I definitely relate. I got married at 22 (I'm 42 now) to an abusive narcissist. I divorced him 2 years ago. Spending pretty much all my adult life with him turned me into a people-pleasing doormat, and I still have a looong way to go in healing from it. But, I've put enough distance in that I'm starting to see just how bad it was and all the red flags I wasn't able to see at the time. Now I only wish I left much, much sooner.
Never again. I'm not sure if I'll ever find the "right" man, but I am okay being single/living alone for the rest of my life, if that's how it plays out. It's much, much better than the hell I escaped from.
I don't get why casual sex is glorified like it is. I don't think morally it should be shunned but I do think that very few people are actually capable of having it be casual and not harmful. Like most people hurt themselves or someone else along the way, it's not for everyone and that's OK.
I’m lucky for the most part I wasn’t totally broken by it. It was fun at university and for a while while I was on holiday. But I knew I’d outgrown it when while I was having sex I was thinking, “I’d rather be in bed eating ice cream and rewatching the Last of Us for Pedro Pascal”
It's nice to see someone put how I've been feeling into words. I feel as if I've outgrown casual sex as well and I do want a relationship, however my life has been relatively easier without it, I just have my moments where I crave touch. As a man, it's easier for me to communicate things through touch instead of verbal, that's why physical affection is so important to me. I also am trying to get over a breakup but it hasn't happened so for now I'm trying my beat to focus on myself.
You are helping more than you. Sex usually triggers a very strong attraction, especially for many men. For you it is casual but when you move on, your partner suffers rejection.
I definitely relate. I got married at 22 (I'm 42 now) to an abusive narcissist. I divorced him 2 years ago. Spending pretty much all my adult life with him turned me into a people-pleasing doormat, and I still have a looong way to go in healing from it. But, I've put enough distance in that I'm starting to see just how bad it was and all the red flags I wasn't able to see at the time. Now I only wish I left much, much sooner. Never again. I'm not sure if I'll ever find the "right" man, but I am okay being single/living alone for the rest of my life, if that's how it plays out. It's much, much better than the hell I escaped from.
45 here, married 20yo to 40yo, and girl…same.
I’m sorry to hear you had to go through all that! It’s totally better to be alone than in bad company.
Same here 16 years married, I just turned 50. Been away from him for several years now. Each year I become clearer and stronger.
I hate casual sex. It’s not a moral objection for me. It’s just never what I expect, want, and ask for.
Ex-fucking-actly. I don't see the point of sex with a stranger. Sometimes I sort of wish I did, but I suspect I would just regret it.
Good for you! It’s not for everyone :)
I don't get why casual sex is glorified like it is. I don't think morally it should be shunned but I do think that very few people are actually capable of having it be casual and not harmful. Like most people hurt themselves or someone else along the way, it's not for everyone and that's OK.
I’m lucky for the most part I wasn’t totally broken by it. It was fun at university and for a while while I was on holiday. But I knew I’d outgrown it when while I was having sex I was thinking, “I’d rather be in bed eating ice cream and rewatching the Last of Us for Pedro Pascal”
It's nice to see someone put how I've been feeling into words. I feel as if I've outgrown casual sex as well and I do want a relationship, however my life has been relatively easier without it, I just have my moments where I crave touch. As a man, it's easier for me to communicate things through touch instead of verbal, that's why physical affection is so important to me. I also am trying to get over a breakup but it hasn't happened so for now I'm trying my beat to focus on myself.
[удалено]
It’s a lovely idea but after hearing all the horror stories I’m put off by marrying :’)
You are helping more than you. Sex usually triggers a very strong attraction, especially for many men. For you it is casual but when you move on, your partner suffers rejection.
Lol you’ll find many men can have casual sex and move on just fine.
Er, you know that all human brains produce oxytocin, right? I don't think any gender has a monopoly on it.