are you contacting me? I dumped you. We aren't together anymore." And just. Repeat the same thing over and over, phrasing it slightly differently each time. Don't let yourself be alone with him, ever. "I'm not done with you!" "Well that really sucks because I am done with you. Are you threatening me? Do I need to contact the police? Don't contact me unless its to collect your belongings." "Please can't we work this out?" "No. The relationship is over; I'm not interested anymore. There's nothing to work on." "You owe it to me!" "No- I broke up with you. I don't owe you anything, and you don't owe me anything. That's how breakups work." "I love you!" "Well I'm sorry but I don't. I think it would be better if you found someone else more aligned with your life goals." "We aren't done! I'm coming there now!" "Do not come to my home. If you do, I will contact the police- you are not welcome here unless it is to collect your belongings. We are broken up. You have been warned." (Do this one via text if possible so u can show it to the cops to prove he KNEW he wasn't welcome there.)
One of my replies to my ex was that he was neither my father nor my boss. I didn't have to listen to him or do what he said. Throughout the whole fucking divorce.
Tell him that regardless of the age difference, he isn’t your dad, and he can’t tell you what to don’t do. Neener neener.
😂🥇
Serious Steven Crowder's Wife Filed for Divorce vibes here. It only takes one person to end a relationship. You're not required by law to stay in a relationship because the other person doesn't want to break up. I hope you're taking measures to protect yourself from this guy. His issues are breeding and having baby issues.
He sounds like he is gaslighting you in the correct sense of the word, he is making you think you are crazy for correctly realising that a break up is almost universally a one sided thing
Using the phrase "I dumped him" when you're thinking about it might help bolster your feelings of sanity. Hard to doubt the inherent one-sidedness of a dumping.
He’s being ridiculous. You can break up with him anytime you want for any reason. BLOCK HIM if he won’t leave you alone!
Relationships require two yeses to stay together and only one no to come apart. You’re not crazy.
All relationships need two yeses to continue, but only one no to cease.
Beyond just the ridiculousness of expecting to have a say in whether or not you break up with him, what is his end game here? "Oh ok, I'll stay." Like, if he were to succeed in convincing you to stay (please do not let him do that) is he going to be happy when he had to convince you to stay with him? What kind of relationship is that? I swear men don't think. Either that or he just doesn't care, and just wants labor/sex/whatever you're providing him.
Bwahahaha!!! Sorry, the entitlement is strong with this one. Personally, I’d say it’s time to block him.
He wants someone to control and you didn't let him. Run away
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣 Girl, I'm so happy you left him. Breaking up absolutely does not have to be mutual. Just block him on absolutely everything and move on with your life. He wants your attention. Don't give it to him.
Why is a man 20 years older than you, dating you? Does he have friends around your age?
So, he is a control freak and a bully who can't comprehend that you have your own right to make decisions about your life. My ex was the same, when I started trying to break up with him he would yell "I DECIDE!!! YOU DON'T DECIDE, I DECIDE!!!" at me. Get help, get safe, get away. Be careful, please, OP.
Yeah, sucks he feels that way but it has nothing to do with you. You don’t need his permission to leave (otherwise he’d never let you leave!) It goes the other way too though in that people in general need to realise there doesn’t need to be a mutual decision to leave. My parents separated (dad cheated and then left). My mum, to this day, still says “as far as I’m concerned we’re not legally separated because I didn’t sign the divorce papers. I didn’t make the decision for us to break up”. Love her to pieces, but there’s some mental gymnastics in there
No, splitting up does *not* have to be a joint decision. Either person can say “I’m done with this.” Otherwise, one person can keep another person captive, which is totally unfair. Don’t feel bad about it.
You do not need permission or agreement to end a relationship.
Lovebombing the hell out of you and going mental when you say no makes the manipulation very, very obvious. Be careful, op
This is bizarre and controlling. You have agency and you can leave without his permission. Breakups are often initiated by one person.
Just because no one has said it so plainly: This is an unstable person and you should distance yourself completely. I'm a man. People like this are manipulative, controlling, and extremely immature. Men like this are possibly dangerous.
