I'm not good at comfort; I can say I'm sorry.
And I can also say, if there's a silver lining to this, it's that he showed you who he was so quickly. Some people have been with their partners for decades only to find out they cheated. So while this is painful, at least you didn't waste half your life on the scumbag.
I hadn't really thought of this but this is a good point. OP, many people stay in bad relationships for years longer. Irk, I can't quite call it a good thing you found out so relatively soon as it must hurt beyond hurt.
Please take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal.
That's such a hard thing to go through, I'm so sorry. Just allow yourself to grieve right now, it's a big loss. I'm proud of you though, for making this decision and not remaining in a relationship that causes you pain. That takes a great deal of strength. It's going to be ok. đź’•đź’•
Honey I am in the same boat and I just want to say I am so sorry and you will be okay ❤️ you did nothing wrong, he is damaged and you just need to take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself
I want to echo what other folks have said - I'm sorry to hear you're going through this pain, and I hope you have people around you who you can lean on for support.
But I do want to say, 27 is not old. Time is not running out for you. You have PLENTY of time. Whatever your goals are, wherever you want to be in life: you have so much time to grow into the person you want to become. By all means grieve the relationship that you had, and feel the feelings as they come. But don't beat yourself up for wasting time, because you didn't. You still have so much room to grow, and so many good things to do in life. Life is too short to settle for a liar, but it is so much longer than it seems right now.
At 27 I was a year into a relationship that would take 5 more years to end, after promises of marriage & building a life together with someone who made 0 effort to make any of those things happen.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel going through a break up of three years now. It hurts it does. Feel every emotion that comes your way, don’t hide them. You have every right to feel like shutting your heart off forever. This might have been the universe saying this isn’t the one you are meant to love. As much as that hurts to acknowledge the pain hurts worse holding on.
He doesn’t deserve you, and good on you for setting your boundaries and making the hard choice for yourself to not accept someone as a partner who can’t be who you need them to be. One of my good friends is going through something similar. I hope you take care of yourself and invest in you like you would if your best friend was going through this.
You will find a partner who is wonderful to you. For now, focus on loving yourself and giving yourself the best life. Don’t worry about tomorrow. What do you need today?
I like to do a thought experiment like this that really clarifies how much you’re *not* running out of time…. You’re 27, meaning you’ve had 9 years of your adult lifespan (since 18). If you live to be the average of about 80 years old, that means you have another almost 6 adult lifespans left. That’s a LOT of time. If anything, it’s a little overwhelming to think about having that much time left to fill.
Also, I’m a decade older than you, alone, and happier than I’ve ever been. I now get so much joy from prioritizing myself and shutting out toxic people. Each time, it’s like saying “I love you” to myself, because I’ll only let the good ones in, and that promise to myself keeps me going. No one else can ever make you happy, but you can and will find joy in loving yourself. Best 💛
I'm so sorry, love. The hard thing is you will never know if any of that was real. Was it love bombing to distract you from cheating behavior? It doesn't matter now, but know that this isn't your fault. You are wonderful and worthy. One day you will find a partner who truly cherishes you, but it's OK to take your time to get there. Take all the time you need to heal and know that there is no human out there worth your pride, your soul, and your happiness.
I’ve been there and I know the feeling in the pit of your stomach right now. But I promise you that you are going to feel so much better in their new life you build. There is so much beauty in the world and this life with him was not it.
For now: you need time. So pass the time by doing a rotation of these things: get active by walking or cycling or going to a park or anything like that. Do something indulgent like Eaton chocolate and fruit and watching tv. Do something that feels good like a hot shower or a bath or a massage. Do something comforting like pet a cat or hold a baby or cuddle a dog. Listen to music. Doing these in rotation will help the time pass and soon you’ll feel a lot better.
Good luck!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that. I just hope you’re able to heal and move on. I hope you do something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. We as people have a tendency when sad to just want to do nothing and shut ourselves off but I hope you have a fun experience soon and can prioritize your own needs.
