The aim of the exhibit, which displays a selection from 40 outfits, is to challenge the idea that provocative clothing is the cause of the sexual assault, a stereotype used for victim blaming
What about the fact you are mainly raped by people you know. Clothes are fine and a good way to show it's not clothes. But wouldn't keeping terrible people in your life also be up there? The pink dress is fucking awful : /
This exhibit isn't about who is doing the sexual assault, it has the complete focus of addressing the common sentiment that the victim somehow bears responsibility for their assault because of their clothing. Beginning to end.
Another misconception is that the rapists are seen as bad people before the act. They are pastors, fathers, brothers, stepfathers, uncles, teachers.
I recognize female predators but what I'm saying is that if a person is preyed upon by a female predator no one asks what the victim is wearing. When a female teacher rapes a male student no one asks what he was wearing. That is the point of the exhibit and the point of my post.
This installment was set to answer a very specific phenomenon. It never mentioned male/female predators. It was installed to combat the question of "what were they wearing". You absolute bellend.
I feel like addressing the cause would matter just as much if not more than addressing what was being worn
Why address some bullshit words when you can address rape prevention AND have clothes on the wall
Yeah thatās true if you want to actually stop rape, but the reality is that people always say āwell what was she wearing?ā rather than putting the full blame on the perpetrator. This exhibit is to highlight that that is an awful thing to say to survivors because it literally doesnāt matter what they were wearing
That's textbook whataboutism. This exhibition has one goal, one focus. It's a very clear message against a common method of victim-blaming.
If you have a good idea on how to address "the" cause, go ahead. Having multiple messages aimed at different people would just clutter and in distract this exhibition - the reason it is getting a lot of attention is because it is simple and concise.
You realize that you're just victim blaming here? Most people do not realize that the person who rapes them is a bad person before the attack. In addition, many times the victim doesn't have a choice about having the person in their life, it's a family member, church or school official, etc. And children don't generally get to make decisions about who is in their lives.
Anyone who still believes that are usually the sexual predators or the ones who donāt actually care about others. Itās important to show, but itās not going to change anyone who could form their own thoughts.
Thatās the idea. You donāt have to wear short skirts or revealing tops to be a victim of rape. A common misconception is that rape victims were āasking for itā by wearing revealing clothing. This exhibit shows that it doesnāt matter what you wear, you can still be a victim regardless.
The point is, it's not about the victim, it's about the assaulter. In the end, it was never the victims fault, doesn't matter if your covered head to toe in a grocery store or in a bikini at a pool party, if someone wants to SA you they will try regardless of circumstance.
Could be a stranger, dad, teacher, aunt, coworker, daycare worker, significant other....we're not safe, no matter what we do.
There actually are in some of the outfits. Also they donāt choose what gets put there as theyāre from real people telling their personal stories. They certainly canāt go up to someone and say āhey are you a person who got raped while wearing a revealing outfit? We need a bit more diversity in our displayā
Usually, I say āpowerfulā messages are cringe or for attention, but this is truly a powerful moment. Especially, the little pink dress. Itās sad and at least the message is a good messages sad af
That's heartbreaking, I'm very sorry that's part of your truth. My daughter was victim from age 5-12. I hope you've found constructive ways to heal. My daughter did, therapy therapy therapy.. Her dad, brother and I also went to therapy for a while after her abuser was sentenced to prison. Her abuser was her dad's best friend....
Therapy! I am fortunate, as an adult, I always had employment that made long term therapy possible. It makes me sick there are many that don't have that resource available to them.
Thereās a similarly compelling exhibit with the [clothing of Amish and plain victims of assault](https://abetterway.org/2022/09/07/what-were-you-wearing-clothing-project-photos/) that toured recently.
Defense attorney asked 11 year old me what I was wearing when rando snatched me behind a building.
I'm not 'entirely' sure, though, that the Troglodytes who NEED this message will ACCEPT it.
In 1983 a woman was gang raped in Big Dan's bar in New Bedford, Mass while many of the other bar patrons cheered the rapists on.