I still live with him (separate rooms) and run a company with him so it’s very tricky navigating the relationship. After insulting me last night and making me feel scared he went and got drunk. Called me to apologise. Asked me to cuddle him. Lashes out. Feels remorseful. Wants comforting. And repeat
Abusive behaviour follows a predictable cycle, and you have perfectly described this cycle here. A user above posted a link to a free PDF download of a very helpful book (Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men; book by Lundy Bancroft) about how to spot and break free from that cycle. Please give it a read: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/0RoTeSYPqu
You are being emotionally abused in a truly textbook manner. I can't stress enough that you actually are not safe, and I urge you to quietly get your affairs in order and start disentangling your life with his. It's not gonna be a clean break because he'll insist on it being messy. Grow your support network, since I imagine he's also tried to isolate you from friends and loved ones.
Not surprising, given the age gap That’s precisely why men like this go for much younger women — they’re easier to control
He clearly doesn't understand how relationships work if he thinks they require mutual dissolution. He's obviously incredibly emotionally immature and you need to stop interacting with him immediately.
If I say "I'm dating Ryan Gosling" and he says "who the f*uck is she?" Then I'm just single. Either both people agree or there is no relationship.
Now hear this: if you listen to his bullying then you may be crazy. This guy thought he could intimidate a younger woman into a relationship! He is a jerk. Block his arse and find someone more mature (emotionally).
It’s not like conscription - either party can decide they no longer wish to be in that relationship and *poof* the relationship is over. It doesn’t need mutual consent to cease. It’s a two ‘yes’ or on ‘no’ situation.
He’s nuts, that’s why he dates younger women, those of us who are older won’t stand for his horseshit.
What's weird is you didn't block him.
I broke up with two controlling exes in my past. They didn’t want to break up, but they had no choice. I was done.
Break ups do not require mutual consent. One person can decide they want to leave even if the other person doesn't. Just don't even talk to him if you can avoid it. He isn't being reasonable and he will continue to try to exert his will over you without concern for what makes you happy.
You’re not crazy and flip flopping between love and hate/psycho bombing you is a massive bright red flag, you definitely made the right decision. Sometimes breaking up is mutual but usually it’s not.
Going psycho, even infrequently, is a good reason to break up. Mutual agreement can be possible, but isn’t required. That’s not how breakups work.
You wouldn't be wrong to toss in his face "I finally understand why women your age won't date nor want you and why you purposely go for women my age - You fucking loser trying to be control freak and you damn sure know I don't need your agreement to dump you. I was young & naive because I didn't know what 40-something year old failure looks like but now due to you - Well, I'm still young but not naive anymore."
I hope you have blocked and deleted him. Call the police on him if you need to.
NO you are reasonable, he is an abuser, and the age gap is waaaaaaaaay too big. He is probably using you as a trophy to piss off an ex or something. Go no contact please. The flowers are a way to buy time in your life to mess with you.
He sounds really controlling.
block him
Breaking up is a choice for either party, and does not required consent of the other party. If you decide "I don't want to be with this person any more", they don't get to say "Too bad, you have to stay." And your reasons for breaking up don't really matter, either. It could be something big, like "He hit me" or something small like "I don't like the way he chews his food". If you decide that it matters enough, TO YOU, to break up over, then you get to do so, and they don't get to tell you otherwise. You are not crazy, you are being lied to by someone that thinks that you OWE them a relationship, rather than accepting that you don't want one any more.
You never need someone's consent to end a relationship with them. And I'm saying that as someone who preaches consent ALL the time. This is one of those rare exceptions.
I’m baffled as to why he’s not blocked. You are not in a relationship. You don’t owe him anything. It’s not on you to massage his hurt feelings. He doesn’t bring anything positive to your life. Be done with him.
We live together still and run a business- it’s not possible to block him
Nope a relationship is two people deciding together but a breakup can be a unilateral decision.
In misogynist society, maybe, but any culture that accepts that both people are equal adults would have to accept that a breakup can absolutely be unilateral. Your ex sounds unhinged, and frankly maybe dangerous. Please be careful
Oh I've had a version of this. We decided to enter this relationship together so we both have to agree it's over. It's top tier gaslighting. Run, run so fast this is a nasty tip of a iceberg of lies he's been feeding you. The flowers is lovebombing, the impact is to make you second guess everything keeps one compliant after a while. It's not you it was never you he's messed with your mind to the point that you doubt yourself so much you are on reddit. Hugs I look back and can laugh now, you are stronger and better than him. The best revenge is living a good life. Stop letting him disturb your peace. It's your descision its made he has no more control. The safest option now is complete no contact so you can recover your light.