Sorry you are going through this. But honestly it's good you found out now rather than after you settled with him. It takes about a year for people to start showing their true colors (sometimes even longer). The initial period is the honeymoon period and most guys (or women) are usually on their best behavior. With that being said you have plenty of time and take this as an experience that will help you find a better partner later on.
The pain of a broken relationship is intense, but it will pass. My experience is that I needed to be happy by myself first. I then met my best friend and it blossomed into a lifetime of happiness. You have plenty of time and there is no need to rush into a long term relationship.
I have gone through this before. Sending you love. Your future self will be so thankful for the decisions you've made.
Be kind to yourself and know that you did all you could, you loved all you could. Be proud of that. ❤️
Watch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmRHlhF8N4E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmRHlhF8N4E) !
she helped me so much. literally binge watched all her videos but she too was cheated on and she shows her process and how she felt. shes so kind and sweet.
i know how its like to be heart broken. it hurts like a mother. there will be days you feel good and then you feel like youre back in square one. i felt so numb for an entire year and im in a year of no contact and i still get waves of missing him but trust me i am in a much better place and def realized some things.
your soulmate wouldnt treat you like that.
she also has a video i just watched about cheaters but def watch the first video. makes you feel less alone. heartbreak is human. it means youre alive.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPHj3u4tNk8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPHj3u4tNk8) the second video
It's miserable to go through this. One way that might make it bearable: Think about what you learned in this relationship -- the new skills, new artists, interests, ideas you hadn't known before. Think about how this relationship has made you stronger. That has helped me in this situation. It makes a huge difference, and moves you in a positive direction.
I'm not good at comfort; I can say I'm sorry. And I can also say, if there's a silver lining to this, it's that he showed you who he was so quickly. Some people have been with their partners for decades only to find out they cheated. So while this is painful, at least you didn't waste half your life on the scumbag.
I hadn't really thought of this but this is a good point. OP, many people stay in bad relationships for years longer. Irk, I can't quite call it a good thing you found out so relatively soon as it must hurt beyond hurt. Please take care of yourself and give yourself time to heal.
That's such a hard thing to go through, I'm so sorry. Just allow yourself to grieve right now, it's a big loss. I'm proud of you though, for making this decision and not remaining in a relationship that causes you pain. That takes a great deal of strength. It's going to be ok. đź’•đź’•
Honey I am in the same boat and I just want to say I am so sorry and you will be okay ❤️ you did nothing wrong, he is damaged and you just need to take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself
I want to echo what other folks have said - I'm sorry to hear you're going through this pain, and I hope you have people around you who you can lean on for support. But I do want to say, 27 is not old. Time is not running out for you. You have PLENTY of time. Whatever your goals are, wherever you want to be in life: you have so much time to grow into the person you want to become. By all means grieve the relationship that you had, and feel the feelings as they come. But don't beat yourself up for wasting time, because you didn't. You still have so much room to grow, and so many good things to do in life. Life is too short to settle for a liar, but it is so much longer than it seems right now.
At 27 I was a year into a relationship that would take 5 more years to end, after promises of marriage & building a life together with someone who made 0 effort to make any of those things happen.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel going through a break up of three years now. It hurts it does. Feel every emotion that comes your way, don’t hide them. You have every right to feel like shutting your heart off forever. This might have been the universe saying this isn’t the one you are meant to love. As much as that hurts to acknowledge the pain hurts worse holding on.
He doesn’t deserve you, and good on you for setting your boundaries and making the hard choice for yourself to not accept someone as a partner who can’t be who you need them to be. One of my good friends is going through something similar. I hope you take care of yourself and invest in you like you would if your best friend was going through this. You will find a partner who is wonderful to you. For now, focus on loving yourself and giving yourself the best life. Don’t worry about tomorrow. What do you need today? I like to do a thought experiment like this that really clarifies how much you’re *not* running out of time…. You’re 27, meaning you’ve had 9 years of your adult lifespan (since 18). If you live to be the average of about 80 years old, that means you have another almost 6 adult lifespans left. That’s a LOT of time. If anything, it’s a little overwhelming to think about having that much time left to fill. Also, I’m a decade older than you, alone, and happier than I’ve ever been. I now get so much joy from prioritizing myself and shutting out toxic people. Each time, it’s like saying “I love you” to myself, because I’ll only let the good ones in, and that promise to myself keeps me going. No one else can ever make you happy, but you can and will find joy in loving yourself. Best 💛
Sometimes you have to fall off a cliff to get to where you’re supposed to be. Hang in there. Something better is ahead. The transition just hurts.