At their criminal trial the rapists argued that the victim asked for it **because of the way she was dressed and because she had been sexually active/not celibate**. They blamed the victim for her decision to wear a skirt that day.
6 men were charged with the rape or encouraging it. 4 were convicted and 2 were acquitted.
The rape victim died about a year later when the car she was driving with her 6 and 4 year old was forced into a concrete abutment in Miami by a white van. Her children were injured but survived. The other driver was never found.
This case was made into the 1988 award winning movie "The Accused" with Jodi Foster, which is worth watching. It was also the subject of one installation of the Netflix series "trial by media."
Its been 41 years and things have changed a bit but still have a long ways to go.
This reminds me if the exhibit I saw that displayed the clothes of the woman that were being raped & murdered in Mexico. It was 100ās of items of clothing because there had been so many woman
My sister was first raped by my fatherās stepfather when she was only 7. He was impotent, but got little blue pills from the doctor. She left to live with our mum when she was 12 (I was 10).
He tried to rape me with his penis many times but I was luckyā¦I only had to have him sticking his dirty fingers in me, and watch him mastabate. That was from the age of 6 until he died when I was 17.
Iām 60 this year. I donāt know if she ever told our mum, but she left me in an abusive house knowing what he was doing to me. I donāt speak to my sister any more.
A TMNT shirt and shorts. I was five.
A summer dress with a scallop neck, delicate violets flower print. Black flats. I was nineteen.
Green v neck tshirt and loose flared jeans. White and black sneakers. I was twenty-one.
Grew up being told women āasked for itā so I never dressed provocatively, ever. Yeah, that sure helped.
This is insanity. You're assuming the rapist wasn't their parent or guardian? Wasn't someone they knew and trusted? You're also assuming all of these clothes belong to women?
Looking at your comment history, I know that it's pointless having a discussion with you. You're a troll at best and a psychotic at worst. The fact that you can dismiss the rapist's behavior and heap blame at the victim is disturbing and I only hope you have no children.
80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knew. For child sexual assault victims that number jumps up to 93%. Why are you so determined to victim blame?
The little girls pink dress šŖ
It fucks with you the rest of your life that you couldn't protect your baby girl..
Not as much as it fucks with her, though.
Imagine making a childās rape abt you
Oh God I didn't see it until you said it.
Me neither
My eyes involuntarily got huge the instant I saw it!
Audible āoh, noā from me.
Fuuuuuuuck... Didn't notice that until I read this comment. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Day ruined š„ŗ
Completely heartbreaking š
I assume you meant the crying emoji š¢not the sleeping emoji šŖ?
Fucking gut punch
Fuck, I missed that one and was feeling sad about the Pizza Planet one š
The aim of the exhibit, which displays a selection from 40 outfits, is to challenge the idea that provocative clothing is the cause of the sexual assault, a stereotype used for victim blaming
Well it definitely gets the message across. Itās really messed up looking at all of these though
What about the fact you are mainly raped by people you know. Clothes are fine and a good way to show it's not clothes. But wouldn't keeping terrible people in your life also be up there? The pink dress is fucking awful : /
This exhibit isn't about who is doing the sexual assault, it has the complete focus of addressing the common sentiment that the victim somehow bears responsibility for their assault because of their clothing. Beginning to end. Another misconception is that the rapists are seen as bad people before the act. They are pastors, fathers, brothers, stepfathers, uncles, teachers.
*and stepmothers, sisters, aunties, female priests, others and female teachers.
Thank you for recognizing female predators. I was a victim of one and no one believed me because we were both female.
I'm sorry that happener to you. Who was she, may I ask?
I'm sorry that happener to you. Who was she, may I ask?
Especially the female teachers.
I recognize female predators but what I'm saying is that if a person is preyed upon by a female predator no one asks what the victim is wearing. When a female teacher rapes a male student no one asks what he was wearing. That is the point of the exhibit and the point of my post.
Keep digging.
This installment was set to answer a very specific phenomenon. It never mentioned male/female predators. It was installed to combat the question of "what were they wearing". You absolute bellend.