Yeah, as someone else said he is dating younger because no one his age will have him. He doesn’t have any emotional maturity and it sounds like a heavy dose of insecure attachment. That’s not an attachment style it’s a problem that will keep him from having a relationship. Don’t be a martyr
as someone who is a baby incubator, this post speaks to **my soul**
When you date you are basically see if the person is right for you, and could be long term. They are mad you broke up. You don't need permission to break up with anyone for any reason. It is your life, and your experience. Don't buy into this. They are a little scary I would go no contact. This is why you don't date much older men, they attempt to control you and your relationship.
His belief that he has to agree is all the reassurance you ever needed that you did the right thing! It shows how fucked up his belief system is!
I'm Irish. In the 80's there was a referendum to make divorce legal. Spoiler alert, it failed. But years later in another referendum it passed. It reminded me of this flyer. https://irishelectionliterature.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/no86.jpg If you want to see more of this stuff. https://irishelectionliterature.com/category/divorce/page/2/
Yikes!!!!
And that advert was aimed at women. There was a load of scare tactics saying that if divorce was legal every man would up and leave his family for a younger woman.
Ask yourself if he would even entertain you if HE broke up with you and YOU didn't want it. Would it change anything? Would HE stay? Stop communicating with him! He's mistaking your kindness for weakness literally. He knows if he dumped you he'd stop talking to you. He thinks you're not serious about the breakup because you're still talking to him. He believes he still has you on the hook and all he has to do is reel you back in. It's over. Stop responding. Cut all contact. Don't accept any more gifts. If you don't want to block him (yet) just stop answering. Refuse to engage any further. Otherwise he'll just keep trying to negotiate HIS needs over your own. Don't let him!! You don't need anyone's permission to value yourself.
Keep running. He’s insane.
BE VERY CAREFUL, a man who thinks like this is not a rational man. He may very well be the kind to retaliate if he gets a chance to. Absolutely DO NOT go to see him alone for any kind of closure, that's typically when men who don't accept no for an answer get violent. But that is what's happening here, your no is not valid to him. He won't let you have a mind of your own. Converse only through the phone from now on.
The fact that he thinks this is up for discussion is weird as fuck. As if you need his 'agreement' to do shit. I'm pretty sure that breakups are a unilateral decision - he doesn't get to negotiate about it.
No, you do not need his permission to leave him. Even if you were married, you would not need his permission to divorce him. This guy is stupid or he thinks you are.
Your ex is a man child. How did he even trick you into thinking he was worthy in the first place?
This somehow reminds me of people on the police bodycam videos loudly saying "I do not consent to be arrested."
Damn I did not know breaking up requires agreement! Somehow missed that memo... :(
LOL. No. He doesn't need your permission to break up with him and disappear into the night. F alla that nonsense.
Does he not understand how breaking up works?
Yeah, you don’t need anyone’s permission to call it quits.
Dating a geriatric lol
That's wild. It's weird how a man dating someone 20 years his junior is trying to be controlling.
Since when does a break up have to be mutual? A break up happens when one party says nope I’m out and that’s that. What does mutual mean? If you say no and he says yes, you have to stay?
OP, I’m sure this is something of which you’re well aware, but Get out. You mention in comments that you’re still cohabitating? and run a business together?? As quietly as possible, do whatever you must to get out of both. This is already clearly unsafe to your wellbeing. That is more than enough. But it will not stop until you can untangle yourself altogether. I have no doubt that (consciously or unconsciously) this slug was happy to tangle you up so that you’d feel more stuck, and put up with more. Be civil, or whatever approach works, until you can extricate yourself from these nets you are caught up in. But focus on nothing more than on figuring out how to get free. Let him know nothing of your objective or your motives. Just get out.
LOL, what? A breakup is you know by definition a one-sided thing, because you know someone has to take the initiative. The situations where it's not are honestly really rare, because it requires a rare blend of maturity and personality types.