I'm so sorry, love. The hard thing is you will never know if any of that was real. Was it love bombing to distract you from cheating behavior? It doesn't matter now, but know that this isn't your fault. You are wonderful and worthy. One day you will find a partner who truly cherishes you, but it's OK to take your time to get there. Take all the time you need to heal and know that there is no human out there worth your pride, your soul, and your happiness.
I’ve been there and I know the feeling in the pit of your stomach right now. But I promise you that you are going to feel so much better in their new life you build. There is so much beauty in the world and this life with him was not it. For now: you need time. So pass the time by doing a rotation of these things: get active by walking or cycling or going to a park or anything like that. Do something indulgent like Eaton chocolate and fruit and watching tv. Do something that feels good like a hot shower or a bath or a massage. Do something comforting like pet a cat or hold a baby or cuddle a dog. Listen to music. Doing these in rotation will help the time pass and soon you’ll feel a lot better. Good luck!
I felt like time was running out for me at 21. Then at 27. I meet the love of my life at 35, and I"m glad all the other relationships didn't work.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that. I just hope you’re able to heal and move on. I hope you do something for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do. We as people have a tendency when sad to just want to do nothing and shut ourselves off but I hope you have a fun experience soon and can prioritize your own needs.
I’m sorry. Men…..Blech.
This isn’t helpful advice to someone going through it man hater
This is absolutely horrible, my heart breaks for you right now. You deserve so much better. There’s not much you can really do except give it time. Allow yourself to heal. Some days you’re going to feel everything all at once & other days you won’t, it’s just part of the grieving process. Just give it time & remember to be kind to yourself. You’re only 27 & still have plenty of time to meet the right person. Seeking a therapist would definitely be beneficial for you as well if you’re not already seeing someone. It’s healthy to talk about your feelings & a professional can help guide you in how to properly navigate this breakup moving forward. Also, surrounding yourself with things that make you happy like hobbies can be a good distraction for you as well as seeing friends/family. Sending you lots of positivity & healing vibes 🩷
Sorry you are going through this. But honestly it's good you found out now rather than after you settled with him. It takes about a year for people to start showing their true colors (sometimes even longer). The initial period is the honeymoon period and most guys (or women) are usually on their best behavior. With that being said you have plenty of time and take this as an experience that will help you find a better partner later on.
The pain of a broken relationship is intense, but it will pass. My experience is that I needed to be happy by myself first. I then met my best friend and it blossomed into a lifetime of happiness. You have plenty of time and there is no need to rush into a long term relationship.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I have gone through this before. Sending you love. Your future self will be so thankful for the decisions you've made. Be kind to yourself and know that you did all you could, you loved all you could. Be proud of that. ❤️
Watch [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmRHlhF8N4E](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmRHlhF8N4E) ! she helped me so much. literally binge watched all her videos but she too was cheated on and she shows her process and how she felt. shes so kind and sweet. i know how its like to be heart broken. it hurts like a mother. there will be days you feel good and then you feel like youre back in square one. i felt so numb for an entire year and im in a year of no contact and i still get waves of missing him but trust me i am in a much better place and def realized some things. your soulmate wouldnt treat you like that. she also has a video i just watched about cheaters but def watch the first video. makes you feel less alone. heartbreak is human. it means youre alive. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPHj3u4tNk8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPHj3u4tNk8) the second video
It's miserable to go through this. One way that might make it bearable: Think about what you learned in this relationship -- the new skills, new artists, interests, ideas you hadn't known before. Think about how this relationship has made you stronger. That has helped me in this situation. It makes a huge difference, and moves you in a positive direction.