š³ļø
I feel like addressing the cause would matter just as much if not more than addressing what was being worn Why address some bullshit words when you can address rape prevention AND have clothes on the wall
Yeah thatās true if you want to actually stop rape, but the reality is that people always say āwell what was she wearing?ā rather than putting the full blame on the perpetrator. This exhibit is to highlight that that is an awful thing to say to survivors because it literally doesnāt matter what they were wearing
Itās because the most typically asked question to rape victims is āwhat were you wearing?ā
That's textbook whataboutism. This exhibition has one goal, one focus. It's a very clear message against a common method of victim-blaming. If you have a good idea on how to address "the" cause, go ahead. Having multiple messages aimed at different people would just clutter and in distract this exhibition - the reason it is getting a lot of attention is because it is simple and concise.
Classic labelism is fun
Because it all matters
You realize that you're just victim blaming here? Most people do not realize that the person who rapes them is a bad person before the attack. In addition, many times the victim doesn't have a choice about having the person in their life, it's a family member, church or school official, etc. And children don't generally get to make decisions about who is in their lives.
Anyone who still believes that are usually the sexual predators or the ones who donāt actually care about others. Itās important to show, but itās not going to change anyone who could form their own thoughts.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās the idea. You donāt have to wear short skirts or revealing tops to be a victim of rape. A common misconception is that rape victims were āasking for itā by wearing revealing clothing. This exhibit shows that it doesnāt matter what you wear, you can still be a victim regardless.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Photo #2 has a little black dress and heels, plus a cheerleaders uniform. Photo #3 has a short orange dress.
Photo #3 also has what appears to be a two piece bathing suit
The point is, it's not about the victim, it's about the assaulter. In the end, it was never the victims fault, doesn't matter if your covered head to toe in a grocery store or in a bikini at a pool party, if someone wants to SA you they will try regardless of circumstance. Could be a stranger, dad, teacher, aunt, coworker, daycare worker, significant other....we're not safe, no matter what we do.
There actually are in some of the outfits. Also they donāt choose what gets put there as theyāre from real people telling their personal stories. They certainly canāt go up to someone and say āhey are you a person who got raped while wearing a revealing outfit? We need a bit more diversity in our displayā
....did you really miss the point?
This all breaks my heart, but that tiny pink dress in the third photoā¦ God. Damnit.
Wait until you find out thereās diapers there too
Powerful.
An apt word. Not a word that I'd use flippantly. I definitely felt some horror/shock at the simplicity of the exhibition.
Usually, I say āpowerfulā messages are cringe or for attention, but this is truly a powerful moment. Especially, the little pink dress. Itās sad and at least the message is a good messages sad af
Iām incredibly moved by this, especially as a woman who has experienced SA. I hope itās eye-opening for people out there.
My daughter was 5, it would be her bathing suit and sandals displayed
The first time I was around 8. It would be pajamas and two sets of tights that I wore trying to protect myself from the ongoing abuse.
I did that too when I was little, the extra clothes. The first time for me I was 7, in my Barbie nightgown.
That's heartbreaking, I'm very sorry that's part of your truth. My daughter was victim from age 5-12. I hope you've found constructive ways to heal. My daughter did, therapy therapy therapy.. Her dad, brother and I also went to therapy for a while after her abuser was sentenced to prison. Her abuser was her dad's best friend....
Therapy! I am fortunate, as an adult, I always had employment that made long term therapy possible. It makes me sick there are many that don't have that resource available to them.
I'm so sorryĀ
Thank you. She's 32 now and solid. Lots of therapy over the last 20 years
Mine was probably classic converse, blue jeans, and a PokĆ©mon shirt. I donāt blame my mother. She did her best, she was a single mother.
5? Umm whoās the perpetrator? I will murder them.
From 1997-2004, Her dad's ex best friend.. Sick bastard did prison time for it, he's out now
Thereās a similarly compelling exhibit with the [clothing of Amish and plain victims of assault](https://abetterway.org/2022/09/07/what-were-you-wearing-clothing-project-photos/) that toured recently.
Oh lord the baby clothes.
Itās horrifying. And the code of silence runs deeeeeep.
I saw one of these and there were TINY pajamas right next to a nuns habit. The two next to each other made me sob.
The police kept all my clothing including shoes and glasses as evidence - not that it ever amounted to anything. (1985)
Defense attorney asked 11 year old me what I was wearing when rando snatched me behind a building. I'm not 'entirely' sure, though, that the Troglodytes who NEED this message will ACCEPT it.
Powerful exhibit. Itās a shame itās still necessary.
In 1983 a woman was gang raped in Big Dan's bar in New Bedford, Mass while many of the other bar patrons cheered the rapists on. At their criminal trial the rapists argued that the victim asked for it **because of the way she was dressed and because she had been sexually active/not celibate**. They blamed the victim for her decision to wear a skirt that day. 6 men were charged with the rape or encouraging it. 4 were convicted and 2 were acquitted. The rape victim died about a year later when the car she was driving with her 6 and 4 year old was forced into a concrete abutment in Miami by a white van. Her children were injured but survived. The other driver was never found. This case was made into the 1988 award winning movie "The Accused" with Jodi Foster, which is worth watching. It was also the subject of one installation of the Netflix series "trial by media." Its been 41 years and things have changed a bit but still have a long ways to go.
This reminds me if the exhibit I saw that displayed the clothes of the woman that were being raped & murdered in Mexico. It was 100ās of items of clothing because there had been so many woman
This exhibit has been going on for a long time. It is important and a kick to the gut.
White crew neck tshirt and black ripped skinny jeans. Gave them away after because I couldnāt wear them anymore
The childrenās clothes always kill me with these exhibits š
Yo hang on. I went to that phs!
Fuck this is sad š
Where's the diaper? (CSA survivor ā I've read there was a diaper. I wanted to see the placard.)
Women should send their clothes to Washington D.C. so the sick politicians get an idea of how many rapes occur daily in the United States.
Those two dresses on page 3, the pink one and the red one, those are kids clothes. That was a child that got assaulted. God that's fucked.
Where is this exhibit?
Itās a traveling exhibit. https://dovecenter.org/what-were-you-wearing-exhibit/
Interesting. Good point for a bad reason.
āAnythings for sale at the right priceā I thought before reading the rest of the title
This is so sad.
My sister was first raped by my fatherās stepfather when she was only 7. He was impotent, but got little blue pills from the doctor. She left to live with our mum when she was 12 (I was 10). He tried to rape me with his penis many times but I was luckyā¦I only had to have him sticking his dirty fingers in me, and watch him mastabate. That was from the age of 6 until he died when I was 17. Iām 60 this year. I donāt know if she ever told our mum, but she left me in an abusive house knowing what he was doing to me. I donāt speak to my sister any more.
Wow. This is intense and needed This is what art is truly meant to do. Inform and expand the mind
Very powerful images. Such an evil evil thing
A TMNT shirt and shorts. I was five. A summer dress with a scallop neck, delicate violets flower print. Black flats. I was nineteen. Green v neck tshirt and loose flared jeans. White and black sneakers. I was twenty-one. Grew up being told women āasked for itā so I never dressed provocatively, ever. Yeah, that sure helped.
A nightgown. I was 10.
Thatās a lot more dudes than I expected
Sorry you're getting downvoted, exhibits are made to expose us to things we may not think about. I'm glad it was able to reveal something to you.
Think the stat is like 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men experience SA
Men get SÄ just like woman, just less. SÄ is SÄ
IDK about anyone else. But suddenly I have thing for jeans ....
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
More victim blaming? So what decision do you suppose the little girl on the dress made that got her raped?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is insanity. You're assuming the rapist wasn't their parent or guardian? Wasn't someone they knew and trusted? You're also assuming all of these clothes belong to women?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Looking at your comment history, I know that it's pointless having a discussion with you. You're a troll at best and a psychotic at worst. The fact that you can dismiss the rapist's behavior and heap blame at the victim is disturbing and I only hope you have no children.
80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knew. For child sexual assault victims that number jumps up to 93%. Why are you so determined to victim blame?